counseling children: a microskills approach (transcript ... · counseling children: a microskills...

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COUNSELING CHILDREN: A MICROSKILLS APPROACH (Transcript and Handout) by Mary Bradford Ivey, Ed.D., N.C.C., L.M.H.C. Segments of the videotape include: * Teasing and the Five-Stage Interview—a 6th grader works through teasing and develops a new, more positive story (Page 1). * The Positive Asset Search—a less verbal child learns how to find strengths to cope with conflict (Page 9). * Young Children and Friendship Issues—the five stage interview is used with a first grade child to find new solutions (Page 11). * The Community Genogram—enabling children to see themselves in social and cultural context (Page 13). * The Family Tree—helping children discover positives in their family history (Page 19). * Restorying Dreams—a first grader learns how to think differently about dreams (Page 24). As the community genogram is a relatively new strategy, we have included a handout at the end of the transcript that you are free to duplicate for student use. (Page 27) Notice: This video film is for educational purposes and classroom demonstration. It is designed to show counseling issues with children. For this tape, experienced child ACTORS have been selected. The interviews are role-plays of concerns children might have, but are not issues for these child ACTORS. Parents have reviewed transcripts and the videos and given approval for all material herein. Mary Introduction Counseling children is one of the most rewarding and exciting things one can do in the entire field of professional helping. You find a spontaneity and energy from children which is nothing else but uplifting and joyful. Children respond well to early interventions and one of the greatest satisfaction in my life is seeing children change rapidly in positive directions as a result of effective use of microskills. In addition to that, working with children is just plain fun. You’ll get a lot of laughs and the warmth you’ll share with children is wonderful. You never know what a child is going to say. At the same time, it makes me very sad to think about the very complex and deep issues that children face. Children have real concerns such as difficulty with peers, trouble with academics, situational issues at home, or even harrassment for reason of race, gender, or social class. This series of video demonstrations is to show some basics of counseling children. I am focusing in this series on fairly typical issues that children bring to counseling. If you can work with these microskills, you have a good foundation for working later with the more difficult issues that you will face. Essentially, the same counseling procedures work with children as those that work with adults. But, you need to be very concrete and specific in your language, you need to be able to work in a brief solution-oriented framework, and you, yourself, need to love and enjoy children. In this demonstration series, I have found wonderful child actors who role-play typical issues that you might expect to find in child-oriented counseling. I am very thankful to them for their participation in this series. All videos have been shown to parents and approved for viewing. So, let us start the series ---- Tape 1 THEY ARE TEASING ME ABOUT MY SHOES Mary Bradford Ivey and Damaris Delgado Mary Introduction This videotape demonstrates the Microcounseling five- stages of the interview. The first two stages—relationship and structuring and gathering data are combined in this tape as I already had a relationship with Demaris and she knew what to expect from me. Particularly important in Stage 2 is gathering data about the client’s positive assets and strengths. Too much of counseling focuses on negatives and problems. Children, adolescents, and adults will resolve their challenges best through attention to their strengths. Teasing is a complex issue which we too often tend to minimize. In our school, we have a policy in which we consider teasing as harrassment. Ultimately, any serious teasing must also involve counseling the perpetrators—those children who tease, bully, or gang- up on certain children. As we move to stage 5, generalization, you will note that I move to starting working on the system which brought the child to counseling in the first place. I believe it is important to prevent as well as resolve student concerns. Title: THEY ARE TEASING ME ABOUT MY SHOES Title:

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Page 1: COUNSELING CHILDREN: A MICROSKILLS APPROACH (Transcript ... · COUNSELING CHILDREN: A MICROSKILLS APPROACH (Transcript and Handout) by Mary Bradford Ivey, Ed.D., N.C.C., L.M.H.C

COUNSELING CHILDREN:

A MICROSKILLS APPROACH

(Transcript and Handout)

by Mary Bradford Ivey, Ed.D., N.C.C., L.M.H.C.

Segments of the videotape include:* Teasing and the Five-Stage Interview—a 6th grader works through teasing and develops a new, more positive story (Page 1).* The Positive Asset Search—a less verbal child learns how to find strengths to cope with conflict (Page 9).* Young Children and Friendship Issues—the five stage interview is used with a first grade child to find new solutions (Page 11).* The Community Genogram—enabling children to see themselves in social and cultural context (Page 13).* The Family Tree—helping children discover positives in their family history (Page 19).* Restorying Dreams—a first grader learns how to think differently about dreams (Page 24).

As the community genogram is a relatively new strategy, we have included a handout at the end of the transcript that you are free to duplicate for student use. (Page 27)

Notice: This video film is for educational purposes and classroom demonstration. It is designed to show counseling issues with children. For this tape, experienced child ACTORS have been selected. The interviews are role-plays of concerns children might have, but are not issues for these child ACTORS. Parents have reviewed transcripts and the videos and given approval for all material herein.

Mary Introduction

Counseling children is one of the most rewarding and exciting things one can do in the entire field of professional helping. You find a spontaneity and energy from children which is nothing else but uplifting and joyful. Children respond well to early interventions and one of the greatest satisfaction in my life is seeing children change rapidly in positive directions as a result of effective use of microskills.

In addition to that, working with children is just plain fun. You’ll get a lot of laughs and the warmth you’ll share with children is wonderful. You never know what a child is going to say.

At the same time, it makes me very sad to think about the very complex and deep issues that children face. Children have real concerns such as difficulty with peers, trouble with academics, situational issues at home, or even harrassment for reason of race, gender, or social class.

This series of video demonstrations is to show some basics of counseling children. I am focusing in this series on fairly typical issues that children bring to counseling. If you can work with these microskills, you have a good foundation for working later with the more difficult issues that you will face.

Essentially, the same counseling procedures work with children as those that work with adults. But, you need to be very concrete and specific in your language, you need to be able to work in a brief solution-oriented framework, and you, yourself, need to love and enjoy children.

In this demonstration series, I have found wonderful child actors who role-play typical issues that you might expect to find in child-oriented counseling. I am very thankful to them for their participation in this series. All videos have been shown to parents and approved for viewing.

So, let us start the series ----

Tape 1

THEY ARE TEASING ME ABOUT MY SHOES

Mary Bradford Ivey and Damaris Delgado

Mary Introduction

This videotape demonstrates the Microcounseling five-stages of the interview.

The first two stages—relationship and structuring and gathering data are combined in this tape as I already had a relationship with Demaris and she knew what to expect from me.

Particularly important in Stage 2 is gathering data about the client’s positive assets and strengths. Too much of counseling focuses on negatives and problems. Children, adolescents, and adults will resolve their challenges best through attention to their strengths.

Teasing is a complex issue which we too often tend to minimize. In our school, we have a policy in which we consider teasing as harrassment. Ultimately, any serious teasing must also involve counseling the perpetrators—those children who tease, bully, or gang-up on certain children.

As we move to stage 5, generalization, you will note that I move to starting working on the system which brought the child to counseling in the first place. I believe it is important to prevent as well as resolve student concerns.

Title: THEY ARE TEASING ME ABOUT MY SHOES

Title:

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STAGES 1 AND 2: DRAWING OUT THE STORY

RAPPORT/STRUCTURING

GATHERING INFORMATION/

IDENTIFYING ASSETS

Mary: Damaris, how’re you doing?

Damaris: Good.

Mary: I’m glad you could come down. I know--your sorta indicated that you wanted to talk to me a little bit.

Damaris: Um, well, these--

Mary: What’s happening?

Subtitle: OPEN INVITATION TO TALK

Damaris: In school, in my class, there’s these group of girls that keep making fun of my shoes, just ‘cause I don’t have Nikes.

Mary: They keep making fun of your shoes?

Subtitle: ENCOURAGE/RESTATEMENT

Damaris: Yeah!

Mary: Oh! Wow!

Damaris: Well, they’re not the best but, I mean--

Mary: Oh!

Damaris: --they’re not Nikes, like everyone has ‘em.

Mary: Yeah, they’re nice shoes, though. You know?

Subtitle: FEEDBACK

Damaris: Yeah. But my family’s not that rich, you know. Those girls are rich.

here we need to stop the tape and insert a title

Title: NOTE THE WORD “BUT.” WHEN A CLIENT USES THIS WORD, WE ARE NOT ON TRACK. RETURN TO ACTIVE LISTENING.

Mary: I see. And they can afford Nike shoes, and you have these shoes which are very, very-- they’re nice, but they’re just not like they are, and they tease you about it?

Subtitle: SUMMARIZATION

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: And how does that make you feel?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

Damaris: Well, sometimes they make fun of me and call me names, and I feel sad or--I try to ignore them, but still, the feeling inside me just hurts.

Mary: Makes you feel awful.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Makes you feel hurt inside or sad that they should tease you about--

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: --shoes, which is such a, you know, really-- that’s really not all that important, but it is important to you if they’re teasing you about it.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Yeah. Wow. Oh! [sigh] So, doesn’t--it sounds like that’s--that’s really a hurtful kinda thing.

Subtitle: REFLECTION OF FEELING/SUMMARY

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Title: THE POSITIVE ASSET SEARCH—FIND STRENGTHS TO HELP CHILDREN TO COPE WITH THEIR ISSUES.

Mary: You know, I think of you, though, and I think of all the things that you do well, I get-- you know, it makes me sad to hear this part because I think of all the talents you have and all the things that you like to do and--and the strengths that you have.

Subtitle: SELF-DISCLOSURE

Damaris: Right. Yeah.

Mary: What sort of comes to mind when you think about all the positive things? Wow, I just think that they don’t know the real you, with all the things that you have to offer!

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

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Damaris: Well, in school, I like to read and write, and I want to be a journalist when I grow up, but--

Mary: You read and write and you want to be a journalist, ‘cause you can write well? Wow!

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: You can sit and use these magic markers if you want to doodle while we’re talking; I’m sitting here holding this. You can do whatever you want. You know how sometimes we like to doodle down here and draw things, whatever you’d like to draw.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Some of our feelings. So you’d like to be a journalist? So you have lots of strengths. You’re good at academics in school.

Subtitle: DIRECTIVE

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: And--

Damaris: And I play soccer.

Mary: Oh, you play soccer, too?

Damaris: Yes.

Mary: Oh! Play--do you play on the team?

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Well, that’s great!

Damaris: At school, we do.

Mary: Uh-huh.

Damaris: It’s kinda like at recess, like I’m one of the people that plays a lot, so--

Mary: Oh, you--you are.

Damaris: --so I’m like the leader, almost, but--

Mary: Oh, that’s nice, to be a leader in the soccer, yeah!

Damaris: [small giggle]

Mary: And the kids all look up to you there.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Uh-huh. So how do you feel when you’re a leader in soccer and when you’re, you know --

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE

Damaris: It feels good! [small laugh]

Mary: It feels good--

Damaris: Yeah!

Mary: --to be a leader in soccer! Yeah! It does! So that’s--it’s a good--it’s a, you know, you feel proud of how you do in soccer and how you do in--what was the other thing you said? I already forgot.

Subtitle: REFLECTION OF FEELING

Damaris: Um, reading and writing.

Mary: Right, academics! The most important thing. Omigoodness, the most important thing in school is learning to read and write, and you do well in that! So, gee, you’re a good student and you are good at soccer and a leader, and--and how does that make--it makes you feel good inside, you said?

Subtitle: SUMMARY

Damaris: Yeah, it makes me feel good inside. I do my homework and everything, but then when I come to school, they just have to spoil it for me.

Mary: They just spoil it. So you’ve got these good feelings inside, good that you’re strong in academics, good that you’re, you know, good at soccer and a leader. Now, I’m just wondering how we can take those good feelings that you feel as a student who’s going to be a journalist someday and a soccer player who’s a leader, how you can take the good, strong feelings of a student and the feelings of being, um, a leader out on the soccer field and--and use that in--in solving this problem with, um, with the kids that are teasing.

Subtitle: RESTORYING STRENGTHSVIA SUMMARY AND QUESTIONING

TITLE:

STAGE 3:

DETERMINING OUTCOMES:

TOWARD RESTORYING

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Mary: Well, actually, if you could do anything, what would you like to have happen?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

Damaris: Well, I’d really like to have new shoes, but I don’t think that would happen. But I would like to really talk to them and tell them this, you know, what I’m gonna do. And I would like to tell the teacher, but I don’t want to be a tattle-tale. I may get in trouble for doing that.

Mary: I see. So you don’t really want to be a tattle- tale, but you just really want them to stop and--and, um, not--for that part, not to be important in your relationship. So--so what comes to mind? We’d like to have little kinds of things happen. What might be a goal that you can set for yourself?

Damaris: Well--

Mary: What could you possibly do?

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE, OPEN QUESTION

Damaris: I can try to ignore them and, you know, know that I am a good person inside, but--

Mary: Ooh, that makes me feel good, to hear that.

Damaris: Mmmm.

Mary: To know that I’m a good person inside.

Subtitle: SELF-DISCLOSURE

Title:

STAGE 4:

EXPLORING ALTERNATIVES AND

DEVELOPING A NEW STORY

(Producer’s note: the first four statements are repeated again.)

Damaris: I can try to ignore them and, you know, know that I am a good person inside, but--

Mary: Ooh, that makes me feel good, to hear that.

Damaris: Mmmm.

Mary: To know that I’m a good person inside.

Mary: Just say that out loud to yourself.

Damaris: To know that I’m a good person inside.

Mary: I’m--even now that you know that, just say, “I’m a good person inside!”

Damaris: Mmm--

Mary: Can you say that?

Subtitle: DIRECTIVE

Damaris: I’m a good person inside!

Mary: Wow! I like that!

Damaris: [small laugh]

Mary: And that’s what it’s all about! I mean, isn’t it really all about that, like, “I’m a good person inside?” And, you know, “I’m a leader in soccer,” and “I’m a good student!” That’s what it’s all about. And it’s almost like, “Who cares about the stupid shoes?” I mean, who cares!

Damaris: Yeah! [small laugh]

Mary: Wow. So “I’m a good person,” wow, despite all that. Huh! So. With pride and feeling good about ourselves, we can, um, just ignore those kinds of comments, huh?

Subtitle: SUMMARY

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Yeah? Mmm-hmm?

Damaris: I feel much better [small laugh].

Mary: You feel much better! Just sorta thinking, “That isn’t important, is it?” Yeah. We could also--what else could we do? What else could we do about that? Is that sort of thing--is that the sort of thing that should happen here at Fort River school? That kinda teasing?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

Damaris: No.

Mary: No, it’s really not. It’s not--it’s really a name-calling, it’s a teasing that really shouldn’t occur. It’s not part of our cul--code of conduct. So what do you think you could do? What--? You’re coming to me, but who else could--

Damaris: Um, I think--

Mary: --you speak to?

4

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Damaris: I could talk to my homeroom teacher about this.

Mary: You could talk to your homeroom teacher about this, too, because that sort of thing shouldn’t occur. People shouldn’t be teased for the way they--whatever clothes they wear. It doesn’t matter, does it?

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE/FEEDBACK

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: No, it’s who we are on the inside. And “I’m a good person on the inside.” So we could talk with your teacher and it seems to me, might need to do some talking to these kids that are doing the teasing so that they know that that is not the way to handle things here.

Damaris: Mmm.

Mary: You know?

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Any other thoughts on what we could do? ‘Cause you’re really in charge here. You’ve got lots of strengths, and those strengths are gonna take to this and--to this problem and--and make sure that it doesn’t continue to happen.

Subtitle: FEEDBACK/STRENGTH BOMBARDMENT

Damaris: I could talk to them by myself and tell them how I feel, and tell them that it doesn’t really matter.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: Maybe they’ll stop teasing me. But I don’t know if that will happen.

Mary: Mmm-hmm. Well, you could try it. If you need some more support, if that doesn’t work, then we are certainly here to help you. The teachers are here and the--and the counselors are here, because that really is an oppressive kinda comment to--to--to put somebody down for the shoes that they wear. That’s certainly not--something that we can do here and--and you have so many things to offer to the school and so many things to offer people that--that, um, that kinda thing doesn’t need to be happening. Yeah.

Damaris: What does “oppressive” mean?

Mary: Well, Damaris, “oppressive” means, you know, this is--this certainly isn’t your fault. This--the problem

is really their problem. It’s not your problem. It’s nothing wrong with your shoes; they’re perfectly fine and--and that someone’s being oppressed, it means they put the problem on you, and they’re making you feel bad.

Subtitle: INFORMATION-GIVING

And they shouldn’t make you feel bad for anything. You’ve got so many strengths and so many wonderful things happening. You know, they should not be doing anything like that. That’s oppression, that they’re putting you down for the shoes you wear or for the way you look. I mean, that would be--that’s oppression, and that should not happen. That’s against our code of conduct and---and the kinda thing that shouldn’t happen here at this school.

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: So. We want to make sure that that’s stopped. And--and, um, I don’t know, I think that, um, we should be talking to the girls, um. I don’t know if you should have to talk to ‘em about that. That’s something that’s really, um, you know, so inappropriate that I think that, uh, the teachers and I should be talking to, um, the girls that are doing that. And--and hope that we can educate them to know how it makes other people feel, and to know that that’s not allowed here at school.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: So I’m glad you came to talk to me about that, and--and I think it’s important for you just to continue focusing all--on all the good things that you’re doing, and all your strengths--

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Title: STRENGTH MAP DEMONSTRATION. BY DRAWING PICTURES OF POSITIVE STRENGTHS, MANY CHILDREN CAN CONCRETIZE THEIR ABILITIES.

Mary: You know what I’d like to do now? Just--let’s draw a strength-map of all of our strengths. You can just continue drawing here and using any of the colors you want to, or continue this. And you can tell me what you’re doing here and we’ll think about all the strengths and the things that you have that are positive.

Subtitle: DIRECTIVE

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: It looks like a face there, isn’t it? [small laugh]

Damaris: Yeah! [small laugh]

5

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Mary: Here you can just doodle and---

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: I like to dance.

Mary: You like to dance? Sure!

Subtitle: NOTE MARY’S EXTENSIVE USE OF ENCOURAGES AND RESTATEMENTS

Damaris: ... [leave it?] new jazz shoes.

Mary: Uh-huh. Those are some shoes, jazz shoes! Is that what you like? Is that the kind of dance that you like the best?

Damaris: Yeah, jazz.

Mary: Jazz. Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm. [small laugh] Over here, drawing this thing.

Mary: Oh, well, that’s okay. So dancing and jazz shoes are--I bet there may be even red, huh?

Damaris: Yeah! Well, they’re not red [small giggle]; they’re pink.

Mary: They’re pink. Oh, well, that’s our closest color, so we have pink, um, jazz shoes. And you like to dance, and you feel proud of your dancing and how you’re doing your dance?

Damaris: Mmm-hmm. I started when I was in second grade.

Mary: Oh, my goodness! You started in second grade!

Damaris: I--that was when I did ballet, but then I started to do jazz.

Mary: Wow.

Damaris: Mmm.

Mary: Those are great dancing shoes. Now, what other strengths can we think of that we can draw on our little strength map here?

Damaris: Um, I like sports.

Mary: Okay.

Damaris: Basketball.

Mary: Oh, you like basketball. You like a lot of sports. And that’s where you feel like you’re a leader, too, uh-huh?

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Play with the girls and the guys?

Damaris: Mm-hmm. Most of the time we have both.

Mary: Mmm-hmm. Play at recess and have a really good time. So there’s our basketball. We like that. And we like dancing.

Damaris: Oh, soccer!

Mary: Oh, soccer, sure! That’s similar to a basketball but just a little bit different. And during recess you feel like a leader out there when you’re doing soccer.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: And I bet those shoes work perfectly fine when you’re playing soccer, right?

Damaris: Yeah! [small laugh]

Mary: I bet those black shoes look just perfectly fine. So what if they’re not Nikes? Who needs Nikes? [small laugh]

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: What’s this right here?

Damaris: I’m trying to draw a soccer ball [small laugh].

Mary: Oh! Okay.

Damaris: Okay. Well, I need a double.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: [pause] [noise!]

Mary: Oh, okay! That’s--

Damaris: [small giggle]

Mary: --fine! That’s great. So that’s our soccer ball.

Damaris: [small giggle]

6

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Mary: Yeah, like the little--they have little lines in it and stuff.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Yeah. That’s great.

Damaris: ... ...

Mary: So we have our jazz shoes and basketball and soccer and--

Damaris: Mmm.

Mary: --boy, that’s a lot! Now what can we do to show you--you said you were such a good student. What can we do to show a good student here? Hmm. What would represent that? Reading and writing.

Damaris: A book.

Mary: A book!

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: You like books, huh?

Damaris: [whispers] Okay.

Mary: You like books? You like reading?

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Writing?

Damaris: I love reading.

Mary: Love reading. Great. Well, that’s a good book, too. Yeah, that’s great. Uh-huh.

Damaris: And a pencil to write with.

Mary: A pencil to do your writing. Like to write in your journal and--?

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: --in class, or write stories?

Damaris: Mmm-hmm. We have like assignments and--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: --we have--takes like a two week period to do a story for an assignment and stuff.

Mary: Right! Wow, maybe we should put that up to the camera and just show all the strengths Damaris has. Look at that. And who’s this beginning--who’s this right here?

Damaris: Oh, I just like to draw!

Mary: To draw faces and art--

Damaris: I like art.

Mary: --and so forth, so we have the--the, um--

Damaris: And my jazz shoes. And my soccer ball. Basketball. Writing and reading books.

Mary: That’s great! Oh, that’s wonderful! Gee, thanks for sharing. Look at all those strengths that you have, and that’s what we can bring to--to everything that we do in school

Title:

STAGE 5: ACTION

GENERALIZATION AND

TRANSFER OF LEARNING

Mary: Now, let’s go back. We’ve looked at all the strengths. Let’s go back to the concern that you came in with right from the beginning. How do you think we can put this all together, the strengths that you have and the concern that you came in with? What can you do?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

Damaris: Well, I think I should ignore them and, you know, and I should really focus on the things I like to do and not the things that other people say about me and, you know, so that will make me feel better.

Mary: Mmm-hmm. So you’re gonna focus on all these things right here that you like to do, that you’re--that are your strengths and that will make you feel a whole lot better.

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE/REFLECTION OF FEELING

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Okay.

Damaris: [small laugh]

7

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Title: MARY’S SCHOOL HAS A CODE OF CONDUCT THAT LAYS OUT SPECIFICS FOR WORKING WITH TEASING AND OTHER ISSUES OF HARRASSMENT.

Mary: Well, thanks so much for coming in and--and, um, we’ll check back on this and--and your teacher and I will work and talk with these girls that did, you know, said the things that they did and make sure that doesn’t happen. What would you like to have them do for you to, um, make this right, uh, between--between you? What would you like these girls to do to sort of rectify the situation?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

Damaris: Mmm, I wouldn’t--I don’t want them to tease me anymore.

Mary: Okay, so you want them--

Damaris: I want them--yeah, maybe, you know, stay in for a few recesses! [laugh]

Mary: Yeah, maybe they need to stay in for recess and maybe they need to, um, do an apology or something like that?

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE/OPEN QUESTION

Damaris: Yeah, have them write a letter.

Mary: Write a letter of apology! And that would make you feel better--

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: --about how things--and that it wasn’t gonna happen again. That it was gonna stop.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Okay. Well, that’s good. And I think that’s something we need to work with them on, too.

Damaris: Okay. Thanks.

Mary: Thanks. You’re so welcome. Nice talking to you, Damaris.

TITLE:

FUTURE WORK ON TEASING/HARRASSMENT NEEDS TO INCLUDE THOSE WHO VIOLATE STANDARDS OF CONDUCT.

TITLE:

COUNSELORS CAN HELP STUDENTS MORE EASILY IN SITUATIONS WHERE SCHOOL POLICIES

SUPPORT STUDENT RIGHTS OF NON-DISCRIMINATION

TITLE:

END OF THEY ARE TEASING ME ABOUT MY SHOES.

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Title

The Positive Asset Search:

Finding Strengths in the Relationship

Mary Bradford Ivey and Stuart Singer

Mary Introduction

Children often find themselves in relational difficulties with friends and family.

In this interview, Stuart is talking about the difficulties he is having with his older brother with whom he shares a room. The issue is sharing the same space and the arguments revolve around his brother teasing him and taking things.

This video shows the positive asset search. Resolution of conflict can often can be help if we seek positives in occasionally troubled relationships.

In this demonstration, I work with Stuart to help him remember the things he likes about his brother and the exceptions to the problem—specifically, what happens when things are going well?

Again, the focus here is on finding positives in problematic relationships. Recognizing strengths in oneself and in others can be most useful in working things through.

Subtitle: POSITIVE ASSET SEARCH

As you view this video, also take notice of how I work with less verbal children. In this demonstration, you will notice that Stuart has very short answers to even the most broad issue. With concrete children such as this, you will find that you have to talk more, but the listening skills remain important.

It is particularly helpful to restate or paraphrase the exact words used by the child. This seems to facilitate their discussion and continuity in the interview.

Title:

STUART PRESENTS DIFFICULTIES HE HAS WITH HIS BROTHER

Mary: Hi, Stuart. How’re you doing today?

Stuart: Hi. Um. Okay.

Mary: Okay. Not--doesn’t look like you’re too peppy, huh? Something happen you want to talk about?

Stuart: Mmm.

Mary: Looks like you said you wanted to see me, so I thought we’d get together.

Subtitle: OPEN INVITATION-QUESTIONS

Stuart: Oh, yeah. Well, it’s about, like, at home, with my brother.

Mary: Yeah. Now let’s see, your older--who’s at home? You’ve got, uh--

Stuart: I have an older brother--

Mary: Older brother.

Stuart: --he’s two years older than me.

Mary: Right.

Stuart: And a younger sister. She’s a year younger.

Mary: Okay. Year younger. So you’re in the middle.

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Okay. And, um, so what’s going on? With your older brother?

Stuart: Well, my brother and I share a room.

Mary: Uh-huh. Yeah.

Subtitle: RESTATEMENTS/PARAPHRASES

Stuart: And, well, lately he’s just generally been getting on my nerves because, like, we’ve been in the same space, like, all day when we’re in our room.

Mary: So the two of you share the same--same space, you’re together all the time.

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Yeah.

Stuart: And, uh, like, a couple days ago, um, he was taking my stuff from my room--

Title

MARY USES LISTENING SKILLS TO DRAW OUTSTUART’S CONCERN. THE ISSUES INCLUDE:

* TAKING THINGS WITHOUT ASKING* THE OLDER BROTHER TEASING HIM

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* COMMON SIBLING DIFFICULTIES

Title

Portion deleted —

Specifics of problem are outlined in more detail

TITLE:

MARY DRAWS OUT STUART’S STRENGTHS

Mary So, each of you have strengths. Your brother does. You do. I know your family. What sort of strengths--you know, sometimes we have problems like this. We get so into our problems, it’s hard to think about what’s good that’s happening. What’s good that’s going on in our life because we keep thinking about the things that are other problems. And the concerns.

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: So is there anything good happening to you? Anything going on that’s particularly--

Stuart: I--I’m in a play.

Mary: You’re in a play?

Stuart: Uh-huh.

Mary: Yeah. And you’re a good actor. You’d like to be in plays?

Stuart: Yeah.

Mary: Like to perform?

Stuart: Uh-huh. They’re fun.

Mary: And you smile and you have a lot of fun doing that.

Subtitle: Reflection of feeling

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: And you feel--how do you feel when you’re acting and performing?

Stuart: I feel good.

Mary: You feel--?

Stuart: It feels--it’s really fun.

Mary: It’s fun. So you’re having a good time. You’re having--

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: --a great time. You feel terrific.

Subtitle: Reflection of feeling

And, um, you’d like to feel that same way at home with your brother.

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: The same way you--the same kind of good feelings you have about yourself when you’re acting, you’d like to bring to your situation with your brother. Right.

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Subtitle: Positive Reframe/interpretation

Title

SEARCHING FOR STRENGTHS IN THE OTHER

“WHEN ARE THINGS GOING RIGHT?”

Mary: Yeah, okay. Okay, just a couple things. You know, what do you--is there anything you like about your brother? What do you like about your brother? What are his strengths?

Stuart: Well, he’s really--well, he’s--a lot of the times we’re really good friends and we do stuff together.

Mary: Oh, so you do stuff together and you’re really good friends.

Stuart: Yeah.

Mary: So there’s many times that you’re--

Stuart: Yeah.

Mary: --okay. What kind of stuff would you do together?

Stuart: Mmm. We ride our bikes to Amherst College where we play tennis on the courts there sometimes.

Mary: Hmm. Ride your bikes. Play tennis. Terrific.

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: So he’s a good playmate, or a friend.

Stuart: Yeah. He’s a good brother.

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Mary: Good brother. So he can do some really neat things.

Subtitle: RESTATEMENT

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: So we’ve talked really about your strengths and your brother’s strengths, and, let’s see, what are the things you’d like to together and you do together pretty well? You mentioned one thing was--

Stuart: Well, we play tennis and we ride bikes.

Mary: Tennis and riding bikes. Those are--

Stuart: And we go roller blading together.

Mary: And roller--roller blading. Three different things. And you do that pretty well without fighting, get along pretty well?

Stuart: Yeah.

Mary: Great. So, of all these good things that you do, what percentage of the time are things not going particularly well, would you say? I mean, the times when you’re in the bedroom and arguing about things. What percentage of the time would you say things are not going well?

Stuart: Probably only about like--like ten percent of the time.

Mary: Ten percent. So it’s, you know, it’s really--it’s not serious but it’s frustrating.

Subtitle: FOCUSING ON POSITIVE

Stuart: Yeah.

Mary: It’s kind of irritating just a little bit.

Stuart: [sigh]

Mary: But most of the time, ninety percent of the time, things are going pretty well between you--

Stuart: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: --and your brother.

Stuart: Yeah.

Mary: So the question then is, what do you need to do so you don’t end up getting grounded again? You and your brother? What do you need to do so that those

things don’t happen, so you don’t have these consequences?

Title:

WITH POSITIVES ABOUT BOTH, MARY CAN NOW TURN TO PROBLEM-SOLVING

END OF POSITIVE ASSET DEMONSTRATION

Title: FIVE-STAGE INTERVIEW

YOUNG CHILDREN AND FRIENDSHIP ISSUES

Mary Bradford Ivey and David Marx

David is a first grader and in this tape you will see how I work with younger children. I still use the microskills of listening, but you will note that I must use an even more active listening style to get out his story.

Children tend to give short and concrete statements. It helps to have a lot of energy if you want to keep the session moving. It almost helps if you are a bit of a “ham” or actor. Your per cent of talk time goes up when you work with less verbal children, but still be careful to focus on listening rather than on imposing your agenda.

In this tape you again will see the 5-stage interview, but notice that with younger children you can move through all the stages rather quickly. Keep most of your sessions with younger children short. They can return later for another conversation.

Title:

STAGE 1: RAPPORT/STRUCTURINGSEEK TO FIND POSITIVES, ESPECIALLY WITH YOUNG CHILDREN

Mary: Nice to see you. You got your UMass shirt on today, you’re ready to go! Ready to play some hoops? [small laugh] Gotta go home and practice? Yeah, you’re getting--I bet you’re just getting better and better. I think--I remember you starting when you were just a really little boy, isn’t that right?

David: Hmm.

Mary: Now you must be getting better and better. So how’s school going this year?

Subtitle: IT HELPS LESS VERBAL CHILDREN IFYOU TALK IN A FRIENDLY FASHION

David: Good.

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Mary: Good. What’s the best thing about school for you?

David: Uh, I like lunch, snack, and recess.

Mary: Lunch, snack, and recess, in that order, one, two, three. They’re all great, aren’t they? But I bet you’re a pretty good student, too, aren’t you? Yeah, oh, I’m sure you are. What do you like best about the school part, even though you do like lunch, snack, and recess best?

David: I like reading and writing.

Mary: Reading and writing. Writing stories and things?

David: Yeah.

Mary: Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, that’s great. Well, when I was in the classroom, you said that you were having some problems with a couple of your friends.

Subtitle: STRUCTURING

David: Yeah.

Title:

STAGE 2: GATHERING INFORMATION, DEFINING THE PROBLEM OR ISSUE

Mary: Yeah, maybe that--did you want to share something about what--what’s going on between you and--is it Jacob and Jeremy? Now what--what’s going on? What’s the story there?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

David: Well, they both called me up and asked me if I wanted to play, but Jacob is not really Jeremy’s friend.

Mary: Oh, so they both like you but Jacob and Jeremy don’t like each other.

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE

Oh, boy. And how’s that make you feel?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

David: Sort of mixed up.

Mary: Sort of mixed up. Kinda in the middle, ‘cause these are two nice boys and you like both of ‘em. Do you like both of ‘em?

Subtitle: ENCOURAGE, INTERPRETATION, OPEN QUESTION

David: Yeah.

Mary: Yeah, so they’re both friends--but they don’t like each other. Wow. So what happens when they call up? Say, Jeremy calls up and wants to play. Then what happens?

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE/OPEN QUESTION

David: Well, oh, then I go over, but then Jacob calls.

Mary: Then Jacob calls and he wants to play. Yeah. So you feel like you’re caught in the middle between these two kids that like you but don’t necessarily like each other.

Subtitle: SUMMARY

TITLE: DETERMINING OUTCOMES: WHAT DO YOU WANT HAVE HAPPEN?

WITH YOUNGSTERS, THIS CAN GO FAST!

Hmm! That’s a tough one. What would you like to have happen?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

David: Well, if I could--if they just liked each other.

Mary: You would really like it and it would be great if-- if Jacob and Jeremy liked each other. Right. It would make it easier--easier for you, right? You wouldn’t feel like you’re mixed up. Right?

Subtitle: SUMMARY

Title:

STAGE 4: EXPLORING ALTERNATIVES

Okay. Have you ever thought of what we could possibly do to make that happen? Ever thought of what you could possibly do?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION

David: Not really.

BRUCE, WATCH THIS ONE CAREFULLY... MARY SAYS “STOP A MINUTE....” DOES THAT NEED TO BE DELETED OR IS IT A NATURAL PART OF THE INTERVIEW????

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Mary: Not really. Got any ideas at all? If you were talking--stop a minute. Let’s think a little bit, David, about what we could possibly do about this, ‘cause I’m sure it makes you really feel mixed up and a little bit, um, torn apart between the two of them.

Subtitle: NOTE MARY’S USE OF DAVID’S FEELINGWORD “MIXED UP”

What--what do you--what comes to mind and--and you’d really like to have them get along. I heard you say that. What comes to mind as something we could possibly do to solve this? Have you ever thought of anything--?

Subtitle: OPEN QUESTION: MARY SEEKS TO HAVE DAVID COME UP WITH IDEAS

David: You could, like, play with one friend with--

Mary: Yeah.

David: --one day and you play with the other friend--with--the other day.

Mary: Okay. So you could do, ah, Jacob one day and Jeremy another day. Uh-huh. Maybe even--what could you say to them? What would you say to them?

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE/OPEN QUESTION

David: I could call ‘em up and tell ‘em, “I’ll play with you one day and then I’ll play with Jacob on the other day.”

Mary: Mmm-hmm. And you could even tell them honestly, you know, “Just ‘cause you don’t get along, we can’t seem to play with each other, so I’ll play with you, Jeremy, one day and Jacob another day.” Yeah. Could do that.

Subtitle: ADVICE/SUGGESTION

And then I’ve thought of another--have you got any other ideas, by the way?

David: No.

STAGE 5: GENERALIZATION:IT OFTEN HELPS TO BRING CHILDREN TOGETHER IN FRIENDSHIP GROUPS

Mary: That--that’s a pretty good idea. The other thing I thought of is maybe we could bring Jacob and Jeremy down to my room here and just simply talk about it and see why it is that here’s two boys that really like you

and that you can’t both get along, ‘cause that would make you a little bit happier if they could get along. So we could try that, too. Try a couple of things.

Subtitle: STRUCTURING/DIRECTIVE

Mary: Yeah. Okay. Okay. And you know what, David? I think if we have the three of you in here, we could play some games together and just see how it goes. And maybe we could work on things so that, um, you guys can learn to play together, or they can learn to play together. And you be part of it, um, and things could be better for all three of you. Does that sound okay?

David: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Well, let’s give that a try! Thanks so much, David. Good seeing you.

Title: END OF YOUNG CHILDREN AND FRIENDSHIP ISSUES

COMMUNITY GENOGRAM

Mary Bradford Ivey and Damaris Delgado

Mary Introduction

Let me tell you about Demaris. I selected her because she is bright and verbal. Developing the genogram takes about 7 minutes What I’m showing is the result of the genogram. The same process works with a child not as bright or verbal.

The Community Genogram helps us see clients in social context which really is their cultural background.

In this the case the emphasis is on family and church. This would be characteristic of many Puerto Rican clients, but not all. Demaris is focused on a nuclear single parent family. Other Puerto Rican families might be focused on the extended family with the Grandma being the important figure.

Many Puerto Rican and South American families are Catholic, but also many have joined evangelical Protestant groups. For some Puerto Rican children the history of colonization may be central. For others being Puerto Rican in a predominantly Puerto Rican community is the central issue. For others priests, nuns and the Roman Catholic church may provide important supports.

The Community Genogram helps us focus on both client individualism and their unique cultural background. Demaris is a cultural being but the Community

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Genogram helps us see her unique cultural background.

Regardless of issues Demaris or any client presents, understanding her cultural background and social support network can be helpful in conceptualizing counseling and treatment planning.

Title:

COMMUNITY GENOGRAM

Mary: Um, Damaris, you’ve heard me talk about the community genogram and I’d like to have you draw your community, however you see it or however you want to represent it. Some people put themselves in the center, some people draw maps, some people draw different pictures. So however you see your community and the people and the places that are important to you we’ll put on this map. Okay, we’ll sorta talk as we go along and however--however you’d like to sketch it out would be just fine. Damaris: Yeah, I put myself in the middle.

Mary: Okay. That’s Damaris.

Damaris: That’s me--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: --me here.

Mary: Uh-huh.

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: [pause] Okay. So that’s Damaris, with a big smile [small laugh].

Damaris: [small laugh]

Mary: Okay. And let’s see. Um.

Damaris: There is my family.

Mary: Oh, your family. Your family is very important. Would you like to share a little bit about your--about your family as you’re drawing?

Damaris: That’s my mom.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: I don’t live with my dad, but I live with my brother.

Mary: Okay. You live--

Damaris: And my twin sister.

Mary: You live with your mom and your brother and your twin sister.

Damaris: My mom.

Mary: Mmm-hmm. There’s mom.

Damaris: [small sound]

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: [small laugh] Okay.

Mary: That’s okay.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm. Um. My brother.

Mary: And your brother. Now, is he older than you? Or younger?

Damaris: Yeah, he’s in college.

Mary: Oh, he’s in college. Uh-huh.

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: So you’ve got an older brother in college. Is he going to UMass?

Damaris: Yup!

Mary: Oh. Mmm-hmm. And you are very fortunate to have a twin sister, too!

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Uh-huh. In the same grade In the same class, too, right?

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Have you always been together in the same class?

Damaris: Oh, no. Sometimes we go off and on. Sometimes we request it. And sometimes--

Mary: Mmm-hmm. Which do you prefer? With your sister? Or--? Separate?

Damaris: Well, after I tried doing it w--without my sister, I kinda liked it ‘cause I got to get my own friends and everything.

Mary: Uh-huh.

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Damaris: But, you know, I--I keep going off and on. I like both.

Mary: Yeah. It’s nice. Nice to be with the sister and nice to meet new friends, too.

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: So here’s the community. Here’s your family, which is very important.

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: Great!

Damaris: Then, I like--I go to jazz--

Mary: Okay.

Damaris: --class.

Mary: Jazz class. Dancing.

Damaris: Yeah. Dancing.

Mary: Okay.

Damaris: [soft voice, as if speaking to herself] Jot it down. So.

Mary: ... you draw a little line here to--this is the building for--

Damaris: This, um, New England Dance Quarters.

Mary: Oh, I see. This is where you do your jazz. Great.

Damaris: The studio’s in there, and there’s ...

Mary: Mmm-hmm. So this is where you do dancing?

Damaris: Mmm-hmm!

Mary: And that’s important. [No problem?]

Damaris: Then I like to do sports.

Mary: Ooh, you like to do sports. Yes, I hear that [small laugh]. What kinda sports are we gonna represent here?

Damaris: Basketball.

Mary: Basketball. Great.

Damaris: Right.

Mary: Mmm-hmm. And you also like soccer, too.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: But that’ll represent both [small laugh].

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: And that’s fine. That’s great for sports. And the other--

Damaris: That’s pretty.

Mary: And the other things that are important to you?

Damaris: Um, I go to church.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: Every Sunday.

Mary: Yup. You go to church every Sunday.

Damaris: So it’s ... a meeting hall.

Mary: Yup. So you can maybe draw a picture of that. Okay. Looks like a good church there. Great! And anything else to complete the picture?

Damaris: School.

Mary: School! [laugh] You do go to school? You do go to school here! So we’re going to complete the circle and--

Damaris: [small sound]

Mary: Mmm-hmm. That’s great. It’s a big, long building. You’re right. Well, that’s great. I think we should just show this to the camera here like this and you can tell--tell us about your world and about your community.

Damaris: This is my church that I go to. Then this is ... sports, basketball. Then this is the New England Dance Quarters where I dance. My family, my brother, my mom and my sister. And this is the school. This is me. This is me.

Title:

USING THE COMMUNITY GENOGRAM TO

DRAW OUT CLIENT STORIES

Mary: Okay. Okay, gee that’s a wonderful, um, community genogram that you’ve drawn. Would you

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like to tell me a story? You can start in the circle anyplace here. Tell me a story about, uh, wherever you’d like to start. Start with your family if you--wherever you’d like to start. And tell me a story about each one of these pictures that you’ve drawn.

Mary: School? Okay. Would you like to tell a story, a little bit about, uh, school and, uh, something that you like to share?

Damaris: Um--

Mary: Or a particular time you felt good about yourself there or did something well?

Damaris: Well, yeah, I just started sixth grade.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: And, you know, I’ve been doing really, really--just took a math test--

Mary: Uh-huh.

Damaris: --yeah, a couple of weeks ago. And I did really well on that. And it--

Mary: Great.

Damaris: I got 95 percent, I think, which is--

Mary: Which is very good!

Damaris: “A.” [small laugh]

Mary: Practically perfect. An “A.” So you felt very good about--

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: --school and getting 95 percent on math. That’s terrific!

Damaris: And I just met a new girl.

Mary: Oh, you met a new--?

Damaris: So, she’s my friend, now.

Mary: So you met a brand new girl and she’s your friend? So two wonderful things happened at Fort River.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: That’s fine. Now, you want to tell another little story? Taken another part here?

Damaris: Okay.

Mary: Would you like to?

Damaris: This is my family, yeah.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: And, well, we do like a--we just went on a picnic.

Mary: Ah! [small laugh]

Damaris: And so--

Mary: Maybe that’s why you’re all smiley there.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm!

Mary: [small laugh]

Damaris: Yeah, we do a lot of things together. Um, we go to church together, have a lot of fun, you know.

Mary: So you--

Damaris: Busy things.Mary: --really like to do things, in particular going--

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: --doing--picnic and a church--going to church together. You have a good time. And there’s smiles on everybody’s faces. And then up here?

Damaris: That’s jazz class... ...

Mary: Yup.

Damaris: Um, well, this is New England Dance Quarters where I do jazz and--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: --do, like, splits and stuff. And I got, like, three certificates on different kinds of splits.

Mary: Oh, my goodness!

Damaris: So--

Mary: So you were able to do splits like nobody can, and you even--

Damaris: [small giggle]

Mary: --get certificates on splits!

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Damaris: Yeah. [small laugh]

Mary: Wow! That’s terrific! And what about here?

Damaris: And bas--I just made the basketball team.

Mary: And you made the basketball team. Oh, my goodness, all kinds of wonderful things are happening.

Damaris: [giggle]

Mary: So sports is terrific--

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: --for you, too!

Damaris: And then church.Mary: Uh-huh.

Damaris: Well, um, when I--I go out with my mom--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: --sometimes, you--to preach--

Mary: Uh-huh.

Damaris: --and so, you know, that’s fun ‘cause, um, when I went out with who we just met, some woman, and my mom, she’s going to have a Bible study with her.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: So--and sometimes I get to go with her, so that’s pretty--

Mary: That’s pretty nice. You get to go with your mom and you can do bible study with other people. Well, those are some wonderful stories. Thanks so much for sharing.

Damaris: [small giggle/laugh]

Title

Locating positive images as resources

Mary: Um. I’d like to do now, is maybe get an image and sort of anchor some of these wonderful feelings in your body. Let’s, uh, maybe we could take an image first, um, from your family. When you close your eyes and you think about your family, what, uh, image comes to mind and then we’ll talk about that just a little

bit. Maybe you can close your eyes a minute and think about your family and some special image that might come to mind as you think about them.

Damaris: Um. Funny. [laugh] My brother. He’s really--[laugh]--my brother, he--’cause, um, he’s, you know, he’s gonna move out soon so that’s sad, but--

Mary: Oh. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: --it’s really--[laugh]--he’s so funny! But, you know, he’s like, uh, like a clown, kind of.

Mary: Like a clown.

Damaris: Clown’s fun. And, you know, my mom’s just started, um, teaching in her school.

Mary: Oh, wow!

Damaris: So.

Mary: So what comes to mind as you see your brother and you see your brother--Damaris: You know.

Mary: --laughing and--

Damaris: Telling jokes! [laugh]

Mary: --telling jokes. Behind that is a little touch of sadness as you think about him leaving, because he has so much to share with--with the family.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Yeah. And you--also, your mother comes to mind, too, when you close your eyes.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: And you think about her--

Damaris: We have a close relationship.

Mary: --you have a close relationship with mom. And you sound like you’re very proud of her and her teaching.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: And the career that she’s chosen. Well, that’s wonderful. Where do you--when you think--when that image comes to mind, where do you feel it in your body? Any special feelings that you have when you think of your family, is there a special place in your body that you feel warm?

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Damaris: Mmm, my heart.

Mary: In your heart, okay! [small laugh] So, you know, when--when things are not going so well, when we have things that don’t turn out the way we want to, you can always think about your family and remember that they’re here in your heart and that you have your mom with you and your brother laughing, and I’m sure your sister’s with you, too.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: So they’re all sort of-

Damaris: I’m glad to have them.

Mary: --you’re glad to have ‘em, and they’re all sort of with you wherever you go.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.Mary: Thanks. That’s great. And now let’s take a look at, um, if you don’t mind, we’ll go over to the church and--and think of--maybe close your eyes and--and, um, think of it--get an image in your mind. The church. And maybe you can think like this--what do you see as you close your eyes? Maybe you can describe what you see.

Damaris: Very homey.

Mary: Homey.

Damaris: A lot of people, you know, that I know, they’re always there for me.

Mary: Okay, so when you think about your church, you close your eyes and you see a lot of people that you know, it’s homey, it feels comfortable.

Damaris: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: And they’re there for you, if you need them. That feels good. Do you remember one specific thing that comes to mind at all when you think about the church?

Damaris: Well, yeah! [small laugh] There’s one time [small laugh] when I was, uh, um, having an argument with my sister, so, you know, the elders there, they’re always, you know, there for me and so I can just go to them and they always cheer me up and they always figure things out for me, and--

Mary: Oh, so--so that when you have an argument with your sister--

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: --that you can go and talk to somebody else, even outside your family. But it’s really sort of part of your family--

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: --it sounds like, at your church, is--and--and you can go to the elders and talk with them. And--and work it out. Get some ideas on how to work with your sister a little bit better.

Damaris: Yeah, every time I think of the church, I think of crowded and all these people and, like, everywhere I go, people are saying, “Hi, Damaris,” I know everyone. It’s just a nice feeling.

Mary: Oh! Nice feeling. So you go there, and it’s crowded, there’s lots of people, but they know you and they know your name and they say, “Hi, Damaris, good to see you.” And so that gives you--and where do you feel that feeling, um, from the church? Where do you feel that in your body?

Damaris: Everywhere! I just feel happy!

Mary: Everywhere. It makes you feel happy.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: So that’s another strength and resource you can bring with you. All the time. You can think, “Well, my church is with me. All the people in my church are with me. So if I have problems in school or somebody comes up and I--someone’s teasing me or I’m not getting along too well, I have my family with me,” and you can think about all those wonderful family people. And you also have your church with you all the time. And--and you feel your family in your heart and all through your body you feel the church, and all the peoples in the church, uh, supporting you and surrounding you with love and [small laugh]--

Damaris: [laugh]

Mary: --caring and so forth. So. That was really nice and I really appreciate it, and thank you for sharing, um--

Allen: ... how it was.

Title

DEBRIEFING THE COMMUNITY GENOGRAM

Mary: How did that feel for you, to talk about that?

Damaris: That felt good.

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Mary: It felt good?

Damaris: ... right on paper and ... how it felt.

Mary: Yeah. And how do you think that might work to think about and--these wonderful resources that you have, so whenever there’s problems or anything that’s difficult--and sometimes there are difficulties and problems [small laugh], you know, with kids. Sometimes they can tease.

Damaris: Yeah.

Mary: Different things. That you have your family with you. You have all this with you.

Damaris: Yeah. Mmm.

Mary: But we focused primarily on the family and the church. That they’re with you.

Damaris: Helps me to appreciate the things that I have.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: And that you know how good--I have my family with me--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Damaris: --and my church.

Mary: As you’ve seen, my focus on the community genogram emphasizes the positives and a search for support systems. Needless to say, not all children have as many support systems as Damaris has. But I can usually find substantial strengths and support for each child. Also we begin to realize each child is a person in community. We have seen very clearly how the self exists in relationship to others.

END: COMMUNITY GENOGRAM

THE FAMILY TREE AND FAMILY STRENGTHS

Mary Bradford Ivey and Jessica Burke

Children live in a family context. Long ago, I discovered that individual counseling outside of family understanding is most limited. If we are to understand children, it truly helps to understand their family situation.

The family tree illustrated in this tape is a highly useful strategy to learn about the child in context. In this tape you will see how I focus on family positive stories as potential support for children’s concerns and problems.

Now, not all children come from supportive families. With such children, I still seek to find family strengths and “good moments.” And, I encourage searching in the family tree and beyond for extended family, and even those outside the family who offered something positive for the child.

The concept of family can be defined in many ways and the informal structure of the family tree or some related drawing will enable the generation of examples and stories of potential supports for the child.

Title:

THE FAMILY TREE AND FAMILY STRENGTHS

Mary: Jessie, I thought I--you know, I brought this, uh, pad here, uh, paper and some magic markers. I thought it’d be kind of fun to--to draw a family tree so we’d know something about our family and how our family helps us feel good about ourselves and we learn strengths from our family. So, you know, as I was telling you, we could maybe just draw a tree here that we could take a look at. Your family tree.

Jessie: Okay.

Mary: And however you want to draw it, is fine with me. Kids draw trees in different ways, so however--

Jessie: Okay.

Mary: --you conceive of your family tree, we’ll talk about it as you go along. [pause] So that’s me. That’s you.

Jessie: Mmm-hmm. [tiny giggle]

Mary: In blue, just like you have blue on, here! And--[pause]--so, okay, and there’s dad over there. [pause] And there’s mom over here. [pause] Great. And then you have, um, you have both your grandparents alive on your dad’s side?

Jessie: Uh-huh.

Mary: Great! Do they live very far away from here? Or--?

Jessie: They live in Florida.

Mary: They live in Florida. Uh-huh. Do you go visit them sometimes?

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Jessie: Yeah. Every summer.

Mary: Mmm-hmm. Every summer. I bet you have some special memories of visits to grandpa and grandma, huh?

Jessie: Yeah.

Mary: Yeah. Do you swim in the ocean?

Jessie: Um, well, they have, um--

Mary: Or a pool! [small laugh]

Jessie: They--they have, yeah, they live in a retirement community, and they have a pool there.

Mary: Oh, I see. I bet they’re happy to see you. And you have brothers and sisters?

Jessie: Yeah, I have one sister.

Mary: One sister. Well, this is a tree, and we’ll just put you on it with your mom and dad and grandpa and grandma on dad’s side, and this is grandpa and grandma from Florida. And on your mom’s side do you have--are your grandparents still alive?

Jessie: Yup!

Mary: Mmm-hmm. And where do they live?

Jessie: Um, they live in Northampton.

Mary: Oh, they live very close, then.

Jessie: Yeah. But, and in the summer they go to, um, I mean, in the winter they go to Florida.

Mary: Oh! Do they know each other down in Florida, the grandpas and the grandmas?

Jessie: Um, well, they don’t live very close but, like, sometimes when we go down, they meet up with each other.

Mary: So then everybody gets together.

Jessie: Yeah.

Mary: Wow. So here’s grandpa and grandma right close to you in Northampton, but they go to Florida in the winter. And then grandpa and grandma on the other side are living down in Florida all the time.

Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: So you have lots of connections to Florida, it sounds like.

Jessie: Yup. Uh! [pause]

Mary: And you really like you to have all your grandparents around and you’re able to see them? That’s great. And then you said you wanted to write about your great-grandparents, too! Jessie: Uh-huh.

Mary: Cause I bet some special things happened there.

Jessie: But only my, um, oh, none of my great-grandparents are alive, now.

Mary: None of ‘em are alive. Mmm-hmm. Did you ever know them at all or--?

Jessie: Um, my great-grandmother on my mom’s side--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: --who was my grandpa’s mother--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: --um, she died when I was in first grade.

Mary: I see.

Jessie: So I knew here.

Mary: So you did know her.Jessie: Yeah.

Mary: Mmm-hmm. Great. Great. So put the grandparents up--put the great-grandparents up here. [pause] We can just abbreviate, too.

Jessie: Okay.

Mary: “GG” or something [small laugh] like a great-grandparent or great-grandma. [small laugh] Great Grandma. Or maybe have a da--I don’t know if you had special names for them or not, but--

Jessie: No. [small laugh]

Mary: --that’s one! Okay. And let’s see. Then you go over, yeah, that’s right. The tree gets bigger and bigger, doesn’t it?

Jessie: Yeah.

Mary: Yeah. That’s fun. Do your family talk about your--the grandparents and--?

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Jessie: Um, well--

Mary: Share special stories sometimes?

Jessie: My great-grandpa lived with--

Mary: Which great-grandpa on the side--which side? The dad’s side or the mom’s side? The grand--?

Jessie: Dad’s side--

Mary: Dad’s side. So the great--

Jessie: --this great-grandpa.

Mary: This great grandpa, over here!

Jessie: Yeah.

Mary: We’re talking about right here.

Jessie: Yeah.

Mary: Okay. So that’s on--

Jessie: That one.

Mary: --my--grandma’s side, with the great-grandpa here.

Jessie: Uh-huh. He, um, lived with Babe Ruth for two years.

Mary: Oh, my goodness! Wow. Isn’t that exciting, huh?

Jessie: Yeah.

Title:

SEEK TO DRAW OUT STORIES ABOUT THE

FAMILY TREE. HERE IS JUST ONE EXAMPLE.

Mary: Do you have some stories about that?

Jessie: Um--

Mary: Family stories that they talk about?

Jessie: --well, um, well, there’s one story that, um, one time when Babe Ruth was playing--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: --um, my great-grandfa--my great-grandpa, like, was, like, um, booing for the New York Yankees ‘cause he was from Boston.

Mary: [small laugh/exhalation]

Jessie: But even though Babe Ruth was on the New York Yankees, he was still booing for them because he, like, liked the Boston Red Sox.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: And then, um, and all the crowd was like being really mean to my great-grandpa. And Babe Ruth came out of the dugout and goes, “Everybody be quiet and leave him alone!”

Mary: Oh, my goodness! What a story! Oh, that’s fantastic! [laugh] Told them to--wow. So they were, you know, he really--even though he was booing for--he--he was really a Red Sox fan, then, wasn’t he?

Jessie: Yup.

Mary: And he was booing for the Yankees and--and Babe Ruth, too. And everybody said, “Be quiet.” He even--Babe Ruth got the whole crowd there to quiet down--

Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: He sort of stood up for your dad in a w--for your, uh, great-grandpa in a way, then, too, didn’t he?

Jessie: Uh-huh.

Mary: Stood up for him and said, “That’s right, he has a right to--he has a right to boo if he wants to. He can be a Red Sox fan, even though we’re good friends.” And so he got the whole crowd to stop. Wow. What kind of feelings do you think, um, people had about that?

Jessie: Um.

Mary: How do you think people felt about that in the family?

Jessie: Well, they probably felt like really good that Babe Ruth, like, since he knew somebody in the family that he, um, he was, like, um, like really nice to them and still knew ‘em and stood up for them.

Mary: Right. So some of that--I think that sounds like there’s some pride in the fact that--

Jessie: Yeah.

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Mary: --that, uh, Babe Ruth--Ruth was someone that your family knew and--and great-gran--uh, great-grandpa knew and--and, um, some pride that he would stand up for your family.

Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Title:

POSITIVE FAMILY STORIES CAN BECOME INTERNALIZED PERSONAL STRENGTHS THROUGH VISUALIZATION

Mary: Gosh. Now, if you could close your eyes and think about, um, just even imagine that picture, that scene or--or just imagine a scene where--where, um, you know, there’s a family pride in--or someone stood up for you, someone else who’s very important stood up for you. Um. And you--can you get a visual image in your mind if you close your eyes? Can you think about, um, what it might look like, you know? Here’s someone very, very important standing up for you and how it might feel to have someone like Babe Ruth, who’s very famous--?

Jessie: It would probably feel, like, really nice and, like, you feel special.

Mary: You’d feel nice and feel special. Where did--in your body, where do you feel sort of nice and special when you think about that, when you have that visual image?

Jessie: Right here.

Mary: Right here in your heart, that there’s someone, uh, nice and special out there that makes you, um, that’s standing up for your family.

Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Now, that’s sort of a resource for you! That’s something--a strength that you can draw on. You can think about when things get tough and you’re having a hard time with friends or something’s happening, you can always think, “Gosh, I’ve got someone in my family-- there’s--there’s someone famous who stood up for my family and I’m proud of them, and our family’s proud of them. And it makes me feel good. It makes me feel nice. And I feel it right here in my heart.”

Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Think that’s something you can draw on?

Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Yeah. Yeah. This is a wonderful story and a wonderful family tree. And I thank you for sharing that.

Title

SHARING THE PICTURE OF THE FAMILY TREE

Mary: See, why don’t you tell me just a little bit more about this family tree here?

Jessie: Well, um, this is me and then that’s my dad.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: And then my dad has two parents. Um. Uh. Priscilla--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: --Burke--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: --and, um, mmh!

Mary: Hard to remember.

Jessie: Oh, oh, Robert--

Mary: Oh, uh-huh.

Jessie: --Burke. And then, um, I’m not quite sure of my great-grandparent’s names. And then--

Mary: And here’s the one the story that you told about, is grandpa.

Jessie: Yeah.

Mary: And he had--he was a good friend of--

Jessie: No, great-grandpa. ...

Mary: His--his father was a great--

Jessie: Yeah.

Mary: --and--and through the generations, you’ve told this story--

Jessie: Yeah

Mary: --about the Babe Ruth story.

Jessie: Uh-huh!

Mary: That’s terrific. And then your mom’s side--

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Jessie: And that’s my mom.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: And then that’s, um, um, Dennis Walsh--

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: --and then that’s Lillian Walsh.

Mary: Mmm-hmm.

Jessie: And those are two parents.

Mary: Oh, their parents.

Jessie: Their parents.

Mary: So that’s a great tree.Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: And if you had to slip your sister in--I was thinking about her--where would we put your sister?

Jessie: Oh!

Mary: [laugh] We forgot about the sister! [laugh]

Jessie: Um.

Mary: You’ll probably have to put her down here, huh?

Jessie: Yeah. My sister would probably be--

Mary: Well, right next to you.

Jessie: --well, with me. Yeah, next to me.

Mary: Right next to you. Is she younger or older?

Jessie: Older.

Mary: Older. Yeah. Okay. Well, that’s great. Thanks so much for sharing your family tree! I hope we can learn to get lots of strengths from, um, from our family and from our family stories.

Mary: What did you like the most that we talked about?

Jessie: Oh! Um. Well, I really liked that, um, my grandpa was friends with Babe Ruth.

Mary: You really liked that grandpa was friends with Babe Ruth.

Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Yeah, that’s pretty special. ‘Cause you like athletics and sports, too, and it’s nice to know that in your family, uh, you had a great-grandpa who was friends of a very famous sports person.

Jessie: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: The most famous in our history. Thanks for sharing, Jessica. That’s great.

Title:

END: THE FAMILY TREE AND FAMILY STRENGTHS

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Title:

RESTORYING DREAMS

Title:

Mary Bradford Ivey and David Marx

Mary: Many young children have bad dreams and sometimes they reoccur again and again. I happened upon a simple technique that often is helpful. It tends to work best early primary children—kindergarten, first, and second graders. These children often use magic thinking and that is important in this approach to dreams.

In this demonstration, David has made up a dream, but I think the demonstration is fairly close to what might actually happen.

As you view this demonstration, note how important paraphrasing, restatement, and encouragers are. Many young children don’t talk all that much. Repeating what they say becomes all the more important for effective communication. Also, note that with young children, you have to have lots of energy to keep things going. Don’t be afraid to talk!

TITLE:

RESTORYING DREAMS

Mary: Okay! David, I’m so happy to see you today! Wow, I love that UMass shirt. Are you still watching those UMass games?

Subtitle: RAPPORT BUILDING

David: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Do you go every wee--every day--every--well, they haven’t started yet, but pretty soon you’re going to be going to all the games, aren’t you, with dad?

Subtitle: RAPPORT BUILDING

David: Yeah, but not the ones that--

Mary: Not the ones out of town. But you like basketball, don’t you? And that’s a great shirt! You’re a big UMass fan. Do you still like to shoot the hoops yourself?

David: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: And you’re good at that, too, aren’t you? Oh, I know you are. What about--what else is happening good in your life? What else is going well?

Subtitle: POSITIVE ASSET SEARCH

David: I like school.

Mary: You like school! Oh! What do you like best about school?

David: Uh. I like snack and lunch and stuff.

Mary: Oooh!

David: And recess.

Mary: Oh, yes. Do you have a good snack every day?

David: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: And good lunch. And recess. What do you do at recess?

David: We play on the structure ... and stuff.

Mary: Oh, is that your favorite thing to do at recess?

David: Yeah.

Mary: Yeah, gee, you’ve got a lot of things of going for you like basketball. You like recess and snack and lunch. And you like, you know, and you’re a good student. Boy, lots of things going well.

Subtitle: SUMMARY

So. And then I heard today, um, your teacher mentioned that, uh, and your mom called too and said that you had had a bad dream that was kinda keeping you awake at nights and making it hard to concentrate on school. And I thought maybe that’s--you might want to share something that, um, happened or--or some dream that you had that you was bothering you a bit?

Subtitle: STRUCTURING, OPEN QUESTION

David: Well, like, um, on this video that I saw, this girl sunk into the bed and I was scared.

Mary: Okay, so you saw a video and she sort of--what did she do? She--?

David: She, like, she, like, felt like--ate the bed--the bed, like, ate her.

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Mary: The bed ate her. She sunk down in the bed and it just ate her right up. Wow. That was pretty scary, huh?

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE/REFLECTION OF FEELING

And, um, and do--you thought--and you had a dream about that, too? About the video?

David: Uh-huh.

Mary: Uh-huh. Yeah. And it made you think about--what did it make you--how did it make you feel?

David: Scared.

Mary: Just scared! Did you ever think when you’re in bed that that might happen to you too? [small laugh] Or something? Uh, the bed might just eat you right up or something like that?

Well, you and I talked about, David, before is sometimes we talk about our dreams and the way to get rid of our dreams that I find a real helpful thing to do is just simply take a piece of paper and--and maybe you can draw a picture. I’ve got those good smelly Magic Markers here. Maybe you can just draw a picture of what it looks like, that bad--and how that little girl sinking down on the bed.

Subtitle: DIRECTIVE

Was it a girl or a boy?

David: A girl.

Mary: It was a girl. And she was sinking down in the bed and, you know, what it looks like to you in your mind.

Subtitle: PARAPHRASE

And then we’ll have a special way to get rid of that dream. Okay?

David: Okay.

Mary: Let’s see if you can draw a picture here. Can you imagine what colors it might have been?

David: What?

Mary: Of the dream. What--what the girl--

David: Yeah.

Mary: --yeah. Okay. Okay, have I got the right colors?

David: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Good.

David: Got the picture.

Mary: Mmm-hmm. You’re a left-handed person, just like me!

Title:

NOTE MARY’S USE OF ENCOURAGES, RESTATEMENTS, AND QUESTIONS AS DAVID DRAWS

David: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Mmm-hmm! You like drawing, too? Besides--I bet. All of the things that happen in school. [drawing sounds] So this is, um, sort of yellow bedspread or something?

David: Yeah.

Mary: Was it a yellow bedspread? Uh-huh. And that’s the girl. She’s got her hair--

David: Yeah.

Mary: --maybe even she’s got yellow hair. Huh? [small laugh]

David: She does. And she has yellow clothes on.

Mary: And she has yellow clothes on. Uh-huh, that’s how you saw it. And then kinda--what did you imagine in your mind?

David: What do you mean?

Mary: Hmm?

David: What do you mean?

Mary: Well, if you--you know, she was in the bed and all of a sudden what happened? How could you draw that?

David: Like, she just like slipped it.

Mary: She just fell down in the bed. Mmm-hmm.

David: Yeah.

Mary: Anything else that you need to add to your drawing? Here? To make it a little bit--to show her slipping down? Or is that--?

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Subtitle: “ANYTHING ELSE” IMPORTANT QUESTION

David: Um.

Mary: Let’s see.

David: I could make little cracks.

Mary: Okay. Good idea. [drawing sounds] Wonder where she fell.

David: I--I won--I wondered that, too.

Mary: You wondered that, too. Where did she go? If the bed kinda came in like that, where did she go? I wonder if she sank right down on the bed or maybe the floor? We don’t even know, huh? Yeah. Okay, is that the way it looks like in your mind?

David: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Great. Okay, this is what we’re gonna do. We’re going to take this--this is my magical way of getting rid of the bad dreams, these scary bad dreams. Is to take up the scissors and just cut it up in little pieces. Just take--cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

Subtitle: DIRECTIVE

I only have a right-handed scissors. Think you’re going to be able to use that?

David: Yeah, I guess.

Mary: You guess? Oh, okay! [small laugh] We’re going to cut it right in half there so it won’t be on your--you won’t be thinking about it and you won’t be scared by it. [cutting sounds] And we can cut it right through the center, too. You don’t have to cut it out. You can cut it through the center. You know what I mean?

David: What do you mean?

Mary: Well, actually, we want to get rid of it. So ... cut it up. We can cut it through the center so it’s going to go away. Let’s just cut it right up. Yup, we’re cuttin’ it up! It’s gonna be gone in just a little bit. In fact, you can even do some tearing if you--sometimes I have kids do tearing if it’s hard to cut with those scissors. Cut into little bitty pieces. Maybe you want to cut this one so it’s not gonna--[cutting sounds]--right?

David: Okay.

Mary: Great. Now, let’s cut that up into [little bitty?] ... pieces and that means it’s gonna go away! Can’t you just see? It’s just gone! Now, boy, you’ve got little bit--

bitty pieces. That won’t be bothering you any more! Look at all those little pieces. Wow! You’re a good cutter, too, aren’t you?

David: Should I cut this piece?

Mary: Oh, sure, cut that up too. And then, we’re going to--there we go! Great! [more sounds] Good. Very good, David. Now I’ve got a trash can right here below your legs. We’re just going to dump it right in the trash can. Whishtt! Away goes that dream? You like that? Just like magic, huh? Now, what I’d like to do is maybe check with you, um, in the next few days, next couple of days and see if the dream just is totally gone. I bet by the end of the week--I--I bet it won’t even be there tomorrow. But you let me know. You--we’ll get together. I’ll stop and see you and we’ll see, “Is that dream back?” And my guess is you’re gonna say, “Nope, it’s gone. We--we cut it all up. Threw it away! Yup!” But I’ll check to make sure. Okay?

David: Mmm-hmm.

Mary: Thanks for coming in, David. Nice to talk to you.

MARY SPEAKS AGAIN

Often first or second graders will work just as fast as David. It doesn’t take a long time. Surprisingly many - not all - children will stop the repeating dream. The strategy seems to give them some sense of control.

I also think using art, clay, or other objects in the interview makes it easier for children in the interview. Just talking often doesn’t seem enough, particularly when they use short sentences such as David did in this demonstration.

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END: RESTORYING DREAMS

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PRODUCTION

BRUCE OLDERSHAW

© 1999 Mary Bradford Ivey Microtraining AssociatesBox 9641North Amherst, MA 01059-09641

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Page 27: COUNSELING CHILDREN: A MICROSKILLS APPROACH (Transcript ... · COUNSELING CHILDREN: A MICROSKILLS APPROACH (Transcript and Handout) by Mary Bradford Ivey, Ed.D., N.C.C., L.M.H.C

Community GenogramThe Community Genogram, DCT, and Positive Narratives of Strength (By Allen Ivey, Copyright 1999, Permission to duplicate for student use granted.)

The community genogram has become an important part of Microskill and Developmental Counseling and Therapy training. It provides a warm and authentic, yet systematic, way to understand client strengths from family and culture.

First clients develop a visual representation of their community, most often the community of origin. The community may be drawn in varying manners—from abstract circles or symbols to literal maps. Each person pictures their key groups—family, friends, school, church, and significant others. The visual summary of client cultural and spiritual history is posted throughout the interviewing series.

Although individual concerns often arise in community, first we need to focus on strengths. We can later use these strengths to work on issues. The specifics of the community positive asset search follow:

1. “Could you tell me a positive story from your community genogram?” Draw out the story via the microskills basic listening sequence (BLS). Narratives of community are endlessly fascinating in individual therapy, groupwork, and as classroom exercises.

2. Sensorimotor narrative: “What positive image representing that story comes to mind? What are you seeing, hearing, feeling?” Develop a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic representation of the positive story. Quietly, allow the image to build and note the positive bodily feelings that occur. These anchored body experiences are positive strengths that can be drawn on to help clients deal with difficult issues in therapy and in life.

3. Concrete narrative: “Could you tell me another positive story about your community? Be as concrete and specific as possible.” Ask the client to tell the concrete story of the image in more detail—or ask for another story from the community. Search for concreteness and specificity via the BLS.

4. Formal operational/reflective narrative: “How do these positive stories and images represent a pattern in your present life? How could you draw these strengths to deal with current issues?” These reflective questions seek to help clients generalize from the past to resolve their concerns through known strengths.

5. Dialectic/systemic narrative: “As you reflect back on your community genogram as a whole, how do these systems (family, church, culture) affect your development? How are you part of a living community? How have you been changed by history and how will you change history?” These reflective questions lead clients to think about the self-in-relation. The positive stories and images provide a basis for action— “Given all this, what stands out for you and what are you going to do about it?

You will find video examples of the community genogram in action in the Microtraining videos Counseling Children: A Microskills Approach and Psychotherapy as Liberation. The textbooks Intentional Interviewing and Counseling: Facilitating Development in a Multicultural Society and Counseling and Psychotherapy: A Multicultural Perspective provide additional written information on the community genogram. A book is forthcoming.

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