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The? Courier

B y

M i c h a e l B r a n d tDerek Haas

3&\t

119 Driftwood #13Marina del Rey, CA 90292(310)301-7761

Registered: WGAw 686780

PN,12/5/1997

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FADE IN :

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE A P RISON - NIGHT

A Greyhound bus drops off a scraggly prison guard. He isaverage in every possible way. His clothes are gray, his hatis blue. His boots are black. He is The Courier, 35. Hissole possession is a blue lunch box.

A sign outside the prison reads:

Buckley Criminal Asylum

The Courier stops at the first gate, where a GUARD looks downfrom behind a thick glassed control room.

GUARD

Name?THE COURIER

Thomason. Leonard. 42 dash 389.

The Guard checks a computer screen. The gate beneath himunlocks. The Courier is in.

INT. PRISON EN TRANCE WAY - NIGHT

The Courier walks through a short reception area, where toursof the prison would take place. There are mannequins ofguards and prisoners doing chummy things like playing cardsand working together on the wood lathe. He walks straightthrough, all business.

INT. CHECK ROOM - N IGHT

The next room is bare except for a card table and GUARD 2.He's reading a book.

GUARD 2Hey How's it going? Gettin' through thenight shift?

THE COURIERYeah. It's not bad.

The Courier dumps the contents of his lunch pail onto thetable. S andwich, chips, and a pickle.

GUARD 2Don't fret, buddy. How long you beenhere, three weeks? Eight, twelve months

f tops and you'll move to afternoons.That's where the real action is. Wherewere you before?

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THE COURIERLeavenworth.

The Guard laughs.GUARD 2

Fuckin* Cub Scout you are Well, you'rein the big house now.

He checks out The Courier's lunch,examining each item Hepicks up the pickle.

GUARD 2 (cont'd)Sandwich, chips, and a pickle. Same damnthing every night. Don't you get tiredof this? Because I must admi t, I'm not a

big fan of pickles myself.The Courier snatches the sararorapped pickle and looks itover lovingly.

THE COURIERLet me tell you something, Glen , is it?This is not just a pickle.

He unpeals the wrapper.

THE COURIER (cont'd)This is a N orthern Virginia ChestnutP olish. The cucumber this pickle wasmade from was picked at the height of itssweetness. When was the last time youheard a cucumber described as sweet?

The Guard just shakes head.

THE COURIER (cont'd)N ormally, it would have been a shame toruin this cucumber with the picklingprocess, except in the hands of CarlCarlson. Carl's pickled olives for theKing of Spain, calve's liver for thePresident of Mexico, and even pickled awhole pig for the Chief Shaman of theHolybutus of S ri Lanka. You can imaginewhat the tribe thought of that J

The Guard can just imagine

THE COURIER (cont'd)Bottom line, my friend, is that I'm notjust enjoying a nightly pickle I'm inthe company of the Gods. S mell that.

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The Guard take a huge whiff of the outstretched pickle.

THE COURIER (cont'd)Do you smell the hint of clove, hiddenjust beneath the garlic? It's perfect.Carl Carlson actually watches his picklespickle. N one of the other greats haveever gone to such extremes. This is notjust a pickle.

The guard is a believer.

CUT TO:

INT. GUARD LOCKER ROOM - N IGHT

The Courier carefully unpacks his lunch in front of hislocker. He unwraps the pickle, looks at it longingly, andtakes a small bite. When he pulls the pickle away from hismouth there is a thin metal tube revealed hidden in thepickle. The Courier carefully extracts it.

INT. PRISON - NIGHT

The Courier meander s through a maze of checkpoints, lockedgates, and foreboding corridors. Finally, he emerges at alarge console where one YOUNG GUARD watches twelve securitymonitors.

Each screen on the console switches to shots of jail cellsand hallways _ except for one that stays rigidly on a singlecell containing one IMMEN S E BLACK P RISON ER. He's sittingquietly, reading a book.

The young guard rises, gathering his things as The Couriermoves around the panel .

YOUNG GUARDHow you doing, Leonard?

THE COURIERHangin' in there.

(gesturing at the Immense BlackPrisoner)

How' s the big man?

YOUNG GUARDStill just reading. All he does, all daylong.

The Courier nods again as the young guard shuffles away.

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INT. JAIL CELL - N IGHT

Light dances across a CRUSTY P RISON ER'S face while he sleeps.He blinks, bothered, and wakes. The light grows fierceracross his features _ he squints, reaches for his glasses,and his eyes bug out as he realizes a prisoner is on fire inthe cell across from him.

Crusty starts howling like a shot dog.

CRUSTY PRISONER(screams)

Fire Fire in the hole

The rest of the cell block, jerked out of their sleep, goesberserk.

INT. CONS OLE MONITOR - NIGHT

One screen shows the burning prisoner. The screen next to itremains locked on the Immense Black Pri soner. S uddenly, thatscreen goes black.

The Courier is no longer at his post.

INT. BURNING P RISONER'S CELL - N IGHT

Guards rush in from all over, struggle to open the bars tothe burning cell, then blanket the burning prisoner withcarbon dioxide.

When the dust settles, they are surprised to find that theburning prisoner was a mannequiriLike the ones in thereception area

Confusion ensues.

INT. IMMENS E BLACK PRIS ONER'S CELL - N IGHT

The Immense Black P risoner looks up from his booko find TheCourier standing in his open cell door.

IMMENSE BLACK PRISONERFuck you want?

THE COURIERI'm the Courier.

x^ S

y f i S J S X

The prisoner chews on this- there is recognition in his face.

IMMENSE BLACK PRISONERNippy Jones sent ' cha?

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v THE COURIERThat's right.

The Courier pulls the 'key' out of his boot.

IMMENSE BLACK PRISONERI'll be damned That backward readin'gap toothed little rat kept his word.

(glibly)Do I need to sign for this somewhere?

The Courier is gone.

IMMENSE BLACK PRISONER(calling out)

Don' t you want to see what' s in here?

The prisoner opens the tube and pulls out a small, metal keylike instrument. He reaches through the bars and slips thekey into the slot on his door. There is a click, and theImmense Black Prisoner smiles.

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE A P RISON - NIGHT

The Courier boards the dilapidated bus.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN :

INT. THE COURIER'S AP ARTMENT - DAY

The Courier steps out of his shower and wraps a white towelaround his waist. His beard is gone, and his hair is sandyinstead of jet black. The effect is dramaticas he lookslike a different person.

He walks through his sparse apartment. N o television, radio,nothing. He hits a flashing button on his answering machine.

ELDERLY MAN'S VOICE(o.s., with an Eastern European

accent)Hello? This thing recording? Well, ifso, this is your father calling. Haven'theard from you in a while, wanted to letyou know I got the check. Hope to hellyou're all right. Give you old man acall when you get a chance. Know you'rebusy. Okay. Goodbye.

&®fe\

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The Courier moves to his sparsely-decorated kitchen and isflabbergasted to find a man, LISPY, rummaging through hisrefrigerator.

Lispy is a thin, effeminate hombre who likes to wear baubles,lip gloss, and speaks with a well-practiced lisp. Ironically,his demeanor is extremely tough and edgy. He does not lookup when the Courier enters.

LISPYI underth-tand you're the man who deliver-ths items to hard-to-reach people.

Lispy backs away from the refrigerator with a dill picklestuck between his thumb and forefinger like a cigar.

The Courier eyes his pickleLISPY

My queth-tion i-th do you deliver item-th to people who do not want to bereached?

Lispy takes a bite of the pickle.

LISPY (cont'd)Damn, thaths taythty.

The Courier cautiously ambles to the refrigerator himself and

withdraws an appleLISPY

I've been th-itting here waiting for youto fini-th that shower th-o that I couldath-k you that que-th-tion.

Lispy has moved over t o the kitchen table where he has beenworking a crossword puzzle in ink. A small attache case sitsnext to him.

LISPYWhat-th a five letter word for 'king'?

THE COURIERBaron.

LISPYUh-uh. Th-tarts with a *M'

THE COURIERMogul

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Lispy nods approvingly, inks in the word. He lifts a glassof orange juice to his lips, replaces it on the table.

After a second, he raises his head.

LISPYWhat does-th the name Sivle Yelserp meanto you?

THE COURIERI've heard it.

Lispy nods in the same manner.

LISPYHe th-ent me to find you. He want-th to

hire you.THE COURIER

He's alive then?

LISPYVery much th-o.

THE COURIERDoes Mr. Yelserp know my terms?

The strange man lifts the attache up and lays it on thetable.

From his breast pocket, he withdraws a cashier's check forone- hundred thousand dollars and slides it over to theCourier.

THE COURIERI don't take checks.

LISPYThi-th one you will. You have his word.

The Courier picks up the check, examining it closely.100,000 dollars. Lispy nods at it.

LISPYAs I underthtand it, that is what youmake for completing a delivery. You canhave it up f ron t—

(beat)Plu-th five hundred thouthand more ifthith case find-th right hand-th .

THE COURIERWhy the kick?

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LISPYBecauth it can't be done.

THE COURIERWhose hands?

LISPYYeltherp's and Yeltherp's only.

THE COURIERI don't follow.

LISPYSivle Yelserp want-th thith packagedelivered to himthelf.

THE COURIERWhy?

LISPYHe want-th to thee if he is how should Ithay "findable." If anyone can do it,he thaid it would be you. I thuggest youtake histh offer.

THE COURIERIs that right?

LISPY

Yeth. Although he may not be findable,you obviously are . Again, I thuggest youtake hith offer.

Lispy rises to leave, dusting off his trousers.

LISPYOh, and you have til S -thunday.Otherwise-th, the offer is re-thindedthat check is no good, and you become amarked man . That'th the deal.

THE COURIER

That's not much of a deal.LISPY

Tough s-thit.

After the odd man has left, The Courierputs his glass in thesink and tosses the crossword in the trash.

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INT. MUSTY BOXING RING - DAY

A wizened old man, CORNERMAN, sits in the bleachers of atawdry gymnasium, watching a black kid pummel a Mexican in adecrepit boxing ring. The Courier takes a seat behind him.

CORNERMANMickey T. and No-Neck went down while youwas away.

THE COURIERWhacked?

CORNERMANNaw. Fifty to life.

THE COURIERWhat about Cisco?

CORNERMAN(snickers)

Cisco Cisco got scots. Marched fifteenfuckin 1 firemen into court, all swearin'they was eatin' Moons over My-Hammy atDenny's with Cisco when Papa Nillo wastaken out. Defense had a field day, allthose uniforms. Cisco walked easy.

(beat)Weren't so easy for Mick and No-Neckthough. They ain't got the friendsCisco's got.

THE COURIERThe truth's the truth.

CORNERMANYou're right about that.

The Mexican kid's face is turning into a raspberry, and bothCornerman and The Courier wince as a three-punch combinationlands cleanly.

THE COURIERI got a name for you.

CORNERMANShoot.

THE COURIERSivle Yelserp.

Cornerman's face turns stone white. His eyes sweep the gym.

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CORNERMANDon't ever say that name aloud. N otaround me . N ot here. That name gets

mentioned, I'm AI Capone's vaults. I gotnothing for you, for Chris'sakes.

THE COURIERDon't get so shaky. I'm working for him.I just need to find the man.

CORNERMANAre you saying something? Because I'mnot listening.

THE COURIERYeah?

CORNERMANThat's what I said. You're lookin' at theback of a clam.

THE COURIERThat's funny. You listened to me when Itold you to get off the Delta job.

Cornerman pretends to be captivated by the fight. TheMexican kid's nose pops.

THE COURIERLet's see if I remember that correctly.Hmm. You quit like I told you and thenext day Slants and Jerome exploded intoa thousand pieces. P arts of 'em werefound all over Rhode Island or was itVirginia?

The old man blinks, his face shrewing up .

THE COURIERYou listened to me a great deal backthen. It saved your craggly old ass .

CORNERMANAll right. All right. You want to knowwhere Yelserp is?

The Mexican fighter lands flat on his back. Two Hispanicswho are seated in the stands below sulk dejectedly up and payCornerman a few dollars before leaving.

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CORNERMAN(whispers)

You want to know where the Kingis, yougotta look up S an Fran Tanna. That's allI got to say and you didn't hear it fromme.

Cornerman looks away like no one is sitting next to him.

THE COURIERWhere do I find him?

CORNERMAN(still looking away)

Clam, I say

The old man turns to make sure this conversation is through,but The Courier has already disappeared.

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO BUS STOP - NIGHT

SAN FRAN TANN A is a bookish Chinese man who wears thick,black glasses that are twice the size of his gaunt face. Hewaits placidly on a bench for the bus to approach,spreadsheets drooped across his knees. The Bay Bridge glowsin the background.

When the bus pulls up, he collects his data tables and climbsaboard.

In the eighth seat on the left, S an Fran Tanna spreads hisworksheets across his knees and buries his head in thefigures. He does not look up when the seat next to him isoccupied by The Cour ie. He speaks in a slow Texas drawl.

SAN FRAN TANN AYa ain' t workin' for who you think yaare.

THE COURIERWho do I think I'm working for?

This remark gets the Texas Chinaman to raise his head.

SAN FRAN TANNA(annoyed)

Are you a ventriloquist? N o? Then don'ttreat me like no damn dummy

THE COURIERAll right. Who am I working for?

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SAN FRAN TANNAThe guy who hired you real homo wearsrings on every finger, lip gloss talk-th

like thi-th.THE COURIER

That's right.

SAN FRAN TANNAHe don't work for Yelserp.

The Courier shakes his head as if to say "he doesn't?" andS an Fran Tanna answers with the same gesture.

SAN FRAN TANNANope. He's a Fed.

He waits for The Courier's reaction, but is disappointed toreceive none.

SAN FRAN TANNASince Yelserp submerged, the Feds havebeen itching like mosquidr bites. Theygot high-profile indictment and noarrest. They're nervous. They griftedyou to do their work for 'em.

(beat)You open the case?

THE COURIERN o. I never do.

SAN FRAN TANNAYeah, whatever. My guess is that it'sgot a tracker in it. You find the King,and they're gonna swoop in, that sort ofthing.

The bus rolls to a stop and San Fran Tanna rises.

SAN FRAN TANNA

This here's ly stop.The Courier gets up and lets the Chinaman lead the way off ofthe bus.

When the bus drives away , a P OLICE OFFICER walks up to thetwo of them and BLASTS San Fran Tanna in the face with hispistol. The Chinese man's body drops to The Courier's feet.

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P OLICE OFFICER(politely)

Hi. How are you? I think you bettercome with me.

They step over S an Fran Tanna.

P OLICE OFFICER (cont'd)(politely)

Watch the blood.

INT. CORRIDOR - N IGHT

The police officer leads The Courier down a stark corridor.He always talks in the same manner — as polite as an Englishbutler.

P OLICE OFFICERHow was your flight into San Francisco?Continental has some good rates rightnow, though I always prefer to flyAmerican.

The Courier gives him a smug half-smile.

P OLICE OFFICERThe weather in the Bay should be fabulouswhile you're here. If you get thechance, try to get up to the wine

country, it's oh, here we are.They arrive at a wooden door, and the officer opens the doorfor him.

INT. TORTURE ROOM - N IGHT

A single wooden chair stands sentinel in the otherwise bareroom.

P OLICE OFFICERHave a seat there, please. Atta, boy.Wonderful.

The officer moves behind hi/n and chains his ankles to thechair.

P OLICE OFFICERWould you mind putting your hands backhere for me . Great. Thanks. Thatreally helps.

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He handcuffs The Courier's wrists together, chains them tothe chair, then claps his own hands as though he's wiping offthe hard work.

P OLICE OFFICERAll-righty then. That does it for me.It was great meeting you. You take carenow.

He leaves.

The Courier waits for an eternity.

Finally, the door bursts open and a large woman, MRS .CAPOLILLO, rushes in. S he has abroad forehead, a mop ofbleached hair, meaty arms, and fists the size of cantaloupes.

S he moves non-stop to where The Courier sits and WALLOPS himone two three times in the face. Mrs . Capolillo rushesout.

A thin line of blood snakes down his cheek where she cut him.

In a minute, a grey-haired man, MR. CAPOLILLO enters. He isshort and pudgy , but looks dapper in hiaeatly pressed shirtthat's open at the collar. Tufts of white chest hair pokeout at the top. He dabs at his forehead with a blackhandkerchief.

MR. CAPOLILLOI see you've met my wife.

Dab dab dab

MR. CAPOLILLO (CONT'D)N ow, I know what you're thinking. Howcould a sap like me land the prize fish?I'll tell ya . It took persistence,perseverance, and good oldfashionedgusto.

The Courier pulls at his manacles, but there's no hope ofloosening them. Mr . Capolillo goes on dabbing.

MR. CAPOLILLO (CON T'D)Forty years later, she still makes myheart skip when she enters the room.

The Courier understands this. Mr. Capolillo notices theblood.

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MR. CAPOLILLO (CONT'D)I see she forgot to take her wedding ringoff again. She sure is keen on that

ring. (beat)But you don' t want a lecture on ancienthistory, do you? You want to know whyyou're here. The truth is you came tomy town with a delivery. And in my town,all mail belongs to me.

THE COURIERIs that right?

MR. CAPOLILLO(flaring up)

You're god-damn right that's rightDab dab dab

MR. CAPOLILLO(collecting himself)

Okay. Okay. Settle. Settle. Now.P lease don't interrupt me. I don't likeinterruptions. Okay, where was I? Oh,yes. All mail belongs to me . You maythink of me as San Francisco's PostmasterGeneral. Therefore, you have somethingthat is mine. Fork it over.

THE COURIERI can' t do that.

MR. CAPOLILLOI don't like that word, "can't."

THE COURIEROkay. I won't do that.

MR. CAPOLILLOMr . Courier. Did you see what happenedto Mr. Tanna? Do you think I wouldhesitate to continue the practice oferadicating the elements in my life whichare objectionable? Mr. Tanna has been atrusted confidant in the past.

(beat)In the past.

THE COURIER0^ Sorry.

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MR. CAPOLILLOI wish you hadn't said that.

He shakes his head and leaves the room.

After a spell, the door opens again and Mrs. Capolilloreturns. The last thing The Courier sees before the roomtakes a massive ferris wheel spin is the woman's fat fistsflying at his face.

EXT. JUNK YARD - DAY

The Courier lies face down in the dirt; the Golden Gatebridge looms in the background.

He lifts himself up, his face lumpy, and limps over to a pay

phone.After depositing a quarter

THE COURIERHey, Mike. Who we got in the Bay?

A muffled voice comes out of the receiver.

THE COURIERNope. He's dead.

Muffled voice again.

THE COURIERJack S traw's out here? S ince when?Jeez. All right. A day or two. Okay.All right. Thanks.

He replaces the receiverand gingerly touches his swolleneye. He checks for blood, and dials another number.

The Courier's POP answers.

POPHello?

THE COURIERHey, P op.

POPI'll be damned... you're alive . Beenwondering about you.

THE COURIERI know, I'm sorry. I'm on a job.

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POPSo how is the computer sales business?

The Courier sees a police cruiser crawl by.THE COURIER

What? Oh, its okay. Busy.

POPWell, when you get a chance you shouldcome out and visit. Not gonna be aroundforever, you know

The police car makes a turn at the end of the block.

THE COURIER

Don't talk that way. Hey, Pop, I gottago.

POPYeah, yeah. I'm sure you do. Goodtalking to you.

THE COURIERYeah, you to.

The Courier hangs up and steps out to the street He hails acab.

In moments, one pulls to the curb and the Courier climbs inthe back.

A young CAB DRIVER turns to him, immediately acknowledgingthe pummeled face.

CAB DRIVERWhere to, Holyfield?

THE COURIERThirty-five hundred Bayside Drive.

CAB DRIVERYou got it, Real Deal.

The cab driver picks up his CB mouthpiece and relays his pickup to the station.

The Courier eases back into the seat, grimacing. Withoutturning around

THE COURIERIs there a police car following us?

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CAB DRIVER(over his shoulder)

What's that, champ?

THE COURIERIs there a police car behind us? A cop?

The cab driver peers into the rear view, then eyes theCourier.

CAB DRIVERA few cars back.

THE COURIERYou know any crowded places around here?

CAB DRIVERYou need to get lost, palooka?

THE COURIERThat's right.

CAB DRIVERN o problem. Game day.

The cab makes a sharp turn the police car follows.

Soon, the cab turns toward 3-Com (formerly Candlestick) ballpark.

CAB DRIVERBetter go ahead and pay me now.

The Courier tosses a twenty over the seat.

THE COURIERSlow to about fifteen when you get upthere and keep going, okay?

CAB DRIVERYou got it, Tyson.

The cab pulls up to where a huge crowd is moving down asidewalk to get to the stadium.

While the cab is still moving, the door opens and the Courierrolls out, springs up like a cat, and quickly blends into thecrowd.

The police officer who shot S an Fran Tanna can only watchfrom his car.

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EXT. JACK STRAW'S HEMP SHOP- DAY

There is a small flower stand next to theshop. The Courier

examines a leafy plant, plucks off a leaf, and goes into thestore.

INT. JACK S TRAW'S HEMP SHOP- DAY

JACK STRAW is a white man with dirty dread locks and ascraggly beard. He wears a loose tie-dye, hemp pants andsandals. A hemp beret is perched on his head.

His store is a Grateful Dead concert parking lot that'spaying rent. S mall tables are covered with bongs , incense,pebble necklaces , and various little trinkets. Hemp clothinghangs from all the walls, and posters of the Dead fight

bumper stickers and license plates for wall space. The Deadplay on a little box.

JACK STRAWCourier What's happ enin 1 , my man?

THE COURIERYou got any ice?

JACK STRAWFreezer in the back room.

INT. LIVING S PACE - DAY

The Courier walk s to the back which is a disgusting littlehole. The sheets on the cot have an oval ring of brown bakedinto them. "Pulp Fiction" plays on the small television.The scene where John Travolta opens the briefcase and seesthe yellow light catches The Courier's attention.

JACK STRAW(o.s.)

Good to see you, man. Haven't seen yousince the July 4th show in Boise.

THE COURIERYeah. S orry about Jerry. How long youbeen in S an Francisco?

The Courier looks over a wall covered with bootleg audiotapes. Each is a Dead show with a different date on it.

JACK STRAW(o.s.)

Eight months. I stopped touring when hedied. Twelve-hundred and fifty-twostraight shows.

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tip*THE COURIER

Looks like you taped them all.

JACK STRAW(o.s.)

Yep. Every one . Figured it was a kindof sign , you know? Jerry dying . Decidedto get back into it.

THE COURIERHow'd they know I was out here?

The Courier opens the small freezer and chips some ice offthe frozen sides.

JACK STRAW(o.s.)

Who didn't? After Cornerman told you tolook up Tann a, he started sweating like awhore at a Catholic bar mitzvah.

The Courier drops the ice chips in a cup. He looks through asmall cabinet and finds some paint thinne r. He adds this tothe ice, swirls it around, and takes a sip.

f^ JACK S TRAW (CONT'D)1 (O.S.)

He dialed everyone out here trying tocover his ass . The whole coast knew youwere coming. If you'd come to see mefirst, I would've told ya that. But youdidn't.

THE COURIERMy mista ke. Didn't know you wer e back.

The Courier pours the rest of the thinner out, and dumps theice into a tow el. He rubs the plan t leaf onto the towel andholds it against his head. He goes back to store.

JACK STRAWThe couple you ran into are M r. and Mrs.Capolill o. Real pieces of work , thesetwo. I see you got the wedding ringtreatment. They must think real highlyof you.

Jack watches a kid look over the bon gs.

JACK STRAW/tm^ (to the kid) Those are hand-carved by a guy in Mexico.

Get you high just lookin' at them.(MORE)

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JACK STRAW (cont'd)(to The Courier)

Yeah, you're lucky you're still alive.They're a couple of psychos. A real Dr.Jeckyll and Mrs . Hyde . Blood-thirstysons-of-bitches.

He sniffs the air.

JACK STRAW (cont'd)Jesus Christ You stink.

Jack waves some incense around.

THE COURIERP aint thinner.

JACK S TRAWPaint thinner?

THE COURIERIf you introduce a poison into the body,the body will fight the poison, no matterwhere it i s. I drink it, and put itagainst my eye. S hould help withinfection. The oil from the plant is asimple conductor of heat, ox in thiscase, cold.

JACK S TRAWPlant?

THE COURIERWhat's their interest?

JACK S TRAWThe Capolillos? They're still fumingabout the Doggy Deal.

THE COURIERWhat's that?

JACK S TRAWYou've never heard of the Doggy Deal?Shit, man. Tell Gilligan'hi' for mewhen you get back to the desert islandyou been on.

CUT TO:

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Am\EXT. S IDEWALK IN SUBURBIA - DAY

Mr . and Mrs . Capolillo walk arm in arm down a sidewalk infront of a row of houses that look as though they're out ofthe Cleaver's neighborhood.

They both have immense plastic smiles across their faces.

They are walking a gorgeous German Shepherd.

JACK S TRAW (V.O.)The Capolillos had this German Shepherdbitch that they loved like their ownchild, since Mrs. Cap is barren and can'thave no kids of her own , thank God. Andthis bitch is made. I mean its gotservants to feed it, bathe it, wipe itsass when it dumps on the lawn, the works,you understand? Anyways, they askedYelserp to stud it seeing as he's gotthirteen Shepherd champions himself.Real dog lovers, these guys. And the Capsthink they're doing him an honor, youknow, kissing his ass , maybe ask him ifhe wants one of the pups in a few months.

The Capolillos turn up a walkway to a stately Victorian home.The door opens and the leash to the German S hepherd is handedover.

Before the door shuts on her , Mrs . Capolillo blows kisses toher dog.

INT. YELSERP'S HALLWAY - DAY

The bitch is led down a lengthy corridor.

JACK S TRAW (V.O)Well, Yelserp's got a bug up his asscause he's received word that the Capsare skimming on hookers and guns all upand down the West Coast, you know,getting ready to make a run at the King.

It's all behind the curtain, and theythink he don't know what's going on, butthere ain't nothing goes on that Yelserpdon' t know about and that' s the damntruth. Anyway s, Yelserp's fit to kill, soyou know what he does? He goes out andbuys the ugliest mutt he can find. Imean a real bone-hound. I mean this

f^' creature is a cross between Benj i andYoda.

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The dog comes to a stop outside of a large door.

The door is pushed open to reveal the most hideously deformedmutt ever to appear in American Cinema. This mutt has oneexpression etched into its face : 'horny bastard.'

The Capolillo's bitch looks frightened as she is pushed intothe room and the door is locked behind her.

JACK STRAW (V.O)(snickers)

Yelserp's boys all start taking bets onhow many times this mutt's gonna stickher, and believe me, nobody bet the underand everybody cleaned up. When Yelserpgives the bitch back to the Caps, itdon't know whether its coming or going.

The front door opens, and the leash is handed back to theCapolillos, who look confused.

Their once beautiful German Shepherd now appears ratherdisheveled.

INT. CAPOLILLO'S KITCHEN - DAY

JACK STRAW (V.O.)But that's not the worst of it. Sixmonths later, this bitch shoots out thethree most hideous looking pups ever to

be born in N o Cal, and then keels overdead as a doornail.

Three nasty puppies roll around on the floor in front oftheir dead mother as Mrs . Capolillo screams in thebackground.

BACK TO:

INT. JACK STRAW'S HEMP S HOP - DAY

JACK STRAWThe Caps have been foaming at the mouth

ever since Yelserp went under. They'relike sharks circling around blood.

THE COURIERWhat about you?

JACK S TRAWWhat about me?

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THE COURIERYou got any ideas on where the big man'shiding?

JACK STRAWNope. N ot sure I'd tell you if I did.Tanna knew, and look where that got him.

The bong kid brings a two-footer up to the counter. Jacklooks it over, takes a practice pull.

JACK S TRAWGreat choice. Twelve bucks.

The kid empties his pockets.

KID

Only got seven.JACK S TRAW

This your first one.

The kid nods. Jack Straw mulls, and hands it over.

JACK STRAWKnock yourself out.

KIDCool, man. Thanks.

The kid leaves.THE COURIER

Tanna was right? Li spy is a Fed?

JACK STRAWThat's the word.

THE COURIERIn that case, where can I find Richter?

JACK S TRAWAll you gotta do is find where Hitler'sspeaking. You find a Hitler, you'll findRichter.

INT. GUN SHOP - DAY

The Courier enters the shop, which has animal heads coveringevery inch of the exposed walls . Guns line-up like S .S .soldiers behind glass cases.

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Right next to the door is a bulletin board covered with rightwing paraphernalia. The N .R.A., the K.K.K., Friends ofFirearms, are all represented. P lastered right in the middleof it all is a flyer for a Nazi rally.

EXT. REMOTE FIELD IN WOODS - NIGHT

A vociferous leader, HITLER, speaks from a podium at a N eo-Nazi rally. He is ferociously animated and energetic andeven wears one of those fucked-up Hitler moustaches.

HITLERYou don't think they're ready for a war?You don't think they're training rightnow to kill you? N iggers got more gunsthan the government and they're notafraid to pull the trigger They're

doing it in the ghettos everydayP racticing on each other N iggers andtriggers N iggers and triggers

INT. CABIN - N IGHT

Two Federal Ag ents, RICHTER and S ORDO, watch the rallythrough binoculars. They are average white men; Richter is afew inches taller than his partner. There are empty candywrappers all over the place.

Richter backs away from the open window.

RICHTERI'm gonna go grab some candy.

There is no reaction from S ordo.

RICHTER (cont'd)(loudly)

S ordo I'm gonna grab some more candy.

Sordo lowers h is binoculars and looks at Richter, who'sleaving.

SORDO(slurred)

Richter, grab some candy.

Sordo turns back to the window, raising his binoculars.

EXT. OUTSIDE CABIN - N IGHT

Richter opens the door of his car _ an old Cadillac _ andlocates a pack of Rolos.

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In the background, Hitler's amplified voice emanates throughthe trees.

HITLER(o.s.)

They've got girls killing girl s, kidskilling kids, niggers killing niggers,and the whole time, them leaders areplotting. P lotting. P lotting. P rettysoon, comrades, they're gonna be throughplotting and they're gonna startshooting.

Richter shuts the door, starts to walk back toward the cabin,but hears a branch SN AP overhead.

He looks up , surprised.

INT. CABIN - N IGHT

Richter enters the cabin, only now the muzzle of TheCourier's Glock 17 is pushed up against his temple.

Sordo does not look up when they enter; he continues to stareout of the window with his binoculars.

THE COURIERHey

S ordo does not move.

THE COURIERI said, 'hey'

Still no response from S ordo.

RICHTERHe's hearing impaired.

THE COURIERWhat?

RICHTERHe can't hear you. He's hearing imHe's deaf.

THE COURIERYou're kidding me.

RICHTERNo joke. Born that way. N o hearing atall.

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THE COURIERI've never heard of that. A deaf Fed.

RICHTEROh , yeah.

THE COURIERI'm surprised you guys don't have rules

RICHTERWe're a government agency, you know.Equal Opportunity and all that shit.He's real vocal about it. As much as hecan be. There's nothing goes on hedoesn't want to be a part of. I'mtalking everything. Wants to be aregular joe.

THE COURIERThat cause problems?

RICHTEROccasionally.

THE COURIERSeems like it would.

RICHTERYeah, sometimes.

Sordo, still unaware of the two behind him, picks up theheadphones next to him and puts them on. The Courier looksfor an explanation.

RICHTERHis ears get cold. S ays its lack ofblood flow. Actually, he says, "lack ofbud fo."

They both ponder this for a second.

THE COURIERGot you on Hitler detail, huh?

RICHTERYeah. Thanks to you . I followed you for5 months. Knew you better'n my own five-fingered lady, and you still got to theChief. When your markdelivers the leftfoot of Joey Zambesi to the director ofthe F.B.I., you stop getting the choiceassignments.

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THE COURIEROh?

RICHTER(translates)

We know who hired you. He's no G-man.

THE COURIER(disbelieving)

Uh-huh.

RICHTERSeriously.

(translates)The guy who hired you, showy, lots ofjewelry— talkth like thith.

THE COURIERYeah.

Richter snorts.

RICHTERHe's not a Fed. Give us some credit forChrist's sake. N o, your guy is Lispy.He's owned by a couple of locals. Realnut cases.

THE COURIEROh, yeah?

RICHTERYeah. Husband and wife twosome.

THE COURIERI' ve met ' em.

He points to his black eyeand cut forehead

RICHTER(impressed)

Got the wedding ring treatment? N ice.

Sordo starts signing energetically and Richter signs back.Obviously, they are arguing.

THE COURIER(to Richter)

What's he saying?

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THE COURIERYou better start giving me some closedcaptions.

RICHTER(translates)You've met the Capolillos?

THE COURIERYeah. S he's the muscle, he's the lip.N ice pair. Real socialites.

Richter shrugs his shoulders, and Sordo nods, pressing him tocontinue translating.

RICHTER(translates)

You know where to find them?

THE COURIERI know how to find them. But they're notwho I'm looking for right now.

RICHTERThey're the ones whohired you to delivera package to Sivle Yelserp By the way,you open it?

THE COURIERI never do.

RICHTERGood. P robably an explosive. They'resending you in to take out the King.

THE COURIERI'm not real convinced they hired me.

RICHTERYou're welcome to come back with us tothe Bureau. We've got a file telephone-book thick on Lispy. S lippery littlebastard. He works for the Caps. I canpromise you that.

THE COURIERI'll be honest with you. I don't reallygive a shit who hired me. I wascontracted to deliver a package. If youknow about me, then you know when people

^ s s a t v hire me , they don't have to worry. That's what I offer. N o worries.

(MORE)

SffitK

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THE COURIER (cont'd)I've never missed a drop and this won'tbe the first. S ee, what this world ismissing is dedication to a craft-

RICHTER(interrupting)

That's why you get paid what you getpaid, yeah, yeah, we get it. What I wassaying was , these assholes hire you, beatyou up, and...

S ordo signs to Richter.

RICHTERYeah, yeah, I'm telling him that. Beatyou up and lie to you. It's all part oftheir act to cover their asses on the offchance you are unsuccessful. What

loyalty do you have to them?THE COURIER

None.

RICHTERExactly. Here's the deal. My guess isyou don't have a clue as to where Yelserp

#*v is or you wouldn't be farting around outhere with us.

He picks up some signs from S ordo.

RICHTER(translates)

You help us nail the Caps, we'll put youon Sivle Yelserp's trail.

THE COURIERIf you knew where Yelserp w as, you'd havetaken him.

RICHTER(translates)

I don't think you understand. We've gotthe Caps on the Blue P age.

THE COURIERNo shit?

RICHTERThat's right.

THE COURIERI didn't think there was aBlue P age.

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The Courier lifts the attache Lispy gave him and places it onthe table.

Within seconds, the Police Officer appears.

POLICE OFFICERHey, how you doin? Mind coming with me?

The Courier stands.

P OLICE OFFICER (cont'd)You enjoying the mall? They have anamazing corn dog right over there.

From across the mall, S ordo and Richter watch throughbinoculars.

INT. TORTURE ROOM - NIGHTThe Courier is once again bound to the wooden chair.

Mrs. Capolillo enters like an angry bull. In her hand is theattache from Lispy, unopened.

Light reflects off her wedding ring ashes taps the case likea drum.

MRS. CAPOLILLOIt would have been so much easier for youif you would have just handed this over

when we asked you the first time.EXT. VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO STORE - N IGHT

Richter translates her words to Sordo who chews on a CherryMash.

INT. TORTURE ROOM - N IGHT

THE COURIERI don't work that way, honey.

Mrs. Capolillo's face almost comes unglued. Her big paw isalready forming a fist.

MRS. CAP OLILLOWhat the fuck did you call me?

INT VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO S TORE - N IGHT

Richter cringes and starts furiously signing to S ordo, whodoesn't really know what the hell's going on.

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RICHTER(to Sordo)

He's gonna get himself killed

SORDO(into the microphone)

You gonna git killed

RICHTERShit Okay, let's play it his way.

Richter signs to Sordo.

INT. TORTURE ROOM - N IGHT

SORDO(o.s., in the Courier's ear)

Dey are Darla and Antony Capowiwo.THE COURIER

What?

MRS. CAPOLILLOWhat?

SORDO(o.s.)

Darla and Antony.

THE COURIER

I mean, you're on your own on this one,Darla.

MRS. CAPOLILLOHow do you know my name?

THE COURIERI know a shitload more than you think.You and your husband are Darlene andAnthony Capolillo, and you work hookers,guns and narcotics for Sivle Yelserp onthe West Coast.

MRS. CAPOLILLOI think you know more about us than youshould, Courier.

INT. VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO STORE - NIGHT

RICHTERSee if she'll talk about Jake Stinsky.

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I N T. TORTURE ROOM - N IGHT

SORDO (V.O.)That 's wigh t. I know about what you andyour husband did to Jake Stinsky.

THE COURIERI know wh at you and your husband did toJack St inky.

M R S . CAPOLILLOWho?

EXT. VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO STORE - NIGHT

Richter grabs the microphone out of Sordo's hands .

RICHTER(enunciated slowly and clearly)Jake St insky

S ordo looks at Richter l ike he 's ready to take a shot at hischin.

INT. TORTURE ROOM - N IGHT

THE COURIERS tinsky or whatever h is name was . Ihear d I 'm no fool

M R S . CAPOLILLOYou've got hold of some bad information.

THE COURIERI also heard that you're the ones thathired me to deliver that envelope toYelserp .

M R S . CAPOLILLOFirst , you've said that name twice now infront of me . You say i t again and I takeout your tongue. S econd, you're aboutthe most misinformed son-of-a-bitch I 'veever met .

THE COURIEROh , cut the bullshit . If you didn' t hireme, you would've already pounded openthat case. I don' t know what your gameis . . .

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Mrs. Capolillo gingerly sets the case down on the floor,moves over to the chair, and WALLOPS The Courier in the faceagain.

She hurries out of the room.

THE COURIER(to his collar)

You guys ready to move in yet?

EXT. VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO STORE - NIGHT

S ordo interprets Richter's gestures.

SORDO(slurred)

N o good. You must get them to confess tothe killing

INT. TORTURE ROOM - N IGHT

The Courier can't understand the horrendous pronunciation.

THE COURIERWhat?

SORDO (V.O.)They must confess

The Courier still can't understand.

In a moment, the door opens and Mr . Capolillo appears.

THE COURIERYour turn?

MR. CAPOLILLOAre you trying to be a wise guy, now?

He stoops, and lifts the case.

MR. CAPOLILLOBecause we can beat that out of you.

I've seen it done. Funny guys madeserious. Loud mouths blubbering likebabies.

EXT. VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO STORE - NIGHT

Richter leans over to another Fed, who is dressed in fullSWAT regalia.

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RICHTERIf this guy p ui s out a dental drill orsomething, we're going in.

INT. TORTURE ROOM - N IGHT

THE COURIEROkay. I'm wit h you

MR. CAPOLILLOThen we understand each other?

THE COURIERSure.

MR. CAPOLILLOThis cas e. Have you opened it?

THE COURIERI never do.

MR. CAPOLILLOThen you will make a n exception to yourrule this tim e. If it was intended formy former colleague, then I would like toknow what is in it. On the other han d,if it was intended for my formercolleague, I can assure you that I'm notgoing be the one to open it.

(beat)That's why you're still alive.

He places the case in The Courier's lap, moves around behindhim and uncuf f s his hands

MR. CAPOLILLOIf you'll do the honors, I'd prefer towait in the adjoining, bomb-proof room.

When he gets to the door, The Courier s tands, ankles stillcuffed to the chair

THE COURIERThanks but no thanks.

MR. CAPOLILLOExcuse me?

THE COURIERI don't think you understand. I get paid

^ss ,̂ to deliver things unopened. That' s what^ I intend to do here. N o one' s gonna open

this case but Sivle Yelserp.(MORE)

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THE COURIER (cont'd)N ot you, not me, not that gruesomefucking wife of yours. N o one.

EXT. VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO STORE -NIGHT

Richter tries to sign this little monologue to Sordo, butcan't get the words out fast enough.

RICHTER(to the SWAT leader)

Oh , Christ, be ready.

INT. TORTURE ROOM -N IGHT

Mr. Capolillo's face starts distending like a red balloon.

MR. CAPOLILLOWhat did you say?

THE COURIERIs everybody fucking deaf around here? Isaid that as far as opening thiscase isconcerned, you can go fuck yourself.

MR. CAPOLILLO(visibly shaking)

You... you.. .

THE COURIERWhich is probably what you have to doanyway since the missus is barren asN ebraska and all. Which, when I heardthat, got me to thinking, there is a God,there must be . Could you imagine what akid of hers would look like?

MR. CAPOLILLOYou... you...

THE COURIERBy the way, how are those cute puppies ofyours doing?

EXT. VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO STORE -N IGHT

The FBI SWAT team cocks and double cocks their guns.

I N T. TORTURE ROOM -N IG H T

MR. CAPOLILLOI ' m g o i n g t o

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THE COURIERWhat? You're going to do to me what youdid to Jake Stinsky?

MR. CAPOLILLOWhat I' m gonna do to you ain' t even goingto compare with what w e did to JakeStinsky.

EXT. VAN OUTSIDE VIDEO STORE -N IGHT

Richter's ears perk up.

RICHTERThat's it That's it Move Move

The SWAT team piles out of the van.

INT. VIDEO STORE - N IGHT

The SWAT team pours into the building in a massive force.

S helves in the video store CRASH to the ground _ the S WATteam knocks over every video known to man.

They rush into the long corridor.

Half the guards split down a hall way and bust through a doorwhere Mr s. Capolillo and the P olice Officer are smokingcigarettes. Mr s. Capolillo is her typical classy self.

MRS. CAPOLILLOWhat the fuck I said, What the fuckYou can't be in here. You gotta have afucking warrant

The police officer jerks his hands in the air, looking asthough he just wet his pants.

Mrs. Capolillo yanks off her wedding ring and jams it in hermouth like a Hot Tamale.

INT. TORTURE ROOM - N IGHT

The other half of the guards burst into the Torture Room andyank Mr. Capolillo off of The Courier.

MR. CAPOLILLO(breathing heavily)

I'm gonna I' m gonna I'm gonna

The Courier picks up the case.

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SORDO(mocking)

S o what' s in that case you' re supposed todeliver?

Richter and S ordo laugh. The Courier is pissed. He standsup and leaves.

Richter talks into the cuff of his sleeve.

RICHTERGive him another day and then we'll pickhim up and get what we can out of him.

EXT. AIRPORT BAR - DAY

The Courier drinks a double Beefeater martini on the rocks.

A little depression weighs on his shoulders.

He catches his face in the mirror behind the bar and is notpleased with the reflection.

BARTENDERWhat else for you?

The Courier looks down at his empty glass.

THE COURIERNothing else.

BARTENDERYou got business today?

THE COURIERYeah. Business.

INTERCOM (V.O.)This is the final boarding call forS outhwest flight 106 to P hoenix.

The Courier stands and flips a few bills on to the bar.

INT. RETIREMENT HOME, PHOENIX - NIGHT

A jovial man, DAN, works the front desk at this trashy-looking retirement home. He has an amazing likeness to JimNabors, and looks like he may break into song at any moment.

The Courier enters.

DANWhat can I do you for?

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THE COURIERI'd like to speak with the manager.

DANPresent and accounted for.

THE COURIERHow long have you been manager

(reads his name badge)Dan?

DANBout fourteen months.

THE COURIERYou had a fella here six weeks ago thatOD'd on his toilet.

Dan looks up quickly. The Courier starts leafing throughsome yellowing brochures on the activities of the community.

THE COURIERThat the kind of place you run here, Dan?

The change in Dan's demeanor is amazing. All of a sudden, he/ ^ starts talking monotone; he's the worst actor in the world,

and he ain't about to sing anymore.

DANMr. Jones' overdose was the exception to

the rule.THE COURIER

Jones?

DANYes sir. His overdose was the exceptionto the rule.

THE COURIERS o it was drugs?

DANI am not at liberty to say.

THE COURIERSo you don't know too much about it?

DANYes sir. That's right.

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THE COURIERAnd you' re supposed to keep your mouthshut about it, huh?

Dan looks like he's about to cry.

THE COURIERCan you tell me the name of the doctorwho performed the autopsy?

DANCertainly. Dr. Wickmoreland a t St .Joseph's hospital.

THE COURIERWow. Right off the top of your head.

S weat trickles down Dan's temple. The Courier slowly turnsthe pages of the brochure. There is a picture of a smilingdoctor taking the blood pressure of a smiling elderly lady.

THE COURIER (cont'd)Do you take good care of your old folkshere, Dan?

The salesman in Dan comes out.

DANOf course. The care a resident receivesat S hady P ines is second to none. On

site nurses, medical staff just minutesaway, eight hours of planned activities aday.

THE COURIERThank you.

EXT. RETIREMENT HOME - NIGHT

Dan locks up.

In the bicycle rack, a Schwinn two-wheeler awaits its master,Dan unchains and settles on board for his short ride home.

As he crosses the street, a rented Acura SMASHES into him.His body lands on the hood and then hits the pavement.

The Courier steps out of the car, jerks Dan, who is in badshape, to his feet and quite rudely shoves him into thetrunk.

He drives over the bicycle for good measure.

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fw^\EXT. DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATER - N IGHT

The Courier opens the trunk and pulls Dan out of it. Heshoves him in the back seat and points his Glock in his face,

Over The Courier's shoulder, Dan sees a giant movie screen.The cult classic, THE WARRIORS , plays on the screen.

DAN(groggy)

What?

THE COURIERYou might be interested to know this gunis a Glock 17. It holds 17 bullets in thein the clip and one in the chamber. Incase you're not following me here, that'seighteen bullets.

Dan grunts _ he's in pain.

THE COURIER (cont'd)S trange to call it a seventeen don't youthink? N ow, who are you working for?

DANWhat are you talking about?

The Courier puts the barrel up Dan's nose, e Itwists it soit points outward, stretching Dan's nostril.

THE COURIERDan, I have to inform you that pullingthe trigger would do a couple of thingsin this instance. In your corner here,pulling the trigger would alert thepeople around us of trouble. Not in yourcorner, is the fact that whenever youtake a breath through your nose itlwhistle like a banshee protecting thegrounds of S tonehenge.

DAN

What the fuck do you want from me?

The Courier nods toward the big screen.

THE COURIERDo you like the movies?

DANf (in utter disbelief)

What?

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THE COURIERI asked if you like the movies?

DANWhat are you talking about?

THE COURIEROkay. Look over my shoulder. What doyou notice up there? Dan?

He shoves the gun farther up Dan's nose .

THE COURIERDan? What do you notice up there?

DANI don't know It's a movie.

THE COURIERN ot just a movie, Dan. The Warriors.

DANOkay. The Warriors.

He turns to watch one of the Warriors deliver a particularly^ bad line.

THE COURIERThe sad part is, Dan, you're a worseactor than these guys.

DANWhat?

THE COURIERYou were reading from a script back atthe rest home. Something someone told youto say. To be honest with you, thatmight be the worst performance I' ve everseen.

The gun is now tunneling up Dan's nose toward his brain.

DANOkay Okay You're right

THE COURIERWho paid you to tell me that bullshitabout Yelserp dying

~ DANf I can't tell you.

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THE COURIERDan, if you don't start talking, I haveeighteen bullets and I plan to use themall before the Warriors get back to ConeyIsland.

DANThey'll kill me

The Courier makes a hollow, whistling sound. Dan's nose inseconds unless-

DANOkay. Okay. Okay. I've got a numberback at the home. I'm supposed to callit anytime someone comes around askingabout M r. Jones.

THE COURIERBack at the home?

DANYeah. Yeah, man. Don't shoot me.

THE COURIERLet' s go.

The Acura's engine fires up.

EXT. LARGE HOME IN CHICAGO - DAY

A stately manor in the suburbs of Chicago. A Mercedes, fromthe Luxury S eries pulls around the circle driveway and stops.

Lispy steps out.

INT. LISPY'S HOME - DAY

The inside of this house is spacious, but morbid and dank,like the inside of a medieval castle. Lispy is quite alonein this house.

He moves through four extremely large rooms: a mead hall, anindoor pool room, an electronics room, an elegant sittingroom, before he comes to the kitchen.

He stops suddenly when he sees the Courier rummaging throughhis refrigerator.

The Courier backs away with an apple in one hand and hisGlock in the other.

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THE COURIERI've been waiting on you , you know, doingthe crossword puzzle, and I decided tohelp myself. By the way, what's a fourletter word for pain?

He shoots Lispy in the foot.

LISPY(bellows)

Fuck

THE COURIERExactly.

The bullet destroys a bowl of cat food on the floor. Lispyclutches his foot, cursing, hopping around like a flamingo.

THE COURIER (cont'd)I just grazed you. Don't be too dramaticabout this.

The Courier sets down his apple, and opens the freezer.

THE COURIERYou see, I should have started with you.That's where I made my mistake. If SivleYelserp asked you to hire me , then Ishould have figured that you'd have someinformation on where he is.

He starts looking through the drawers.

LISPYI don't know thit I never met him. Igot my order-th from th-omeone el-th.

THE COURIERYou know, that's what I figured at thebeginning. But it's funny. When I wasat this retirement home where Yelserpsupposedly kicked the bucket I was givena phone number. And I'll be damned ifthat phone number didn't ring in thishouse.

LISPYTh-o?

The Courier finds a towel and wraps some ice in it.

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THE COURIERThe assumed name. The doctor giving theautopsy report. N ice touches. P rettyconvincing. Fooled the Feds.

The Courier picks up his apple and bites into it.

THE COURIERYour number with the front desk guy,though. I'm not sure that was a goodidea. You see, that tells me you helpedfake Yelserp's death, and you gotta be inpretty tight wi th the King to help outwith something that big.

LISPYYeah? Go fuck your-thelf.

The Courier walks up close and P ISTOL-WHIPS Lispy with aright hook that starts from around his belt area.

Lispy's nose P O P S . He isn't looking so tough anymore. Hestarts to say something, but The Courier S MASHES him again.

THE COURIERA*̂ Are you going to take me to Yelserp or am• I going to keep popping you?

The Courier hands him the ice pack.

EXT. HIGH RISE - DAY

Lispy is at the wheel of his car, his nose encrusted in alayer of dried blood. The Courier rests in the backseat, hisgun in his lap.

The car rolls to a stop.

LISPYI think you be-th-t keep your pi-th-tolpointed at my head when we get out.

THE COURIER

Didn't plan otherwise.They get out and walk into the building.

INT. HIGH RISE - DAY

The entrance of the building contains a narrow hallway and anelevator.

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SECURITY GUARD THREEI ain't pressing it.

SECURITY GUARD FOURPress the button

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Upstairs, Courier and hostage open the only door in thehallway.

INT. YELSERP'S PEN THOUSE - DAY

The door opens into a massive, lush suite. A cross betweenthe edible room at Willy Wonka's and a rain forest. Thereare no windows, just dark forest all around. The faint soundof tropical birds and mood music can be heard.

THE COURIERAny more goons in here?

LISPYNo.

THE COURIERWhere is he?

Lispy pauses. This is his last chance. Die right here, orlead The Courier right to the King and fail at his only job.

LISPYFollow me.

The two move through the brush, making their way to a kind ofsmall clearing.

From a large hot tub emerges the one and only SIVLE YELSERP .

Yelserp looks like a cross between Don Corleone, a P olarBear, and a Game Cock. He is a huge man with white haircovering his torso on up, and he struts around like a prissyrooster. He is not pleased.

SIVLE YELSERP(in disbelief)

Mother Mary.

LISPYI couldn't

SIVLE YELSERPSweet Mother Fucking Mary.

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LISPYThere was no way that I could-

SIVLE YELSERPThere is always a way.(calmly, to The Courier)

Kill the little blubberin' bastard forme, would you?

Sivle Yelserp picks up a fluffy whi te towel and dries out oneof his ears. He sits at a picnic table.

THE COURIERI was going to deliver this package,Yelserp. One way or another.

The Courier lays the attache on the table. Yelserp pops itopen. A gold light glows from the case.

SIVLE YELSERPUnopened, I see.

THE COURIERAlways.

Lispy has been slowly distancing himself from The Courier,moving back against a wall.

SIVLE YELSERP

Of course. Of course. I would haveexpected nothing less.

He turns around and removes$500,000 in thousand dollar billsfrom a small cabinet The glow is still coming from thecase.

Yelserp nods toward Lispy.

SIVLE YELSERPYou've been through a lot of trouble whenyou've had the ticket in you pocket fromthe beginning.

The Courier's face shows no emotion while Yelserp laughs,sinister in the yellow light.

THE COURIERJust pay me and I'll be on my wa y.

SIVLE YELSERP« r « I should have killed the media tor, right?

1 Tha t's where I blew i.t(MORE)

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The lights go BLACK.

There is a muffled gunshot followed by the sound of breaking

glass. Muted red emergency lights come on , revealingYelserp , walking slowly toward The Courier, expressionlessHe has a perfect little hole between his eyes.

The escaped and crazed fire flies look like a laser beamsshooting though the sky.

S tanding behind Yelserp is Lispy, holding snail pistol.

LISPYOh, that-th a shame.

Yelserp just keeps moving forward, slowly. Blood begins to

seep out the hole and down his face.Lispy moves over to the desk with the gun trained on TheCourier, red and gold lights showing him the way.

Lispy picks up the phone and presses a button.

LISPYP lea-th hurry He-th killed Mr.Yeltherp

(to The Courier)The Capolillos will be very plea-thed.

The Courier realizes now that he has been set up. There is acommotion at the door.

Yelserp collapses into the Courier's arms.

THE COURIERAyiiiiiii

His scream is guttura l, starting in his chest and bellowingfrom his throat like a roaring wave.

He rushes toward Lispy using Yelserp's body as a shield.Lispy is absolutely shocked.

The Courier pushes the big dead corpse on to Lispy whotumbles over the desk and lands on his girlish butt,Yelserp's body on top of h im, just as four bodyguards burstthrough the doors like bulls out of the gate.

The Courier is gone in the brush. The fire flies arestarting to burn out and crash to the floor.

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INT. PEN THOUSE - DAY

The Courier bursts into a brightly lit room and through the

door to the next — an office,a studio,

a bedroom,

a bathroom — the guards hot on his tail.

EXT. BALCONY - DAY

The Courier crashes through a window and lands out on thegarden-like balcony. Ten German S hepherds are penned uphere, and they start barking like rabies-infested Cujos.

Luckily, the forty-fifth floor has a balcony that waterfallswith the forty-forth floor and the forty-third floor — atiered effect. The Courier leaps twenty feet to the balconyof the neighbor's below.

INT. 44TH FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY

-^ The Courier comes crashing out of the apartment door and into; the stairwell, just before the elevator full of guardpens

its doors.

S ECURITY GUARD FOUR

There he isSECURITY GUARD FIVE

The stairs

INT. 30TH FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY

On the 30th floor, he leaps out into the hallway and rushesto the elevator. The other elevator shows that its parked on35.

It closes right before the guards roar out into the hallway.

SECURITY GUARD FOURHe's going up

SECURITY GUARD TWOBack to the stairs Go Go

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

/

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INT. 35TH FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY

The elevator doors open, The Courier gets out of the car, andpresses the Level 1 buttonfor the other elevator, then jumpsback in the car he was originally in He pushes the buttonfor the sundeck.

The guards spill out of the stairwell, huffing and puffing,and see one elevator going up and one going down.

S ecurity Guard Three holds his walkie-talkie up to his mouth.

SECURITY GUARD THREEHe could be coming your way S tay alertdown there Back up Let's go

SECURITY GUARD ONECan we just wait for the fuckingelevator?

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

The elevator with The Courier is cruising up, but starts toslow on floor 36. The Courier knows he's trapped. He looksup at the trap door of the elevator. He jumps up once butits out of reach. The car stopaon floor 37 The doors areabout to open...

As many buttons as he pushes, he can't keep the doors fromopening. He's dead now. This game is over. But when thedoor opens, he finds a f at, elderly man standing in thehallway, dressed for the beach

FAT ELDERLY MANSundeck?

The Courier tips his cap and then belts the man in the face,knocking him out cold. He drags the body on to the elevator.

INT. 45TH FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY

Guards on the Forty-Fifth floor foam at the mouth as theelevator numbers count up to their floor. The doors open,they see the Courier' s body crouched in the corner of theelevator and open fire, BLASTIN G the elevator to hell.

When the dust settles, they realize their mistake --tanold guy in the Courier's clothes.

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INT. 37TH FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY

Back on the Thirty-S eventh floor, The Couriers dressed onlyin the old man's swim trunks. He tries the man's keys intoall the doors on the hallway.

Finally, Number 377 works. He turns the key and opens up onan old woman doing the Elle McPherson workout in a pinkleotard.

S he is dumbfounded to see this guy walk into her apartmentwearing her husband's trunks.

THE COURIERHello.

He walks toward her as a scream starts to mount in herthroat. He WALLOP S her in the face and a wig flies off herhead and into his hands.

EXT. HIGH RISE - DAY

Ambulances, police, fire trucks, and sundry governmentvehicles have pulled up to the building. Lispy talks with anofficer, but his eyes are flashing everywhere.

Two corpses roll out of the building on paramedic stretchers.

An elderly woman walks out, amazed by all of the activity.

Only, it's not an elderly woman, it's The Courier in drag. Hewalks away.

EXT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE COURIER'S AP ARTMEN T - DAY

The Courier cautiously rounds the corner across the streetfrom his apartment building, and sees tWffiTILITY REPAIRMENworking on the line across from it.

He notices they pull out binoculars watch carefully when aLITTLE BLACK KID carrying a large box of candy enters hisbuilding. Instead of crossing, he enters the laundromat onthe corner.

Within seconds he exits with a basket of clothes.

INT. MUSTY BOXIN G RING - DAY

Cornerman watches a boxing match between two white kids.

He doesn't turn around when he hears The Courier's voice.

THE COURIERWhat's the word, Cornerman?

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CORNERMANMust be a ghost behind me 'cuz that voicebelongs to a dead man.

The Courier is dressed in a wrinkled "I Met Bob on the P riceIs Right " sweatshirt and biking shorts.

THE COURIERIs that what you hear?

CORNERMANLeave me alone, ghost.

THE COURIERTell me what the street's saying,Cornerman.

CORNERMANStreet says you fucked over theCapolillo's and then killed Yelserp.Street says you've managed to piss offboth sides of a war you shouldn't havebeen around in the first place .

(beat)Never have told one of my fighters totake a fall. Can't imagine I ever would.But, there ain't no fight worth fightinif you ain't gotta chance to win. S treetsays if you ain't a ghost ye t, you'll beone soon and anybody that helps you gonnago down too. So leave me alone, ghost.

THE COURIERThanks for the warning.

EXT. THE BOXING RING - DAY

As he is walking outside of the building, he is rudelymanhandled and thrown into the back of a limo.

Sordo and Richter face him.

RICHTERAll dressed up and nowhere to go , huh.

THE COURIERWhat do you want from me?

S ordo chuckles.

RICHTERYou'll be dead in twenty-four hours ifyou don't yet help from us.

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SORDO(slurred)

That ' s the t ru th .

THE COURIERMaybe.

RICHTERHey, we get medals for the Capol i l l obus t .

COURIERLet ' s b low the smal l - ta lk , Richter . Whatdo you want from me?

RICHTERThe t ru th i s we 've s t i l l got one bus tlef t and we need your he lp . We wantLispy.

THE COURIERI 'm through wi th the pro bono work,fel las.

RICHTERBe reasonable . Word i s you got acontrac t o n your head the size of the

S ea r s Tower.

/*»\

THE COURIERThat's wha t I hear.

RICHTERYou'd th ink tha t a ll you been throughyou'd have f inished your job by now .

The Cour ier s i t s , not knowing where this is going.

RICHTER (cont 'd)I mea n, w ith al l the shit ydure in,you 'd have a l i t t le , you know, somethinto show for i t .

Sordo nods a long.

RICHTER (cont 'd)Even got a couple of murders under yourbel t . Elder ly couple . . .

Richter wai ts for The Cour ier ' s response .

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R I C H T E R ( c o n t ' d )We ' r e c o n f u s e d a b o u t s o m e t h i n g . W h yw o u l d t h e m o n e y a t Ye l s e r p ' s h a v e y o u rp r i n t s a l l o v e r i t ? T h a t l o o k s p r e t t ys u s p i c i o u s . D e a d m a n a n d a h a l f m i l w i t hy o u r t r a c k s a l l o v e r i t . G r a n d j u r y e a t st h a t k i n d a s h i t u p .

S o r d o s t a r t s s i g n i n g l i k e a m a d m a n . R i c h t e r t r a n s l a t e s .

R I C H T E R ( c o n t ' d )O h , y e a h .

( t o T h e C o u r i e r )We ' v e n e v e r k n o w n Ye l s e r p t o p a y i n c a s h ,e i t h e r. O n l y c h e c k s .

T H E C O U R I E RW h a t t h e f u c k a r e y o u t a l k i n g a b o u t ?

S O R D O( s l u r r e d )

H e ' s t a l k i n g a b o u t t h e f a c t t h a t y o ud i d n ' t k i l l Ye l s e r p .

T H E C O U R I E RN o s h i t , L i s p y d i d .

R I C H T E RN o , L i s p y k i l l e d t h e r a b b i t .

T H E C O U R I E RT h e r a b b i t ?

T h e limo t e a r s a r o u n d a c o r n e r.

I N T. M O R G U E - D AY

T h e b i g m e t a l d r a w e r c o m e s l u m b e r i n g o u t . A w h i t e t o e h o l d sthe t ag ' John D o e . • S o r d o y a n k s t h e s h e e t d o w n , r e v e a l i n gt h e R O O S T E R M A N

T H E C O U R I E R

Yo u ' r e t e l l i n g m e t h a t ' s n o t Ye l s e r p .

R I C H T E RT h a t ' s n o t w h a t I 'm t e l l i n g y o u . T h a t ' sw h a t t h e b l u e p a g e i s t e l l i n g y o u . T h eb l u e p a g e s a y s Yelserp's g o t c a p p e dt e e t h . M r . D o e h e r e d o e s n ' t .

/ * » N T H E C O U R I E RA n y c h a n c e t h e b l u e p a g e is w r o n g ?

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RICHTERYour purple page says you chew on theinside of your left cheek when you are

thinking.The Courier stops chewing on the inside of his left cheek.

RICHTER (cont'd)If your page turns blue, we'll know howmany squares you like to wipe with.

THE COURIERWhere's the real Yelserp?

RICHTERN o clue. Don't really care.

THE COURIERBut he's got a blue page.

Richter shrugs.

RICHTERBureau ain't interested.

THE COURIEROkay. What's the deal?

RICHTER

Word is Lispy's runnin the Caps game now.Got all their dirt. Boss is ner vous, andgave the slippery little fuck a red page.Jumped him all the way up from magenta.

SORDO(slurred)

First time in burro history.

RICHTERWe get him, we can write our tickets.Boss doesn' t want to give him a chance toreach blue. But we got no leads. Yougive us Lispy, and we don't know nothinabout you kill in Mr. and Mr s. Fitzhugh.And you get the chance to save your ass.

THE COURIEROkay. I'm in. You got guys at my place.

S ordo signs something to Richter.

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RICHTERYour building is getting new cable as wespeak.

THE COURIERCall them off. I'll get back to you.

RICHTERFair enough. How much time you got?

THE COURIERNoon Sunday.

RICHTEROkay. Deal' s off Saturday at midnightNo Lispy, we pick you up for three

murders.THE COURIER

Nothing like justice.

INT. NIPPY JONES' APARTMENT - NIGHT

A bass beat pounds the walls of Nippy Jones' penthouse. Thescene looks like a polyester bomb exploded on the set of "InLiving Color"... smooth daddys with sharp cuts and bootybabes with nails like Freddy Keiger work each other over.

INT. BACK ROOM OF NIPPY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

NIPPY JONES leans over a shot at the pool table. He is thegreasiest, skinniest, squealiest little pisser in the joint.But its his j oint. His POSSE sits around, doting on hisevery move. Nippy slams the nine ball in and lets out asqueal.

NIPPY JONESGoddamn, I'm good Like the ball hadeyes

POSSEYou're good, Nippy Nothin' but eyes

N ippy turns to a chalkboard where they are keeping score.The board is covered with various names spelled wrong andbackwards. He writes in an elementary scratch:

yppNi $002

Nobody minds that Nippy is so fucking stupid.

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INT. LIVING ROOM OF NIP P Y'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

There is a KN OCK at the door. The Immense Black P risoner

answers it. It's The Courier. The IBP grabs him and pickshim up in a bear hug.

IMMENSE BLACK PRISONERHey, Mr.Courier Thought you were dead.

THE COURIERWhoa Hey

The Courier is in pain. The P risoner puts him down.

IMMENSE BLACK PRISONERSay man, you ever need anything, you just

say the word. And the word, is Tony.THE COURIER

Yeah, thanks, Tony. N ippy here?

IMMENSE BLACK PRISONERDumb little nigger's in back, brother.Come on.

Tony (the Actor Formerly Known as the IBP) almost carries TheCourier into the other room. They move through the group,The Courier a marshmallow floating in a cup of hot chocolate.

The two enter the back room.

TONYYo, N ippy Look who's here

N ippy's eyes get huge.

NIPPY JONESWhoa-whoa-whoa It's the goddamnCourier Thoughts you was dead

THE COURIERN o. N ot yet, anyway.

NIPP Y JONESWell, shits me downs a hole... I guessnot. You can see my gee An-tone-eestandin here spittin craps. Yo shit beCaddy in my house. Talkin 1 gold trimmofo

THE COURIERThat's great.

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The Courier looks around the room, sees the messed up board.

THE COURIER (cont'd)

See they let you keep score again, Nippy.NIPPY JONES

Shit yo. Make's sure my ass winsthataway.

Nippy smiles a gap-toothed smile andwalks to a wet bar.

NIPPY JONES (cont'd)What you drinkin?

THE COURIERHow about a ginger ale?

The Courier is looking at the chalkboard. Everything isspelled wrong and half the letters are backwards.

Nipy snaojLesserGrrranyenoryt

The Courier cocks his head, trying to decipher theNippySpeak.

NIPPY JONESGinger? Got a bitch names Amber. NoGinger, though.

Nippy is a dumb man.

THE COURIERYeah, okay. Gimme a beer.

He looks back to the board.

THE COURIERYou ever go to school, Nippy?

NIPPY JONES (cont'd)I don'ts know if Amber is here today.Saw the ho' last monf, if I think myselfcorrectly.

(to a P osse member)Tyrone, Amber here today?

TYRONEAmber? Who the fuck's Amber? Cat justwants a beer.

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NIPPY JONESA beer? Then gets him a goddamns beer.

TYRONEYeah, man.

TYRONE grabs a passing babe.

TYRONEWhat's your name?

BABEGinger.

TYRONEGet Mr. Courier a beer.

BABEFuck you.

THE COURIERTell you what, forget it. I'm good.

NIPPY JONESWhatever, my man. Whats can we do foyou?

THE COURIERI might be looking for some support.

NIPPY JONESWhat? Backups a minute What you meanby that?

Tony has had enough of this.

TONYThe man is looking for some assistance.Some succor.

NIPP Y JONESS uck whore? S hit, looks around.

TONY(to The Courier)

What you need?

Tony grabs a beer out of the fridge, hands it to The Courier.

THE COURIERJust some info, first.

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TONYShoot.

The Courier nods at the open door to the rest of theapartment.

TONYAll ya'll get the fuck out.

NIPP Y JONESYeah, gets the fuck out.

The P osse removes itself. Tony shuts the door.

NIPPY JONESWhatever yo needs, yo gots.

TONYAnything.

THE COURIERI'm having trouble with a delivery.

TONYGo on.

THE COURIERThe guy I'm supposed to deliver to isdead.

NIP PY JONESThas a problem.

THE COURIERYeah.

TONYWhat you delivering?

THE COURIERI don't know. A case.

NIPPY JONESYou don' t know whats init?

THE COURIERNo.

NIPP Y JONESWell, check it out

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TONYMight be the timeto look inside Gainan edge.

THE COURIERI can't.

TONYThe cat's dead. What's it gonna hurt?The case may have a clue, your payment,whatever...

NIPPY JONESWhas it gonna hurts? Whatever...

THE COURIERI don t know. Just can't.

TONYAll right. Dude's dead, I assume yonevested in this delivery heavily, mostlikely your ass. And you ain't got dick.

THE COURIERLong and short of it.

TONYWhy come to us.

THE COURIERLike I said: Info. Backup.

NIPPY JONESInfo Suck whord

TONYSo who can you talk to to get the word?

The Courier takes a pull of his beer.

THE COURIERWhat's that club in the deep end with allthe bi's?

NIPPY JONESBi's?

THE COURIERYou know, transvestites. Fags.

TONYYou talkin' about the S wizzle S tick.

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INT. THE S WIZZLE STICK N IGHTCLUB - N IGHT

This place is packed with more six foot women than the WN BA.But they are the real kind, where you aren't quite sure if itreally is a guy, and you really don't want it to be.

The Courier sneaks in, dressed in the clothes he lifted offthe workout lady, Mrs. Fitzhugh He's like Aunt Bea at theP aladium. He follows a group in dressed like the Spice Girlsand sits at a small table near the wall. Within the firstfifteen seconds he's there , every guy in the place has givenhim the big eye.

The first guy in for the kill is a six-fi,veMexican, MARILYNMONROE.

MARILYNBuy you a drink, M rs. Cleaver?

THE COURIERYeah, sure. Whiskey.

Marilyn huskily grabs a passing waiter dressed like KERISTRUG.

MARILYNBottle of Walker. Black.

KERI STRUG(squeaky voiced)You got it.

He/She limps away.

MARILYNS o. What's your story?

THE COURIERN o story. Just out.

MARILYNMy ass, you're just out. What you want,baby?

THE COURIERS ome company, I guess.

MARILYN(seductively)

Well, you got that.

Ms . Monroe leans in close and licks The Courier up the cheek.He swallows his repulsion and his pride .

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THE COURIERN ot so fast. Girl's gotta drink.

Keri Strug limps back with a bottle. S he pours two glasses.MARILYN

Perfect Ten, baby.

KERI STRUG(squeaking)

Thank you.

A big Russian looking Bela Karoylidressed in a red, white,and blue coaches warm-up comes by, scoops up Keri and theydisappear. The Courier and Marilyn toast and drink.

THE COURIERI need help.

MARILYNAnything, baby.

THE COURIERI want to teach somebody a lesson.Somebody who did me bad.

MARILYNYou want me to help you make someonejealous?

THE COURIERKind of. But I don't know if he's here.He used to talk about this place... outby the lake...

The Courier's voice trails off.

THE COURIER (cont'd)Maybe you've seen him. Because if he'shere, with one of his bitches, I surecould use some company tonight.

MARILYNWhat's he look like baby? I knoweveryone here.

THE COURIERKind of skinny, but with a cute littlepaunch. S trawberry hair. Wears pink lipgloss.

MARILYNDoes he talk funny?

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1 INT. V.I.P. ROOM - N IGHT

A small Asian man waits at the top of the stairs, standingbehind a velvet rope. Apparently, he is the bouncer.

BOUNCERHiro, Mariryn.

(to The Courier)Who you are?

MARILYNShe' s with me.

THE COURIER(slurred)

I'm with her.

BOUNCEROkay, then.

He undoes the rope. The room is long dinnarrow, both sidesare lined with plush couches and round ta bles. Man-babes ofall shapes and sizes casually sit back and listen to the beatof The Go-Gos. At the end of the room is a door. The sign

/m \ on the door reads: Laidies Room. Two large men stand in1 front of the door.

MARILYNHe' s in there.

The Courier picks a drink up off a nearby table, downs it.

THE COURIERLet' s go.

The two walk through the room. The Courier does 360's asthey move forward, seemingly enamored with the scene. "WeGot the Beat" is getting louder.

During his spi ns, we see The Courier's face as his back is toMarilyn and the bathroom. For a moment, his face changes.He's in total control, and BACK AT THE BOUNCER The Courier

sees something he likes.BOUNCER

(o.s.)Hey, big man Where you think you goin?

INT. V.I. P. LAIDIES ROOM - NIGHT

f0 ̂ The walls are covered with mirrors. Lispy is sitting in adeep wicker chair, wearing a housecoat.

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He is petting a cat, while a littleMEXICAN MAMressed likea housemaid paints hi s toenails. A movable rice-paper wallseparates him from the door.

A puzzled look crosses his face as he hears a scuffleoutside.

S uddenly, his ricepaper world comes crashing down.

Looming in front of him like a gigantic black shadow is theImmense Black Prisoner, Tony.

TONYYour men is dead.

He lifts Lispy off the chair and shows him. The twobodyguards have been dragged in to the room, their necks

craned to absurd angle s. The Mexican maid scrambles out ,past a screaming and crying Marilyn.

The Courier saunters in and rips off his wig.

LISPY(gasping)

I can't th-top the forth-es that are inmotion.S P N

THE COURIERYou better start thinking of a way,Newton.

LISPYThere'-th nothing I can do . The men wantyour blood.

TONYYou want me to pop his neck?

LISPYIt doe-thn't matter what you do to me.They're not gonna th-top until you'redead.

THE COURIEROkay, Tony. Do it.

LISPYWait

The Courier turns back around.

THE COURIERYou got something you want to say?

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LISPYYe-th. Ye-th. P lea-th. I know a way toclear you. But you gotta let me down.

THE COURIERYou can talk from there.

LISPYPlea-th. Ju-tht give me a th-econd here.

The big guy looks at The Courier for directionwho nods. Hesets Lispy on to the ground and folds his huge arms acrosshis barrel chest.

LISPYYou th-ee, all of that Yelserp th-tuff

was just a bluff.The prisoner slaps Lispy on the back of the head, amused.

TONYSpeak correctly.

LISPYI've got a fucking li-thp, all right?

The big guy laughs.

THE COURIER

Who was it you killed?LISPY

Yeltherp, who else?

THE COURIERWho is Sivle Yelserp?

LISPYHes'th the King. Or at least he wasuntil I popped him.

THE COURIER

Bullshit. Where's the real Yelserp?LISPY

What do you mean?

THE COURIERDon't give me that, Lispy. I know theguy you killed was a rabbit.

LISPYYou're inthaneI

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THE COURIERN ot according to the blue page.

LISPYThe blue page? Those-th are real?

THE COURIERYep.

LISPYThis is-th all a bit perplexthing. I'veonly dealt with the dead Thivel Yeltherp.

Every time he lisps, Tony can't help laughing.

LISPY(furiously)

Get thi-th big animal off my back

THE COURIER

Okay. Back off, T.

Tony turns around, so as to cut off his laughter.

^ ̂ Lispy controls his temper, collects himself.LISPY

I don't give a shit if he'th dead or not.But if he's not the real Yeltherp, you

can be guaranteed you are a dead man.Becauth the real one will think you triedto kill him. And if the real Yeltherp isdead, and you let thith animal kill me,you'll have no leadsth what-thoever, andno one to call off the dogs-th.

A commotion is heard outside the door, men screaming likewomen and feet pounding the stairs. There is a pounding atthe door.

VOICEOpen up F.B.I.

LISPYThit

Lispy turns and starts to climb the paper dispenser toward alittle window near the ceiling. The door bursts open,armored F.B.I. AGENTS pour in.

f**, AGENTSFreeze F.B.I. Freeze

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The Courier and Tony raise their arms. Lispy, who is halfwayup the wall and hanging on to the window, throws back hishousecoat and pulls a pearl-handled pea shooter out afthigh holster. He takes a shot at the cops.

THE COURIERN o

Lispy is splattered against the wall before he can get a shotoff.

INT. FBI INTERROGATING ROOM - DAY

The Courier sits at a wooden table while two new Feds grillhim.

NEW FEDWhat the hell did you think you weredoing there, Jack-off?

THE COURIER(coolly)

You haven't been listening.

The Courier looks at his watch.

NEW FEDN o. You're the one who's not listening.

The door opens and Richter and Sordo walk in.The Fed who's been interrogating the Courier looks like he'sabout to go ballistic.

RICHTER(to the New Fed)

Beat it, P hil.

NEW FEDThis is my bust, Jack-off.

Richter holds up a blue page and the N ew Fed's eyes grow wideas plates.

RICHTER(angry)

You still want it?

NEW FEDN o, man. That's all right. We. .. we'refinished here. He's all your s.

He and his partner quickly leave.

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Richter moves quickly around the table and hooks the Courierunder the arm.

RICHTERLet's go.

EXT. CHICAGO S TREET - DAY

Sordo drives a sedan while Richter and Courier talk in theback seat.

RICHTERWhat were you doing at the Swizzle Stick?

THE COURIERWhat the hell do you think I was doing?Trying to help you guys.

RICHTERYou were supposed to call us before youmade a move.

INT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY

r They walk down a long row of empty pews towards an opencasket.THE COURIER

Yeah, why? So you a-holes could come

kill my only lead?RICHTER

You didn't call us I could have stoppedit.

S ordo starts signing madly. Richter reads his message.

RICHTERS ordo says he knew we couldn' t trust youand we had to have you tailed.

THE COURIER

Trust me?(beat)It doesn't matter.

They get up to the coffin. Laid out inside is the SivleYelserp rabbit.

THE COURIERf0** What are we doing here?

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RICHTERDo you know who this is?

THE COURIERI know it's not Sivle Yelserp.

RICHTERHis name is Bradle