www.thetablet.orgMay 4, 201916A

ST. PAUL, Minn. (CNS) - A decadeago, David Busacker was a high schoolsophomore looking for a way to fit in, andhe decided to give drama a try.

Had he made a different choice, hemight not have married Bridget Scott in2016. The two found themselves on the setof "Little Women" in 2009 at their publichigh school, St. Anthony High School inSt. Anthony. She played Jo March; heplayed her father. Near the end of the per-formance, he made his entrance and spunher on the stage.

"That's when I fell in love with her,"he said.

It took her longer to feel the same, buteventually they started dating while bothwere attending the University ofMinnesota. During that time, Davidbecame a Catholic, and the couple gotengaged in June 2015.

They eagerly dove into marriagepreparation at St. Charles Borromeo in St.Anthony, Bridget's childhood parish. Theyabsorbed everything they could duringtheir meetings with the priest and mentorcouples in the parish.

But they couldn't get enough.The prep was good at St. Charles, but

we were looking for even more," saidBridget, 26. "I think we were, in someways, a little overzealous trying to prepareso much, but I think we also just wanted to

make sure we were tapping into all theresources."

Connected Through DiscussionThey turned to a program for engaged

couples at St. Mark in St. Paul. They foundtheir nine months in the program soenriching that they joined the parish aftertheir wedding. A year later, they startedtheir own group for newly married cou-ples. They named it after Sts. Louis andZelie Martin, the parents of St. Therese ofLisieux who were canonized in 2015. Theylaunched it with four couples, and theyhope to add more newlyweds.

They liked the St. Mark marriagepreparation program because it connectedyoung engaged couples through discussionand the "Beloved" video series producedand distributed by the Augustine Institutein Colorado, which offers Catholic contenton a variety of topics, including marriage.

"It was really awesome," Bridget saidof St. Mark's engaged couples program,which included four to five other couples."It was intimate. ... You were really gettingto know people," she told The CatholicSpirit, newspaper of the Archdiocese of St.Paul and Minneapolis.

Desire To GiveDuring that time, they were drawn to

the religious community Pro EcclesiaSancta (For the HolyChurch) of priests,brothers and sisters whoserve St. Mark Parish.They joined the com-munity's lay movement,Catholic Advance. Theytook part in retreats andweekly Eucharistic ado-ration. Eventually, theyfelt a desire to give toother couples what theyhad received spiritually.

As they discussedwhat that meant, theyacknowledged whatthey perceived as ashortage of programsfor newlyweds in theCatholic Church. It wasa problem they feltcalled to address.

"There was a ton(of resources) availableto us up to the minutewe got married," David

said. "Then, the minute after weexchanged vows, it seemed to us that therewas nothing available."

Lessons on Becoming One FleshBridget agreed. "There's so much

emphasis on marriage prep," she said. "But,what are we doing once people are mar-ried? What is there to offer them to keeptheir marriages strong, and offer resourceswhen it is hard or when you're just tryingto figure it out?"

At a fundamental level, they were try-ing to understand what it means for a hus-band and wife to, as the Bible says,"become one flesh."

"Both of us are fiercely independentpeople," David said. "We're both extreme-ly Type A, competitive people."

As they wrestled with this question,they had a growing desire to explore itwith other newly married couples. It start-ed with one couple they hung out withafter getting married. They often wouldstay up talking until 2 a.m., with deepertopics coming up near the end.

"When that would happen, we werelike, 'This would be so cool to have withother couples, too, and expand it beyondjust the four of us,'" Bridget said. "At thatpoint, we were married probably about ayear and really had the desire in our heartsto get to know other couples and havesomething more formalized."

As they developed their ideas, theydecided that meetings would take place inthe couples' homes to cultivate hospitality,which the Busackers believe is lacking incontemporary culture. It also would createa deeper connection between the couples,which, hopefully, would strengthen every-

one's marriages. Their goal was simple:"Have people in, live life together in themess of life," Bridget said.

The couples meet twice a month -first as couples, then as men and womenseparately. So far, Bridget and David haveorganized two six-month programs - one in2018 and another that finished in Januarythe following year.

In that program, they watched anddiscussed segments of the "Beloved" seriesand thought that format worked best forthe participating couples.

‘A Lot of Growing Pains’"There were a lot of growing pains, I

think, in just growing in trust with eachother to get to the point of comfortablytalking about different topics," Bridget said."But, I think it's been really cool. Two of thecouples have had kids (while) in our group,which was really awesome. And, I thinkwe've gotten really comfortable with eachother and continue growing in communitytogether, which is what we wanted."

As they've developed the meetings'format, they've also learned to allow forflexibility.

"We both wanted it to be perfect,"David said. "We both wanted this to be theright ministry everybody needs. But in real-ity, what people wanted was just to seeeach other and talk openly. And, I reallythink that everything we've done so far hasachieved its purpose. We created a groupof people where we could honestly talkabout hard stuff with one another."

Hrbacek is a staff writer and photographer atThe Catholic Spirit, newspaper of theArchdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis.

Couple’s Program for NewlywedsHelps Them Build Community

p by Dave Hrbacek

Photo © Catholic News Service/Dave Hrbacek, Catholic Spirit

p Bridget and David Busacker enjoy drinking coffee together in their kitchen. Theparishioners of St. Mark in St. Paul, Minn., launched a program for newly marriedcouples in 2017.

The Engaged Encounter weekend offers couples aunique opportunity to look at their commitment to eachother in a deeper way as they prepare for marriage in theCatholic Church.

It also fulfills the diocesan requirement that couplescomplete a marriage preparation program.

The weekend emphasizes the meaning of sacramentalmarriage as a holy, permanent bond. It is an opportunity forcouples to dialogue honestly and intensively, and learn tocommunicate more effectively.

Couples are encouraged to attend the weekend atleast six months before their wedding. Interfaith couplesplanning to wed in the Church are welcome.

Upcoming weekends are set for June 7-9 and Oct. 11-13 at the Bishop Molloy Retreat House, Jamaica Estates.

For more information, or to register, contact Maureenand Paul Moses at CEEBQ@optonline.net, call 718-253-2983 or be sure to visit engagedencounterbq.org.

Weekend Encounter for Engaged Couples