critical incident grab pack - babcock ldp€¦ · web viewif you feel you are continuing to have...

Babcock LDP Educational PsychologyCritical Incident Pack (2020) Page 27

Critical Incident Pack:

Information for SchoolsCOVID – 19 Response

Contents

Definition and Contingency Planning 2

Support from the Educational Psychology Service 3

Guide for those responding to the first communication of tragic news 3

Planning Checklist 5

Emergency Contacts 7

Guidance Notes 9

The Best Support 12

Self-Care Checklist 13

Sample Letter 14

In the Event of a Suicide 15

Bereavement Charities Contact List 16

Reading Resources 17

Appendix 19

When a Parent Dies 20

Talking to Children about the COVID-19 pandemic 21

Talking to Teenagers about the COVID-19 pandemic 23

Talking to Children and Young People about serious illness 24

Children in Mind Leaflet 25

Supporting Bereaved Colleagues during COVID-19 27

Supporting Bereaved Children and Young People 29


Critical IncidentsA Critical Incident is defined as a single incident or a sequence of incidents which: Are sudden and unexpected. Contain real or imagined threats to a person. Overwhelm usual coping mechanisms. Cause severe disruption. Are traumatic to anyone.

Critical Incidents you may face in the coming weeks may include: Death of a pupil or a member of staff. Sudden death of a primary carer which could be a parent or grandparent. Deaths of friends, family and other loved ones affecting pupils and members of staff. Closely occurring deaths and/ or serious illnesses leading to the experience of trauma

across the local community.

Contingency Planning – Please be wise before the event…. Work with your staff to identify some of the possibilities that may occur in your setting.

There is an increased risk of critical incidents both within schools and in wider communities as a result of COVID -19.

Maintain a list of contacts and phone numbers and keep this up to date and easily accessible to a range of key people. This should include contact details for public health as it is possible that there will be additional practical measures relating to health and safety for critical incidents involving the covid-19 virus. (See emergency contacts table on page 7)

Ensure that the school’s list of addresses and telephone numbers of next of kin is up to date.

Ask staff to leave contact numbers and addresses in vacation times. Ensure that all of this information is accessible whatever the situation. Share the “guide to support the conversation when someone shares tragic news”

including with staff who will be working in school during holiday periods (see page 3).


Support from the Educational Psychology ServiceThe Educational Psychology Service is available to support schools and settings to manage critical events. We use approaches based on evidence based good practice founded on helping schools to manage, and can offer advice and support on communication, practical arrangements and managing emotions.No two incidents are the same. However there is a recognised pattern, and, over time, most adults and children will be able to move on with their lives without needing professional counselling.

We believe that help and support to children and young people is best delivered by trusted familiar adults as and when it is needed. There is guidance on talking to children and people in later sections of this pack, with specific guidance on talking to children and to teenagers about the COVID-19 pandemic. (see pages 20, 21 and 23)

We offer: Help with communicating information to members of staff, children and families: Forms of

words to express regret whilst mitigating against additional anxiety. Support to staff: How to talk about the range of responses to grief and loss and how to

manage them. Advice on group support for students to share feelings. Identification of and planning for vulnerable children. Ideas about practical issues such as memorials / books of condolences. Follow up during the days following the incident to discuss any further issues that arise.

If, after a period of time, there are members of the school community who show signs of continued distress, the EP will discuss this with you and signpost to further sources of appropriate support.

Guide for those responding to the first communication of tragic newsThis conversation requires a calm, steady, quiet and sensitive approach. It will be important to allow the person to tell their story, and to listen.You might want time to take a breath and steady yourself. It is okay to ask for a pause, for example to get something to note down contact details and important information.


Demonstrate that you are listening through occasional gentle responses. These could be empathetic sounds or short phrases like “Oh I’m so sorry”, “I’m listening”, “Take your time”.Leave pauses so that the caller does not feel hurried and has time to gather their thoughts.Allow the caller to tell their story in their words and in their own time and avoid asking questions.You can check that you have heard and understood by paraphrasing back, for example “You said that he died at home last night, Is that right?” and again leave pauses so that the caller can correct you.

When the conversation reaches a natural break, explain that you need to take very clear notes of the important information. Obtain as much accurate, factual information about the critical incident as possible. Bear in mind that it is very easy for rumours to spread: uncertainty or misinformation can greatly add to distress levels, create confusion and will take time and effort to correct.

Before ending the call, check that you have collected sufficient factual information and the personal and contact details of the person you are talking to. (see the table below)As soon as the call ends inform the senior management team, who are advised to take actions in line with the planning checklist (page 5)

After alerting others it is important that you give yourself time to process the information and your own thoughts and feelings before getting back to work. It may be helpful to share your reaction with a colleague.

Who has called? First or given name:Surname:

Position Relationship with the person or family affected

Contact details for getting in touch later

What happened?

What is the nature of the incident?When did it happen?

Who has been affected?For example note the names and ages of children attending the school


Who else has been contacted?Who else is offering support?

Ask the caller “what else is it important for you to tell us?”

Planning ChecklistTask Who? When? Key

contact and details

Completed (date)

Obtain the facts HT/ senior leader

Immediately

Contact management team

First hours

Contact Babcock Lead for the Learning Community

Within hours Babcock lead for LC

Notify governors As above

Seek additional health guidance where needed and follow public health guidance

As above

Reconsider RAG rating of risk to children attending the school/ setting

As above

Contact immediate family to discuss the information they consent to share

First day


Seek advice on any media interest

As soon as possible

Alert Educational Psychology Service

First day

Consider whether involvement with Early Help is appropriateIdentify those individuals in greatest need of support

First/ second day

Agree on factual communications To all staffTo familiesTo pupils

First day if possible

Seek consent for support for pupils

Before support can be delivered

Arrange debriefing for all staff affected

First / second day

Be alert to those whose memory of past trauma and loss might be triggered and seek support as the need arises

Discuss acts of remembrance with family and those most affectedImplement any which are immediate e.g. web page for condolence messages. Commit to plans which are for the longer term

First week


Emergency ContactsName of School:(please make sure that this document is regularly updated)

Role Name Home Phone MobilePhone

Time Contacted

Headteacher

Deputy Head

Leadership Team

Administrator/Bursar

Chair of Governors

Vice Chair of Governors

LA Emergency Contact01392 [email protected]

Babcock Lead for the Learning Community

LA Press Office01392 383855 01392 282173


mailto:[email protected]


Educational Psychology

01392 [email protected]

School nurse

South0333 234 1901North0333 234 1904Exeter0333 234 1902East0333 234 1903

Social serviceshttps://www.devon.gov.uk/help/contact-us/local-offices/childrens-social-care/

CAMHS

Education Welfare 01392 [email protected]

Local religious organisation

Early Help

Northern Devon: [email protected] Devon: [email protected] and East Devon: [email protected]: [email protected]











https://www.devon.gov.uk/help/contact-us/local-offices/childrens-social-care/

https://www.devon.gov.uk/help/contact-us/local-offices/childrens-social-care/




Guidance NotesInformation Related Issues

The Learning Community Leads will be able to support with contacting the LA and other agencies. Other agencies able to provide support or access to resources include Educational Psychology, CAMHS, Early Help, the school nurse, local churches etc. It would be helpful to maintain an up to date list of local agencies and their contact details on the template provided.

It is highly likely that the media will be in contact with the school. It is vital to consider how this will be dealt with and it is highly recommended that contact is made with the LA press officer. This officer will be able to act on the school’s behalf (if requested to do so) and provide appropriate support regarding press releases etc. Where schools wish to deal directly with the media this should be channelled through a member of staff who acts as the nominated media liaison representative. Other staff members should pass on requests for information to this nominated person.

Prepare a brief, written statement (using that prepared for the press for guidance) which can be used by the school secretarial staff to respond to phone calls from parents etc. Such a statement should be updated as appropriate when new information becomes available. This is to ensure the consistency of the information being disseminated.

It may be advisable to ensure that school-based records or information about the children who have been involved are collated and removed to a secure place for a time in case there is a need for further investigation.

Informing Parents

Prepare an email informing parents / carers of the facts of the incident as soon as you are able. Depending on the circumstances, it may also be necessary to provide additional health information or contact numbers where such information can be obtained. This is particularly important where parents/ carers may have concerns for their own child’s health or well-being.

The families of close friends or class members of the pupil(s) / staff who have died may also be reassured to be provided with information about how to support each other regarding loss and bereavement.

Remember that churches or other religious or community based groups may be able to provide support at this time, but be sensitive and alert to religious and/or cultural sensitivities for individual families.

Consider the possible involvement of Early Help.


Supporting Pupils and Staff

It is generally felt that keeping as much ‘normal structure’ as possible is beneficial – this is to ensure some stability in the lives of pupils at a time of crisis. Remember that Feelings and expressions of grief are normal, appropriate and healthy.

As with any ‘emotionally charged’ experience, it is important for staff to remain aware of confidentiality issues, and respond appropriately to information or concerns shared with them by their pupils.

Identify and make available designated places on line/school web link for children to go for reflection time or for expressions of emotion.

Consider contributions to a book or a blank display board to share memories and thoughts.

Offer appropriate reassurance and have plenty of tissues available. Keep staff regularly updated and supported. Providing comfort for distressed pupils is

a difficult and draining task; all staff – including the senior management team, need the opportunity to express their own feelings. Having the time and space for this to happen is essential. The Educational Psychology Service will be available as a point of contact for members of staff throughout the COVID-19 outbreak. Please liaise with the Babcock LC lead to ensure that we signpost people to the most appropriate form of support to meet their needs.

Be alert for individual staff or pupils who may be particularly vulnerable to such events due to their own particular circumstances.

During the Days Following the Event

Contact families directly affected to express sympathy. Ensure that a member of staff makes contact with any pupils who may have been

affected. Establish procedures for identifying and monitoring the wellbeing of vulnerable pupils. Encourage pupils and staff to be open with their feelings and memories e.g. collections

of photographs. Some children may not know that they are ‘allowed’ to talk about the person who died. They should be.

Ascertain details of the funeral arrangements. Many are being streamed on line for people to observe when they cannot be there in person. Allowing children and young people to observe the funeral may help in their grieving process. Permission of their parents needs to be obtained.

Activities that promote community solidarity can be helpful during stressful times. Continue to ensure that staff members have the opportunity (perhaps with the help of

outside support) to deal with their own feelings, both about the incidents and the distress of the pupils.


Subsequent Weeks and Months

The impact of the ‘critical incident’ is likely to continue to be felt for a considerable time.

It will be important to be vigilant and to monitor pupils and staff so that any signs or symptoms of delayed grieving can be identified and appropriate action taken. Pupils should be clear about who they can talk to, and those providing the listening service need to be clear about their role, boundaries and confidentiality issues.

Good home-school links will encourage the early reporting of difficulties being experienced in the home.

Be aware of the potential power of anniversaries of the incident, or of the deceased person’s birthday etc. in reawakening feelings of distress.

Consider whether a school-based memorial would be helpful and appropriate. Always check this out with the family first. This could take the form of a service or ceremony, dedicated piece of equipment or furniture, an award, an area of the school grounds etc. Planning a memorial can in itself be a therapeutic act, even where a period of time must elapse before the event can happen. Such an event can acknowledge that an incident is over. Be aware that the usual processes and supports for grieving are likely to be impeded or inaccessible due to COVID 19 and this may have an impact on individuals. Learning Communities are advised to consider ways to offer support remotely and provide opportunities for the community to come together virtually or online. The Learning Community should consider what support local community groups can offer.

Further suggestions for remote support include – setting a time and date to have a minute of reflection and remembrance/ lighting a candle for the person, memories and drawings of remembrance being uploaded to the school website and a message from the head teacher on the school’s website.


The Best SupportThere is no ‘best way’. The most useful guideline is to try and communicate that you care. It is probably better that you don’t have preconceived ideas about what is the best way to help as different people will appreciate different approaches and acts.

Here are a few guidelines to consider:

What to say? In the initial stages you may need to say very little. Take your cues from the mourner. You can be very supportive by providing quiet company, and listening.

Religious messages. For people who are not religious comments about God or Allah may be hurtful or annoying.

Take care with the use of humour. Whilst it is a good idea to ‘lighten’ the atmosphere, what is humorous for one person will not seem funny to another and may be seen as an attempt to minimise the loss.

Be yourself. Be realistic. Avoid offering to do or give what you are not able to follow through. Avoid clichés – ‘Life just has to go on’ or ‘Time is a great healer’ etc. Don’t probe for details about the effect of the situation or trauma but be a good willing

listener if the person wants to talk about it. Be available and sympathetic. Learn to accept silence. Don’t feel that you have to force a conversation, chatter on

aimlessly, or force socialisation. Avoid talking to people about disclosures of another person. Avoid making assumptions. Do not attempt to tell the mourner how he or she feels, e.g.

“you must feel really angry…”. Ask naive questions such as, “I was wondering if you felt a bit sad this morning in the playground, or whether you were just cold?”

You may, particularly at first, feel awkward or uncomfortable trying to help or express your concern to people who have had a devastating personal experience. Possibly the best way over this is to concentrate on the other person (rather than yourself) at the time.

Responding to traumas and other major disasters can be extremely exhausting, traumatic and overwhelming at times, for the community as well as those directly affected. If you are in a ‘helping role’ or in a position of responsibility you will have particular demands made upon you and you are likely to make heavy demands on yourself. Try to take care of yourself, so that you are better able to, in turn, help others.


Self-Care Checklist

This is for anyone who is touched by the Critical Incident, whether directly or indirectly, e.g. office staff, family, friends - all should consider their own needs.

Immediate:Ideally find someone to talk to (colleague, friend, partner) within the first 12 hours. If there is no one, sit quietly and go over the events in as much detail as possible. Carry out your own debrief in drawn/written form. In addition:

Ask yourself/a colleague 'is my continued involvement appropriate?'

Ask 'do I need immediate back-support for other work?'

Tell a partner/family about your involvement because you may not feel sociable or you may feel angry etc. (NB - they may not be willing listeners).

Short Term:Share your experience with colleagues. Participate in personal/team discussion both for support and sharing of experiences.

Be aware that you may experience physical and emotional effects such as fatigue, anxiety, depression, irritability, aggression, anger, etc. which are normal reactions.

Consider setting up a ‘buddy’ system so that everyone is able to support each other.

Long Term:Be gentle with yourself! Remember that we can’t ‘fix’ everything and we are bound to feel helpless at times. Caring and being there are sometimes more important than doing.

Give support, encouragement and praise to peers and to management. Learn to accept it in return.

At the end of each day, focus on a positive thing that occurred during the day.

Take time to care for yourself, and engage in hobbies or relaxing activities.

If you feel you are continuing to have intrusive thoughts about the event and these feelings are not lessening after a few weeks, you may need some more support. Your GP may be able to signpost you to relevant help.


Sample LetterAddress line 1Address line 2Address line 3

Post Code

Date

Dear Parent/Carer

It is with great sadness and regret that I am writing to inform you about the death of (name and details of deceased, include outline details of what happened).

I want to reassure that you that telephone support and guidance is available to help the staff and pupils who are attending school. For children who are not currently attending, parents and carers should contact the school to access support.There is guidance attached to this letter for ways of talking to your child and maintaining a routine as far as possible.

The Educational Psychologist will be available to provide additional support.

If you have any concerns then you are most welcome to make contact with the school.

Yours sincerely

Your NameHeadteacher


In the Event of a SuicideThere is formal procedure for alerts when there is a suicide:

The EP service will alert the Single Point of Access (SPA) through the following number: 03300245321

Alternative e-mail contact: [email protected] - This will go to a pre-referral duty box which is checked daily

Where possible and appropriate, a joined up approach with CAMHS should be offered to the school starting with an initial joint meeting with the school’s senior leaders. The role of EPs and CAMHS should be jointly agreed.

Sometimes there is a delay in the EPS receiving notifications of a suicide. Therefore, in addition to the above, a Senior CAMHS manager will contact the PEP to inform the service of a suspected suicide or sudden death of a CYP of school age or in an education setting. The PEP will inform the SEP who will arrange a response with the school EP.

A CAMHS manger will be linked to the school to create an awareness of the ‘ripple effect’ of suicide and possible repeats (this is linked to safeguarding).

Onward referrals may include:

Kooth Online Counselling Service: www.kooth.comPete’s Dragon www.petesdragons.org.uk

Resources

Papyrus conversation starters – suicide https://papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/papyrus_conversation_starters.pdf

Papyrus – Building Suicide Safer schools and colleges; a guide for teachers and staffhttps://papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/toolkitfinal.pdf

Samaritans – Support for schoolshttps://media.samaritans.org/documents/samaritans-help-when-we-needed-it-most.pdf


https://media.samaritans.org/documents/samaritans-help-when-we-needed-it-most.pdf

https://papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/toolkitfinal.pdf

https://papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/papyrus_conversation_starters.pdf

http://www.petesdragons.org.uk/

Bereavement CharitiesWinston’s Wish Charity for bereaved children.www.winstonswish.org.uk

Jeremiah’s JourneyPlymouth based charity for bereaved children.www.jeremiahsjourney.org.uk

CRUSEBereavement Carewww.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

Hope AgainWebsite designed for young people by young people. Youth website of CRUSE.www.hopeagain.org.uk

The Compassionate Friends UKSupport for siblings.www.tcfsiblingsupport.org.uk

BALLOONS (Bereavement and Loss Looking Onwards)Charity covering Exeter, East and Mid Devon .www.balloonscharity.co.ukAdvice for Teenagers and Young Peoplehttps://www.balloonscharity.co.uk/teenagers/

FIG (Families in Grief, including Teens in Grief)Charity supporting grieving families in North Devon. Tel: 01237 479027www.familiesingrief.org.uk

Support after Murder and Manslaughter (SAMM)http://www.samm.org.uk

Child Bereavement UK Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby, child or young person of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement. It also provides advice for Young Peoplehttps:// childbereavementuk .org

MindMental Health Charity. Gives information about where you can get support with bereavementhttps://www.mind.org.uk


https://www.mind.org.uk/

https://childbereavementuk.org/

http://www.samm.org.uk/

http://www.familiesingrief.org.uk/

https://www.balloonscharity.co.uk/teenagers/

http://www.balloonscharity.co.uk/

http://www.tcfsiblingsupport.org.uk/

http://www.hopeagain.org.uk/

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

http://www.jeremiahsjourney.org.uk/

http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/

Reading ResourcesThis is a suggested Reading List to use with Pupils (a more comprehensive list is available on the Winston’s Wish website).

Books for Children under 5 Years:

I Miss You - A First Look at DeathP. Thomas ISBN 0764117645

Goodbye Mousie R.H. Harris ISBN 978-0689871344

Goodbye Grandma D. Brauna ISBN 1405219017

Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine: Your Activity Book to Help When Someone Has DiedD.Crossley and K.Sheppard ISBN-10: 1869890582

The Day the Sea Went Out and Never Came Back: A Story for Children Who Have Lost Someone They Love: 2 (Helping Children with Feelings)M. Sunderland ISBN-13: 978-0863884634

Books for Children Aged 5-8 Years:

Badgers Parting Gifts S. Varley ISBN 978-0006643173

Always and ForeverA. Durant ISBN 978-0552548779

Flamingo DreamD.J. Napoli ISBN 978-0688167967(About a father who is ill then dies)

The Sunshine CatM. Moss ISBN 978-1841215679(A child’s cat gets killed in a road accident)

When Dinosaurs dieL.K. Brown and M. Brown ISBN 031611955(A factual book exploring issues about why someone dies and feelings about death)


Books for Children Aged 9-12 Years:

Michael Rosen’s SAD BOOKM. Rosen ISBN 978-1406313161(Refers to Michael Rosen’s son dying and how it affects him)

Milly’s Bug NutJ. Janey ISBN 978-0-9539123-4-6(About a girl whose father dies)

Water Bugs and DragonfliesD. Stickney ISBN 978-0264674414(A pocket book explaining death)

What on Earth to do when someone diesT. Romain ISBN 978-1575420554

Books for Young People Aged 13-16:

Help for the Hard TimesE. Hipp ISBN 1-56838-085-5(Refers to different types of loss and grief and skills to help teenagers)

The Spying GameP. Moon ISBN 978-1842750049(About a boy whose father dies and reveals the boys response)

Vicky AngelJ. Wilson ISBN 978-0440865896(A girl’s friend is run over and killed)

Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone you LoveE.A. Grollman ISBN 978-0807025017


AppendixFollow the link to:(the Babcock LDP website - https://www.babcockldp.co.uk/campaigns/coronavirus-support- for-schools-parents-and-pupils) where you will find a growing range of resources to support schools, children and families with the consequences of the coronavirus pandemic


http://www.babcockldp.co.uk/campaigns/coronavirus-support-for-schools-parents-and-pupils

When a Parent Dies A representative from the school should discuss with the family (and if appropriate the

child) what information should be given to classmates and other school pupils. Then use the opportunity to talk about grief and reactions. Consider whether information about the funeral should be communicated (Depending on

family wishes) Funerals in many instances at family request are being live streamed so friends and family who cannot be present may participate in the service.

After the bereavement there may be a long period when the child will have a reduced capacity to work.

Extra help may be needed at a later time. Let the child decide how much s/he wants to talk about what happened, but let them

know you are willing to listen if s/he contacts you. Maintain contact with the home about the child’s progress.


Talking to Children about the COVID -19 PandemicParents and carers are faced with the challenge of explaining the Covid-19 Pandemic to children. Although difficult, these conversations are extremely important. They give parents an opportunity to help their children feel more secure and understand the world in which they live. The following information can be helpful to parents when discussing these issues:

Listen to Children:

Create a time and place for children to ask their questions. Don't force children to talk about things until they're ready.

Remember that children tend to personalize situations. For example, they may worry about particular friends or relatives who they are unable to have contact with.

Help children find ways to express themselves. Some children may not be able to talk about their thoughts, feelings, or fears. They may be more comfortable drawing pictures, playing with toys, or writing stories or poems directly or indirectly related to current events.

Answer Children's Questions:

Use words and concepts your child can understand. Make your explanation appropriate to your child's age and level of understanding. Don't overload a child with too much information.

Give children honest answers and information. Children will usually know if you're not being honest.

Be prepared to repeat explanations or have several conversations. Some information may be hard to accept or understand. Asking the same question over and over may be your child's way of asking for reassurance.

Acknowledge and support your child's thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Let your child know that you think their questions and concerns are important.

Be consistent and reassuring, but don't make unrealistic promises. Remember that children learn from watching their parents and teachers. They are very

interested in how you respond to events. They learn from listening to your conversations with other adults.

Let children know how you are feeling. It's OK for them to know if you are anxious or worried about events. However, don't burden them with your concerns.

Don't confront your child's way of handling events. If a child feels reassured by saying that things are happening somewhere else, it's usually best not to disagree. The child may need to think about events this way to feel safe.


Provide Support:

Don't let children watch lots of violent or upsetting images on TV. Repetitive frightening images or scenes can be very disturbing, especially to young children.

Help children establish a predictable routine and schedule. Children are reassured by structure and familiarity. Physical activity, quiet time and time to be noisy and have fun take on added importance during stressful times.

Where possible coordinate information between home and school. Parents should know what school are expecting. Teachers should know about the child's specific fears or concerns.

Children who have experienced trauma or losses may show more intense reactions to tragedies or news of further incidents. These children may need extra support and attention.

Watch for physical symptoms related to stress. Many children show anxiety and stress through complaints of physical aches and pains.

Watch for possible preoccupation with health and anxiety around being ill. Children who seem preoccupied or very stressed about their own health should be

evaluated by a qualified mental health professional. Other signs that a child may need professional help include: on-going trouble sleeping, persistent upsetting thoughts, fearful images, intense fears about death, and trouble leaving their parents or going to school. The child's GP can assist with appropriate referrals.

Help children communicate with others and express themselves at home. Some children may want to write letters to politicians, local newspapers, or to grieving families.

Let children be children. They may not want to think or talk a lot about these events. It is OK if they'd rather play a game, watch a suitable TV programme, play outside (if appropriate) etc.

A Global Health Pandemic not easy for anyone to comprehend or accept. Understandably, many young children may feel confused, upset, and anxious. Parents, teachers, and caring adults can help by listening and responding in an honest, consistent, and supportive manner. Most children, even those exposed to trauma, are quite resilient. Like most adults, they can and do get through difficult times and go on with their lives. By creating an open environment where they feel free to ask questions, parents can help them cope and reduce the possibility of emotional difficulties.


Talking to Teenagers about the COVID -19 PandemicWhen a Global Pandemic strikes, it seems like the entire world is upside down and confusing. It's hard to believe what's happening and to know when things will get back to normal.

Pandemics scare everyone because no one knows when it might affect them or their family personally. So how do you cope with it all? Here are some things you can do:

Give yourself a fear reality check. It's normal to be worried about your safety and your family's safety. Even though your chances of being seriously ill are small, the images you see on TV or online make the danger seem close by.

Share your feelings. Anger, sadness, fear, and numbness are some of the reactions you might have. Don't be embarrassed or afraid to express how you feel. Just talking and sharing your feelings with your parents, friends, teachers, and others can help them and help you.

Take care of yourself. Losing sleep, not eating, and worrying too much can make you sick. As much as possible, try to get enough sleep, eat right, exercise, and keep a daily routine. It may be hard to do, but it can keep you healthy and better able to handle a tough time.

Limit the time you spend watching the news. It's good to be informed about what's happening, but spending hours watching the news reports can make you feel more anxious and sad.

Be respectful of others. You may have heard certain countries being blamed for the outbreak.. Don't give into prejudice by blaming a whole group, or disliking people just because of the country where they were born, the faith they practice, the way they dress, or the colour of their skin.

Get additional support if you need to. A traumatic event can cause strong reactions, but if your feelings make it impossible for you to function and do normal daily stuff, it's time to seek additional help. Turn to a parent, teacher, religious leader, or guidance counsellor, so you can get the help you need.


Talking to Children and Young People about serious illnessTalking to children and young people about serious and life threatening illness is not easy. We instinctively want to protect children and not scare them with too much negative information. However, the advice of specialists including the bereavement charities is that it is better to be open and honest. This is especially true for illness due to the Coronavirus because it is being so widely discussed in the media and in our homes.

Partial or inaccurate information may be even more worrying and could affect the child or young person’s trust in you in the future. It is important not to underestimate the ability of children and young people to hear the truth.

Key information to tell children and young people

• That someone is ill• What the illness is called• How serious the illness is

How to begin a conversation

You could start by asking the child or young person what they already think, and what questions they might have. This will give you a chance to correct any misunderstandings, and provide some insight on the amount of detail they are ready to hear. For example: “We have had news that (name) is ill”. “I wonder if you have any questions I can try to answer?”“We can talk about it if you want to”

You should allow lots of time to ask questions and be prepared to repeat the information as the child gradually processes the news. For younger children (under 7), just the initial information that someone is ill may be enough at first, further information may be added over the next few days.

It may be helpful to remind yourself of the facts about the illness before talking to older children and young people. Using a reliable source such as the NHS will enable you to answer any questions accurately. It is ok not to know all the answers and to say we do not know. You can reassure them that you will try to find out and tell them later if you can. What reaction might there be?

Everyone processes information in different ways, there could be a range of reactions from upset or anger, people sometimes even laugh or smile when they are presented with information they can’t quite process or that appears frightening. There may appear to be no reaction at all. Give children and young people some time and space to react in their own way without negative comment. Offer kind words acknowledging that it is a sad time, we are thinking about the person who is ill and we are all trying to look after each-other.


Confirm

During such times children will need to be reassured that their feelings are normal and understandable. Acknowledge their fears with respect.

Support

Your calm and positive manner will help children to respond and feel secure.

Supporting children after traumatic events will naturally be stressful and upsetting for you. If you or your school would welcome further information please contact Babcock LDP Educational Psychology.

Babcock LDP Educational PsychologySecond Floor, Milford House, Pynes Hill ExeterEX2 5GFTel: 01392 287233

North Devon: Claire Bedford & Rachel Hearn [email protected] [email protected]

East Devon: Dr Bryony Curtis Dr Tim Cockerill [email protected] [email protected]

West Devon: Alison Russell-Garner [email protected]

South Devon: Louise Goodchild [email protected]

Children in Mind

Distressing Events:Information for Teachers








Appropriate support is essential to prevent vulnerable children developing persistent patterns of depression, anxiety and fears.

Age differences

Pre-schoolYoung children often feel they are responsible for unhappy events and blame themselves. They will be most influenced by how adults near to them behave. They will often regress under stress and anxiously attach to a carer as a means of coping.

Primary/middle childrenChildren can be most vulnerable at this age as they have more understanding of events but are less able to cope. They can experience mood swings and become withdrawn or aggressive. They are more prone to physical illness. Their school work can suffer through poor concentration.

AdolescenceTeenagers will respond in similar ways to adults. They may have feelings of profound sadness and disillusionment, even depression, leading to difficulties in relationships. If they are already struggling to cope with social pressures in their lives, behavioural problems may occur.

Children need to:

- express their feelings- react individually- feel supported and understood

How can adults help?

ListenLet children tell you their feelings and fears. Don't pretend to know what it's like. Make TIME to be with them.

Be honestAnswer their questions when you can and don't pretend to have all the answers. Don't answer questions they haven't asked.

Children frequently face some form of stress and usually cope without developing symptoms. But sometimes, intense reactions occur because of distressing events in their lives, television, films, news, or the witnessing of a traumatic accident.

When we are faced with traumatic events, it takes time for us to come to terms with them. The reactions and needs outlined below are normal and help us all to cope.

Symptoms of stress

- Feelings of fear- A sense of helplessness- Sleep disturbances- Re-experiencing the trauma- Physical illness

When children experience traumas they are influenced by the adults in their lives. If adults are calm and supportive this has a very positive effect in helping them to develop ways of coping.

Response sequence

Studies of how we respond to traumatic stress events suggest a number of discernible phases.

Impact phaseRealisation of danger causes strong emotional reactions. In young children, regression may occur, their thoughts and behaviour becoming disorganised and a loss of control of body functions can result.

Recoil phaseHere there is an awareness of the event and the child may re-experience the trauma.

Aftermath phaseAs the child struggles to cope, symptoms of hyperactivity, dependency and irrationality may occur. In most children these gradually abate as they regain personal and social stability.

How to support colleagues during COVID-19School staff are supporting each other through this challenging time and are providing emotional support for colleagues experiencing a range of personal and professional challenges including those who have been bereaved. Staff may feel worried about how to do this and concerned about saying the wrong thing or making things worse.

The Educational Psychology Service is here to support you at this time. We can provide telephone consultation and support for school staff feeling under pressure or managing sensitive issues.

There is a link Educational Psychologist for each Local Learning Community who you can access via 01392 287233 and [email protected]

How you can help when a colleague is bereaved Be there for them; either in person (if they are at work) or on the

phone, text or email. They will appreciate this. It will be comforting to know that others are thinking of them and care.

Understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve; everyone grieves differently. There is no ‘normal’ way.

Offer to help in practical ways – are there some tasks you can support them with?

Ensure there is support in place over the long term and look out for signs of depression over time.

What to say Ask “Do you feel like talking?” Some people may want to talk

whilst others may not and will just be comforted by knowing you are thinking of them.

You can say “ I’m so sorry…..”.

Use the name of the person who has died in the conversation.

When they are talking - listen carefully, nod, offer supportive body language.

Give your colleague time and space to talk – ensure there is a quiet, private environment.


Self-CareIt is crucial that you look after yourself at this time. Supporting colleagues through traumatic times can be extremely exhausting and overwhelming. Try to take care of yourself, so that you are better able to help others. Please refer to Self-Care checklist on page 13.

Further resourcesAnna Freud Centre – Looking After Each Other and Ourselves: a guide to supporting the mental health and wellbeing of staff at schools and colleagues during periods of disruption.

https://www.annafreud.org/media/11160/supporting-schools-and-colleges.pdf

Babcock LDP Educational PsychologyCritical Incident Pack (2020)

What not to say Don’t say “I know how you feel” or compare your experience to

theirs. Each experience is personal.

Don’t feel like you need to ‘fix’ or ‘solve’ the situation. This is not your responsibility nor possible. Offering solutions or trying to look on the ‘bright side’ can be taken the wrong way.

Avoid clichés – ‘Life just has to go on’ or ‘Time is a great healer’.

Avoid religious statements – “It was God’s will” or “They are in a better place”.

Don’t steer away from the subject if it comes up.

Don’t expect them to ‘get over it’ – loss is not something to ‘get over’ however, life can be re-built around it.

Page 28

https://www.annafreud.org/media/11160/supporting-schools-and-colleges.pdf

Supporting Bereaved Children and Young People during COVID-19School staff will be supporting bereaved children and young people during this time and may be concerned about saying the wrong thing or making things worse.

The Educational Psychology Service is here to support you. We can provide telephone consultation and support for school staff feeling under pressure or managing sensitive issues.

There is a link Educational Psychologist for each Local Learning Community who you can access via 01392 287233 and [email protected]

How to support an Early Years child who has been bereaved

Understanding of loss: At this age children do not understand that death is permanent. They think it is temporary

or reversible.

Children use magical thinking e.g. thinking someone will come alive again or thinking that they made someone die. Young children can feel responsible and may blame themselves.

Young children do understand separation and will feel insecure and frightened when the familiar things around them change.

Young children may ask what appear to be insensitive questions e.g. “When will you die?” This is because they perceive death as temporary.

This age group will be most influenced by how adults near to them behave and they need a lot of reassurance that they will be safe and looked after. Consider how you will comfort young children whilst also ensuring the safety of staff and pupils. Additional hygiene measures may need to adopted if/when it has not been possible to fully comply with social distancing advice.


What you may see: Regression in development – returning to crawling, wanting a

bottle.

Toileting problems; wetting and soiling.

Clinginess to trusted adults and needing more support than usual.

Looking for the person who has died.

Being irritable; having more tantrums.

Withdrawing, being quiet, showing a lack of response.

Changes in eating and difficulty in sleeping.


How to support a Primary aged child who has been bereaved

Understanding of loss: Most children at this age are beginning to understand that all living things eventually die,

although they may not understand that death is final. Children tend to understand that death is final at 10 – 12 years.

Children at this age tend to not relate death to themselves and may think that they can personally escape it.

Children may think that the person who has died may still feel things such as coldness, hunger or loneliness etc.

They may ask where the person is now, and have blunt questions to ask about what happened to them and to their body. Explaining death to them is very important.


Page 29

What you can do: Have one to one time on a shared activity (keeping a safe

distance where appropriate).

Keep routines and normal activities going as much as possible.

Encourage play to help them process what has happened; sand play, puppets, dolls.

Tell them you know they are sad – teach and use words that describe feelings.

Tell them they are safe, and who is looking after them.

Ensure they have access to their comfort items, such as a cuddly toy, special blanket.

Explain death as part of life, so they come to understand it over time. Using some examples in nature may be helpful, such as watching plants grow, bloom and die.

Use simple concrete language and give simple explanations.

Death may be made more clear by explaining it in terms of the absence of familiar life functions – when people die they do not breathe, eat, talk, think, or feel any more; when dogs die they do not bark or run anymore; dead flowers do not grow or bloom any more.

Avoid using words such as “gone to sleep”, “rest”, or “went away” as this can cause confusion and young children may become scared of sleeping in case they don’t wake up or of brief separations.

They may associate images with death, such as a skeletons and may have nightmares.


Page 30


What you may see: Looking for the person who has died.

Having dreams about, or sensing the presence of, the person who has died.

Blaming themselves for the death.

Being easily distracted, forgetful.

Being anxious; having increased fears, such as of the dark.

Clinginess – wanting to be near key adults.

Withdrawing, being quiet, and showing a lack of response.

Being fretful, distressed, not wanting to leave parents/go to school.

Physical complaints such as tummy aches and headache.

Being irritable, having more tantrums, being defiant, or showing challenging behaviours.

Older primary children may: Be particularly anxious about the safety of others.

Try very hard to please adults and not worry them.

Want to take on more adult responsibilities to ‘help’ out.

Feel stronger emotional reactions, such as anger, guilt, sense of rejection.

Feel embarrassed and different from others; they may want to conceal their loss.

Become focused on what has happened and ask questions, think about it a lot, have dreams about it, and perhaps want to talk about it often to others.

What you can do:In addition to the techniques used with Early Years children, you can support in the following ways:

Ensure there is time to talk with trusted adults, when they need to.

Don’t expect them to behave like adults– allow them to be the age and stage they are.

Let them show their emotions –don’t say things like “be brave” or “ big boys don’t cry.

Page 31

How to support a Secondary aged child who has been bereaved

Understanding of loss: By adolescence, death is accepted as part of life, but it may not have affected a teenager

personally yet. Their reactions may fluctuate between earlier age group reactions and reactions that are more adult.

Teenagers will often want to spend more time with friends than family as they seek support.

They may find the intensity of emotion overwhelming or scary. They may not be able to find the words or ways to talk about their emotions with others.

They may want to feel they are coping, and be seen to be, but inside be hurting a great deal, or be putting their emotions on a shelf for a later time.


What you may see: Being unsettled in class, a change in class performance, not

wanting to go to school.

Being overwhelmed by intense reactions, such as anger, guilt, fear.

Having difficulty expressing intensity of emotions, or conflict of emotions.

Risk-taking behaviour to escape, to comfort, or to prove they’re alive and strong; for example, drinking, drugs or more sexual contact.

Jokes or humour, masking feelings.

Saying, or acting like they don’t care.

Strained relationships with others – fear or awkwardness about being close to others.

A sense of loneliness – isolation.

A change in self-image, lower self-esteem.

Suicidal thoughts and/or depression.

What you can do:In addition to the techniques used with Primary aged students, you can support in the following ways:

Be honest and let them know what is happening.

Acknowledge the emotions they may be feeling—fear, sadness, anger.

Frequently reassure them they are safe, who is caring for them, and which adults they can trust to ask for further support.

Keep routines and normal activities going as much as possible.

Self-Care It is crucial that you look after yourself at this time. Supporting children and young people

through traumatic times can be extremely exhausting and overwhelming. Try to take care of yourself, so that you are better able to help others.

Please refer to Self-Care checklist on page 13.


Talk to them about grief – what it is, that it’s normal, that everyone is different.

Avoid expectations of adult behaviour and encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings.

Give them ideas of things they could try such as doing physical activities, writing, singing, listening to music, talking with friends, reading etc.

Talk about death together; answer any questions they may have as honestly as you can.

Help them to prepare something to remember the loss.

Look out for them in the long term as sadness may turn to depression and they may require more specialist support.

Page 32

Page 33

critical incident grab pack - babcock ldp€¦ · web viewif you feel you are continuing to have...

Documents