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  • 7/25/2019 Courageous Communicator eBook

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    312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com

    BY DAV ID GROSSMANABC, APR, Fellow PRSA

    13 Weeks, 13 Challenges, and Hundreds of Personal Accomplishments on Your

    journey to Becoming One Remarkable Leader

    The Courageous Communicator Quest

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    The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 2

    The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 2

    It all starts with heeding the call. Maybeyouve been doing this for a while; maybeyoure new to it. But no matter what yoursituation youre ready for a new adventure,a new path, a new way of doing things...

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    The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 3

    Its going to challenge you like youve never been challengedbefore, be harder than anything youve ever done, and call onpersonal reserves and abilities you might not even know youhad. And when its all over you will be changed. You willbe a leader by nature. Youll no longer be concerned withhow youre supposed to do things, or what someoneelse says you should do. You will be transformed:

    in every fiber of your being, you willunderstand what it means to lead.

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    TOstart, you will need to unlearn some of what you have learned, tackle your fears head onrather

    than going around themand accept that much of what youve been taught, absorbed through

    osmosis, or told yourself about what it takes and what it means to be a leader just isnt necessarily

    true. Because most of uswhether by creating reasons to explain, justify, or otherwise excuse

    our weaknesses as leaders, or just accepting those that are handed down by othersare all too

    good at letting fictions about leadership define how we understand ourselves as leaders.

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    BUthese tales of fantastical leaders andtheir superhuman skills are the stuff of myth.A mythdened as: a usually traditional story of

    ostensibly historical events that serves to unfold

    part of the world view of a people or explain a practice,

    belief, or natural phenomenonis the way that weas humans explain things that we just cant otherwise

    wrap our heads around. And historically, great leadership

    has been a thing most of us just cant quite grasp.

    Why are some people so good at it, such naturals, while

    so many of us cant lead our way out of a paper bag?

    So people created myths to explain the seemingly

    inexplicable: The born leader and all those supporting

    myths that help explain the mysteries of why some people

    are such effective leaders, while the rest of us are so bad at it.

    Its time for a dose of reality.

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    Some people refuse to accept that as mere mortalspeople who arent born

    to the roles theyre supposed to playthey should be comfortable with failure.

    These courageous individuals refuse to accept what others say they can

    and cant do. Or about what they should or shouldnt be able to do.

    Instead, its about looking within themselves, facing fears, and tackling

    challenges head on. They know that with determination, courage, and

    growth, they too can become like those mythical leaders. They are theCourageous Communicators.

    And you, too, can be one of them.

    EADERSHIPmyths are comfortable and reassuring.Tey absolve us of responsibility for results we dontwant. Tey're only real, however, if you let them be.

    Most people let them...but not everyone.

    l

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    is not for the faint of heart. In each of the four parts, you will face challenges

    that will test you in new and different ways. Some might be easy for you;

    with others, you might want to quit, to walk away, to say, Im just not cut

    out for this. Other times, you might feel overly condent, Ha! This ones easy.

    Ive got this down.But is it really? Do you really?

    On your Quest, you will need to leave the safety

    of your mythical comfort zones, to journey to new

    lands of self-understanding and communication

    with others, to challenge yourself to do things you

    never thought possible.

    But in the end you will achieve greatness.

    You will be a Courageous Communicator.

    The Courageous Communicator Quest

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    KnowThyself

    Part:1

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    The Courageous Journey Begins Within: Know Thyself

    yOUVEheard it before: Te challenge starts within. On your path to become a truly Courageous

    Communicator, you must begin with self-reflection, self-development and self-awareness.

    Its about looking within yourself, being honest about strengths and weaknesses, being authenticto whatever those are, and deciding to relate to others as someone who owns who you are.

    Challenge 1: Find Your Authentic Self

    The Myth

    Those born leaders? Theyve got qualities X, Y, and Z.

    And little old me? I dont have any of them. Oh well...

    The Truth

    Great leaders arent born. Theyre made. Sure, some people

    might seem to arrive at being good leaders more quickly or

    more easily than others, but maybe its just that theyre paying

    more attention. Or making the harder decisions. Or chancing

    on the right path because they happened to choose Option 1

    instead of Option 2. But no matter how they get there, the fact

    is that leadership takes work. Great leaders are honest about

    their strengths and weaknesses, and though they learn to

    play up their strengths and play down their weaknesses (and

    nd ways to compensate for them), they never pretend to beanything other than who they really are.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    Make a list of your best qualities, along with what you know

    for sure about yourself and what you believe in. Carefully

    consider and select three items on the list that you can

    share with your employees or teams to give them a better

    understanding of who you are and how you think.

    Challenge 2: Become Self-Aware (Walk the alk)

    The Myth

    Great leaders do whatever they want and get to live to a

    completely different standard, but somehow they get the

    people under them to do what theyre supposed to do.

    The Truth

    It might seem like those great leaders are doing whatever

    they want and dont have to answer to anyone, but thats not

    true at all. In fact, good leaders know that everything they do

    is modeling behaviors, setting expectations, and either directly

    or indirectly communicating to employees what his/her essential

    values are. Good leaders are highly self-aware: They pay attention

    to what they do and how they do it. And like those who live life

    in the public eye, they know everyones watching them and taking

    lessons away from what they do or say (and noticing if theresa disconnect between the two).

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    Find a truth teller (or tellers) and ask, What do I need to

    know about myself that I am unaware of but other people see?

    What are things that I need to be aware of that would help me

    understand how Im inuencing people?

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    The Courageous Journey Begins Within: Know Thyself

    Challenge 3: Disclose Yourself to Others

    The Myth

    Great leaders dont need to be known or understood.

    They should be the stuff of legend.

    The Truth

    Its a common misconception that great leaders never

    reveal their humanity. On the contrary, the most inuential

    leaders understand that revealing genuine vulnerabilities

    or human traits can be a powerful tool for connecting

    with employees and modeling personal growth. Thats

    not to say that its about becoming a quivering mess of

    insecurities, but strategicand honestself-disclosure

    can better help people understand that you share in their

    struggles and know what it is to overcome adversity.

    You show that youre not leading in a bubble, but that

    your perspective is grounded in specic experiences.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    Pick a behavior that you want your teamor a

    specic employeeto improve. Then think of apersonal experience with behavior that was holding

    you backand the story of how you overcame it,

    developed new behaviors, and how that change

    ultimately led to a turning point in your career.

    Now the hard part: Share that story with your team

    or that individual.

    Challenge 4: Stay rue to Yourself Under Pressure (Integrity)

    The Myth

    Great leaders always know the answer.

    The Truth

    Heres a surprising truth about the most effective leaders: They are

    completely comfortable saying I dont know. Yes, they know its important

    to be on top of things, but they dont feel the pressure to answer every

    question on the spot or make things up to ll an information void. While

    creating an answer at the moment might seem the best way to show youre

    in charge, its far more likely to undermine employee perceptions of your

    integrity in the long run. If you dont have an answer, dont make one up.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    Its time to get comfortable with three small words: I dont know.

    This week, every time you dont know an answer, own it. But keep

    in mind, this isnt necessarily the end of the conversation.

    When appropriate, follow up with answers when

    you have them, or give context for why you

    dont have an answer yet.

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    understand

    Your World

    Part:2

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    The Courageous Journey in Context: Understand Your World

    JUSwhat are you leading? And where do you want to go? Knowing the lay of yourown land might not seem like an important part of your journey, but its just as important

    to grasp whatyoure leading as it is to understand who. Do you really understand your

    organization or division? Do you have a vision for where you want to take it and what

    you hope to accomplish? Just as important, have you figured out how to explain all of

    it to others in a way that they can understand? Without context and planning, youre

    venturing out into the great world without the tools you need to succeed.

    Challenge 5: Develop an Accurate Picture of the Business

    The Myth

    Great leaders dont get their hands dirty with the details.

    The Truth

    Effective leaders might not get caught in the weeds of the business and know better than to micromanage their teams.

    But they do stay connected to the people on the front lines, and understand the workings of their company, division orteam across roles and responsibilities. They realize that only by knowing whats really happening can they make better

    decisions and achieve desired outcomes.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    Set up an informational lunch with employees once a week. Ask broad, open-ended questions and listen. Talk as little as

    possible. Ask for clarication when you need it. Above all, let go of ego and defensiveness to show people that youre open to

    hearing what they have to say.

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    Challenge 7: Plan Your Communication

    The Myth

    Great leaders dont trouble themselves with

    communication; they just get things done.

    The Truth

    Often people in charge assume that as long as

    they have ideas, a vision, and a sense of purpose

    that will be enough to lead the way forward. If only

    it were that easy. In truth, good leaders know that

    communicating their vision, painting a picture of

    it, and helping people understand how it will affect

    them can make the difference between being

    a leader in name and a leader in practice.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    Take the time to plan (use our take 5tool if you

    need guidance) communication for a critical issue

    in the coming week. Stay focused on this singleissue for the entire week. Next week, take the t ime

    to plan your communication for two issues.

    And keep building in the coming weeks.

    The Courageous Journey in Context: Understand Your World

    Challenge 6: Envision the Future

    The Myth

    Great leaders are visionaries, and people fall

    in line behind their ideas because they want

    to align with genius.

    The Truth

    No doubt there are lots of people out there who

    are brilliant visionaries who never become great

    leaders. And why not? Because visionary ideas

    arent created by osmosis. No, strong leaders

    encourage others to follow because they paint a

    picture of visionary ideas and show how employees

    can be a part of helping achieve that vision.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    First, get your vision out of your headand onto

    a single piece of paper. Only by articulating your

    ideas clearly and concisely can you then passthem on to your employees. Next, ensure that

    every communication you send in a single week

    clearly communicates your vision. Then do it

    again, week after week.

    The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 13

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    DevelopEmpathy

    Part:3

    r r

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    The Courageous Journey Into the Unknown: Develop Empathy

    ISnot uncommon to begin your journey thinking you can go it alone. As long as you have thediscipline, the drive, and the personal reserves, youll be able to find everything you need to make

    it to your destination within yourself. Some call it resourcefulness, but as a leader, youre not a loneoperator. Tis isnt about survival of the fittest. Tis is about leading your entire team to success, tonurturing the best in everyone, to understand the talents of each and every member of your team,and to get to your destination by harnessing everyones collected efforts.

    o do that, youll need to develop an understanding of how others think and why they think theway they do. Te Courageous Communicator knows that empathy, or the ability to put oneself insomeone elses shoes and see the world from their perspective (which is not to say that you have toagree with or condone their thoughts and actions) is an essential component of great leadership.

    Challenge 8: Embrace Kindness and Caring

    The Myth

    Great leaders know kindness and concern for others is the quickest way to show weaknessand lose respect.

    The Truth

    In contrast to this all-too-common myth, the most effective leaders arent cold and ruthless. In fact, employees consistently

    work better and harder for leaders who make them feel better about themselves, who display an honest appreciation for

    others and their lives, and who value what they do for the organization.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    Commit to adding a new word or phrase to your vocabulary every day this week. And use it!

    Monday:Please

    uesday:Thank you

    Wednesday:Im grateful that you

    Tursday:One of the things

    I value about you is

    Friday:How can I better

    support you in?

    The Courageous Journey Into the Unknown Develop Empathy

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    The Courageous Journey Into the Unknown: Develop Empathy

    Challenge 9: Create anEmotional Connection

    The Myth

    Great leaders dont get

    distracted by things like

    emotions and feelings.

    Theyre all about the facts.

    The Truth

    Facts are great, but most people

    dont connect with the facts.

    They identify with the stories

    that emerge from or develop inrelation to the facts. People look

    to leaders to connect the factual

    dots, to ll in the color, and to

    paint a picture of what facts

    mean for the company, for the

    future, and for them as individual

    employees.

    The Courageous

    Communicator ChallengeWrite down your three most

    important goals. Now esh

    out the possibilities inherent in

    achieving those goals by creating

    three Imagine if statements

    that paint a picture of the future

    and offer motivation to your team.

    Challenge 10: Understand Others & ListenEmpathetically

    The Myth

    Great leaders know better than to worry about how

    employees feel or to try to understand their concerns.

    The Truth

    Its easy for leaders to hold court, but exercising power or control

    isnt the same as actuallyleading. In myth, understanding others

    is often portrayed as weakness, but in reality, truly effective

    leaders nd strength in listening to their employees, gaining an

    understanding of their perspectives, and in communicating in a

    way that shows respect for others.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    This week, you have a two-part assignment:

    Part 1:Do you understand how your boss/assistant/otherperson you regularly work with thinks? Choose a person with

    whom you have daily interactions. Think about what information

    this person needs to do his/her job well and how he/she likes to

    receive information. Make a list, and put that list into use every

    time you communicate with this person during the week.

    Part 2:Take one day this week to ask the same person anopen-ended question with the goal of learning something new

    about him/her. Specically, ask a what question, and then follow

    it up with a why? and to what end? Actively listen, avoid taking

    things personally or getting defensive, and then paraphrase back

    what youve heard the person say to ensure youve understood

    their point of view. This conversation should be entirely about

    the other person, and not about you or advancing your opinions.

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    Lead Through HonestCommunicationPart:4

    The Courageous Journey Culminates Lead through Honest Communication

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    The Courageous Journey Culminates: Lead through Honest Communication

    yOUVEcome so far. But this, the final leg of your journey, will be the hardest yet.

    Why? Because now you must combine all of the things you have learned in theprevious three parts, and actively put them to use in your daily interactions with

    employees. Where past challenges asked you to look within, to understand your

    situation, and to work toward an understanding of others, now youll need to directly

    connect with others to inspire them to action and help achieve your vision. Youre

    so close. Good luck on this final leg of your journey, Courageous Communicator!

    Challenge 11: Value Dialogue

    The Myth

    Once great leaders speak, their words become gospel.

    The Truth

    Communication is more than just speaking words or writing them down. Impactful leaders know that in order to be heard,

    understood and acted upon, those words must be incorporated into give-and-take dialogue. This approach lets the intended

    audience or employee nd meaning and relevance in the imparted information, resulting in true communication.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    This weeks challenge is a simple one (in action, at least): Add the sentence Help me understand what you heard to the end

    of every conversation.

    But heres where it gets hard: Really listen to and engage with the response you get. If the person heard something different,

    do they need further explanation? Or is their misunderstanding actually revealing a gap in your own thinking? How will your

    conversation become a dialogue that leads to a meaningful, productive outcome?

    The Courageous Journey Culminates: Lead through Honest Communication

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    The Courageous Journey Culminates: Lead through Honest Communication

    Challenge 12: Give Others Feedback and Be Open to Input

    The MythGreat leaders exist on one plane; employees on another.

    And the two never touch or overlap.

    The Truth

    Feedback is how we all move forward. An effective leader knows that

    he/she must give constructive feedback to employees to help people

    understand how they are doingwhether they are doing something

    well or they need to signicantly improve. And just as important, strong

    leaders are open to feedback and input from others. Its not about my

    way or the highway; instead, good leaders know that soliciting and

    listening to the opinions of employees can be a way to gain honest

    insights and new or valuable perspectives.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    This weeks challenge has two parts, focusing on providing daily

    coaching and feedback:

    Part 1:Recognize the behaviors and actions you want to seemore of: I appreciate that you...

    Part 2:Coach around alternative behaviors in a series of clear steps:

    I want to share feedback with you...

    The reason I want to share this feedback is (share your motivation

    and intent, and show how your feedback will benet him/her).

    Share your feedback: When you did________, this is the result(describe).

    How do you feel about what I just said?

    If it is necessary, provide alternative behaviors that are more effective.

    Then dialogue and discuss next steps.

    Challenge 13: Empower

    Others and Help Tem Believein Temselves

    The Myth

    Great leaders know that employees cant

    handle the truthand that its important

    to protect them from too much knowledge.

    The Truth

    Youve seen those Public Service

    Announcements that end with The more you

    know Sure, there will always be people whowant to believe that ignorance is bliss, but the

    fact is that in most cases, knowledge is power.

    As a leader, its in your control to empower

    your team with important information that can

    help them feel more responsible, better able to

    make essential decisions, and more condent

    that they can trust in their own competence

    (rather than constantly needing reassurance

    or approval from superiors). The result is more

    effective teams that free your time to do what

    you should be doing: Leading.

    The Courageous Communicator Challenge

    Think of information that you are consciously

    withholding from your team. But instead

    of holding back, share a)what you know

    and b)what you dont know. Then begin

    a dialogue with your team about the

    information and how to understand it.

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    Oddly enough, though you should be tired,youre not. Its like you have a new lease

    on life, a special spring in your step, and

    youre ready to set the world on re.

    Whereas before being in charge often

    felt like an uphill battle, now youre

    comfortable with and inspired by the

    possibilities of leadership. Your sights

    are set on what you can accomplish.

    Youre discovering that you now have

    the ability to inspire individuals and teams

    to new heights. Youre seeing what your

    vision looks like in action. Youre nding

    that employeesand your peerslook at

    you with a new respect and appreciation.

    Its a funny thing Youve ended your Quest and

    earned the right to rest on your laurelsto sit back,

    relax, and take a little time for yourselfbut you dont

    want to. Theres just so much great leading to do...

    Congratulations, CourageousCommunicator! Youve

    come a long way...

    The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 20

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    Elevate your communication from dream to reality...312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com

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    Available at

    YourThoughtPartner.com/Book

    Imagine having your own personalized business

    messages and stories in the palm of your hand.

    Our leadercommunicator platform is now available

    for the iPad or tablet, enabling leaders to have quick

    and easy access to their core messages. Not unlike a

    political platform, the award-winning leadercommunicatorplatform is a customized tool for senior leaders to help

    them develop and articulate strategy, drive change,

    and engage employees to achieve business results.

    It's never been easier to ensure leaders stay on track

    with the messaging they want to drive.

    David Grossman, ABC, APR, Fellow PRSADavid helps leaders drive productivity and get the results they want through authentic and courageous

    leadership and communication. Hes a sought-after speaker and advisor to Fortune 500 leaders, and

    author of the highly-acclaimed books, You CantNOTCommunicate: Proven Communication Solutions

    That Power the Fortune 100,and its follow-up, You CantNOTCommunicate2.

    David counsels leaders at top organizations to unleash the power of strategic internal communication

    and drive performance. Clients include Accor, AOL, HTC, GlaxoSmithKline, LifeScan (a Johnson & Johnson Company),

    Lockheed Martin, McDonalds, Microsoft, Nielsen, DuPont Pioneer, and Symantec, to name a few.

    Hes Founder/CEO of The Grossman Group, an award-winning Chicago-based strategic leadership

    development and internal communications consultancy, and teaches at Columbia University, NYC.

    The Grossman Group

    Typeface Credits:

    Imagex- Things We Said

    Denise Bentulan- Brain Flower

    CL ICK TO LEARN MORE

    As featured in:

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