Confidence!

A Non-Cliché Look at Boosting Self-confidence

How easy is it to be self-confident?

Well, it isn’t.

“One of the main reasons people lack self-confidence is that they see a complete[ly] different world other than the real one. They assign superior powers to everyone else but them and they believe that they are inferior compared to others.”

http://www.buildsolidconfidence.com/Why_do_I_lack_Confidence

How easy is it to be self-confident?

Studies done in the 1980s tried to raise self-confidence in schools in the hopes of decreasing bullying. However, it backfired.

They thought low self-esteem could be eliminated with a “bombardment of positive messages.”

They concluded that this can actually worsen the mood of people who already have low self-esteem.

http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/articles/top-ten-facts-about-low-self-esteem/

How easy is it to be self-confident?

They ultimately learned that just saying nice things to people isn’t enough to help them feel confident about themselves.

So if positive messages aren’t the answer, what exactly are we supposed to do about confidence?

How can we increase self-confidence?

(Because a lot of people really want to know)

You Don’t Have to Be “On” All the Time

Being “on” means feigning that everything is fine and you have your life together.

People often assume everyone else is “on” all the time—and succeeding at it. You are only aware of your failings and not everyone else’s.

Whether we do it intentionally or not, trying to be “on” all the time can damage our self-confidence.

You Don’t Have to Be “On” All the Time

You don’t have to always be on top of your game. Give yourself a well-deserved break.

If you're sick, sad, tired, depressed, angry, frustrated, burned out, or anything else, it means you need to rest up—physically and emotionally.

Allowing yourself to take a break and not "keep score" means you don't have to be 100% perfect 100% of your life.

You Don’t Have to Be “On” All the Time

Try to be okay with where you are at every instance of your life, rather than waiting to be better or happy.

Ruts, roadblocks, challenges, and disappointments are super normal, so we have to let ourselves know we're doing our best and we're okay.

Understand the Real Enemy

Often, we feel pressure to look a certain way, think a certain way, or achieve a certain lifestyle.

We feel the pressure from what is said on TV, social media, song lyrics, or even those we admire.

It’s really easy to say, “They don’t think I’m attractive because I’m overweight.”

Understand the Real Enemy

Think about it: who’s ‘they’? Think of specific names of people who don’t like you. Often, no specific names will come to mind.

Work on avoiding absolutes. Be careful about blaming insecurities on

People

Society

The Patriarchy

Everyone/No one

Men/Women 

 

Understand the Real Enemy

And you know what? So what if there are people out there who don't respect you or agree with you? Are they really worth your time?

Is it worth the energy to please someone who doesn't like you or never has your best interests at heart?

The real enemy? A false interpretation of what others think of you. 

Be Your Best Friend Rather Than Your Worst Enemy

The only person you can truly please in this world is yourself. SO TREAT YOSELF.

Try to help yourself improve in healthy ways, rather than berate or critique yourself. We all have off-days, off-weeks, or off-years.

Be Your Best Friend Rather Than Your Worst Enemy

How is this even remotely possible? Many decide to:

write things down

chant a mantra to the mirror

help other people

take a break

create something

Whatever and etc.

Be Your Best Friend Rather Than Your Worst Enemy

Be real with yourself; know where you can and should improve and love yourself for your efforts.

Be Genuinely Happy for Other People

Often, it's easy to get competitive when success feels like a "1st place only" concept. It can seem like someone else’s success takes away from your own.

Truth is, that’s a lie. Just because other people are further along on with similar goals and aspirations, doesn’t mean there is no slice of happiness for you.

Be Genuinely Happy for Other People

Celebrate with others when they succeed! We don't know how much time and effort it took them to get where they are, but they worked hard be successful.

You’re being mature by giving respect where it’s due and not feeling threatened by someone else’s success.

Be Better and Confident for You

If you want to be better with how you look, a specific hobby, or get further in life, then do something!

You can do whatever you want to do. Just make sure it's for you and not for someone else.

Be Better and Confident for You

There is no council that decides the best way to really do anything. There's no real way to define what it truly means to be attractive, successful, or rich—because everyone wants something different out of life.

Be Better and Confident for You

Self-confidence is a constant struggle for many; set your own pace, reward, and terms to feel accomplished, rather than trying to live up to unrealistic expectations.