defense essay revision

7/30/2019 Defense Essay Revision

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photography, clothes, acting, and scenery. This wasn’t entirely on purpose. Most of what is

going on in the picture stemmed from me creating a centric theme or message to convey, and

using just clothes was too hard. The message I am trying to sendsending isn’t shown solely by

looking at a single aspect of the picture. There are many things to consider. Facial expression,

body language, and what I’m holding are all things to consider. This project has evolved much

past what I had initially set out to do. This isn’t just about clothes anymore.

Clothes have been a recent discovery to me, but now I am very judgmental when it comes

to how a person dresses. A lot can be predicted simply by looking at the way a person dresses. If

someone wears gym shorts and a t-shirt to class, then one may assume either this person didn’t

have enough time to change or this person has poor sense of fashion. Everyone judges and

assumes based on how a person dresses. If you walk into a Wal-Mart wearing a blue polo and

chinos, then you will probably be approached by many customers with questions. This is because

people associate your outfit with someone who works at Wal-Mart. Everyone does this. Walking

into a Wal-Mart with a blue polo and chinos is an easy way to sample this. This is a good

example of how much meaning your choice of wardrobe can carry.

You can find meaning behind almost anything in a person’s choice of wardrobe.

Choosing a leather strap on a watch rather than a metal one is an easy way to dress down a suit.

Letting your dress shoes break in and have some wear to them gives them a more vintage vibe,

while keeping them shiny makes them more suitable to wear during a press conference. Wearing

a three button suit is a more old fashioned style, and wearing a single button suit in a slim fit is

considered modern. The smallest details in fashion can completely change the meaning an article

of clothing carries. If being overly critical in peoples clothing choices has taught me anything in

literature it would be to pay attention to even the most minute detail. I feel beingBeing overly

Comment [PL6]: Tone change.

Comment [PL7]: Tone Change

Comment [PL8]: This isn’t one of my

but I had a problem with this section. I m

claim, but fail to elaborate and explain th

importance of it.

Comment [PL9]: Transition

Comment [PL10]: Tone change



critical in the way I dress has helped me realize what meaning I am trying to send with the words

I am using and the sentence structure I have applied.

The series of pictures that make up my project are meant to be chronological. They

represent what form of writing I mostly partook in, and what influenced my writing. Each of

them follows a general theme.

Like any abstract piece of art meant to convey a message, being overly critical and really

reading into meaning is exactly what must be done if you really want to hear the message that

my pictures are sending. Everything must be considered. Not just the clothes like how I

previously intended. Facial expression, camera angle, lighting, and background are things you

must look at to name a few. The first picture is a good way of sampling a picture that needs to be

critically analyzed if you want to understand it.

The first picture I took is supposed to show my immaturity and fear of writing. I am

dressed in nothing but a green blanket. My hair is messy, I am alone. I am armed with a

composition notebook. The vantage point of the camera is looking down on me. The lighting is

done with a lousy flash. These all are attempts to convey the centric theme that I am immature

and afraid. The composition notebook represents the only outlet I had for writing at the time:

elementary school daily journals. I had an odd experience in elementary school. My teachers

thought I had a learning deficiency when it came to writing. I would barely write anything in my

journal when told to, and when I did it usually pertained to how I didn’t feel like writing.

Nearing the end of the year, my teachers were thinking about holding me back a year. It was at

this time I finally decided to write. I filled up my notebook with words and my teachers passed

me. This entire experience was most probably a negative for me. I have had the preconceived

Comment [PL11]: Worthless awkwa

paragraph

Comment [PL12]: Better paragraph t

introduces how you are supposed to rea

project.





notion that I was a lousy writer for as long as I can remember. Most likely tThis is where it

comes from. In the picture I am literally clinging to the composition notebook though. If this

object represents such a bad experience for me, then why cling to it? Though elementary school

was a generally negative writing experience for me, it was also my only writing experience. It

was all I had. While the notebook represents my lack of ability to put pen to paper it is also the

only reminder I have that I can write. The downward angle and flash are used in tandem to

portray the message of how small weak and ignorant I was at this stage. Having a downward

angle on anything is a technique often used in film to mitigate the size of something. Also it

literally makes it so that the viewer is literally looking down on the subject. Looking down on

something generally carries the conception that the subject is in a lesser position than you. The

flash was mostly used to portray plain stupidity. The effect the flash casts on the subject is

something I would relate to an animal. The empty white eyes are characteristic of taking a

picture of a beast in nature. And as everyone knows, beasts aren’t the most intelligent. This is an

attempt to shows I was a bit lower than average when it comes to writing. The green blanket is

honestly there just to make myself not naked. If I had absolutely no shame, then I might have

taken this in the nude. I wanted to show how I was almost an empty palate, and that I could still

grow into something. I was still young.

Unlike the first picture, the second picture has me equipped with more clothes.The

second picture has me dressed semi-formally while falling asleep on the toilet with a laptop in

my lap. The formal wear is done to show what type of writing I did at this stage in my life. That

being the five paragraph essay. Past simply my outfit being formal, my outfit is also poorly put

together. My collar isn’t straight, my shirt isn’t buttoned up properly, my tie is poorly tied, and

my socks don’t match. The way I dress here is supposed to show shows that I try to be formal,








writing. The theme I try to send across in this picture is creative and informal. My style of

writing was also influenced by a particular band. That band being modest mouse. I learned how

to put twists on words and double meanings. Many of my works during this time period

integrated many of their concepts. This was also where I learned that good writing holds

meaning. Be it the meaning of life, or what I had for lunch last night. I learned from modest

mouse that good writing is used to send a message. Looking back at my writing from this time

period, it was clear I grew in that my writing tried to convey a lasting message or impression on

the viewer or reader. Even though the second and third pictures are meant to be different on

almost every level, the fourth picture combines elements from both iterations.

The fourth picture is a culmination of my past selves. It depicts me wearing casual yet

semi-formal attire. I’m holding a red party cup while standing next to a carton of minute maid

juice. I am actually wearing the same button down and sweater from two of my other pictures.

This is not simply because I have a lack of clothes to work with (though that is part of it). It

shows how I have taken parts of my literacy history, and created a new entity. In this stage of

writing I found myself writing more formal texts. The fact that I loathe formula writing also

shines through. I try to incorporate as much personality as I can into my writing. This personality

and sense of humor I feel comes from my creative stage as seen from picture three. Literally my

outfit is a combination of my formal clothes and creative clothes. My writing during this stage

reflects that. The red party cup and minute maid are mostly there to try and set tone for the

picture. The tone being sarcastic. You would expect a party cup to be full of an alcoholic drink,

but this one is full of a much more innocent substance. This picture is supposed to also be very

different from my first picture. It is supposed to show how much I have matured and grown over

the years.



Comment [PL24]: Transition.



After doing this project I found that the genre I chose is only really limited by the author.

I could have done so much more if I had invested more time in this project. Anything abstract

can be read into much more, so the genre I chose is practically flawless when it comes to sending

a message about emotion and tone. Which are two things I hope my history is full of.

My literacy Narrative was made to show my growth as a writer. I started off as a writer

who was very inexperienced, and didn’t have much hope for his career as a writer. Because of

my father, and the fact that I condemned writing to be a subject that is based off of my teachers

opinions I grew into a strictly formula based writer, and not a good one at that. After joining

theatre and writing my own plays, I started to see how writing can have a creative element as

well. Recently I have been doing much more formal writings, and my work shows my past. I can

stick to a flow of logic, but I still retain my unique tone in my writing. My current day writing

was shaped by my many literacy sponsors. I can only hope my future will be full of more happy

small narratives

Comment [PL25]: Poor awkward att

conclusion. Doesn’t really count

Comment [PL26]: This is my NEW an

IMPROVED conclusion. It is better than m

conclusion because it exists.

defense essay revision

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