WISE

WOMEN

Ann’s readership,Shauna and her cadreof golden womenpooled their money andplanned a gathering inJackson Hole, Wyoming,subsequently creating alasting venue wherewomen gather annually to talk, coun-sel with each other, and tell the truthabout their lives.

nterestingly, Ann Kreilkamp andShauna Adix had the requisite tal-

ent to conceive and birth a wholly newkind of women’s organization. Ann wasthe originator and editor of CroneChronicles, A Journal of Conscious Ag-ing. Shauna had just retired as the Direc-tor of the Women’s Resource Center atthe University of Utah. Ann had the read-

ership; Shauna had theknow-how. The timingwas right. And, fortu-nately, they had a longlist of capable and com-petent friends whochose to help.

urely, they all believed, youmust follow where the heart

leads. Leap and the net will appear.Boldness does have genius, magic,and power. Shauna Adix, Ann Kreil-kamp, Ramona Adams, Lou Jean Flint,Kaye Chatterton, Jackie Nichols, andColleen Taft found a hotel in Wyo-ming that was willing to work with asmall group of women who seemedto know what they were doing. Nes-tled in the warmth of a mountainlodge, beneath the deep snows of theGrand Tetons, the first CronesCounsel was born. One hundred andsix women came to do what thefounding mothers envisioned– theytalked with each other. They listened.They stomped their feet, clapped theirhands, danced and sang, createddrama, made new friends, and wished itwould never end. It didn’t. The PugetSound Crones volunteered to do the nextCounsel in their neck of the woods, andthis has been the way the Counsel has ad-vanced year after year. Women havestepped forward to ensure the continuance

CRONES COUNSELCRONES COUNSELCelebrating Wise WomenCelebrating Wise Women

by Susan Ann Stauffer,Crones Counsel Herstorian

hen Ann Kreilkamp andShauna Adix, the founding

mothers of Crones Counsel, Inc.,came together, they stirred the caul-dron, cooked the stew, and shared itwith all their friends. Encounteringeach other by a serendipitous twist offate, they launched a women’s organi-zation that has lived to tell this tale:Twenty years ago, two women fromdisparate backgrounds, enamored bythe archetype of crone, acted on gutinstinct. Risk-takers, innovators,both of them, they suspected thatolder women, like themselves, hadquestions needing answers. Whatabout the empty nest? Retirement?Menopause? Relationships? Agingbodies, aging minds, and aging par-ents? What do we do with the rest ofour lives? We’re not dead yet, so whatis left for us to do? Spurred on by

CRONES COUNSEL:

20 Years Strong

The following message wassent to Marjorie's friends andfamily, and certainly Cronefriends are part of that specialgroup. Many Crones will remem-ber Marjorie as an honored elderat nine Crones Counsels. Physi-cally she's frail, but she remainsmentally competent and alert inher assisted living apartment.

She has her piano there andplays daily.

Marjorie celebrated her100th birthday on April 14.

If you wish to write her,please send your greetings to:

Marjorie Speecec/o Walta Ruff1015 W. Mountain Ave.Fort Collins, CO 80521

Ann Kreilkamp

VOLUME 11, NUMBER 2JULY 2012

Shauna Adix CRONES COUNSEL, con’t. on Page 2

Marjorie Speece’s 100th Birthday

MARJORIE SPEECE with daughtersWalta Ruff and Marji Nash on her99th birthday.

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Inside this issue:Great Basin Queendom 3My Years on the Board 3President’s Message 4Book Review 4Decades—Enid Williams 5A New Chapter 6CC Board Contacts 6Listening to Elderwomen 8Granny Bee’s Adventures 9Dawning Insight 12

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women have become our cul-tural centerpieces, the sinequa nons, of the gathering.If Ila Benavidez-Heaster doesnot dance, and SimoneLaDrumma does not drum, ifBetty Brown isn’t Granny Beeor demonstrating pole-dancing techniques, we’re notthe same. When we lose treas-ures like Jackie Gentry, EllaEagle, Julien Puzey, KatherineBarr’s sister Mary, VitaLaumé, and all the others whohave become ill or passedaway, it’s hard to keep ongoing, but we have. We havethe fierce tenacity to perse-vere when times are tough.THE PRESENT

e know we mustbegin, again and

again, with clear intention.The planning committee inSalt Lake City for 2012,Gateways and Thresholds:Looking Back, MovingForward, has decided to stirthe cauldron once again andevolve a grander vision ofCrones Counsel. The 2012gathering in Salt Lake City willbe new and unusual. Thecommittee is proceeding withvivacity and vision, treadingnew pathways to the future.We have chosen to believe, asGoethe so eloquently articu-lated, that “Whatever we candream we can do, we can do.”

rganizationally, thereare ideas and con-

cepts still to be conceived andcrafted if Crones Counsel isto remain viable. We need con-tinued innovation and creativ-ity. Each of us must capitalizeon the energy of 2012. It istime to reach out across the

generations. We need to enlistthe digital natives—they arethe future. We are an agingorganization. We need youngerwomen to find us, join us, andgrow old with us. With the in-put and vision of youngerwomen, Crones Counsel canpursue the tasks needed tohone and sharpen our mission.

eanings change asconsciousness

changes. As members ofCrones Counsel, our mis-sion is to reclaim the arche-type of “crone,” restore itsessential meaning, and thenimbue it with an importancepertinent to the time in whichwe now live. Thankfully we arenot alone. Scholars ClarissaPinkola Estes, Marion Wood-man, and Jean Shinoda Bolenare taking a lead. “Crone” is anotion resplendent with mean-ing that can enliven the experi-ence of women throughouttheir lifespan. The word“crone” can become a wel-come designation, one thatwill advance the power andinfluence of women.COME TO SALT LAKE CITY

ncounter the energy ofthe Rocky Mountains

and take in the beauty of theSalt Lake Valley for the cele-bration of our twentieth year.Once you have arrived andsettled in this attractive city,you will be invited to enter1Eight Gates of Initiation andcross each beautifully hand-crafted threshold into the sec-ond half of “your one wild andprecious life.” Saturday after-noon and evening has been setaside for an intergenerationalexchange under the 2Red Tent.Invite your daughters, grand-daughters, your younger

20 Years Strong, con’t. from Page 1

Page 2 CRONETIMES, Volume 11, Number 2

friends and co-workers, to joinyou at Crones Counsel for thisspecial day which will includethe Gifting of the Elders, the Hon-oring of the Decades, and willculminate in a Croning Ceremonyfor everyone who wishes to par-ticipate. The gifts this day, underthe Red Tent, will be plentifuland bounteous.

ow, magic is alwaysafoot when the Crones

gather. October 10 through 14,2012, in Salt Lake City will be agrand twentieth-year celebra-tion—every day, every hour,every minute. Our expectationsare high for this upcoming gath-ering. All we need is you.

SUSAN ANN STAUFFER ispresently serving a sec-ond term on the CronesCounsel Board. SusanAnn has attended each ofthe twenty gatheringsand is the CronesCounsel herstorian. Susan Ann isserving as a co-chair of the 2012gathering in Salt Lake City alongwith Judith Neihart and Stacia Ire-land, both members of the CronesCounsel Board. Susan Ann con-ducted four years of research onCrones Counsel for her doctoralwork in the College of Social Work atthe University of Utah. She has writ-ten a definitive work (soon to bepublished and available on-line) onthe value of Crones Counsel in thelives of aging women.

1The 2012 Committee hasadapted the work of two womenauthors to structure the upcominggathering. Angeles Arrien’s book, TheSecond Half of Life, inspired thetheme of the Gathering as well as theconstruction of the Eight Gates ofInitiation.

2Anita Diamant’s book, The RedTent, is the stimulus for the SaturdayRed Tent Event. You might want toread each of these books before at-tending the gathering. Both booksare wonderful.

To access CRONE: WomenComing of Age, go towww.cronemagazine.com.

of Crones Counsel. When,for whatever reason or cir-cumstance, no one came for-ward to plan the next gather-ing, the Crones Counselleadership accepted the task,working diligently to permitthe Counsel to thrive. Thus,Crones Counsel is twentyyears strong and still growing.

vidently, there ispower in following

the magic and doing “what-ever it takes.” Crones Coun-sel has been to Washington,Idaho, California, Tennessee,Georgia, New Mexico, Utah,Nevada, Colorado, Arizona,and Oregon. Women havecome to Crones Counselfrom as far away as Australia,New Zealand, and England.Women have arrived onmotorcycles and in motorhomes, by train, by plane, byfoot, and by car. Some havecome to stay and some haveleft, finding our brand of funjust a bit too wacky. Other

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By Tricia Layden

At the 2007 Counsel the CC presidentannounced that unless more women were in-terested in serving on the board and/or help-ing host a Counsel, there might not be anymore. Well, I just couldn’t see that happening,so I filled out an application for the board(and started harassing other Washingtonians to hold a Counselin Seattle). I explained that I had no specific skills to offer theBoard (e.g. secretarial, technical, managerial), but that didn’tseem to be a problem, and I was accepted.

The next two years were spent working on the 2009 SeattleCrones Counsel, and was great fun. I got to know someamazing people: Connie Dawson, Nancy Hansen, and Gay Barkeramong others—and learned what it meant to be “on theBoard.” It was decided that even though I was a member, itwould be okay for me to be the “crow”—the Seattle planningcommittee’s connection with the Board. Usually it is someonewho is not involved with the planning committee who can helpwith advice or with problems that come up.

After the Seattle Crones Counsel, I had one moreyear of a three-year commitment, with an option of another twoyears, which I totally chose. During those three years I got toremain part of the wonderful group of women planning gather-ings and discussing the best way to carry the Counsel into thefuture. Some of the best times were sharing our lives—what wehad been up to between planning sessions or gatherings—and

By Vicky Burgess

Welcome to the GreatBasin Queendom! The GreatBasin historically included allof Utah and Wyoming. Utahwas where Crones Counselwas founded; their first con-ference was held in Wyomingtwenty years ago. Those of uswho participated in this found-ing process and also pre-sented at the first gatheringhave profound and individu-ally unique memories of it all.

A few of us have beenworking on this forth-comingevent before and immediatelyafter the Portland Counsel. Weare going to have some of thetraditional activities such asdrumming, storytelling, sing-ing, workshops, and aCroning Ceremony.

We are also going to havenew activities, such as a bustour of some of the wonderfulsites in and around Salt Lake.Nine literal provocative gate-ways will be included.

Great Basin Queendom

My Years on the Board

Volume 11, Number 2, CRONETIMES Page 3

VOLUME 11, NUMBER 2

Caption describingpicture or graphic.

Gatewaysand Thresholds:Looking Back,Moving Forward—is our theme.

Join us Wed-nesday throughSunday, October10–14, 2012, atthe Salt LakeAirport HiltonHotel.

We welcome your input and participation.

Crones Counselon Facebook

The Crones Counsel Facebookpage just got a face lift. In keeping withthe new look for Facebook, a lovelycover photo has been uploaded. Anevent for the fall gathering in Salt LakeCity has been created. We now have ourown custom URL at http://www.facebook.com/CronesCounsel.Check it out. Click on “Like” to becomea friend of the Crones CounselFacebook page. Feel free to post yourown thoughts and insights on the page.Please contact the Web Mother atinfo@cronescounsel.org if you have anyquestions.

brainstorming ideas tobring to the wholeCounsel with lots ofemails back and forth,as well as the meetingsmidway and just beforethe gatherings them-selves. There is a lot ofdecision-making thatgoes into creating thevibrant gatherings weall know and love, a lotof planning and weigh-ing of solutions andpossibilities. It was anexperience I treasure.

Review by Diane Cornell

In our Crone groups, wehave many outstandingwomen who have made im-portant contributions tosociety and continue to do so.One special author is Dr.Louise Hart who has pre-sented self-esteem workshopsat our conferences and at ourlocal crones’ groups. As onewoman stated after enjoyingDr. Hart’s presentation herein Santa Cruz, “That work-shop really helped me realizeI can be proud of myself andwho I am; I feel so good.” Ifyou haven’t had an opportu-nity to attend one of theseexcellent workshops, you nowhave a chance to read this

practical, uplifting, and trans-forming book and perhapsshare it with friends andfamily.

Today many of us whowere raised in families whoweren’t able to show us howto appreciate ourselves canlearn how to regain self-esteem and keep it by follow-ing the plan in Louise’s book.The opening chapters tell oftroubled families and the re-actions of the children. Louisedescribes her own experiencewith parenting and divorce. Ifwe can identify the problemswe faced as children, we canlearn something new and gainpersonal power. To explainthis change, Louise Hart usesthe butterfly metaphor as the

symbol of transformation andthe book itself is bound withbutterfly wings front and backwith the butterfly’s body onthe spine. The caterpillar isthe dysfunctional social sys-tem before the cocoon fosters

new skills, and then the but-terfly emerges acknowledgingits positive qualities withacceptance.

BOOK REVIEW:

On The Wings of Self-Esteem—A Companion for Personal Transformationby Louise Hart, Ed. D., 1910 Uplift Press, Oakland, CA

“If we can identify theproblems we faced aschildren, we can learnsomething new andgain personal power.”

The second part of the bookhas sections with exercises to doto change your self talk, acceptyour feelings, feed your spirit,and examine your truths. Theexercises are fun activities thatask you to review your habitsand patterns of life. For exam-ple, “The next time somethinggoes wrong, write out the story.Then write it again with a differ-ent and better ending.” Twowords that are often used in theexercises are “miracles” and“play.” To relieve stress, Louisesuggests: “Spend time aloneeach day. Just several five-minute pauses can make a dif-ference. You might reminisce orimagine being on a cruise or ona lovely tropical island.”

On every page Louise usesquotes about life from the an-cient seers to modern poets andpsychologists. Jack Canfield,author of Chicken Soup for theSoul, wrote “This is a wonderfulbook! It contains timeless in-sights and deep psychologicaltruths presented in a simple yetprofound way. If everyone readthis book and did the exercises,half the pain and suffering wecurrently experience would dis-appear.” I know you would en-joy reading this book andstretching your wings to see newpossibilities and opportunitiesfor your partin the largerprocess ofhuman evo-lution.

You canpurchasethis book atAmazon.comor www.upliftpress.com. Orview some of Louise’s blogs onparenting on her website: http://www.drlouisehart.com.

President’s Message by Nancy (Annie) Lehto

What a blessing it has been to be a part of Crones Counsel these pastmany years. Being on the board has been an extra reward in addition to being part ofthe gatherings. It is time to turn over the reins of the Crones Counsel board. Iwill pass this honor to Stacia Ireland at the end of the upcoming gathering. I havelearned so much from all of the wonderful women who have donated their time andenergy to being on the board. It’s an experience I will never forget.

I am looking forward to the gathering in Salt Lake City so much. A twentiethanniversary is so special…to be thinking of the women who first gathered. The impetus came from womenin Salt Lake City, drawing women from all over to attend the first gathering in Jackson, Wyoming. Everygathering since then has been different, the same, special, and wonderful. We each have stories to tellabout the different gatherings we have attended. I remember my first gathering in Scottsdale, Arizona. Itwas amazing and somewhat daunting, as I didn’t know a soul. I came away with jumbled thoughts and somany questions. Who were these women and what were they doing? I didn’t understand much of what wasgoing on but I had to come back the next year to find out more. The energy was something I had neverexperienced. Through the years I have met gracious and fearsome women — role models all. And thejourney continues.…

Page 4 CRONETIMES, Volume 11, Number 2

“The Old Gray Mare, She Ain’tWhat She Used to Be…”

She’s BETTER! A still-evolvingElder Woman. Looking back,

I see Enid, fast-forwardingover the decades.

2ND DECADE:Newly minted as a RegisteredNurse, I left St. Louis for NewYork City at age 21. Lots tolearn: how to manage my life,how to survive in the workworld, how to navigate theheterosexual scene. I loved thesights and sounds of the“teeming ’tropolis”; and Iworked on new ways of think-ing, of Being. Gradually, Ilearned to be less naive, lesstrusting, somewhat more adult.

3RD DECADE:Self-exploration continued as Ibegan to understand betterwhat I truly needed, what wasmost important to me. At 35,I “followed my bliss,” my truerinterests, and embarked on ademanding program in ClinicalPsychology. My lively love lifethen took second place.

4TH DECADE:A pivotal year for me was 40;I completed study and intern-ships and became a SchoolPsychologist. That was chal-lenging enough, but I also—disastrously—married a crea-tive, brilliant, financially unsta-ble man who was very muchlike my father. I was fairlyunprepared for my roles as abusiness executive's wife andas a suburbanite, but I sur-

vived, and in some ways,thrived.

5TH DECADE:After ten rather tempestuousyears, my husband and I sepa-rated. I was granted anN.I.M.H. scholarship to BostonUniversity, and I embarked ondoctoral studies. I was con-tented to lead a life moresuited to the Essential Enid. Atage 59, I emerged successfullyfrom an Ed.D. program, andmy husband died after a longillness.

6TH DECADE:Now, I was really on my own!More challenges: Post-Doctoralwork at a Youth GuidanceClinic and at Harvard MedicalSchool, doing neuropsychologicalresearch. At 65, I slowed downa bit, working part-time as apsychologist and a psychiatricnurse, and I traveled widely.

7TH DECADE:More shifting of life’s gears! Isold my two-family cottage onMartha’s Vineyard Island and,at the age of 75, picked upand left for the Southwest,knowing almost no one. Iworked for a while as an Ad-missions Officer in a smallmental hospital and then re-tired. I wondered mightily whatI would DO with all that sparetime! But I soon found m’selfvolunteering—e.g. as a Treat-ment Guardian at the V.A. Hos-pital and as a presenter of aSpoken Word PBS Radio pro-gram. I also became quite ac-tive politically in the Gray Pan-thers. Becoming an Octogenar-

ian … well I didn't thinkabout it very much!

THE BIG EIGHT-O:I’m heading for the LastRoundup, but I’m having Fungetting there!

After wry moments ofregret, I find it’s wise, thoughdifficult, to just ignore thosedried prune-like wrinkles andget on with Living. Sometimes,thinking back on my wildlyvaried life, I have to “re-calibrate,” to remind myselfthat I am now one of the“vulnerable old.” Now, a lotof time, energy, and scarcedinero must needs go into“maintenance and servicing”of my physical self. Everlooming is the threat of in-creased discomfort and dis-abilities. It takes a strongsense of Self to weather theseonslaughts; basic optimismhelps, too.

I feel an acute awarenessthat “this is (almost) all thereis.” I could feel disheartened,if I let it get to me. Peace ofMind demands that I forgetWhat Might Have Been, etc.,and live in the present. Thisincludes stripping away oldlayers of “necessity,” of for-mer mandatory role-playing.What is left is: I have in-creased awareness and appre-

Decades—Enid Williams

VOLUME 11, NUMBER 2

Volume 11, Number 2, CRONETIMES Page 5

ciation of who I am, what mystrengths and weaknesses are. Imostly do what I want to do, whenI want to do it. Lovely feeling offreedom there.

I feel more deeply connectedwith all of life, and I have a re-newed sensitivity to the beauty, thewonder, of Nature. Thus, it is aprofound blessing to be able tosavor the buds of Spring along withGinger, the Wonder Cat, who is acomplete joy and a talkative, lovingcompanion.

Simplifying my life has beenimportant for me. That includes nottaking events as seriously as I didin earlier decades. I’m more mellow:I treasure each moment of my exis-tence. Yes, definitely, I am slowingdown! Even when I am eating mysmaller meals, I enjoy each mouth-ful, really noticing, appreciating theexperience. Along with feeling moreserene, more comfortable with my-self, I am working on looseningAttachments. Now, that is a Biggie:for example, it was very difficult togive up my hard-won R.N. statusand my later identity as a psycholo-gist. These “should” are at lastfading away.

You notice that I live a fairlysolitary existence. That’s OK withme. I delight in the times when Ican be alone in my small “burrow.”It is a delight, too, that I havemany friends. They are a source ofjoy and support, and I, in turn,love doing things for them. It islovely, too, that strangers, especiallyyounger women, spontaneously smileat me—or is it because of the“Grandmothers for Peace” button Ialways wear?

It is a privilege to live longenough to evolve as a Crone, aWise Woman. Despite all the chal-lenges, the changes, I feel that it isa blessing to be alive, and 89.

By Marta Quest

As of today (June 11, 2012) Iam in my final two weeks of livingin Ekalaka, Montana! I’ve beenreally busy recreating CarterCounty’s history books; printingphotographs; creating brochuresand logos for clients and my newbusinesses (AQ2A: A Quest to As-sist, and Rainbow Rhythms & Art);designing print-on-demand booksand eBooks; doing the CroneTimes newsletter for CronesCounsel; and sorting/packing/tossing mountains of STUFF, aswell as participating in a town-wide yard sale! My precious toypoodle Mon Ami and I require walking three times a day tokeep our sanity; she is such a gift to my life.

I’ll be taking the Carter Charter (our senior citizens’ bus) toMiles City June 27, where I’ll pick up a U-Haul truck, drivehome, load everything I’m taking, and head to Oregon June 28.I’ll be visiting my brother Steve in Missoula, Montana; then headto Ashland, Oregon, my final destination. That will take anothertwo days. I’ll arrive at my new home on my birthday, July 1!

I’ve rented a mobile home that sits above a creek in a 55+park north of town. When I get to Ashland I’ll need to buy a van,as my dear old vehicle “Blaze” has 325,000 miles on her and isjust too tired to make the trip!

My plans are to offer my services as copyeditor/proofreaderand graphic designer to the area and beyond, as well as partici-pate in arts and crafts shows up and down the coast selling mydrums and art. I also intend to take classes for website designand get more into stained glass. Several things draw me to Ash-land: 70 miles from the ocean; a more progressive, eclecticpopulace; it’s on the border of California; a lot of art/artists inthe area; two colleges and an international airport 12 miles fromAshland; a hot springs nearby; and DRUMMING circles! I’m sureI’ll find much more to draw from after I arrive.

The Universe has been of incredible assistance in this transi-tion once I said “Yes!” to leaving Montana. At Crones Counsel lastfall in Portland, Oregon, I announced my intention to move to Ash-land and asked for help from my sister crones. I got names andemails of several people in the area. A friend of Helen Kennedyturned out to be a God-send, as she has just moved into this mobile-home park and hooked me up with the owner. The suggestion frommy friend Roxane to not take my old car was very helpful (I hadworried about hauling it on the back of the truck). As I mentioned,I’ve had a lot of work, which has generated income for my move.And the rental house and restaurant have finally been sold. Ourhouse has yet to sell, but with the oil boom going on in the area,I’m sure it will soon.

Mahtowín and I have dis-solved our partnership of 17years. It has been difficult forboth of us, but we are aware thatthe toxicity of our relationshipwas not helpful to either of us. Ibless her and so appreciate thetime we spent together and wishher all the best.

My new address is:2020 Rogue Valley Hwy. 99 #5,Ashland, OR 97520. Please useMartaQ.AQ2A@hotmail.com ifyou wish to email me, and Idon’t have an Oregon phonenumber ... yet! I would love tohear from each and every one ofyou. And if you’re ever in thearea, stop by!

A New Chapter

NANCY LEHTO,President4571 S White WayLittleton, CO 80127cronenancy@q.comH 303-697-6010C 303-888-9203STACIA IRELAND,President elect3750 S 5450 WWest Valley City, UT84120saireland@comcast.netH 801-967-7562C 801-231-0046JOYCE PERATA,Treasurer340 21st St.Boulder, Co 80302joycedp7@gmail.comH 303-449-7128C 303-501-6150JUDY NEIHART,Registrar3011 S 2700 ESalt Lake City, UT 84109jneihart@msn.com

H 801-466-3923C 801-580-2659SANDY ENO737 Carquinez WayMartinez, CA 94553seer@jps.netH 925-228-0498C 925-917-0346CAROL FRIEDRICH20880 E 52nd Ave.Denver, CO 80249cronecarol@earthlink.netH 303-373-5135C 303-594-0923PAT CASNERP.O. Box 1227Mi-Wuk Village, CA95346plcasner@comcast.netH 209-586-5575SUSAN ANNSTAUFFER47 S 285 WIvins, UT 84738sastauffer@bajabb.com435-272-2009

2012 Contacts for CC BoardBETTY BROWN235 Southwind CircleRoswell, GA 30076bettyb2@bellsouth.net404-307-6433ADMINISTRATIVEASSISTANTMARTA QUEST2020 Hwy. 99 #5Ashland, OR 97520martaq.aq2a@hotmail.com406-225-5240

WEB MOTHERSUZANNEGRUBA232 West 4th Ave.Denver, CO 80223suzgruba@gmail.net720-961-3446

CRONETIMES EDITORKIANNA BADER9425 Montevideo Dr.Wilton, CA 95693kianna4064@gmail.com

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Volume 11, Number 2, CRONETIMES Page 7

MARY BUB is thefounder andpresident ofWisconsin RuralWomen’sInitiative, Inc.,http://www.ruralwomensinitiative.comproviding Gathering Circlesand personal developmentprograms for more that15 years.

By Mary Bub

She sat quietly, listeningintently to all of the otherwomen. Slowly, she got upand took the talking shawl,took her time to look over allof the cups on the center-piece, and chose one that wascracked and chipped.

She sat down, put theshawl around her shouldersand began. “I am 72 yearsold, I have lived on a farm allof my life. My father was afarmer and I married afarmer. I have never experi-enced anything like this be-fore. I am sitting here listen-ing to your stories and won-dering why I have never heardthem before. I don’t knowwhy I think I should share mystory now but here goes. Ichose this cup because it iscracked and chipped. In mylife, I was physically abusedby my father. When I marriedI thought that I would finallybe safe. My husband alsoabused me, verbally and emo-tionally. So, I am cracked andchipped but my husband diedthis year, and so. even thoughI am damaged I am still wholeand worth something.”

I was facilitating a Wiscon-sin Rural Women’s Initiative’sGathering Circle of farm andrural women when I realizedthat several of them were inthe second half of life. Moreand more I had noticed thatolder women were coming tothe Gathering Circle weekendGet-Aways that are offered byWisconsin Rural Women’sInitiative. As I listened to theirstories that were similar to theone above, I was sure that thenext program that needed to

be developed was an Elder-woman Gathering. Four ofthem have been held in the lastyear in various rural areas.The response has been over-whelming; the women wantmore. More Gathering Circles,more dialogue about becom-ing elderwomen and changingthe paradigm of what it meansto be a crone.

It was decided that theElderwoman Gathering shouldbegin with a day program.Because of a generous grantreceived by Wis-consin RuralWomen’s Initia-tive, the programcould be offeredat no cost to thewomen. Forty-five women at-tended the firstGathering. Thenext three wereequally as wellattended.

The day be-gan with a lovelycontinental breakfast. Next, Ioffered some of my ownthoughts about what I havecome to call Eldering withAttitude for women in the sec-ond half of life. I share myversion of the life stages ofwomen. I call them the Win-some Woman, the WonderWoman and the Wise Woman.

Winsome Woman—Atime between childhood andadulthood. A time of enor-mous change, drama, andfluctuation, hormones raging,relationships changing, thework of the Winsome Womanis to begin to identify her ownindependence, self-esteem,self-worth, likes and dislikes,creativity, and what she wants

to be when she grows up. Itis not an easy transition; it canbe the worst of times and thebest of times or A TIME FORYOU WIN SOME AND YOULOSE SOME.

Wonder Woman—Thetime when a woman thinks shehas to be all, do all, know all,and develop her own sense ofherself all at once. During thistime she is involved in manyrelationships, family, work,social environments. This is atime of lessons learned and at

times an all toocomfortable settlingin. For too manywomen this is atime in which sheloses herself in themany roles sheplays, the hats shewears, the controlor expectations ofothers, and the lackof time to continueher own personaldevelopment orgrowth.

Wise Woman—A timewhen traditional norms, rules,and life as usual seems not asfulfilling as it once was, oftenfamily relationships, jobs, andeven environments havechanges. These years how-ever, can be the most trans-formative—wisdom, experi-ence, and new learnings in-spire individual growth, callus to authenticity. The WiseWoman knows what sheknows, what she has experi-enced, and the truths in herlife. She begins to recognizean itch but is not quite surewhere or how to scratch it. Itis also a time to embrace newchallenges and see greatermeaning. She may be viewed

Listening to Elderwomen, a Rich Experience

“The women wantmore, more GatheringCircles, more dialogueabout becomingelderwomen, andchanging theparadigm of what itmeans to be a crone.

as eccentric for finding hervoice, but she finds peace, ex-citement, and happiness whenthese moments are shared.

It seems that the furtheralong I move on this cronejourney, the less I am flittingfrom one of the three stages toanother. I find that I am muchmore inclined to embrace theWise Woman and although Istill enjoy a moment or two ofwinsomeness, I too often findmyself back in the WonderWoman stage wondering wherethe winsome went.

After sharing the Winsome,Wonder, and Wise Womanstages we move into dialoguecircles and begin the conversa-tion asking questions relevantto the Wise Woman years. Thissharing brings into focus theissues that all women face butare hidden in the population ofrural and farm women. I haveheard heart-breaking stories ofisolation and loneliness, of do-mestic violence and sexual as-sault that these women havesuffered; some of them as chil-dren, who as adult women whowhen invited into a safe envi-ronment with no judgment aretelling their stories. Stories likethese are what have prompted anew program for Survivors ofDomestic Violence and SexualAssault. And, so it seems, thework is far from over, but thejourney is more than worth it.

Page 8 CRONETIMES, Volume 11, Number 2

Continued from July 2011 issue

Compiled by Kianna

In the July 2011 issue of CroneTimes, we left Betty in Nepalwhere she taught in a Tibetan Refugee Buddhist School for

three weeks. After that she flew to Africa via an unplannedtrip to Dubai. Then on to Kenya, Ireland, France, and Spain

before arriving safely home on December 2. I will report justa few of the highlights of these latest adventures.

In Kathmandu, every time I walk onto the street, it is an adven-ture. It’s kinda like this big museum stuffed with moving items thatare more than your eyes and senses can take in and is pretty exhaust-ing after 30 minutes or so. This morning I saw all the various peoplein assorted dress, beggars of all sorts, rickshaws (some with people but

others filled with many things including raw meat like the sides of acow or pig or something, shop owners sitting on the step calling tocustomers, trucks emitting their ghastly smoke and smell, various pushcarts filled with foods recognizable and not, cats and monkeys on roof-tops, dogs and cows in the street — do you get the picture?

The four Tibetan schools were to get together this week for aschool debate. The subject was the Dali Lama and it was to be a drillon his life, history, etc. Before getting together, the schools had to

make an application to thegovernment and it was de-nied. China is putting so muchpressure on Nepal that eventhough many Tibetan refugeeshave lived here for the past60 years they are gettingtougher all the time aboutpreserving Tibetan’s culture.The 6th of July is the DaliLama’s birthday and extremelyimportant to the Tibetan adultsand children of this area. He isthe spiritual light that helps make their sad invasion by China andplight of their country somewhat bearable. Since the Beijing WorldOlympics, the Tibetans’ ability to do or celebrate anything having to dowith the Dali Lama has become more and more difficult.

July 5th — The children have been preparing songs and dancesfor months to perform at a neighboring school. The event is supposedto be around 10:00 A.M. and the children have been released fromschool today to go home to their parents and travel with them instreet clothing to the event. The principal told the children to bringtheir school uniforms in bags and change there if they can reach theschool. It is expected that police will be stationed on all the roads toidentify and turnaround all people attempting to get to the MiddleSchool. The Principal told us that there would be Human Rights Activ-ists trying to help with the right of passage. Two groups of policecame to speak with the headmaster today to query him about thisschool having an event and allowing parents and community people intothe school grounds. Later a plain clothes police also came with thesame questions. The principal (monk in his robes) has asked me to ridewith him as his guest and I will report upon return.

July 6th — 3:00 P.M. I have returned safely but just barely as Iwanted to put myself in the jail/police truck to protest what I sawtoday. First, our car was stopped at the end of the driveway by policeasking if we were going to a celebration at another school. After theprincipal showed his Nepali passport and Nepali I.D. card and said re-peatedly — “I am Nepali, not Tibetan” they let us go. We took allback roads to the school and got a report on the way that 300 nunshad been turned around.

We arrived to find the school gate locked and probably 100 po-licemen and women with sticks and shields stating only the children andteachers of that school could get in — not even the parents to seetheir children perform. This was to be only a celebration of the D.L.’sbirthday; no banners of Free Tibet or any kind of political statement,

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and the people on the street were very upset to be denied entrance.The principal told me to go ahead as I am a foreigner, but they turnedme away from the gate three times. The police kept pushing thesegentle people back down the streets and telling them to go home. Onewoman tried to move forward and police were all over her and tried toget her in the police wagon but others pulled her free. They did arrestat least three men and forced them in the wagon. I was moved to

tears at least three times with this restriction of freedom of youngchildren, grand-fathers wanting to see their grandchildren, aged peoplewith restricted mobility, and so on.

After two hours, a Human Rights person finally got my principalthrough and he arranged for me to get in and have a place of honorin the main seating area. The program was innocent and lovely, fol-lowed by a luncheon where I learned that some of the mothers andschool officials/principals and children had climbed over the school wall(no small wall, 10-12 feet high with a kind of wiring on the top) togain access until the police realized what was happening and sur-rounded the entire compound at one point. One important officialshowed me his scratched hand and said several people had been hurt.

My time here has been happy and fulfilling and good until todayand it was overwhelming to realize how these peaceful people aretreated in what is for most — their own country.

JOURNEY HALF OVERWell, my journey is half over. Hard to believe I've been out of the

country for six months. I finally succumbed to the desire to take theMountain Flight to see Mt. Everest this past weekend. It was a neat

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flight. Although the bottom was covered with clouds (due to the rainyseason) we had a great, clear view of the top portion. It’s amazing tothink that most planes level off at an altitude of 30,000 feet and Ever-est is 29,000. That's a lot of mountain, my friends.

Nature Starved — or — why I'm ready to leave Nepal. Nepalhas been an interesting time/experience; one which I have enjoyed andhave no regrets about the time spent. I could not, however, take thecountry in a larger dose or should I say the city/valley, villages; wher-ever humans exist much longer. Ironic that in this place known for itsfabulous mountains and fertile valley fields, pain and suffering are soprevalent. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely glad I came here forthree months and it has been, in many ways my best experience, sofar. Doing the teaching at the school and being with the lovely Tibetanchildren, meeting and hanging out with a companion, Freema, andhaving all the adventures of trekking, viewing Mt. Everest, studyingBuddhism, yogi, etc., have been absolutelywonderful. I am happy, feel truly free andwelcome each day for what it mightbring. I am just not as connected tonature as I prefer to be.

FIRST LEG INTOCHINA

I learned that the next flight hadbeen canceled and had to go to HongKong to get flight to Dubai. Let me tellyou folks, Dubai is a place I don't thinkanyone would be able to make me under-stand. Talk about having just come fromNepal on the way to Africa and “lack of”to juxtaposition with Dubai was definitelytooooooooooo much.

There are so many skyscrapers in many sections and I can onlythink of them as a skyscraper/architectural park (like a sculpture park)because I saw no evidence of enough people to even fill them. Thehuge number of large shopping centers are depressing with their indoorsnow ski slopes, etc. It takes 250 million gallons of water a day just tomaintain all the greenery in the city. The numbers of luxury hotels andcondominiums are unfathomable.

On Monday I took Air Madagascar to Saint Marie Island on thenortheastern coast for five days for just very quiet ocean, sun, andsand. I traveled a few hours south of the village for my first nationalpark to see lemurs, baobab trees, and malagasy birds.

Arrived in Dublin on Thursday the 9th after 23 hours in the airand airports on the last of the killer travel times between loca-

My time here hasbeen happy andfulfilling and gooduntil today and it wasoverwhelming torealize how thesepeaceful people aretreated in what is formost — their owncountry.

many who was barn-minding here in County Antrim — about an hournortheast from Belfast. While she was here we walked trails around thearea and I went into Belfast with Liz and attended a Saturday music/storytelling session she holds every week in a studio that is part of theBarn. In addition to owning and running this Barn, Liz is a storyteller“par excellence.”

So back in Dublin for the last two days before heading off toSpain to teach with the conversational language program for one week,which friend Lesley High told me about over a year ago. Then touringwith Lane Franz and friends until I get home one month from today onDecember 2. I’m spending these last two days with Lane’s sister’s sister-in-law who lives in a posh area “Delkey” — a southern suburb/villageof Dublin — and just took a walk past Bono (U-2) and Jeremy Armsand Enya (singer) houses. Enya’s house is a modern castle.

I had a great week with wonderful Spaniards doing conversationalEnglish for a languagetraining group and havejust spent the weekend inToledo. It’s a really goodtourist city with lots ofhistory, old buildings,walls, museums, etc., thatI would put on the list foranyone coming to Spain.It’s also a 20-minute high-speed train ride fromMadrid; so easy to get to;small enough to see at aleisurely pace and with food,drink, and exercise enough to round out a weekend or day.

This has been one heck of a journey for this ole gal.

tions. Enjoyed Dublin for a few days eating Western food again afternine months. I had a big, juicy hamburger, Irish beer, corned beef, awhole Cadbury milk chocolate bar with almonds and am wondering justhow wild I can be before settling down to a healthier routine.

Spent yesterday on a five-hour hike in strong, Irish winds. I amdrunk from nature.

It was so wonderful to again be so present with mother natureand all her elements; especially the wind.

Had a great time in Western Ireland last week staying with twoServas gals. Una Brown had a cute cottage near Portnoo and a showgarden that is open for tours as one of the lovely gardens of Donegaland Cary Meehan who lives in Creeslough and has written a book onsacred sites in Ireland. I visited a Crones Counsel friend's(Kianna) ancient castle in the area and was able to get to an area(Horn Head) for a great eight-mile seaside walk where I saw threeseparate rainbows followed by intense rain and sunshine.

On Friday I will go see the reason I came to Northern Ireland —the Giant’s Causeway — a natural volcano-formed basalt-rock columnformation whose stones are in hexagon formation and stretches fromIreland, under the sea and ends in Scotland. I’m excited. I spent threeto four hours at the Causeway and it was everything I had hoped itwould be.

I thought nothing could top my time in County Claire and evenhad some reservations about coming to this more remote area of North-ern Ireland as to isolation, etc. (eight miles in the countryside from anyvillage). However, it has turned out to be “the best for last” of mypersonal adventures in Ireland. It has combined a small town/areacloseness within a beautiful nature setting with a balance of activitiesand quieter times.

When I arrived I overlapped with a young woman, Liz, from Ger-

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A Call for Workshop LeadersWould you like to share your expertise with us inSalt Lake City? Our theme is “GATEWAYS ANDTHRESHOLDS,” so perhaps you can imagine yourworkshop into our gathering.

The number of workshops will be limited, due tothe free time we have allowed for visiting thesurrounding areas. Get your application in soon to:annie lehto at cronenancy@q.com for anapplication, or by snail mail: annie lehto, 7220Andrea Lane, Morrison, CO 80465.

BETTY AT THE GIANT’S CAUSEWAY inNorthern Ireland.

BETTY’S FEAKLE FAMILY (on the right) from CountyClaire, and Dee Barry/husband who helped throughfriend, Janet Galipo, to arrange my visit.

To the anguish of the dispossessed and dyingTo the world as it is,Not as we would like to picture it to be,

And it is we, the older womenWho can lead the way.We who have lived and struggled throughThe slow years of throwing offThe strangling grip of the patriarchyThat conditioned us with an iron handAnd taught us to conform--To being so much lessThan all we were and could be;

We who have lived through the horror of warsAnd their heart-rending losses.To the controlling, numbingUse of fear to enslave us;We who have gained wisdomFrom years of learning life’s lessons,Teaching our children,Watching them struggle to grow up,Trying to fit them to liveIn a challenging, changing world.

Surely we are the onesWho now have the time,The wisdom and the experienceWho can best lead the way.Who else is so well prepared?Who else has the experienceOf dealing with empathy and caringWith a mother’s and grandmother’sHeart and love and healing?

Will we rise to the challenge?

By Ann Emerson, 98

Now when electronic wizardryLets us reach out instantly across the

oceansTo new-found friendsAnd to the cherished onesFrom years gone by,There has dawned a new realityOf understanding and of sharing,Of being in the larger worldWhere tragedies are internationally feltAnd the striving for peaceAnd empathy for humanityHave taken on a worldwide scope.

We stand trembling on the vergeOf destroying our worldWith our selfishnessAnd unthinking indulgenceOr of building bridgesOf peace and caring, sharing;Of empathy and understandingOf becoming a part of the world of

humanityWith like hopes, aims and yearnings.

We can no longer pursue our solitaryIndividual absorptionImpervious to the larger woesOf humankind.Slowly we are becoming vulnerable and openTo the deep burden of the oppressed,To the shattering horror of a catastropheHalfway across the world;

Dawning Insight

Here’s an updated pictureof Mom after her CreativeWriting class at theUniversity of Reginarecently. She is editing herlife story and we’re puttingit on her website. Sheturned 98 May 31. Amazing,isn’t she? We hope to be inSalt Lake City, Creatorwilling and the U.S. doesn’tself-destruct in themeantime!

— Lynn Emerson, daughter