CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS

FOR HR AND MANAGEMENT

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SESSION OBJECTIVES

Receive the tools to prepare for high-stakes conversations, transform anger, turn hurt feelings into powerful dialogue, and learn to engage in constructive, crucial conversations.

Create a pool of shared meaningStart with the heartMaster my storiesDiagnose the real problemInfluence using natural consequences

DID YOU KNOW…

Most organizational failures, team disasters, and family breakups are

the natural result of chronic problems people

have either failed to confront or who have confronted poorly.

SMALL TABLE DISCUSSION

What is the most difficult HR discussion you have entered into and what was the outcome?

WE HAVE A CHOICE… Silence – seeing a problem and not addressing it We give our unspoken approval We look like we are playing favorites We continue to tell ugly stories (and the only get worse) We create a culture of spotty accountability

Violence – seeing a problem and trying to force our way to a solution We become hypocritical We turn the spotlight on our self We become blind to our need to improve

Engage in a constructive conversation

WHAT IS THE DRIVER FOR HAVING EFFECTIVE CONVERSATIONS?Effective peer, upward and team member accountability

Difficult conversations are had early on to avoid legal issues

Expectations are clarified up front

Relationships are built or improved

Long-term growth for you and your company

Developing a sustainable culture; not an HR initiative

Leaders effectively manage (lead) the people and the business

Remember: Difficult conversations come in all shapes and sizes, can be extraordinary to face and when we do engage in them, we are usually not at our best.

THE SKILLS

CREATE A POOL OF SHARED MEANING From Vital Smarts:

“Each of us enters a conversation with our own opinions, feeling, theories, and experiences about the topic. These make up our personal pool of meaning. When two or more people enter a crucial conversation, we build a pool of shared meaning—the more we add of each person’s meaning, the more information is available to everyone involved and the better the decisions made.”

SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY When we are staring at a complex problem, trying to decide what to fix, we have a tendency to address the:Small over BigEasy over HardRecent over RightGroundhog Day

UNBUNDLE WITH CPR

Content Pattern Relationship

FEELINGS, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA FEELINGS When someone lets us down, we react with an emotion Our emotions affect our actions Strong negative emotions lead to silence or violence

PATH TO ACTION

See & Hear Tell a Story Feel Act

FUNDAMENTAL ATTRIBUTION ERROR When considering the “why” behind a particular action, people almost always assume poor motive. Rarely do people consider ability. Rarely do they consider external forces.

6 SOURCE MODEL

Motivation Ability

Personal Feel pleasure & congruence

Have skills & knowledge

Social (Others/Peers)

What is the impact of/om others?

Do others help or hinder

Structural Carrots & Sticks (what things

reward or punish)

What things enable or dis-enable?

DIALOGUE

DESCRIBE THE GAP

The difference between what was expected and what was received.

End with a question.

6 SOURCE MODEL IS BACK

Motivation Ability

Personal Feel pleasure & congruence

Have skills & knowledge

Social (Others/Peers)

What is the impact of/om others?

Do others help or hinder

Structural Carrots & Sticks (what things

reward or punish)

What things enable or dis-enable?

MOTIVATION ACTIVITY

POWER VERSUS NATURAL CONSEQUENCES We want quick results or feel vulnerable. We have it. We can all use it (as a last resort) but do not start with it. Our ability to influence comes in when we clarify natural consequences. Those natural things that will happen as a result of not meeting expectations.

CLOSURE

Who does what by when and follow up.

ACTION LEARNING PRACTICE

Pair with a partner and use the following scenario:

“A senior leader in your organization is not managing the performance of his/her team. Several performance issues have been brought to you in HR.

What would this accountability conversation with the senior leader sound like?

IT ALL STARTS WITH…

FOR MORE INFORMATION

www.vitalsmarts.com Crucial Conversations Crucial Accountability Influence Change Anything

Rebecca Baybayan, OE Manager, Micron Technology703 396 1252