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GET YOUR EVENT LISTED:e-mail: HELLO@

DEEP-LONDON.CO.UKwhat’s on listings are

absolutely FREE!

Last date forinclusion in

March issue - 25th Feb 2012

Hello there.....and welcome to issue 96. Hey, how are you doing? Haven’t

seen you since last year. You’re looking well. Hope you goteverything you wanted for Christmas and you’ve kept whateverresolutions you made. We’re fine, thanks for asking, it’s good tobe back, Happy New Year and all that, although we’re not surewhen the cut-off date for saying that is..? Presumably it’s the firsttime you see someone in the new year, in which case - HappyNew Year!

This month we’re generally ignoring the ‘big’ event -Valentine’s Day - because we know how annoying it is if you’reunattached, while those who are attached are invariably doing‘other things’ and being unbearably smug about it. So yes, we’renot doing the love thing per se, but what we have done, becausewe love you, our readers and you, our contributors, is hand mostof the mag over to the latter. (Don’t forget, budding writers, wedo welcome contributions from you lovely lot, just e-mail us ifyou’ve got something up your sleeve. or down your trouser leg, orwherever...)

Elsewhere, it seems it’s taking a while for everyone to get goingagain this year (not least us), what with everyone being skint andit being bleedin’ taters! outside, but looking ahead, blimey 2012 isa busy year, and we’re quite looking forward to it. Generalconsensus seems to be it can’t be as bad as last year, so let’s hope.We’ve got some brilliant things lined up for future months,including our nascent hatched plan for the Olympics, along thelines of Croydopoly but on a massive scale. We’re currently ironingout some logistics and working out how to translate slalomcanoeing into the equation, but we’re quite excited about it, andof course we’ll keep you posted. It’s going to be a good one, wereckon!

Righto, I think that’s about it from me for this month - I’mslowly getting back into the groove of writing these things, but I’mnot quite there yet, and thus can’t think of anything else that Ineed to impart to you, and I have the theme tune to Channel 5kid’s programme ‘Hana’s Helpline’ stuck in my head (‘If you’re abat who needs a chat, call moo, baa, double quack doublequack’), so I’ll just say: we hope you enjoy this issue, enjoy the 6

Nations if you’re soinclined, have a lovelyValentine’s Day,whatever you’re doing,have a fantastic NationalChip Week and we’ll seeyou next month. Avanti, allons-y, cheers!With love hearts on.Angela xxx

Contact Us:editor: angela ferraratel: 07910 506197 (24 houranswerphone)e: angela@deep-london.co.uk

staff and contributors: auntie may, petal dunwoody, thomasdennett-cook, evelina beckers, darkzac,stephanie darkes, grant @ theglamorgan,

advertising sales:call angela on 07910 506197 (24 houranswerphone) or e-mail angela@deep-london.co.uk

publishing & design: deep-london

Happy Birthday: Marie, Lav, Andy, Bob,Thomas, Harry, Barry, Graham, Jo,Davina, Kamilla, Dave Joe, Zoe, WendyPatrick, Catharine, Tony

R.I.P: Vaclav Havel, Bob Anderson,Ronald Searle, Eve Arnold, Bob Holness,Bob Weston, Jimmy Castor, Etta James,Angelo Dundee

Happy Retirement: Denman - neigh!

deep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com •www.facebook.com/deeplondon • twitter @deep_london

February 2012Issue Ninety Six

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Your Bonsai Editor - Still waiting...

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LISTINGS:

THIS MONTH’SFEATURES:

What’s On Guide 21

This Month’s Sport 35

Twenty Twelve 4

Festive Tease Rooms 6

Food For Thought 8

Auntie May 10

Croydon’s Finest 12

Kirsty MacColl 20

News-Hound 14

Around TheTwitter-verse 16

Films - Reviews fromthe Outer Rim 18

Month in Pictures 36

FEBRUARY 2012

COMPETITIONS:

Where’s Groove? - findGroove in Croydon and winsomething possibly half-decent! Details - Page 2

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The Olympics. They’re coming,whether we like it or not, butamidst the anticipation of traffic

and travel chaos, security issues and araft of increasingly po-faced advertstelling us we can all be ‘heroes’ (byeating a Snickers? Oh.. kay...) a chink oflight exists, somewhat surprisingly beingshown on the BBC, ‘the OlympicBroadcaster’ which shines a light on thekind of ineptitude that we all secretly, ormaybe not so secretly, suspect is actuallythe case in the real Olympic deliveryoffices.

Twenty Twelve, first shown back inMarch 2011 (currently being repeatedon BBC4 Wednesdays and on i-player) isan award-winning mockumentarywritten by John Morton (People Like Us)which follows the Olympic DeliveranceTeam in the lead up to the Olympics andwhich stars a who’s who of British actingand comedy talent (and a few friends ofthe mag). The main ensemble of sixincludes Hugh Bonneville, Jessica HynesAmelia Bulmore, Olivia Colman andVincent Franklin, with a raft of guestappearances including Nina Sosanya,Tim McInnery, Nitin Ganatra (Masoodfrom Eastenders) Darren Boyd and evenSebastian Coe, as himself, all narrated byDavid Tennant.

From issues with stag beetles, piles ofdung from disgruntled anti GreenwichPark equestrian protesters, boringsportsmen, traffic-light phasing, windturbines with no wind, roman remains inthe diving pool and other cock-ups, thefirst series was brilliant, as far as we’reconcerned. A slow burner, maybe, itdoesn’t have the savagery of ‘The Thickof It’, but it doesn’t have to. As theObserver TV critic noted;

“Every episode here is a subtle gem,getting way too close for comfort on theexcruciations of political correctness, ourmodern failure to organise a cup of teawithout a flowchart and the impossibilityof getting athletes to say anythinginteresting, ever.”

The joy is that the Olympics haven’thappened yet, no-one really knowswhat’s going on behind the scenes orindeed if they know what the hellthey’re doing and there’s quite a sweetsub-plot involving Ian Fletcher, head ofdeliverance (Bonneville) and his secretarywho’s clearly in love with him. Theperformances are excellent, the writing issharp and although it seems relatively

gentle, it alsoseems entirelyplausible that theactual Olympicteam are runningabout as cluelessas the characters.As VincentFranklin, whoplays Nick ‘Icannot allow it’Jowett - head ofcontracts, puts it;

“I don’tparallel whoever itis who has the miserable job of lookingafter contracts on the Olympics. I thinkwhat we do reflect is that sense ofpeople who’ve not done this before,who’ve done similar things, but this iskind of bigger than anything they’veever done, so it’s like, you know, you’verun a really good dinner party andpeople say ‘that’’s brilliant you’ve donethat, now we’re going to get you to goand run the restaurant at The Savoy’and you’re not necessarily up to it.“

All the actors seem to have agenuine affection for their characters,and to have had a rare old time makingthe series. Hugh Bonneville says of hischaracter;

“He’s a classic example of a managerwho’s trying to do his best to appearcalm while paddling like hell. Eventhough it looks very improvised andrather, sort of, messy, every dot dot dotand dash is marked in, and everyrepeated word is scripted, so it has thisfaux naturalism which I absolutely love.

“None of the characters are fools butthey are eccentric in their own way, andI think it’s the dynamic of the six maincharacters and the way they interact thatleads to a lot of the comedy.

“We’ve only taken four and a halfweeks to shoot it, but we’ve all slippedinto character all too easily, and we’vehad an awful lot of fun making it. Justtrying to keep a straight face is thehardest thing when you’ve got very verygood comic actors on either side ofyou.”

Friend of the mag Jessica Hynes givesa cringingly realistic portrayal of abullshitting PR / ‘creative’ type (‘Head ofBrand’ Siobhan Sharpe):

“She’s quite powerful, she’s got herown business, she’s one of those peoplewho likes to always be one step ahead,

so she kind of pretends she knows whatyou’re talking about even when shedoesn’t, and that’s generally what shedoes. It’s all scripted, there’s not muchimprovisation, and what we’ve found isthat some of the scenes, because they’revery very tightly woven, in terms ofdialogue, is that they can be tricky tonail. There’s lots of very naturalistic,written language, so as a team we’vefound we’ve had to work very closely,very supportively with each other to getthe scenes right. That, I think, gave us areal sense of camaraderie on set. I hopeI’m right in saying that was the case - Icertainly felt it. I mean they could all besaying ‘oh, nightmare, she’s a nightmare’but I certainly felt we got on really reallywell and we’re very much a goodteam!”

In the second series - due to bebroadcast in February/March 2012 - thepressure mounts as the OlympicDeliverance team try to navigate theirway through such delicate issues as howto handle the Algerian team's demandfor a mosque in the Olympic village,how to carry out a Legacy Audit on therival bids for the Stadium when no oneknows what a Legacy Audit is, andbudgetary concerns such as how todeliver value for money when there isn'tany money. Ian Fletcher reacted to thenews thusly;

“Obviously I think damage hasalready been done to the smooth-running of our department by allowingthe BBC cameras in. Personally, I don'twant it to continue. But upstairs says it'sgoing to. So that's all good...”

Twenty Twelve Series Two - Feb/Mar2012 on BBC4. Series One out now onBBC DVD. The full interviews used onthis page can be found atwww.bbc.co.uk

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Yes that’s right for four years nowthe Black Sheep Bar has beenrunning a burlesque

extravaganza named the tease rooms,and December saw its festiveincarnation. Organised by Sharon Turner,these nights are a mix of old timeburlesque, music hall charm and a punchof modern pizzazz. The Tease Roomsbring South Croydon alive with regularperformances from some of the bestnames in the business along with heapsof special guests coming together toprovide a night you will remember.

Always a favourite for me aftercovering this event for the last two yearsis the wonderful Mr Meredith with hisown style of witty sass. A real showstealer, he whips up the crowd into atangle of expectation of what’s to come,with a rollercoaster ride of puns andcontemporary takes on modern themes,he always brings the house down, andto see an artist of his calibre in a smallclub in Croydon for peanuts is amazing.

Then there is the divine Ms Em whofills your boil with suga’ every time (Ihave no idea what that means - Ed),oozing sexy charm and regularlyengaging with the audience Ms Em isthat kinda naughty woman who ticklesyou just in the right spot then... Eats youALIVE!! When Ms Em sings she holdsthe audience in her hand, stroking themsoftly then injects a saucy blend of

British burlesque into their veins. Inshort, she will rock your socks off!

This year’s Christmas burlesque waspacked to the rafters - filled withexpectation the audience gathered,unaware of the festive feast to come.Glistening with rouge & tweed, thatcam-fur smell popping the air, (alwaysreminding me of a 50’s noir) and withfresh cupcakes and candle-lit tables thescene was set. One gentleman stood outwith his Crombie Panama hat and spats,looking the part, a reference to the pastthat is never wasted. As well as MrMeredith and Ms Em, the bill featuredOctober Rush, Miss Bruised Violet,Electra, Gin Atomic, Dark Teaser, DaveThe Were-Bear with DJ Makkam playingRock n Roll & Tony X playing classicrock. Miss Brusie wowed the audiencewith her swirling hypnotic twists andposes, always displaying the mostwonderful outfits, Dave the Were-Bearcaptivated us all when he sang, sobeautiful, we collectively sighed andswooned. The acts just kept comingwoven together by the divine Ms Em,who twice that evening enlisted aneager young gentleman from theaudience to help her entertain. Toextract joy and laughter in such a wayfrom an audience is truly a gift; theTease Room is a diamond, a taste ofCroydon nightlife to enjoy.

DarkZac returnswith somefestive fetish. . .

words: darkzac; pix: inphotopia.com

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Regular readers will no doubt beaware that we sometimes fling afew recipes into the Deep mix,

usually tying in with events that month,and this month is no different. Except itis. The Deep Towers massive can cook,don’t get me wrong, but we thoughtthat, given there are so many excellentchefs in town, it’d be an interesting ideato ask a few of them to give you lovelyreaders some of their favourite recipes.And then we thought, why not tell youthe best place to buy the main, if not allof, the ingredients, thusly highlightingthe pointlessness of going to any of thetwenty million or so supermarkets thatare popping up in every empty buildingin town and the economic value ofgoing down the market. Because, as youknow, we’re great advocates of theplace and believe sincerely that it’s oneof Croydon’s best (and definitely one ofits most unique) features which, If wedon’t use it, we risk losing it, I’m afraid...

But enough doom and gloom. Nowyou’ve got the idea, to coincide withBramley Apple Week (and with Mother’sDay just around the corner) this month,here’s Grant’s recipe, ideal for a fantasticSunday lunch with friends and family.Enjoy!

Roasted Pork Belly in Cider

You will need:• 1 x Whole Pork Belly (2kg)• 1 1/2 pints of Cider (preferably sweet- e.g. Bulmers)• Whole Clovesª Salt and Pepper

Method:1) Rub the pork belly skin with salt,leave to stand for 30 minutes (thisreduces the amount of water in thepork)2) Wipe the salt off3) Score the skin in diamond shapes (i.escore parallel lines going one way, thenthe other way)4) Stick cloves into the skin at regularintervals.

5) Put the pork belly into a deeproasting dish. Pour the cider on andaround. Cover with foil.6) Cook at 170ºC / 340ºF / Gas 3.5 foraround 3 and a half hours.7) Remove pork from the cider andplace on a draining / drip tray.8) Remove all bones while hot (turn thebelly over and pull out the bones, theyshould come out quite easily)9) Let the pork belly cool, and cut intoportion sized pieces.10) To serve, re-heat the pork belly inthe oven for 10 minutes, then placeunder the grill to crisp up the skin.11) Serve with roast or steamedvegetables of your choice and a BramleyApple Chutney or sweet chutney.

Pork Belly Price Comparison:(all prices correct at time of going toprint)Sainsburys: £6.49 per kiloTesco: £5.49 per kiloWaitrose: £5.29 per kiloAsda: £4.50 per kiloTerry’s (ex Murray’s) Meat Market, Surrey Street: £4.49 for one kilo - lessper kilo for 2 kilos

So there you have it, market is best,and if you factor in freshness andabsence of packaging, it’s a bit of a no-brainer really, isn’t it?

Hopefully you lovely readers willappreciate what we’re trying to do withthis strand, we’re not having a go, justpointing things out. Huge thanks toGrant for giving us his recipe. If youhaven’t been yet, visit the Glamorgan(Cherry Orchard Road, East Croydon) forall fresh quality food, South Africancuisine and a general all round niceatmos. In fact, some of the best food intown, in our opinion. See you at the bar!

A new semi-regular strand in which we ask local culinary luminaries toprovide recipes for you to cook at home. This month, chef and co-owner Grant at The Glamorgan’s delicious pork belly recipe. . .

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Hello and welcome back mylovelies. Hopefully you’re allrejuvenated after your Christmas

break and glowing with pride thatyou’ve managed to keep your New YearResolutions for over a month. I know Iam. Mind you, I make a point of cleverlydeciding on resolutions which are fairlyeasy to keep: eat tartare sauce witheverything, refuse to listen to hip-hop organgsta rap and remember that wearingsensible shoes does not make you alesbian.

I’ve been out and about in London alot recently, propping up (or beingpropped up by) the barrier and addingto my not inconsiderable collection oftour t-shirts. I saw the rather fabulousVoodoo Six at the Borderline – it wastheir bass player Tony’s birthday (did this

explain the glittery things all over thefloor?) and it seemed churlish not tospend it with him. The Borderline is agreat venue, except for the fact thatcoming down the stairs takes you rightto the front of the stage so it’s majorlycrowded down the front! Still, I stuck itout and it was well worth it, not somuch for the close up views of baldingmiddle aged men practically ejaculatingover Matt’s guitar solos, but for theexperience of almost being on stagewith the band - and consequently losingmy hearing in one ear for a week.

Once my hearing had returned, I wasoff to see the legendary Whitesnake at

the Forum. The last time I tried to seethem I ended up right at the back,following an unfortunate incident with aVauxhall Astra and a man from theTerritorial Army, so I wisely went undermy own steam this time and got rightdown the front. My distant view of Mr.Coverdale last time had not prepared mefor such a close-up inspection and I haveto say his resemblance to a pantomimedame was a little unnerving. This illusionwas compounded when a confusedlooking Father Christmas bumbled ontothe stage at one point and chuckedsome gifts out to the crowd (sadly I wasnot a lucky recipient). Whitesnake overthe years have not changed their modusoperandi at all. The show was regularlypunctuated with tedious solos includinga drum solo which went on Forevermore

(excuse the wordplay), while wewatched their drummer prove he couldindeed play the drums (he is a drummerafter all) not only with drumsticks, butwith kitchen knives, chopsticks and, well,his hands. The guitar solos weredefinitely more entertaining (particularlyReb Beach (ex-Winger)’s sex-faceposing) but the crowd clearly wantedthem to get down to playing some oftheir old stuff rather than prat aboutproving that they could play theirinstruments. When they did eventuallyget round to playing a song or two, theykept stopping in the middle so Davidcould have a little chat with the crowd

but eventually we got the whole of Stillof the Night which made it allworthwhile for me at any rate.

And then there was Chickenfoot.Now I know it’s only February but fuckme, that had to be gig of the year(although there’s Rammstein comingup…). Despite that fact that the boiler inthe Brixton Academy had clearly packedup and didn’t there used to be stars onthe ceiling when you looked up? the gigjust couldn’t have been better. SammyHagar’s voice was amazing - particularlythe echoing scream at the end of Downthe Drain, and Joe Satriani proved whata guitar-god he is. There was no messingabout, they just pumped out blinding,quality rock for two hours and lefteverybody wanting more.

All this hob-nobbing with ageingrockstars (not including Voodoo Six inthis generalisation obviously) hasprompted the question of how so manyof these rock dinosaurs have managednot to go bald. Here’s s list I compiled inabout 10 minutes – there’s probablyloads more: Sammy Hagar, Biff Byford(Saxon), David Coverdale, Jon Bon Jovi,Ozzy, Tom Araya (Slayer), DaveMustaine (and the rest of Megadethactually), Kirk Hammet, Lemmy, all ofIron Maiden, Geddy Lee, Tony Iommi,Tom Keifer (Cinderella), Alice Cooper,Mick Jagger, Ronnie Wood, Brian May,Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, Robert Plant,Roger Daltrey, Vinny Appice, Eddie VanHalen, Glenn Hughes, Joe Elliott, thebeautiful Nikki Sixx (and the rest of theCrüe), Axl, Slash and Duff, BrettMichaels, Gene Simmons, and look atDr. Brian Cox, he was in a couple ofbands. Even though about 50% of mensuffer significant male-pattern baldnessby the age of 50 (and all of this lot arearound 50 or older), somehow theyseem to have kept their hair – unlessthey’ve all had hair implants or wearsyrups. And they say a life of drugs andalcohol is bad for you. Ah well, justanother of life’s mysteries I suppose.

See you next month - in themeantime, stay warm, upright & happy.

Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton AuntieMay ponders the hirsute. . .

“Close-up, David Coverdale’s resemblance to apantomime dame was a little unnerving. . .”

David Coverdale holds his own... Sammy Hagar

pix: Dark A

ngel Photography

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In honour of World CancerDay and in anticipation of

next month’s ‘Robstock’event in aid of the Royal

Marsden Cancer Charity, ouroccasional series shining a

light on Croydon’s heroes pays tribute to Professor Humphrey Edward Melville Kay,polymath and pioneer in the treatment of leukaemia

When Professor Kay enteredthe field of oncology in the1950s there was no

effective treatment for any form ofleukaemia, but thanks to the workhe pioneered and steered, by themid-1980s most children withleukaemia, and a growing number ofyoung adults, were being cured.

During his time at the RoyalMarsden Hospital in London, hisapproach to his work was acombination of the practical and theintellectual. In 1963 he and hiscolleagues set about planning andbuilding a ground-breaking newward for the protective isolation ofimmune-suppressed patients with

Kay as the administrator. Sosuccessful was this ward that theydesigned and built another, larger,one named the Bud Flanagan ward.It was equipped for the intensivetreatment of acute leukaemia anddesigned to facilitate bone-marrowtransplants. The ward was opened in1973 and the first successful UKbone-marrow transplant was thenperformed.

While the wards were being setup, Kay was appointed as Secretaryto the leukaemia trials of the MedicalResearch Council. Using hisdiplomatic flair, his extraordinarypresentation skills and his charm, hemanaged to bring together

leukaemia specialists from Britain,France and the United States so theycould collaborate in the research andtreatment of this relatively raredisease. His efforts led to theestablishment of the firstinternational protocols on thetreatment of leukaemia. Kayrecognised the importance ofunderstanding the biology ofleukaemia, actively encouraging andtaking part in pioneering researchinto the immunological andchromosomal characteristics ofleukaemia cells. These characteristicsnow play a crucial role in diagnosis,prognosis and treatment.

Humphrey Edward Melville Kaywas born in Croydon, Surrey in1923. At three months old hismother, a missionary doctor, tookhim back to the family home inIndia, where his father was anAnglican minister.

At their homecoming to Lahorehis elder sister Fran, who was four atthe time, recalled a brass bandplaying in honour of the arrival ofher baby brother – a son to theMemsahib who, up until then, hadonly two daughters.

He remained in India for the firstfour years of his life until the familyreturned to Britain. Back in England,he attended the Downs prep schoolin Colwall, Worcestershire, where hewas taught English by W.H. Auden.During his time there, the poetcomposed many songs for the schoolconcerts – some of which, inretrospect, Kay and hiscontemporaries realised, hadcontained some amusing, ifinappropriate, double-entendres.

An old boy of Bryanston, herecalled that in 1941 he and hisgood friend Michael Flindt hadcycled from their school in Dorset toSouthampton to take their

Kay described his time in the RAF as “a happy,peaceful place, where one learned to avoidamoebic dysentery... and to admire the stars withlimited music on 78s with a wind up player”

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preliminary medical exams. The nightbefore this exam, one of the heaviestwartime air raids hit the city. As thebombs fell, the students hid in adownstairs room and, even though anearby ceiling collapsed, they wereunscathed. With neither gas norelectricity, they worked out that theirpractical exams the following daywould be limited; both he and Flindtpassed.

Kay's medical career began at StThomas's hospital in London, wherehe qualified in 1945. By 1947 he hadjoined the RAF and was transferredto Aden. He recalls that it was "ahappy, peaceful place, where onelearned to avoid amoebic dysentery;to play tennis through the hotseason; to ride a camel; and toadmire the starry skies with a limitedrange of classical music on 78s witha wind-up player."

After returning to Britain, Dr Kayworked for six years in differentbranches of pathology (indeed 16years later, he became the editor ofthe Journal of Clinical Pathology),and then in 1956 he embarked onhis career at the Royal MarsdenHospital as a consultant clinical

pathologist. The vacancy at theMarsden, a destination he had nevercontemplated, coincided with hisdaughter going to school almostnext door, so this made up his mind.He thought he might stay for a yearor two but ended up dedicating 28years of his life to the hospital,retiring as Professor of Haematologyin 1984.

On retirement from medicine, heeffectively began a second career asa naturalist, drawing on hischildhood love of wildlife and theenvironment. He was soon nationallyrenowned in this field, too. Hiscolleagues recall that, even thoughhe came to it late, he was a bornnaturalist with a sharp intellect,enquiring mind and keen eye and acommitted enthusiasm for wildlife.He was a member of the WiltshireWildlife Trust and was elected to itsCouncil in 1983. One of the Trust'smost valuable fund-raising activitiesarose from his idea of a sponsoredwalk each May Day bank holidayfrom Avebury to Stonehenge

He was a familiar figure inWiltshire in his floppy hats, or formore formal occasions a flamboyant

bow tie. His speciality wasentomology, but he took an interestin most conservation issues, andcontributed to the badger andbovine TB issues through articles,correspondence and national debate– his views not always welcomed bygovernment or by otherconservationists. In 1996 he wasawarded the Christopher CadburyMedal by the national body of theWildlife Trusts for his contribution toconservation.

Kay was a true polymath, ascomfortable with the arts as he waswith science, and passionate aboutopera, ballet and music. He was alsoan accomplished musician and poet.He published a volume of humorousand reflective verse, PoemsPolymorphic. One of these, "TheHaematologist's Song", had a refrainof "Blood, blood, glorious blood..."set to The Hippopotamus tune ofFlanders and Swann. He would singit with great aplomb to delegates atnational and internationalhaematology meetings.

Professor Kay died inMarlborough, Wiltshire on the 20thOctober 2009 aged 86.

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It’s been a while since we brought youa news round-up, but there’s beenquite a lot going on since we’ve been

away on our Xmas break, and we startwith the opening of a new night-spot.Bad Apple opened in early February onthe site of the old Pop World club,opposite the Odd Shoe, and all thepicture on this page is from the openingnight. As you can see it’s pretty plushinside (the three lovely ladies are theburlesque dancers who were circulatingon opening night).

Owned by the same people who ownthe Black Sheep Bar, the remit is as a sortof ‘older Sheep’, catering for those of uswho feel like we should be issued with apension book and zimmer frame as soonas we enter the Sheep proper. Accordingto the website (www.badapple.co) “BadApple is a whole new pub experiencefor the discerning drinker. A late nightpub where you can step onto the dancefloor to listen to great music fromcredible DJs and boogie on until theearly hours

“We shall be keeping at our COREthe belief in quality service from friendlyattentive staff in a venue decadentlydesigned with a pub like feel. Bringingsomething fresh to the heart of Croydonwhile keeping you in safe hands.”

The DJs in question include thewonderful Soap Co, ex Manumissionregular Schminky and old favouriteLinton. It’s of course difficult to tell fromone night, and as Paul explained, it’sabout 80% there, with a few more bits

and pieces to come, but it looks lovely,they sell Macallan whisky behind the bar(along with a host of other drinks, butMacallan is our favourite, so there) theprices seem reasonable and we can see itbecoming a welcome addition to theCroydon pub pantheon. A full reviewwill follow in a couple of months whenthey’ve had time to bed in.

Elsewhere in Croydon, a chance popin to The Windmill in St James’ Roadreveals that the pub has been taken overby a delightful Indian couple who arewell underway in providing authenticIndian cuisine alongside the usual pub-grub in the pub. We’ve tried the foodand by God it’s good! For the puristsegg and chips and Sunday Roasts arestill available, but we’d recommendgiving the Indian food a go (It is quitespicy!). As an added bonus, for us atleast, the Windmill also still shows thehorse racing every day too. Full reviewnext month...

Rumours abound at present (mainlythanks to the Croydon Scaremonger, Imean Advertiser) that the empty Swanand Sugarloaf is to be turned into aTesco Express, which is just the worstidea ever. The insidious taking over ofCroydon by various supermarkets is, tobe fair, really pissing us off (hence therecipe page price comparison - don’t bebloody sheep people, just becausethere’s ANOTHER Tesco in front of youit doesn’t mean you have to go in there,there’s a bleedin’ fresh food marketround the corner!). The clerk of The

Whitgift Foundation, who own the sitehas stated

“Tesco is one of the interested partiesbut there are other people interestedand it is nowhere near a done deal”, anda local application to get the buildingnationally listed may kaibosh anyimmediate plans, but please, Whitgift(and indeed the Council, who seem todo little else) stop chasing the almightydollar and think, will you? For balance,views have been expressed that it’sbetter to have something there ratherthan an empty building, but in ourexperience, a pub that’s changed intosomething else NEVER becomes a pubagain. We reckon a nice pub/restaurantcatering to the grey pound thatsurrounds the building in the variousnursing homes and shelteredaccommodation would make a mint, butwhat do we know, we’ve only beenunder the skin of this town for the last 8years...

Anyway, there’s a facebook groupbeen set up - search “Stop Tesco takingover the Swan and Sugar Loaf!!”although it doesn’t actually offer anyalternative plans. Still, it is only new. Atpresent there are no planningapplications regarding the building, butwe’ll keep our eye on that one.

Bit of a downer to end on, but that’sthe news, please return to whatever youwere doing...

More news next month, possibly...

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Welcome to the firstinstallment of my brand newmonthly Twitter update

where I highlight some of the trends,great tweets and faux pas by themovers and shakers in Twitter world. Ireport on what’s happening with theCroydon Twitterati & give you sometips to help you get to grips withTwitter.

Things that caught my eye on Twitterin January:

Gary Glitter appeared on Twitter.You would be forgiven for thinkingthat Gary Glitter would stay well awayfrom the internet so when his ‘officialaccount’ (Twitter.com/OfficialGlitter)popped up, the Tweetsphere wasshaken. Critics claimed from the start

that it must be a fake and the accountwas never verified, but people stillappeared to take it very seriously,issuing death threats and hurlingabuse. Later a man known only as Benadmitted that he had set up theaccount;

"I set this twitter account up as asocial experiment to highlight thedangers and safety of children usingthe social networking sites and todiscover and question public morality.It's been an interesting and eye-opening experience for me."

Glitter wasn’t the only person to beimpersonated, the real RupertMurdoch set up a Twitter account onNew Year’s Eve and Twitterati chuckedabuse at him (a bit like Axl Rose’saudience hurling bottles at him inDublin on the Guns n Roses come-back tour in 2010). This prompted hisalleged ‘Missus’ Wendy Deng tocreate an account to defend herhusband. Twitter mistakenly verifiedthis account as real, but it wasn’t longbefore the person behind it cameclean, again remaining anonymouss/he tweeted this;

"Hello Twitter. As NewsInternational has finally come to their

senses, it's time to confirm that yes,this is a fake account. I'm not Wendi,"(@Wendi_Murdoch)

Twunce of the month goes to:Labour MP Diane Abbott who got

herself in trouble and was ordered byEd Milliband to apologise after makingallegedly racist remarks during aconversation on Twitter about StephenLawrence's murderers. Ms Abbotttweeted "White people love playing'divide & rule'. We should not playtheir game." This resulted in a furore;Diane Abbot issued this statement inthe aftermath: "I understand peoplehave interpreted my comments asmaking generalisations about whitepeople. I do not believe in doing that.I apologise for any offence

caused."She claimed she was takenout of context, but whether she wasor not, it’s a pretty stupid thing totweet! *remember kids: EVERYBODYcan see what you are tweeting!

New for #Croydon: There are a lot of people singing

the praises of Croydon on Twitter butthe Tweeter that has caught myattention this month is@CroydonTours. When the tours wereannounced on Twitter there were lotsof positive responses and not-so-positive responses like this one:‘@anna247 Why would ANYONEwilling want to go to Croydon?!!’Apart from Anna missing the ‘ly’ fromwillingly, with all the bad pressCroydon puts up with I’m sure shewouldn’t be the only person with thatopinion. But Croydon Tours claimCroydon is “Britain’s most interestingtown” and that the tours are“exploring its long, rich and oftenforgotten history.” We know thatCroydon is great and the guys behindthe tours are dedicated to getting thatmessage across. I’ll be taking theghost tour and I’ll be sure to tell you

all about it. To find out more or booka tour check outwww.croydontours.co.

Another one to look out for is@badapplecroydon a new venueopening in February. The nextCroydon tweet-up is taking placethere on 9th Feb, follow them formore info.

Hot twitter tips:For newbies: If you’re not on

Twitter yet, you really should be -follow these easy steps to start theconversation... Choose a handle -(@stephaniedarkes) Write your bio -give people a reason to follow you, beengaging and tell them somethingabout yourself Select a great photo-probably not a naked one because youwon’t last too long! For the moreexperienced Tweeter here’s a tooltwip: Check out TheTwitCleaner. It’s agreat tool for cleaning up yourTwitstream and getting rid ofspammers and bots! I love this app, ithighlights users who might be usingTwitter inappropriately, telling youwho’s spamming, whose behaviour is‘dodgy’, who are Bots and who areself-obsessed… It also tells you whereyou fit into the mix! Try it out foryourself at www.thetwitcleaner.com.

And that’s all folks! If you have anyquestions about Twitter or you wantsome tips, follow me -@stephaniedarkeswww.stephaniedarkes.co.uk

Steph returns next month...

www.thetwitcleaner.com

A new series from StephDarkes proving Deep is

indeed down with kids &technology and stuff...

@CroydonTours claim Croydon is “Britain’s mostinteresting town” and who are we to argue. . ?

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feb2012 7/2/12 2:58 pm Page 19

Happy New Year/Valentine’s Day etc! Well, this year looks to be a good one for cinema with some much anticipated releases finally coming to the big screen. But before we get carried away, let’s fill you in with what’s been going on.

Dream HouseA unique take on the traditional haunted house story. You really have to keep your eye on this one because there are several mysteries to solve, and just when you think the story is going one way, it splits in different directions. Will Atenton (Daniel Craig) moves with his wife (Rachel Weisz) and daughters into their new home. Upon discovering it was once a grisly murder scene, he investigates. What he discovers is ghosts and conspiracy the

likes of which will challenge his grasp on sanity. Both Craig and Weisz are great in their roles and the relationship they portray. Without spoiling the film I’m just going to say, there are twists. A few actually. That’s what keeps it interesting. Is Will crazy? Does he genuinely have a friendly relationship with ghosts? Exactly who killed whom?! Perhaps the only real flaw is that there are too many twists - it tries too hard to keep you guessing and escape generic formats, with some of the revelations being frankly pointless. But to be perfectly honest, there is only so much you can do with a haunted house story, and this film tries (if somewhat stumbles) to do something different.

New Year’s EveI wanted to enjoy this film, really I did! Mean Girls, Notting Hill, I love a good chick-flick but this American Love Actually follow-up to Valentine’s Day is just mind-boggling. Basically, several characters find that they have individual challenges to overcome before midnight that funnily enough all intermingle. New Years Eve’s creators should have focused on quality over quantity when putting together its various stories - there are way too many packed into this parade of do-gooders, of which a great many of the nonsensical ones could easily have been culled to give extra screen time to the more worthy ones. The rivalry between the two

couples racing to have their babies born first for example is genuinely funny and could have been a film all of its own, while other plots don’t really lead anywhere or just pop up out

of the blue. The odd coupling of a perky Zac Efron and a seemingly suicidal Michelle Pfeiffer being a point in case of being simply baffling. New Year’s Eve has a few good laughs and heart-warming moments, but fact is its way too chirpy for its own good - warm fuzzy sentimental pap that leaves a sickly sweet taste in your mouth.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of ShadowsIn the last couple of years it seems the world has gone Sherlock Holmes mad. There’s no denying it, the Victorian gent has made a come-back. Now personally I preferred the London-based mystery of the

first film, it seemed more fitting of a private investigator, whereas this film has Holmes as practically a superhero saving the world, with his powers of deduction cranked-up to the status of ‘spidey-senses’ and an excessive use of ‘look how awesome he is!’ slow-motion. But this is a sequel, and ticks all the boxes of what a sequel should be: bigger, more exciting and more dangerous. Holmes and Watson find themselves in their biggest case yet against Holmes’ most feared adversary and arch-nem-esis, the criminal mastermind Professor Moriarty. If they are not successful the fabrics of western civilisation will be torn apart in bloodshed. A Game of Shadows has enough elaborate thrills and action to keep you entertained and a plot worthy of a Sherlock / Moriarty showdown. The character of Moriarty, portrayed as a misleadingly calm sociopath, is excellently captured by Jarred Harris. Furthermore Jude Law truly steps out of Robert Downey Jr’s shadow for this film, emotionally developing Watson’s character beyond being merely Holmes’ sidekick.

Mission Impossible: Ghost ProtocolHere we are again with another impossible mission. Early in this film a message for Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) doesn’t self-destruct , and requires a good whack in order to work . Is this an omen of things to come? Well, no, because despite the fact the IMF team are in their worst position yet , things run smoothly. Perhaps too smoothly. Problem is, they’re just too good for their own good, making the film lack any real tension. After being framed for a terrorist attack Ethan Hunt and his team are on the run. To clear their names and with no government support , they must thwart a mad scientists attempt to instigate nuclear war. Tension or no tension, this film is a lot of fun, but there is some dodgy

casting - Paula Patton as the predictably seductive agent on Hunt’s team is simply bland and boring whilst Jeremy Renner as the ‘been pushing to many pencils but actually a tough guy’ bureaucrat is irritating. Having said that , the decision to give Simon Pegg more screen time adds some much needed comic relief to balance Cruise’s sternness.

Furthermore the use of geographical locations (Moscow, Dubai, Mumbai) is phenomenal, offering stunning scenery and landscapes.

What was your favourite film of 2011? Well Vue Cinemas would like to know. They have selected forty of the most popular films of 2011 and want you to pick which film should be screened again. The winning film will be shown on Oscar Sunday (26th of February) nationwide. Voters will also be entered into a prize draw to win tickets to the event. Visit the Vue Facebook page for more details. Don’t pick Breaking Dawn Part 1. History will judge us.

The Artist • The Woman in Black • The Muppets • A Dangerous Method. For more film reviews visit www.reviewsfromtheouterrim.com.

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CENTRALCROYDON:• Bar Red Square• Bar Ten• Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head• Dog & Bull• George• Goose on the

Market• Gun Tavern• Green Dragon • Half and Half

Lounge Bar• Milan Bar • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle• Steelpoint Tattoo• Surrey Cricketers• Tiger Tiger• Timebomb

Clothing• Yates’s Wine

Lodge

EAST CROY:• Builders Arms • Croydon Visitor

Centre• Glamorgan • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info

Centre• Warehouse

Theatre• Windmill

WEST CROY:• Bird in Hand • Sims Tattoos• Fox and Hounds

SOUTH END &SOUTH CROY:• Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon• Edge • Folly • LA Fitness

(Royal Oak)• La Spezia Deli

(Old Pharmacy - Swan &

Sugarloaf)

• Windsor Castle• Purley Arms • Rail View• Red Deer • Rupali• Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios• Stag & Hounds• Treehouse• Wheelwrights

Arms • Windsor Castle• Woodman • Zizzi

ADDISCOMBE:• Claret Free Hs• Cricketers

PURLEY:• Brass Monkey• Coffee Bay

(by Purley BR)• Elliott’s• Jolly Farmers• Rectory• Purley Pool• Station Cars

PURLEY WAY:• Gipsy Moth• Premier Travel

Inn Hotel• Green’s Gym

COULSDON:• The Pembroke

OLDCOULSDON:• The Fox• Tudor Rose

SANDERST’D:• Sanderstead BR• Stones Hair

Salon• Wine Cellar

SHIRLEY:• Cricketers• Crown• Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn

FORESTDALE:• McDermott’s

Fish Restaurant

SELHURST:• Two Brewers• Lion Inn

THORNTONHEATH:• The Lord Napier

WOODSIDEGREEN:• Beehive

SOUTHNORWOOD:• Portmanor

KENLEY:• Kenley Arms

WHYTELEAFE:• Whyteleafe

Tavern

Advertising in Deep-London:

Prices from just £10 upwardsdepending on type, size andplacementall prices are per month and VAT exemptdiscounts available for block booking etc

Advert design service available

To advertise please e-mail Angela the Editor at:angela@deep-london.co.uk

Got something going on?We’re not psychic, people - let usknow! What’s on listings are FREE!

E-mail:angela@deep-london.co.uk

What’s on? 21full weekly and daily guide

All our information was correct at the time ofgoing to press, but as the only certainty inlife is change, we suggest you check beforeheading out. The opinions and reviews whichfollow are those of the Editor and staff - ifyou have an issue to raise about them, pleasecontact us, rather than the venue.

Listings Index:Pick up your copyof Deep from any of these lovelyplaces:

Stockists:

Deep-London Readership:25,046 monthly

plus online at www.deep-london.co.uk

ww.facebook.com/deeplondonFollow us on Twitter:

@deep_london

GET YOUR EVENTLISTED: e-mail:

ANGELA@DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK

Last date forinclusion in

March issue - 25 FEB 2012

feb2012 7/2/12 2:58 pm Page 22

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Every Day:• Theatre: Don Quixote Until 19 Feb 2012. Not Mondays. Various times and prices,check website for details"O fortunate age! O happy time! In whichshall be made public my incomparableachievements" Cervantes' classic comedyadapted by Vince Foxall music by MiaSoteriou directed by Ted Craig designed byKim Alwyn lighting by Christopher Nairnewith Philip Benjamin, Camilla Mathias,Oliver Paterson, Maia Salvador. GallantDon Quixote de la Mancha and hisdevoted squire Sancho Panza travel Spainin search of adventure, determined to rightall wrongs, save damsels in distress and,most importantly, uphold the Code ofChivalry at all times.During the run of DON QUIXOTE you canWine & Dine in the theatre - having pre-ordered your meal you then collect it fromthe bar in the interval. A limited number ofpremium seats with tables seating fourcan be reserved for £2 which can makeyour meal even more enjoyable.Food orders must be made at least 48hours in advance.Seat, Table & Food Bookings:020 8680 4060fax 020 8688 6699Food is not availableon Matinee PerformancesWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road,Croydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Museum: Dickens & London 9 Dec 2011 - 10 June 2012. Celebrate the 200th anniversary of thebirth of Charles Dickens in the first majorUK exhibition for over 40 years.Recreating the atmosphere of VictorianLondon through sound and projections,you'll be taken on a haunting journey todiscover the city that inspired his writings.Paintings, photographs, costume andobjects will illustrate themes that Dickenswove into his works, while rarely seenmanuscripts including Bleak House andDavid Copperfield – written in the author’sown hand – will offer clues to his creativegenius.During your visit you'll discover howDickens' childhood experiences of London,working in a blacking factory whilehisfather was locked away in a debtor'sprison, were introduced into the stories hewrote. The great social questions of the19th century, including wealth andpoverty, prostitution, childhood mortalityand philanthropy, will also be examined, allof which set the scene for Dickens'greatest works.Highlights of the exhibition will include an

innovative audio-visual experience bringingto life the desk and chair where Dickensworked on his novels, and a speciallycommissioned film by one of the UK’sleading documentary filmmakers, WilliamRaban, which will explore the similaritiesbetween London after dark today and thenight time city described by Dickens over150 years ago.Adult £8 (£7 advance booking)Child/concession £6 (£5 advance booking)Museum of London, 150 London WallLondon EC2Y 5HN, tel: 020 7001 9844email: info@museumoflondon.org.ukwww.museumoflondon.org.uk/dickens• Ice Rink: Canary Wharf Ice Rink Until 19 February 2012.Info: www.canarywharficerink.com Canada Square Park, London, E14 5AX• Market: Surrey Street(Not Sunday) London’s oldest continuouslyrunning market since 1276, with fruit andveg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hotfood, all sorts. Use it or lose it, people. Open Mon-Sat from ridiculously early... Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Museum: Museum Of CroydonMonday - Saturday, 11am - 5pm(Closed Sundays and Bank Holidays)Permanent Galleries:Croydon History - Follow the story ofCroydon from 1800 to now.The Riesco Collection of Chinese Ceramicsis on permanent display in the RiescoGallery at Croydon Clocktower.The Croydon Art Collection contains over2000 paintings, prints and drawings.Depictions of local scenes and landmarksare stored alongside works by HenryMoore, Bridget Riley and Bengali poetRabindranath Tagore. Museum OfCroydon, Clocktower, Katharine Street• Wildlife: Beaver Waterworld We at deep are HUGE fans of BeaverWaterworld, and not just because of theamusing name. They’ve got birds, beavers,lizards, snakes, crocodiles, tons of otheranimals. A registered charity, BWW is alsoa rehoming centre. “Our aim at BeaverWater World Reptile Zoo is to be a refuge- a Noah's Ark for rare and rescuedreptiles”. Open EVERY Day except XmasDay - 10am to 5pm. Adults - £4.00,Children - £3.00. Beaver Water World,Waylands Farm, Approach Road, Tatsfield,Nr. Westerham. Kent. TN16 2JT, Tel:01959 577747.www.beaverwaterworld.com• Farm: Fanny’s FarmTo complement Beaver Waterworld...Farmshop, Tearooms and tea gardens,Childrens play area, Florists, Chickens, pigsand sheep, The famous treehouse,

Landscape garden/garden centre, chickens,2 new vietnamese pot bellied pigs - Burtand Ernie - and sheep. Fanny's Farm Shop,is the perfect place to enjoy a cream tea,fresh coffee or a ploughman's lunchfeaturing local cheeses. Fanny's features awide range of local produce to buy,including jam and marmalade, honey, floralarrangements, pickle, mustards, freshvegetables, bacon and eggs, cakes andhandmade gifts. Open - 9.00am to6.00pm every day including bank holidays,although we do stop serving teas at5.00pm. Fannys Farm Shop, MarkEdgeLane, Merstham, Surrey RH1 3AWemail: fanny@fannysfarmshop.co.ukTel: 01737 554444 http://fannysfarmshop.co.uk

1st Monday of themonth:• Music: Folk/Blues Singers &Musicians NightNo need to book just come along to singand play! £3Croydon Folk and Blues Club,Ruskin House, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon,CR0 1BD. www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

1st Wednesday:• Quiz: Wendy’s Wednesday Quiz -NEW! Fun and fab pub quiz. 8pm. £1 per person.Loads of prizes including bonus prizes forthe excellent ‘music bingo’ round.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Live JazzLive jazz every first Wednesday of themonth. 8pm-10.45pm (bar opens at 7pm).Generally £9. See daily what’s on or visitthe website for who’s playing.Sylvie’s Place, Warlingham Jazz Club,Croydon PO Athletic and Social Club,Trenham Drive, Warlingham,CR6 9RU. 01883 622269.www.sylviesplace.co.uk

1st Thursday:• Live Music: The New Delta BigBandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazz atits best! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.• Gay: Quiz Monthly quiz night.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com

What’s On - Regular Every Day / Monthly Events:

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• Music: Rob’s Musical Zoo - NEW! Unplugged music. 8.30pm.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon• Quiz: The Stag and HoundsHosted by wonderful Wendy - £1pp. 9pm.The Stag and Hounds, 26 Selsdon RoadSouth Croydon CR2 6PB020 8686 0007

1st Friday:• Club: Groove OnFunk club. Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837www.treehousepeople.com• Poetry: Poets Anonymous Friday Poetry at the Fairfield Hotel Bar, 1Lansdowne Road, Croydon, Surrey CR92BN. Floor spots. From 8pm. £2 waged,£1 unwaged. Contact Peter for furtherdetails; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 86459956.

1st Saturday:• Club: Boogie Nights 8pm - MidnightBar open for food and drink from 6.30pm£5 Disco only£10 Disco and Curry Combo(Curry £7.50 on own)Boogie Nights is the newest and funkiestnight in Caterham! DJ John Lazenby playsthe tunes you know and love and isguaranteed to get you on the dance floor.Housed in our new look Studio, youll betransported to the golden era of Disco.Dress to impress and be prepared to danceall night long! Free ticket for the bestdressed! Booking line: 01883 330380. More infoemail info@the-arc-caterham.co.uk or visit www.the-arc-caterham.co.ukThe Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham,Surrey, CR3 5XY

1st Sunday:• Green: Heathfield Ecology CentreNormally open from around 10 o'clockuntil about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever issooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of eachmonth except for 1st January or whenthere is another event. Established in 1997and operates out of the Old Orchard inthe grounds of Heathfield House. Thecentre raises awareness of Croydon's greenheritage and helps to preseve theborough's biodiversity. For full details ofactivities and membership visitwww.heathfield-ecology.org.ukThe Old Orchard, Heathfield, CoombeLane, Croydon CR0 5RH

• Music: ‘The Ukelele & OtherMachines’ Ukelele JamA relaxed, informal ukulele play-alongsession where you are the band! Everyonejoins in, playing songs from our ownsongbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi,Radiohead, The Smiths and everything inbetween. Bring your own ukulele if youhave one but we do have a couple ofspares if you want to try it out. Absolutelyall abilities welcome, from completenovices to good players. Everyone can playsomething, we guarantee it!See “the ukulele & Other Machines” sitewww.ukulele.website.orange.co.uk formore details and link to all our songs. Green Dragon, 58-60 High St, CroydonCR0 1NA. 1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar

2nd Monday:• Group: Croydon WritersWriting group. 7.45pm. New Memberswelcome.. Annual membership - £16.00Meetings - £2 per meeting for members,£4 per meeting for non members. Moreinfo from www.croydonwriters.org.ukThe Library, Croydon Cloctower, KatharineStreet, Croydon

2nd Tuesday:• Comedy: Comedy Nightwith host Gareth and guest comedians.From 8.30pm. The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street,Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749For more events, find us on facebook!• Music: Folk Music - NEW!Live folk band - occasionally this eventdoesn’t occur so please check with the pubthat it’s on before heading out, or just godown there anyway, it’s a nice proper pub.The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Event: Antiques Fair Sunbury antiques is the largest and longestrunning bi-weekly market in the countryOpening hours - 9.00-14.00 (Trade from6.30). Free entry for punters!Organiser:Sunbury Antiques, 01932 230946 orwww.kemptonantiques.com.edwardcruttenden@kemptonantiques.com For more details see www.kempton.co.ukor call 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards from course

2nd Wednesday:• Comedy: - NEW! - NEW!10 acts all hosted by Sarah Iles - Mix ofnew and established acts performing openmic comedy. 8 - 10:30pm. FREE!Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk

2nd Thursday:• Live Music: The BrianHetherington Jazz BandListen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

2nd Saturday:• Poetry: Poets Anonymous Saturday Poetry in the Primary Room,United Reformed Church, AddiscombeGrove, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 5LP. 2.30-4.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to readand share. Contact Peter for furtherdetails; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 86459956• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPlaying Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia.FREE entry! The Green Dragon, 58-60High St, Croydon CR0 1NA

3rd Monday:• Music: Folk/Blues Singers &Musicians NightNo need to book just come along to singand play! £3. Croydon Folk and BluesClub, Ruskin House, 23 Coombe Road,Croydon, CR0 1BD.www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

3rd Tuesday:• History: East Surrey FamilyHistory SocietyMeetings on 3rd Tuesday of the month inthe small hall of East Croydon UnitedReformed Church. Doors Open at 7.30 pmand the meeting starts at 8.00pm. Seedaily what’s on for details of this month’stalk / event. East Croydon UnitedReformed Church, Addiscombe Grove,Croydon CR0 5LP

3rd Thursday:• Music: The New Delta Big BandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazz atits best! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

What’s On - Regular Monthly Events:

feb2012 7/2/12 2:58 pm Page 24

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• Gay: QuizThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL, 020 8683, 3104www.birdinhand.co.uk.

3rd Friday:• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPLAYING A CORNUCOPIA OF SOUNDSINCLUDING 50 2S 60 2S 70 2S , BLUES ,SOUL , FUNK , ROCK , JAZZ ,PSYCHEDELIA . EVERY 3RD FRIDAY ATTHEE OVAL TAVERN. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, Surrey, CR0 6BR Tel: 020 86866023, http://ovaltavern.co.uk

3rd Saturday:• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPlaying Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia.FREE entry!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High St,Croydon CR0 1NA

3rd Sunday:• Group: Heathfield Ecology CentreNormally open from around 10 o'clockuntil about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever issooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of eachmonth except for 1st January or whenthere is another event. Established in 1997and operates out of the Old Orchard inthe grounds of Heathfield House. Thecentre raises awareness of Croydon's greenheritage and helps to preseve theborough's biodiversity. For full details ofactivities and membership visitwww.heathfield-ecology.org.ukThe Old Orchard, Heathfield, CoombeLane, Croydon CR0 5RH• Music: ‘The Ukelele & OtherMachines’ Ukelele JamA relaxed, informal ukulele play-alongsession where you are the band! Everyonejoins in, playing songs from our ownsongbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi,Radiohead, The Smiths and everything inbetween. Bring your own ukulele if youhave one but we do have a couple ofspares if you want to try it out. Absolutelyall abilities welcome, from completenovices to good players. Everyone can playsomething, we guarantee it!See “the ukulele & Other Machines”websitehttp://ukulele.website.orange.co.uk formore details and link to all our songs. Green Dragon58-60 High St, Croydon CR0 1NA1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar.

4th Tuesday:• Live Music: Open MicSimon Hughes's blues and acoustic OpenMike nights. We let you entertain us! From8.30pm. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk• Event: Antiques Fair Sunbury antiques is the largest and longestrunning bi-weekly market in the countryOpening hours - 9.00-14.00 (Trade from6.30). Free entry for punters!Organiser:Sunbury Antiques, 01932 230946 orwww.kemptonantiques.com.edwardcruttenden@kemptonantiques.com For more details see www.kempton.co.ukor call 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards from course

4th Thursday:• Live Music: The BrianHetherington Jazz BandListen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

4th Saturday:• Music: DJ BennyManyHatsPlaying the way only Benny can.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk

Last Monday:• Science: Cafe ScientifiqueFree talks and discussions with a scientiston a subject of topical interest on the lastMonday of each month from 18:30 to20:00 in the Braithwaite Hall (CroydonClocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon) -no ticket necessary.

Last Tuesday:• Music: Live JazzJazz on the Last Tuesday of Every Monthat 8.30 PM. See www.jazznet.co.uk forwho’s on.The Golden Lion, 116 Sydenham RoadLondon SE26 5JX, Tel: 020 8778 6859Car Parking at rear of Pubwww.jazznet.co.uk

Last Thursday:• Quiz: The Bedford Tavern From 7pm. £2 per person - all proceeds tolocal charities. Great prizes inc. drinkvouchers for winners.The Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road,Croydon CR0 2EF. 020 8688 2584

Last Friday:• Club: Histree HouseLast Friday of the month. Old-skool house.Open til 3am. Free entry for Treehousediners, otherwise £5.Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837www.treehousepeople.com• Music: Party Night - NEW!Last Friday of the month.R’n’B, Soul, Funk,Reggae, Hip Hop past and present. FREE!The Windmill, 224 St James’ Road,Croydon CR0 2BW,020 8684 2272www.thewindmillcroydon.com

.................................Every Monday:• Quiz: Green DragonWendy’s marvellous pub quiz.8pm every Monday. Jackpot round!£1.50 in, winning team gets the cash.Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon• Music: Community Choir 6:30pm, upstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Games: Poker NightPoker at the Jolly Farmers.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Games: Poker and Darts From 8.30pm.The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Club: Soap Company DJs 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne)from 7pm til midnight. Free entry before10pm. With exotic sounds, altered groovesand alien beats from The Soap Co DJs..Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Group: Croydon Natural Historyand Scientific Society meets on most Monday evenings from19:45 at the Small Hall of the UnitedReform Church in Addiscombe Grove, EastCroydon. For more information about thesociety go towww.greig51.freeserve.co.uk/cnhss/index.htm#about

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• Quiz: Rough Trade Shop Pop Quiz 8pm-10pm £1 per team member, up to 6in a team. Picture rounds, name that tunerounds, anagrams, bad puns (good puns?)and brain teasing musical questions fromPaul Guided Missile. Prizes include wine,Rough Trade Shop Record Tokens andCheezy Wotsits for best team name!The Lexington, 96-98 Pentonville RoadLondon, N1 9JB. Tel: 020 7837 5371www.thelexington.co.uk• Games: Magic the Gathering with M&M Games.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Slow Jams, Neo Soul,Smooth Jazz NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar

Every Tuesday:• Music: Jazz Jam SessionEvery Tuesday Night at The Lord NapierJazz Pub. All welcome.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 9-10pmAlso croydon roller derby are taking onnew skaters so anyone who's Interestedplease contact us at fenrisflyers@gmail.comor deathpixie666@hotmail.com • Quiz: The Pembroke8pm. 50p per person per round. Plus 2 for1 on pizzas.The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead ValleyRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA020 8763 0800• Quiz: The Builders ArmsFun general knowledge quiz.The Builders Arms, 65 Leslie Park Road,Croydon, CR0 6TP, 020 8654 1803• Club: Cheap Sheep Tuesdays DJ Analog playing all your indie, rock,metal, alternative, techno, electro, drum &bass and dubstep classics!Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com• Music: Freedom of Expressionpresents the best in acoustic music,comedy, poetry and magic - see dailywhat’s on for who’s playing when. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Karaoke: The Odd Shoe Give it some welly. Every Tuesday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon

• Music: Open Mic from 7.30. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, Surrey, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023, http://ovaltavern.co.uk• Fitness: Yoga ClassesEvery Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 aclass for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley.0208 763 2629• Dance: Strictly Fun DancingBallroom Dancing every Tuesday.Beginners - 7pm. £6Improvers - 7.45pm. £6Social Dance - 8.30pm. £7Buy two sessions for £11, 3 for £16.Arnham Gallery, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG.Box Office: 020 8688 9291www.fairfield.co.uk• Community: Women-OnlySwimming SessionsSouth Norwood pool: Tuesdays 8-10pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council• Music: Motown Hits NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Club: Croydon Outdoor Pursuits &Social Events Club (COPSE) Meets on Tuesdays from 8.15pm at thehall of South Croydon United Church,Heathfield Road by jct with AberdeenRoad for a wide range of talks, quizzes,interactive socials and for planning walksand cycles at the weekend. Club membersalso adjourn to the Skylark pub, South Endafter 10.30pm. All welcome. Moreinformation at www.copsecroydon.co.uk

Every Wednesday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand SaturdaysPermanent Galleries: Local History -The development of our area from earliesttimes. It contains sections on Geology andfossils, Stone Ages, Bronze and Iron Ages,the Romans in East Surrey, an Anglo-Saxoncorner, medieval times and modern history.Also stages various transient exhibitions.Admission is free but donations arewelcomed.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org

• Quiz: Mike K’s GeneralKnowledge QuizFrom 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledgequiz, non-members welcome!Caterham Club, 10A, Croydon Road,Caterham CR36QB• Quiz: Foxley HatchEvery Wednesday from 8pm. £1 entry perperson - winner takes all. Maximum 4 on ateam. The Foxley Hatch, Purley• Event: Talent NightTalent Night Open Mic. Every Wednesday.£200 prize! The Whyteleafe Tavern, 208 GodstoneRoad, Whyteleafe, CR3 0EEwww.whyteleafetavern.com• Dance: DancerciseKeep fit and meet new people at this funand friendly beginners dance class. Comeand join the fun every Wednesday.7.30pm. £3.50.Central Court, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Music: Midweek Music ClubVarious acts. If we know who’s playingyou’ll find the info in the daily what’s on...The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Dance: Swing Patrol swing dance classes, 7pm, £5.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Club: Cake WednesdayDJ Thom Dorke playing the best in Indie,Electro and Cheese. £1 PINTS OFCARLSBERG AND OLDE ENGLISH 8PM-11PM. £1 before 10pm £2 afterJoin our Cake Club on Facebook forguaranteed FREE entry all nighthttp://www.facebook.com/groups/224336347623164/Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Games: Poker and Darts From 8.30pm.The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Social: Croydon D&S Social ClubARE YOU DIVORCED - SEPARATED - orWIDOWED ? ARE YOU LONELYStuck indoors with nowhere to go?THEN THIS IS THE CLUB FOR YOU!!!Why not come along and give it a tryPlenty of Car parking spaces DISCO,DANCING and VARIOUS EVENTSduring the year - Car rally, DartsTournament, Saturday Dances, Days out,Weekends away, Outings to Warners,Yarmouth, Isle of Wight, etc. etcWhatever your age, we all get lonely

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Why not meet new people, make newfriends and enjoy yourselves. Bring yourown alcohol. No admittance after 10.00pmSmart Jeans - NO TRAINERSMembership £10 per yearWednesday Admission £3.00Every Wednesday evening. 8-11pm. St Mary's Church hall, Wellesley RoadCroydon opposite Station RoadNear West Croydon Bus/Tram/TrainStation. www.croydon-ds.co.uk• Gay: Darts & Free PoolFrom 7pm. All welcome.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Arts: Croydon Camera ClubCroydon Camera Club meets weekly onWednesday evenings (except in August)Start Time: 7.45pm for 8pm.Finish Time: Around 10:00pm.Tea and coffee are served during theinterval. Checkwww.croydoncameraclub.org.uk to seewhat we are doing. If you are interested inphotography, novice or expert, you arealways welcome. . Shirley Methodist Church Hall, EldonAvenue, Shirley, Croydon, CR0 8SDThere is ample parking if you are driving. The Hall is is approximately 1.5 milesfrom East Croydon Station as you travelalong the A232 heading towards Shirley.Alternatively buses 119, 194, 466, 198,and 130 stop close by. • Music: Soulful HouseNEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(next to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: Live Music Every Wednesday from 8pm. See dailywhat’s on or posters in the pub for who’splaying. The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.ukwww.shippub.co.uk

Every Thursday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand Saturdays. See every Wednesday.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Tattoos: Walk-In DayNo need to book in advance on aThursday only at Sims, get there early!11am-6pm. Sims Tattoos, 69 WindmillRoad, Croydon, CR0 2XR, 020 8684 6967

• Quiz: Two BrewersFun charity quiz night from 9.30pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: Purley ArmsEvery Thursday. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, SouthCroydon, 020 8686 3792• Quiz: JF Big Quiz£1 per player, win prizes, league points,and maybe cash in our Open The Boxgame! New teams always welcome.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFrom 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037• Music: Unplugged Live local acoustic acts, every Thursday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Club: DAMMIT!!South London’s biggest rock night just gotbigger! DJ ZOE URCHIN plays rock,metalcore, emo, screamo, classic rock,alternative, nu-metal, pop punk and ska. Doors 7pm til late, free entry before 10pm,CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 7pm-10pm,£1.50 Jager shots all night.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Live JazzCheck monthly regular events for who’splaying when. 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Dance: Clog DancingFree taster sessions for newcomers to tryout some lively N.W. English clog teamdances - wear trainers or similar footwear.Musicians with portable acousticinstruments always welcome too. PLEASECALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as someThursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm.FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056(eves.) for detailsUnited Reformed Church Hall, cornerEnmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood• Dance: Morris DancingNorth Wood Morris Men are teachingMen's Morris to complete beginners onThursday evenings at the Scout Hut inPurley Park Road at 8.15 pm andnewcomers are welcome(first call 020 8668 1830) seewww.northwoodmorris.org.uk• Dance: The South East LondonLindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop(Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. Nopartner required and Caron and Stevespecialise in helping those with two left

feet get together with those with tworight. Doors open 7.30pmBeginners Class 7.45pmIntermediate Class 8.30pmFreestyle (practice) 9.15pmThe Royston Club, 85 Royston RoadPenge, London, SE20 7QWwww.52ndstreetjump.co.uk• Gay: Quiz New every Thursday, quiz night at TheBird. The Bird In Hand, 291 SydenhamRoad, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Burlesque / Cabaret: Tassel Club Our Thursday Show - £28 summer supper& show. £15 show only - fully seated,candle lit cabaret. Doors from 7.30pm.Contact info@thetasselclub.com or call07981 909 177 for direct bookings for anyThursday night show.The Bath House, 8 BishopsgateChurchyard, City of London, EC2M 3TJ• Music: Lunchtime JazzJazz Every Thursday Lunchtime.Starts 12.15 - 2.00 pm Admission FREE!The Clocktower Cafe, Katherine Street,Croydon, Surrey CR9 1ET• Music: Lover’s Rock & ReggaeOldies NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(next to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ Cherrybomb From 8pm.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.ukwww.shippub.co.uk• Music: Soap Co DJs - NEW!Disco – Wonky – Dub -DreamPop -Exotica – 70’s, 80’s, 90’s - Funk – Art Rockto name but a few from The SoapCompany. 5pm – 4am. Free before 11 £3 after18+ venue, Please remember to bring yourID to sign up to our membership system,we accept driving licenses or passports orpass logo approved cards.Dress code - Smart casual wear must beworn. We don’t allow: Dirty work wear,baseball caps, Stone Island or hoodies(Except on sundays when there will be a30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com• Karaoke: Lansdowne Lounge -NEW!From 7pm. Lansdowne Lounge, 1Lansdowne Road, Croydon, CR9 2BN

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Every Friday:• Music: Live MusicAlternating live bands and karaoke everyFriday NightThe Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EF, 020 8688 2584 • Karaoke: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8.30pm every Friday night.Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Karaoke: Two Brewers Every Friday night. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Music: Oval DJsThe regular Oval faves, plus guests,keeping Fridays funky.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR020 8686 6023, www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Live MusicEvery Friday night from 8pm. Plus 2 for 1on Corona and Jacques.The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead ValleyRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA020 8763 0800• Event: Wii NightEvery Friday evening.The View, 188 selsdon Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.• Club: Crash & Carry Start your weekend with a bang!With DJ MagooFREE entry before 10pmCheap Sheep now 7-11pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Photography: Camera ClubCamera Club meeting in West Croydonevery Friday night welcomes visitors andnew members. Full programme of eventsincluding print/slide talks, portraitevenings, competitions, etc.Ample parking.Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visitwww.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk• Karaoke: Karaoke Madness FROM 9pm - MIDNIGHT) *FREE ADM B410pm* The Norbury & Edge 1300 LondonRoad Norbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Club: The EdgeTHE EDGE NIGHT CLUB OPEN EVERY FRI& SAT. CLUB CLASSICS & CHARTANTHEMS tll 3am*FREE PUB 2 CLUB ADM B4 10pm*The Norbury & Edge 1300 London RoadNorbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Music: DJsA range of DJs playing eclectic tunes andrequests. Every Friday and Saturday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon

• Music: 70s / 80s Soul Classics andParty Anthems NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(next to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ Linton - NEW!Pop to party anthems, Cheesy tunes &Electro with Linton. 5pm – 4am. Freebefore 10 £4 after. 18+ venue, Pleaseremember to bring your ID to sign up toour membership system, we accept drivinglicenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies(Except on sundays when there will be a30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com

Every Saturday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand SaturdaysSee every Wednesday.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Music: VariousLive music every Saturday Night.The Surrey Cricketers, corner of LowerCoombe Street and West Street, Croydon.• Market: Garden Market The Alma Garden Market hopes to createa vibrant bustling market place in the largeprivate courtyard of The Alma pub inCrystal Palace. It runs every Saturday withover 20 stalls selling plants & flowers,beauty products & treatments, exotic oils,olive oils, capers, strawberries, chocolates,jewellery, hand made cards, rugs,leatherwear, knitwear, deli produce & awide range of arts & crafts from localartists, plus hot food and collectables - andthe Jerk Chicken man will be there!10am - 4pmThe Alma, 95 Church Road, CrystalPalace, London SE19www.thealmapub.com• Club: Linton Saturday night's music is a mixture ofdance-driven, bass-heavy sounds... fromDubstep, Drum n Bass, Old Skool Jungle,HardStyle, Old Rave Tunes, 90's UKGarage, Big 'Phat' Beats, Grime, Ragga,HipHop, Subtle acid breaks, Electro,Moombahton, Techno, Trojan Ska & Dub

from DJ LINTON. Because it’s war on thedancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till9pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Tiger Tiger Tiger and Raffles Bar: with Capital FM DesPaul and Chris Brooks playing out the bestin commercial party and danceanthems.Groovy Wonderland: 70’s and80’s floor fillers. Club: Commercial House.Admission free before 10pm, £7 after.Guestlist free before 11pm, £5 after. Dresscode: Dress to Impress - No Sportswear.Tiger Tiger, 14-16 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1GT. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk• Music: The Edge THE EDGE NIGHT CLUB OPEN EVERY FRI& SAT. CLUB CLASSICS & CHARTANTHEMS tll 3am*FREE PUB 2 CLUB ADM B4 10pm*The Norbury & Edge 1300 London RoadNorbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Music: New Orleans JazzQuality live jazz every Saturday Night.From 8.30pm. £6 entry includes free raffle.Blackheath Hockey Club, Rubens Street,Sydenham, SE6 4DH (behind Old RutlandPub)• Music: Various Live music most Saturday nights.The Good Companions, Hamsey Green,South Croydon. 020 8657 6655• Gay: Party NightEvery Saturday nigt is party night at TheBird. The Bird In Hand, 291 SydenhamRoad, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Burlesque: Tassel Club Tassel Club Supper Club.Contact reservations@proud.co.uk fordirect bookings Proud Cabaret, London.www.proud.co.uk• Kids: Storytime with JennyLockyer Stories, songs, puppetry, activities and lotsof fun! It's aimed at 3-7 year olds, but allare welcome!It's every Saturday and it's FREE!1pm-3pm.Upstairs at the Green Dragon58-60 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1NA• Community: Women-OnlySwimming Sessions Thornton Heath pool: Saturday 4.45 -6.45pm. New Addington pool: Saturdays2.30-3.30pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council

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• Music: DJsA range of DJs playing eclectic tunes andrequests. Every Friday and Saturday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Celebration Saturdays -Party Night NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ Schminky - NEW!House & Amp. 8pm – 4am. Free before10 £5 after. 18+ venue, Please rememberto bring your ID to sign up to ourmembership system, we accept drivinglicenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies(Except on sundays when there will be a30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com• Music: Live Music - NEW!Various acts. Every Saturday evening.Lansdowne Lounge, 1 Lansdowne RoadCroydon, Surrey, CR9 2BN• Music: Live Music Live music at The Oval - see daily what’son for who’s playing when. From 8pm.FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023

Every Sunday:• Music: New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The LordNapier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor,raffle, great atmosphere at one of thelongest running Jazz Pubs in Great BritainThe Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Music: Live Jazz Lunchtime Jazz every Sunday from 1pm.See daily what’s on for who’s playing thismonth. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Live Blues Live music at The Oval - see daily what’son for who’s playing when.From 5.30pm.FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Quiz: The ViewEvery Sunday evening.The View, 188 selsdon Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.

• Quiz: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Quiz: Two BrewersFun charity quiz night from 8pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: The Spread Eagle Fun quiz with round prizes as well as mainprize. £1 per person. From 7pm. The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine St,Croydon, CR0 1NX, 020 8781 1134• Karaoke: The White HorseEvery Sunday Night from 7pm.The White Horse, 1 Selhurst Road,Selhurst, South Norwood, 020 8240 0948• Music: Open Mic Musicians (all instruments) welcome. Withone of our 4 fantastic hosts: Dave Mac,Rob Cushman, Neil Mac and Steve BrightThe Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Poker: The Alma Tavern From 6pm.The Alma Tavern, Lower AddiscombeRoad, Addiscombe, East Croydon• Music: Acoustic Sundays From classical to folk, poetry to unpluggedpunk rock, Scream Lounge's acousticnights guarantee you a night to remember.Most evenings are free entry, don't runlate, so you won't ruin your week with aMonday hangover! 7pm start. Seewww.myspace.com/screamstudios or dailylistings for what's on and when.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN• Music: Sunday Jazz Lunch From midday until 4pm every Sunday, whynot come down for a delicious roast dinnerstraight from the club’s acclaimed kitchens(not compulsory for entry but highlyrecommended!) and enjoy a couple of setsof laid back music from some of London’sbest musicians and singers.Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club, 47 Frith Street,London W1D 4HTBox Office: 020 7439 0747www.ronniescotts.co.uk• Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 2pm till 4pmAlso croydon roller derby are taking onnew skaters so anyone who's Interestedplease contact us at fenrisflyers@gmail.comor deathpixie666@hotmail.com• Gay: Open The BoxEvery Sunday at 7pm.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com

• Community: Women-OnlySwimming SessionsPurley pool: Sundays 2.30-3.30pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council• Music: Soulful Sundays - ModernSoul and Rare Groove Classics - A new and exciting intimate spot for themature soul and Jazz lovers to Lounge,Eat, Dance and Meet. In the heart ofCroydon Town.NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: The Sunday Service From 7pm. Nothing like any other night...no rock, no metal, just all your fav cheesytunes from DJs Ritchie and Pete -plus....£25 bar tab to be won every week!.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.ukwww.shippub.co.uk• Music: Over 30s Night - NEW!Every Sunday from 19th Feb.7pm-till late. Over 30’s motown (singlesnight). £3.00 all night. 18+ venue, Pleaseremember to bring your ID to sign up toour membership system, we accept drivinglicenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies (Except on sundays when therewill be a 30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com

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Wed 01 February2012• Awareness Event: National HeartMonthwww.bhf.org.uk• Awareness Event: RaynaudsAwareness Monthwww.raynauds.org.uk• Awareness Event: ScamsAwareness MonthEncouraging you to dob in that Nigerianbanker who keeps e-mailing you.www.scam-detectives.co.uk• Awareness Event: Gay HistoryMonth www.lgbthistorymonth.org.uk

Thu 02• Music: Scream Showcase Night with: Brightlight City, Helter Skelter,Acroama (Alt/Indie-Rock)Presenting a fresh line up of bands andacts, brand new to Scream. Doors 8pmFREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Fri 03• Charity Event: Feel Good FridayIn aid of The Samaritanswww.feelgoodfriday.org • Food Event: National Carrot Day• Music: Chill Till BlueLive music at The Farmers. 9.30pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sat 04• Awareness Event: World CancerDay www.worldcancerday.org• Event: All Weather Car Boot SaleHuge Site, Disabled Parking, Toilets,Refreshements. Open to the public from7.30am - 1pm, (sellers from 7am-10.30am. Pitches £12 - £15. To book apitch call J.P.M Fairs on 01474 831367 or07795 967609or email joemccarthy1@btinternet.com)Fairfield Halls Multi-Storey Car Park,Barclay Road, Croydon, CR0 1JNwww.addingtonbootfair.co.uk• Music: CHAIN BAND with JoCorteenLive music at The Farmers. 9.30pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

• Music: Swamp City Shakers Live music at The Oval. 8pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: Anivian Promotionspresent Animus Sadist (EP Launch show),Silhouette Of A Ghost, Reign Of Tyranny,Surface The Dissent, The AtrocityExhibition (Metalcore)Doors 7.30pm. £5 EntryAges 16+ WelcomeScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: Don't Ask A mix of rock, soul, indie & pop covers,featuring 3 great guest vocalists.Doors 8pm. £5 EntryAges 16+ WelcomeScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Sun 05• Food Event: British YorkshirePudding DayA perfect excuse for a nice roast dinner. • Food Event: Bramley Apple Week5th-12th Feb. www.bramleyapples.co.uk • Event: All Weather Car Boot SaleHuge Site, Disabled Parking, Toilets,Refreshements. Open to the public from7.30am - 1pm, (sellers from 7am-10.30am. Pitches £12 - £15. To book apitch call J.P.M Fairs on 01474 831367 or07795 967609or email joemccarthy1@btinternet.com)Fairfield Halls Multi-Storey Car Park,Barclay Road, Croydon, CR0 1JNwww.addingtonbootfair.co.uk• Music: GEOFF MASON (Trom)QUINTET Featuring Kelvin Christiane - Do not missthis exciting band "KC Jazz"Live jazz every Sunday 1pm-3pm. Upstairs.FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.jazznet.co.uk• Music: JC Moody & The UsualSuspects Live music at The Oval. 5.30pm.FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music / Comedy: Jo Stephenson JO STEPHENSON is a special guest at theGreen Dragon Ukulele Jam. She will be onstage from about 9:00pm after our regularukulele jam. Jo has an ever-expandingrepertoire of comic masterpieces covering

topics from the mundane (lard, servicestations) to the sinister (se...rial killers andworse). She claims to be able to write asong about any subject under the sun.Recent commissions include a charmingditty about pepper grinders for Radio 4show Questions, Questions.If have a ukulele bring it along from7:30pm onwards for our usual jam session!See http://ukulele.magix.net/ The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Scream UnpluggedPresents Woodsy's Dock, with Inkhouse, TheCentrales, Cassettes, Mark Woods, SuzySaker, Chris Mays (Acoustic/Alternative)Starts 6.30pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: Singers Night 8pm. All welcome. More info fromwww.folkandblues.org Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon CR0 1BDwww.folkandblues.org• Music: JOLLY JAM night hostedby Roger W and friendsLive music at The Farmers. 9pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: DOM PIPKIN and the IKOsA much in demand pianist (he’s workedwith Morcheeba, Ray Davis and PalomaFaith to name check just three!) Dom’s firstlove is still very much the “Crescent Citysound” and that is where his band “theIkos” come in. With a beefed up soundadding harmonies, sax, trumpet and asuper tight rhythm section to Dom’s greatpiano playing, these guys’ have a welldeserved reputation for being at the top oftheir game - as borne out by their busylive schedule! Find out more about Dom atwww.dompipkin.co.uk. TICKETS JUST £8 /DOORS 7pm / BAND ON STAGE 8PM /SECOND SET AT 9.30PM. For more info or to book tickets viawww.hideawaylive.co.uk or phone thevenue on 0208 835 7070.Speakeasy at Hideaway, 2 Empire Mews,Stanthorpe Road, London SW16 2ED

Mon 06• Awareness Event: Go Green Week5th-11th Feb. www.peopleandplanet.org• Music: Singers & Musicians night£3 No need to book, just turn up.Croydon Folk Club - Join us for first class

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folk and real ale at club prices! ContactJenny or Brian on 020 8660 5919 or 07703210 795 Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House, 23Coombe Road, Croydon CR0 1BDwww.croydonfolkclub.org.uk • Theatre / Comedy: All The SingleLadiesMon 6 – Sat 11 FebA hilarious new comedy from up andcoming comedienne and wife of RobertWebb, Abigail Burgess. Starring Leslie Ash,Brooke Kinsella and Tara Flynn.The Churchill Theatre, High StreetBromley, Kent BR1 1HA0844 871 7627. www.atgtickets.com

Tue 07• Music: Allesandro Taverna Lunchtime classical concert. 1.05 pm. More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Music: Freedom of Expression The very best in acoustic music, poetry,comedy and magic from around Londonand further afield with Will Stevens, AdrianTaylor, She Makes War and Cajita.Upstairs, 8pm, FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.freedomexpression.co.uk

Wed 08• Comedy: Free Live Comedy Night A top line up of comedians, making youlaugh for free! Hosted by Sarah IlesStarts 8pm. Free entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: Royal PhilharmonicOrchestra Grand Opera gala with guest star LeslieGarrett and guest tenor and baritone.7.30pm. £12 - £31.50More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Music: Midweek Music ClubLive music at The Farmers. Act tbc.9.15pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Beer: Battersea Beer Festival8th-10th Feb. 150 kils of real ale fromaround country, traditional ciders andperries, country wines and continentalbeers.. More info from www.camra.org.ukBAC (Battersea Arts Centre), Town HallRoad, Lavender Hill, London.

Thu 09• Music: Scream Showcase night with: Acoustic Drive plus more tbc(Indie/Rock covers). Presenting a fresh lineup of bands and acts, brand new toScream. Doors 8pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: Thelma - World Premiere 9th-11th Feb. Surrey Opera brings the Wolrd Premiere ofSamuel Coleridge-Taylor’s rediscoveredopera Thelma to Croydon, where thecomposer lived and worked for his entirelife. 7.30pm. £18 - £25 (+bkg fee)More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Fri 10• Music: Slash UK A tribute to the big-haired top-hattedguitarist, covering classic Guns n Roses,Velvet Revolver, Slash's Snakepit & moreDoors 8pm. £6 entry. Ages 16+ WelcomeScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk

• Music: Inside EdgeLive music at The Farmers. 9.30pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Buddy Holly Tribute Night 8pm. Just £2 in. A special evening of 50stribute music featuring Feuding Lloyds,Rob Family Band and more. More infofrom www.folkandblues.org Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon CR0 1BDwww.folkandblues.org• Music: Dj BennyManyHatsplaying indie, new wave, garage, ska andreggae, 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Battle Of The BandsDoors 7.30pm, gig 8pm. £5 in advance, £8on the door. More details from the websiteThe Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham, CR3 5XYwww.the-arc-caterham.co.ukinfo@the-arc-caterham.co.uk

Sat 11• Event: Croydon Cats ProtectionHoming Day Adopt a cat from Croydon Cats Protection.Looking for a cat? Come to our homingday. Time 10am-1pm. Come and meet thecats and talk to their fosterers before youadopt.Harris Academy, South NorwoodSE25 6AE• Music: Scream All-Ages presents Katalyst, First In Last Out, The MomentArises, Silent AsylumDoors 7pm. £5 EntryAll-ages welcome, under 14s must beaccompanied by a paying adult.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: BrightwhiteLive music at The Farmers. 9.30pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: GUNS 2 ROSES The no.1 guns & roses tribute band. Onstage 10.30pm + The Edge nightclub till4am. Adm. £8 in advance or on the doorThe Norbury & Edge 1300 London RoadNorbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Music: Electric Experience Live music at The Oval. 8pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: Tango Fiesta - CroydonSymphony Orchestra

What’s On - Daily Guide:

• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Mon 6th Feb. Come and join us everyMonday!To celebrate the Chinese New Year: Theyear of the Dragon we have decided tostart this month with two films from

Bruce Lee, the original Chinese Dragon.The first is a story about his life, thesecond, one of the greatest martial artsfilms ever made. Tonight: DRAGON: THEBRUCE LEE STORY @ 8pm FREE ENTRY!The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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An exciting concert of popular latin-American music with fiesta dancers.7.30pm. £11 - £16.More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Theatre / Comedy: AndrewO’Neill AlternativesFunny comedy show by long-haired man(includes short play about gravy). All stylesof comedy covered, guaranteed (sometwice). As seen on Stewart Lee's ComedyVehicle, heard hijacking the Radio OneRock Show and satirising on Radio 5 Live,and read in Terroriser magazine."a winning blend of polemic and off-beatwhimsy" The Guardian"a comedian with his own, unique voice...O'Neill is particularlyadmirable" The Scotsman"some of the best one-liners in thecountry" Chortle"anarchic wit, surreal tales andidiosyncratic delivery" Fest8pm £10/£8 concs Suitable for: 18+Charles Cryer Studio Theatre, 39 HighStreet, Carshalton, 020 8770 4959www.secombetheatre.co.uk• Club: Kinky Malinki Valentines10pm-7am with DJ Chus, David Penn,Abel Ramos & more. Tix from £10.Proud 2, The O2, London. More info fromwww.kinkymalinki.com

Sun 12• Awareness Event: Children ofAlcoholics Week12th-18th Feb. www.nacoa.org • Music: ADRIAN REID Quartet One of the finest pianists around - workedwith Jazz Warriors, Branford Marsalis Live jazz every Sunday 1pm-3pm. Upstairs.FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.jazznet.co.uk• Music: Roland ChadwickLive music at The Oval. 5.30pm.FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 OvalRoad, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: Acoustically Speaking Monthly Soul/Poetry/Spoken Word & Jazzsession, brought to you in style by theEclectic Atrs Network. Starts 7pm. £5 EntryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: The Biggin Hillbillies &Singers Night 8pm. £2. More info fromwww.folkandblues.org Croydon Folk and Blues Club, Ruskin

House, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon CR01BD. www.folkandblues.org• Music: Skamonics London based ska band, playing a uniquemix of authentic 60s ska, two-tone andcompletely unexpected covers. A drivingrhythm section provides a firm foundationfor three blazing horns and a top femalevocalist, blasting out a wide repertoire ofska favourites and tunes given a skatreatment for the very first time. 8.30pm.FREE! The Ritzy, Brixton Oval, Brixton, London,SW2 1JG, 0871 704 2068www.skamonics.co.uk• Comedy: The Happy HookerComedy Club Top Acts from the London Comedy Circuit.For more info searchHappyHookerComedy on facebook. The Railway Tavern, Clapham High Street(Clapham North Tube)• Music: Glen Miller OrchestraThe Churchill Theatre, High StreetBromley, Kent BR1 1HA0844 871 7627. www.atgtickets.com• Gay: LGBTT night Feat. LadyImeldaIn celebration of gay history month, theBlack Sheep Bar and Crocus bring you anight of fun & games! With Lady Imeldaperforming live and DJ Linton camping itup! 7pm till late. £2 all nightBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music / Theatre: The Dolly PartonStory No further info at time of going to print -sorry! 7.30pm. £15 - £16.50 (+bkg fee).More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Event: The Arc’s 2nd Birthday!Lots of free lessons and taster sessions forall. More details on the website.The Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham, CR35XY www.the-arc-caterham.co.ukinfo@the-arc-caterham.co.uk

Mon 13• Music: Maggie Boyle & PaulDownes www.skinnymalinksmusic.co.ukDoors: 8.00pm. Non Members: £10.00Members: £7.00. Croydon Folk Club - Joinus for first class folk and real ale at clubprices! Contact Jenny or Brian on 0208660 5919 or 0770 3210 795 Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House, 23Coombe Road, Croydon CR0 1BDwww.croydonfolkclub.org.uk

• Theatre: Glen Miller OrchestraMon 13 – Sat 18 FebAn all star cast feature in Mike Stott’s multiaward winning comedy classicThe Churchill Theatre, High StreetBromley, Kent BR1 1HA0844 871 7627. www.atgtickets.com• Music: The Cornshed Sisters’Single Release PartyDOORS: 8pm. ADM: £5AGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: The Cornshed Sisters + LucasRenney + George FrakesGenre: folkVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700BUY ONLINE:http://windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings

Tue 14• Event: Valentine’s Day • Charity Event: Gold Heart DayThe Variety Club’s Charity helping sick,disabled & disadvantaged children andyoung people. This year they have, as wellas the usual gold hearts, Star Wars hearts,available from Forbidden Planet and more.For more info visit: www.varietyclub.org.uk• Animal Event: National Nest BoxWeek 14th-21st Feb. Encouraging us toput up bird nest boxes, as you can tellfrom the name.

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What’s On - Daily Guide:• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Mon 13th Feb. Come and join us everyMonday!To celebrate the Chinese New Year: Theyear of the Dragon we have decided tostart this month with two films from

Bruce Lee, the original Chinese Dragon.The first is a story about his life, thesecond, one of the greatest martial artsfilms ever made. Tonight: ENTER THEDRAGON @ 8pm FREE ENTRY!The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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• Awareness Event: Think AboutSex DayNot as much fun as it sounds - it’sorganised by the Sexual Advice Associationand aims to ‘encourage everyone to thinkabout the physical and psychological issuessurrounding sexual activity. Encouragingpeople to think about sex is the first steptowards ensuring the public's sexual healthand wellbeing.’ Saucy! www.sda.uk.net • Music: James and PhilippaWillshere Lunchtime classical pianist duo.1.05pm. £5.More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Party: Anti-Valentine’s Day Anti- Valentine’s cocktails, drink deals andmore. Half and Half Lounge Bar, 282 HighStreet, Croydon CR0 1NG. 020 8726 0080info@halfandhalf.uk.comwww.halfandhalf.uk.com• Music: Valentine’s Day Jazz with the John Law Trio. Arnhem Gallery.9pm. £15 or more with food (pizza). More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Music: Freedom of Expression The very best in acoustic music, poetry,comedy and magic from around Londonand further afield with The Blowpipes,Roshi Nasehi and open mic. Upstairs, 8pm,FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.freedomexpression.co.uk• Kids / Theatre: Horrible Histories 14th-18th Feb. Excellent - love this programme!Various times - two different shows - TheTerrible Tudors and the Vile Victorians.Discounts when booking both.£10 - £14.50 (+bkg fee). More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Music / Theatre: Celtic DreamTour One of the most original and authenticIrish shows around.8pm. £20 - £22.50 (+bkg fee). More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Theatre: This Happy Breed14th - 18th Feb.Chase Theatre Company presentsTHIS HAPPY BREED

As their offering to mark the Queen’sJubilee Year, Chase Theatre Company willbe presenting Noel Coward’s This HappyBreed. This much loved play depicts thefortunes of an ordinary London familyduring the period between the two WorldWars. David Lean’s film version isfrequently shown on TV channels andstarred Robert Newton, Celia Johnson andJohn Mills.Eve 7.30pm Sat Mat 2.30pm Tue – Thur &Sat Mat £11/£10 concs Fri & Sat Eve£12/£11 concsSuitable for : 8+Charles Cryer Studio Theatre, 39 HighStreet, Carshalton, 020 8770 4959www.secombetheatre.co.uk• Music: The Hysterical Injury +DOORS: 8pm. ADM: £5AGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: The Hysterical Injury + Lilies OnMars + She Makes WarGenre: alternativeVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700BUY ONLINE:http://windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings

Wed 15• See Every Wednesday etc...

Thu 16• Music: Scream Showcase night with: Ornaments plus more tbc(Ambient/Indie-Rock)Presenting a fresh line up of bands andacts, brand new to Scream.Doors 8pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Fri 17• Music: Stranglers Banned + SliderA night of classic punk rock & new wavewith a Stranglers tribute band and asupport act playing classic from The Clash,Buzzcocks, Damned, Stooges, Ramones,Pistols etc. Doors 8pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: Statin QuoLive music at The Farmers. 9.30pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

• Dance: Giselle - Russian StateBallet of Siberia The most poignant of all classical ballets,Giselle combines powerful emotions andvisual splendour in a tale of love, treacheryand forgiveness from beyond the grave.7.30pm. £15 - £30 (+bkg fee). More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Sat 18• Music: Bleed To This presentsAuger Bane, Profane & The Sacred, DeadExistence (Metal/Stoner Rock)Doors 8pm. £4 EntryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: We GhostsLive music at The Oval. 8pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: Maddi BlackLive music at The Farmers. 9.45pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Theatre: Theatre For Kidz Tales From The Washing Line (recycling isfun!). 11am. Suitable for ages 3 and up.£5 children £6.50 grown-upsWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road,Croydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Dance: Swan Lake - RussianState Ballet of Siberia The greatest romantic ballet of them all.2.30pm and 7.30pm. £15 - £30 (+bkg fee). More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Party: Dead Rock Stars FancyDress PartyFrom 8pm. The Ship, 47 High Street,Croydon, CR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.ukwww.shippub.co.uk

Sun 19• Music: BRANDON ALLENQUARTET single this player out - Jazz News Live jazz every Sunday 1pm-3pm. Upstairs.FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.jazznet.co.uk

What’s On - Daily Guide:

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• Music: Papa George & Alan GlenLive music at The Oval. 5.30pm.FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: Stuart Foster & SingersNight 8pm. £2. More info fromwww.folkandblues.org Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon CR0 1BDwww.folkandblues.org• Music: Scream UnpluggedAcoustic & Open mic night, withJack & Dom, Tom Higgins, Urb Scrunting,Will Cattermole, Georgia Thursting,Ashleigh Blackwood & open mic slotsavailable on the night. Starts 7pmFree entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: Big Joe Louis and theBlues KingsTickets £8, Doors 7pm, Performance 8pm(2 sets, approx finish 10.30pm, in the backroom). For more info or to book tickets viawww.hideawaylive.co.uk or phone thevenue on 0208 835 7070.Speakeasy at Hideaway, 2 Empire Mews,Stanthorpe Road, London SW16 2ED• Music: Magic – A Kind of QueenThe Churchill Theatre, High StreetBromley, Kent BR1 1HA0844 871 7627. www.atgtickets.com

Mon 20• Awareness Event: EatingDisorders Awareness Week20th-26th Feb. www.b-eat.co.uk• Food Event: National Chip Week20th-26th Feb. Hurrah! I’m assuming it’s amere coincidence that this week and theone above run concurrently...www.chips.lovepotatoes.co.uk• Event: Collop MondayNamed after the traditional dish of the day,consisting of slices of leftover meat (collopsof bacon) along with eggs. Traditionallyeaten for breakfast it’s part of thetraditional Lenten preparations. In additionto providing a little meat, the collops werealso the source of the fat for the followingday's pancakes. The word collop, here, istaken to mean a small piece of bacon. Ingeneral it is used to refer to a small pieceof meat. In Cornwall, it is called NickananNight or Peasen Monday (pea soup isserved instead of meat). So basically, whatwe’re saying is, have a fry up forbreakfast...

• Film: My Beautiful Laundrette(15) Part of the LGBT festival. 2.30pm. £5. More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Film: Priscilla, Queen of theDesert (15) Part of the LGBT festival. 7pm. £5. More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Music: Singers & Musicians night£3 No need to book, just turn up.Croydon Folk Club - Join us for first classfolk and real ale at club prices! ContactJenny or Brian on 020 8660 5919 or 07703210 795 Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House, 23Coombe Road, Croydon CR0 1BDwww.croydonfolkclub.org.uk• Theatre / Circus: Chinese StateCircusMon 20 – Wed 22 FebA unique extravaganza featuringtraditional Chinese acts, suitable for thewhole family.The Churchill Theatre, High StreetBromley, Kent BR1 1HA0844 871 7627. www.atgtickets.com

• Music: Boredom + moreDOORS: 7pm (first band just before 8pm)ADM: £4 before 8pm; £5 afterAGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: BOREDOM (Austria) +Pettybone + Lich + Momentum + MoatGenre: D-Beat, hardcoreVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700

Tue 21• Event: Shrove TuesdayPANCAKES!• Music: Freedom of Expression The very best in acoustic music, poetry,comedy and magic from around Londonand further afield with Fit and theConniptions, Joe Jury, Dan Mulcahy, WeirdSleeping Kittens. Upstairs, 8pm, FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.freedomexpression.co.uk• Event: Pancake Race The annual inter-pub up-and-down-Surrey-Street Pancake races. Pop into TheDragon for details. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Nicholas McCarthy Lunchtime classical concert. Born without aright hand, Nicholas is one of just a fewleft-handed pianists worldwide. 1.05pm. £5. More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Wed 22• Event: World Thinking DayPrimarily aimed at Girl Guides and GirlScouts, but I find that sometimes a smoke,a drink and a ponder can work wonders...www.worldthinkingday.org• Theatre: Lysistrata 22nd - 24th Feb.A classical Greek Comedy which is one ofthe 11 surviving plays by Aristophanes.£14. Various times - More info on thewebsite.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk

What’s On - Daily Guide:• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Mon 20th Feb. Come and join us everyMonday!Tonight: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: In thebleak days of the Cold War, espionageveteran George Smiley is forced from

semi-retirement to uncover a Sovietagent within MI6's echelons. Nominatedfor 11 BAFTA awards, including BestActor for Gary Oldman. 8pm FREE ENTRY!The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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Thu 23• Music: Scream Showcase nightwith: The Jetsonics, Stop Press plus moretbc (Ska/Indie/Rock)Presenting a fresh line up of bands andacts, brand new to Scream.Doors 8pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Fri 24• Charity Event: National Wear RedDayIn aid of The British Heart Foundation.www.bhf.org.uk• Awareness Event: Work YourProper Hours DayOver five million people at work in the UKregularly do unpaid overtime. This is oneday in the year to make the most of yourown time. Take a proper lunchbreak andleave work on time to enjoy your Fridayevening - You deserve it! .www.worksmart.org.uk/workyourproperhoursday• Event: Kissing DayFriday of Shrove Week, English schoolboyswere once entitled to kiss girls without fearof punishment or rejection, a custom thatlasted until at least the 1940s. In Sileby,Leicestershire, Kissing Friday was calledNippy Hug Day. There men could demanda kiss from the woman of their choice, butif their petition was denied, they had theright to 'louse', or pinch, the woman'sposterior. Not something we’d recommendunless you fancy a conviction for sexualassault...• Eco: 2nd Annual Seed SwapEcoLocal's Local Food Network inPartnership with the Surrey OrganicGardening Group present: The SecondAnnual Seed Swap. Bring along yoursurplus seeds and swap them for seeds youneed. On offer we will have:* a range of vegetable seeds* unusual varieties* seed potatoes* refreshments* a short film on PermacultureThis year's unusual seed varieties includeLong Prickly cucumbers, Blue Kiri Kabochasquash, Walking-stick cabbages and more.Unusual potato varieties on offer includeRed Duke of York, Salad Blue and YetholmGypsy. But be warned, unusual varietiesare very popular and will go fast! "SoggFrog" seed swapping vouchers will also beavailable to buy on the night (50p each),for those of you short on seeds. All arewelcome. From 7.30pm. FREE!Milton Hall, Cooper Crescent, Carshalton,

SM5 2DL. food@ecolocal.org.uk020 8770 6611To find out more visit our websitewww.localfoodnetwork.org.ukor join us on Facebook!• Music: Big Sister's Freaky FridaypresentsCane Hill Drive Thru, The Jonbarr Hinge plus more tbc. A night of genuinealternative and eclectic acts, showcasingbest in leftfield music from Croydon andbeyond. Doors 8pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Film: The Help (12A) 6.30pm. £5. More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Sat 25• Music: Mike Panos’ Blues BandLive music at The Oval. 8pm.FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 OvalRoad, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: UPLOADEDTop class pop & rock covers. On stage10.30pm + The Edge nightclub till 4am.*Free adm b4 10pm* £6 afterThe Norbury & Edge 1300 London RoadNorbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Music: Rocket From CroydoniapresentsThe Devil Wrays, Adios Pantalones, SteveAnd The Raise & Dj Johnny SpazzCroydon's only psychobilly night!!Doors 7pm. £5 entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: Saviour ManagementpresentsFall Against Fate, In Ruins, Black Shapes,The Last Legion, Ursa Major, DoomedFrom Day One (Metalcore)Doors 7pm. £5 EntryAges 16+ WelcomeScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Music: The Mod All Star Band Mod anthems featuriing vocalists ChrisFarlowe, Steve Ellis and Lorraine Silver.8pm. £17.50-£22.50 (+bkg fee). Moreinfo on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Kids: Fireman Sam Back by popular demand with his liveshow ‘Pontypandy Rocks!’. 1pm & 3.30pm. Kids £10, adults £12.50

(+bkg fee). More info on the website.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Sun 26• Music: DAVE BLACK QUARTET This man stands tall among sax playersJazz News Live jazz every Sunday 1pm-3pm. Upstairs.FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.jazznet.co.uk• Music: Juicy LucyLive music at The Oval. 5.30pm.FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 OvalRoad, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: Ron Trueman Border &Singers Night 8pm. £2. More info fromwww.folkandblues.org Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon CR0 1BDwww.folkandblues.org• Music: Kenny Ball,Chris Barber &Acker Bilk and their Bands A rare opportunity to see some jazzlegends. 7pm. £25.50 (+bkg fee). Moreinfo on the website. Fairfield Halls, ParkLane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office 0208688 9291 or book online atwww.fairfield.co.uk• Music: Scream Unpluggedpresents: Johnny Cash NightAnother themed acoustic session, thismonth featuring local band and artistsexclusively playing the songs and music ofJohnny Cash, plus contemporary SunStudios & 50s artists. Line up tbc. Starts7pm. FREE ENTRY. Scream Lounge, 20South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 0208667 0155. lounge@screamstudios.co.uk• Comedy: Phil Cool Blimey, there’s a blast from the past...7.45pm. £16 (+bkg fee). More info on thewebsite.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Music: The Drifters in ConcertThe Churchill Theatre, High StreetBromley, Kent BR1 1HA0844 871 7627. www.atgtickets.com• Festival: MaslenitsaA free event based on the Russian springfestival, featuring Russian music, dance,theatre and food/drink. In 2012 it will takeplace in Trafalgar Square, from 1-7pm.See: www.maslenitsa.co.uk

What’s On - Daily Guide:

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Mon 27• Food Event: Fairtrade Fortnight27th Feb - 11th March.www.fairtrade.org.uk • Charity Event: Time For a CuppaDayIs about bringing people together acrossthe country to hold an event either athome, in the workplace or in thecommunity to help raise much neededfunds to support the work of DementiaUK. www.timeforacuppa.orgwww.dementiauk.org • Music: Askew sisters www.askewsisters.co.ukDoors: 8.00pmNon Members: £8.00 Members: £6.00Croydon Folk Club - Join us for first classfolk and real ale at club prices! ContactJenny or Brian on 020 8660 5919 or 07703210 795 Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House, 23Coombe Road, Croydon CR0 1BDwww.croydonfolkclub.org.uk• Music: The Rat Pack – Live fromLas VegasMon 27 Feb – Sat 3 MarBe prepared to be brought back to theglamorous, glitzy nights of Las Vegas inthe late 50s and early 60s, with classic hitsfrom The Rat Pack.The Churchill Theatre, High StreetBromley, Kent BR1 1HA0844 871 7627. www.atgtickets.com

• Music: Authorities + Wonk Unit +It’s Not OKDOORS: 8pm. ADM: £5AGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: Authorities (USA) + Wonk Unit +It’s Not OK. Genre: punk rockVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700BUY ONLINE:www.windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings

Tue 28• Music: DON WELLER & JOHNHORLER QUARTET Lunchtime jazz - 1pm-3pm. FREE!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.jazznet.co.uk• Music: Freedom of Expression The very best in acoustic music, poetry,comedy and magic from around Londonand further afield with Stew Simpson andopen mic. Upstairs, 8pm, FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpubwww.freedomexpression.co.uk• Theatre: Less Than Kind byTerence Rattigan 28th & 3rd March. No further info at timeof going to print. 7.45pm. £18 (+bkg fee).More info on the website nearer the time.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Wed 29• Event: Leap DayAn extra day at work for everyone toenjoy. Hurrah! • Awareness Event: Rare DiseaseDaywww.rarediseaseday.org • Theatre: Glitterballs29 Feb - 3 March.Exit Theatre Company presentGLITTERBALLS by David TrotterGlitterballs Showbar is set to have oneunforgettable night, as owner Brendanbooks world famous drag artiste ‘KandyKicks’ to perform at his sell out Saturdaynight performance. However, the eveningturns from glitter and glitz to chaos andmayhem, as performer Sidney Sucklesbegins her mysterious mission of murderbackstage. Who will survive, what is thekiller’s motive, and who is the secretaccomplice? 8pm £12/£8 concs

Suitable for: 16+Charles Cryer Studio Theatre, 39 HighStreet, Carshalton, 020 8770 4959www.secombetheatre.co.uk• Circus: Moscow State Circus -Babushkin Sekret Its latest and most spectacular show basedon the legend of the 12 chairs. 5 & 8pm.£12 - £30 (+bkg fee). More info on thewebsite nearer the time.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.uk• Music: Leap Night 2012DOORS: 8pm. ADM: £4adv/£5 doorAGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: The Winchester Club + Clorinde+ tbcGenre: post-rock/avant-folk/instrumentalVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700BUY ONLINE:www.windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings

Coming Up In March:• Event: St David’s Day Thursday 1st March• Charity / Music: Robstock 2012Saturday 10th March. A day of top notchlive music at Scream in aid of The RoyalMarsden.• Sport: Cheltenham Festival13th-16th March. 4 days of quality jumpshorse racing. Hurrah!• Event: St Patrick’s DaySaturday 17th March• Event: Mothers’ Day Sunday 18th March• Event: Spring Equinox Tuesday 20th March• Charity / Sport: Sport Relief23rd-25th March• Event: British SummertimeBeginsSunday 25th March - clocks go forward.

Got Something Going On? Are your events correct?We’re not psychic, you

have to let us know to getyour event listings in here -

for FREE! e-mail:

hello@deep-london.co.ukangela@deep-london.co.uk

mik@deep-london.co.uk

What’s On - Daily Guide:

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• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Mon 27th Feb. Come and join us everyMonday!Tonight: DRIVE: A Hollywood stuntperformer who moonlights as awheelman discovers that a contract has

been put on him after a heist gonewrong. Sometimes shocking, other timestender. Nominated for numerous awardsand winner of the 2011 Cannes FilmFestival best director. 8pm FREE ENTRY!The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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RUGBY LEAGUE:• The Six Nations:Sat 4th - 14:30 - France v ItalySat 4th - 17:00 - Scotland v EnglandSun 5th - 15:00 - Ireland v WalesSat 11th - 16:00 - Italy v England Sat 11th - 20:00 - France v IrelandSun 12th - 15:00 - Wales v ScotlandSat 25th - 13:30 - Ireland v ItalySat 25th - 16:00 - England v WalesSun 26th - 15:00 - Scotland v FranceNext matches 10th March onwards...More info and tickets from:www.rbs6nations.com

FOOTBALL:• Internationals:Wed 29 - time tbc - England v NetherlandsWed 29 - time tbc - Northern Ireland vNorwayWed 29 - time tbc - Slovenia v ScotlandWed 29 - time tbc - Wales v Costa Rica -Gary Speed Memorial Match• Crystal Palace:Sat 4 - 15:00 - A - Middlesbrough - FLC Sat 11 - 15:00 - H - Doncaster - FLC Tue 14 - 19:45 - A - Bristol City - FLC Sat 18 - 15:00 - H - Watford - FLC Sat 25 - 15:00 - A - West Ham Utd - FLC Selhurst Park, Whitehorse Lane, LondonSE25 6PU. Tickets and more info fromwww.cpfc.co.uk. Box Office: 08712 000071 Disabled ticket enquiries : 020 8768 6080(Pam Groves)• Croydon FC:04/02/2012 - 15:00 - A - Egham Town11/02/2012 - 15:00 - H - Horley Town18/02/2012 - 15:00 - H - Colliers Wood 25/02/2012 - 15:00 - A - Windsor CROYDON FC ARENA, Albert Road,South Norwood, SE25 4QL.0208 654 8555. www.croydon-fc.co.ukNearest tram stop is Arena

CRICKET:• England:03/02/12 - Third Test Match - Pakistan vEngland - Dubai - 06:00 13/02/12 - First One Day International -Pakistan v England - Abu Dhabi - 11:00 15/02/12 - Second One Day International- Pakistan v England - Abu Dhabi - 11:00 18/02/12 - Third One Day International -Pakistan v England - Dubai - 11:00 21/02/12 - Fourth One Day International - Pakistan v England - Dubai - 11:00 23/02/12 - International Twenty20 Series -Pakistan v England - Dubai - 14:0025/02/12 - International Twenty20 Series -Pakistan v England - Dubai - 14:0027/02/12 - International Twenty20 Series -Pakistan v England - Abu Dhabi - 14:00

ATHLETICS:18/02/12 - IAAF World Indoor Meetings:AVIVA Grand Prix, Birmingham, England.More info / tickets:www.uka.org.uk/aviva-series/home

HORSE RACING:• Ascot RacesDirect Train from Clapham Junction.Sat 18th Feb - Afternoon Jumps Turf -Betfair Ascot Chase DayMore info / tix: www.ascot.co.ukOr call 0870 727 1234. Ascot Racecourse,Ascot, Berkshire, SL5 7JX• Fontwell RacesDirect Train from East Croydon toBarnham, £2 return shuttle bus to course.Sun 5th Feb - Afternoon Jumps Turf - HelpFor Heroes Race DaySun 26th Feb - Afternoon Jumps Turf -Meet The Horse Day - The big race is theNational Spirit Hurdle, a recognised trial forchampionship races at the Cheltenham andAintree Festivals. This fixture will also becelebrating the racehorse withopportunities to 'Meet The Racehorse',farrier demonstrations and the chance toride on a horse equisizer. Plus, Topthornand Captain Nicholls from the NationalTheatre’s Warhorse production will beparading before racing and throughout theday. More info / tix: www.fontwellpark.co.ukor call 01243 543335. Fontwell Park Racecourse, Fontwell, WestSussex, BN18 0SX• Kempton Park RacesDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards to course.1st, 8th, 15th, 16th, 22nd, 23rd, 29th Feb- Twilight Flat All Weather 10th Feb - Afternoon Jumps Turf 25th Feb - Afternoon Jumps Turf - RacingPost ChaseMore info / tix: www.kempton.co.uk orcall 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQ• Lingfield RacesDirect Train from E. Croydon + 5 min walk.3rd, 4th, 11th, 15th, 17th, 18th, 22nd,24th, 25th, 28th Feb - Afternoon Flat AllWeather8th, 23rd Dec - Afternoon Jumps Turf More info / tix: lingfield-racecourse.co.uk.Or call 01342 834800. Lingfield Park, Racecourse Road, Lingfield, Surrey, RH7 6PQ• Plumpton RacesDirect Train from E. Croydon + 5 min walk 13th Feb: Afternoon Jumps Turf More info / tix: plumptonracecourse.co.ukor call 01273 890383.

Plumpton Racecourse, Plumpton, EastSussex, BN7 3AL• Sandown RacesDirect Train from Clapham Junction toEsher. Free minibus shuttle to the course.4th, 17th, 24th Feb - Afternoon JumpsTurfMore info / tix: www.sandown.co.uk or call 01372 46 43 48. Sandown Park, Portsmouth Road, Esher,Surrey. KT10 9AJGREYHOUND RACING:• Wimbledon GreyhoundsTram to Wimbledon, then bus 493 stopsright outside stadium, else it’s a about a 10min walk. Every Friday evening, opens 6.30pm, firstrace 7.30pm, last race around 10.30pm.Every Saturday evening, opens 6.30pm,first race 7.30pm, last race around10.30pm.General Admission PricesAdults: Friday £6.00 and Saturday £6.00(including racecard)Children 12 - 17: £3.50 (no race card)Children under 11: Free (no race card)Please note: Push chairs or Buggies are notpermitted in the stadiumAll Restaurant customers must pre-bookeither on line or by calling 0870 840 8905. More info / admission deals / tix:www.lovethedogs.co.uk/wimbledonOr call 0870 840 8905. WimbledonGreyhound Stadium, Plough LaneWimbledon, SW17 OBL• Brighton & Hove GreyhoundsDirect train to Hove, 5min taxi to track. Ordirect train to Brighton, 10min taxi. Every Wednesday afternoon - FREE entry!Opens 1pm, 1st race 2.08pm, last race 6.11pmEvery Thursday evening - £5 entryOpens 6pm, 1st race 7.30 pm, last race 10.30pm.Every Friday morning - FREE entry!Opens 10.30am, 1st race 11.11am, last race 1.58pm.Every Saturday evening - £6 entryOpens 6.30 pm, 1st race 7.30 pm, last race 10.30 pmEvery Sunday morning - FREE! entryOpens 11.00am, 1st race 11.28 am,last race 2.12 pm.Children Under 16 free all the time.More info / restaurant reservations / tix:brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.ukOr call 01273 204 601. Coral Brighton &Hove Greyhound Stadium, Nevill Road,Hove, East Sussex, BN3 7BZ

AMERICAN FOOTBALL:• Super Bowl XLVI:05/02/12 - Live on BBC TV from 11pm ish

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February Sport: All fixtures are in UK time.

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(1) The Deep Towers Christmas Tree (nee chilli plant); (2) Nat’s fantastic industrial strength home-made egg nog - cheers!; (3)Mik enjoying his work laying under some burlesque ladies taking pictures with his little legs poking out...; (4) Number 1 in ouroccasional series ‘things you don’t expect to find smack bang outside your front door when you open it in the morning’; (5)Carol singing in The Two Brewers; (6) Number 2 in our occasional series ‘things you don’t expect to find smack bang outsideyour front door when you open it in the morning’ (7) Carol singing at The Glamorgan (8) Homebrood at said carol singing

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