copyright © 2017 by positive psychology program b.v. all

Copyright © 2017 by Positive Psychology Program B.V. All rights reserved.

This ebook or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, relabelled, or used in any commercial manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher.

Permission is not required for personal or professional use, such as in a coaching- or classroom setting.

Positive Psychology Program B.V.Gandhiplein 166229HN MAASTRICHTThe Netherlands

https://PositivePsychologyProgram.com

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1 Introduction 5

Chapter 2 Session 1 - Attention & The Now 12

Chapter 3 Session 2 - Automaticity 22

Chapter 4 Session 3 - Judgment 34

Chapter 5 Session 4 - Acceptance 47

Chapter 6 Session 5 - Goals 60

Chapter 7 Session 6 - Compassion 74

Chapter 8 Session 7 - The Ego 90

Chapter 9 Session 8 - Integration 107

References 113

n REMAINING CHAPTERS (NOT INCLUDED HERE)

INTRODUCTION

1

This Training

4

MINDFULNESS WORKBOOK

n WELCOME

Welcome to this mindfulness training. By providing the opportunity to devote attention to the processes that underlie mindfulness and explore scientific findings related to mindfulness, this training is different from other programs in many respects. In this way, this training provides participants a better, more complete understanding of mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a lot more than a strategy to manage difficult situations. It is a way to cultivate a more balanced relationship to oneself in relation to the realities of life. Mindfulness can better be understood as a way of being and living rather than a tactic or strategy for life. It entails many different facets and elements. By choosing one specific element of mindfulness to study and practice on a weekly basis, we hope that over time you will experience an in depth understanding of the fulsome nature of mindfulness.

In this training, you will benefit from:

▪ One deep-dive into a specific element of mindfulness per session ▪ Integrating information and practice with scientific evidence and insights ▪ Detailed explanations covering the reasons for certain practices ▪ Small practices that aim to increase the integration of mindfulness into daily

life ▪ Examining mindfulness in the broader context of life and how we perceive

things ▪ Understanding the foundation of processes that mindfulness rest upon ▪ Weekly presentations ▪ E-mails with inspirational quotes

I hope you will enjoy this training and that it will provide useful insights and practices for a more mindful life!


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n MINDFULNESS DEFINED

Mindfulness refers to attention that can be directed inside as well as outside of ourselves. Attention to feelings, body sensations, thoughts, or emotions, for example, is directed inward. Attention to a conversation with a friend, trees in a forest, sounds, or a book, for instance, is directed outward.Mindfulness refers to attention in the here and now. Attention to the things that are happening in this very moment. This may sound easy, but how many times is our attention redirected by our thoughts? Although thinking is undeniably very handy, as it allows us to make plans and solve difficult problems, at the same time, it often triggers many problems. Our mind can get easily lost in endless thinking (worrying and rumination). Our thoughts create emotions and feelings like fear and sadness. We lie awake at night because we worry about what might happen tomorrow. We cannot stop thinking about that mistake we made last week. In our mind, we are constantly busy with the things that need to be completed. These are only a few examples of how our mind can make life difficult. Mindfulness teaches us to deal with these problematic thoughts by focusing our attention on the here and now. Mindfulness helps us create a different relationship with our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Mindful attention means attention without judgment. Often, sensations like tension or fear are automatically labelled as “bad,” “inappropriate,” or “unwanted.” When we judge a certain feeling (“I experience fear, this is bad, I don’t want to feel this way”), we automatically create a conflict, a conflict between the current feeling (“bad”) and expected or ideal feeling (“good”). Any attempts to resolve this conflict, for instance by suppressing a negative feeling, require a lot of energy (Baumeister, Bratslavsky, Muraven, & Tice, 1998) and paradoxically cause us to feel even worse (rebound effects; Wegner, 1994). Acceptance plays a key role in mindfulness. Through mindful attention and acceptance, we allow every feeling, emotion, sensation or thought to be present. They are there anyway. Instead of fighting against feelings or thoughts, mindfulness fosters willingness to acknowledge, allow, and accept these internal states. By letting go of this struggle and fight, we save energy (Alberts, Schneider, & Martijn, 2011) and realize that the things we fight against often fade away automatically, often sooner than when we actively fight against them. As soon as we acknowledge emotion, one can experience it as a temporary state; in other words, the emotion comes and goes. In this way, one becomes an observer of one’s own inner states (through observing the self; Deikman, 1982). One is no longer identified and completely lost in the content of thoughts of feelings but

“Mindfulness is attention in the here and now”.

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becomes their observer. This observer can still experience emotions or feelings but can now also decide whether he/she want to be fully taken by them. By observing thoughts without judgment, one can experience their transient nature. In addition, we learn that not everything we think is true. In sum, mindfulness can help us identify less strongly with feelings, emotions, or thoughts. In other words, we are not our emotions or thoughts, we can simply be aware of our emotions or thoughts.

n BALANCE

It is possible that this definition of mindfulness gives the impression that mindfulness means living in the present moment only, without thoughts about the future and without all automatic patterns of thinking. Mindfulness is about balance. For instance, there is nothing wrong with goal setting. Goals can provide direction, motivation, and meaning to achieve a future state. However, problems occur when the balance between goals (future desired state) and the present moment (things we do in the present to achieve a desired future goal) is lost. In this case, it is possible that we are so focused on reaching our goals, that we forget to live in the present. Our life becomes a sequence of goals, with our mind constantly living in the future and preventing us from enjoying the present. This can easily lead to frustration, especially when we notice that we fail to reach our goals in the anticipated time span (Boekaerts, 1999). In some cases, we even fail to reach our goal because of our obsessive focus on the goal (Wegner, 1994). Mindfulness helps us become aware that living in the present moment is the key to reaching our goals. By focusing our attention on the present moment, we often become more efficient and effective in terms of goal achievement. The same principle of balance applies to automatic behavior. In some cases, automatic patterns of behavior are very helpful. Driving a car, writing and making gestures are all examples of helpful automatic patterns. However, in some cases, automatic patterns can cause unwanted behavior, like responding aggressively when you receive a criticism or automatically starting to worry when we appraise an event as negative. In these cases, mindfulness can help us become more aware of these automatic patterns and change them in order to create more balance between helpful and less helpful patterns. Finally, mindfulness is a way of dealing with and perceiving reality. It can provide insights about our emotions, our reactions, thoughts etc. Insight is gained not by means of conflict or fighting, but by cultivating an open attitude and acceptance. It offers a different way of relating to reality than the one to which we are often accustomed. You can decide for yourself whether this view is valuable.


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n WHAT IS NEEDED

This training requires about 15 to 30 minutes a day and is most effective when done at home. Different types of exercises include formal meditation and more informal daily practices. These exercises can be both valuable and fun and provide you with practical opportunities to link the insights obtained from the weekly sessions with your personal life.

uPATIENCE

The effects of your efforts will not always be immediately evident. You may compare it to gardening. You need to prepare the soil, plant the seeds, water them, and patiently wait for the garden to grow. Therefore, take your time to do the homework and try to do it to the best of your ability.

Advice 1:

Store this booklet in a clearly visible location. This will help remind you of

the training and to do the exercises.

Advice 2:

Determine when and where to practice. Create a method that will drive

your automatic behavior. For example:

When: every evening, after doing the dinner dishes

Where: in my bedroom

What: I will practice seated meditation

uTHE MODELS

The models presented in this booklet aim to clarify processes that underlie mindful and mindless behaviour. Models point to reality but are not the same as reality. In the same way that the word “hat” is not in reality a hat but a string of letters, a model presents an idea of how reality works, not reality itself. Reality is far too complex to be completely translated into words, concepts, figures, or models. Reality can only be experienced in the here and now because reality is nowhere else. Models, words, and concepts can provide insights and help create experience, but they can never actually be the real experience in and of itself.

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uWITHOUT JUDGMENT

We are very used to judging everything and everyone around us. We compare present experiences with past experiences or expectations and make judgments automatically. We experience something and we automatically start thinking what the experience means or whether it is “good” or “bad.” This process of judgment prevents us from being fully present in the here and now. We see the present through the lens of our judgment. Trying not to judge is similar to trying not to think of a white bear. The more we try not to think about the white bear, the more we think about it. It is enough to become aware of judgment. During practice, notice when your mind judges and direct your attention in a compassionate way back to the practice.

uENDLESSLY STARTING OVER AGAIN

Mindfulness is about starting over again and again. Once you get distracted during practice, gently redirect your attention back again. You will do this many times. In fact, it is part of the exercise. In this way, you train redirection of attention, a crucial aspect of attention regulation. Mindfulness cultivates open awareness, which is the hallmark of a beginner’s mind. It allows us to look at reality for the first time, like a young child who experiences something for the very first time.

uWITHOUT STRIVING

Mindfulness exercises do not aim to achieve a certain goal. This may sound very strange. People participate in mindfulness trainings because they wish to achieve the goal of worrying less, experiencing less stress or less pain, and the like. The exercises aim to cultivate awareness of the present. Awareness of the present can hardly be called a goal because goals are always related to the future. The problem is that when we start doing the exercises to achieve a certain goal (I am now going to meditate because I want to become calm and relaxed), the goal not only focuses our attention on the future, but also makes us aware during the exercise that we are not achieving the goal fast enough, if at all. The goal of mindfulness is not to achieve a goal (like becoming relaxed or becoming the best meditator ever) but to be present with whatever arises in the present moment. Paradoxically, this type of awareness has been linked to several positive health-related outcomes, but it can only be cultivated in the present, with a future detached mindset.

uACCEPTANCE

Acceptance starts with perceiving reality as it is in the present moment. Acceptance is first about acknowledging what is present. In general, we often see what we


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don’t want to see and what we wish to see differently. We devote much time to denying what is there. Consequently, we waste a lot of precious energy by resisting something that cannot be changed in the first place. During practice, both pleasant and unpleasant sensations may arise, along with diverse emotions and thoughts. Instead of denying them and pushing them away, mindfulness requires willingness to let them be in the present moment, as they are. Remember that the goal of mindfulness is not to get rid of these internal states but to change one’s relationship with these states. Mindfulness cultivates a more friendly, acceptance-based relationship with internal states. In other words, when unpleasant states arise, try to welcome them and perceive them as part of the exercise, part of reality. Let them be as they are.

uLETTING GO

Sometimes, positive experiences arise during the exercises. People often want to hold on to these experiences. We attempt to prolong their duration and make them last longer. Open awareness means detachment from all events. In fact, when we try to change the course of positive experiences, we are doing the same thing as when we try to push away the negative states. In both cases, we try to alter the reality instead of experiencing it with an open, detached attitude. It is enough to observe and give the positive experience room to follow its natural course. The more freedom you allow for experiences to occur, the more freedom you will experience.

uCOMPASSION

Practice compassion. Don’t be angry at yourself when you inevitably get distracted during the exercises. Thoughts and feelings will always arise. Every mind operates like this. Your mind is no exception. Awareness in this moment gives you an opportunity to direct your attention back to the exercise in a gentle, compassionate way. Thus, be kind to yourself when you notice pain, anger or fear. Be kind when you notice that you make judgments and get distracted and when your mind wants to avoid pain. Practice friendly, open awareness.

SESSION 1

2

Attention and the Now


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n ATTENTION

Attention focuses our awareness on a specific experience (Western, 1999). This process can be compared to the operation of a flashlight. Attention is like the light from the flashlight that illuminates a specific area, making it visible to the one who is holding the light. Thus, attention allows us to make things “visible”. In other words, by paying attention, we can become aware of things.

Focusing attention can be compared

to the operation of a flashlight, where

the illuminated object represents the

focus of our awareness.

When it comes to attention, two different elements are at work: 1. The one that demands attention and 2. The one that regulates attention

Ad 1. External stimuli (such as noise, a handsome passerby, or an advertisement on TV) but also internal stimuli (such as feelings, emotions, or thoughts) may require attention. For example, when we suddenly hear a loud bang, our attention is automatically directed to this sound. The same is true for internal stimuli. Thus, a worrisome thought can also draw our attention and distract us from what we are doing.

Ad 2. Everybody has the will or ability to focus and regulate attention. When a loud bang draws our attention, we can decide to focus on what we were doing before. This process is called attention regulation and is a specific form of self-control. According to some researchers, attention regulation is the most important form of self-control. This is because attention plays a central role in all other forms of self-regulation, such as the regulation of emotions, impulses, and thoughts (see, for example Baumeister, Heatherton, & Tice, 1994).

The extent to which we are able to regulate our attention is strongly related to well-being and is a strong predictor of happiness, satisfaction with social relationships, resistance to temptations, and academic performance (Duckworth & Seligman 2005; Kelly & Conley 1987; Tangney, Baumeister, & Boone 2004). The good news is that control of attention can be trained (Tang et al, 2007; Oaten and Cheng, 2006), which is what we will do during the course.

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The training of attention is essential in mindfulness. Mindfulness teaches us to focus the attention on what is happening in this moment, the now. Although this sounds easy, it seems that we often just do not live in the moment and instead, focus our attention on our thoughts or the content of our thoughts. When we look back at the previously discussed dichotomy of the elements at work here, one could say that thoughts belong to the first category in that they require attention. Mindfulness appeals to the second category, the one that regulates attention. Mindfulness exercises are a form of training attention.

In line with the above, studies have shown that mindfulness training improves attention and self-control (Chambers, Yee Lo, & Allen, 2008; Fetterman, Robinson, Ode and Gordon, 2010; Tang et al, 2007; Zeidan, Johnson, Diamond, David, & Goolkasian, 2010).

n THE PRESENT MOMENT

Of all the things that can draw our attention, we pay relatively little attention to the now. Rather, our attention is directed towards the past or the future. As we are taking a shower in the morning, we rarely pay attention to showering itself and the sensations that it entails. Instead, we are focusing on the things that need to be done that day or the things that we did day before.

Mental “tools”, like thinking and planning, can be very useful. However, at the same time, they can cause emotional imbalance because we are often not able to stop thinking and planning, even when it is not required. They are powerful tools that are often difficult to dismiss. Consequently, we think about rather than actually experience life.

Concerns about the future, regrets about the past, comparing oneself with others, and constantly thinking about how things could be better are examples of typical thoughts. Constant thinking makes it impossible to fully enjoy a nice meal, a nice concert, or falling rain. This constant thinking not only distracts our thoughts and attention from the here and now, but when thoughts are negative, they can also cause problems, such as anxiety or stress.

Mindfulness can help us realize that thoughts are not reality. By focusing our attention on the present moment, we free ourselves from obsessive thinking and connect with our direct experience rather than a mental story. Soon we realize that in this moment, right here and right now, there is rarely an actual problem.

The present moment

is all there is, yet we

often pay very little

attention to it.


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Being able to connect with the present moment has clear benefits. Research has shown that people who are more mindful are in general happier (Drake, Duncan, Sutherland, Abernethy, & Henry, 2008) and report less anxiety, depressive discomforts, anger, and worries (Baer, 2003; Brown, Ryan, & Creswell, 2007; Greeson & Brantley, 2008; Grossman, Niemann, Schmidt, & Walach, 2004). A higher degree of mindfulness is also associated with reduced stress and increased gratitude, hope, and vitality (Baer, Smith, Hopkins, Krietemeyer, & Toney, 2006; Brown & Ryan, 2003; Cardaciotto, Herbert, Forman, Moitra, & Farrow, 2008; Feldman, Hayes, Kumar, Greeson,& Laurenceau, 2007; Walach, Buchheld, Buttenmueller, Kleinknecht, & Schmidt, 2006).

n EXERCISE: THE BODY SCAN

The body scan, as the name suggests, entails bringing awareness to each part of the body, starting with the feet and moving up from there.

Tips for the body scan:

▪ During meditation, you may get distracted, fall asleep, find your mind wandering, and/or feel body sensations. Consider that it is a part of and a challenge of the exercise. There is no right or wrong way to meditate. The moment you realize that you are not present in the exercise, you are in fact already present. Simply realizing that you are not present is a success, and the non-presence makes success possible.

▪ If your mind wanders a lot, consider these thoughts as passing events, nothing special). Then try to gently bring your attention back to the body scan in the present moment.

▪ Try not to focus on ideas such as “success”, “failure”, “doing really well”, or “trying to relax the body.” The body scan is not a competition; it is not a skill to be achieved. The only thing that is important and that really helps is practice.

▪ Try to approach your experience with an accepting attitude, or in other words, allow it to just happen, “that’s just how it is right here, right now.” If you try to avoid, suppress, or expel unpleasant thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations, chances are high that they will just return more often.

n INFORMATION: THE BODY SCAN

▪ The body scan teaches us to recognize and experience physical sensations. Much of our attention focuses on our thoughts and on matters outside our body, such as our job, social environment, etc. This increases the risk that one

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will pay very little attention to physical signals. The recognition of physical signals, such as tension or restlessness, is important, especially for the prevention of stress and burn-out (Shapiro, Astin, Bishop, & Cordova, 2005). The body scan is a method used to get more in touch with body sensations and signals and to become familiar with them.

▪ The body scan allows us to experience the noise of our thoughts through our bodies. The simple instruction binds attention to one part of the body at a time, which can be much more difficult than one might initially think.

▪ The body scan teaches us to draw attention to a specific point. In the body scan, the point of attention is one part of the body. The effect of such training of attention can also transfer to other areas, such as focusing (concentrating) the attention on a specific task, a conversation with someone, etc.

▪ The body scan method teaches us to detect when attention wanders. Being able to notice when attention wanders is a critical component of successful self-control. The self-control literature uses the term “monitoring” to describe this function (for more information see: Carver, 2004).

▪ The body scan can provide insight into the nature and pattern of thoughts in general. This would allow you to notice recurring themes of thoughts that are played repeatedly like an old record.

▪ The body scan teaches us to cultivate self-compassion. Rather than criticizing ourselves for being distracted, attention is returned to the body, gently without judgment.

The body scan teaches us to recognize and experience physical sensations.


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n AT HOME

▪ Try to do the body scan (short or long) at home. The more repetitions, the greater the effect. The best would be to do the body scan daily. However, if you cannot, try to practice as often as possible.

▪ Choose one (or more) routine activities, such as brushing your teeth, cycling home, eating, doing the dishes, going to the supermarket, taking a walk, and the like, and try to do the activity with full attention. In other words, try to focus on the act just as you try to focus your attention on a certain body part during the body scan.

▪ During the next week, choose routine activities on which you will consciously focus your attention. List those activities below:

1.

2.

3.

▪ During the next week, try to pay attention to how you engage in a conversation. Try to focus on the conversation as fully as possible and the person/persons with whom you are communicating. The moment you notice that your thoughts are distracted, return your attention to the conversation. Try to be as present as possible.

Advice

Choose a fixed time and place. It can help enormously to reserve a

certain time of day on your calendar for the exercise.

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ExerciseTimes

performedObservations or perceptions

during the exercise

Body Scan

Routine Activities

Consciously Listening

LOGBOOk

MONDAY

ExerciseTimes


during the exercise

Body Scan

Routine Activities


TUESDAY


17

ExerciseTimes


during the exercise

Body Scan

Routine Activities


WEDNESDAY

ExerciseTimes


during the exercise

Body Scan

Routine Activities


THURSDAY

18


ExerciseTimes


during the exercise

Body Scan

Routine Activities


FRIDAY

ExerciseTimes


during the exercise

Body Scan

Routine Activities


SATURDAY


19

ExerciseTimes


during the exercise

Body Scan

Routine Activities


SUNDAY

NOTES

copyright © 2017 by positive psychology program b.v. all

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