conflict management: utilizing conflict styles strategically presented by mary chavez rudolph &...
TRANSCRIPT
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT:UTILIZING CONFLICT STYLES STRATEGICALLY
PRESENTED BY MARY CHAVEZ RUDOLPH & LISA NEALE – OMBUDS OFFICE
July 26, 2012
Today’s Agenda
Introduction/Ombuds Office Conflict Management Skills Conflict is Inevitable
Personal / Professional Process and/or Content
Conflict Styles –use in managing conflict Conflict Scenarios – what would you do? Summary: Conflict Management Skills
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Conflict Management…
Word Association with “conflict”
In what areas in your life do you encounter conflict?
Steps in Managing Conflict
Think of a conflict you’ve had recently …-use the handout provided as we progress through the slides
Step 1: Managing Emotion
How did you feel in your last conflict?
Mad, sad, confused, fearful?
What strategies do you use to manage your emotions?
Step 2: Analyzing the Conflict
This may be difficult to do until you control emotion.
Asking yourself questions helps control emotion.
Content / Process / Relationship
What are your goals?
Identify your options
Content / Process / Relationship
Jot down if you think your issue is primarily a content issue, a process issue, or both.
Identify what is process and what is content.
Content: “What” are having conflict about?
Process: “How” are you treating each other when you discuss the issue? Are you communicating at all?
Relationship
Goal / Intent / Motivation
Jot down your goals for this situation.
Think: LONG TERM!
What is the ideal outcome of this situation?
Identifying your Options: Conflict Styles
Jot down what you did of these options
aThis could be your preferred conflict style.
In your example conflict, What did you do?
Give in?Try to win?Seek a compromise?Try and understand the other person’s perspective?
Ignore or side-step issue?
Assessing Your Conflict Style
Most people have one or two preferred styles
Helpful to know that you have other options and the option you choose should be dependent on the results you want to achieve
There is no right or wrong style
Concern Competing Collaborating
for Self (win/lose) (win/win)
Compromising (win/win) (lose/lose)
Avoiding Accommodating
(lose/lose) (win/lose)
Concern for Others
Conflict Styles
AVOIDING How do people act when using this style?
Diplomatically side-step the issue, ignore, hide, procrastinate, deny there is a problem
When would you use this style? When it isn’t important to you, not worth
it to engage When wouldn’t you use this style?
When the conflict continues, no one’s needs are being met
ACCOMMODATING What behaviors are present with this style?
Smiling, listening, giving in, obeying, apologizing
When would you use this style? It’s not that important to you, not
necessary to understand other person’s interests
When wouldn’t you use this style? A fast decision is needed, not a lot of
commitment involved in the process
COMPETING How do people act when using this style?
Assert their position, debate, shout, interrupt, do not give in, possible physical contact/violence
When would you use this style? Emergencies, when you are being taken
advantage of/manipulated, when you really want to win
When wouldn’t you use this style? When the relationship takes precedence
over your winning
COLLABORATING
How do people act when using this style? Listen, identify interests, explore issue in
depth, find ways to improve relationship When would you use this style?
Long-term relationships, you have the time to commit to the process, you want a lot of buy-in, involvement
When wouldn’t you use this style? Time factor, leadership is more important,
situation does not require this process
COMPROMISING How do people act when using this style?
Make concessions, seek to split the difference, find happy medium
When would you use this style? When you don’t have the time and energy,
need for a fast solution, relationship isn’t that important
When wouldn’t you use this style? When determining interests to enhance the
relationship is more important than a quick solution
When to use which style…
How much time to do you have (i.e., does action need to be taken immediately?)
What have you already tried? How important is the issue to you? Is there a relationship? Is there a possibility you are wrong? Has this ever happened before? Is there a difference in power?
Manage Emotion / Think Determine your Goals Decide on a Strategy (conflict style) Separate Positions from Interests Consider Timing and Setting Ask Open-Ended Questions Benefit of the Doubt Active Listening
Reflect Emotion “I“ Statements
Summary: Skills for Managing Conflict
Positions and Interests
Positions are specific proposals or solutions that a party suggests to meet his/her interests or needs. A position is usually only one solution to a given problem. In many cases, that solution is satisfactory only to the person suggesting it. Positions are often rigid and offer limited flexibility.
Positions and Interests, cont. Interests are needs that a party
wants to have satisfied. The most powerful interests are basic human needs:
security economic well-being a sense of belonging recognition control over one's life respect
Scenario:
A co-worker recently stopped friendly conversations with you. You are unsure why. Yesterday, this co-worker came into your office, slammed the door shut behind her, and began screaming at you for not completing an important report. After a few minutes of screaming, she left your office.
What conflict styles have you used? What other options do you have at this point?
Concern Competing Collaborating
for Self (win/lose) (win/win)
Compromising (win/win) (lose/lose)
Avoiding Accommodating
(lose/lose) (win/lose)
Concern for Others
Conflict Styles
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www.ucdenver.edu/ombuds