created for connection presented by: tim stauffer ma, pc-cr @ vineyard 180 july 2 nd, 2012...
TRANSCRIPT
Created for ConnectionCreated for Connection
Presented by: Tim Stauffer MA, PC-CR
@ Vineyard 180 July 2nd, 2012
(614)949-6227www.timstauffercounseling.com – [email protected]
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”…But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.23
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, for she was taken out of man. ”24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Gen 2:18, 20-25
Created for Connection
We are hard wired to be relationally connected with God, our spouse and others.
To know and be known To Love and be Loved
To desire and be desiredTo be heard and to hear
To affirm and to be affirmedTo respect and be respectedTo pursue and be pursuedTo chose and be chosen
To be safe, secure, significantTo be connected spiritually, emotionally, physically
The Great Disconnection
1. The Human Experience is Fallen/Sinful/Broken2. Personal Disconnection
Trauma—sins committed against us Personal Choices—sins we commit on our own volition Unresolved Relational Conflict Emotional Distance – self preservation Blocked Goals – anger Exposure and Shame
Sexual Addiction Solidifies Disconnection Purchases cheap but powerful substitutes
The Great Cost - Depression- Feelings of meaninglessness- Guilt & Shame- Addictions- Distorted Thinking- Emptiness- Sadness- Fears of intimacy- Disconnection from reality – Dissociation - Anxiety & Panic - Anger or Rage - Fantasy - Excessive care giving
Reconnection
Achieving God’s created intent for us.-- Real, Present, Transparent, Alive – no shame
Empathy------------------------------------------------ShameVulnerability
Reconnection
Connection is at the essence of what it means to be human.
Empathy------------------------------------------------ShameVulnerability
DisconnectedI am a mistake If you really knew me = REJECTIONI am not lovableMy sins are worseMy needs are not validI cannot measure upI cannot appear weak Empowered by silence-secretsNumbs emotion – Kills Empathy
Reconnection
Connection is at the essence of what it means to be human.
Empathy------------------------------------------------ShameVulnerability
Connected“Me Too”Present—here and now Listening without blameSeeks to understand—not be understoodUnderstands from the context of personIs selflessSeeks the good of othersPromote IntimacyEmpathy Kills Shame
Reconnection
Connection is at the essence of what it means to be human.
Empathy------------------------------------------------ShameVulnerability
Characteristics of VulnerabilityRequires Courage, Strength, and RiskIt opens the heart to loveIt is not WEAKNESSFosters CreativitySpawns new ideasBirthplace of Joy and belonging Essential for FaithHonest, Transparent, RealRuthless Trust
Vulnerability slides on the track of confession and repentance
Reconnection
Connection is at the essence of what it means to be human.
Empathy------------------------------------------------ShameVulnerability
Healthy Vulnerable BehaviorsRepentance Gratitude Respectful requestsAsking for help – Allowing others to help youSharing thoughts and feelings w/out expectationsTell your life story—success and shame Set healthy boundaries Confession, Forgiveness, LoveConfront, Exhort, Rebuke
Reconnection
Connection is at the essence of what it means to be human.
Empathy------------------------------------------------ShameVulnerability
Unhealthy Vulnerable BehaviorsVerbal Vomit Emotional Story-Telling w/out relational developmentFalse HumilityTaking responsibility w/ Blame shiftingSharing thoughts and feelings but loaded with expectations
Outcomes of Connection Joy—Peace—Rest Deeper levels of Intimacy Increased relational satisfaction Reduction of depression, stress, anxiety & fear Greater sense of Life purpose & mission Ability to set healthy boundaries Mature Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally, Socially