daniel c. finley president and co-founder advisor solutions, inc. managing your inner advisor...
TRANSCRIPT
Daniel C. FinleyPresident and Co-founder
Advisor Solutions, Inc.
Managing Your Inner AdvisorStrategies for Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster
Managing Your Inner Advisor
Understanding the Emotional Roller Coaster: My Story
Emotional Roller Coaster: Patterns
The Four Most Common Types of Negative Self-Talk
Steps to Conquering Negative Self-Talk
Examples of Negative Self-Talk
Action Steps to Managing Your Inner Advisor
Session Agenda
“The inner advisor is that little voice—positive or negative—that dictates your thoughts, feelings and actions. You know that little voice inside your head which tells you that you will make it or you will not make it in this business. It’s your ability to manage your inner advisor that will get you off the emotional roller coaster ride”.
Daniel C. Finley
Advisor Solutions, Inc
Managing Your Inner Advisor
My Original Red Spiral Notebook Marked “Ideas” Evolved into Daily Log of Self Discovery
Disenchantment with Process led to Shelving the Log for a Time
Picking Log Back Up & Review of Past Entries Led to Self-Realization of Personal Emotional Roller Coaster
Understanding the Emotional Roller Coaster: My Story
Emotional Roller Coaster: Patterns
Beginning of the Emotional Descent
Emotional Valley
Emotional Assent
Emotional Peak
Ending the Ride
Definition of negative self-talk by Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D. simply defines negative self-talk as a series of bad habits which usually perpetuates avoidance.
Negative Self –Talk Defined
1. The Worried Advisor whose “voice” promotes anxiety & fear
2. The Critical Advisor whose “voice” promotes low self-esteem
3. The Victimized Advisor whose “voice” promotes helplessness, hopelessness & depression
4. The Perfectionist Advisor whose “voice” promotes stress & burnout
The 4 Common Types of Negative Self-Talk
What Inner “voice” are you listening too?
What is that “voice” costing you emotionally?
How is that “voice” affecting your business?
What Is It That You Are Listening Too?
1. Awareness
2. Change Negative Belief Systems
3. The Power of Positive Thoughts
4. Reality of Conflicting Belief Systems
5. Use of Relief Questions
6. Use of Positive Counterstatements & Reinforcement
How To Conquer Negative Self-Talk
Conquering Negative Self-Talk
Awareness
Conditioned Thinking
Positive or Negative
Is this type of thinking good for my business??
Conquering Negative Self-Talk
Changing Negative Belief Systems
People Gravitate Towards their Stronger Belief System regardless of whether it is positive or negative in nature
Definition of Belief Systems
Changing or Replacing a Belief System
Conquering Negative Self-Talk
The Power of Positive Beliefs
Our thoughts have a direct influence on the outcomes in our life.
Conquering Negative Self-Talk
The Reality of Conflicting Belief Systems
It is the level of certainty that one has about a specific belief system which will dictate the amount of action or non-action
one has which reinforces the belief.
Conquering Negative Self-Talk
Use of Relief Questions & Statements
Weaken the power of negative belief systems using Socratic questions
If you were a tire and your anxiety was the air inside the tire than the relief statement is the valve in which you can push to release the anxiety inside of you.
Conquering Negative Self-Talk
Use of Positive Counterstatements
You must feel more strongly about your positive counterstatement than you do your previous negative belief
system for your self-talk to change
Typically, positive counterstatements are a longer “dialogue”; negative self-talk could be one sentence but a positive counterstatement a paragraph in length (examples ahead)
The Worried Advisor
“What if I lose everything trying to build my business?”
The Relief Question:
What is the evidence that I will lose everything?”
The Positive Counterstatement:
“A bad month or a bad quarter while financially uncomfortable is not the end of my financial security. I am on salary for another year, I have equity in my home and I am consistently
adding new assets, new accounts and new gross commissions to my business everyday. I have never lost everything before and will work smart to never be in that type of financial
situation.”
Examples of Conquering Negative Self-Talk
The Critical Advisor
“I will not close this account because they always need to think about
it. They never want to move their money to me.”
The Relief Question:
“Is this always true?” “Have I ever closed an account before with any prospect?”
The Positive Counterstatement:
“Closing an account is merely a function of getting ready for any and all objections that may possibly come up. I can use an objection resolutions model to address any objection that
a prospect has. Other advisors prepare for meetings, and I can too. Once I learn the process it will get easier and easier as I apply it.”
Examples of Conquering Negative Self-Talk
The Victimized Advisor
“I can’t make it in this business. I can’t cold call because cold calling
does not work in this environment any more.”
The Relief Questions:
“Is this absolutely true? Is cold calling working for anyone anywhere
in the country? If so, who in my firm would know of someone who is successfully building their business cold calling?”
The Positive Counterstatement:
“Cold calling is a learned skill that anyone can master! All I have to do is find a successful advisor in my firm who is consistently setting up appointments, and opening up accounts by
cold calling and learn their process. Then, I can practice it and perfect my cold calling
skills!”
Examples of Conquering Negative Self-Talk
The Perfectionist Advisor
“I have to hit my gross goals this month!”
The Relief Questions:
“What is the worst thing that could possibly happen if I don’t hit my
gross goals for this month? Is that so bad?”
The Positive Counterstatement:
“Hitting my monthly gross goal is just a function of having a
consistently filled pipeline. I can prospect daily and build a great
pipeline. This is not life threatening!”
Examples of Conquering Negative Self-Talk
Analyze Your Emotional Roller Coaster
Rate Yourself (1-4) Using the Four Most Common Types of Negative Self-Talk
Write Down Relief Questions & Positive Counterstatements
Use Them & Repeat Often to Replace Conflicting Belief Systems
Action Steps to Managing Your Inner Advisor
"Stop thinking trouble if you want to attract its opposite; stop thinking poverty if you wishto attract plenty. Refuse to have anything to do with the things you fear, thethings you do not want." Instead you must think rightly about those things
you want to attract.”
Orison Swett MardenAuthor of How to Get What You Want
Opening Up Discussion for Questions
