counselling guidelines for parents
DESCRIPTION
COUNSELLING GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS. “ a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the wrong will spoil character” Baba. WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION Adolescence . The age span of 10-19 years in the life of a human being…… Youth The age span of 15-24 - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
COUNSELLINGGUIDELINESFOR PARENTS
“a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the
wrong will spoil character” Baba
WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATIONAdolescence. The age span of 10-19 years in the life
of a human being…… Youth The age span of 15-24 in the life of a human being…..
Identity Crisis
Adult?? Child? ? Who am I???
Peer Group Influence
• Economic independence
Unstable emotions
Resentment of Authority
Present Day challenges for parents
• Influence of Media, TV, Movies etc
• Money Power
• Fast foods
• Elevation in women’s status
Disturbing/non co operative behaviour Arguing with siblings Teasing,etc Lack of concentration/Distraction
Disobedience Closed Communication
Fear/Anxiety of….. exams teacher one of the parents a bully in the class
Recognising problem signs……
DEFINITIONS “Counselling is a process that leads to
healing, growth and change.’’ (Dr .B.J.Prashantham)
EMPATHY
ENCOURAGEMENT
EMPOWERMENT
ENRICHMENT
EDUCARE
The 5Es
“Life is listening, learning, lifting and living” Baba
BASIC
LISTENING AND RESPONDING
story
• SUPERFICIAL• PART/SELECTIVE• ATTENTIVE
LISTENING
Communication Research(Dr Albert Mahrabian)
Mehrabian -communication theory
Words-Verbal 7%
Voice-Paralinguistic 38%
Body language-55%
THE DIVINE LISTENER
• Listen to your child with full attention.
• Lack of communication leads to misunderstanding.
• Answer your child’s questions, do not avoid them
• This builds trust and faith Chinna katha dolls
RESPONDING SKILLS
GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS
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• Admonishing What’s wrong with you?
Why have you done this?
• Moralising/LABELLINGYou are such a bad student.careless fellow!
You should be ashamed of yourself!
• Humiliating
I am disappointed in you.
I did not expect this of YOU.
• Sympathising \Sarcastic Oh! , that’s really bad! Poor thing! You can only bea street vendor if you don’t study
COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS
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GUIDELINES
• DON’TS1.Dont advice, preach, moralise, compare
2. Avoid ‘have to’, ‘should/should not’, ‘must /must not’ etc
Avoid ‘why’ question as far as possible
DO’S
• Use Reflective responses• A. Reflection of content• B. Reflection of feelings
SUMMARISE!• It shows understanding and Empathy
STYLES OF PARENTINGAutoritarian/AutocraticONLY LAW
PermissiveToo much anuragaattachment LOVE
AuthoritativeLAW+LOVE
UninvolvedNo LOVE or LAW
PHYSICALDharm a
EMOTIONALShanthi
PSYCHICPrem a
SPIRITUALAhi m sa
INTELLECTUALSa thya
PERSONALITy
DOMAINS
Physical Development
“Do all household work as acts of worship for Him: that is more fruitful than hours of meditation,hours gained by entrusting this precious work to paid helpers.”
IntellectualDevelopment(education/experience)
“Education is for life, not for a living” Baba
Recent structural MRI studies have demonstrated that the brain undergoes considerable development during adolescence.
EmotionalDevelopment
“Love is the undercurrent of human life;Man will be able to manifest his innate divinity only when he develops love within” Baba
Aware of feelings/emotionsCoping with emotionsUnderstanding others emotionsSelf concept
Spiritual Development
“Sow a seed of good thoughtReap aharvest of good actionSow a seed of good actionReap a harvest of good habitSow a seed of good habitReap a harvest of good characterSow a seed of good characterReap a harvest of good destiny” Baba
CHARACTER!
• Silent sitting / Guided visualisation
• Prayer/Chanting• Group Singing• Story-telling /Play acting• Group Seva activities
Transformation Tools The 5 techniques
The Spiritual Tool Boxused IN BAL VIKAS
5 Relationships that make the Home
1 Spouse BondRelationship Husband & Wife
2 Power StructureEmpowerment of Family Members
3 Family TimeActivities & Customs
4 CommunicationMode of communication within the family
5 Awareness & ConnectivitySpiritual Belief, Network of
Friends & Relatives
Dharma
Peace
Non-Violence
Truth
Love
1.SPOUSE BOND
“UNDERSTANDING FIRST, ADJUSTMENT NEXT” Baba
Love
2. EMPOWERMENT OF SPOUSE.“HOME IS THE DWELLING PLACE OF RIGHT
CONDUCT .A HOME IS A HOME IF BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE
ARE HONOURED AND RESPECTED WITHIN IT.SUCH A
HOME IS THE HAVEN OF PROSPERITY AND PEACE.”Baba
“PARENTS CAN IMPART ELEMENTS OF THEIR CULTURE AND VALUES WHEN THEY SHARE PRIME FAMILY TIME WITH CHILDREN.” BabaBAD TIMES ARE TESTING TIMES (coping skills)
PEACE COOPERATION, APPRECIATION RECREATION SHARING
3.FAMILY TIME
4.COMMUNICATION“50% OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS LISTENING.IF YOU GIVE AN EAR TO OTHERS ,THEN OTHERS WILL GIVE AN EAR TO YOU.”
RESPECT, EMPATHY, HONESTYAWARENESS OF
OTHERS’ FEELINGS
Words!• “Words can confer strength:they can
drain it off.”• “Power of the atom bomb” Baba
•
Cultural activities, functions, festivals etc sense of oneness, and belonging, connectivity-
SELF AWARENESS, SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES, PRAYER AND DEVOTION
5.AWARENESS & CONNECTIVITY
“Have Constructive
thoughts, Consoling words,
and Compassionate acts”
Baba
Prayer Bedtime Quiet/homework Household Chores Family activities Allowance Consequence
HOUSE RULES(Routine and Boundaries)
Rules
No rules land
“Discipline is needed in every aspect to maintain the right course of life.” Baba
REMEMBER!• Don’t label your child..• Correct only the wrong
behaviourLabels:You are stupidYou are foolishYou are so slow
GUIDELINES Acceptance and warmth Loving friendly approach Realistic expectations Remembering the divine connectivity
GUIDELINES
• Focus on ‘here and now’• Immediate acknowledgement of wrong or right• Allow them to be part of family conversations, decision making…
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Self-Concept Self esteem The Empty self esteem pot
Overflowing
SELF EMPOWERMENT!SELF-CONFIDENCE Self
Satisfaction
Self Sacrifice
Self Realisati
on
The primary responsibility of a parent is to mould the character of the child.” Baba
Exemplar/Role Model
“BE, DO ,AND THEN TELL”
EXEMPLAR PAR EXCELLENCE
THE DIVINE COUNSELLOR
Baba says
“Parents must feel that they are servants appointed by the Lord to tend the little souls that are born in their households, as the gardener tends the trees in the garden of the Master.”