cultivating your child's character workshop

January 2014!

Cultivating Your Child’s Character��Krista Keintz, MS BCBA!

Agenda��

✤ Introductions!

✤ Cultivating Character!

✤ Your Character Inheritance!

✤ Yearly. Schedule!

✤ Monthly. Planning Time!

✤ Daily. Practice Happy!

image via 5feet20.com!

Welcome, introductions��

✤ Board Certified Behavior Analyst - science in which the analysis of behavior are applied systematically to improve social significant behavior... in other words, the science of learning!

✤ Montessori Educator - drawn to the concept of the prepared environment and the possibility for meaningful, individualized education in a group-setting!

✤ Unlikely pairing of disciplines but experience has proven them to have a powerful synergy!

Introducing, you!��

✤ A little survey with a show of hands...!

✤ How old are your children? Younger than two? Toddler community? Three-to-six classroom? Six-to-nine classroom? Older than nine?!

✤ How many children are in your family? One? Two? Three? Four? More?!

✤ (no show of hands) Would you say that you have been successful teaching your children self control & self discipline? Yes or No?!

Cultivating Character��

✤ Only 34% of parents say they have been successful teaching their children self control & self discipline (Public Agenda, 2002) !

✤ Character is not an item of knowledge which can be taught through learning or imitation. It is a conquest made during life through personal exercise and through personal experience. (Dr. Maria Montessori, A New World & Education)!

✤ Whether habits are planned and created conscientiously, or allowed to be haphazardly filled in by chance, they are habits all the same. Habit rules ninety-nine percent of everything we do. (Charlotte Mason)!

Your Turn.��Your Character Inheritance��

✤ Five minutes of reflection...!

✤ What 5 character qualities were most valued in your family of origin?!

✤ Which of these would your best friend say describe you?!

✤ What 5 character qualities do your children see you demonstrate most often?!

Cookie Cutter?��

✤ Tonight I will be sharing a framework which is yours to personalize...a starting point for your own journey as a family this year!

✤ Not intended to be used for didactic teaching of character! Dr. Montessori reminds, “Do not tell them how to do it. Show them how to do it and do not say a word. If you tell them they will watch your lips move. If you show them, they will want to do it themselves.” !

image via themomiwanttobe.com!


✤ Challenge One: Real life often gets in the way of our best intentions (Only 8% of people are successful at keeping their New Year’s resolutions) !

✤ Goal One: Help each family create space to define their own intentional parenting practices (specific resolutions = 10x more likely to meet their goals)!

Source: University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2014"


✤ Challenge Two: Cultivating character is an expansive task & more information is not always more (Jam Study: 24 jams, 60% try, 3% buy; 6 jams, 40% try, 30% buy)!

✤ Goal Two: Support parents as they prioritize and simplify their approach to cultivating character in their children!

Source: Iyengar & Lepper. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 2000"

Cultivating Character Framework��

✤ Challenge Three: Nebulous parent guilt is prolific because progress is often missed as new challenges arise & because perfection can be the enemy of satisfaction (Maximizers show less commitment to their choices than satisfiers in a way that leaves them less satisfied with their choices.)!

✤ Goal Three: Enrich daily practices at home that will result in meaningful & measurable outcomes.!

Source: Sparks, Ehrlinger, & Eibach. Personality and Individual Differences, 2012

Yearly.��Schedule Character Planning Time��

✤ Pick the same child-free time every month (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th) (day of the week) every month for 20-min Planning Time!

✤ Write on 2014 calendar!

✤ Consider using google invitation reminders!

✤ Your turn...!

image via photo.elsoar.com!

Monthly.��Character Planning Time��

✤ Make it a special, grown-up only time!

✤ You will take 4 steps during your planning time each month!

✤ Plan for 15-30 minute time commitment each month!

✤ You’ll need your Character Calendar, knowledge of your personal library or internet!

image via lilsugar.com!

Character Planning Time��

✤ One. Select one character quality that is in line with your family values & seems appropriate for your child to place special emphasis for the month and write in the left column on your Cultivating Character Calendar!


✤ Two. Write down concrete (i.e. act-out-able) definition of what that character quality would looks like in action in your family in the right column of your Cultivating Character Calendar!

✤ Look for a specific, developmentally-appropriate action to practice!

✤ Toddler: “I demonstrate patience when I sit & wait when asked for 30 seconds without getting up.”!

✤ 3/6: “I demonstrate patience when I quietly play with my Super Special Box toys while mom is on the phone.”!

✤ 6/9: “I demonstrate patience by making a paper chain to count down to special events”!

Character Planning Time��✤ Three. Select a new story to

enhance your library that showcases to character quality and record on the Resources side of your calendar!

✤ Consider using library books, Starring You How To Story, video clip or personal anecdotes!

✤ Books should be beautiful & have literary merit on their own!


✤ Four. Select a meaningful way for your family to celebrate demonstration of the character quality for the month and record on the Resources side of your calendar!

✤ 3/6: Extra just me & mom time after phone call!

✤ 6/9: Special outing with dad to zoo after week of waiting!

Your Turn.��Character Planning Time��

✤ Select one character quality that is in line with your family values & seems appropriate for your child to place special emphasis for the month and write in the left column on your Cultivating Character Calendar !

✤ Write down specific, concrete (i.e. act-out-able) definition of what that character quality would looks like in action in your family in the right column of your Cultivating Character Calendar!

✤ Select one new story (library book, Starring Me Story, video clip or personal anecdote) that is relevant to the character quality and record on the Resources side of your calendar!

✤ Select a meaningful way for your family to celebrate demonstration of the character quality for the month and record on the Resources side of your calendar!

image via vintage.es!

Daily.��Practice Happy��

✤ Model. Children should see you authentically engaging in the character quality this month. !

✤ Read Aloud. Read or tell stories that showcase the real-life value of a particular character trait. !

✤ Role Play. Create FUN invitations to practice using the new skills. Personal exercise & experience trump lectures!!

✤ Celebrate. Flip the “go to the principal’s office” paradigm. Celebrate the good & highlight the natural positive consequences. !

image via nurturingparentsandteachers.com!

Character Qualities Resources��

✤ Character First: www.characterfirst.com/qualities/!

✤ Josephson Institute: www.charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html!

✤ Character Education Partnership: www.character.org/!

✤ Picture Book Recommendations: www.apsva.us/cms/lib2/VA01000586/Centricity/Domain/287/character-traits-hfj.pdf!

✤ Ask your child’s classroom teacher for reading recommendations!

✤ Visit the biehus blog: www.biehus.wordpress.org!

✤ Resources drawn from religious texts meaningful to your family!

Intelligence is not enough. Intelligence plus character... that is the true goal of education. - Martin Luther King, Jr.!

Krista Keintz!biehus.wordpress.com!

[email protected]!