dating and marriage teen living. starting out improve your interpersonal skills making conversation...
TRANSCRIPT
Dating and Marriage
Teen Living
Starting Out
Improve your interpersonal skillsMaking conversationUnderstand yourself
• Discover characteristics you want • Know your values
Family RulesCurfewWhere and with whom you can go
Going out as a Group
Movies Football game Sports activities Other group date activities?
Going out as a couple
Practice relating one-on-one Does not need to mean you cannot date
others, too Exclusive dating
Get to know one person well Security
• Don’t let concern about not having boy/girlfriend keep you with someone just because they are familiar
• If you find things you don’t like about that person, don’t look to change them, look for someone that suits you better
Family Rules
Only group dating No exclusive (steady) dating
Can lose sight of long-term goals Cultural or religious beliefs influence Where you can go
Concerns about • Drugs• Alcohol• Unsafe driving• Peer pressure
Responsible Relationships
Personal ResponsibilityStay true to your personal values
• You, your family, culture, religion, long-term and short-term goals determine what those are
Respect the personal values of the one you are dating
• Communication• Who pays, where you go, how to get there and back
• Deference to their rules• Their curfew is your responsibility, too
Risks of Sexual Activity
Unintended pregnancy STD’s Do not let you feelings control your actions Think ahead, remember long-term goals
collegeGood jobTravelEnjoying life as a young adult, unencumbered
Abstinence
Refuse to engage in high-risk behavior Reinforce your decision
• Join abstinence campaign Some teens more willing to act on most intimate level,
but won’t talk about it because it is too embarrassing! Willingness to communicate is high level of maturity Group and public dating can help
REMAIN IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND BECOME THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BE
Resisting Sexual Pressure
Keep a firm sense of who you areState your position
• Do not apologize or try to justifyAvoid mixed messages
• Body language must match wordsKeep your values and long-term goals in mindRespect yourself. If someone won’t accept no,
leave. Call for a ride if you need to. This person does not and will not respect you or your personal boundaries!
Handling Emotions
Crushes and InfatuationUsually idealistic and unrealistic
JealousyIntense, prolonged jealousy is
destructive to a relationshipSign of insecurity
Breaking up
Most teen relationships end Can be painful
• Make a clean break• Explain why • Be firm but fair• Be sensitive to the other person’s feelings~ you may have been
thinking about this for a while, but it could be a surprise to the other person involved
Don’t try to hang on to someone that wants to break up with you• Clinging to a partner that doesn’t want to remain in the relationship is
unhealthy Avoid saying hateful or negative things about the other person no
matter which of you ended the relationship Give yourself time to recover Reflect on why that relationship ended and what qualities you will
look for the next time
Love and Commitment
How do you know it is love?Based on caring and trustGiving as well as receivingMutual interestsDesire to work together toward
common goals Takes time to get to know another
person
Engagement
Lots of decisions to be made Where to live? What will your daily life together be like? Household tasks and finances? Continue education? Careers? Children?
• How to raise them
Religion Family holidays
Marriage
Many people spend more time planning the wedding than they do thinking about the marriage and the compromises they will need to make.
Marriage Laws Every state has its own laws governing marriage
Property rights Protection for the children Legalize couple’s agreement
• Mutual consent: both parties must agree• Monogamy: one spouse at a time • Age: 18 (younger with parental consent) See list from desktop• Physical requirements: blood test (no communicable diseases)• Waiting period: 1 to 5 days (may be before or after issued)• License: all states require • Officials: clergy, civil authorities (judges, justice of peace, notary)• Prohibitions: close blood relatives, brother or sister, aunt and nephew,
uncle and niece, 1st or 2nd cousins depending on the state• Annulment: if legal requirements were not met it as if marriage never
happened
Strong Marriage
CommunicationDiscuss issuesMake decisions togetherShare responsibilitiesResolve conflictsCommitted to make marriage work
Why Marriages Fail
People who don’t take the commitment seriously
Unrealistic expectations People change or no longer have
same value system Money Get married before they are ready for
the responsibilities
Teen Marriage
Marriage challenge for adults Pressure increased with teen
pregnancy Delaying marriage
EducationCareerTime to know yourself
Remaining Single
Independence Freedom Focus on:
CareerTravelCommunity service
Marriage is a choice, not an obligation
What are you looking for?
List from most to least important characteristics you are looking for in a girl/boy friend. Minimum of 10
List from greatest to least characteristics you have to offer. Minimum of 10
What would be the most challenging thing about you with which some one would need to deal.
Qualities
Communication skills Shared values Mutual respect Common interests Agreement on issues regarding children Conflict resolution skills More…