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CONTENTS BAYWATCH Issue 13

Interview with a Graffiti Artist...... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 Trophy Day......................................................... 2 Poems by Damon Arnesen....................................... 4, 12 Poems................................................................ 6

Poems- Jacinto de Freitas....................................... 7 Confessions of a letter writer........ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I 0 Fishing for Squid....................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I 0 Rice cooker recipe................................................ 14 Reflections from the Waller....................................... 15 The Truth about Failure.......................................... 17 Find-a-word...................................................... 19

Thanks to: R. Arthurell Damon Arnesen Jacinto De Freitas Nick Grayson Sean Watts Paul Renete Shane Hatfield D.C. Damir UGG Pam Sullivan Authors and artists who remain un-named Staff who have supported the project, especially Laurel Doell SCEO at MSPC 1,2 4

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EDITORIAL

Here is issue 13 ofBaywatch, the inmate newsletter ofMSPC 1,2 4.

As always, you will find a collection of creative and reflective writing, and some exquisite drawings done by writers and artists in this part of the Long Bay Complex. Please take what inspiration you find in these contributions, and pick up your pen or pencil, to add to the pile of pieces for the next issue!

Kit Shepherd Education MSPC I ,2,4 May 2006

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INTERVIEW WITH A GRAFFITI ARTIST

Nick Grayson recently showed me some of his mtwork. some stark drawings that were done with a firm and confident hm1d. As I looked more closely I could see that what had at first seemed like pleasing shapes, were in fact variations on letters. I was being drawn into the work of a graffiti artist. I took the conversation further. ...

Kit: How did you come to do this amazing mtwork?

Nick: It's an unusual story ... .it was by chance! When I was about 12 my parents wouldn't let us smoke, so we used to go under the railway bridge near where I lived. One day I was there with my friends, and a few boys were painting on the wall. I noticed them and as I stayed and looked closer, I saw that they were piecing letters together, then adding colour. What they were doing was transformed into writing; I was looking at graffiti' I was fascinated by it.

K: How did it continue from there?

N: I got myself a tag, which was a long process of seeing which letters sit right together. ·

K: What is a tag?

N: It's your own sign. that sticks with you. Other graffiti mtists won't use it.

K: Would you call graffiti a style of writing, or art?

N: I see it as art. Ifs like doodling .... you work up different ways to put letters to look good.

K: What is your favourite letter?!

N: WelL it's more about words than letters .... the way you form them together.

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The words I'm working with at the moment are: task, tape, tare. take .... so I suppose I like t's and k's'

K: Is this something that people do in a group, or is it an individual activity?

N: It's a cultural thing; pmt of Hip Hop. Within that, people recognise it. Hip Hop includes Rap (which has things like freestyle and ciphering*), Breakdance and Graffiti. Anyone who knows one of these will know the others. Dress is part of the culture too: baggy clothes, baseball caps, Adidas shoes, shell tips on your shoes, fat shoelaces. Since I was young, this has been big in my area .... nearly everyone I know is in some part of the culture.

K: Is there anything else you'd like to tell people who don't know about graffiti?

N: Artists look for the most risky place to do their work: the more visible (say on a billboard), or the more 'secure' a place is, it they get their work up, they get credit for that. There are a lot of websites and magazines that publish people's mtworks. Thatlkyou!

*ciphering is a tOrm used in creating rap-lyric.s. where the final word or line ffom one singer is taken up by another singec to be their first line ... This can be seen as a form or play. challenge or combat setting each other up with a tricky taskt

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TROPHY DAY

A few years ago. when i was l3 years old i used to play for a team called Bankstown sports. Our team colours were green and gold. We weren't the best team in the comp. I think we came third last at the end of the season. Better than being wooden spooners!

I played on the wing cause I was pretty tiny, but I preferred playing in the centres.

It was trophy day and the presentation day was being held at Casablanca Theme Park. I was excited about the day cause it was a special day for me. When I got there most of the footy team was already there.

I brought my mother, brothers and sisters with me for moral support. I had an awesome time running amuck in the park with my team mates plus my brothers and sisters had a good time as well. Even though it was raining a bit it didn't dampen our moods. After running amuck we had a feed. It was steak and a sausage sizzle I think. Just the usual stock standard barbecue except there was heaps left over so my mother put some away for later.

It was time for the team and I to get our 'trophies'. We went into some kind of hall. It wasn't that special or anything. nothing flashy anyways. The club couldn't afford a fancy hall for us, the cheapskates' .

But anyways. back to the story at hand. It was time for our trophies and I couldn't wait I was that pumped (excited). I didn't even notice at the time how nervous I was.

We all got the same trophies which were small but they were alright to my

eyes. It was a man or a boy holding a footy like he was running with it. I thought that there was no trophies to give out until the end when everyone on the team got their trophies. They started calling out a few names I think it was about four of them and they called my name as well. My heart skipped a beat cause· I wasn't expecting my name to be called out.

I went up there with the other four of my team mates and stood next to them with my hands and knees shaking and I could feel my mouth and throat starting to go all dry and stuff.

I can't remember what my team mates trophies were. I think one was for the best and fairest in the team, my trophy was the 'coach's player" or something like that.

I was happy with myself and I started to relax. The trophy was about 30 em long. It was a beautiful think all shiny and sparkly. I thought I was the man walking off the stage with it.

To my family I felt they were proud of me. It's a shame my old man wasn't there to see me and support me. But it did not deter me from my special day, my trophy day, my day.

Author's name withheld. November 2005

LUN(j tsAY

N v I s I T s G R D B N w u D

0 0 u E L 0 R A p 0 s K I M Q

I 0 G T L s E G R A H c F I J

T w y T E E s c 0 R T y A R D

A E E G E T M y G c L L E c p

c l X D 0 L I B R A R y L s p

I F y E u L E G A l A I D c R

F A u B R c 0 B M H N T M R E

I R v I c c A H s I J F K E T

s E I T I v I T c A H J X w s s I N M A T E s I y 0 F K s u A c R E l E A s E 0 s G p 0 M

l M R E c E p T I 0 N p c A w c I R c L E l J D I J s l Q D

c w B M D G l X w v E D M E I

Activities Legalaid

Aod Letgo

Cell Library

Charges Muster

Circle Parole

Classification Programs

Clinic Psychology

Crim Reception

Crimes Release

Education Screws

Escort Visits

Exercise Welfare

Gym Wing

Inmates Yard

A SIMPLE VOICE

Tried a lot of ways to live my life, Been married and traveled and got in some strife

Doing it your way or doing it mine Does it really ever matter

Cause in the end I'm as mad as a hatter!

Whether it's a rainy day or bright sunshine, It's deep inside, the shadows are blind,

So where does one need to draw the line, Is it in the sand or the back of my mind?

People can always be so unkind, And I look for ways to somehowunwind,

There's so much torture and unruly stealth, So why do I keep on blaming myself?

Is it really me who's always at fault, Or is the secret hidden inside some vaults?

As I try to find the secret combination It's a desperate search for the destination

Do we truly care what it's all about, Is it love or freedom or power and clout?

I'm not the one with all the answers, I'm just a purist and a hopeless romancer.

I've loved and lost and been such a sinner Love seemed to go to the highest bidder.

As my head thumps and my heart grieves It's the final heartbreak at the hands of thieves

By Damon Arnesen

you can always tell when a man is a non-conforming; he looks like every other non-conformist. • ·

I used to think I was indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

THE TRUTH ABOUT FAILURE

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure .... It does mean you haven't succeeded yet.

Failure doesn't mean you have accomplished nothing ... It does mean you have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean you have been a fooL.. It does. mean you had lot of faith.

Failure doesn't mean you have been disgraced ... It does mean you were willing to try.

Failure doesn't mean you don't have it. .. It does mean you have to do something in a different way.

Failure doesn't mean you are inferior... · It does mean you are not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean you've wasted your life ... It does mean you've got a reason to start afresh.

Failure doesn't mean you should give up ... It does mean you should try harder.

Failure doesn't mean you'll never make it. .. It does mean it will take a little longer.

--Author Unknown

BY CHANGING YOUR THINKING

By changing your thinking, you change your beliefs

When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations

When you change your expectations, you change your attitude

When you change your attitude, you change your behaviour

When you change your behaviour. you change your performance

When you change your performance, you change your life

--Author Unknown

[From the Public Domain]

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WOMAN OF MY DREAMS

Sweetheart- you came to me, As if from one of my dreams. Created by my thoughts and mind, At least - that's how it seems ....

With such flawless precision. You're perfect in every way. A woman of such beauty, In my heart you will always stay ...

Rare qualities - now seldom seen, You're a true treasure my love, The air and grace of an angel, Sent to me, from God above ...

You've reached deep into my soul, Awakened this long forsaken heart. Giving me some hope of a life, Please- don't ever let us pa1t ...

My love for you grows and grows, In my heart you will always stay. For I crave only you I' II love you - forever and and day ...

T. H.

To be sure of winning invent your own game and never tell other players the rules.

Forgive me for allowing me to be . hurt by you so easily!

You're not alone in your loneliness.

Until I hear how you are I can only remember how you were!

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REFLECTIONS FROM THE WALLER

When I first come to jail it was hell living for 3 months in a dry cell I was treated like a baby I wish they'd let us do something for ourselves. The days were long and the nights were restless. I've star.ed a new book I wonder ifl'll get through it tonight. I wonder how much exercise I'll do before I go to sleep. I wonder if tomorrow will be the same routine. Someone tells me to pack up. I'm going to the hospital. Big shock, from here on it's every man for themselves. Now I think about safe cells. Keep you stable and well. The one thing I wasn't happy about ... having nothing in your cell.

* *

Every day I wake up my eyes closed, my mind racing telling me all sorts of things ... if I just keep my eyes closed, I will not be here when I open them later. My stomach in knots, my chest feels like a truck is parked on it, my mind starts going in all directions ... .I have to work out a puzzle, then I will be able to go home. I hate this filthy disgusting torture hellhole- it's f. .. .ing killing me.!

* * What can I say about his unit. .. Well, we get let out of the cells usually around 8:00 in the morning, that is, if we're not locked in for the day .... Some days we have groups of one type or another, other days we don't have anything, these days I usually find the longest. The lunches and dinners we get are usually crappy. looking at them, you have to wonder if the powers that be really think that someone would eat them. Lunch time lock-ins are OK. as I usually get to read a little more of whatever book I'm reading at the time.

Afternoons are usually OK and go pretty quick, especially when you cook up or help cook up. The afternoon lock -ins pretty much seem to fly by, then you look forward to the final lock-in, that's when you pretty much know that the day's over. One of the things I really look forward to is marking off the days on my calendar, each day over means another day closer to going home! Some nights I get to sleep OK, other nights it's a dead-set shocker. You toss and turn, desperately trying to get to sleep, the harder you try, the worse it is. After a while, you get into a routine of listening for the screws every half hour or so, the rattle of their keys and waiting for the moment when they shine the light in your face to see you you're asleep.

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COOKING CLASS

Today is Tuesday and here at the Kevin Waller Unit it's a good day. It's a good day, well better than most because we have a cooking class on.

The prison pays for a professional chef to come in and teach us to cook ... a different recipe every week. This week is rissoles and home made chocolate for dessert.

There are only 5 in a class and so seeing how there are 10 or 12 men in our unit, we are divided into 2 classes which run for 5 weeks each.

My favourite dish so far has been sun­dried tomato meat balls, and upside down pineapple cake with whipped fresh cream for dessert.

l am looking forward very much to eating today's recipe.

RECIPE FOR THE RICE-COOKER

Thanks to 'Damir' for one of his favourite recipes (learned from chef Nick)

"When 1 cook I prefer to cook for a couple of friends, not just myself. I don't like eating on my own; I enjoy the company of others while eating."

SOY-CHICKEN WITH RICE for 4 people

• Cook 1 kg rice for 16 min. Decant rice-cooker, clean for next stage.

" Heat I cup oil for 5 minutes; add Y, cup soy sauce (it doesn't sputter when hitting the hot oil). Add 2 kg chicken pieces, the size of half a wing, cook 40 minutes.

• Decant and clean rice-cooker for next stage.

SAUCE • Cook together 3 onions diced, one head of garlic (10 doves), !OOg ginger

(fresh) chopped and 2 capsicum, diced. • After browned, add 1 cup soy sauce and I cup honey. • Mix well, allowing honey to dissolve.

SERVE Chicken on rice, and ladle sauce over the top.

Serve with your favourite beverage!

LIKE THE NEWS, BUT CAN'T READ?

2RPH IS SYDNEY'S RADIO READING SERVICE: RADIO FOR THE PRINT HANDICAPPED

RADIO AM BAND:

2RN 702 2GB 2UE 2KY SBS 2CH 12242RPH 2SM

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UNTITLED

They take your faith They steal your pride Forced to live in shame They won't let you hide

You don't believe, It's just not true

Vicious rumours They spread about you

They tum and whisper As you walk by They don't know the truth They spread a lie

Behind your back They speak your name The lies they spread Cause you such pain

That's okay You know it's not true All that matters is Belief from you

From your strength All comes true For your belief Will get me through

I have walked with my head down I've been lead with my hands bound I have knelt with my head in shame I have searched for another to blame I've looked inside but found no joy I've searched my soul there's not but a boy

I look to the stars hoping for a sign I've overlooked the sign in mine The sign I' II find inside of me The strength I need so I can be I will walk with my heart bound I'll walk alone till you I've found

Your babbling leaves me wondering Thinking about the things you said Letters from so long ago Thoughts stuck in my head Your babbling leaves me pondering Letters that I never read?!

By Ray De Freitas

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Whether adversity be a stumbling block, discipline or blessing, depends altogether on the use made of it. -Anonymous

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night It is the breath of a buffalo in the winter time: it is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. -Las/ words ofCrowfoo/, a great hunler of !he Blackfoot

A man may fall and fall many times, but he isn't a failure until he blames somebody else for pushing him. -James Burroughs

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I followed you then but let you go I tried to run the Damon show. I know with you it's the only way, And freedom from guilt is what I pray .

I know it's hard when life goes astray, It's free from the drugs that's what I pray, This life, this existence is not the way. It's to know you better, that's what I pray. I know I can do it, I've done it before, I've had several years maybe even more.

It's when I turn my back on you do I hit the floor.

The life I was leading was not much fun, Scamming and stealing and a life on the ruu. Too scared to go home or answer the phone, Or hide in the room from a knock on the door. My life hit the skids cause I picked up once more.

With the unexpected ahead of me now I ask for your blessing, please hear me somehow In rhythm and rhyme I poet along To at last be free and to right all my wrongs.

By Damon Arnesen * *

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AN AUSTRALIAN POEM

Of course I love ya darling You're a bloody top notch bird And when I say you're gorgeous I mean every single word So ya mum is on the big side I don't mind a bit of flab It means that when I'm ready There's something there to grab So your belly isn't flat no more I tell, ya, I don't care So long as when I cuddle ya I <{!ll1 get my arms round there No sheila who is your age Has nice round perky breasts They just gave in to gravity But I know ya did your best I'm telling ya the truth now I never tell ya lies

its very sexy you've go dimples on ya thighs

I think That Iswe Them !tho !was Nom I'll a! Now And

ar on me nanna's grave now oment that we met

ught u was as good as ever gonna get atter wot u look like ways love ya dear shut up while the footy' s on ge me another beer!

Au tho r unknown

Even when I'm happy and successful life still goes on.

If we keep talking to each other we may eventually find something we can talk about

If you hide your true feelings long enough you may eventually forget what they are.

LIFE (my struggle)

Dear lord I pray to you. I need your help to pull me through, From misery and doubt, Dear lord please hear me shout, Please take the demons out.

I've nowhere else to run, This game is not much fun. From hell and back to you, I ask please pull me through. You know what I can do, You know what I have done. I've tried to carry on, With you as number one.

Then loneliness sets in, My disease it wants to win. So please help me carry on, With you I can be strong. See I have a sad disease, That makes me ill at ease. Then items I have to thieve.

I sit here lonely and sad, For the things that I've done bad. Again it drives me mad. My mother I have hurt, From the neighbour that I burnt, I carry guilt and shame, From playing this silly game.

At 43 again I stuck the needle in I did it just for fun. From nowhere I could run.

My disease is not a game It's a life just full of pain. I was a fool to use again, I got mixed up and lost again.

My heart it aches for my freedom lost I pay the price if s such a cost. Never again do I want to use. Cause what I've got's too much to lose.

I realise now but not back then I committed crimes and lost a lot

It was all for the need of that rotten shot. I had it good, nice place, girlfriend, Though the painful truth was it had to end.

My life right now is a dreadful mess, In a I Oft cell, sore back and stress. I miss my girl - Luissa she is, Though it started with her, With a shot of whiz.

Not even my bloody drug of choice, What happened to that inner voice? I can't blame her - I was the mug, I chose to use that putrid drug.

Now look where I am. It was because I used heroin .....

I started to steal and get away with it. My God how could I ever believe that shit. The things I did were seriously dumb, I did it for drugs such a costly sum.

Now as I reflect on what I did, I pay the price, such a costly bid! I put my hand up before thinking it out, And have god on my side to keep those demons out.

Now I must walk the walk that's without a doubt. And have god on my side to keep those demons out.

My life dear lord was pretty cool And I'm not alone when I walk with you. When I'm released or get my chance, Only then will I be enhanced.

It's you dear lord J do respect. As I sit in here with time to reflect. It's the people and things I miss the most Like Luissa and Mum and the central Coast.

STOCKMAN'S SONG

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The boss came to the station door, and said, as he'd said before: "Today is mustering day, so get up and let's get away'' We met a mob not far away, and brought them back without delay. An old Black Bull ran at the track But the Stockn1an Brought him back.

From: Kimberley Bushrangers and Poets Author Unknown 1896 {Pub 1986. Fremantle)

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CONFESSIONS OF A LETTER­WRITER

Interview with a student in the VOTP

Kit: You often ask me for writing paper! What do you use it for?

D: People write to me, and I like to write back. There's one person especially who I write long letters to ... about 1 0 pages each time.

K: Do you enjoy it then?

D: Yes, it's a good way to keep in touch, and to develop friendships. The girl I am writing to at Kempsey began as a penfi·iend ... someone else put us in contact with each other. Now we write about once a month. It takes about 9-15 days for the letters to get through. I like to keep in touch with friends in other gaols too.

K: Is it different developing a relationship on paper like this. than face to face')

D: Yes. especially with a woman; you can communicate on a different level than with men. She's not like one of the boys: she doesn't swear. so there's more respect. Also she's not from Sydney. so we talk about different things. If she's got problems. I give her advice. and she often takes it I I make her feel good about herself. and I can be sympathetic to her needs.

!like having her as a penfriend. because I can write whatever comes into my head: I don't beat around the bush. She likes that!

K: Do vou write letters when you live out of gaol"

D: No. never. But inside. it's natural to do it. At first I wrote only two

pages, but now l write at least· four if I'm answering their letter, or if I've got something to say. It's easier for me to write than to talk to someone. You can think about it beforehand. !like to try new things too ... colour paper, different ways of writing. and little designs on the page.

K: Thankyou, D, I think letter-writing is a really important thing to be able to do, and your story is a great example!

FISHING FOR SQUID

!like fishing with my dad. He teaches me things I didn't know. Most of the time we go at night. When we are fishing for squid we use a lure. llike using a lure because of the way it moves in the water and you don't need to add more bait every five minutes. The tricky thing is when you use the lure you have to be careful not to get it caught on the wharf etc.

A good way to find a good squid location is to see ifthere is a I ight on the wharf. Squid are attracted to this but they don't like direct light eg from a torch. Another thing to look out for is ink spots on the wharf. This is the squid defence.

The defence the squid has is used against predators. It shoots ink and while the predator can't see the squid escapes.

The squid has a beak for a mouth.

You can eat squid if you like. It is called calamari.

The squid's scientific name is cephlapod. It is a close relation of the cuttlefish. Most people with birds feed their birds dried out cuttlefish backbone. The caphlapod has been around for over a million years and thought to be one of the oldest things in existence.