demon among us - memberfiles.freewebs.com · web viewi can vaguely make out the badly pronounced...

www.thefifteenthfail.webs.comDemon Among Us

Prologue

Cold. Empty. For the “memory” is just like what it remembers.

Cold, hard stone.

Just look at it. A sweet angel wearing a shroud of pure feathery wings. The white marble statue is beautiful. But if you reach out, you feel how cold it is.

And then, inscribed in little letters at the foot of the captivating statue is what really links it to the memory. To her.

It’s not really a memory, of course. It can’t be a memory when there is nothing to be remembered.

Angel. How ironic.

She was. To everyone else. But her heart was hard and cold, just like that of this statue. In fact, this statue doesn’t even have a heart. Interesting.

If I reach out...

How can I feel it conducting the warmth away from my body, how can I feel it take away all my strength as I look at it, how can I sense it stealing everything from me?

She isn’t really there. She wouldn’t be even if this was the truth. Some things can never be retrived.

Like ashes. They scattered them on the ground beside this commemorative statue.

A beautiful concept. Only they weren’t really her ashes. Just burnt up junk.

Burnt up junk, mixed with what it would be almost sacrilege to refer to as “junk”, for angels are to be praised, whatever happens to them.

It’s sacrilege enough for this. The purity is gone now.

And those ashes are scattered over the grass by the two statues, the disguised demon and the true angel, right next to it. New grass will bloom from them. Beautiful white flowers will spring up from the ground.

They probably won’t. But the idea is much too fitting, much too fanciful to discount.

How can I go on?

But I know I must. I must continue. I must continue to restore the balance that we once had. Demon and angel. The angel is gone now. So there is only one thing left to do.

I don’t know how I’m going to accomplish my task yet. But I will.

Yes. I will.

Whatever it takes.


Part One- OvertureYou fled from medication ‘cause it only causes pain

You won’t go to the doctor who keeps calling you insane

You’re lost even when you’re going the right way

You mean the world to me- even though you might be crazy

-Trainwreck, Demi Lovato


Guardian Angel

‘Hey! Don’t grab me like that!’

‘And- mmph- don’t...storm off like this! Oh, and would you stop hitting me! Snap out of it!’

‘Out of what exactly?’

‘I don’t know...whatever type of insanity you’re in!’

‘So now you think I’m crazy, do you?’

‘Yes! You know why? Because you’re acting like a total idiot. I was there. It was a joke!’

‘I don’t care! It wasn’t nice!’

‘Yes, but you have to admit, it was kinda funny- wait! I didn’t mean...I’m sorry...’

With the streetlight broken, it was too dark, and when I blinked my eyes open, I couldn’t see her anymore. I chased after shadows, stumbling, but none of them were hers.

“Storm off.” Yeah. Storm was the perfect way to describe her. Volatile, lashing out, unpredictable, apathetic towards the effects she had. Then what was I going to do? There was no way I could have avoided it by that point. She had the tickets and- everything.

‘Kim? I’m...I’m really sorry...?’

After a while, I gave in, closed my eyes in pain and fell onto the first bench I found.

‘Um...may I say something? Well, I sort of think you should get up. It’s cold...’

‘You came back!’ I exclaimed stupidly, hope obscuring sense.

False hope. It was not Kim. It was light. Not light. A stranger. But it was light. Strange light.

Both. Before me stood a stranger shrouded in light.

I closed my eyes again, hunching up and grabbing my knees tightly.

‘I’m sorry! I’m not...did I scare you! I’m sorry!’

A stranger shrouded in light. It wasn’t. It was not with light, but with something more. Maybe she was my age. But I couldn’t tell since she didn’t seem...

Her hair was between silver and light-blonde, a mixture of platinum and gold, and her skin was between the same silver, and pure white. She looked beautiful, the image, the epitome of innocence, but at the same time, papery and faded. I didn’t have to squint to see her, even in the dark, but if I did try to focus on her, she faded a little in the gaze, like the paper skin had been stained with the night.

Her clothes, if you could call them clothes, were just a long cloak of thick, pure white, ethereal mist, wrapped around her in a perfect fit, and drifting along gently behind her in a surrounding train.


I didn’t know whether to ask who she is, or what she is. I ended up without any words at all.

‘I think I know where to go,’ she explained, more gently ‘Well...um...I think, anyway. I know the way. Please...’

‘But...K-Kim!’

‘I know she’ll be fine. I can’t tell you how...because I don’t know...’

She walked a few steps, and then I expected her to fade into nothing. But she didn’t. She stopped and reached out a translucent hand.

Although I was certain that this girl was a figment of my imagination, I didn’t care. I just wanted to follow her. So I did.

‘Who are you?’ I finally managed to ask.

‘No, no...’ She repeats it several times smiling ‘I can’t tell you...because I don’t know....’ she finally concluded.

‘You...don’t?’

‘Do you know?’ the girl pressed.

‘Well...no...’ I didn’t know what to say to someone like this. Thankfully it’s not something I have to deal with often.

‘Pity. So why did you sound surprised when I said I didn’t know?’

‘Because...uh...’

‘Nope! Who are you? Do you know?’

‘Yes. Of c...I mean, I’m Adara.’

‘What are you?’

‘Huh? What do you even mean?’

‘A human, right? I think that would be fun...I think...thinking about it gives me a headache. Complicated, complicated, complicated-’

‘And...what are you exactly? You know...don’t you?’

‘Oh, I’m really lucky, ‘cause I know that. I think. I think I’m an angel...’

That was where I think I started to go insane.

The Burden of Memory


‘Hello?’ Kim drawls rudely, waving a (too) brightly manicured hand in my face, and tossing her straightened, unnaturally bright blonde hair. Now, I’m no Goth, but it almost hurts to look at the vivid colours. Those nails particularly distract me from everything, like little daggers carved from a particularly sharp rainbow.

‘Shut up.’

Oops. It’s official. That particular misplaced train of thought is about to run me over and mince me up into little pieces. And the driver? This girl. You know, the one over there who’s about to explode.

‘What?!’ she screeches, curling her hands into fists and sticking her chin out furiously. I wince.

‘I-I’m sorry...I was just thinking about something...’ Kim calms.

‘Going through a tough time at the moment?’ she asks, surprisingly, no, shockingly, considerate.

Is she actually taking an interest in my feelings?

Is Kim being nice?

‘Well, yes,’ I reply. Kim’s demeanour goes back to normal, for her, annoyed and self-pitying for everyone else.

‘Big deal,’ she says ‘My problems are like, way worse.’

Yeah. That’s all she knows.

But Kim’s like that. She thinks her life, which by the way, I don’t even think there’s really anything wrong with, is worse than anybody else’s.

She thinks the starving people on all those charity appeals should sympathise with her.

The sad thing is, I’m not even joking. I asked her. Not in those exact words, but still.

I let it go.

‘So, have we got everything we need now?’ I ask. Kim snorts.

‘No,’ she answers bluntly ‘I still need a new handbag, sunglasses, clothes-‘

‘We’ve been in clothes shops non-stop for two hours!’She looks at me pityingly.

‘Yes, but they were all icky.’

It’s times like this when I’m tempted to feign heatstroke. I’d hardly need to act. It’s boiling, and it’s England. How am I even meant to survive a week of Spain?

‘Your face has gone all red and horrible,’ Kim comments, being the sweet companion that she is.

How am I even meant to survive a week of Kim? A year of Kim.


A lifetime of Kim.

Ooooh.

‘Mm,’ I grunt.

‘Are you sunburnt?’ she asks.

‘No, just really hot,’ I say.

‘I don’t get sunburnt,’ Kim gloats ‘I just tan.’

I glance at the back of her neck.

Shows how much she knows.

‘I had a really weird dream last night,’ I remember.

‘Mm.’ Kim doesn’t even try to feign interest.

‘You were in it,’ I add truthfully, and turn my head to smirk a little. Kim is now as close to interest as I’ll ever get her. I purposefully leave out how she didn’t exactly have a starring (or glamorous) role.

‘What was it?’ she asks.

‘Well, there was apparently an atomic bomb that was going to explode in the town in an hour or so, and that wasn’t going to go down so well,’ I recount, not even sure why I’m bothering. It’s a stupid story, even for a dream. ‘So I was running to get as far away as possible, and I found a building that looked like it would be good shelter. Not that it would help much in real life. My dreams aren’t scientifically-‘

‘Get on with it.’

‘Right. Anyway, you were there, and a few other people, who seemed familiar but I can’t remember who they were exactly. So there was quite a long time waiting, and I was absolutely terrified- in fact, I was still traumatised a little from the worry when I woke up-‘

‘Wuss.’

‘I genuinely believed I was going to die, okay?’ I say defensively ‘And then, well, in short, the bomb went off and we were fine. It wasn’t nearly as much damage as the news...people...predicted.’

‘Even your nightmares are wussy,’ Kim snorts.

‘People still died, though,’ I say. She shrugs.

‘Then what happened?’

‘Um...then it cut to a television screen, showed a video thing of me waking up, and said “This dream has been brought to you by the BBC.”’

My subconscious really does have an awful sense of humour.


‘And?’

‘And that’s it?’

‘I wasn’t even in it!’

‘You were. Kinda...’

‘So why did you bother telling me?’ she snaps.

‘Because it actually taught me a lot, that dream,’ I explain ‘It made me see how insignificant all my other worries are, and showed me how to appreciate being alive. And I think it made me a stronger person. Temporarily. Maybe. A little.’

‘...Yeah, whatever you say.’

Sums up our conversations nicely.

Kim walks into yet another clothing store, unconsciously humming out of tune.

It takes her about half an hour to gather up a great array of admittedly fashionable, yet severely over-priced clothing.

‘What do you think?’ she asks hopefully, forgetting her negative views on my fashion sense. I quickly give my approval, and she seems happy enough.

‘So, shall we go now?’

‘Sure,’ Kim says ‘After I try these on.’ I take another look at the stack of clothes cradled in her arms. And yet another after that.

‘All of them?’ She makes a noise between a “pfft” and a “duh.”

‘Back in a minute!’ she calls walking to the changing rooms, confirming that we have different ideas about what a minute is.

Unable to stand waiting around any longer, I decide to sneak out of the shop for a moment.

I still don’t like going into town with her.

Look. That light’s still broken.

But I don’t blame Kim. Not really. Not now. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, leaving me alone wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that I wasn’t.

Alone.

No. I don’t want to think about it anymore.


My seemingly effortless and endless stomping, trying to drown the memory out, appears to have led me to another, less crowded street, the type that would be pasted down right beside the definition of suburbia. The buildings are so uniform and traditionally perfect that they look computerised, copied and pasted all down the road. Apart from one.

Okay. I suppose the last building is just like the others. Was just like the others.

It’s painted in a mysterious shade of deep purple, with strange, shining silver markings over it. One of the few people walking down the street glares at it furiously.

‘Well, really!’ she hisses to her husband, who grunts, distracted by the bags of shopping he appears to be burdened with, and judging by the floral pattern on them, not by choice.

Before taking a closer look, I check my watch. It turns out I wasn’t walking for as long as I thought. I’ll have plenty of time to get back.

The sign on the building reads “Paranormal Counselling Centre.”

Paranormal.

Paranormal.

That wasn’t paranormal.

It doesn’t matter. Because it’s normal for stuff like that to happen.

Stuff like that.

Every child has them. Imaginary friends, I mean.

Child? You’re fourteen. Fifteen in two months.

Now I am. Then, I was twelve.

Oh, real big difference.

Shut up. Stay out of it for once.

I can only keep this especially cruel consciousness out for so long. I do try, but I don’t have mental superhuman strength. Occasionally the thing breaks through. And then it’s hard to get rid of-

You’re talking to yourself. Ahahah.

Just shut up.

Nope! That’s not all. It’s not the first time, is it? It’s just like-

Shut.

The.


Hell.

Up.

I consider going in, but dismiss it as declaring insanity.

But if anybody knows why...they’re in there.

Fine. I’ll compromise. I’m going to go in.

Not because I need to. Because I’m curious.

Just curiosity.

There’s no other reason. No real reason.

Nothing else at all.

Unwanted Reality

The battered clock hangs as loosely as the hideous, unmatching wallpaper.

It looks like the waiting room is one place they haven’t got around to eccentrically remodelling yet.


Help. I didn’t think this through. I truly didn’t. These people...this place is like a refuge for the...odd. Let me assure you that that’s the nice way of putting it.

That’s it. I’m leaving. I was only meant to have a quick look anyway. I’ve had a very convenient epiphany. What was I thinking? I can see clearly now my brain has gone. It turns out I could stand waiting around at the shop any day. It’s not as awkward. As for here? I don’t belong here. And I pray to all the supernatural forces ever mentioned in this building that I never wi-

‘So, what’s wrong with you?’

‘Aah!’

I jolt back yet again when I see the face of the speaker.

Even after waiting around here for a short while, I had already drawn a picture in my mind of how I expected the people in here to look.

Middle-aged, badly dyed black hair, probably female, strange clothes- that’s right, all of them. Birds of a feather flock together, as the old, yet wise, cliché goes. Especially if the feather in question is very splotchy from failed tie-dye.

But this guy is my age, or maybe a little older than me- he’s quite tall- and looks almost normal.

Almost.

He seriously needs a haircut. I can hardly see the eyebrow he’s raising after my initial reaction masked beyond his uneven dark hair. To be fair though, it’s pointing straight down, so he must have some concern over his appearance. Even if he doesn’t have the best taste. I wonder what Kim would think of him if she was here (which is never ever going to happen). Actually, she doesn’t have great taste either, when it comes to boys.

I’m not too fussed about them right now. In fact I normally end up wanting to punch them in the face half of the time (would that I could. Actually, thinking about it, quite a lot of girls annoy me too, but that’s not the point). That’s why I’m only thinking about the possibility of finding any scars from excessive combing beyond that fringe.

‘W-What do you mean?’ I ask, quickly checking my reflection in the window as a confirmation ‘There’s nothing wrong with me!’ He raises an eyebrow again in disbelief. I think.

‘I see,’ he says ‘So paranormal counselling is your idea of a fun day out?’ I glance at my watch. I estimate that I still have about ten minutes until Kim gets out of the changing rooms, even more until she realises I’m missing, but I decide hanging around the typical shops for my age, as boring as they may be, is infinitely more preferable then hanging around here, with the one teenager in sight being a relentless interrogator.

‘Look, I’m sorry, but I really need to get back to my friend,’ I tell him, standing up.


‘Hey, I’m not judging you or your hobbies,’ he says quickly ‘My little brother spends most of his free time considering possible changes to foreign legal systems.’ I forget about leaving and just automatically fix my eyes on him. He rolls his eyes out of the stare.

‘Yeah, I know, I know.’

‘And how old is he...?’

‘Don’t worry, it’s not that weird, he’s already seven. Nearly. And he has given us all an impressive insight into the progressions of Japanese law, which can’t be a bad thing. Really helped me in my Geography exam.’

I realise during the distracting conversation I’ve sunk back down into the seat but I’m still distracted, too distracted to care.

‘You think that’s strange, right?’

‘Um,’ I don’t know whether he’ll take offence if I tell the truth.

‘Yeah, so do I,’ he says ‘But, even without those, well, don’t tell him, but pretty cool visual novels he keeps showing me, it’s actually not...not that much, anyway, in proportion.’

‘Um,’ I repeat.

‘Harvey Craig,’ he offers a hand in a businesslike fashion. I try not to look too surprised and shake it awkwardly.

‘Adara Algo.’

‘Do you think I’m normal?’

Startled by the question (I mean, it’s not a common one, is it?) I come up with an unoriginal response, followed by a hasty “yes.”

‘Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,’ he continues ‘It depends. I don’t know what goes on in the minds of other people, so I can’t tell you. But I can tell you that I’m strange. That’s what they’re saying. It wasn’t my experiences that were.’

Woah. I didn’t get any of that, but it sounds fitting in some way.

‘Do you understand?’

‘Hmm, sort of.’

He is the one to stand up this time, putting his hand to his forehead. Or fringe.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ he grunts ‘In a while, you’ll understand. And besides, I don’t believe any of it. Fraudulent.’

‘Who- what is?’


‘All of it, all of them, none of me, none of that...’

The door swings and he’s gone.

Weird.

Before I can contemplate the conversation further than “what the hell was that?”, the opposite door opens and I walk through to another stranger.

And for the first time, I openly recall everything that happened that night.

I’m not sure what kind of response I expected.

There’s just a silence.

The woman in her long deep purple dress looks at me without expression, just blinking slowly.

Again. And again.

My hand clenches up in frustration, tensing more with every blink.

I’m not sure what kind of response I expected. But not the one I get.

She shakes her head slowly.

Then shakes it again.

After what was probably twenty seconds, but felt more like half an hour, I can’t stand it anymore.

‘So...um...’ I try to prompt her, unsure of how to finish, eventually trailing off, thinking that she’ll get the idea.

History repeats itself.

STOP SHAKING YOUR HEAD OR I’LL SHAKE IT OFF.

‘...I don’t know how to tell you this, Ms...’ she suddenly begins, startling me from the sudden break in silence.

‘Tenningway,’ I reply. In a last attempt to mentally deny my visit to a Paranormal Counselling Centre, I had decided to use a pseudonym.

For future reference, Tenningway is Kim’s surname.

‘Ms Tenningway...’ she continues ‘Yes...you seem to have...’

Thousands of stereotypical fortune-teller type conclusions yell out in my mind.

‘Adolescent schizophrenia.’

I what?


‘Mild adolescent schizophrenia,’ she corrects quickly, as if it changes everything.

Now I start blinking without saying anything.

Only very quickly, as if when I open my eyes the scene might change.

Maybe I would have been shocked with whatever I was told. But not as shocked as I was.

Of course I knew it wasn’t real or normal, deep down.

Or did I?

It just seemed so real.

It wasn’t normal.

I can’t accept the fact that it was real. I never could, for so long, I could never do that.

But now I suddenly get the stubborn, unmoving, troublesome feeling that I can’t accept the fact that it wasn’t real.

‘No,’ I say back, surprisingly softly. I repeat it. I keep repeating the single syllable in a familiar way.

The woman opposite me also picks up on this link, confirming her beliefs.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says, but without feeling ‘It’s not as serious as I suppose it seems. You-‘

‘No,’ I cut her off, and then talk in an infuriatingly quiet and trembling voice ‘I thought someone like you...of all people...would understand.’

‘The PCC isn’t one of those- how can I put this- “mumbo-jumbo” type places you see in popular culture,’ she replies calmly ‘We prefer not to encourage obvious hallucinating, and take the best course of-.’

‘It wasn’t a hallucination,’ I insist, interrupting her again ‘You weren’t there! That...she...’

‘”She” is simply a result of your condition, a mere symptom,’ she sighs, looking irritated ‘A compilation of many pages ripped from your minds extensive library, pressed together. Calm down. Worry not. This can be easily treated.’ She picks up the medical form I filled in during my wait, starting to talk about prescriptions, then reaching into a drawer I hadn’t noticed and drawing out a small bottle of pills, still talking.

I push myself up from the chair.

‘I understand that you will feel angry. As to be expected.’

‘You understand,’ I mutter mockingly, walking over to grab my coat. Before I can get to it, she stuffs the bottle into the pocket.


‘Pills should be taken several hours after meals, once a day, preferably around midday,’ she quickly advises me, like a radio advert trying to cram everything into a less costly time limit ‘I would take one as soon as possible.’

I’m beyond caring, and snatch the coat from her hands.

I distract myself from both the past conversation and my journey out of the building by looking at my watch. Even though it’s Kim, I probably don’t have that much time left.

When I look back up, someone’s standing right there, right in my face, screaming at me and scaring the pigeons away from the crumbs from a sausage roll a kind-hearted, now also amused-faced, girl is scattering amongst them.

‘What the...what are you doing here?’

The Beginning’s Finale


‘I mean, seriously, the para-whatsit counselling centre?’ Kim goes on ‘What are you, some kind of freak?’

I’m not sure why I haven’t hit her yet, let alone why I hang around with her. Probably because for the majority of the time, neither of us have anyone else. Sad, isn’t it? Not that we’re outcasts. She latched onto me, and it just ended up that way.

Kim prattles on even more about the PCC, which is, in her words “sooo fake-ish.” The state of this country’s English skills really depresses me sometimes. It was pretty humiliating when the exchange students arrived last year.

I pretend to listen. I only start to pay attention when she notices the pockets of the coat tied around my waist.

‘Hey, that’s-‘

She smartly removes the pills before I can finish my protest and starts a laughing fit within two seconds of reading the label. I can vaguely make out the badly pronounced word "schizophrenia", sounding more like "sniffle-feary-ma" through her laughter , which, being a serious condition, I don’t see anything funny about.

I grab the pills back and point this out to her.

‘No...ha...it’s not...ha...that...’ Kim explains between giggles ‘It’s that they thought you had it! And this stuff can’t be real whatever it’s meant to be...’

‘Why?’

‘My uncle is a psychiatrist,’ she says ‘They couldn’t just give you this without proper tests or anything.’

‘Well, I did fill out a quite detailed medical form,’ I reply ‘And I did tell her a lot, to be honest.’ Kim still doesn’t seem convinced, and now she’s pointed this out, neither am I. The woman hadn’t looked at my records, otherwise she’d have realised I wasn’t being completely honest with her.

It doesn’t seem right that she’d be able to give drugs to anyone off the street.

‘Did you have to pay her?’

‘Yeah, but hardly anything. She even cut down the price by a bit because I needed to buy lunch later.’ I had been hoping for a free consultation, but the small price had surprised me even then.

‘Still, I think that’s what happened,’ Kim concludes ‘She just wanted to convince you that she was doing something useful. My uncle says that’s what all these types of people do.’

‘Oh.’

‘It makes people feel better sometimes. If it’s all in their head. Because they think it’s doing something whether it is or not.’


Thanks a lot for spoiling the effect for me then.

I shake the bottle. Whatever this is, it’s certainly fragile.

‘So this is just squashed in flour or something?’

‘Either that or one hundred percent compressed chalk powder.’

Hmm. Not very well compressed then, is it?

Wait? Did Kim just use the word compressed? And reference percentages? Not only that, but outside of Maths? This isn’t a cyborg, right?

‘Try it! You’ll see I’m right!’ she dares me. That’s more like it. Just going through her uncle’s castaway scripts, then.

I shrug, and unscrew the lid, picking out a pill, which almost crumbles completely under the small pressure.

Wow. That’s pretty bad for chalk.

Even flour gets stuck together sometimes.

Kim looks at it confidently. More confidently than me.

‘What if it is what she said it was?’ I ask, watching the edges turn into powder in the wind, like a very gentle snowfall. It has a hypnotising effect.

‘Then she gave it to you for a reason,’ she smirks ‘It might cure your schizzy-phobia.’

‘Schizophrenia,’ I correct her. Before I get a chance to try to tell her yet again that I don’t have it, Kim reaches out and snatches the container from me again.

‘What are you d-‘ She flicks one of the pills into her mouth. Luckily, there isn’t any dreamy change in her disbelieving expression.

‘Yeah, that’s just floury chalky stuff,’ Kim laughs ‘And...is that sugar? Not bad actually.’ I take the pills back in case she takes any more. Her parents are both overprotective and over-reactive. (But this is obviously equalled in obliviousness, when you hear the sort of things they come out with...and then the sort of things Kim comes out with. Once you get past the original disbelief, it’s extremely funny). Not a good combination for either of us if Kim ends up in hospital, or worse, one of those scare stories they force-feed you in CPSHE.

I’m glad of my decision when she starts to complain that she’s hungry a few minutes later, and out of money- which, looking at her shopping bags, I’m not at all surprised about.

Conveniently, to save me from further pain, there’s a man standing on the other side of the street advertising a low-cost snack bar. Kim very reluctantly agrees, but being a selective eater who firmly links price with quality, only because there isn’t any other option.


The place is surprisingly small, and most of the tables seem to be taken. I hand Kim my remaining money and she practically throws her shopping at me (or as close to a throw as you can get with so many clothes) and demands that I find a table while she orders the food.

Eventually, the Australian couple in the corner leave, hanging onto each other’s arms (romantically, sickeningly, whatever), and I drop the many bags under the table, sighing with relief and rubbing my arms. Looking in the one from the shop we were in last, the one I snuck out of, it’s surprisingly empty. By “The Great Kim Standards.”

Kim comes back with some pasta, and sees my confusion.

‘They only let you try on a stupidly tiny amount of stuff at one time in there,’ she explains ‘And the queue got really long.’ Which is why she finished much earlier than usual, and went looking for me.

Let’s forget that now. The stomach speaks louder than the brain.

Halfway through her pasta, Kim starts yawning repeatedly, causing me to as well.

‘Stop it!’

‘You stop it! You’re making me!’

‘No, that’s you!’

‘I don’t care. I’m tired, and it’s your fault.’

‘It’s...hngh...not.’

Kim cuts off my next sentence by collapsing on the table, eyelids half shut. I poke her shoulder with the handle of my fork.

She groans once and then closes her eyes.

Part Two- Otherworldly


Throw on your break lights

We’re in the city of wonder

Ain’t gon’ play nice

Watch out

You might just go under

Better think twice

Your train of thought will be altered

So if you must falter

Be wise

-Disturbia, Rihanna

The Unknown


The pain.

Although it’s not the burning, stinging type of pain, closer to an ache, it’s enough to go beyond discomfort and become an unmistakable struggle to bear.

Well, I know one thing. I haven’t slept this uncomfortably in a long time.

How did I even get to sleep? I feel like I’ve overslept. That doesn’t seem natural, considering how hard my mattress is. My body’s waking up now, and the feel of the mattress suddenly hits me. In reality it’s even harder than my mind’s description suggested.

In fact...this isn’t my bed! Did I fall out of it last night or something? I’ve always thought that I would have woken up from something like that. Or did I wake up? I don’t remember waking up in the night most of the time.

I’m still in that stage in the morning when, just for a moment, you don’t realise who and where you are, because you haven’t realised you don’t know.

Now that I’m aware of my obliviousness, I know who I am.

Feeling a little worried about the brief conscious memory lapse, I repeat endless personal details to myself.

No, this is regressing into early childhood here. I don’t want that and I don’t need that. What happened? I remember that yesterday was Saturday. So what did I do on Saturday? After breakfast, I went shopping with Kim. And then we had lunch in that new place in town.

Then what did we do in the afternoon?

What did we do in the afternoon? I can’t remember.

I might as well get up now. The floor isn’t comfortable by my standards, but the carpet is surprisingly soft. Cold. But nice. And smooth.

Blur. That’s all I can see. An uninterruptable blur.

Lots of black, a bit of dark green, some white in there...it must still be early. Damn. I’m not going to be able to get back to sleep. Where’s my alarm clock? It’s too dark to see anything.

What’s that noise? Breathing? Is it just me?

No, definitely someone else. Has the dog snuck into my room?

I sit upright suddenly, ignoring my lagging back. I can see better now, but my eyes still haven’t adjusted properly.

This doesn’t look like my room. It’s too big, too dark, and much too cold.

Am I on holiday? I often forget on the first night, and wake up in a panic. This will be sort of funny later. So that must be it.


Where am I? I feel like a complete idiot. I don’t remember. But I definitely didn’t go on holiday. I’m not due to go for that family holiday for at least two weeks...or am I? I was with Kim.

We were going shopping for a couple of so-called summer essentials, in Kim’s case, a handful, no, truckful, of non-essentials, and then catching the bus home.

Only I can’t remember going on the bus.

I remember holding onto the tickets though. I always remember that.

I will, though. Any second now, it’ll all come back.

Regardless, I should get back in bed. Kim’s lying right beside me, showing signs of growing awake.

And she wakes up. Although not slowly like me. She sits up straight away, looks around and grabs hold of me tightly in terror.

‘Where are we?!’ she squeaks. I can feel her trembling.

‘I don’t know...is this your house? There was a sleepover, right?’

‘No!’ Kim whisperers, her voice shaking ‘We were about to go to the bus stop. We stopped for lunch. We felt really tired. Then...did we fall asleep?’ I think back.

‘Maybe,’ I say vaguely, my heart beating violently ‘I can tell you one thing though. Wherever we are, it’s no snack bar.’

‘Oh no!’

‘What?’

‘Look how dark it is! We’ve missed the bus!’ Kim wails.

Two words.

First word is “who.” Second word is “cares.”

The bus is way too insignificant to worry me. The “carpet”...now I’m awake, I can clearly feel that it’s grass. Around us are the trees. The amount of trees that you could only find in the wilderness, or a forest park. Above us is the sky. The night sky, free of ambience. The stars are more visible than I’ve ever seen in my life.

This place is so natural, it looks unnatural.

It’s a beautiful scene. At least it would be if I understood why I was in it.

My other friends, maybe, maybe they might find some fun in it, but Kim? Kim would never go to a place like this by choice. And definitely not at night.


Probably this is a dream. Although my dreams don’t normally work this way. I can normally recognize where I am from somewhere else. Or a mush of places. But I’ve never seen somewhere as stainless, somewhere as untainted by humanity.

‘Aghh!’

‘Kim!’ I reach for her, relieved when I catch hold of the material on her familiar, yet disturbingly thin, designer top ‘What is it?’

‘I pinched myself. Ouch...’

‘You total...’

That idea’s hopeless, then.

‘Do you think they threw us outside when we fell asleep at lunch?’ she asks hopefully.

‘Are they even allowed to do that?’ We think.

‘No, probably not’ Kim admits.

Then where are we?

I stand up.

‘Where are you going?’ she says in fright.

‘I have no idea,’ I mutter ‘but we aren’t having much luck figuring things out here.’

Kim stands up to join me and I look around at the completely natural land, empty of any other moving thing. The stars seem to swan around above us in a mocking way, as if they’ve seen exactly what has happened from their height.

We had only been walking for a few seconds when I noticed something.

‘There are other people here,’ I whisper, holding Kim’s shoulder and making her stop.

‘Great!’ she says ‘Let’s find them and ask for directions!’

‘Shh!’ I hiss sharply ‘No! This place could be dangerous, and so could the people! Remember? Man is the most dangerous thing on earth!’

‘What about w-‘

‘God, Kim. It doesn’t matter, not at all, but I’d say that woman is a close second.’

‘That’s sexist.’

‘Statistical! And that’s irrelevant anyway. Keep quiet! Not quiet, silent!’


Although my eyes are about as adjusted as they’re going to get, there are only the stars for a source of light and I can’t see her face. However, I can imagine the expression it’s currently displaying.

‘Then how will the people find us? I want to get home, and now!’

‘Shut up!’

‘Hey, nobody tells me to-‘

‘SHUT UP! Listen! I don’t think that these are...friendly people,’ I attempt to explain ‘Just trust me, this one time.’ Kim isn’t convinced.

‘I don’t care,’ she says stubbornly in her usual loud whine, painfully out of place, completely forgetting the part about keeping quiet again. It doesn’t surprise me, unfortunately.

A figure jumps out of a particularly hidden group of trees, the faint starlight glinting off a small, sharp, smooth, shining surface.

Kim shrieks.

Grr. Never mind. Either way, we’re doomed. Unless...it’s the only way.

I can see that there’s only one thing we can do.

Run like hell.

We aren’t tired, but I know we will be eventually. Whoever the attacker is, they don’t look like a weakling. This had better not go on for too long, otherwise Kim and I are doomed. The way she’s floundering a little already, probably in that order. But in quick succession.

It doesn’t feel like we’re running fast enough. I will my legs to go faster, but they don’t. It’s like running through water. After a while, my legs start to feel like they’re burning, even in the cold.

And then there’s a screech behind me.

I feel for Kim desperately. She’s still there, thank God. Then who was...

We both look behind us, unconsciously stopping running. The person chasing us is lying on the grass, the closest area of grass around them being significantly darker. They’ve obviously been killed, their own knife in their back.

But the killer is nowhere in sight.

‘Hey...um...drop any weapons!’

Who is that? The police? No, the voice is too young and uncertain. I get the feeling Kim’s about to say something, and based on previous experience, I can’t trust her to say the right thing, so I nudge her in warning.

The stranger walks into sight, somehow with both extreme confidence and extreme insecurity.


‘No weapon? Uh...suit yourself, but I wouldn’t recommend it.’

It’s a female voice, not what I expected.

‘It isn’t exactly safe for anyone, really, to be alone this time of night. Well, even if you had weapons.’

She walks closer to try and see our faces, with great difficulty. I can see her a little more clearly, even more surprising than her gender, she’s not much older than us.

‘Can’t be any older than sixteen or seventeen...’ she comments, not really speaking to us. This last comment pleases Kim. She smiles awkwardly.

‘Just arrived here, have you?’ she asks casually, as if we’re checking in at a hotel.

‘Y-yes,’ I reply when Kim fails to do anything but tremble.

‘Wow,’ the girl replies ‘Then listen when I say this. Out here? You don’t stand a chance. The guy back there would have cut you up pretty badly if I hadn’t been there.’

‘H-he was going to kill us?’ asks Kim.

‘Well, yeah,’ she says in a pitying sort of way ‘Dude. This place isn’t all puppies and rainbows like the ...Sourceworld. They’re all out to get you. You don’t want to risk another thing like that again. You’d better come back with me. If nightfall can take back some random person he finds, so can I! I’ll show...I mean, we’ll help you out!’ She twitches her head in a direction, starting to walk.

Kim and I linger behind unsurely.

‘Either take your chances with me, or face certain death out here,’ she calls.

Kim looks like she’s about to follow. I catch her.

‘Stop doing that!’

‘Are you crazy?’ I ask desperately.

‘According to you, yes!’

‘Let it go, will you? We’ve only just met this girl. You saw what she did to that person back there. If she’s lying, we don’t stand a chance. And I thought that- what was it- “nightfall took back some random person and so can I” thing sounded pretty ominous.’

‘Probably because you’ve been hanging out with freaks.’

‘That was one time- I mean, don’t be so obnoxious!’

Kim shrugs and follows.

‘Yeah, yeah.’

‘Kim!’


It’s too dark, and I can’t see her anymore.

I collapse to the ground.

Oh no. I’ve got a really bad feeling about this. And I mean really bad. A feeling so bad that I’ve only had to feel it once before. No. Maybe if I keep my eyes closed for long enough it will stop on its own.

‘Now I get that déjà vu thing everyone goes on about.’

The voice I thought I’d never have to hear again is horribly familiar. I close my eyes even tighter, trying to shut her out of my senses, squeeze her out of my mind. I already know what I’m going to see. I can already see her profile in my mind, complete with little blocks of unwanted information and suspicions at the side.

‘I’d have thought you’d have learnt by now. No offence. You need to work on your instincts.’

That voice. It hasn’t changed a bit.

She’s definitely real. My imagination is poor. Second time around, I can see it couldn’t do this. I can’t stop myself from opening my eyes to check. She’s definitely real.

‘I have a good feeling about her,’ she says, peering at me ‘I think she’s right. There’s no way you’ll survive for more than a couple of days back here. Trust me...’

It’s just like before. She walks a few steps and then stops and reaches out a hand, naturally.

I decide following a suspicious angel is preferable to nothing.

So, just like before, I follow her.

‘Are you my guardian angel or something?’

‘Why would I be one of those?’ she asks.

‘You’ve only ever turned up when I was lost like this,’ I explain ‘And last time, even when we were going by other people, they never noticed you.’ She starts laughing, a soft cutesy childish and unadulterated laugh.

‘Did I say something funny?’

‘No, I’m just remembering that time when I walked through that fat guy with the twirly moustache...’

Fat guy? Twirly moustache? Most angels in the media are a lot more dignified and...well...angelic than this. She looks the part...only without the traditional wings or halo.

‘I think I’m a guardian angel,’ she concludes after she calms down ‘Nobody else can see me. It was fun to start with, but it gets pretty lonely. I’m only guessing, though. Are people meant to be able to see their guardian angels?’


‘I wouldn’t know.’ It’s surprising how normal a conversation we’re having. I thought I’d be more freaked out than this. But she doesn’t just seem to be emanating light, there’s a distinct aura of warmth and trustworthiness around her too, that is starting to counteract my earlier feelings.

‘You don’t have a clue about any of this, do you?’ she asks me.

‘Yep. No idea whatsoever.’

‘Neither do I!’ she says, joyful for a reason only she seems to know ‘I can’t even remember how long I’ve been drifting around here for. I don’t know why I am, although I know it’s for a reason. You’re the only person who’s ever been able to see me. But only twice.’

‘Have you been trying to get me to see you other times, then?’

‘After how you reacted after the first time, I thought it wasn’t a good idea. Was I right?’ Despite the confusion and anxiety I’ve been going through, I feel guilty. She moves her teeth in a vampiristic grin.

‘Maybe,’ I say ‘I’d probably have just overreacted.’ She looks awkward.

‘But now you’re fine, aren’t you?’

‘Strangely, yes.’

‘So then would it be okay if I hung around with you for a while?’ Oh no. I gulp.

‘How long would that be?’

‘Until you get home.’

‘Why would you want to do that?’ I’m sure that she means well, but nevertheless, this looks a long way away from “home”, and I don’t want to be haunted by her continually watching and following me about. I’m not a spirit medium type girl.

‘Firstly, because even only from what I’ve seen so far, this looks the most dangerous place you could possibly be,’ she says, not doing much to ease my fears ‘Secondly...the second one I can’t explain. I think I’m closer to what I’m looking for.’

‘And I don’t- I can’t- know what that is,’ she adds quickly ‘All I know is that it’s the reason I’m here, in this form.’

The moon catches my eye.

It’s so far away. I don’t know how far away.

This observation reminds me of the situation I’m in.

There are so many trees, and they’re spread out for so far. They could go on forever.

I’m scared to be here alone. Although even without this “guardian angel”, I’ll have Kim, and the other girl, she’s different.


Plus, this isn’t just about me.

If an angel’s looking for something, it’s probably something important, isn’t it? Even if she seems more like an angel-high-school dropout angel.

‘Okay.’ She looks shocked and delighted.

‘Really?!’ she gasps. Now I’ve gotten past my initial confusion and fear, I realise she’s actually adorable, and I couldn’t refuse if I wanted to.

‘Yes.’

‘Wow!’ she exclaims ‘I totally expected you to say “no” after how you acted in the Parathingy.’ I don’t blame her. I would have probably thought the same, if I’d have seen...

‘Have you been watching me?’ For a ghostly apparition, she does a pretty good job of blushing.

‘I’m very very very sorry,’ she squeaks ‘I was worried...I felt bad about how I made you feel last time...I shouldn’t have done that...’

I reassure her that she did the right thing in a quick whisper as four silhouettes come into sight.

One is Kim.

The other is the girl from earlier.

Another one is a tall, broad-shouldered boy I don’t recognise.

The last one is...

What? This doesn’t make sense.

I look again.

No. It’s definitely who I thought it was.

...Harvey?

Unknown Danger

‘Good,’ Kim says haughtily, standing close to the others as if trying to make me feel like an outcast. In actual, sad fact there’s no “as if” about it. ‘So you weren’t stupid enough to stay there all night.’ My supposed guardian angel scowls.


‘I’m not sure if I like her much,’ she mutters.

The temptation to yell my agreement to the world is near-overwhelming. Whatever world this is.

‘Actually, I think she was right not to trust me to start with,’ the other girl says, the soft light showing the rich red colour of her admirably long hair ‘You shouldn’t trust anyone here.’ Kim steps away pointedly.

‘I think I like her, though.’

‘You’re the girl I met in the waiting room yesterday, right?’ asks Harvey. I nod, but cautiously don’t say anything. The tall boy yawns.

‘Can we talk tomorrow?’ he says, looking bored ‘I’ve already had to explain this once to...what’s your name again?’

‘Harvey.’

‘And it’s not exactly simple.’

‘They should know,’ argues the girl ‘And you hardly told Harvard-‘

‘Harvey.’

‘-anything.’

‘It’s a long story, and it can wait,’ he replies.

‘What if something happens tonight?’

‘Yeah, okay. And what are the chances of that again?’

‘It’s happened before.’

‘Huh, yeah, once.’

‘There’s still a chance.’

‘They don’t need to know the full story to be safe. Actually, it’s probably safer if they don’t know. They’ll get by. Just like...er...’

‘Harvey.’

‘I’m not sure what he’s on about, but it’s like that with a lot of things. Like werewolves and vampires,’ says the angel ‘I know that it’s true, ‘cause I saw it on someone’s CV...I mean CD...or TD...er...’

The girl insists that it’s safer that we do know, but eventually, gives in, not to the boy’s argument, but to her drowsiness.

‘I’m not tired,’ Kim drones childishly ‘I want to know.’ She isn’t the only one.

‘I want to know, I want to know, I want to know, I want to know!’ chants my guardian angel.


What happened to angelic choruses? This is just annoying. It sounds like that awful rap on one of the talent shows last year.

‘Then you don’t have to sleep,’ the girl mutters, obviously more concerned with defying Kim than the boy. ‘But I do. Or I go on badly organised murderous rampages.’ Kim squeaks.

I hope she’s joking. Wait. I hope she’s partly joking.

She pushes past the trees behind her. The rest of us follow.

In the even dimmer light, I struggle to see, but when I do, a forest clearing comes into focus. There are two beds, mostly comprised of grass, at opposite ends of the clearing.

‘Is that meant to be a pile of sticks or a bed?’

What I had dismissed as a rubbish heap seems to instead be evidence of Harvey’s bad craftsmanship. His hair probably got into his eyes.

The girl walks on and falls onto the bed furthest away, draping her arm over her face.

‘Anyone else tired?’ asks the boy.

‘I’ve slept enough already,’ Harvey replies, looking at his “bed” distastefully. Kim isn’t, and neither am I.

‘Okay,’ the boy says ‘But firstly: don’t go out of the clearing if you like living. Secondly: make as little noise as possible, or Flame will have a go at you, or worse, someone else might. And most importantly, if you hear any human noise at all outside, wake me up. No, wake both of us up, or Flame will also have a go at you. Got that?’ He doesn’t wait very long for an answer before lying down, eyes closed.

Hey, that was quick.

‘I don’t believe it,’ mutters Harvey ‘He’s asleep.’ The angel still leans down and waves a hand in front of his face, forgetting that even if his eyes weren’t closed, he wouldn’t be able to see her anyway. She gets the message after she tries to prod him and her finger goes straight through his arm.

‘Harvey...’ I start, not sure which question to pick ‘...what’s going on?’ He looks around the clearing, his eyes tracing the same path twice.

‘Tch, well, I don’t know,’ he finally says. Kim is relentless.

‘Neither do I, and I don’t care how you met, I don’t care who you are and I don’t care who those freaks are either,’ she says a little too loudly, jabbing her index fingers in the direction of the two sleeping figures ‘I just want to get out of this dump!’

‘Good riddance,’ mumbles the girl, rolling over onto her front and saying something else into the grass.

‘Sorry...whoever you are,’ Harvey addresses Kim, as if he isn’t very interested in finding out ‘But I just got here too, okay? It was only a few hours before you. Not that I know for sure. This stinks.’ He kicks out in rage, only to realise he’s messed up his bed even more.


‘You do know something that we don’t know,’ I insist.

‘How do you know that?’

‘Because earlier the other guy-.’

‘Nightfall.’

‘What?’

‘It’s his name. Nightfall.’

Angels don’t appear to be able to differentiate from normal names and weird ones, as she just stands (or floats?) there, smiling.

‘That’s a cool name,’ she comments ‘Hey, Addy, can I have a cool name like Nightfall? I want that name. Can I have it? Please? Can I? Please? Please? I want it! Please? Please? Please?’

‘That’s a stupid name. It’s not his real name, is it?’ asks Kim, as I try in vain to block out the “please”’s.

‘No,’ Harvey says, but he doesn’t sound sure ‘Hmm. I hope not.’ Kim fixes the girl with a look of loathing.

‘And who’s she?’

‘That’s Flame,’ he says, as the angel suddenly decides she quite likes that name too and starts chirping at me ‘Very skilled, tough and competitive. I’ll warn you now...’

‘Kim.’

‘Okay, Kim,’ Much to my amusement, Harvey says her name like he would say “dung” or “skin-decaying fungus” ‘You don’t seem to be getting on...well with Flame. I’m just saying...I don’t think it’s a good idea to annoy her. Either of them. It’s not because they’re going to attack us or anything, although they look capable of it. It’s because I don’t think we’ll last long out here. Without them, I mean.’

‘Ha!’ Kim laughs ‘It’s just a big field! What, are we going to be mauled to death by sheep?’

She seems to have forgotten the sudden attack upon our arrival.

‘A big field?’ Harvey starts laughing now ‘It’s much more than that. To their knowledge, nobody has ever seen the end of it. They even call it the “Otherworld.” They haven’t told me what’s so unsafe about it yet- I think they’re still trying to work out whether it’s a good idea- and I haven’t seen anything dangerous, but I t-‘

‘Then there’s nothing dangerous!’ Kim cries ‘Probably their idea of a sick joke. I wouldn’t be surprised if they put us here in the first place.’ She starts looking around, most likely searching for cameras. Harvey gives her a look of instant dismissal, but his eyes glance around as well.

‘You can stop looking,’ I interrupt, and their gaze shifts to me unnervingly ‘Kim, don’t you remember? Back there, when that person tried to kill us-‘


‘They weren’t really,’ she snorts ‘I’m telling you, it was all a set-up. This is all a big set-up!’ I still can see the scene play in my mind.

‘Flame stabbed that person,’ I remember ‘And that wasn’t fake. I could see it. That was a real knife, a real stab, real blood.’ Intent on finding a reason to find and sue someone for all they’ve got, Kim desperately tries to think of a way it could have been staged.

‘What about that CGI thingy they use in movies?’

‘Computer Generated Imagery,’ says Harvey, rolling his eyes into his head and back to Kim.

After a long argument about whether or not there could have been a projector, we eventually convince Kim that Flame, Nightfall, nor anyone else or anything, is not, and never was, in fact, a hologram.

Just a Game

Soon the conversation had died out, and there had just been an awkward silence, frustrating Star.


(With her burning desire to have a “cool name”, she had looked up at the sky and impulsively chosen the first thing she saw. I’m quite happy, because I could see it being much worse, and I was feeling stupid just calling her “angel.”)

‘Addy...I’m really bored.’

‘Someone do something already!’

‘Yawn, yawn, yawn.’

‘Say something! Anything!’

‘Boring!’

‘B-O-R-I-G!’

Apparently angels aren’t much good at spelling either.

After at least two hours of trying to get Star to shut up without drawing attention to myself, it came as a relief when, as the sun began to rise, Flame groaned and pushed herself off her bed.

‘Get up, you lazy oaf,’ she mutters to Nightfall, kicking him gently.

‘You’re so sweet, aren’t you...isn’t it a bit early?’ he asks, not opening his eyes.

‘Because we need to explain everything to everyone else,’ she says, giving him another kick, not as soft.

‘Ouch...that hurts...stop it!’

‘What a baby,’ Flame sniggers.

‘I’m not the one with the temper tantrums,’ he retorts, standing up. Flame doesn’t help her situation by choosing that moment to turn red in anger and stamp on the floor, glaring furiously.

Speaking of red, I can see her hair clearly now in the light. It really is red. Not ginger, completely red, bright red. The type of girl you’d find on hair-dye boxes. Only, I’m guessing from the setting, without the hair-dye.

I can see why she’s called Flame now.

Kim takes the chance to laugh at Nightfall’s comment, but it doesn’t have the same effect and Flame just looks at her pityingly.

Harvey looks at me, his lips pressed together in a smile firmly, struggling not to laugh. I cough strangely, covering my mouth with my hand. Star doesn’t help me much by laughing loudly and freely.

‘Welcome to the Otherworld!’ says Flame, as if we’re arriving at a holiday resort ‘Enjoy your stay! I’m your dazzling, beautiful, fierce, formidable-‘ Nightfall taps his foot on the floor impatiently.

‘She wanted to be an air hostess,’ he sighs.


‘-simply wonderful hostess, Flame! Before we begin our quest, there’s just a few things you need to know.’ Nightfall has had enough.

‘This isn’t a game,’ he interrupts ‘This is serious, Flame. It’s a matter of life and death.’

‘Wrong! It is a game,’ she argues. Harvey slaps his hand to his forehead and lets it slide down slowly.

‘...not again,’ he hisses.

‘It may be a game,’ Nightfall says darkly ‘But it’s so much more than that.’ For once, Flame begrudgingly agrees.

‘If, for the sake of this explanation, we think of this as a game,’ she says, thinking ‘The prize is life, and the loser’s forfeit...is the opposite. If you fall, you know where you’re going to land.’

This isn’t happening.

It isn’t happening. It’s ridiculous. I mean, there’s an angel right in front of me.

However, even as ridiculous as it is, it’s happening.

I knew it. I knew the consequences of “losing.” As soon as we arrived I knew.

It’s still horrible to finally hear it said aloud.

‘I don’t want to play your stupid game!’ shrieks Kim, drowning out my thoughts ‘I want to go home! I quit! Now!’ Nightfall shakes his head.

‘Shut it, kid. Or you’ll “lose”, and I won’t be saving you. Didn’t I say?’ he questions her ‘This is more than a game. You can’t quit. You can’t go back.’

‘I never agreed to this in the first place!’ Kim continues to screech at him defiantly, although noticeably quieter ‘I’m going home! LET ME GO HOME!’ Nightfall tilts his head curiously.

‘You think we might be behind this?’ He gestures at himself and Flame. Kim fidgets with her hands.

‘I can assure you that we’re not,’ he says, somewhat coldly ‘We are merely ‘players’ in this game, just like you. And just like you, we are fighting to survive, to return. These two things are the prize, intended for the winner and the winner only.’

‘I don’t want to listen to all your poetry! This is illegal! You’re holding me against my will!’ Star eyes Kim with a mixture of amazement and newly-found respect.

‘As much as I dislike her, I’ve gotta admit it, she doesn’t give up easily...on anything.’

‘The law is a rulebook,’ says Nightfall ‘A rulebook that exists in the Sourceworld, which you have come from. Not so in the Otherworld. This is a game with no rules, no restraints. Any means are allowed, and any means are used to achieve the goal and defy death.’

‘I still don’t get it,’ Harvey mutters. Flame hears him.


‘Well, as I can see that Nightfall’s pathetic ramblings aren’t doing much to help you understand, I’ll just tell it like it is, shall I? Like I was going to before I was interrupted?’ offers Flame, not waiting for an answer ‘Good. Then let’s start!’

‘I woke up here alone ages ago,’ she says tragically ‘So years ago, when I was a kid-‘

‘You’re still a kid now,’ quips Nightfall, earning a perfect sample of a “temper tantrum.”

‘As I was saying,’ Flame carries on ‘When I arrived, met up with Nightfall and so on, I didn’t have any idea what was going on either! None at all! Nada! Zilch!’

‘If you’re finished reading the thesaurus...?’ prompts Nightfall.

‘As I was saying,’ repeats Flame ‘I didn’t know anything about the Otherworld! Of course, there were more people back then-‘

This sentence causes me to shiver slightly.

‘-so it didn’t take too long to figure out what was going on,’ she explains.

‘Actually, that was m-‘

‘Everyone in the Otherworld is originally from the “Sourceworld”, hence the name, courtesy of yours truly,’ Flame suddenly starts talking more loudly, and louder again when Nightfall starts to say something else ‘And we don’t much like it here-‘

‘You’re telling me,’ Kim grunts.

‘-and we all want to get back to our normal lives,’ Flame’s face and voice softens a little ‘And people will do anything for their strongest desires.’ She stops talking, watching the horizon...remorsefully?

Star doesn’t seem to understand.

‘Yeah, I’d do anything to be able to eat one of those berries,’ she says, eyes fixed on the large blackberries hanging on the bramble bush next to the clearing ‘Being an angel really sucks sometimes. Do you know that? Because it does. When you were in primary school-’

‘Whoever’s behind this knows that, and they’re taking advantage of it on the highest level there is,’ Nightfall adds ‘Although that doesn’t stop them from being the low-levelled scum they are.’ He spits at the ground. Kim just manages to restrain herself from expressing her complete and utter disgust, not at the person who’s endangering the lives of so many people, but at the expelling of saliva.

‘People will kill for their desires...’ says Flame in a low, ominous voice so different to her usual chirpy light-hearted one ‘This whole place seems like one big test chamber to prove that. You tell them that if there comes a time when only one survives that they will be able to return to the Sourceworld...they’ll do anything in their power to be that one.’ Something occurs to Harvey.

‘Does that mean...only one of us can survive?’ he realises.


‘There are many alliances in the Otherworld,’ Nightfall says, his voice clear as nobody else dares to speak ‘But all of them are made to be broken. I can’t remember how many times I have seen them ripped apart. This cooperation they have is to achieve their individual aims...eventually, we all know we will have to break these alliances and friendships in order to regain our old ones...’ Flame stands up.

‘This is enough now,’ she says firmly ‘Let’s go.’ Nightfall stands up as well in agreement.

‘Go where?’ I ask. Kim’s face is stricken with fear, as is Harvey’s.

‘Simple. We’re in a game,’ Nightfall says ‘It’s basic etiquette. The only proper thing to do is to play it.’

Who made up all the rules?We follow them like fools,Believe them to be true,Don't care to think them through

I'm sorry, so sorryI'm sorry it's like thisI'm sorry, so sorryI'm sorry we do this

And it's ironic too'Cause what we tend to doIs act on what they sayAnd then it is that way

I'm sorry, so sorryI'm sorry it's like thisI'm sorry, so sorryI'm sorry we do this

Who are they?Where are they?How can they possibly know all this?

-They, Jem

Packs and Wolves

Flame brushes a pile of leaves aside, revealing a patch of dirt that looks somehow different from the ground around it. As she easily scoops the dirt out, it becomes obvious that this patch has been dug up before, probably several times.


I step forward slightly to see. She withdraws several long, curved sticks. I look at one of the sticks. There’s something that looks like string attached to one end...both ends.

Star walks closer, and it’s probably my imagination, but her glow seems to bathe them in light and make the image sharper and more in focus. Then I realise. They’re bows.

Hunting weapons.

In this case, humans are the prey.

That just feels sick and wrong.

How did I get into this mess?

Flame misreads our expressions.

‘A-Are they not good?’ she squeaks anxiously, handing a bow to me ‘But look, I even carved in grooves for the arrows, see...?’ I stare at the finely crafted bow in my hand.

‘No, they’re good,’ I say ‘...If anything, too good...’ Flame looks satisfied, smiling confidently.

‘Naturally.’

‘We take precautions like these in case of a night-time attack,’ Nightfall explains as Flame starts to withdraw the wooden arrows from the ground ‘We hide the weapons so they can’t be used against us. And we also take it in turns to guard during the night, half each, only that’ll change now you’re all here. Thank God. Much more of that, then if I fell over, something that’s as inevitable in here as in a round of “dizzy sticks”-‘

‘Don’t mention that game in front of me,’ Flame grumbles.

‘-I’d never get up again.’

He says more, but bright light suddenly flicks towards me. Something else Flame takes out of the pit has my complete attention.

The way the light shines off it reminds me of its purpose.

Nightfall picks up one of the knives, brushing the dirt off it with his tattered sleeve, unconsciously enlarging a small rip. Flame slings a bow over her shoulder, and stuffs all the arrows in the pocket of her worn jacket.

‘Take whatever you want,’ she offers, spreading the threatening array of weaponry between her and us. Harvey looks thoughtful, Star looks fascinated and Kim doesn’t surprise me much by looking like a rebel- but sadly, a bit of a lame wannabe rebel.

‘What if I don’t want to?’ she protests ‘You can’t make me!’ Flame laughs.


‘Oh, really?’ she mocks, whipping an arrow out of her pocket and drawing back the string of her bow. Kim mumbles her equivalent of an admission of defeat. Flame grins. Kim clenches her teeth together.

‘Come on, pick already!’ orders Star ‘Can I choose? Get a knife! They’re really pretty and shiny!’ Oh, please.

I don’t want to pick first. If I chose a bow, and Kim and Harvey both chose a knife, then the only person to compare my likely to be abysmal shooting to would be Flame, an expert in the field. If the choices of weaponry were switched, I’d have a similar predicament with Nightfall.

Harvey saves us by doing the intelligent thing.

Consulting someone more intelligent.

In the field of combat, at least. For some reason, something about Flame tells me she wouldn’t have much patience for algebra. And I can’t see Nightfall doing very well in something like...I don’t know...Health and Social Care?

‘What would you recommend?’ he asks.

‘Knife,’ answers Nightfall immediately.

‘Bow,’ Flame says at the same time.

‘Very helpful,’ Harvey says, but only loudly enough for me to hear.

‘Everyone knows that bows are the ultimate Otherworld weapon, and the only way to go for long distance combat!’ Flame looks at hers proudly.

‘Long distance combat is for sissies,’ says Nightfall bluntly.

‘Just because you want to play the hero,’ Flame struggles to keep calm, her hot temper occurring to me as another reason as to why her name is so appropriate ‘Some of us are skilled enough not to have to risk our lives to get the work done!’

The phrase “get the work done” is echoed by my mind. I hate that thing sometimes, I really do.

‘Please,’ Nightfall dismisses her claims ‘You really think you could finish someone off with that thing? Only if you were lucky enough to hit exactly the right spot on their body. These knives are the only reason we ever make any progress around here.’

Progress. Otherwise known in these parts as gradually whittling down the number of survivors.

‘It’s not luck. It’s skill. Stabbing away and hoping to get someone before they get you, now, that’s luck.’

‘Let’s just say that it’s a matter of opinion,’ concludes Nightfall, noticing Flame’s smug expression ‘That’s a compromise, not surrender.’


Harvey shrugs at me and takes a knife. Nightfall congratulates him on his bravery, but I notice, with some amusement, that Harvey has chosen the one with the longest blade and handle.

The idea of desperately “stabbing away and hoping to get someone before they get you” sounds unappealing, so despite Star’s pleads, I pick up a small bow, hoping the size might help my aim somehow. And I can use the arrows in a close confrontation. Although I hope it doesn’t come to that. Flame applauds me. Kim copies my decision. Flame claps for her too, but undeniably weaker.

‘Let’s go!’ Flame announces. The tone confuses me, the words worry me. We push our way out of the clearing, Kim in front of me, managing to flick several branches into my face, on purpose or not. I try to politely ignore it and casually brush the leaves out of my hair. It doesn’t quite work, and the dry leaves crumble into little, clinging pieces which I have to carefully slide down and off strands.

Flame and Nightfall are still talking about weapons and Kim is glaring down at the ground so furiously that I wouldn’t be surprised if the grass caught on fire. Star, forgetting yet again that only I can see her, makes attempts to pull funny faces to cheer her up, accompanied by noises of “huuurrrgh” and “nnn” and something that sounds like “warbling gerbil.”

‘It’s been one heck of a 24 hours,’ Harvey says.

‘Guess that’s one way of putting it,’ I sigh. In front of us, I can see Flame gradually stepping further away from Nightfall, suggesting that the conversation didn’t go her way. She ends up lagging behind him, drawing nearer to the rest of us, with the exception of Kim, who is still having what looks like a staring contest with Earth.

If this still is Earth.

Otherworld.

I hope not.

‘Worried?’ Flame asks, more to me than anyone else. I feel uncomfortable and unsure, because knowing the sort of person she seems to be, my first instinct is to lie. Then I see that her face is not challenging, but concerned. She laughs at me, but her laugh is somehow kind and warm.

‘Never mind, that’s a stupid question,’ she says ‘I’m still worried. Even if it’s just an unarmed wolf. Actually, that’s emotionally worse, much worse...’ She glances in the opposite direction and rakes her fingers through her hair roughly.

So there are wolves out here.

Huh. Wait.

Unarmed wolf?

As opposed to what exactly?

Flame seems as confused as me, looking as if she’s trying to work out what unusual thing she said.


‘You mean there are armed wolves?’ I ask. She nods energetically.

‘Most of them are!’ she says ‘It doesn’t take a big pack to create a simple weapon. Whether they’re armed well or not is something else! I once saw one with nothing more than a stick. I felt sorry for him when...’ She tugs at her hair again and bites the edge of her bottom lip, not very hard, but hard enough to make a small patch turn white.

Images of werewolves dance around in a mental slideshow.

‘We’re not just talking about normal wolves here, are we?’

‘Eh?’ Flame blinks, and it’s like a click of recognition. She starts giggling loudly.

‘Do you want to be hunted down and killed?’ Nightfall calls ‘Because if you do, I don’t want to get dragged into it.’ Flame aims a pretty good imitation of Kim’s glare at the back of his head, and it’s somewhat surprising to see that his skull remains intact.

‘One of these days,’ she grunts ‘One of these days my fighting prowess will be so intimidating he’ll never even dare to try to make me into a big joke again. I’ll get there...one step at a time.’ She laughs again, more softly, but more menacingly, gradually growing louder...

Ulp.

‘Sorry,’ she says, seeing my face ‘I just used to watch too much freaky anime. There was this one particular one called- never mind, I’m sorry, what was I talking about again?’

‘Wolves.’

Meanwhile, Star seems to have given up on Kim...

‘Addy...she’s not listening...’ I mouth something to her.

Unfortunately, judging by Flame’s reaction it wasn’t as inconspicuous as I had hoped.

Fortunately, with her future ascension and current amusement, she doesn’t care at all.

‘We divide the residents of the Otherworld into two simple categories: the alliances, and the Wolves,’ Flame explains ‘That explanation is really enough to define to you the meaning of the term “Wolves.” Ironically, wolves are pack animals, but it comes from the equally stupid phrase “lone wolf.”’

She smiles.

‘I’d bet my life that we won’t be fighting any big groups today, because luckily, the number of those who are Wolves by far outnumber the number of those with allies,’ she adds ‘which gives people like us a distinct advantage in confrontations. Even with just the two of us, Nightfall and I, I’d say we’re at least one of the most formidable alliances in the entire Otherworld.’


I look at Flame. Like me, she’s still a teenager, not fully grown (I’m guessing, much to her chagrin). Despite the way he annoys Flame by speaking to her like she’s a little child, Nightfall isn’t much older. I’d guess that she’s sixteen. If she was, Nightfall would be seventeen. Or eighteen.

‘You don’t talk much, do you?’ Flame says ‘It doesn’t matter, though, I know what you’re thinking already. I like that. It makes me feel more secure talking to you. I mean being able to read your expression, not you not talking much. Actually, did you ever tell me your name?’

‘No. It’s Adara,’ I reply ‘And that’s my friend Kim. S-She’s okay once you get to know her.’ I felt the need to add the last bit, in case Flame decides on Kim, who remains in a sulk, as the first ally to start shooting at.

But is there a part of me that really means it? There are so many times when I hate her, but I’ve grown attached to Kim. Now we’re in such a dangerous place, I realise I’d be inconsolable if anything happened to her.

We were once part of a larger group of friends (hardly friends, really, more like a lump of newly arrived girls desperate for company), but as everyone branched off into their cliques, Kim chose to stick by me.

And that open admiration she once had for me, even if only for that first year, even if only for a few months, even though now that admiration has been replaced by open disregard, was something I deeply appreciated.

‘Maybe it’s just because we’re too alike that we don’t get on,’ admits Flame ‘God. I must be a total pain.’ I take care to keep my laugh quiet.

‘You were saying earlier that you knew what I was thinking,’ I say ‘So...what was I thinking?’

‘Eh? You should know,’ she teases affectionately ‘You were wondering how two teenagers could take on big alliances like we do, right?’

Am I really that obvious?

‘Well...yes,’ I say ‘You’re good...so out of interest, how do you do it?’ Flame winks so quickly I’m not even sure whether it happened.

‘It’s a secret.’

The Impossible Win


Flame seems to have reconciled with Nightfall, as always, giving Harvey, who looks like he’s dying from the desperation, a chance to talk to me. It’s kind of like speed dating. I mean, without the dating, of course. Aw, why did I have to think that? Now I feel awkward and clammy.

‘Hey, Adara,’ he whispers, so Flame and Nightfall don’t hear ‘I’ve been thinking. What’s the point in all of this if we’re all going to die anyway? Might as well roll over in defeat now.’

‘What?’ I say, not able to think of anything more useful. After hearing Flame’s committed words, I feel a burning desire to prove him wrong.

And I’d try.

If I wasn’t thinking exactly the same thing.

‘No, no, no, no, no, no!’ Star insists ‘Don’t! Don’t give up! Don’t do it! Shut up, Harvey! Don’t listen to him, Addy! The glass is half full! Half full!’

Wha...?

‘Come on,’ Harvey snorts ‘We can’t kid ourselves we’re all coming out of here alive. Even if our little does succeed, the chances of one of us making it out are little more than nothing. Did you hear those two bragging about their skills? Success or no success, we’re going to get killed.’

How can I argue against that? He’s right. Whatever happens, we’re doomed.

Again, I wonder: how did I get into this?

Harvey, on the other hand, isn’t content with just going along with it.

‘So what do we do?’ he asks ‘We can’t just fight this losing battle. You know about my kid brother. He’ll be wondering why I’m not home to play football with him. Please, Adara. You’re really the only one who can help me.’ He looks at Kim, looking as hostile as ever.

‘And that Kim girl too, I suppose,’ he adds, unenthusiastically ‘But, um, maybe later.’

‘Hey, what about me?!’ Star protests ‘I can help! Why can nobody see me? This is so dumb!’

‘I’m sorry,’ I really mean the two words ‘It’s hopeless. I just can’t think of any other way.’ We sigh in unison, so similarly that it would be pretty funny if we weren’t caught in this dead end.

Then I realise something about one of the possible situations. There’s no hope for us...

‘There is something we could do,’ I say tentatively. Harvey’s eyes give the illusion of lighting up. ‘Wouldn’t it be worth something to keep fighting so Nightfall or Flame could get out of here? I mean...I’ve been talking to Flame...and both of them seem like really nice people...’ My stomach feels hollow as the light in Harvey’s eyes cuts off and he eyes the two people in front of us with, not dislike, but definitely not fondness.


‘I’m not so sure,’ he says, continuing to look at them ‘Sure, they may seem nice...but...I think there’s a deeper reason for that. They’ve said it themselves.’ He doesn’t need to repeat it. I can hear Nightfall’s voice, as if he’s yelling the words back to me right now.

There are many alliances in the Otherworld. But all of them are made to be broken. I can’t remember how many times I have seen them ripped apart. This cooperation they have is to achieve their individual aims...

I repeat the last sentence out loud, to Harvey.

‘That’s right,’ he says darkly ‘I don’t know. Maybe they really are genuinely nice. But there’s enough reason for it all to be a facade, perhaps to avoid betrayal, so that we keep fighting for them.’ I give up hope.

‘But then, why did they take us into their group that night?’ Star asks, less animatedly, more softly ‘They aren’t bad people. I know it!’

I repeat these words to Harvey, in my last hopes to believe that Flame and Nightfall really are who they seem to be. Although only the first part. I don’t want to seem too naive.

‘They could have just left us there. Or even killed us,’ I finish.

With one arrow, with one swipe.

‘Probably to recruit us for a little army,’ Harvey has made his final judgement ‘To increase their chances of getting back to their real friends.’

...eventually, we all know we will have to break these alliances and friendships in order to regain our old ones...

‘As soon as we’re the only ones left, we can kiss our maimed butts goodbye,’ Harvey goes on ‘I’d be interested to see which one of them would win. Flame looks like a good shot, although I’d still think Nightfall. You should have seen him when he found me...scary as anything, thought I was done for. What about you?’

I feel too betrayed to care.

‘What are we going to do, just keep walking until we get attacked?’ asks Kim sarcastically, speaking for the first time in what feels like hours and startling me. Flame takes her seriously.

‘Not exactly,’ she says ‘Until we find anyone. It’s taking much longer than usual. There aren’t as many ‘newcomers’ now, and the “population” is taking a big decline in numbers. Soon only the best will be left. We’ll be part of them, naturally.’

‘You know, it’s not all bad,’ Harvey says, looking at his knife.

‘Isn’t...it?’


‘Might as well enjoy it while we’re still alive,’ Harvey says eagerly ‘None of the games I’ve played come close to this. Not even paintballing has got anything on it. If my friends could see me now!’

Typical.

Out of boredom, or perhaps something deeper, Flame examines the arrows in her pocket, gently touching the tip of each to find the sharpest ones.

‘In a minute, I’ll teach you where to aim for,’ she says to Kim and I ‘It’s all about the aim! Even a gentle hit in the right places can be fatal to the enemy.’

I would give anything not to look like a total idiot when the time comes.

Why am I even worrying about something like that when I could die? But with Flame and Nightfall on our side, even if only for now, that isn’t such a concern.

Flame, of course, will be brilliant with a bow and arrow. What if Kim turns out to be unexpectedly good too? The horror. She’ll never shut up about it.

But what really concerns me...will I actually be able to...?

Shh. For now, I have to stay strong. I know my current aim, to stay alive. I don’t know why. Even though I know I will be killed, I’ll keep on-

BANG!

What? What was that?!

Flame has to leap out of the way of something flying towards her, enviably agile.

The comparably calm atmosphere dissolves into a rush of panic and heartbeats.

‘What was that?’ shrieks Kim in terror. Nightfall and Flame both hiss at her to shut up.

‘Don’t panic. There’s somebody out here,’ Nightfall whispers ‘And that’s a powerful bow they have, by the sound of it.’

The first sentence seems contradicted by the next two.

‘That’s no bow and arrow I heard,’ gasps Flame. He doesn’t doubt her.

‘You’re the expert on that, so I’ll trust you,’ he says ‘Then what is it?’ She doesn’t know.

I think I know. It sounded like...but that’s impossible in a place like this.

But in a place like this I can’t rule out anything.

They wouldn’t recognise it, after being away from the “Sourceworld” for so long.

Kim looks like she’s thinking the same thing. Star is speechless and motionless with fear. Looking down at the spot where Flame had been standing, Harvey says it for us.


A small, yet extremely deep hole lies in the ground.

‘It’s a gun.’

The Impossible Win


‘Impossible,’ breathes out Nightfall ‘Come on. This is the Otherworld. They couldn’t get a weapon like that.’

‘Doesn’t everybody make their weapons from scratch?’ asks Harvey, not quite as terrified as the rest of us, probably due to his paintballing and whatever experiences, but scared enough.

‘Yes,’ Flame says, going pale, her skin starting to resemble Star’s ‘They couldn’t have done that. The materials...unless...unless they had it with them when they...’ She can’t find the right word, not concerned enough to search for one, but we understand.

If only, that day, I had brought...I don’t know. Kim tried her mobile phone last night. No reception. I only just managed to catch it when she realised.

The past doesn’t matter, anyway. The past is the only time that doesn’t, especially here. What matters the most? Is it the present, or the future? Either way, I know that if I don’t concentrate on the present, there will be no future.

Flame stares up at a far-away group of hills, searching for the shooter. Nightfall, however, is crouched on the ground, looking at the dent in it.

‘It is a bullet,’ he says ‘Even after so long, there’s no mistaking it...just their luck to have had one of those things with them...I wonder how many they-‘

‘What are you doing, you idiot?!’ she snaps, everyone else secretly thinking the same thing ‘Shut up! Like anybody cares! This is no time to be in awe!’

‘I’m looking,’ he grunts through his teeth ‘At the angle of the hole in the ground.’ He points his finger in a diagonal direction, and brings it up in a straight line, until he’s pointing at one of the hilltops. Another shot causes two shrieks, one from Kim, another even louder one from Star.

‘I’m sorry!’ Star squeaks, flickering and fading away ‘I just...I can’t!’

Well. Some guardian angel she turned out to be.

Luckily for Star, I don’t have much time to dwell on her cowardice as we run for a thicker patch of trees.

‘Fight or flight?’ asks Flame simply, her back to a tree, acting as a shield. Surprisingly, her composure is back. No, it’s not her usual composure. It’s stronger, more determined, more stable, a mental protective shell.

‘Fight,’ Nightfall grunts. Even Harvey’s mouth falls open.

‘We can’t!’ Flame screeches at him, that composure crumbling ‘That’s suicide! We have no chance! Hear that? No- freaking- chance!’

‘Yeah, what she said!’ Kim agrees with her for once ‘We’re too young to die! I still haven’t done all the things I want to! It’s on a list in-‘


‘Which is precisely the reason we let you three join us,’ Nightfall replies ‘I say we. I think Flame was just jumping on the bandwagon. Do people still use that phrase in the Sourceworld?’ Flame screams into her hands with frustration.

‘Nobody cares!’ she says ‘You know what I care about? I care about staying alive! Not walking straight into gun-fire!’

‘Ah. Which is exactly what we need to do to stay alive,’ he replies.

‘You little-‘

Another shot cuts Flame off mid-insult.

‘Will you just let me explain?’ Nightfall says impatiently ‘Soon only the best will remain. With weapons like that, they’re bound to be the last ones. If not them, someone else who “wins” that weapon from them. At some point, if we’re going to survive, we’re going to have to take these kinds of arms on. And now’s the best time. If we succeed, we’re going to be virtually invincible.’

‘Then aren’t they invincible right now?’

‘No,’ Nightfall grins ‘Because they’re them, and we’re us.’ Flame bows her head.

‘Then you lead the way,’ she says ‘I don’t completely understand your plan, but I trust in...your plan.’

Nightfall doesn’t need any more than that, as he starts sprinting, weaving through trees, Flame at his side. To be safe, I copy their route exactly.

It isn’t long before Kim starts breathing heavily and making small noises of pain. I remember her straggling behind in the last fitness test at school.

Just a bit behind me, in fact...this is not good.

Just like then, she grabs onto my shirt, and for once, even though the weight makes it much harder to keep running, I let her.

This isn’t a battle of endurance. It’s the only way.

Another shot, although a safe distance away from us now we’re hidden behind the wall of trees, distracts me from both my motivation and my fear.

With all this adrenaline, I don’t even feel tired. Yet. Any moment...

Until then, the war is on.

A hand reaches out to me, clasping several arrows. I take the arrows and split them as equally, as close to half as I can. I carefully press some into Kim’s free hand and experiment with positioning an arrow on the string of my bow.

The fatigue is beginning, and my arms flap around hopelessly, struggling to even do that.


‘We’re...not...going to...’ Harvey puffs, his neck drooping ‘Even...if we get...there.’

‘We’ll be in a good position soon,’ Nightfall assures us. I feel great envy as neither he nor Flame has been affected by the running at all.

And then what?

My mouth is too busy breathing to talk. All I could manage would be a strange rasping noise and even that would cost me.

This is agony...Harvey’s idea sounds more appealing...yeah, why don’t I just roll over and die in peace...I like peace...

‘Stop!’ orders Nightfall, to a three-way sigh of relief ‘Flame, Adara, Kim, this is a good place for you. We’re on a hill, but it has good cover.’ He turns to the panting Harvey, looking uncertain.

‘It wouldn’t do us much good with knives,’ Nightfall says ‘I was planning to go forward...do you think you can-‘

‘No!’ It’s Flame who protests. ‘Please, st...He’s just a kid! He just got here! You can’t ask him to-‘

‘I can do it,’ Harvey says determinedly, surprising me even more ‘I know I’m good at dodging. I want to go.’ Flame reluctantly backs down, whispering concerned, sharp advice to Harvey, who wears an expression like his mother has just turned up out of nowhere.

‘I’ve got good news, and bad news,’ Nightfall says, peering through the leaves.

‘Cut the suspense already,’ Flame grunts.

‘Good news is that it appears to be a Wolf.’

‘And...?’

‘Bad news is that I think there are other people in the very far distance.’ Flame elbows him out of the way.

‘Hardly counts,’ she comments ‘Way too far away to worry about.’

‘Unless they have guns.’

‘This is really not our day,’ moans Flame ‘Hopefully they’ll finish each other off.’

‘Slight problem with that-‘

‘Oh, let’s get on with it before they get closer...’ Flame sniffs ‘So we’ll shoot at them...and hope it goes well.’

‘And we’ll keep moving until they run out of bullets,’ Nightfall says, as an exhausted Harvey groans ‘That seems to be a very basic gun, unable to hold very many, and this person seems to be quite liberal with them.’


‘Good luck,’ Flame says. There’s a pause, as if there’s meant to be more words that remain unspoken, as you would expect there to be in a possibly fatal battle.

‘Let’s get them,’ says Nightfall, not loudly but still powerfully.

When the boys are out of the way, Flame is the first to attack.

‘Surprise can be the difference between a successful bow attack and a complete failure,’ she tells Kim and I as she shoots ‘Remember that. Now, when you shoot, draw the string back as far as you can...damn! So close!’

Powerful draw.

Perfect accuracy.

Sudden release.

Simple. I let go of the string and the arrow goes hideously off-course. As I said, simple. But not easy.

Kim’s attempt is even worse. (I really shouldn’t be, but I’m a little relieved about that.)

We try again.

No better.

The third time is a slight improvement, but remains a clear miss.

‘Adara’s was close...’ says Flame ‘Kim, yours was better the first time. Calm down. It seems impossible, but when you- manage- it.’ Between the last two words she sends another two arrows forwards elegantly.

The figure ahead has finally realised what’s going on behind the trees and starts shooting wildly.

BANG!

BANG!

Flame smiles arrogantly.

‘That was a pathetic guess. Not even close...’ The opposition gives up and chooses another target.

BANG!

Harvey staggers.

Kim screams, and Flame slaps her hand over her mouth, looking even more terrified.

Is he okay? He...did he get shot? Please say he didn’t! Well, of course he did! Flame! Please say it wasn’t a fatal hit! Now! Please! Say it wasn’t!

Kim covers her eyes. To my dismay, Flame is clearly worried, and with her knowledge of battle, this isn’t a good sign.


‘Probably just hit his shoe...if it’s a weak gun he should be fine...bruised but fine...’ she gulps. And right on the second “fine”, Harvey rises to his feet (rubbing one of them, indicating that Flame was right) and springs forward.

‘I told you!’ Flame says in joy, Kim daring to look again ‘That’s right, Kim, you can’t shoot with your eyes closed! Help them!’

Kim still looks wary. Well, so do the rest of us. But she’s forcing herself to stop trembling, and raise her bow, although it looks like the effort is tearing her apart.

She’s not so bad after all.

This isn’t so bad, in a way. If I’m being a little selfish, I think the experience might be good for her...

‘Stay strong,’ I whisper ‘We’ll make it.’

The words don’t feel like mine. It feels like someone else is using my voice to talk to Kim...not to Kim...to me...

But the words do nothing to help, as a gunshot finally hits its target, sending Kim sprawling backwards onto the ground, unnaturally quietly.

‘KIM!’

Flame uses all her strength to pull me away, to a different part of the hill, although there is pain in her eyes as she does so.

‘We have to keep going, Adara,’ she whispers ‘We can’t let our guard down. And we can’t stay there, or we might get hit as well. She’s still breathing. We’ll come back. For now, we can’t let Nightfall and Harvey do this on their own. Please.’

She’s right. I need to go on, for the others. Kim’s too stubborn to die.

Harvey approaches cautiously, but Nightfall shows superhuman courage, running up and pouncing on the attacker.

He ignores the gun and dashes forward with his knife, grabbing the attacker’s gun hand. They struggle, Nightfall not letting go of the hand. An arrow soars past.

I need to stop getting distracted! Flame doesn’t, look! We need to get back to Kim soon!

I join Flame in firing arrows, and Harvey leaps in to help Nightfall.

In a large pull, Nightfall finally manages to wrench the gun away, which looks less impressive now I can see it properly. Nightfall hands it to Harvey in the struggle, who pulls the trigger and-

This is it. I can’t look.

The forest stays silent.


Now. End this suspense.

The forest stays silent.

I feel guilty. It’s like I’ve jinxed it.

‘There’s no more bullets!’ cries out Harvey. Flame looks like she’s on the verge of tears, cursing with words that I didn’t even know existed.

The enemy takes the chance to pick up a knife from the ground, which Nightfall must have dropped in the fight, and knocks Harvey’s knife out of his hand, their triumphant laugh drifting up to the hilltop.

I replace my negative thoughts with desperate, questioning ones.

Wait. I’m holding a bow.

I don’t think I can...but if I don’t...

Flame raises her bow.

As do I.

The person flails and staggers, and then falls to the ground, their hands still clutching their arm. Flame pushes her head through the trees.

‘It’s over.’

I forget about what I could have just done and walk over to Kim. I kneel down and shake her.

‘...Gerroff.’

The effect that one slur of words has on me makes me laugh openly. Flame and I each take one of her arms and lift her up gently.

I look down at her leg. Blood from a wound under her knee is trickling down her shins.

‘Are you okay to walk?’ I ask. Kim doesn’t answer. Flame examines the injury.

‘The bullet isn’t embedded in there,’ she concludes ‘And it’s a shallow wound. Pretty weak gun, if you ask me...’

‘But it hurts...’

BANG!

The sound of a much louder shot ripples through the trees.

We persuade Kim to put her arms around our shoulders quickly and practically have to carry her, trying to run at the same time, which isn’t an easy combination.


The body lying on the grass is in a different position to before, and blood is flowing out at an alarming rate from their back.

Standing behind it are Nightfall and Harvey, opposite five broad-shouldered men.

Nightfall is talking to one of them. He clutches the stolen gun in his hand. I stop abruptly. The other man holds an identical gun.

‘Hey, what are you...’ Flame’s eyes grow wide ‘Oh, no...no...nonono...’

Then, to our greater horror, Nightfall gets his gun and hands it to the man.

‘That moron!’ Flame fights to stop herself from yelling an insult as loudly as possible, compromising by muttering it.

The man shakes his hand and the group walk away professionally. Nightfall notices us.

‘Come on. That’s enough for today.’

As we leave the area, I can hear a voice so faint, I’m not even sure if it exists, apologising. They’re promising to someone that everything will be fine, and they will live to see the Sourceworld again one day.


Endless, Hopeless

‘What. The. Hell. Was. That?’

Flame doesn’t waste time in getting to the point.

‘If we had that thing, we’d be unstoppable!’ she cries out. Nightfall looks pained.

‘Do I ever get a chance to speak around here?’ he asks, head tilted up to the sky, so it’s more like he’s talking to an ethereal being that Flame ‘Those men there were the Eduro.’

This name meets a chorus of “what”’s.

‘The Eduro!’ Nightfall exclaims ‘It’s Latin for...it’s Latin. They call themselves the best in the land, the alliance of all alliances. And from what I’ve seen, I’m afraid they’re right.’ Flame laughs at this, but nervously.

‘Listen to yourself!’ she says, mostly with amusement, but also with a hint of anger in her voice ‘Haven’t you always said it? The position of greatest alliance in the Otherworld is taken! It always was, and always will be, ours, ours only.’

‘By skill, yes,’ he replies ‘But they...two of them are ex-security guards. They must have been protecting something reasonably important, because, although their guns are poor, they’re still guns, they still have them. We can’t compete with that.’ He looks away.

‘I never thought I’d say this,’ Nightfall mumbles ‘We’re done for. Finished. It’s only a matter of time. Did you see how quickly they got that guy when it turned out he was still alive? He’d run away from their group with one of the guns. I cut a deal with them, gave them that gun back in exchange for our safety.’

‘Then we’re safe!’ Kim says, although I doubt she believes her own words.

‘Our short term safety,’ Harvey corrects her gloomily ‘If they see us again, we’re not getting any special treatment.’

‘It’s not fair!’ wails Kim. Flame nods adamantly.

‘There’s still hope, right?’ she asks quietly ‘We could sneak up on them in the night, finish them off, steal their guns.’

‘Think about what would happen if someone tried that with us,’ Nightfall says. Flame thinks.

‘They couldn’t! The person on guard duty would shoot them with a bow as soon as they saw them,’ she replies, her mouth and eyes drooping almost immediately ‘Oh. I suppose it would be the same for a group like that.’

‘Exactly. You can be sure that they will. Only the tactical and cunning are left at this stage. It’s a kind of evolutionary process.’

‘So there’s no way...but to wait around until we die?’


I don’t mean to say this out loud, but I can’t stop it. Does it matter if we’re all going to die soon anyway?

‘It was never going to be that we all got back to the Sourceworld anyway,’ mutters Nightfall ‘Maybe it’s for the best. It saves us the decision of who gets to survive in the end. But I would have given anything for it to be one of us.’

By one of us, does he mean all of us, or just himself and Flame?

‘Any of us,’ I’d forgotten that Flame found it so easy to know what I was thinking. I’m going to have to exercise some kind of control over my thoughts. ‘We didn’t take you in to build an army-‘ Harvey goes red. Eheh. It’s the little things in life.

‘-we decided to for the sake of fairness, so someone young would have a chance to live their life,’ she says ‘And I guess it gives us a bit of a better chance too, but that’s only a small part of it. By the time this is over...what motivated Nightfall and I to try survive in the first place, and not let someone else take our place, was our youth. Life was worth more to us. Although we knew only one of us could return...if the other managed it, that would be good enough, far better, worth far more than the success of some old stranger.’

I finally understand and, more importantly, believe. Harvey was wrong.

I look around.

Nightfall looks weary, Flame looks tortured and Harvey is a mixture of the two.

Kim, the dramatic one, doesn’t.

She looks quite normal and complacent, biting her nails, the brightness chipped, and taking brief looks at her leg, but showing no other sign of discomfort.

I realise that we’ve reached the clearing, and Flame throws down her bow and empties her pockets. She lies face down on her bed.

‘It’s mid-afternoon,’ Nightfall points out.

‘I don’t care,’ Flame says in a trembling voice ‘I don’t care anymore.’ Nightfall reaches his hand out. I think he’s about to take Flame’s but he moves it away in a different direction.

‘Drat,’ he groans ‘It’s starting to rain.’

Rain in the Otherworld seems much worse than at home. Or maybe it’s just because we only have trees for cover.

Harvey suggests to me that we move to a thicker patch of trees. We expect Kim to follow us, but she walks out of the clearing alone without saying anything.

‘What’s she going that way for?’ he asks, bewildered ‘There’s no cover over there. Girls. Er...no offence.’

‘None taken.’


I look around. The clouds have made the forest dark from every angle. I can’t find any light.

No sun. And Star hasn’t come back.

Will she ever come back?

Was she ever even here?

Harvey sits down on the ground, despite it being muddy.

‘This...sucks,’ he says, unable to find a strong enough word ‘That day, all I wanted were some answers. Not to be called insane and pushed away with a bottle of squished flour.’ I splutter.

‘No, it’s ch- er, you too?’ Harvey is nowhere near as surprised.

‘Suppose it’s what they do to everyone,’ he shrugs ‘What do they call pills like that? Placentas?’

Pffft.

‘Let me guess. You don’t pay much attention in class.’

‘I shouldn’t be a doctor, then?’

‘Definitely not. Settle for scrounging off your genius brother.’

‘Hmph. Moving on. There must have been something else in that flour, though. Horrible. I ordered two meals that day, just to get the taste out of my mouth. Well...that, and I was really hungry. Don’t get much in those places, do you?’

A crazy idea occurs to me.

What if there are more similarities with what happened to us that day...?

‘Harvey,’ I say ‘You didn’t...by any chance go to a certain snack bar that day?’

‘Can’t remember the name, but I guess so, that would explain the small portions,’ he says ‘I don’t read. I eat. Must have been the same one. The amount of places where you can buy food around there is ridiculous. Suppose it makes good business.’

Nightfall walks by us.

‘I’m going to go get some berries,’ he tells us ‘I’m starving. I’ll bring some for the rest of you.’

‘Nightfall,’ I say, making him stop ‘On your last day in the Sourceworld...what happened?’ He doesn’t say anything, thinking.

‘Is it too long ago to remember?’ Harvey asks. Nightfall shakes his head.

‘Flame acts like it was so she looks tough, but it wasn’t that long ago,’ he says ‘We arrived the same time. I was sixteen, she was fourteen.’


‘And what happened before you arrived?’ He seems to have forgotten the original question, so I ask again. His face stiffens.

‘It’s a very long story,’ he says in a robotic tone ‘Maybe another time.’ Before we can say anything else, which we don’t plan to, he walks away.

‘I get the feeling it’s a touchy subject,’ Harvey deduces ‘That makes me think that it was different in some way to our experiences. Unless he’s sensitive. I doubt it though.’

That’s when I see it.

The clouds haven’t moved apart at all, but there’s light in the near distance, too far from the sky for it to be the source.

‘Can you see the light over there?’ Harvey scrunches up his face.

‘Can’t see a thing,’ he says ‘Why? Where are you going?’ I’ve stood up.

‘It’s...um...personal.’ I run over to the light.

As I thought, it is personal.

Only I can see her, after all.

‘I’m so sorry, Addy,’ she gulps, clasping her hands together ‘It won’t happen again! I promise! I was just so scared...’

‘No big deal,’ I honestly don’t care. Star seems to glow even more brightly than before.

Her choice of name was pretty good.

‘Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!’ she says until the words become merged together.

‘Yeah, okay, you’re welcome,’ I tell her ‘I just wanted to ask you something, now I have the chance.’

‘You can ask me anything!’ she offers.

‘What do you know about the Otherworld?’ I ask ‘Anything will do.’ Star’s face remains blank.

‘I don’t...I can’t think of...’ she says, crestfallen. Just as I’m about to assure her it isn’t a problem, she suddenly changes, in a way I can’t describe.

She looks more mature, but I don’t know why. Her eyes seem to turn darker, but they stay the same colour.

‘The forest,’ Star says in a voice completely different to her usual one, low, serious and chilling ‘The eternal, inescapable forest. The game will only be won when the forest is smeared with blood, but if the game is won, hope is lost. The supposed, mistaken curse of the demonic forces shall only be broken when


the possessed ones escape the forest, but upon escape, they shall not be free until the past is remembered, and the future is put right.’

I back away.

‘S-Star...?’

And then, it’s like time has just reversed again.

‘I’m sorry, what were you saying again?’ Star beams at me.

‘What?’

‘Addy?’


Part Three- ConfessionsI’m wondering where you are and what you are doing now

Are you at the other side of this blue sky?

There used to be something filling my empty heart

Now I’ve lost it I can see it was you

How you had always been the one that could cheer me up

How you had always given me so many smiles

The price I must pay for what I have lost

Is much too big and impossible to bear

Though I reach out the furthest that I can

And try to bring back the life I would have had

As if it were wind it slips right through my hand

And although I see it I cannot reach

Not knowing what to do and no-one I can turn to

Slowly I feel my heart starts to fade

-Dear you, translated by Sumi & Sane


Tears of the Sky

It’s been one month now, and things seem to be improving slightly.

Only slightly. The atmosphere never recovered from, as Harvey calls it, “The Day Hope Was Lost.”

Although we’re just about clinging onto stability, there aren’t any emotional outbursts, and it’s all calm...

Let’s just say that the so-called calm is the worst part.

Nightfall’s enthusiasm has considerably drained, Flame spends much of her free time sitting behind her bed and sharpening arrows gloomily until the tips break off, and Harvey just finds the whole scene depressing, which doesn’t have a positive effect on him either.

Kim’s change is the one which worries me the most.

She doesn’t talk, unless directly addressed. Even then she tends to be monosyllabic. Her once large stash of dramatic facial expressions have dwindled into one plain one.

A month ago, I would have been thrilled, but now, it’s frightening.

It’s raining again, and she walks out to the same place she always does, despite coming back soaked in rain water every time.

‘Why does she always do that?’

Star doesn’t understand either.

And I understand Star about as well as I understand Kim.

In all honesty, I used to see them both as pretty two-dimensional, but now, I realise there are more sides to them than I ever knew.

I don’t like the new sides.

I want the old ones back.

Star has gone back to normal, instantly. Nearly. There are times when she just curls up in a ball of light, her face concentrating, like she’s trying to remember something.

As we watch Kim’s hair grow limp in the rain, it’s clear that she’s nowhere near her normal self.

‘Tears of the sky,’ I hear her mumble to herself, letting raindrops collect in the palm of her hand.

I can’t take this anymore. I go over to where she stands, Star drifting behind me.

‘Go away,’ Kim snaps.

‘But-‘

‘I’m busy.’


‘Busy getting soaked? Busy catching hypothermia? Busy doing what exactly? Aw, come on...it’s really cold out here.’

‘I told you to go away!’ Her face starts showing emotion again, and I don’t know whether to be happy about that or not.

‘Kim...what’s wrong?’ I try offering her the one thing she’s always loved: sympathy. She doesn’t look at me, and looks up at the rain instead.

‘Tears of the sky,’ she says again.

‘Tears of the sky?’

‘That’s what he calls them,’ Kim explains, a part of her looking infuriated with the rest of her for doing so ‘I mean- it’s none of your business! Go away! Stop interfering!’ Her head falls on her knees.

I start to do as she says, until I hear a soft voice and freeze.

‘The tears of the sky. It’s crying about something. But you can only...when you know...and you can only know when you listen....why...what have we missed...and anyone can...’

Kim looks back up, and draws a sharp intake of breath.

‘GO AWAY!’ she yells, so harshly it seems impossible the softer voice could have belonged to her.

I decide I’ve pushed my luck far enough.

But, walking away, I still hear the voice, the words, clearly.

‘Anyone can...we’re all under the same rain...calling out to all of us...’

And when the voice stops, I listen.


Sienna

I haven’t dared to try to speak to Kim again for a week. I haven’t dared to consider it for much less than that.

I’m not the only one. Only Nightfall seems unfazed, yet even he seems reluctant to talk to her outside of battle.

Unfortunately, in battle, communication is a necessity.

No. Let me try that again.

Unfortunately, there is battle.

My concerns about my friendship with Kim (friendship? What friendship?) pale in comparison to my dread of the battles themselves.

I thought it would take a long time for it to finally happen, for the victor of the Otherworld to be left.

But it turns out, although it’s so big, there aren’t as many people here as I originally thought. Which would have been a good thing before. It’s not so good now, with the guns, it’s just shortening our life-spans. Does it really matter? This isn’t exactly happy fun time.

Although, there are new people arriving every so often, which especially annoys Nightfall. It looks like we arrived just in time. Now there are so few people, both Flame and Nightfall agree that they won’t accept anyone into their group, no matter what the circumstances.

If things had been different, if we’d arrived tonight, Flame would have killed us as well.

Although...

Anyway, the fact remains that Kim and I would have had no chance in the end.

Our rule is now to spare nobody, without exception.

Could I really attack someone in the same situation as I was in? The same situation as Harvey and Kim.

Someone who wouldn’t understand what was going on.

Someone who could have been a friend to me.

‘You look much better now, Addy,’ Star comments. I’m glad to have a distraction.

Today’s “work” is over. Thankfully, we were alone in the forest today.

And now, apart from Star, I’m completely alone. I said I wasn’t hungry, so I could go and talk to Star while everyone else is in the clearing.

It’s night now, and Star’s glow is particularly noticeable...brighter than the real stars. It’s so dark, and the air has this strange crisp smell to it, the smell that you can only get from a natural night.


‘Really?’ I ask.

I’m not so sure, since I don’t feel better in any respect, but I go along with it.

‘Definitely,’ she says ‘For the last few weeks, you’ve been a total...what was it...emu?’

I suppress what I think would have the potential to be a very loud explosion of laughter.

‘Do you feel better?’

‘...Um...not really.’ Star’s face falls.

‘Then I was probably just sensing your capability of feeling better.’

‘Cool. So what can I do to feel better?’

‘Look at the people around you.’

I stop my laughter again. This time, a darker sort of laughter.

‘You’re thinking about it wrong. Not Kim,’ Star says ‘Stop worrying about Kim. When we go back, don’t concentrate on Kim. Don’t concentrate on what’s going wrong. Look at the improvements. Look at the others. Recently, it’s changed. And when you see that, you’ll be happier too.’

I really don’t understand Star. She changes so quickly, from unbelievably immature to inconceivably wise.

‘Adara!’ Harvey calls conveniently ‘Adara? Are you there? There’s some leftover venison if you want it!’ My stomach feels empty.

‘I’ll be right there!’ Star’s silvery eyebrows are raised.

‘What’s venison?’ she asks.

‘Meat.’

‘Oh,’ she says.

As we walk back, she asks something else.

‘You know how vegetables come from the ground, and how fruit grows on trees?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Does meat come from the ground or from trees?’

There’s a stunned silence.

‘...The ground.’


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘It’s a pity we didn’t get that gun,’ Nightfall sighs, looking at his knife ‘Think of the speed and success we’d have! I bet I could take down a person a second!’ Flame gives Nightfall a gentle shove.

‘Like you’d have the gun!’ teases Flame ‘Everyone knows I’m the best long-distance shooter!’

I see Flame’s back to her competitive self. That’s nice to see too. But it’s easy to forget how serious, strong minded and compassionate she can be.

‘Either way...it didn’t happen,’ Nightfall says with disappointment ‘Ah, well. There’s still a chance. After all, we’re us, we’re still here, and we’ve never lost. Even against guns!’

I’m glad to see that it isn’t such a taboo subject as it was.

I look at everyone’s faces, skipping past Kim’s.

Star was right.

‘See!’ she says, looking around affectionately ‘Maybe we can enjoy this time we have! The Otherworld isn’t so bad...’ Her voice tails off as I stare.

‘Apart from the obvious.’

It’s strange. I thought it was certain that I’d hate every last second here, and that I’d hate everything about it too. And I still do hate the Otherworld with a passion.

But am I actually...enjoying this? I despise the battles, but the people I’ve met...

‘Hey, Flame, you never know,’ Nightfall chuckles ‘Tomorrow might be the day you finally prove that you’re greater than me!’

‘Impossible,’ Flame assures him ‘Yes. Since I do that every day, without fail! Gotcha! But still, tomorrow will be the day! Every day is the day!’

‘Every day,’ Nightfall says ‘Because poor little Flame isn’t able to handle any other time.’

If you had to narrow it down to one thing about Nightfall that Flame hates, after a very long time, you’d end up with that.

Even though Flame found us that night, that was a one off. Nightfall said she was on her way back after changing her mind about going out, and she has a secret fear of the dark, especially alone.

Nightfall is the only one who goes out after sunset. He’s taken to using it against Flame whenever they argue over their superiority, saying she would never be able to cope with it for more than five minutes.

‘One day,’ she says, and I’m not sure if she’s talking to Nightfall anymore ‘One day...soon...’

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Harvey’s keeping guard, and Kim is asleep.

Nightfall said that he wasn’t at all tired, so he’s gone with Harvey, and they’re talking very quietly about the new shooter games that have come out since Nightfall left the Sourceworld.

‘Adara? Are you awake?’

Flame sits down by me.

‘You’re saying even less than usual. Anything wrong?’

‘Well-‘

‘Sorry, that was dumb, naturally things are wrong,’ Flame interrupts ‘We’re in the Otherworld. I suppose you think I’m completely cool, strong and don’t crumble under everything because I’m too awesome, right?’ I look back, unsure of what to say. “yes” or “no”?

It’s true, though. I always have seen Flame as

Would she be more offended if I said being a mentally strong person.

Although it looks like I’m about to find out otherwise. It’s like when our school gave out the letter attached to the form begging for voluntary contributions. AKA: here comes the sob story.

Only this time I’m actually worried I might start sobbing. I don’t like the term “sobbing” actually. Not when it’s linked to me. I associate it with weakness and whining, and I hate the latter with a passion. If everyone had a friend just like Kim, so would the whole world (but it would be a pretty sucky world). Well. Just like Kim was a couple of weeks ago. If everyone had a friend just like the present day Kim, we’d hate reclusiveness instead.

Flame looks as if she understands me completely without me saying anything.

A look which I’m used to now.

‘Have you noticed that the ones who act so weak are often the ones with no reason to be weak, the ones with a facade?’ she asks. I don’t think the person that I’m thinking of is catching my attention just because I was thinking of them earlier.

‘Yes.’ Kim hasn’t exactly been nice to me, but it still feels disloyal to use her as an example.

‘And everything has a reverse, an opposite,’ Flame adds ‘Almost always, I’ve found that the ones who...even though they might look fragile to you at first, seem the strongest, the ones who never break down, the ones who never dramatise things...are the most fragile.’

There is a silence.

Not an awkward silence.

But still a silence.


‘And I’m not saying that fits me,’ she says quickly ‘I’ve overreacted plenty of times...’

I understand why my conversations with Flame tend to be very one-sided. There’s nothing I can say to her.

‘Sienna,’ she says suddenly.

What?

‘Well, I’m actually quite sleepy now,’ Flame decides ‘Been nice talking to you...that’s enough for one day. Hope I didn’t sound too whiny?’

‘No...no, you didn’t.’

‘That’s good then. We’ll talk some other time. Sweet dreams!’

Sweet dreams?

Yeah, sure.

Sienna?


Your Fate, My Hands

It’s now Flame’s turn not to say much. It’s as if that one name “Sienna” has changed everything, without doing anything apart from existing.

Whenever I look at her, I can see the name circling around her.

I can’t stop wondering: who is Sienna?

Someone she left behind?

All five of us are guarding tonight. Thankfully, it’s not for a particular reason. Kim was guarding to start with, and Nightfall made excuses to help, a wise choice. Neither I nor Flame could sleep, and Harvey didn’t want to be left out.

‘It’s so cold...’ says Kim, shivering ‘And I’m so tired...’

Kim looks like she’s recovering.

Either that, or she’s so tired that she’s had a brief memory lapse.

‘You’ll live,’ replies Flame. I hope so.

I’m just as tired and cold, but I don’t want to go now everyone else is here. I can’t wait for this night to end.

‘What’s the point?’ sighs Harvey, getting irritated from the lack of sleep ‘Nobody’s going to turn up. Why don’t we all go back?’

‘It’s important that we keep alert,’ Nightfall says firmly ‘One little nap could cost us our lives. It could even be our presence that’s keeping danger away.’ Kim shivers even more, and I think it’s from more than just the cold, as Star’s also shaking. Angels can’t feel cold, can they? That lovely warm-looking glow is making me really jealous.

‘I don’t feel so good,’ Star says.

Flame gets up and points a torch of fire into the distance.

‘Stupid, really,’ Nightfall says ‘Great big beacon of orange light-‘

‘You may say that,’ she gasps ‘But that’s either a large animal or...’ Nightfall grabs the torch from her.

‘That’s not just a large animal,’ he mutters ‘It’s a Wolf.’

A wol-

Oh. I’ll get used to that eventually.

‘Right,’ Nightfall says ‘There’s nothing for it. Snap out of it, the lot of you! I doubt we’ll have any trouble with this one. Flame! Get the weapons!’ For once, she doesn’t object to his bossiness.


I take the bow and the arrows into my hands.

We run to the Wolf, and prepare to...

It’s what I feared the most. It always is. Like this whole thing is designed to break me down.

She looks about nineteen. Or twenty. Probably older. It’s just that she looks so vulnerable. And I’ve never been good at guessing ages.

She’s unarmed, defenceless.

She looks like she’s just arrived.

Nightfall has his knife next to the girl’s throat. Flame is even quicker than, the string of her bow drawn back, the arrow pointing perfectly.

There’s a scream.

But not from the girl.

From Star.

‘Don’t do it!’ she screams ‘Don’t! You can’t hurt her! Not her! Please...anyone but her! Addy...please! This is different! Not her! Please! Don’t let them!’

She’s still alive.

‘Don’t kill her!’ Star begs again, starting to cry ‘Not her!’

Before I can stop myself, I repeat these words, nearly with the same level of pained emotion. Even the girl looks stunned. Not as stunned as me. I can’t say anything else in shock.

‘I don’t want to either,’ Nightfall says ‘But it’s Alliance rules now.’

‘Please!’ Star says ‘I don’t know why! I can’t let you do this! I have this voice in my head...no, not a voice...a memory...telling me not to let her die but...I don’t know! Please don’t! Addy! Nightfall! Flame! Harvey! Kim! Help me! Someone!’

Say something! It’s not that hard...just do it!

But I can’t.

Flame drops her bow to the ground.

Her eyes and mouth are wide open.

‘Did anybody else hear that?’

Did I miss something? Or is it possible that...

‘F-Flame?’ says Nightfall, confused.


‘Not again,’ she says, her shoulders shaking ‘It- it’s here again. The thing from that night...the thing that called me to the bridge...leave me alone!’ She covers her ears with her hands.

‘Flame!’ pleads Star ‘You can hear me, can’t you?’

‘No...’ Flame has curled up on the ground ‘No! You’re not real...I can’t hear. I can’t hear!’

‘Forget about me!’ Star says into her ear ‘Just help her! Or- or the Otherworld will never...you...and everyone else...will die!’

‘Flame?’ repeats Nightfall ‘What’s wrong?’ She breathes in deeply.

‘Let her live,’ she whispers.

I look back at the girl. She seems to be the least confused. There’s fear behind her eyes, but also knowing.

Nightfall looks at the girl too.

‘What?’ he asks incredulously ‘I could understand Adara...but you? What’s got into you? You’ve never done something like this...’

‘And that’s exactly why you should listen...listen to me. This...is different.’ Nightfall raises an eyebrow.

‘I’m not making it up!’ Flame yells ‘You can’t hear it...I can!’

He pockets his knife, and the girl stares up at us all. A stare that would be captioned with “I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing.”

‘Fine. Can’t make that much difference. She’s hardly champion wrestler standard.’

The girl stands up and brushes her clothes clean of grass.

‘This is the place, isn’t it?’ she asks ‘The forest where only the last survivor can return?’

How does she know?

‘Yes,’ says Harvey ‘How did you know that? I thought you’d just arrived.’ The girl looks away.

‘I can’t tell you that,’ she apologizes ‘My name is Ava. I came across this place on my travels.’ Harvey looks disbelieving.

‘That’s strange,’ he says ‘The rest of us all randomly fell asleep and woke up here. How did you even get in here?’ Ava isn’t surprised by any of this.

‘I am not here for the same reason as you,’ she says ‘I am here for...research.’

‘Research about what?’ Nightfall is as reluctant to believe her as Harvey.

‘The Thirteen Demons.’

‘The...what?’ Kim blurts out. I’d almost forgotten she was there.


‘The Thirteen Demons, they’re very important to my quest,’ she replies ‘Would you like to know more?’

‘If you don’t mind telling us,’ Harvey says ‘The weird lady at the PCC mentioned them. Er...she didn’t explain much...and I wasn’t really listening.’

‘The Thirteen Demons of the Earth...nobody knows where they come from, or why, or what form they take, if any form at all,’ Ava explains ‘I have my suspicions, though. But when they arrive, it always seems to be around the same time as...a huge amount of sorrow is caused for an individual. An individual in particular...but much of the time, many more than that. Nothing drastic...but enough to cause far too much pain. They only cease to exist when the problem, and all its branches, are resolved, when the wounds have healed. Twelve demons have been and gone. The thirteenth demon could still be among us. There are probably future demons as well. Only thirteen are confirmed, so for now, we refer to them as the thirteen demons of the Earth.’

‘Can you give us an example?’ asks Nightfall ‘Do you know?’

‘I wouldn’t know,’ Ava says, although she avoids his eyes.

Flame has stood up again, relieved that the voice has stopped. Star is staying quiet, looking guilty.

‘Nightfall, are you sure we can’t take her back?’ Flame pleads.

‘My charity only extends so far.’

‘It’s fine,’ interrupts Ava ‘I need to continue on my journey. Before...she goes too far.’

She walks away quickly, without desire to hear another word.

Star isn’t compelled to stop her, but gazes after her sadly, sad to see her go.

‘I hope that girl knows what she’s doing...’ Nightfall stares.

Flame turns back in the direction of the clearing.

‘I think we’d better go. I have things to...think about tonight.’

Doubts


‘Demons, huh?’

Ever since last night, Nightfall has been in a bad mood.

We’ve just finished eating, and now we’re sitting here listening to his rants about Ava.

‘Load of rubbish. I bet she made that all up on the spot. Research? In the Otherworld? Ha! If that’s true, I’m pretty concerned about what she’s researching for...’

‘I think he should be more open-minded,’ Star says, looking at him furiously ‘And I thought he was cool.’

Nobody else is arguing with Nightfall, for various reasons.

Kim couldn’t care less, I get the feeling Harvey believed Ava’s story (with the exception of the demons), as did I, and Flame, who hasn’t said anything since we came back, looks distracted.

I remember her saying that she had “things to think about.”

Eventually she does say something.

‘Is anyone else tired?’

Anti-climatic much?

Harvey yawns.

‘Yeah.’

‘I’m not,’ Kim says.

‘I’m keeping guard anyway,’ I reply.

‘Okay, but the rest of us should get some sleep now,’ Flame advises them.

‘It’s a bit early,’ Nightfall points out.

‘But I think the lack of sleep’s making you even more annoying than usual,’ she says.

‘Hey! It is not!’

‘You’re proving my point here.’

‘Fine then. I guess a nap might make me feel better,’ he agrees begrudgingly.

Only Kim and I are left on the grass.

‘Are you sleeping or not?’ Flame asks her, with a hint of concealed worry ‘You really should.’

‘No,’ Kim says, back to doing things just to annoy people ‘I can do what I want, and I’m staying right here with Adara.’ Flame tries to persuade her, but Kim keeps refusing until Flame give up.


The whole conversation proves pointless when, around midnight, Kim lies slumped against a tree trunk, making strange warbling noises.

There’s a rustling a few metres away. The moonlight creeps through the tree branches and onto someone.

Flame stands up, looking around. She goes over to me and the sleeping Kim.

‘She’s definitely asleep, isn’t she?’ Flame whispers, her breath hissing like the wind rustling through the trees of this shadow land.

‘Yes.’

She walks to the edge of the clearing.

‘Where are you going?’

‘You should know, if you’ve been listening to any of these conversations recently,’ Flame says ‘Nightfall says I wouldn’t dare to go out and fight after sunset like he does. I say: watch me.’

Star, who I’d forgotten about, wrings her hands.

‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this...nngh...’

Her voice is even whisperier and low, cautious around Flame. Star really is one of the most sincerely nice people I’ve met.

‘What if something happens to you?’ I ask ‘It’s more dangerous at night, isn’t it?’

‘Nightfall manages fine,’ she says ‘I’m just as skilled, don’t you agree?’

I don’t want to argue with her. Maybe she is as skilled, I don’t know, but if I try to compare them, there’s something else about Nightfall that comes to mind. During the argument about weapons, he said that bows were too weak for individual battles.

And I realise another thing, this time said by Flame herself. A good hit with an arrow relies on hitting the right places. The Otherworld is practically light-free. Flame mistakes my doubt over her choice of weapon as doubt over her skill in comparison to Nightfall.

‘Even if you don’t think so, you’re just another person for me to prove this to tonight,’ she says determinedly ‘But you have to promise me that if anyone wakes up before I get back, you won’t tell them. Not even Kim. Especially not Nightfall. If he hears about this...let’s just say that deep down, he wouldn’t think I could manage this alone. I don’t want him interfering. So...promise?’ She looks at me expectantly.

What else can I do? Flame will be fine. Crazy, to go out in such a scary place alone, but fine.

‘Promise.’ I turn my attention to Star. She still doesn’t look happy, but she isn’t reacting in the same way as she did for Ava.

‘I knew I could count on you, Adara,’ she whispers.


‘Are you sure you’ll be safe?’ I ask her. Flame wriggles a little.

‘Yes,’ she says ‘If anything should happen- which it won’t- it would be my own fault, not yours. Got that? My own fault.’

‘Flame?’ She spins around.

‘I thought you knew?’

‘What?’

‘My name isn’t Flame.’

‘Well...I knew that...but what is your name?’

‘I’ve already told you.’

‘...Huh?’

‘Look, now really isn’t the time...I have time to tell you later, don’t I?’

Yes. Of course. She does.

She whispers one last thing, before the branches cover her.

‘I’ll come back soon. I promise.’

The warm air gives me a feeling of comfort and drowsiness. The words reverberate in my mind and tell me that everything will be fine.

Ah, the sigh of the bird that consumed the red fruit, blind to the warning signs

Its mouth and its body are stained and tainted

Becoming dyed to match its crimes

-Infinite Corridor, Tamura Yukari

End This Way


It’s a disappointment to wake up. As usual.

I’ve started sleeping late, just to delay the time until I have to wake up and see this place.

I’m sick of this clearing. I’m sick of the Otherworld. I’m sick of life. I could learn to embrace death. I’ve already learnt. What I can’t learn is how to embrace life. I can’t learn to heal day by day. I’m sick of it.

Ugh. When I wake up early, I can’t sleep again. I start thinking about everything. And then I can’t stop. And it’s not something you can do on the side.

Which means there’s only one option. Here we go.

There it is. Damn clearing.

To think I used to associate it with relaxation and fun. A new life. As opposed to the old, messed up one.

That was a comfort for me.

I am Nightfall. I am the champion of the Otherworld. She is Flame. She is who I am going to succeed in this with. That is all. Nothing else, no-one else matters.

If only it were that simple now.

‘You awake?’

I only then notice that Harvey is sitting up, clearly awake. With these kind of observations, why wouldn’t I have doubts about survival?

‘Yeah.’ There’s a very long pause. I don’t feel a need to say anything.

‘Worrying?’ Harvey asks. I shake my head sarcastically.

‘Tch,’ I mutter ‘How can you not worry in a place like this? Look at it. Look at it, because it might be the last chance you get.’

‘Mm.’

‘And look at us,’ I’m about to lose control of what I’m saying, but I don’t care, I really don’t ‘What are other boys our age meant to be worrying about? How we can’t get girls, I don’t know, at worst about getting beaten up or something. Here, when you get beaten up, you get beaten to death. And I know everyone’s gonna die eventually, Otherworld or not. But at this age we’re meant to feel like we’re immortal. How are you mean to do that here? What kind of life is it where you can’t worry about tomorrow, because you’re too busy trying to keep it alive?’

Harvey just looks at me. I don’t blame him. I’d do the same. But I can’t stop.

‘Not just us, look at those girls,’ I wave my hands at the still sleeping Adara and Kim ‘Just a while ago, they were out shopping. Get that? That’s what girls are meant to do. Not killing. I’m not being sexist here. I’m friends with Flame. You can’t be sexist and friends with Flame. It doesn’t work. I’m saying nobody should have to go through this. Nobody. Ever.’


For once, I’ll even put age aside saying that, although when I do judge by it, it’s clearly for good reason. Because I’m a reasonable guy. I’ve been surrounded by all kinds of judgmental people- all my life- and I decided I didn’t want to be one long ago. I’m open to other people’s opinions. I’ll try and see things from different perspectives.

But I’m blind to this. Again, and again, I fail to see how this could ever be a good idea. Although I wouldn’t exactly mind chucking the sick, sick sadist behind it all in here.

‘Wait. Where is Flame?’ Harvey asks.

Immediately I feel like I have a rope tied around my neck.

I move my eyes around the clearing desperately. The knot keeps tightening. She isn’t there.

I stand up although I can barely breathe, and find the ground I need by instinct. Dirt moves up into my uneven fingernails. Not that I care.

Harvey also pushes himself off his bed, scattering dry grass everywhere.

‘Sorry if I missed something and I sound stupid, but do you know where she is?’ he stares at the knife I’m brushing the dirt off of ‘And why do you need that?’

‘I don’t know where she is, but unfortunately, I could make a good guess at why she’s there. Still there. And that’s why I need this.’ Harvey finally seems to have linked his thoughts with mine, nodding. I brush the dirt back onto the other knives and arrows.

‘Hey!’ he interrupts, confused, but I don’t pause ‘Don’t you want any of our help?’

‘No,’ I reply simply. The objects are far enough beneath the ground for me now, so I look directly at his eyes. ‘I’ve been around here for a lot longer. And it’s better that I...go, than it would be for all of us to.’ That’s when Harvey’s expression changes.

‘You think you’re so great, don’t you?’ he says coldly ‘Yeah, well, you don’t have to play the brave hero all the time. You don’t have to refuse any help, and march out there on your own, just because of your own little game of pride.’

The last part makes it very hard not to flinch.

‘I get it,’ I grab one of his shoulders tightly, and he winces. I feel slightly guilty about using the distinct power inbalance to my advantage. It’s a card I try not to play with good people. ‘But it will be easier for just me to go. Flame is tough. The best hope, if there still is hope, of getting her back is to sneak about. With you not having a clue what you’re doing, Adara worrying so much she can’t even keep track of things, and above all, Kim yowling about everything that moves, I’d rather take my chances alone, because honestly, they’re better.’ Although Harvey does look like he agrees, I don’t wait around, just in case, and run out, knife in hand.

Unfortunately, I didn’t plan things very well, because there was no time spare for that. I’ll be lucky if there’s time for anything.


So where do I go?

Where would Flame go? This is where our close connection can be used to my advantage.

Flame would have been trying to mimic what I would do.

Which brings me back to what I thought originally. This isn’t even funny.

I’m going to follow my instincts. I can’t and shouldn’t overanalyse this. Above all things I shouldn’t start blaming myself. Yet. I’ll be able to do that plenty later, believe me.

I’ll take the route amongst the trees. That makes sense. It’s the safest option, and also the place where the weakest are likely to be. No matter how she acts, behind her constant need to prove herself, Flame is cautious and intelligent, and, although I take many more risks, I’d like to think the same about myself.

It’s still fairly dark, but bright enough to see where I’m going, which gives me an advantage over Flame, who would have tried to leave at the darkest possible time. Right.

I narrow my eyes a little, to make my view less clear. In the dark, it would be safer to continue on a straight path, in order to not waste too much time getting back.

I can’t waste time either.

I was right to refuse Harvey’s help. To refuse any help at all. They would just have slowed me down. They’re nice, and all, but not exactly useful.

In all arrogant honesty, I could “win” against the lot of them in a matter of seconds. I’ve always known that.

I lied. That was the final part of my plan all along. Well. Maybe the penultimate part.

Until I realised that the plan would never get past this stage.

Sure, I’d feel guilty about it too. But sometimes you need to make a few sacrifices. And I don’t have a desire to see this whole thing through. I knew that from the beginning.

I keep fighting because it’s not me who I’m fighting for.

And that’s when I see it through newly blurred vision, and my limbs stop moving suddenly. But that isn’t what makes me stumble.

I don’t care who is out here. I don’t care if I die.

I just want to stay here. With my eyes closed. So I don’t have to see.

I reach out across the dying leaves I feel on the ground. I hadn’t even noticed that I had fallen under the pressure of the pain. I can feel a hand. I clasp it in mine. It’s still warm. Just a little.

But soon that warmth will fade.


Warmth. The one thing I always assumed she’d have.

I keep holding her hand, which feels too limp to be real, and open my eyes finally. Slowly.

There is a knife through her neck. I drop mine immediately. It’s poorly made, and doesn’t look like it has been stabbed through well.

My eyes are now fully open. Hers stay closed.

It wouldn’t have been an instant death. It must have hurt. Yet there is no sign around her eyelids that tears ever fell anywhere near them.

Her beautiful long fiery hair is tangled, and there is a rip in her sleeve. She put up a fight. I didn’t need to be told that.

But, so set in her ways, she would have had her bow and a pocket of arrows. It would have been too dark to aim correctly. All she would have had to defend herself in the end would have been those arrows.

I glance at her pockets now. Empty. So is her hand.

Those and the bow were well made. Naturally they would have been stolen by the attacker. That’s why they left their pathetic knife here.

The hand, still warm. They must be around here somewhere.

I let go of her hand, stand up, pick up my own knife and turn away. There isn’t anything I can do for her now. Except avenge her.

There are patches where the dead leaves and long grass are lower. Footprints. There are two sets that meet here. Only one leads away.

It doesn’t take long to find the culprit. Not that time really matters to me. I’ve got a whole lifetime to do this, and it would be well spent.

It’s a horribly familiar scene, a small patch of land free of trees, although smaller and less sheltered than our own clearing. My clearing.

I wouldn’t have linked the two places if it wasn’t for the people. A girl and a boy, older than me, but only by a little, are perched on the trunk of a fallen tree. The girl has her head leant on the boys shoulder so her dark hair cascades down his back. I clench my knife furiously, even more so when I see that in her hand she twirls Flame’s bow.

But I can tell by her look of admiration, and the physique of the couple, that she is not the one I am looking for.

Or maybe she is.

The boy strokes her hair and stands up.

‘Wait a minute.’


It’s not painful to die. I said I wasn’t afraid of it. But I know what is painful.

There are three ways I can get out of this alive, easily, and they all involve taking action now. I think I’ve already made my decision.

The first one is to give up and go back to the others. That would be pointless, and I’d regret it for the rest of my short life.

The second is to follow the boy. It’s not that I think it would be a problem for me. It isn’t appealing enough.

The third is the one.

I edge around the trees so that I am in the right place, and walk through the branches, not making an effort to keep things quiet. I step towards the girl, until the knife is right by her neck. Her head tilts a little, confused by my sharp breathing, but she doesn’t know that it’s there.

‘Jae? Jae, that’s you, right?’

‘Yeah,’ I mutter ‘You keep believing that.’

And it’s over. I wipe the knife clean on the grass, and grab the bow as well.

It was so much less painful for her than it would have been for Flame.

But it will suffice.

Now I will leave this all behind. Leave it like I have done before. Like it was a dream.

Sadly, if those kids stay for any longer...I’ll have to get rid of them myself. I don’t want them around now. And I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s cruel. So is life. What I’m taking my revenge on. You could say that “it’s all or nothing”.

I am Nightfall. I am the champion of the Otherworld. She was Flame. She is who I am going to succeed in this for. That is all. Nothing else, no-one else matters.

Ashes


Kim stretches her arms out, and glares at me immediately after. Looks like someone didn’t get her beauty sleep.

‘Oh...so you’re awake?’

‘Thanks to somebody,’ she sniffs.

Did my conversation with Flame wake her up or something?

‘Did you hear...’

‘I didn’t hear anything,’ Kim says ‘Just you rolling around all night.’

I fell asleep.

But I...what?

‘Rolling around?’ I repeat, confused. I didn’t know I did that.

‘Yep,’ says Kim ‘Like you were really worried about something.’ I think of Flame leaving.

I can’t tell her that. Flame even specifically said not to tell Kim.

‘Oh.’

‘Ugh,’ Kim says ‘I’m so hungry! Think there’s any chance of breakfast any time soon?’ I stand up and push the branches obscuring my view away.

A clear sunrise covers the sky, the colour of a...

Is she back yet? It’s been a while. Maybe she wasn’t tired when she got back. That’s very likely. Or did she go and brag about it to Nightfall straight away? That’s even more likely.

‘Looks like it,’ I assure Kim, letting the branches spring back into place ‘Have you seen Flame?’

‘No,’ she answers ‘Why? Does she look funny or something?’

‘It’s not that,’ I say ‘Never mind.’

I notice that all the beds are empty. Harvey and Nightfall’s voices trail in from beyond the trees.

Not Flame’s.

Soon Harvey approaches us.

‘Hey, Harvey,’ asks Kim ‘What’s going on?’

‘Er...I...you’ll find out soon,’ he mumbles.

Why does he seem so upset?

Could it be that...


No! It won’t be.

It CAN’T be.

As I stand up and observe the clearing, everything keeps fitting together in a horrifying jigsaw with my suspicions.

Flame isn’t here either. Nightfall is.

Star’s smile has gone, and she looks so sad...as if in mourning.

In mourning.

Ohgodohgodohohgod

There’s a long silence.

‘Adara..?’ says Kim, breaking it ‘What’s going on?’

I don’t want to tell her my guess. Or it will be like a confirmation.

I take another look at Nightfall. He looks pensive, sad and knowing.

‘Nightfall?’ Kim asks, her voice high and trembling ‘What’s going on?! Where’s Flame?!’

Nightfall takes a deep breath and pushes the words out of his mouth with his tongue.

I clasp my ears with my hands so I don’t hear what he says.

Ah, the cry of the night when the fruit of sin ripens under the soft moonlightThose wings and that heart are stained and taintedDyed the color of its sad plight

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s just like that day....

But a thousand times worse.

The four- only four- of us have resigned to a place by the stream. Flame’s favourite place.

‘She drew that on her first week, when she...chose her new name...’ Nightfall stares at some markings carved into the ground. I can see that they’re all in the shape of flames.

‘Why...did you...go?’ he whispers to the ground ‘Why?’

Nightfall’s change, on the outside, is actually the least prominent.

It’s true what Flame said about the people who seem the strongest.


I’m about to explain, but he stops me.

‘I already know. Her pride,’ he confesses ‘She went out to try and prove that she was...for a petty quarrel. And look what happened. Again. I’ll never learn.’ Nightfall laughs weakly ‘That’s what I always told her.’

That he’d never learn? Or something else?

Star, normally the most emotional, doesn’t look distraught at all now.

I look at her, asking her my questions with my eyes.

She looks up at the sky.

‘I’ll tell you if you’ll take me seriously, and I’m not saying this to make you feel better or anything,’ she says ‘I feel like...like she’s not gone forever. Like there’s still a chance for her. As if she’ll come back some day.’

‘Sorry,’ I whisper back.

I want to believe her. But I can’t.

They found her body. She’s definitely gone.

‘It’s not like that,’ Star says, like she’s reading my mind, which hurts even more ‘I didn’t mean that she was still alive. It’s...hard to say. But I’m wrong, so forget it.’

Do the rest of them blame themselves for Flame’s death too?

If things had been different, all of us could have stopped her.

But they weren’t different. There was no way we could have known.

Except for me. I let her walk out of safety.

‘Nightfall,’ I say, as we all look at the engraved flames dancing on the ground ‘F-Flame’s real name...was it...Sienna?’ He hides his face completely from view.

‘Yes. When we arrived...she told me she didn’t want that name. She didn’t want to be Sienna. When we met Ava, when she was on the ground, trying to block out voices that weren’t there...she wanted to escape that kind of thing in her previous life. And when she couldn’t manage that, she wanted to abandon the whole thing.’

Star winces.

It isn’t exactly safe for anyone, really, to be alone this time of night. Well, even if you had weapons.

Flame...no, Sienna...saved us that night. I didn’t do the same. I let her go. It’s my fault.


But if anything should happen- which it won’t- it would be my own stupid fault, not yours. Got that? My own fault.

I hear her voice echoing in my mind. The words she said so near to her demise, I can hear them clearly. So clearly that I look around expectantly.

It would be my own stupid fault, not yours.

It’s as if the memory is speaking to me.

‘Not yours.’

‘Not yours.’

Hope Reborn


‘Just when I thought things were recovering...’

‘Yeah. Exactly.’

It’s good to be able to talk to Harvey, at least. Out of everyone here, although we have our differences, he’s the most similar to me.

‘I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,’ he grunts ‘All I wanted that day was some answers. Not the stinking...whatever it was called. Hunger Games. That’s the one.’

‘The...what, now?’

‘It’s a book,’ he says ‘My aunt got it for me last summer...pretty good, until you end up in the same situation.’ Star is intrigued.

‘Ask him what happens!’ she begs me ‘I love stories!’

‘So...um...what happens...then?’

‘It’s about some televised gameshow run by the government to prevent a rebellion, or something,’ Harvey remembers ‘Yeah...and in this gameshow, you win if you’re the last one alive.’

‘Who would enter something like that by choice?’

‘That’s the point,’ he replies ‘Most of those kids just got randomly picked.’

‘Kids?!’

‘Not really kids, around our age. And then, in the gameshow, they pretty much do the same thing as in the Otherworld. You know. Form alliances, and all that.’

‘And what happens in the end?’

‘Nothing special. What the people behind it intended. Gradually, one by one, they’re killed, until only the winners remain.’

Ouch. I feel as if all the lights have been turned off. As if all the hope has vanished in the darkness.

Eh? Why do I get the feeling I’ve missed something there? Something doesn’t work...

‘Wait...winners?’

‘Oh yeah, in the end, the girl and her friend come up with this plan so the people in charge have to let them both win,’ Harvey says ‘I forget how they did it exactly.’

One of the lights is back on.

‘Would we be able to do the same kind of thing?’


‘I doubt it,’ he says ‘We don’t know who’s in charge here. We have no access to them. And that’s the only way we’d be able to survive, to end the “game” of the Otherworld. But the only person who could do that is the person behind this.’ There’s a small gap in the forest leaves.

A small line of nothing, filled with light, running through the forest where no branches cover it, never ending.

‘Where are they?’

‘Sorry? Who?’

‘The person doing this...’

‘They say that the Otherworld goes on forever,’ Harvey picks the dried mud off his shoe ‘Not forever. That’s impossible. It goes on as far as we know. If you kept walking, on and on...it must stop somewhere.’

‘And where it stops...are they there?’

Then the person causing all of this is under this same sky, standing on this same ground.

What are you doing right now?

Why are you doing this?

‘I don’t know,’ Harvey says ‘They’re out there somewhere. And beyond the Otherworld is somewhere they don’t want us to get to. Even if we don’t find them there, we’ll have saved ourselves at least.’ The lights are fading back on, shining rays of hope reborn.

‘It’s worth a try, then?’

‘Definitely worth a try. We’re going to have to act before anything else happens to any of us.’

‘Let’s get the other two then.’

‘I didn’t mean right now!’

‘I do.’

‘But-‘

‘Don’t you know?’ I ask ‘Don’t you get the sense of a dark presence here? We have to escape it. Now.’

The lights direct themselves towards one place, like a spotlight. I can almost hear the sweet, sharp sound of tumulus applause creep towards me.

The light of hope shines as brightly as the softly smiling spirit girl next to me.

When they arrive, it always seems to be around the same time as...a huge amount of sorrow is caused for an individual. An individual in particular...but much of the time, many more than that.


Nothing drastic...but enough to cause far too much pain.

They only cease to exist when the problem, and all its branches, are resolved, when the wounds have healed...


Part Four- Secret OptionNo, I can’t take one more step towards you

All that’s waiting is regret

Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore?

I lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half-alive, but now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are? Running ‘round leaving scars,

Collecting a jar of hearts, and tearing love apart

You’re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul

Don’t come back for me

Who do you think you are?

Jar of Hearts, Christina Perri


Borderline

Those first days without Sienna were tough for us to get through. And it’s still the same now.

Only our new goal, our new hope is motivating us, pushing us so strongly we can’t stay.

There’s a whole new option we never saw before, waiting to be chosen.

There’s a whole new possibility we never had before. Not only could one of us survive this, but all of us could survive this.

This time, the recovery in personalities is true for all of us, and it looks permanent. I’m determined not to let anything end it again.

It was hard to leave our clearing. It was like leaving the presence, the memory of Flame behind.

When we walked by the stream, next to the drawn flames, I noticed something new.

Carefully and finely carved into the ground, small, but unmistakable, was one word.

Goodbye.

I feel like...like she’s not gone forever.

Yes. I feel the same. Like her spirit is hanging over us, waiting.

I hope she’s staying for something worth waiting for.

We’ve been lucky so far. Apart from a Wolf who scurried away, hid behind a tree and hoped for the best (who we very badly pretended not to see), we haven’t seen anyone.

Our goal is now not to pick fights, but to avoid them until we find a way to stop them. Forever.

I’ve counted the days, and six of them have gone by. When I open my eyes tomorrow, we’ll have been travelling for a week, with no result, no sign that we’re approaching our goal.

Every time I open my eyes in the morning, I hope to see another scene, one of the familiar ones of home.

All I see is the forest.

The seemingly eternal forest of no end, the Otherworld.

And yet we keep searching for this end.

The physical end of the Otherworld.

The end of the harsh game it plays.

Kim has seized a handful of my sleeve, using my arm as an anchor.

‘We’re not going to get anywhere,’ she complains ‘What’s the point?’


‘Meh meh meh meh meh,’ moans Star, in an imitation of her.

‘We will get somewhere,’ I say ‘The Otherworld can’t go on forever.’

‘But it is going on forever.’

‘In just a while, we could be there.’

‘That’s what you said a while ago!’

‘Out of interest, how do you all feel about taking on a group around about, maybe a bit bigger than our size?’ Nightfall asks casually, temporarily sparing me from Kim’s wrath. Harvey considers.

‘It wouldn’t be easy,’ he says ‘I think we might be able to manage it.’ Nightfall looks content.

‘Good,’ he says ‘Because we don’t have much choice in the matter.’

Fantastic.

Six people with bows emerge from the trees on an unbelievably high hill far ahead and start raining down arrows.

This isn’t good.

‘There’s only six,’ Kim says, looking at our faces ‘Aren’t you guys always saying how easily we could manage something like this?’

‘Kim,’ I gulp ‘Do you remember that battle from our last History lesson? In the film we watched?’

‘I didn’t like that film,’ Star says ‘It was really, really, really depressing. I like happy films.’

‘What, the one where the worse-off side won...’ Kim thinks ‘...because they were on a hill?’

‘And why did that help them?’

‘...Because they were shooting arrows down at the enemy? So...er...oh.’

Nightfall pulls at his shirt, realising what I mean.

‘Right,’ he says anxiously ‘I don’t normally encourage fleeing from battle, but, considering several circumstances, I think we should...maybe think about making an exception?’

‘Yes,’ Harvey encourages, a little too quickly.

He points in the opposite direction from the shooters and runs, closely followed.

I can hear something behind us. I already know what it is, and I can’t bear to look back.

‘They’re running after us!’ Nightfall looks back.

‘Ack!’


A few gruelling minutes later, he looks back again and the archers are nowhere in sight. So we switch to walking.

‘Can’t...we rest...for a while?’ puffs Kim. It’s like holding a very heavy handbag.

‘No!’ snaps Nightfall ‘We have to get as far away as possible. Until then, don’t even think about it.’ Harvey groans loudly.

‘Is that a fence?’ asks Star, glancing at a shining object in the far distance ‘A metal fence? I wouldn’t think there’d be one of those in the Otherworld.’

‘A what? A...fence?’ I automatically ask.

‘What?’ I hear from every direction.

Nightfall squints at the shining object.

‘I think it is a fence,’ he says ‘Yeah, good eyesight, Adara.’

‘Why do I never get any credit around here!’ Star wails.

‘So is that the edge of the Other-mabob?’ Kim asks, eager at the prospect of rest.

There’s a noise, and we look behind.

The group of archers appear again, pointing their arrows silently, reminiscent of a particularly suspenseful scene in the film from History.

Nightfall doesn’t need to tell us this time, and Kim doesn’t even say anything as we start running again.

After a minute, we have to change to jogging, which doesn’t help that much.

Yes!

The chase had had my full attention, so I didn’t realise.

The fence. The possible border of the Otherworld.

It’s right in front of us.

But it isn’t just a normal fence.

It’s a towering wall of wire, looming above us, five times our height.

Harvey reaches out to it. What exactly he was planning to do, I’ll never find out, as I see the ground, and pull him back.

‘What are you-‘

He sees the burnt and withered plants surrounding the fence.


‘Damn...electric...’

‘This is the worst possible situation,’ says Nightfall, not that we needed to be told ‘And we’re by the border. The electric border. It’s been nice knowing you. The best thing to do now is choose a deity and hope you get lucky.’

‘Can’t we dig a hole and tunnel under?’ Kim squeaks.

‘Not enough time,’ Nightfall says ‘And I’ll bet this thing runs several metres down.’

‘There must be a way!’ Star cries ‘I thought fences all had gates!’

Well, it would be too much to wish for if there was a honking great gate...or would it?

‘You two go along the fence that way,’ I point at Harvey and Nightfall ‘We’ll go this way.’

‘You’re not expecting a gate, are you?’ Harvey says sarcastically, but his constant glancing tells me that he won’t waste too much time arguing.

‘We might as well try it! Any better ideas?’ He sprints down the right side of the fence.

Obviously not.

I drag Kim by her clothes along the left side, ignoring her stumbles. If we get through, I’ll apologise.

Star is gliding in the air effortlessly, watching us sadly.

‘I wish I could run,’ she laments.

‘You...really...don’t.’

‘What did you say?’ asks Kim, nearly tripping over her own feet.

‘I really...hope that we’ll find the gate?’

There’s a call behind us, loud yet distant.

‘WE FOUND IT!’

Star cheers, and it takes all my remaining willpower to restrain myself from joining her as my heart lifts, weightless.

In my hurry to get back, I’d forgotten about the attackers.

‘Eeee!’

Kim screams and I look back at her.

It’s okay.


Although what is it with the Otherworld and shooting people in the foot? I hope it’s not symbolic. Kim struggles to crouch down to remove the arrow, hopefully just from her shoe. I pull harder.

‘Don’t stop, or they’ll get you easily!’

We’re there, the gate, a vast, futuristic, complex machine.

It’s almost nice to see technology again.

Almost.

‘It’s password protected,’ growls Nightfall ‘Of course...but this is ridiculous...there’s some kind of date you have to put in to get past.’

‘This probably isn’t going to get us anywhere, but why don’t we just try every date possible?’ Harvey says.

‘I don’t know,’ Nightfall answers ‘I’m not keen on that. The electric fence...if you get electrocuted for touching the border...’

I walk forward. I look at the empty spaces on the gate.

_ _th _ _ _ _ _

‘What month has five letters in it?’ Kim asks ‘It’s March! I know it...oh...April....’

Star’s eyes are closed.

I will her to open them.

Help me!

She doesn’t open her eyes.

She says something.

She’s not saying it.

But I can still hear the words.

It’s not her voice. It’s the voice of other people I know, with a strange, echoing tinge...

Other people I’ve met in the Otherworld.

One voice rises above the rest.

I press one of the buttons.

1_ th _ _ _ _ _

‘Adara!’ yells Harvey ‘What are you doing? You don’t know what’s going to happen if you get it wrong!’


13 th _ _ _ _ _

‘We might as well take the chance.’

13 th D _ _ _ _ _

‘Have you lost your mind under the pressure?’ says Nightfall, enraged ‘Apart from December, there’s no month beginning with ‘D’! Does that look like it says December to you?’ Star doesn’t open her eyes, but she speaks.

‘Nothing’s happened yet,’ she says ‘Addy...this is the right idea...you know it....’

‘If you know it...keep going,’ Kim says in the closest to encouragement I’ve heard from her for years.

13 th D E _ _ _ _

Harvey reads out the letters worriedly.

‘Adara, listen to me!’ he says ‘You’re lucky nothing has happened. Now let’s go and take our chances against those people back there.’

‘Our chances against them are nothing,’ corrects Nightfall, his face twisting in agony ‘It doesn’t matter either way.’

‘Don’t let them put you off, Addy!’ Star insists.

13 th D E M O _

I press the final key with certainty.

13 th D E M O N

And the gate:

Opens.


Acquainted

‘I’m sorry,’ Harvey says, abashed ‘That was a pretty impressive deduction.’

I just smile.

As frustrated as it makes her, I can’t tell him that my guardian angel deserves the credit.

The gate has closed again, this time with us on the other side, separated from the Otherworld. Nightfall looks back.

‘Strange,’ he observes ‘That place has been my home for almost three years. I think I’m a little sad to let it go.’

I don’t find it easy to see how the Otherworld could be missed.

But...then again...

Leaving behind the Otherworld, to Nightfall particularly, is like leaving behind all the memories created in it.

The victories, the fun, Sienna...

Nightfall curses loudly, using a word that I didn’t even know existed until now.

‘I dropped my knife on the other side,’ he says, searching the gate for a way to open it ‘Wait a minute...’

A few seconds later, Nightfall gives up.

‘I don’t believe this,’ he frowns ‘There’s no way of opening it from this side.’ Harvey kicks a tree stump in annoyance.

‘Ow! My foot.’ Seriously? Those poor feet.

‘So there’s literally no turning back,’ Kim groans.

‘Why would we want to go back?’ I ask.

We’ve travelled so far to get here. This is the only place where we have a chance to save our lives.

‘Fair enough, but we should keep a low profile,’ Nightfall says ‘I’m going to guess that according to the guy in charge, we’re probably not meant to leave the Otherworld.’

‘Does this place have a name too?’ Harvey asks him.

‘Not that I know of,’ Nightfall replies ‘Never even talked about it. In my head, I never called it anything fancier than “the place beyond the Otherworld.”’

Kim sees a wooden post and reads the letters carved onto it.

‘It does now,’ Kim announces ‘Guys, welcome to...Imperia.’


‘To where?’ says Harvey.

‘Imperia,’ I read ‘It sounds a bit like ”empire.” Do you think this could be where the controller of the Otherworld lives?’ Nightfall shudders with rage.

‘I can tell you if it is...’ he clenches his fist ‘I’ll avenge Flame. And all the other people, alive and dead. Everyone who ever had the misfortune of waking up in the Otherworld. I’ll make them regret putting me into this. I don’t care why they did it. There’s no excuse for doing something like this.’

Sienna. I’ve said that her presence still hangs above us, but I wish she was here in person. If we succeed...she was so close to leaving.

The long walk to nowhere begins. It isn’t dissimilar to the walks in the Otherworld. Except we don’t know what we’re looking for.

In the Otherworld, we were searching for opposition. Here, the opposition we search for is much more formidable and powerful, on a possibly unbeatable level.

Now in Imperia, I start to feel more sympathy for the enemies we had in the Otherworld. We were all in the same situation. As we walk in Imperia, there are people only a short distance away killing each other just to get back to their old lives.

They all want the same thing.

We all want the same thing.

And we’ll get it.

I keep hoping to find an instant solution in here. A button we can press that will send everyone back to their old lives. That will revive everyone who has died in this competition.

I look at Kim. I look at Harvey. I look at Nightfall. I look at Star.

They’re thinking the same thing. Wishing for a way to make everything right, like it used to be.

You’re living your normal life. You wouldn’t even think these things happen in real life. Then you go to sleep and wake up in a living hell.

If I ever got out of here, I’d never be able to sleep again.

‘There must be something here that someone doesn’t want us to find. What do you think is out there?’ Kim says, referring to the unending distance ahead. Nobody knows.

‘I can’t see anything,’ Nightfall sighs, looking carefully ‘Though if I had to say something, I’d say...is that...’ He stops abruptly.

‘What?’ everyone else simultaneously asks.

No way.


I thought we’d made it out of the Otherworld situation. Now I highly doubt that.

It looks like we’re not the only ones who escaped.

‘I can see them. I think I remember seeing this person from a distance before,’ Harvey says ‘It’s...that girl Adara and Flame were so protective of.’

‘Ava, the one who knew so much about the awesome demon stories!’ Star elaborates, looking happy to see Ava still alive. Nightfall looks as if he had expected it.

‘If anyone was going to get that password right, it would be her,’ he tells us ‘I still didn’t expect someone else to have got out, though. It wouldn’t be a common password.’ I have an idea.

‘Could it be that she knows the person who set the password?’ I ask, curious ‘She didn’t have the same experiences in the Otherworld as us. She said the Otherworld was just somewhere she came across on a journey. She implied that she was here on purpose, she chose to be here.’ Star puts her hand on her forehead.

‘Working things like that out gives me a headache,’ she complains. Nightfall observes Ava.

‘She’s seen us,’ he reports ‘Let’s stop speculating and just talk to the girl herself.’

Is she going to tell us anything?

Apart from stories?

The way things are going on, it looks like we’re just going to be chasing after leads to nowhere, so I wouldn’t count on it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------‘You’re the Otherworld Youth Alliance people, right?’

...Wait...what?

‘How did you know?’ Nightfall is the only one this makes sense to ‘Sienna and I haven’t used that name for YEARS.’ The name seems to highly embarrass him.

‘I’ve been looking into the anatomy of the Otherworld as part of my quest,’ Ava explains ‘I admire your alliance. For those so young, your success rate is stunning. Much better than any other alliance...discounting the gun-owning cheats. I’m not sure if you knew that.’

Nightfall looks proud.

‘What exactly is this quest you keep talking about?’ I ask hopefully. Ava looks back at me, and is distracted from the question.

‘I’ve especially been interested in you, Adara,’ she says. I nearly fall over backwards.

‘Well, you shouldn’t be,’ Star says haughtily ‘She just takes all my cre-‘


‘In me?’ Ava nods.

‘You have a much greater part in all of this than you think,’ she says ‘I don’t want to tell you...I suppose you know, you’ve seen...but you’re much more than just another person turning up for no reason in the Otherworld. Actually, nobody turns up in the Otherworld out of random selection.’

I would feel happy to be so important...

But I can’t mistake a certain dark tone in her voice.

Is it a good part I have in this?

Or...

Hey, then again, this is the woman who believes in demons.

‘Do we all have something in common?’ Kim asks. Ava looks up.

‘Yes and no,’ she vaguely answers ‘There’s nothing specific linking you. Although strange things have happened which caused you...and unfortunates around you...to be chosen for the Otherworld...’ Her voice fades so the last few words can hardly be heard.

Ava doesn’t say anything more, ignoring Kim when she tries to begin another question.

‘You still haven’t answered the original question,’ Nightfall reminds her ‘What quest?’

Hmm. It looks like she doesn’t have a problem with telling us.

‘Albeit for a different reason, I want the same thing as you,’ replies Ava ‘To stop the Otherworld operation.’

‘And you plan on doing that how, exactly?’ questions Nightfall.

‘By finding the controller of the Otherworld,’ continues Ava ‘The one who began it is also only one who can end it. I’m sure you know this already. Before you ask, this is arguably the work of more than one person. But there is undeniably only one controller, one person in power. It might as well be the work of this person alone. And I don’t know how you found out the password, though congratulations all the same. Imperia is the place to be if you’re serious about this.’

So they’re here, in Imperia. The unidentified person all the Otherworld hate with an abnormal passion. But out of all those in the Otherworld, we’re here.

It’s up to us.

‘Ava?’ I ask ‘Do you know this “controller”?’ Ava doesn’t give a straight answer.

You knew the password, and the way you’re surprised at us guessing it tells me it wasn’t just a lucky guess. You aren’t doing this for the same reason as us.

And now you won’t answer properly.


‘I can see there are things you don’t want to talk about, and it’s pointless trying to make you,’ Nightfall says ‘Is there anything more that you’re comfortable with sharing?’ Ava tries to think of something.

‘I’m sorry, nothing in particular comes to mind,’ she sighs, answering suspiciously quickly ‘But...maybe...would you like to join up with me? I know quite a bit- well, not much at all, although it’s more than anyone else close by does- about this whole thing. However, defence is not really my forte, as you know.’

She gives a tinkling laugh, and I realise for the first time how eerily beautiful her voice is.

‘This isn’t a safe place, and if I don’t live to give this a try, the chances of things being put right...I’m not exaggerating. I’m one of two people who might be able to do this. To my knowledge, the other...person...whether they really exist...depending on who they really are...I need to work harder on my research. I think the old papers are wrong. I’m looking for confirmation, and after that, something much greater. What do you say?’

‘I’m for it,’ says Nightfall ‘We need to do what’s best for all of us. And this looks like it is. I don’t know about the rest of you.’

Harvey agrees.

Kim agrees.

I agree.

Even Star looks approving, glued to Ava’s side.

What is it with her?

‘Then let’s do this. Before that...it’s getting dark. Imperia or not, nobody works as well when overrun with fatigue.’


Dream of a Nightmare

I can’t sleep. It just feels too unsafe around here.

It should. We’ve snuck into the place where the controller of the Otherworld is.

I don’t even know who they are, but I don’t really want to find out.

I have to, though. I have to.

I just need to get up and check that there’s no danger. Or I’ll never sleep. There probably isn’t, there definitely isn’t, but I won’t be able to sleep without checking.

Is that someone over there?

Are they crying?

Not crying. Just.

Shaking, gulping, breathing irregularly.

‘It’s my fault...I killed her...’

The voice. Masked by pain, but still recognisable.

I know who he’s talking about. And not anyone that he’s actually, physically, purposefully killed.

‘Nightfall?’

‘Oh-erm...I was just....’

‘It wasn’t your fault that Flame...Sienna...did what she did,’ I say. He tries to cover his face, even though it’s too dark to see.

‘Maybe, but I shouldn’t have said those big-headed things I said,’ he mutters angrily ‘I should have learnt the first time.’

‘The first time?’

‘This isn’t the first time something like this has happened,’ Nightfall says ‘I’ve made the same mistake before and I didn’t learn from it.’

‘With the same person.’

Sienna?

‘What happened?’ I ask lamely.

‘I can’t tell you,’ he refuses ‘I’m not that person any more. I appreciate your concern. It’s nothing. Go back to sleep. And forget we had this conversation.’


Nightfall turns his back on me. Star looks down on him.

‘Do you really want to know?’ she asks me.

I nod automatically.

She walks towards him, and then vanishes.

Is Nightfall...glowing?

It’s not him. It’s Star.

The glow becomes brighter, and brighter, until the light becomes blinding. I close my eyes...and feel myself becoming lighter, weightless. The light behind my eyelids has gone, replaced by mild darkness.

I open my eyes, and...

...I’m on a bridge?

Bridge.

Star is right beside me, looking as she usually does.

And I look like...

What do I look like?

It’s not just that. I can’t feel either.

Do I not exist? No, that’s obviously wrong and it’s stupid.

‘Star...what did you just do?!’

Am I dead?

‘Shh,’ she whispers ‘You wanted to see this. So concentrate.’

‘What hap-‘

‘You’re dreaming, Adara.’ For once.

‘It’s a very realistic dream.’

‘Thank you. I try. It helps when it actually is real.’

‘It...it’s real?’

‘It was. Do you recognise him?’

Who?

Then I see. I didn’t notice him before as it was dark, and Star, with her brightness, was my natural focus.


He’s a couple of years younger, but unmistakably Nightfall.

‘That’s not Nightfall,’ Star says.

‘Then who is he?’

‘This is the person he isn’t any more,’ she tells me ‘Adara, meet Stevie- I mean Stephen.’

Seriously?

Stephen?

That was unexpected.

It’s a nice enough name, but I just would never have associated it with Nightfall.

This sensation is too unfamiliar. I can’t concentrate on what I’m being shown.

‘Star? What is this?’

‘I told you,’ she says ‘It’s a dream.’

‘But you said it was real!’

‘It’s a real dream. You humans...dumb as dumb rocks...’

‘How did you do this?’ Star flicks her hair up, and it flies through the air more slowly than it should, so that it flies above her head in a strange shape like a halo. I half-expect the Hallelujah chorus to start playing.

‘I’m an angel,’ she puts her hands on her hips ‘Therefore, I can do anything. Now stop talking and look. You wanted to see this, so it’s only polite that you pay attention.’

‘Right,’ Nightfall- it just doesn’t feel right calling him Stephen- says to himself, on cue ‘My story is that I was at a sports club...nah, she won’t believe that...’

‘What’s he talking about?’ I ask. Nightfall doesn’t react to my voice. ‘And why can’t he hear me?’

‘One question at a time!’ Star protests ‘He can’t hear you because we’re in a dream, but he’s in reality. And let’s just say that wherever he was, his mother wouldn’t be happy about it.’

‘I hate crossing this bridge,’ he complains.

‘He can’t tell his friends that,’ Star elaborates ‘Or they’ll recite some distasteful and predictable farmyard animal comparisons.’

I don’t even ask how she knows. This is beyond questioning.

‘Those rails are too low down,’ Nightfall says ‘A fair-sized goat could trip over them.’

Now who’s making the farmyard animal comparisons?


Nightfall keeps muttering.

‘Does he talk to himself a lot?’

‘No,’ Star says ‘It’s not completely accurate. I wanted to make it easier to understand. And to explain.’

In the dark, it isn’t hard to imagine tripping over the rails. There are no streetlights on the bridge.

‘Creepy, this place, isn’t it?’ asks Star ‘From what I’ve seen, only Stevie- and one other person- ever walks here. It’s the fastest route back home for him, and that’s what he needs at the minute.’

The one other person Star was referring to...is that them I can see now?

After recent events, the image chills me and warms me at the same time.

‘Sienna?’ gasps Nightfall.

‘I was going to get him to say this next bit out loud, but it just looked silly,’ Star says ‘The general gist of it is that Sienna is, I quote “my mate’s girlfriend.” That’s how they knew each other. The way his said “mate” talks about him is flattering, since he keeps bringing up all of these great and unusual achievements. And aside from the burping contest he entered age six, he now has a rival in all this stuff. He’s not too bothered about it, but Sienna’s always “out to prove herself”, so he doesn’t want to stop her.’

And the winner for the most quotations in about ten seconds is...

‘Steve?’ Sienna looks so surprised she nearly falls off the bridge. It doesn’t look safe for her to sit on the rails like she is, dangling her legs over the strong river.

‘I don’t care how great your balance is, there’s probably a safer place to rest than half over the river,’ Nightfall warns her. Sienna looks uncomfortable.

Maybe it’s just the rails? I hate sitting on rails, personally. They kind of reverse-squash your-

‘Actually...’ she begins ‘Well, you won’t believe this, Steve, but something has kept happening lately and I...’ She can’t finish and uses one of her feet to point down to the rushing waters.

‘Sienna! What are you, insane?’ Nightfall shouts. Something scary is happening. This situation is too familiar. I’m suddenly seeing myself more as Nightfall, making the memory, the experience almost my own.

‘I think so,’ Sienna replies ‘I’m so glad that you’re here. Please! If I try to jump, you have to stop me! And...um...don’t tell any of your friends, okay?’

‘There’s that pride again,’ Star comments.

One of her legs twitches. Nightfall rushes over and grabs her shoulders.

‘Don’t you even think about it!’ She shifts back reluctantly.


‘When she said that something had been happening recently...’ I tentatively ask ‘Did it by any chance have anything to do with you?’ Star’s mouth twists in guilt.

‘Maybe.’

‘That’s what I’ve been doing all through the last hour,’ Sienna sobs ‘Momentarily sliding my legs down closer to the river to see if I could do it...I couldn’t.’

‘Looks like you aren’t so tough after all.’ He says it in a sympathetic way, but she sees it as an insult.

‘Hey!’ she snaps ‘I could have fallen off this bridge any time I wanted to!’

‘That’s not what you just said,’ Nightfall reminds her.

This can’t end well.

‘He’s forgotten the state she’s in,’ Star wails ‘He hates letting people win like that! Like Sienna’s boyfriend- ex-boyfriend now. He was completely unreasonable and arguing with him was pointless. He wouldn’t listen to anything he said and if all else failed, he threw an adolescent tantrum.’

‘I’ll show you!’ Sienna says now, moving forward dangerously. Nightfall doesn’t do anything.

‘Why isn’t he stopping her?!’ I know it’s already happened, but it’s horrible to watch.

‘He knows that’s what she wants,’ Star says.

‘I didn’t do anything wrong, or try to insult you. I’m not admitting I’m wrong, Sienna,’ he tells her ‘I won’t even apologise. I didn’t do anything. Accept it or not. But if you jump off that bridge, I won’t stop you. Don’t think I’ll regret it.’

‘He lied,’ Star whispers.

I breathe out in relief as Sienna moves back onto the rails and doesn’t say anything.

‘Let’s go home,’ Nightfall suggests ‘I’ll walk you back, okay? When you wake up, this will be that little more far behind. Tomorrow morning, the first day of the rest of your life begins. Come on.’ She stands up and staggers a little.

I think it’s because she’s tired, but then I see her left foot is on the other side of the railings, half off the bridge. Nightfall runs to catch her, but she falls with a shriek.

No. She hasn’t fallen yet. Her hands are hooked onto the bottom rail and she’s swinging above the raging torrent.

He reaches out to her slowly.

She lets go with her left hand and reaches up. She’s just a grasp away from safety.

And then it’s like all the horrors and memories have come flooding back, one after another. From the way she looks up at him, I can see the last one as vividly as her.


‘Sienna!’

The hand only brushes against her. She’s proved his words wrong and I can’t see her above the river.

I wake up in a cold sweat.

Amongst those sleeping is Nightfall.

It was only a dream.

I shake him gently. It looks like he wasn’t really sleeping.

‘What is it?’ he looks worried ‘What happened?’

‘Nothing,’ I say ‘Can I tell you something?’

‘Okay,’ he agrees ‘What?’

If anything should happen- which it won’t- it would be my own fault, not yours. Got that? My own fault.

Despite everything, Nightfall smiles.

‘Did she tell you?’ he asks ‘Sienna. Did she tell you about how we got here?’

‘Um...sort of.’ If it had something to do with my dream, it’s the only way I can explain my knowledge of it.

‘I must have sounded like a prat in her version,’ he says ‘Do you know what happened after she fell?’

‘What happened?’

‘I fell, too,’ Nightfall’s lip twitches ‘I jumped in to try and save her. Unfortunately, the current was too strong. I remember being dragged ashore, but I must have passed out, because when I opened my eyes again, I was here...well, there.’ He points in the rough direction of the Otherworld.

‘And the same thing happened to Flame?’

‘Things were still a bit awkward at first, but after a few weeks, they were better than before. Since it was so normal again, the petty quarrelling and competition was back to normal as well. I did what I specifically said never to do.’

I say Sienna’s words again.

‘Maybe she’s right,’ Nightfall admits ‘Thanks, Adara’,

He looks up to the sky, concentrating on the brightest star he can see.

‘Thank you, Sienna.’

Before...it was only a dream.


A real dream.


You Again

It had only taken three days for doubts to grow to a noticeable size.

I continuously hope that we’re not going in the wrong direction. We have been travelling without a break in between the sunrise and sunset. There is no way of telling how far we’ve gone, but it is certainly a distance of great proportions. It doesn’t look like there are any signs of change, either. It’s like walking across the same place over and over again.

Even worse, is there a right direction?

Is Imperia really the control centre of the Otherworld? How can we be sure that what we’re looking for even exists?

I’m pretty fed up with all this. The only way to reveal the truth will be to carry on. Time, waiting is the only answer.

Painful times of uncertainty and mental divides.

Turning back is hardly an option. Yet going forward hasn’t done much so far.

The place we give up could be the last place before success.

Imperia.

In the Otherworld, we knew what was going on. It wasn’t safe, but we knew what was going on, what dangers we faced.

Here, in Imperia, we have no idea. That’s what makes it more dangerous.

Everything is so calm and empty. Not peacefully calm and empty, more like when the tide goes out before a tidal wave.

I suppress all my urges to abandon hope. Harvey said yesterday that when we lose hope, that will be just before the time we get somewhere with all of this.

If that’s the case, I want to lose hope right now.

Nobody has actually said much for a while. It started off as small silences. Then when that happens and nobody else speaks, it’s hard to break the silence.

Of course, there’s the essential phrases, and expressing our weariness. Although that’s fading out as well.

Even Star, who’s always had plenty of- mostly- positive things to say, has kept almost silent. It’s not for any big dramatic reason. It’s just because there’s nothing more we need to say.

Or is there a chance that I...and the rest of us...

Are we not saying anything because we’re afraid of fear itself?


Afraid of it being contagious? Of it spreading like fire, tree to tree, destroying the entire forest. Because we’re scared that what we’d say would frighten each other...and ourselves?

The silence is a bit relieving. We’re not making too much noise. But I haven’t seen any signs of other life around here.

Still. This place doesn’t feel completely deserted, although it suggests the contrary outright...

The only sound is footsteps. Footsteps and breathing. There are no other sounds in Imperia, no other noise from any living thing, almost as if life is a foreign concept.

‘Stop!’ commands Nightfall without warning, speaking for the first time today ‘There’s something moving ahead! Until we figure out what it is, stay completely still!’ Kim absent-mindedly yawns loudly.

‘And silent!’

Oh, sure, you listen to him.

The shadow in the distance is anything but clear.

Nevertheless, one thing is apparent. It’s a human.

How many times is this going to happen?

Nightfall waits for the figure to turn before he creeps forward a few steps, mimicked by me, Harvey and Ava. Kim is a little behind due to how tired she is, but realizes what’s going on. A few steps is all we manage before the person turns back in our direction and we freeze in our predictably ridiculous stances. Kim, trying to balance on one leg, comes very close to having a broken nose.

Ava’s eyes are wide open and unbelieving for a hardly noticeable section of time. But then she blinks and when her eyes open again they are no different from mine.

They’ve seen us! Now what?

And unexpectedly, like a scared wild animal, the person runs into the trees and out of sight.

Nobody knows what to say, though Kim doesn’t seem so sleepy anymore.

‘Well, I don’t know what to do,’ Nightfall says ‘Want to follow him?’

‘Or her,’ I add. Nightfall looks at the sky, smiling.

I can see it. That reminded him of Flame. I’m glad that the sadness and blame has given way to open appreciation of her memory.

‘Could be either,’ Harvey says ‘Whatever they were wearing, I’d say it wasn’t exactly revealing.’ I look at Ava, checking if she knows any more than we do. By the looks of it, she obviously doesn’t.

‘This is something I can’t help you with,’ Ava confirms ‘Never seen anyone who even resembles him or her, even wearing that robe thing.’


The lack of speech that follows goes unnoticed. Arguing thoughts are loud enough to replace it.

‘Are we going to go or not?’ Harvey manages.

‘Might as well,’ Nightfall says.

What’s up with Star? She’s deep in thought. And she’s not one of the people that do this when something big is going on.

She shakes herself into reality.

‘Addy,’ she says ‘Didn’t that person back there look a bit like someone to you? To Harvey even?’

‘Harvey,’ I give it a try ‘Are you sure you they didn’t look like someone?’

‘Darth Vader?’ Harvey answers, not really thinking.

Now he’s actually trying to remember. The difference is clear.

‘The...erm...’ he struggles ‘The weird woman from the Paranormal place!’

He’s right...it was!

Two feelings rise up in me. One of glee. One of burning rage.

Star applauds overenthusiastically, whooping.

‘Huh?’ Nightfall, Ava and Kim chorus. Star says she wasn’t really listening in the consultation. I can’t recall the woman’s name.

Harvey could hardly remember me, so not much luck there. I don’t think he even had a consultation with her.

That is so typical. I knew I should have taken more interest in the PCC.

A quick explanation is given. There isn’t much detail to go into for the reason that there isn’t much remembered.

‘Mm,’ Ava is thinking ‘This sounds like more than just a money-making scam. Harvey, you said she knew of the demons? A woman who knows so much about the thirteen demons and turns up in Imperia...she can’t be...but she could...’

This thinking aloud is unbelievably frustrating. Thinking half-aloud, anyway. I won’t even try to make sense of it.

‘Aren’t we meant to be going after her?’ Kim asks.

‘...Oh, right.’


Fallen Angel

Nightfall scowls at the trees.

‘I give up,’ he mutters defeatedly, slowing down his pace. I come to the same conclusion after a couple of token glimpses of the area behind the trees.

Then there’s a pause while all of us try to think of what to do next.

‘Should we keep walking anyway?’ Harvey suggests, though even he doesn’t look content with his own suggestion. Kim makes an unenthusiastic humming sound.

Naturally, that’s what we should do. Or is it? It wouldn’t be good to be as tired as I am if something were to happen.

Actually, maybe, just maybe, I want something to happen.

I’m used to the feelings I have now. I want to move on from them. As far as possible away.

Nightfall makes a compromise.

‘We’ll walk into the forest-type area,’ he says ‘And then we’ll have more shade and cover to rest. There’s also a chance that the...whatever you said she was lady will turn up again, but you can uncross your fingers on that one.’

How can I do this? Okay. I could do this if I convinced myself that I’m walking home. Which I could be, in a way, as each step could be taking me closer towards the finale. I don’t even know my chances.

Star has a different approach to me. She doesn’t bother with motivational tactics and just distracts herself, looking at anything that has distant traces of interest. In such a constant, repetitive, plain place, it isn’t at all easy.

‘Trees,’ she mutters simply ‘Trees.’

Trees. Grass. Sky. Absolute brain-killing boredom.

You get the drift.

There’s no sign of anyone but us, so we have to give in and rest.

‘God, it’s cold here,’ Ava unwinds her posh-looking scarf from her neck and re-wraps it around her shoulders. How did she keep those clothes so pristine? Even now, she’d fit in with a group of aristocrats on a business trip.

Harvey and Nightfall have started their usual mundane conversations again, as Ava tries in vain to start a fire.

Leaving me with Kim. Who does her especially irritating trick of staying silent when I least want her to.


I ask a few general questions, which she answers with glowering looks that clearly say “Shut up” or “I don’t care” or “Does this face look bothered to you?” or “I’m imagining I’m whacking you on the head with a giant hammer” and variations.

But then she does say something.

‘Do you like me?’

‘Huh?’ The question catches me off-guard, as it would most people, I’d expect.

‘You didn’t say yes.’ Kim crosses her arms. ‘Yeah. I knew it.’

‘Kim! Of course I like you!’ I say ‘Why else would I hang around with you?’ I expect something like ‘because you have no friends.’ Which is so not true, although it is true that Kim is my only real close friend at school, I’ll give her that. I can think of several friends, much closer to me than Kim, that I bet are missing me dearly.

Hmm. Are they still closer to me than Kim? After all we’ve been through now?

‘Because you’re too nice to tell me to go away,’ Kim says mournfully.

‘No!’ I say it automatically.

But it’s true.

It was true.

Now she’s a part of the Sourceworld, an attachment to the life I left behind.

She’s more than that. She’s Kim.

She’s my friend.

Whatever everyone else thinks of her, whatever I used to think of her, we’ve been through so much together because she’s stuck by me, and I’m proud to say that Kim Tenningway is my friend.

Bleck. I’m going to go throw up about something other than that statement now.

‘Do you really mean it?’ her hazel eyes bore into mine.

‘Yes.’ I don’t want to explain all of my thoughts on the subject, or she’ll laugh at me (I’m laughing at me). Luckily, some of it must have come across in my voice or my eyes.

‘How?’ she looks like she’s on the verge of tears ‘How...when I’ve been so unpleasant to you? To everyone? I’m sorry....you’ve been lovely to me...but I...I...’

The next thing, we’re crying, laughing and hugging.

‘I promise I’ll try and be nice to-‘

‘AAIEEEE!’


The high, chilling, piercing scream pushes me over.

Hey! Who was that! These moments don’t come along very often, you know!?

‘What happened?’ Kim glances in all directions, listening carefully.

‘D...Did you hear it?’

‘Hear what? Oh...Adara, not you too...’

Then it could only be...

Ava looks triumphant. A large fire is blazing in front of her.

But on the other side of the fire is someone else.

Star is petrified with fear, staring through the fire at Ava, like the light is finally illuminating her, and it’s let her see what she couldn’t see in the darkness.

‘You...you did this! I thought I could trust you! Why...but...I don’t want to remember! I won’t! I WON’T!’

She yells, her voice wavering, switching from different pitches, the familiar high, scared one, and the more sinister one I heard once before. She drops onto her knees, shaking, her glow fading away into the darkness with her.

‘Adara?’

‘It’s nothing...I think it was just a distressed bird.’

The Stranger


For once, I was actually happy to get out one of our temporary camps. Anything to leave all that behind. Even this journey.

‘What happened over there?’ Kim gasps ‘Look, behind the big tree on the left. I think it’s a very big pile of wood.’

As I thought. We’ve run out of even semi-interesting conversation topics.

Is that what she means? It’s a very neat stack, from what I can see. The oak trees are in my way.

Nightfall ignores her comment, walking on, but Ava takes a closer look.

‘That isn’t natural,’ she says ‘Definitely animal made. Not even animal made. Human made.’

With a pang, I imagine Star arguing that humans are animals and we’re just a very prejudiced species.

I haven’t seen Star since she vanished last evening. I’ve tried to conjure her up from my imagination, but it doesn’t work. She was real after all.

I already knew. Since that dream, maybe even before that. It’s lonely without her. I wonder what happened to her? Where is she? Is she still in this world? Does she still exist?

We continue to move closer to the pile of wood and Nightfall suddenly displays interest.

‘That’s...a log cabin,’ he says. All of us except him move quickly towards the cabin, a sign of warmth, shelter, maybe even food.

‘Stop!’ he orders, in a sharp but low voice ‘Don’t make too much noise! It could be inhabited...by anyone. We’ll go up there, check quickly and then think.’

Now I see it, that’s a well-made cabin. It couldn’t have been the work of one person. That scares me. If that cabin’s still inhabited, how many people are in there?

What kind of people are in there?

It wouldn’t be...the controller of the Otherworld?

If it is, which I hope it– well, perhaps not, I don’t know what I hope- you’d think they’d be able to get more snazzy accommodation.

The strongly standing wooden cabin has been reached, and there are, as I expected, no windows.

No windows. It makes sense.

Nightfall presses his ear against the thinnest-looking log on one side for five seconds and then looks exasperated, glaring at the rest of the group.

‘Something’s moving in there, but it could be an insect on the wall,’ he says ‘No way of telling.’ Kim attempts to find a gap between two of the logs and look through. She’s even less successful.


That’s my idea gone too, then. I’d ask about our plans now, but that wouldn’t be very good for the mood .

‘I take it we’re not going to open the door and find out?’ I ask.

‘Yup.’

Ava shrugs and walks to the door. Nightfall pulls her back.

‘Not yet!’ he snaps ‘Not until we’re sure.’ Ava sighs.

‘I’ll humour you.’

Then there’s another voice.

‘Can I help you?’

This voice...

I said that Ava had a beautiful voice.

It’s nothing compared to this. This voice is abnormally captivating, melodic and pure.

It’s definitely not Kim.

I can see what’s about to happen, and I don’t like it.

A young woman is standing behind us, smiling in welcome.

All her clothing is made of black, flowing material, like a shroud of darkness. Her hair is the same colour and glossy, like a hood. A soft, uneven fringe nearly hides her eyes.

Kim almost topples backwards and Harvey and I flinch. Ava looks away nervously and winds a strand of her hair around her index finger.

Nightfall instinctively withdraws Harvey’s knife from his pocket he defensively. Ava is shocked.

‘Don’t do anything!’ she says in fright. Nightfall doesn’t even bother with a response. The stranger doesn’t stop smiling.

‘Welcome. My name is Eternity. I admire your vigilance, but I only wanted to invite you in,’ she says innocently, looking at the cabin.

Should we?

There are such clear reasons against it...but, if it’s the worst, she’s the only way out of this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------All six of us are sat around the oak table, which blends in perfectly with the other wooden furnishings in the cabin.

Before anyone speaks, two people walk in.


It’s her!

‘Guests, meet Astrea and Zeno, my...friends,’ says Eternity, noticing Harvey and I staring at Astrea ‘How strange. Are you acquainted with them?’

‘Yes,’ replies Harvey ‘She- Astrea- was at the Paranormal Counselling Centre.’ Astrea doesn’t respond. It seems as if there is only one voice in the three people, a little like that old myth.

‘The what?’ Eternity asks sweetly, looking amused ‘Where and what is this curiously named place? I never knew such a thing existed.’

‘It’s not here, it’s in the Sourceworld,’ Nightfall explains, forgetting the term being exclusive to us. Unsurprisingly, she looks at him quizzically.

Something tells me she’d have no clue even if it was a common term. She makes Star look...less like Star.

‘The original place we all come from...?’ he prompts.

‘Shh now, as I can assure you this- I have absolutely no idea what you are referring to,’ Eternity says, rising from her chair and walking to a large container in the corner ‘Water?’

We all gratefully agree, and she pours out water from a large barrel into carved wooden cups. Nightfall swirls the water around his mouth suspiciously with every sip.

‘You don’t come from...’ Kim’s voice tails off. We’re all confused together.

‘I have lived in this cabin all my life,’ she says simply ‘Alone. Aside from my lovely visitors, such as Astrea and Zeno. That is all.’

That doesn’t make much sense.

This woman is weird. It’s like she belongs in Wonderland or something.

Although I don’t know what to say about it. Unfortunately, it’s not just me with that problem.

‘Don’t you have parents?’ asks Harvey after a pause ‘A family?’

‘No.’

‘I mean, did you ever?’

‘No. Did you?’

...Now this is just getting plain stupid.

‘I suppose you’re going to tell me that isn’t possible or something ridiculous like that,’ snorts Eternity.

Ava continues to not say anything, surprisingly awkward.

‘The rest of us all just fell asleep and...we... just woke up here,’ Kim says, suspending judgement on Eternity’s claim, ending the confused silence ‘Well...not exactly here. Not in Imperia-‘


‘Imperia?’

Should have seen this coming.

‘Here,’ Nightfall sighs ‘You didn’t even know the name of this place?’

‘No, but it’s a very cute name.’

Why does she remind me of Star so much?

I bite down on the inside of my cheeks. Now she’s gone, I’d give anything to have her back again.

‘So you’re saying that you’ve lived here, all your life, with no-one apart from these two?’ asks Harvey, shaking his head as he says it.

‘Oh no, certainly not,’ Eternity’s laugh is like soft birdsong ‘There are other people in...what did you call it...Imperia. But Astrea and Zeno are my closest, most trusted confidantes.’

And she confides in them about what, exactly?

‘Friends, you must have had a long journey,’ Eternity says.

‘You bet,’ Kim looks at the door resentfully.

‘As I thought,’ Eternity looks somewhat triumphant ‘I would be delighted to let you-‘

‘No,’ Nightfall replies firmly.

‘Why, you didn’t even let me finish my sentence...’ Eternity laughs again.

Nice voice, infuriating laugh.

‘I knew what you were going to say,’ Nightfall fixes her with his eyes ‘And I’ve said no.’

‘Why not?’ Eternity’s delicate voice becomes a little harsher ‘Are you the spokesman for the entire group? This girl has just confirmed that you have travelled far to get to this humble abode. Anyone would be exhausted. I assure you there is plenty of room for all of you to rest in this cabin. It will be no burden to me.’

‘I said no. Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of that either.’

‘Do you not like my cabin?’

‘It’s not the cabin I’m worried about.’

‘Do you not like me?’ she shows a hint of hurt.

‘It’s not that I don’t like you, as such,’ Nightfall says ‘It’s that I don’t trust you.’

‘Me?’ Eternity’s eyes are large and bewildered ‘You couldn’t think that I pose a danger to you...’


‘But there you have it.’

‘Whether I’m dangerous or not,’ she hisses ‘you’ve got more chance of staying alive in here than you do out there. And let me tell you: when they find you...I’m not issuing this invitation twice.’

Nightfall has been wrong before.

We couldn’t just have relied on his judgement in the past, or Ava would have died.

And although I’m instinctively agreeing with him...I’ve been wrong before too.

This place isn’t all puppies and rainbows like the ...Sourceworld. They’re all out to get you. You don’t want to risk another thing like that again. You’d better come back with me.

Both times, Star put things right. This time, I haven’t got her to save me if I make the wrong decision.

In my imagination, I can’t see her, but I can hear her.

Addy! Trust her! Do something!

The imaginary imitation of her voice has never been so clear.

Light seeps in through the doorway.

This is what makes me act.

‘We should stay.’ Nightfall tries to say several disbelieving phrases at once and starts spluttering. Eternity obviously finds this sight funny, but he doesn’t notice.

‘Are you kidding me? Why would we stay in this...place?’ he asks ‘If you didn’t know, this woman...girl- whatever I’m meant to call her- could be the controller of the Otherworld!’

‘If she was,’ Ava finally speaks ‘Wouldn’t she be who you’ve searched for all along?’ Nightfall stands up, and slams his hands on the table.

‘If you are the controller of the Otherworld...end this!’ he commands ‘Take them back to the Sourceworld! Everyone!’ Eternity doesn’t look at all startled (she’s the only one), but she does look mildly surprised. Astrea and Zeno are watching Nightfall closely.

‘I have no knowledge of, thus, I have no power over, this...Otherworld,’ she rests her chin on her fist ‘Why you seem so eager to jump to the conclusion that I do remains a mystery to me...do I really look like I pose a threat to you? Do you see any weapons? No, I think if I wished to harm you, you would have the advantage.’

It’s true. There are five of us, all armed (with the exception of Harvey, who has yet to have his knife returned to him by Nightfall).

Eternity lives alone in a wooden cabin, in which the best weapon is a misshapen chair. I don’t think her acting talents (I assume), as phenomenal as they may be, would be much use.


‘Approximately how many people are out here?’ Nightfall persists.

‘Including myself, Astrea and Zeno?’ Eternity says ‘There were more, but I think they grew weary of these lands. As of now, precisely three.’

...Did I misunderstand that?

Three?

‘Didn’t you say ‘visitors such as Astrea and Zeno’?’ asks Harvey ‘Suggesting that there are more visitors?’

‘It was only a suggestion,’ Eternity replies ‘I do hate how people jump to conclusions.’ There’s that laugh again.

Someone shoot me.

There’s a clear difference between Eternity and Star in the vibes they give. If Star was warmth, Eternity would be the cold. Not the sharpness of the winter frost, but the cool dew of the morning grass.

Nightfall is beginning to back down, probably thinking that someone this kooky wouldn’t be capable of mass-murder.

‘Excuse me,’ Ava says politely ‘This might be a bit awkward for you to hear. Can we step out for a minute and talk in private?’ Eternity agrees.

‘I await your return.’

Harvey opens the door cautiously, carefully watching what I think are meant to be hinges.

‘We should stay,’ Ava says as soon as the door closes, which isn’t very soon, to all of us ‘If she’s the ruler of the Otherland- Otherworld- then this is a perfect chance to keep an eye on her. If she’s not, although I don’t believe any of that back-story, I think at least one thing she said is true. There are only three people here.’

‘You don’t know that,’ Nightfall argues.

‘Why would she lie?’ Ava asks.

‘To throw us off the trail of the real controller?’

‘You’re just getting desperate now,’ Kim comments. I’m pretty sure that I agree with her on that one.

‘And if that is so, staying with her should give us access to information about the real controller,’ Ava’s argument is solid. Nightfall knows it and he detests it.

He hates letting people win like that!

‘So are we agreed on staying here now?’ I decide to hurry things up. We all know what the result is going to be.


Three variations of the word “yes” come back to me. One reluctant grunt.

‘Let’s go back in now,’ Kim suggests ‘It’s cold. It’s been cold for ages. Now we have a cabin. Let’s use it.’

Unresolved

So we’ve just spent our first night in the cabin.

The fact that all of us are alive and unharmed seriously makes me doubt that Eternity is the controller of the Otherworld, but I’m not letting my guard down yet. That’s something I’ve learnt from this. And there’s a lack of suspects, so she’s the only major one.


Eternity isn’t very talkative and her only hobby I’ve seen so far is sitting in a corner humming various unrecognisable tunes.

I’m not complaining; it’s a nice noise to have in the background. I miss music.

Astrea and Zeno are even less talkative. When they do come in to visit Eternity, she does all the talking, which isn’t much.

But that does make me suspicious. What kind of friendship even is this? If you can class it as a friendship.

Maybe it doesn’t seem strange to Eternity, after living in Imperia her whole life.

What am I thinking?

Yeah, I’d accept that. If I believed any of it.

Ava talks to Eternity the most out of us, out of anyone. They’ve found a mutual interest: the supposed demons.

In fact, is that what they’re talking about now?

‘I’m just saying,’ Ava says ‘You might not want to jump to conclusions on such an important subject. Check your research over, at least.’

No question about it.

‘What’s there to check?’ Eternity asks ‘Vile creatures, demons are. Manipulative, sly, sadistic, life-ruining beasts.’

‘Even that is to be questioned,’ says Ava ‘Do you know for sure that the “demon”’s aims are as dark as they seem?’

Eternity has lost the melodic sweetness in her voice and both women have business-like expressions, talking professionally.

‘Obvious, isn’t it?’ Eternity states ‘The appearances of the demons have always coincided, almost exactly, with these awful breakdowns. These personal breakdowns, every time, escalate into something much worse, something much wider spread, during the period in which the demon is present. And the haunting only ends once the problem is resolved. Hardly a coincidence. With all your research on this, Miss Ava, you should know.’

‘You’re sure? People have seen the demons? They physically exist?’ Ava asks.

‘Yes,’ says Eternity smugly ‘I see your research has not reached the same levels as mine. My previous, various, well-positioned colleagues informed me of such occurrences. Of course, many allegations of sightings, accusations of demonic disguise may have been false. All but one must have been false. Unfortunately...we never did find out which one...’

‘Was this information ever made public?’


‘I simply do not know,’ Eternity responds ‘But yes, these demons, I believe that they take a human physical form. And not just any physical form. A form that could pass for that of an angel. Almost like...an angel’s evil twin.’

‘Do you have any evidence to support this?’ Ava raises her voice defensively. Harvey hums a quick, staccato tune, like a soundtrack to the argument.

‘No,’ Eternity’s voice is as calm as ever ‘However, I do have very reliable testimony.’ The hum grows louder.

‘I’m not certain about your idea of testimony,’ Ava snaps ‘It’s obvious you’ve been in what they call the Sourceworld before. What kind of personal history did you try to shove down our throats?’

Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm...hmm hmm hmm hmm...hmm hmm hmm...

‘Please, calm yourself, Miss Ava,’ Eternity says with her relaxing voice ‘No personal quips. The full story is for another day.’

‘Hey, Adara.’

It’s Kim.

‘Yeah?’

‘Want to go out for some fresh air?’ Kim asks ‘It’s all stuffy in here and it smells of boys.’ She pulls a face and drops her voice. ‘Boys who haven’t washed in days.’

I would have quite liked to hear what Ava said next, but the idea of spending some time with the reformed Kim is even more appealing.

‘Sounds great,’ I step on an impressively dirty grey sock ‘Eurgh. I see what you mean.’

‘That is so typical!’ says Kim, once we’ve managed to get past the door ‘Look at this! No, look, it’s so cloudy I can’t even see the sun!’

It may be very cloudy, but that’s a bit of an exaggeration.

I can see the sun perfectly well. It’s weak, I’ll admit that much, but it’s still the sun.

‘It’s right over there.’ I can’t resist mentioning it. Kim looks.

‘Where?’

That isn’t-

‘I didn’t mean the sun,’ I make up an excuse quickly ‘I meant my arrows. I dropped them. I just realised. They’re over there.’ I cover my uneven pocket with my hand in a (what I hope looks) casual manner.

‘Go get them then,’ Kim speaks in a low, rough voice, imitating Nightfall ‘I don’t care what you all say. We need to be armed.’


‘Hah. Be back soon!’ I call, before Kim has a chance to volunteer to accompany me.

How many times have I done this? As always, the image of Star becomes clearer with every stretch of my legs. But it’s different this time.

Before when I’d seen her, she had been standing before me in welcome.

Now, she’s curled up on the ground, her glow brightening and dimming with every shake, every inconsistent breath.

‘Star...’

‘No...’ she mutters ‘Make it stop...whatever’s happening...to me...’

She’s changed since I last saw her. Hardly, but she has. Her glow is a little dimmer, and somehow...she looks a little less angelic.

But yes, these demons, I believe that they take a human physical form. And not just any physical form. A form that could pass for that of an angel. Almost like...an angel’s evil twin.

I can’t stop myself from asking it.

‘Star? You’re not the thirteenth demon, are-‘

‘NO! You’ve got it wrong! I’m an...I’m an angel!’ It’s a pitiful sight to watch.

‘But Eternity said-‘

‘Eternity?’ she opens her eyes, but shuts them immediately ‘NO! Make it stop...MAKE IT STOP!’

She starts screaming and writhing on the ground, her hair growing tangled and matted in the struggle. The shimmer of her skin rubs off on the grass.

‘I don’t want to remember!’ she screeches ‘I don’t!’ She screams again, a scream that goes on forever.

Her arms and legs thrash out in the air, fighting away an invisible enemy.

She doesn’t look angelic at all anymore. She looks...human.

But it isn’t stopping.

I realise that the pain makes her look as if she’s burning alive. Fire. Hell. Demon.

And I’m not staying to find out what happens next.

I run away from the screams of pain.

I know one thing. I’ve found the demon. And she’s been with me all along.


Lullaby

I can’t sleep.

Knowing that the angel I befriended was really...

‘Adara?’ It’s Kim again. ‘I can’t get to sleep...I’m scared.’


‘Same.’

It soon occurs to me that nobody is asleep. We’re all sitting up in the corner of the cabin, and Eternity hasn’t noticed.

She’s on one of the chairs, her back to us, gazing at something flat in her hand. Several things, all stacked together. One by one she takes the one at the front, and places it at the back.

‘How is it possible...’ she whispers, sounding young and vulnerable for the first time ‘How could a demon...be so easily confused with an angel...?’

My face turns numb. Ava reacts similarly. The rest of them are still trying to decipher what she’s saying.

Eternity whips around, and stuffs the objects in her hand quickly into the pockets of her black dress, so they appear to vanish into the darkness.

‘Friends, what troubles you?’ her usual voice is back, and it makes me want to fall asleep as soon as I hear it ‘Are the blankets too thick? Too thin?’

The so-called “blankets” are made of something very scratchy, so the thickness doesn’t matter to me that much.

‘The blankets are fine,’ Ava and Eternity have somehow either reached an agreement, or at least agreed to disagree ‘It’s just...there’s times when you can’t relax. There are things in the past that you can never forget, and the future is forever affected by them...by what’s happened, and by the burden of the memories.’ I don’t understand what she’s referring to, but Eternity looks like Ava slapped her.

‘Yes...I understand,’ she says, petrified ‘I know that feeling well...my old roommate-‘

‘Aha!’ exclaims Nightfall ‘Roommate...so you are from the Sourceworld!’

‘You can live with people in Imperia too,’ says Eternity sharply ‘My dear roommate and I used to find solace from our troubles in each other’s company. It was a shame when we had to go our separate ways...’

She stays silent, in a trance. Nightfall coughs.

‘If you can’t sleep due to your worries,’ she continues ‘We had devised a kind of lullaby. She wrote it for me during one of my darkest hours. I daresay it helped me. She was always complementing me, but she herself had an amazing singing voice, more so than mine, I feel. Softer. Younger, although we were the same age. I made it my goal to memorise it, so I could return the favour. She was reluctant to tell me about her past, but I had the feeling that...no, I’ve said enough.’

The same sky...the same sky as the Otherworld...I’m still under it. I can’t sleep while I’m still under that sky...knowing what’s under it.

‘Can we hear the lullaby?’ Kim asks ‘I really do miss songs...’ Eternity nods.

‘So do I,’ she says, forgetting her story about never being in the Sourceworld ‘I was an aspiring singer once...it probably would have happened without my...interest in the supernatural. I haven’t sung for


anyone in years, so please don’t expect too much...especially from Darkness In The Day. It’s one of those songs that nobody can quite replicate in all its beauty.’ Her lips tremble for a second, and then they begin to move perfectly controlled.

If the desperate cries,

Of the young carefree time,

Start to call out, and drown you again.

Though the cold wind may rise,

A melody will chime,

Give me your hand, hold on, dear friend,

I’d said that Eternity’s speaking voice was beautiful. But her singing is far beyond beauty itself. Her voice is completely pure and sweet, capturing the lilting melody perfectly.

The brightness of those days,

Becomes obscured with shade,

And turns so endless and haunting again,

Memories are joyful rays,

Don’t let your smile fade,

Give me your hand now, my dear friend,

The lyrics start to get through to me, and I feel calm and sleepy.

I'll sing with you and I will sing for you,

I’ll sing until every cloud moves away,

Turn from your suffering,

Look to fields of hope,

Soon you can leave the darkness deep inside the day.

She blinks a brief hesitation out of her eyes, and sings the next verse, just as hypnotically.

When the desperate cries,

Of the once carefree time,


Start to call out to you and drown everything,

Let those strong cold winds rise,

Our sweet song will chime,

Give me your hand now, don’t be afraid.

She pauses the singing, and instead hums the tune for the next verse. Purposefully wordless or not, the effect is dreamy.

I’ll sing for you this song I wrote for you,

Hoping it somehow helps to move the clouds away,

Hoping it might build a bridge to sweet dreams,

Hoping it helps you to leave the darkness in the day.

As she repeats the second verse, I think about the lyrics more carefully.

...memories are joyful rays,

Forever and always,

Give me your hand now, and hold on...

What happened to inspire this song?

Now the stars are crying,

They sing her requiem,

A requiem...a song sung in commemoration of the dead. I think of Flame. But Eternity never met Flame. So then, who did this song originally refer to?

And say fate draws our path, that fate draws the line,

I notice how different the emotion behind the song has become, so much softer and sadder. But then it changes back to the strong, hopeful mood.

But that’s just what they say, I’ll believe in a way,


To leave the darkness deep in that day.

And I don’t have time to think any more.

Just leave the...darkness in the day...

The last piece of daytime will slips away and I gently fall into a deep sleep.

Part Five- CulminationLook, here she comes now

Bow down and stare in wonder

Oh, how we love you


No flaws when you’re pretending

But now I know

She never was and never will be

You don’t know how you betrayed me

And somehow you’ve got everybody fooled.

Never was and never will be

You’re not real and you can’t save me

And somehow now you’re everybody’s fool.

-Everybody’s Fool, Evanescence

The Hidden Room

The song still echoes softly in my mind as I open my eyes. It’s not easy to see in this cabin. The lack of windows makes it very dark.

It feels…more empty than usual.


There’s Eternity and Ava, probably continuing their demon discussion. I can’t see Kim, which is strange, since she was right by me.

And there’s Harvey, looking at me.

‘Have you seen Nightfall?’ he asks at exactly the same time as I say ‘Have you seen Kim?’

Two sets of “no”’s.

‘Do you think they’re out somewhere together?’ Harvey asks. I check around the cabin again. They’re definitely not in here.

‘If it was any other combination, I’d say yes,’ I reply ‘But Nightfall and…Kim? Seems a bit...well, odd.’

‘Sure it does,’ Harvey agrees ‘It’s too much of a coincidence for them both to be gone, though. They must be. Hey, Ava, have you seen Kim and Nightfall?’ Ava nearly falls off her seat.

‘I didn’t even realize they’d gone!’ she exclaims ‘I’m sorry! I don’t know when it happened…’

‘That’s strange,’ Eternity says ‘I thought that they would tell me if they went out. Such nice children.’

A little patronizing, isn’t she?

‘They must have gone in the night,’ I deduce ‘But why?’ Eternity looks at the uneven floor in horror and stamps on it.

‘The floorboards are playing up again,’ she says ‘Insects get into the cabin…a nightmare, it truly is.’

And a little melodramatic.

Ava stands up.

‘I’m going out anyway, so I’ll have a look for them,’ she tells us ‘They won’t have gone far.’

‘I’ll go with you,’ Eternity offers ‘So we don’t lose you as well. I also need to tell you about the most fascinating-‘

The door closes behind them, and there are just two of us left. Harvey hits a log on the wall, and then tries not to wince.

‘I don’t know if I can put up with this stuff for much longer,’ he groans.

‘Agreed.’

‘I bet you now that they’re not going to come back,’ he says ‘If our previ-‘

I don’t listen to what he says. There’s something scratchy here, and it’s not the blanket. It’s…paper?

It’s a photograph of two young girls on a bench, looking right at the camera lens. The brunette girl on the left is smiling slightly, and the blonde girl to her right is smiling as much as she possibly can, like she’s aiming to get the picture into the record books under the title “Happiest Girl.”


Someone else is in the background, aside from the wide smile being replaced by a slightly jealous look, an exact clone of the blonde girl, possibly a little older. Her twin sister? Or just sister? She looks slightly more mature, although that might mostly be a personality thing.

‘Look at this.’ I hold the photo out to Harvey. He looks closely at the girl on the left.

‘Is that Eternity?’ he asks, tilting the photo back to me.

The girl has the same eyes and the same mouth as Eternity, but much lighter hair and a much rounder face. That would change, though, wouldn’t it? Why else would this picture be here?

‘I think so.’

‘Where did you find this?’

‘Right next to me. In place of Kim.’ The photo drops onto the floor, the wrong way up. Soft, artistic but rushed and slightly uneven lines of writing face me.

Dear Adara (and Harvey),

It’s Kim here. I’m going to keep this note short because I don’t want anyone else to wake up, which is why I’m not saying this to you instead. As soon as you can, both of you have to get out of here. Like now. Trust me. I don’t have enough room on here to explain.

When you go out of the door, turn left and keep walking. You’ll find me eventually. Nightfall isn’t with me, but by the time you read this he probably will be.

See you soon!

Harvey has read the note as well.

‘I suppose we’d better go,’ he says ‘Or I have a feeling we might regret it.’ I read the top line again.

‘She only mentioned us,’ I point out ‘Why not Ava?’ Harvey re-reads the entire note.

‘She said that she didn’t want anyone else to wake up,’ he observes ‘That sounds like she meant more than one person. Nightfall and Kim are gone and this letter is to us. Which just leaves Ava and Eternity.’

‘Maybe she thinks that Ava and Eternity are working together,’ I guess ‘On something that puts us in danger.’

They did seem very close…and there were certain hints from Ava that she could know the controller of the Otherworld…

So was Eternity really the one behind this?

No, is Eternity really the one behind this?

‘We can’t risk it,’ I open the door slightly and look at the surrounding area. ‘We’re going before they get back.’


I keep the photograph in my hand, and push the door fully open.

‘That’s one loose floorboard,’ Harvey calls behind me ‘I’ll just…hey, l-‘ His voice cuts out for a while. ‘Adara? You won’t believe this…’

I reluctantly go over to him.

One of the particularly wide floorboards is sticking up at an unnatural angle. Under it isn’t grass, but empty space.

‘Woah!’

I look into it and nearly fall in.

There are objects in there. They look metallic, as there is a very small shine reflecting off some of them where they catch the light.

‘Only one thing for it.’ Harvey crouches down and puts his legs in the gap.

‘You’re not going to-‘

‘Bye!’ He jumps, I mutter, and there’s a crashing noise, thankfully, almost immediately after.

‘Are you okay?’ It’s too dark, so I can’t see him.

‘Yeah,’ his voice echoes ‘Ouch. I think I broke something there…’

‘Oh God!’

‘No, not part of me, one of the things down here. Hey, I don’t believe this, there’s a switch…’ A click fills the underground room with light. There’s a yell of surprise.

‘What is it?’

The ground is only two meters down. I jump. The light is an advantage and my landing is considerably less painful.

I see why Harvey was so shocked.

The metal objects are knives, and needle-like structures. One is a long leather strap, spiked with metal.

That’s the best part.

I jump back as I see what looks suspiciously like a modern thumbscrew right in front of me. My other side is no better, threatening iron plates in the centre of my vision. I turn to my right. A cattle prod, or something similar. I don’t recognize it exactly, or the instrument on my left, and I don’t want to. The more I look around, the worse things I see. All the objects are various torture devices.

Finally, I see something I want to see.


Without saying anything, I drag the ladder to the opening in the floorboards, lean it and climb up faster than I knew I could. Harvey stays for longer, awestruck.

‘Wish I had a camera.’

What a…boy.

‘Come on!’ I tell him, my voice much higher than usual ‘We need to get out of here! Quickly! Do you know what will happen to you if they get back? Look around you!’

The words finally get through to Harvey and he climbs up, slamming the floorboard down, which causes the ladder to fall with several clatters.

‘Damn,’ he curses ‘Now they’ll know we’ve been in there.’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ I say ‘We’re not seeing them again. Anyway, plenty of the stuff in there was knocked over already. Nightfall was in there before us. I’ll bet Kim noticed he was gone, and saw the floorboard was left up. They were probably driven away by fright. Now come on!’

Harvey doesn’t need to be told again, and I take another glance at the back of the photograph, turning left, on the run again.

End of Time

With no ambience, each step is loud. An equivalent of thunder.

And with thunder comes lightning. Each step, each flash of lightning is a flashback into my time in the Otherworld, in Imperia.

Or these steps could be gunshots. Each step is a trigger. A trigger for a moment to live again.


Click.

These steps seem so linked to my memories because I’ve experienced them so many times before. How many times have I run away from peril now?

Click.

But each time I reach the end of the run, something new is revealed.

A land, a shelter, a friend.

A threat, an enemy.

A friend turned to enemy.

Will it be the same this time?

Will I find what I must seek with all my heart, or what I must avoid at all costs?

But every time, I find something n-

‘Damn it,’ Harvey says, stopping.

It’s the cabin. Again.

‘So somehow, we’ve managed to go around in a big circle?’

‘Yep.’

Hmph. That’s just great. I could have sworn we were going in a perfect straight line. I should have paid more attention to what was happening, rather than what has happened.

And where are Kim and Nightfall?

Where are Ava and Eternity?

‘Anyone in there?’ I ask Harvey, not in a rush, although I should be, to start all over again.

‘Let’s check.’

We both know what that really means.

‘Want to have a break?’

‘You bet I do.’

We run further towards the cabin, and it grows larger as it separates from the horizon.

It’s the same size, right?

The far-reaching malevolent aura is deceiving me, expanding it, taller, wider, and more intimidating now than it has ever appeared.


Deceit. That’s what the foundations of this story have been all along, in so many ways.

And have I found out too late?

Would it have made a difference at all?

Here’s the cabin.

If I ever get back to the Sourceworld, I should take note of this stuff. It would be pure gold in a “What I did at the weekend” essay. And this would be a great story to tell any kids I might have one day. I’m sure it would earn me some respect with them.

I’ll add that to the “Reasons I should keep running even though I think my limbs are going to drop off” pile, and use it to distract myself from the looming “Reasons why I like having legs” pile.

Deceit. I deceived myself with my narrow mind, my false explanations and undoubted expectations.

‘That’s not the same log cabin,’ I say. Harvey’s eyes fall on a certain area of the cabin.

‘That’s not even a log cabin.’ He taps on a place where the wood has worn down. Underneath is unmistakable metalwork.

The door looms above us, much larger than the one we escaped from.

And there’s a handle this time.

‘Are we going to go in?’ I ask. Harvey forces his head down in a nod.

‘We haven’t found Kim or Nightfall,’ he says ‘If something has happened to them, they’re in this building. I don’t think there’s anything else out there.’

‘You’re wrong.’

‘Eh?’

My hand flies slowly through the air. It scans over the cluttered distance.

Cluttered with other cabins.

These cabins are smaller. Much smaller than even the first. However, there’s a clearer difference.

They look uninhabited. Clearly uninhabited, between homes and ruins, but closer to ruins.

‘Something tells me they’re not much use to us though,’ I add. Harvey grabs the handle of the door and wiggles it about.

‘I don’t believe this, the thing’s l-‘

And that’s when it happens.

There are two bangs in immediate succession.


The first is a shot.

The second is the fall.

HARVEY!

This...this isn’t real!

That’s a sentence I’ve heard so many times. And it’s always real...damn.

It feels faint and vague, like I’m floating.

Drowning.

Dreamlike.

Nightmarish.

I stifle my scream.

It’s close by...the cabin...it came from the cabin!

In my mind I see Nightfall crouched on the ground.

I’m looking...at the angle of the hole in the ground...

Okay.

I can’t risk trying the handle. The door is obviously locked.

I can’t run, or that will make a noise. Whoever is in there, they’re not shooting now. I don’t think they heard our conversation. They don’t know I’m here.

This wall is a flat surface. Harvey was trying to open the door. I try to ignore the body on the ground. For now. There’s time for this later.

If I can just find the hole in this wall before they find me...I might be able to get in and avoid the same fate.

Thinking from the shooter’s point of view...to hit the target, after seeing the struggle with the handle...shooting through the door...

There is no bullet hole in the door.

Wait. The door was locked.

So there must be, somewhere, a k-

BANG!

No! It can’t end...like...


My eyes close involuntarily.

A slow chorus of Eternity’s sweet lullaby plays in my mind...

With it, other sounds start to play.

‘Did you see Adara earlier?’

‘Shh, she might hear...it might hurt her feelings...’

I did hear. The idiots...it shouldn’t...but now I remember, it still hurts...not because of what they said, but because I couldn’t stand letting them think that they managed to keep it from me...because it was a pathetic attempt at-

Why am I even thinking about this? I need to stand up! This is stupid talk, I could handle this any day! Especially today, now that I’ve got greater concerns than some immature gossip!

The voices change to my own.

‘Why do you even care? Why are you even asking?’

And again, the voice changes.

‘So I guess it’s just us now. That’s okay! It’ll be fun!’

The same voice speaks again, but sounds so different.

‘I don’t care! It wasn’t nice!’

The simple childhood worries become stronger and darker.

‘Oh, I’m really lucky, ‘cause I know that. I think. I think I’m an angel...’

I know the set of memories that will come back next.

‘Look how dark it is! We’ve missed the bus!’

‘You don’t seem to be getting on...well with Flame. I’m just saying...I don’t think it’s a good idea to annoy her.’

‘I can help! Why can nobody see me? This is so dumb!’

‘Probably just hit his shoe...if it’s a weak gun he should be fine...bruised but fine...’

‘The tears of the sky. It’s crying about something. But you can only...when you know...and you can only know when you listen....why...what have we missed...and anyone can...’

I guess there’s some things I’ll never know. Because they don’t matter now.

Did they ever matter?


It’s no use. I’ve got no reason to cling on now.

I’m sorry...everyone. Everyone. Everyone...it’s...over.

To get my happiness I had done everything

But had done nothing to be blamed and accused of.

The sound of footsteps became louder every day

Then I noticed the fact there was no time.

I was a believer in life to be myself always

And was asking whether I would be alive.

Give me a reason why not to adopt in this way

or judge me to be guilty of so many incurable sins.

Tell me why, or why not...

Complaining way too much

Maybe I overlooked something fatal for me.

-Why or why not, When They Cry

Second Chance...?

...So bright...

It’s all silvery...and so bright...

Is this...heaven?

I take that back. Heaven wouldn’t have a hard floor like this...agh...

That’s enough of that now. Wake up.

There are people right by me. Is that...Harvey?


And Kim? And Nightfall?

It’s really them! All of them...

I’d be more enthusiastic, I’d yell with celebration, but I don’t have the strength yet...

But how is this possible...I thought...

They’re all slumped against the wall. Asleep. They are asleep, right?! I shake away the artificial tiredness and give the nearest body a shove.

‘...What...?’ Kim says grumpily ‘I’m tired...’

I wait for the others to wake up. In the meanwhile I get up and examine the room. One small light hangs from the ceiling. However, it’s still bright in here, because all the walls (and the floor and ceiling) are made from metal. Four of us are here.

Eternity isn’t part of the group. Neither is Ava. So we were right. They are in this together.

I can’t wait any longer. They need to wake up now. I go to them one at a time, shaking them and whispering in their ears. Neither Harvey nor Kim stirs, apart from an unintelligible mumble, but Nightfall opens his eyes and makes an effort to come to his senses. His eyes quickly scan everything.

‘The witch,’ he hisses.

‘Eternity?’

‘Who else?’ he says ‘And that double-crosser, Ava. I swear, when they turn up, and they will, I’ll c-‘ He fumbles with his jacket.

They’ve taken all of our weapons.

‘That witch!’ Nightfall yells. Only this time, he doesn’t really say “witch.”

‘Shh!’ I whisper ‘If they don’t know we’re awake yet, we might get more time to escape.’ He nods.

‘You’re right,’ he admits ‘I’ll take care of the Sleeping Beauties. You try to find an exit.’

I take another look around the room. I don’t see any door, any portal to the outside world. But there must be, of course.

I run my hands around the bottom of the walls as I crawl around.

How is it that we, in particular, survived, Harvey and I? We were both shot, weren’t we? Weren’t we? However this works, I thought it was over. This is my second chance. I’ll use it, and I won’t fail again...

Tranquilisers. That’s why I feel so tired. This feels exactly like before...when we woke up in the Otherworld for the first time...

Did the same thing happen then?


But nothing happened in the snack bar. No shots. Just a collapse. That’s not the only way the drugs could have got into our bodies, though. It was when we were eating...was there something in the food?

Why would they do that? Why us...and nobody else...?

But there was somebody else. Harvey. Why us...? Is there a connection? We were both at the Paranormal Counselling Centre that day. Was that it?

Kim wasn’t.

Maybe they had to drug her food, too, to make sure that the drugs got to me, whichever meal I took...

That works.

So the facts might make sense so far. But it’s not just about the facts. It never was. Why would they choose us, just because we were at a counselling centre? To get rid of us? Because we’re freaks of nature? Because we could be mentally unstable? Dangerous?

I’ve been saying “they.” Who are they? Ava and Eternity...

Is it something else?

Both Ava and Eternity share an interest in the Thirteen Demons of the Earth. If that’s a real interest, a real belief, do they think that one of us could be a demon? But that can’t be true, because I know the true demon.


Each lap of the room, I move my hands upward.

That was a startlingly accurate description. Does she know? But if she knows, then why is she wasting her time going after us?

...you’re much more than just another person turning up for no reason in the Otherworld...

Ava’s words. The words that mean so much, yet mean nothing to me.

Does she know that I can see “Star”? Then if Ava knows, why are they involving so many other people? Eternity was running this operation. Ava knew her before, but only just met up with her again. So Eternity must not know...she and Ava did argue about their research...

But what’s the point in the “game” of the Otherworld? How is that going to solve anything? The Paranormal Counselling Centre...filled with people who have had strange experiences...

Is Eternity looking for me? Trying to kill the person with the ability to see the demon? Trying to kill me?

I’m walking around on the tips of my toes.


If that’s true, how will that solve anything?! The demon will still exist! Unless Star’s existence is directly linked to mine...

I look at the gap between my fingers and the ceiling. I have yet to meet a human who would be able to fit through that gap.

Harvey and Kim are awake now. Hardly. Nightfall frowns at the wall.

‘I’m guessing there’s nothing there,’ he says.

‘You’re right,’ I reply ‘Not that I’ve found. There must be something here though. Or how did we get in?’ Harvey flinches.

‘There is one way,’ he says reluctantly ‘They could have built this place around us. But if that’s true...there’s no way out. There’s no way to survive.’

But I thought I had a second chance.

Is this it? I liked the first ending more. I’d rather have just left it at that now. A nice, quick death. Not a slow one that eats away at you from the inside...

I’m thirsty. And I’m going to be thirsty for a while.

This is horrible. That’s such an understatement, but I can’t think of a word that isn’t. What’s the point? It won’t save us.

And there’s so many people in the Sourceworld I never got to say goodbye to. Not that I’d know what to say...

Maybe it’s better this way.

But if I’m going to start wishing for different outcomes, I might as well dream about the ultimate one. That I get back to the Sourceworld, never to leave it again.

No, even better, that none of this ever happened to start with. And I could just forget about all of it. Well, most of it. There have been precious times too. Only they’re linked so closely to the bad times that I can’t separate them. So maybe I could just destroy the entire chain of them...

I’m playing the scene now, a positive parody. That day, I patiently waited for Kim to finish changing. She finished early, which was great for me. After that, we went and had lunch somewhere else...but where else?

Then it occurs to me. There is no other place that sells food in that area. The closest restaurant I can think of is six miles away.

That’s unusual. I never realised before. Most city centres at least have a couple of fast-food branches, a supermarket or a small takeaway. Normally all three.


This is not fun. The boredom I can just about cope with. But that’s the bottom layer of it. On top, there’s generous lashings of regret, filled with hopelessness, all topped with pure helplessn-

Mmm.

What am I even saying?

I’m so hungry. It’s been a very regular occurrence for weeks, but it’s going to get worse. At least I’ll die of dehydration before it gets too bad.

Who am I kidding? How am I going to stand this? Maybe I should just die now. Save myself from the suffering. Actually...is that the best thing to do anyway?

If I’ve worked things out correctly, without me, the demon will no longer exist. The demon is what’s destroying everything...

It’s the demon’s fault that the Otherworld was created!

So if it goes away, will everything be fine again? Will the Otherworld end?

But that can’t be right. What was it that Ava said? .

They only cease to exist when the problem, and all its branches, are resolved, when the wounds have healed.

It’s not that simple. We have to resolve the problem first...

Wait. Unless...she got it wrong?

What if it’s the other way round? What if the problem and all its branches, or whatever, only can be resolved when the demon ceases to exist?

It would seem the same...but it’s so different!

I feel elated in my discovery, a simple second of happiness.

Then I realise what this means, and I’ve never felt less joyful in my life.

What I’ve worked out makes sense.

If the demon’s existence is directly linked to mine, if I no longer live, neither will the demon...Star. Then the problem, the Otherworld will no longer exist.

Does that mean...

No. I won’t think about it yet. Not until I’m certain.

Eternity controls the Otherworld. And I found a motive for that, to destroy the demon. But then, the Otherworld can’t be the problem! The Otherworld is a solution to the problem...

Or is it more? It’s a solution that has caused a lot of suffering. Is it...a branch of the problem?


What is the original problem?

There’s no way I’ll be able to work that out.

Tell me why, or why not

Complaining way too much

Maybe I overlooked something fatal for me...

It doesn’t matter. I don’t need to know anything else. All I know is that my death is the only way to end this. There, I acknowledged it.

But I can’t wait. The longer I wait, the more damage Star will cause. People are being killed out there, right now. People are dying in this room. If it happens now, they have a chance of survival.

‘Adara?’ It’s Harvey.

Should I tell him the truth? I should do. It will be much worse if he doesn’t know...

I prepare myself to explain.

‘I think I’ve figured it out.’

My mouth stays shut. The words weren’t mine.

They came from Nightfall, kneeling on the floor.

‘You know why all of this is happening?’ Kim asks hopefully.

‘No. But I do know how to get out of here. I’ve found the exit.’

‘Where?’ This word comes from everyone simultaneously, bouncing around the walls with a new found energy.

‘Let’s just say that these girls need some new ideas to fool us,’ he laughs.

‘So where is it?’ Kim says impatiently, painfully like her old self. The ceiling shakes, and a metal tile comes loose, suspended in the air.

Eternity lands in a feline way, in the middle of the room. She stands up and brushes the dust off her legs vainly.

‘Here,’ she smiles coldly, her beautiful voice tainted with cruelty.


The True Demon

One glimpse of her once innocent face, one syllable taken from her once soothing voice, and I can tell you that she’s no better than the real demon.

I thought this was heaven for a brief moment. But if this was heaven, she wouldn’t be in it.

Is this what Star’s like now? No.

Because she’s worse than Star. Eternity was lying all along. Star helped me before.


But that was just to get close to me, to earn my undeserved trust, before her demonic nature overpowered that angelic facade...

I hope I never meet her again. Seeing Eternity like this is bad enough, and we never really got a chance to form any kind of bond.

‘So I was right,’ Nightfall stands to his full height, a few inches taller than Eternity, but less intimidating all the same ‘I was right about you. I knew that we never should have trusted you.’

‘Whatever,’ Eternity replies casually ‘There’s only one person who can fix the past. And it’s not you.’

‘Fine. I can’t change my past,’ he snarls back ‘But that doesn’t make me powerless.’ He pounces towards her. She flicks her arm and he falls back violently, his head hitting the floor loudly. Kim crouches down and shakes him. There’s no response. I stare at Eternity in awe.

It all becomes clear. She flicks a switch in her hand.

‘That’s the cattle prod from the torture chamber,’ I gasp.

‘You fool,’ Eternity cackles ‘Cattle prod? That’s a taser. I thought I might need it...the little brute...’

‘What did you do to him?’ Harvey demands, stifling his anger with fear.

‘A room of idiots,’ she snorts ‘This is a taser. A taser is used for electrocution. Not that it matters to you now.’ Kim feels Nightfall’s neck and then the back of his head, at which she flinches back and winces.

‘He’s still alive, isn’t he?’ Harvey asks her.

‘As I said, a room full of idiots,’ Eternity gets there first ‘This is a surprisingly weak little thing. Your friend merely knocked himself unconscious...ahaha. It’s like watching a particularly useless species die...some poor, little, weak, stupid animals...’

‘Why are you doing this?!’ cries Kim ‘What do you want?’ Eternity looks down at her.

‘Get over yourself. It’s not a movie. I’m not a supervillain and you’re no heroine either. I just want things to be put right.’ She pouts her lips mockingly and contemptuously.

‘You’re doing a pretty bad job of it!’ Harvey can’t restrain himself any longer ‘You’re the closest to a supervillain someone can get, aren’t you? You control the Otherworld, don’t you? That’s not making things right! That’s causing hundreds of people to suffer! Or at least did once...before they died!’

‘Big deal,’ Eternity flicks the switch on her taser on and off lazily ‘It won’t matter...once she gives in...my employees are working on that.’

She...what?

How could she...


‘You’ve found the demon?!’ I gasp. Eternity preens, and giggles a little, looking at the ceiling above us. Then she laughs extremely strongly, flinging her arms out a little, not dissimilar to someone being on an extremely exciting rollercoaster.

‘Yes. And a poor job she did of concealing it, too. Rather abysmal. I hardly needed her to tell me.’ She looks at our blank expressions.

‘You really are the dumbest humans I’ve ever met,’ she says ‘You really don’t know who I mean? Hasn’t anything occurred to you in here? Is anything missing?’

Anything...or anyone? She can’t mean-

‘Ava!’ Eternity exclaims exasperatedly ‘Or the girl who calls herself Ava! This is such a joke...’

‘Ava can’t be the demon.’ She narrows her eyes at me.

‘Really?’

‘Really,’ I tell her ‘Because I’ve met the real demon.’ Eternity wears a look of insincere pity.

‘Dear little Adara,’ she croons ‘You would be the one to say that. My faithful associate Astrea tells me you have quite the capacity for hallucinations. Tell me...did this demon look anything like your precious guardian angel?’ It takes a lot of concentrating on Nightfall’s unconscious form and the taser clutched firmly, like a rattle would be clutched by a child, in Eternity’s hand to stop myself.

‘I suppose you’re not going to let us out,’ I say, unable to fully disguise my fury.

‘At least you got one thing right,’ she winds her hair around her finger ‘I’ll worry about that later. Once Celeste finally agrees to my conditions...’

Celeste?

Probably an “associate.”

Silence.

‘Can you at least explain why you’re doing this?’ Harvey finally says ‘If we’re going to die anyway?’ Eternity clasps her hands together, her eyes glinting with overconfidence.

‘I suppose I could grant you at least that,’ she says ‘Shall I start now? It’s a long story, after all...and I never wanted anyone to go away with a false impression of sweet Ava. Maybe after it, you’ll have some sympathy with my aims.’

‘Dream on.’

The voice comes from the floor. Nightfall crawls up onto his knees.

‘But let’s hear it anyway.’


‘Tell me,’ Eternity approaches Harvey ‘Child, do you have a friend, back in your...Sourceworld. No, not just any friend. A particular, special friend? A best friend?’ Harvey looks resentful of being called a child by someone not much older than him, but answers the question.

‘Yeah,’ he says.

‘And you,’ Eternity turns to me ‘Are you the same?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do you see her, or him, often?’

‘No...not really.’ After we went on to different secondary schools, we haven’t had the chance to spend as much time together.

‘But, had you not arrived here, at some point in the future, you would see your friend again?’

‘Well...yes. Only if I took the bus to-’

‘Enough,’ Eternity orders ‘I don’t care if you have to take a bus, a plane, or a rocket to Mars. It seems clear that he or she’s out there, and if you put some effort into it, you could meet up and skip around happily eating chocolate cake, or whatever it is you do.’

Who does that? I mean, it does sound fun but...seriously? If it weren’t for the fact that I haven’t eaten properly in recent memory and that I’ve spent most of my time running around with Kim attached to my shirt I’d think she was making a remark about my weight or something.

‘Just where exactly are you going with this?’ Nightfall asks.

‘I’m getting to that,’ she sniffs ‘So, you, with the funny name. Ask me if I see my best friend much.’

‘Wh-‘

‘Just. Ask.’ She emphasises each syllable with a click and a subsequent flash of light, which is very persuasive.

‘Fine. Do you see your best friend much?’

‘No,’ Eternity replies predictably.

‘Okay.’

‘No, no,’ she sighs ‘Ask me why.’

‘...Why?’

‘Because it’s impossible.’

‘Would you like me to ask you why that is?’

‘Yes, please.’


‘Why?’

‘Because she’s dead.’ Nobody dares to comment for fear of sharing Eternity’s friend’s fate.

‘We haven’t finished yet,’ Eternity tells Nightfall ‘Now ask me how she died.’

‘Couldn’t you just-.’

‘Couldn’t you just ask?’

‘How did she die?’

‘In a blazing fire, at a petrol station,’ she’s expressionless, unemotional, robotic, despite the subject.

‘Is that all yet?’

‘One more. How do I know this?’

‘How do you know this?’

‘Because I was there.’

Silence.

‘I think we’ve had enough of this preview,’ Eternity says ‘How about I just tell it to you straight?’

‘Yes,’ Nightfall looks like he’s been quite literally dying to hear that question, even if just to use his answer as a semi-insult.

‘Very well. This happened about...seven years ago. I was around sixteen.’

‘So you’re twenty three now?’ asks Harvey. She rolls her eyes.

‘How clever of you. Yes,’ she says ‘Twenty four next week. I try to look younger to lessen suspicion, should anyone get past the gate. As I was saying, I was around sixteen. My friend was still alive at this time. Her name was Catarrhina Dalponte. Catarrhina Dalponte, the most angelic person I’ve ever met and ever will meet.’ And the closest to heaven you’ll ever be, she-devil.

She stays still, silent and statuesque. Nightfall coughs, and her eyes flash dangerously at him.

‘Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for Celeste,’ Eternity struggles a little to even say the name ‘Celeste was Cat’s sister. Older than her by a couple of years, but if they tried, really tried, they could look like twins. Maybe even identical twins. But mostly, they tried to differentiate themselves. It wasn’t so much that they looked alike, more because they were masters of disguise. They had talent. Of course, Celeste was true to her name, and looked perfectly angelic, seemed dignified and polite, where as Cat was more casual, ditzy- in a cute way, of course- and tomboyish. Their real personalities, though...’

She pauses again. Nightfall doesn’t push his luck.



Is she going to say that Celeste was the demon?

Which means that Ava...is Celeste?

‘Cat was pretty genuine,’ she continues ‘She was more caring than she let on. But Celeste...Celeste...I can’t describe it. You won’t even begin to comprehend the depth of it until I tell you what she did.’

‘Let’s hear it, then,’ Nightfall mutters. Eternity hears him, stepping forward, and he goes back hurriedly, expecting another shock.

‘Bless you,’ she looks down at him, overjoyed at his fear ‘Okay. I’ll set the scene. It’s a beautiful sunny day at a school, and a few unlucky students are stuck in Maths.’

‘Oh, the tragedy,’ I think I hear through several layers of clothing.

‘I wouldn’t have a problem with it if Cat was in my class,’ Eternity doesn’t hear this time ‘Unfortunately, although we were only a few weeks apart in birth, she ended up in Year Ten, where I was in Year Eleven. Our school was quite small, and only went up to Year Eleven. Anyway, I was stuck instead with Celeste. Annoyed me to no end.’

‘Why, what did she do?’ asks Kim.

‘Nothing to me,’ she says ‘At that point, it was just the way she acted. The whole year worshipped that girl. It was sickening. They couldn’t see what a fraud she was...it was so obvious!’ The last word is said with extreme anger, but it makes her appear, not intimidating, but like a stroppy teenager, bound by the past, bound to the past.

‘So you just hated her because she was popular?’ asks Harvey incredulously.

‘To begin with, you could say that,’ Eternity admits ‘It was more of the fact that she didn’t deserve it. Because of my close friendship with her little sister, I knew things about her...let’s just say if there was disaster, Celeste Dalponte was behind it...but Cat told me never to tell anyone, and however much I’d love to, I’ll never that promise again. It’s one of the few things left of her. Cat, I mean. There’s far too much left of Celeste. Anyway, that was the year when I’d had enough. Because we only had one year of high school left, I decided to take action.’

I understand her viewpoint, but I’m still trying to see where Celeste turns from a normal (albeit infuriating) human being into a demon.

I’m half-expecting the teenaged Eternity to confront her, and for her to burst into flames and burn the street down, including the petrol station, or something...

Boy, do I have an overactive imagination. Especially when I’m scared.

And if Celeste is the demon, what about Star?


I did say she definitely existed.

She must have! The “dream” I had turned out to be true. Unless I imagined my conversation with Nightfall as well...or remembered it wrong at least...

Do I trust myself? Surely I trust myself more than the woman behind the Otherworld?

Do I trust either?

‘So I might have accidentally...let slip a couple of secrets,’ Eternity looks disgusted with herself, but a bit of smugness lingers in her voice ‘In utmost confidentiality, naturally. I specifically said not to tell anyone.’

‘A bit of a lacklustre comeuppance, then,’ Nightfall comments.

‘I never intended for anything bad to happen,’ she says ‘Unfortunately, the people I told just happened to be the biggest gossips in the school. Imagine that! What a pity, the news spread around the school faster than the latest fad, and soon, Year Eleven and beyond all knew! She wasn’t so loved then...’

‘Wasn’t Catarrhina upset about you doing that?’ I ask. Eternity breathes out suddenly and forcefully, trying to expel the anger from her body.

There goes the last hope of my life being spared.

‘Cat understood it was a mistake,’ she says, her satisfaction regarding her lie diminished ‘That was fine. I mean, she didn’t understand what her excuse for a sister really was...all I was doing was telling the truth! They had a right to kn-’

‘Forget Catarrianna,’ Nightfall cuts the rant off, although not exactly smoothly ‘How did Celeste react?’

‘Furiously,’ Eternity relishes the word, gleeful ‘That little bit of provoking made her show her true personality. Oh, it did more damage to her precious reputation than I ever could. Went straight to the other extreme of the social ladder.’ She basks in the warmth of the memory.

If I know how these things work (which after spending over three years at high school, I’d say I do), releasing such outrageous gossip would have put Eternity in a good position with her peers, that I suspect she wouldn’t have got the chance to step into before.

You know, teenage society is pretty screwed up.

‘And how did Celeste get you back for that?’ Nightfall asks. Eternity looks genuinely impressed.

‘Good. It seems like you’ve got the measure of her.’

‘Thanks to having a good look at you, yes.’ I understand, but Eternity doesn’t- which is good, I suppose.

For a second I wonder whether it’s her I should pity, or Celeste. It’s fighting evil with evil. I don’t want to choose the lesser of the two. The only decent person so far seems to be Catarrhina, and she’s the one who dies.


‘Something more evil than those as young and naive as you could never imagine,’ she says, furrowing her brow ‘She tried to kill me.’

The question is answered.

Eternity’s was a petty grudge. Celeste took a murderous vendetta.

‘You think that’s bad? Scaring you already?’ her eyes glint with what can only be some kind of insanity ‘It gets worse. Obviously she didn’t succeed in killing me. No, she ended up doing something worse. I thought that was going to be a perfect day. Cat and I were invited to this party by a rich mutual friend, Medina. We went there by train. But when we needed to get back, I hadn’t got any money for the train, and Cat had somehow managed to bring some kind of foreign currency...’

Remind me to always buy a return ticket.

...I forgot. I wish, I wish I could go back to worrying about little problems like that.

‘Luckily...or so we thought at the time, a taxi pulled up by the station. And the man driving it just happened to be my cousin. He offered to drive us back, and of course we accepted. It’s not like we had any other option. I’m very grateful to him for that. It would all have been perfect...if we hadn’t stopped for petrol.’

Petrol?

I don’t like this already.

‘He got out of the car to buy something from the shop,’ Eternity’s hand twitches of its own accord ‘And then, with classic timing, she was there. Just a coincidence? I don’t believe anyone tipped her off. But she knew...being what she was...she knew! She didn’t care that her sister was right there. She started on me for “ruining her life”- an exaggeration- using every insult she knew. That took a while. All through it, she was playing with a cigarette in her hand. Completely given up on trying to look like a good human being.’

‘I told her she deserved it, and then, she looked around, in the car, and then her eyes stopped on an extremely large colourful puddle on the ground, right next to the door on my side. Again, she didn’t care that her sister was there. She dropped the lit cigarette into the puddle and scarpered. I didn’t know what was happening until flames were crawling up my door. Cat tried to open her door, but it just hit the pump and wouldn’t open far enough. I had to try it. I opened the door. It was pain...pain you’ll never know. I don’t want to go into details. But the fire didn’t do pleasant things to me. Just as well the surgeons were so adept. After what felt like running through a lifetime of hell, all the errors of my life coming back to me, I collapsed on the ground. Just as well. I didn’t have time to realise...’

Realise that her best friend was burnt alive to ashes.

And her own sister had done it.

Judging from the way she searches around the room, Eternity is probably trying to find something soft to hit. Very hard in a room like this. No pun intended.


Note to self: don’t say anything.

‘Anyway,’ Eternity sounds like someone is strangling her with invisible ropes ‘They put it down to a tragic accident, and never considered looking for the culprit. They thought Celeste had died in the blaze too. She didn’t, of course. I saw her get away. She was gone after that. From where I could get at her. She knew. Whatever it took to track her down, I promised I’d make her suffer a thousand times more. Then I found another reason to find her. I heard about the Thirteen Demons of the Earth.’

‘And you reckon she was the thirteenth, do you?’ Harvey says.

‘It took a while to match things up,’ she recounts ‘I should have recognised it sooner. Once I had my suspicions, I decided to take a college course that would help me learn more. It’s rare that you find these sorts of courses, so with permission from my parents, I moved out and into an apartment. To save money, I split the rent with another student who was willing to help me work this out. She was a good friend to me. Not like Cat, but I wouldn’t have managed without her...not just with my studies, but with helping me get through the tough times. One night I couldn’t sleep, and she wrote me a lullaby.’

‘The one you sung for us?’ Kim whispers.

‘The very same,’ she says ‘Miana was a good writer. She made it up on the spot. And her voice was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. She always said mine was better, but I don’t think so. Well, we started song writing, singing duets on the side of our research. A strange combination, but it worked. We’d have gone further with our singing if I hadn’t had more pressing matters to attend to. From intensive hours of studying, I had discovered the basics of the legend of the demons, what are known as the five rules.’

‘Rule number one- The demon will arrive around the time of the first major event. The first event in this case was Cat’s murder. I think all these events have involved deaths so far. It is only natural to assume that they are the cause of this event.’

What about if there are two demons? That’s it! The idea didn’t occur to me before...

Kim going off without me was hardly a major event, though. Maybe not.

‘Rule two- The demon will have something to do with the event that happened, besides causing it. Celeste was my nemesis and, sadly, Cat’s sister. When I learnt that rule, that was the exact time when I seriously suspected her.

‘Three- The demon will be associated with various paranormal disturbances. Another thing Cat told me was that Celeste had confessed to her some very regular events that definitely count as paranormal disturbances. I also noticed that after the ‘accident’, there were an increasing amount of reports of supernatural sightings, due to a certain change in the spiritual atmosphere. All of you should know what I mean.’

Harvey nods grimly, as do I. Neither Kim- and surprisingly- nor Nightfall follow suit.

‘I don’t!’ they exclaim comically.


‘Interesting,’ she says ‘Well, sometimes we have to take on extras with our real targets. To be safe. But that part of the story is for later. Let me tell you the last rules.

‘Rule number four- when the demon is around, the tragic event of the beginning will branch off into more tragic events. I haven’t seen this happen yet, but I’d like to prevent it.

‘And the fifth, final, most important rule, which I’m sure you’ve heard. The demon will only disappear, ending all escalating trouble, when the problem is resolved, which stops the metaphorical branches growing out of it.’

‘Did you ever consider that this might just be a legend, and there might be, let’s say, no truth in it at all?’ Nightfall snaps.

‘It’s true,’ she stares back into his eyes with equal dislike ‘But not all of it. With Miana’s help, I uncovered the complete truth. They got one of those rules wrong. Rule five. The demon doesn’t always go away because the problem is resolved. The demon can resolve the problem.’

‘WHAT?’

‘I didn’t quite understand how it worked, however, it’s definitely correct,’ she says ‘On all other occasions, it has come to a time when either all the people involved are dead. But I discovered that if the demon chooses to do so, they can not only tie up the loose ends, but prevent everything from fraying in the first place. They can change the past. If I could track down Celeste, and somehow make her do this, then Cat would be alive again!’

‘This is ridiculous...’ I don’t really need to specify who said that.

‘You’re not the only one to disagree with me,’ Eternity tells him ‘So did Miana. Unfortunately we had a severe difference of opinion and she thought I’d got it wrong. She wouldn’t let me take action. I had to go on without her. In secret, I rounded up a group of interested people and organised the plan to make this happen, to catch the demon. Some had known Cat. Some felt sorry for me. Some were curious. Some just wanted to be part of the operation for the sake of it. We had the support of a secret society that specialises in these projects for experimentation purposes. They lent us a very large plot of land that went on for more miles than you could ever dream of. I’ve been in it for years, in case anyone ever managed to get out. They did, which is why you’re in it right now.’

I was partly right. But this is more confusing than I thought, and however much she explains it, it still makes my head hurt...

‘Celeste was, as I’ve said, a master of disguise. Demonic powers or not, we wouldn’t be able to recognise her, so several people were spread out around the country, looking for signs of anything and anyone unusual. I remembered her weakness for the paranormal apparitions and disturbances, that even she didn’t understand. The main way we tried to lure her into the trap was something called the Paranormal Counselling Centre. We took anyone suspicious to the Otherworld. We gave out pills and drugged them. Most of the time we just put in sleeping pills, but it would be too suspicious if we always put narcotics straight in there, so quite a lot of the time, we used the hunger hormone ghrelin instead.’


‘That explains it,’ Harvey says, but looks highly affronted ‘But if you’re looking for Celeste, why did you put me in the Otherworld? Do I look like a girl to you?’

‘Having the powers she did, we could never be certain with gender,’ Eternity says ‘We made sure everyone with genuine-sounding concerns was given the pills. In your cases, the only place for food in the area was a snack bar, coincidentally run by one of our group, who was given information on whose food to mix sleeping pills into. If one person was ordering for more people than themselves, we had to take the lot, to make sure we got who we wanted, and that nobody blabbed.’

And that’s why both of us are here.

‘There were other places like this too, with different methods, but they went down after people started quitting. We have hardly anyone left now. Just a few in PCC branches, and Astrea and Zeno here. Astrea had to quit the PCC recently, after there was a complaint filed against her. She was a little...er, over-enthusiastic with making sure...she succeeded.’

‘Yes, but I don’t care about Astrea,’ Nightfall uses the voice you would use speaking to a bawling toddler ‘I want to know about the acts of evil you committed. That you’re still committing. How is getting innocent people to kill each other going to solve anything?’

‘Patience. Learn it. Love it. Use it,’ Eternity sings ‘Have you been listening to me? Nobody was willing to...let’s say, get their hands dirty. Nobody wanted the threat of the charge of murder hanging over them. I also studied psychology at one point. I know how the human mind works.’

‘You know how to manipulate it.’

‘The demon cannot die, not yet,’ she licks her ominously curled lips ‘Therefore, Celeste is the only one who can survive in the end. And then I was going to make her put things right.’

Horrific images swirl in my recent memory. The underground room.

‘So you’ve been making us fight without a chance of winning!’ Nightfall’s voice is painfully furious ‘Just so you can have your friend back, you’re willing to destroy all of us!’

‘Only temporarily,’ Eternity is still eerily calm ‘Obviously, your resurrection will happen as well, when Celeste gives in.’ The image of the room is expanding, sharpening.

‘Right now,’ I say ‘You’re not...they’re not...torturing her, are they?’ The two bows of her head are so sharp it feels like being pierced with a dagger.

‘You never know, if they succeed before I finish my story, I might not even have to kill you this time round,’ she says ‘Not that it really matters. You’ll be back. Unless...unless they fail...but they won’t! Yes, yes, you’ll all be fine whatever happens. We’ll all be fine.’

Somehow this doesn’t reassure me much.

‘And you’re sure that Ava is Celeste?’ I add.


‘She’s said so herself,’ her teeth show in a chilling grin ‘But she was trying to convince me some other rubbish so I’d let her go. Something about her not being the demon, and the demon being some kind of- it was stupid.’

I can’t jump to conclusions like this!

I can’t bear to think of an innocent person being tortured. Celeste isn’t innocent, at all. But if she’s not a demon, if she’s human...then she’s only human, in both mind and power. Lame, I know, but there’s more to it than that. She’s not going to be able to put things right. And then...then...

Then we should be looking for someone else.

Maybe Eternity is right. Maybe everything she said was true.

But I can’t assume that. I have to believe that she’s wrong...

If we need to be looking for someone else, there’s only one person who comes to mind.

I make the picture up in my mind, and repeat the word.

Star...Star...Star.

I’m sorry! Come back!

Star...

It’s not doing anything. Star isn’t even her real name!

Demon...demon...

No, that’s just dumb. Plain dumb.

The thirteen Demons of the Earth! Eternity! Catarrhina! Cele-

She’s right there already. I was afraid of what I’d see.

I shouldn’t have been.

I’ve got it wrong. She’s much less angelic, yet hasn’t turned any more demonic. She’s just...normal.

Her silvery hair is now dirty blonde, and her glow has diminished. Her eyes aren’t as bright, and she now wears an expression like she’s seen too many things she didn’t want to see. She’s still ghostly, but more real.

‘I remembered,’ she says.

‘I remembered it all.’


Truth

I have a sudden urge to wave my arms about and scream under the pressure that doesn’t belong on me, of all people, hoping someone will take it off me. But I’ll probably just get electrocuted. Not good.

There are so many questions I want to ask, so many answers I need to know. But I can’t. Nobody will believe me, and causing panic is too risky.

I will them all to look away, just for a few seconds. Come on...now! This is urgent!

Eternity starts talking again, and each pair of eyes that flick to hers is accompanied by a change in my heartbeat.


Quickly. Anything. Ask her anything. The first thing that comes into your head...eh...or not.

I mouth the words clearly, putting my hand on the side of my face.

Are you the demon?

‘...Yes,’ she says ‘That’s what they call people like me. But it’s not true. There’s truth in it...but they got the most important thing wrong.’ Harvey looks back at me curiously. I pretend to be immerged in what Eternity is saying.

‘Don’t bother trying to tell me anything else,’ Star stops me when Harvey’s back is turned ‘I’ll explain it all, because I know it all. Sadly, I’m the only one who does. I’ll be quick with this, because we don’t have much time. Let’s start with the basics, shall we? The five rules. That’s right, I’ve been here all along. I just didn’t want to freak you out. You know. The standard excuse.

‘The first rule: the demon will arrive around the time of the first major event. You meeting me was not the event in question. I was around a while before that. Eternity has this bit right, it was my death.’

I nod. I freeze.

Then I almost hit my head on the wall.

‘I think you already know, but my real name is Catarrhina Dalponte,’ she confirms ‘I’m pretty sure I assumed this state directly after the disaster. I’m not the cause of the event, the event is the cause of me. Rule two is a given. I have a lot to do with the event.

‘Three is about paranormal disturbances. Of all people, I shouldn’t need to explain this to you. I admit I may have accidentally...bothered people, namely those in the Otherworld. Some, however, were plainly hallucinating.

‘Four...here’s the one Eternity never understood. In her well-intentioned quest to sort things out, she inadvertently created the branch. The Otherworld is that branch. A branch much worse, so much more horrific than the event itself.

‘Last of all, the “demon” will only disappear when things are resolved. This is the one people get stuck on. I can’t change everything. I can’t change anything until its calm enough. Or it’s too difficult for me. All I can do is...polish up a happy ending. Then my purpose will have been fulfilled. I was left behind in this state, whatever it is, angel, demon, ghost, because of my desire to set all this right. For my friend, my sis, and everyone else. If you want to survive, again, trust me. I only just remembered everything. The memories nearly destroyed me, and ruined my previous fully innocent state, but that’s what finally made me the closest to human I’ll ever be. Turmoil makes us who we are. But I’ll never be able to live again, properly. I don’t think I’ll be able to be alive at all after this, to even exist- in any form. But that’s just me.’

I trust her. As always.

It’s my only chance. And she’s never been wrong before, right?


I risk asking her something else.

What should I do?

‘Etty,’ Catarrhina approaches her friend with a very odd combination of resentment and affection ‘She’s our main problem right now. But there’s a much bigger problem. Forgiveness. We just have to hope that they’ll completely forgive each other, even after being enemies for so long. And if that happens, we’ll have our happy ending. But if we get there too late, without sis, there’s nothing else we can do. Then we’ve reached a dead end.’

I’m pretty certain that hundreds of lives are depending on my next move.

‘...but that doesn’t mean anything now. Because soon, the past will change, the future will change! And Cat will be back, back here! All because of m-’

‘You can’t do that.’ Eternity turns pale.

‘W-Why?’

‘Because she’s already back.’ Harvey, Nightfall and Kim stare at me like I’m crazy, but Eternity does what I’d never have expected.

She looks directly at the spot where her friend is, and falls back, but doesn’t even flinch with any pain. She just stares. Catarrhina stares right back into her eyes, smiling nervously.

Then, with a strangled voice, Eternity doesn’t break the stare ‘She’s right here...isn’t...she?’

‘It’s about time,’ sighs Catarrhina.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I told Eternity everything that Catarrhina had told me. She believed it. Maybe because it had all come from the one person she would believe.

‘That was good thinking,’ Nightfall says in a hushed voice, patting me on the back ‘But what are you going to do when we find Ava? Maybe it could work. They seem delusional enough so-‘

‘I wasn’t lying!’ I insist ‘Catarrhina’s been right by us all the time!’ Nightfall backs away hurriedly. I’m sorely tempted to ask to borrow Eternity’s taser.

It’s okay. Soon he’ll know. Soon everyone will know.

I suddenly realise how much I sound like Eternity. It’s not reassuring, since, to me, the main thing about Eternity is that she made a fatal error. A loud dissatisfied trill attracts my focus to her again.

She claws at the inside of her cloak with her long but jagged nails in rage, leaving small white marks.

‘I’ve left my phone back at the cabin!’ She stares in our direction hopelessly.


`Don’t look at me, I threw mine away,’ I’m not sure whether Kim believes me, but she hasn’t said otherwise, so I’ll keep hoping ‘It didn’t get any reception. Even if you had it, would yours be much use?’

‘I placed a field around the operation area,’ Eternity whines ‘I left Imperia alone so I could communicate with my associates. Now what can I do? I can’t get them to call it off! Celeste...I’m sorry.’ I get the feeling that Celeste isn’t actually the Dalponte sister she’s apologising to.

‘Can’t you go and tell us if she’s safe?’ I ask Catarrhina. She begins to cry openly.

‘My powers are pretty much nonexistent. I can’t teleport,’ she says between sobs ‘It won’t be much quicker for me to get there than you. Then I’d have to find my way back too...and sis...’

‘And you can’t sense that she’s still alive?’ I don’t want to add an “or.”

‘If I knew she wasn’t, I’d just deny it anyway...to you and to myself.’ She gives a large sniff that would be quite ugly if she was fully human.

‘Alright, I’m going.’ Either Eternity doesn’t want to hear the answer, or she’s already heard it. ‘I can’t wait any longer. Celeste can’t wait any longer.’ She leaps up to the gap in the ceiling, grabs onto something and pulls. In a flash of metal, a ladder descends to us. She clambers up, and then dips her head back into the room.

‘Aren’t you going?’ I follow Catarrhina up the ladder so closely it feels like we’re the same person, which is strangely comforting. Kim shrugs and I help pull her up. Harvey is wavering between the two choices, but Nightfall tilts his head up at us stubbornly, hand on the back of it.

‘Fine, go,’ he says ‘But you should know that even if Ava is Celeste, even if she’s still alive, there is no demon. Or whatever it’s meant to be. So you’re not going to be able to bring her back.’

‘I already know that,’ Eternity replies. The unfazed look that remains in his eyes suggests he wasn’t referring to Catarrhina.

‘I’ve had enough chasing around after nothing, thanks,’ he retorts ‘I’m not moving. When we meet again, you’ll have seen how right I am.’

‘If you insist,’ Eternity notices Harvey half-hiding behind him ‘What about you?’ Harvey swishes his head around from choice to choice rapidly. With his lengthening unkempt hair...it’s kind of funny. He gives Nightfall an apologetic glance and climbs the ladder.

‘I just want to know.’ Eternity leaves the ladder in place and doesn’t lock the door when she shuts it behind her.

‘Do you think he’ll be okay?’ Harvey whispers nervously to me.

‘Duh,’ I say ‘He’s Nightfall. Hey, think of all those things that he’s been through. Why wouldn’t he be able to survive a short stint in there?’ He winces.

‘Well, to tell the truth, he didn’t look too good,’ Harvey drops his voice even more, watching Eternity closely, forcing an awkward smile when she glances back ‘Don’t tell anyone else, okay? Kim will panic,


and Eternity has enough on her conscience. I couldn’t help seeing...he’s got a really painful-looking wound on the back of his head. And when I really looked at him, his voice didn’t show it, but I could see that he was gradually getting worse. Did you see him when we left? He’s never been tired like that before. It makes me think...this is stupid...but it was like he didn’t care, like he didn’t want to go on any more.’

It’s not only Celeste I have to worry about now.

Nightfall and Flame.

Steve and Sienna.

Losing one was bad enough.

Losing both?

I can’t let that happen.

‘You have to let it happen,’ Catarrhina glides along slowly, hugging herself ‘It’s too late.’

‘So he really is...dying?’

‘I...um, please- I mean sorry. I don’t know.’ She goes over to Eternity instead, humming a sadly nostalgic version of a familiar melody. Eternity smiles subtly for a brief moment, as if in a warm sunshine, and then starts running at a practically superhuman speed, to Kim’s dismay.

‘Hey, slow d...‘ She changes her decision about finishing the word, probably thinking of Celeste.

Forget that rubbish I said before about all this running. Each time, it gets more painful. End of.

What’s supporting me, so I don’t fall, what’s keeping me going on? Knowing that someone out there is going through something much worse. It’s not sadism. It’s determination.

I do hate Celeste for what she did. She killed her sister just so she could get back at Eternity for telling the truth about her.

And I still hate Eternity too. She killed a countless amount of people just so she could get back one person.

They are the two opposing forces that collided and shattered everything.

Yes, Celeste became an object of universal hatred. Yes, Eternity believed that everyone would be resurrected. That doesn’t excuse the crimes they committed.

But I hated someone, not long ago. I believed her to be a demon. That was a misunderstanding.

There is no demon.

It’s easier to place the blame on one completely evil being than worry about the imperfections in ourselves. The imperfections that bond together to form the equivalent of this fictional being. In this case,


the fictional character of the demon caused the type of tragedy it was expected to. Through the desperation of humans.

I can’t see any cabin between us and the horizon. I keep staring, but it doesn’t appear.

How long did it take last time...I don’t even want to contemplate it...

There’s the sun. Too happy, too inappropriate for now. Or is it? Is it hope? How stupid do I sound now? I want to hope, no, I want more than that, I want to believe! I want to believe that there is hope!

Shut up! It is stupid, so don’t waste anything on it, even though you’re probably...oh, who cares...

My breathing is loud, hoarse and raspy. I can’t control it. I can’t breathe enough...my heart can’t beat enough...

Kim clutches at my arm instinctively. Our eyes meet and she forces herself to let go, unable to stop breathing long enough to apologise.

‘It’s okay.’ How did I manage to say that? Oh no, I shouldn’t have...I can’t do this...

Kim reaches out to me again, and the fabric slips between her fingers. She falls onto the ground in exhaustion. I stop for multiple reasons.

Her head is tilted to the side.

Then I realise.

The angle is unnatural.

The grass is tainted.

The Price for Happiness

I can’t remember what happened after that.

But I do realise how it was very similar to when she was shot before. That somehow made it more painful.

I realised the parallels. When I checked her pulse, it was still there, beating faintly. She was still alive. I have that, at least, if only for a while.

There was also my reaction.

If something seriously traumatising happens, it’s the brains natural reaction to keep it out, as a sort of mental protection system. But it can never block it out completely.


I can hear a very faint scream. I think that would be mine. Yes. That would make sense.

Eternity kept relatively calm. She just told me that we had to go on for now, and to roll Kim over into the recovery position. I said I didn’t know how. I actually do. I don’t know why I said that.

I also remember a pair of eyes. They must have been Harvey’s, because I associate them with a certain thought: we’re the only ones left.

Flame is dead. Nightfall and Kim could be by now. We’re the only ones from our group definitely alive.

And Ava- I mean Celeste- could be gone...

Catarrhina died a long time ago.

I can’t remember anything about Catarrhina when I think back to that scene, apart from how ironic it was that an angel was standing by the body.

Body. That sounds really...dead.

Don’t think that!

I’ve lost track. What’s happening now?

Ah...!

Despite the fact that two of our friends are hovering somewhere between life and death, I feel joyous. How could I have ever known before that a stack of wood could mean so much?

‘Yes!’ Harvey exclaims, the croakiness of his voice muffling it a bit. I raise my arms and shake my fists around weakly. They flop back down to my sides almost instantly, sending a small ripple of pain down my tired thighs. Eternity doesn’t come close to smiling.

‘In.’ She points at the door, before practically smashing it open and leaping in.

By the time Harvey and I get into the cabin, she’s not there.

‘Eh?’ Harvey says. I’m too tired to insult this display of obliviousness and I take a quick look before jumping down the hole in the floorboards.

I didn’t register who was down there, and what state they were in when I looked. I only checked whether the space between me and the floor was clear.

Astrea. Zeno.

Catarrhina, in a very high-pitched panic.

CRASH!

Harvey.

Eternity is kneeling down on the floor, sobbing. A limp body lies in front of her.


I feel like I’m about to follow my heart and fall to the floor as well.

But then I look more closely at Eternity.

I see the smile. I see the arms wrapped around her shoulders.

‘I’m sorry...’

‘I’m sorrier...that’s a word...right?’

Catarrhina starts bawling again.

‘You IDIOTS!’ she giggles.

I’m not quite sure why, but Harvey and I start laughing too.

The Master of Disguise

Those were about five minutes. The most meaningful five minutes I’ve ever witnessed.

‘Zeno and I are going to the other cabin for Nightfall,’ Eternity says to me ‘Harvey is more tired, so he will go with Astrea to find Kim. You’re the youngest, and seem to be the most worn out, too, so you and Celeste will stay here and wait for our return.’ I gratefully agree, and wave four times before there are only two people left in the room.

I look at Celeste.

She’s managed to prop herself up onto one of the tables, as I have. She looks around at the torture instruments, looking...amused?


‘I’m lucky they never got round to using these,’ Celeste laughs. I stare at her. Now I look, there are no bloodstains, no broken bones, no wounds of any kind.

‘That’s...um, good.’

‘Then again, physical pain is nothing,’ she says ‘Once you’ve felt true guilt.’ I realise that Catarrhina is in the corner, making strange whimpering noises. I’m not sure if she’s really upset, or really happy. I think it’s both.

‘She’s here, you know.’ Celeste gives me a look painfully reminiscent of Astrea.

Which reminds me. Before Astrea left, I’d talked to her.

‘Now that you don’t have to lie anymore, can you tell me what you really think of what happened?’

‘Sorry, Ms Algo. I stand by what I said before. You’re probably suffering from some level of schizophrenia. I never believed in all this stuff. I thought it was ridiculous. I only kept going because I was going to earn a fortune from it...’

‘I believe you.’

‘Y-You do?’ I ask. Celeste smiles.

‘I can’t sense her presence like Eternity can, and I certainly can’t see her and talk to her like you can,’ she says ‘But...I know it’s true. If you say it is. When Eternity and I were researching together-‘

‘You WHAT?! I thought you were mortal enemies!’ She laughs.

‘We were also great friends,’ she tells me ‘Didn’t she ever figure it out? I’m the master of disguise, after all. You’d think such an untrusting character as hers would have sussed my act out. After I gave up the identity of Celeste Dalponte, I became Miana. Can’t remember the last name.’

Miana. Miana.

‘You wrote that lullaby?’

‘Yeah,’ Celeste sweetly hums a few bars ‘It was hard not to react when she sang it. I wrote it especially for Eternity, to reflect on the trials of her life. Since I knew what had happened and all.’

‘Then you really did...you know,’ I’m scared to finish it.

‘Yes,’ she says ‘I burnt down the station. I don’t know what made me do it. It’s such a cliché. But a true cliché. One of the reasons I believe you is that I know Kitty would have stuck around to help. She was so nice...I was always trying to be like her. That made me quite popular. More popular than she was, because I was sick enough to use it manipulatively.

‘But Eternity wasn’t popular at all. She wasn’t as pretty as she is now. Sadly, at your age you should know what that means. And, far more importantly, she was no socialite. It started with a few taunts. I don’t want to go into details. And that made her over-suspicious of everyone. If someone approached her,


she’d assume they were trying to make fun of her, which they hardly ever were. She wouldn’t react pleasantly to them. I didn’t dare speak to her. Only Kitty did. I always admired her for that in particular.’

‘So you weren’t trying to put on an act? You were just trying to be like Catarrhina?’

‘I was doing both!’ Celeste says ‘I’m nothing like Kitty, and the more I try to be, the less like her I become! It’s so...anyway, Eternity was so cold to everyone. But she didn’t understand why she was so unpopular, why nobody would speak to her. Now I realise I really should have done something. But I was so absorbed in my own pretty little world I’d built, and the only person I would really have time for was Kitty. Eternity was trapped in a vicious circle. She bore resentment to the people who were really popular. Especially- and I’m going to give up on all modesty here- me. It was very off-putting.

‘I’m not angry with Kitty for telling my secrets to Eternity. Kitty was great- which you’re probably sick of hearing- but she did have her flaws, amongst them, she was no secret-keeper. It was my fault for burdening her with my own troubles. And I understand why Eternity spread them around. I understand now, anyway. Not then. The little annoyance had built up over a long time. Then I was stupid. What happened next was really stupid. It wasn’t my fault, but it would be easy to blame me for it. To her, I did something unforgivable. Sorry. I can’t face telling anyone that. The point is, I understand Eternity’s viewpoint.’

‘But you decided to kill her for it?’ I can empathise with her so far, but to go as far as murder?

‘No, it wasn’t premeditated,’ she corrects me quickly ‘I was going to try and let it go, even though she made everyone hate me, because I knew what she’d been going through then. I planned to just wait until I could move somewhere where nobody knew me and start again. But then the day came along. Eternity and Kitty were at some party and I was out with...out with...my boyfriend.’

Why did she struggle saying that? What happened that was unforgivable...could it have been...?

‘He wanted to go and get some more cigarettes, so we stopped by the petrol station, where there was a little shop. I’m not really a smoker, but he gave me one and lit it, and I didn’t care about much.’

‘Sis...’ I hear from the corner.

‘And then I saw the taxi,’ Celeste starts kicking the table ‘I just wanted to walk over, to tell Kitty something. But Eternity was there. She had a go at me. I said some things back. Then I saw this giant pool of petrol spread out over the ground, on Eternity’s side of the taxi. I thought Kitty would be able to get out from the other side. I looked at the cigarette in my hand. I shouldn’t have. But I was so angry. And I...’

Two loud wails echo off the walls. Celeste rubs her eyes determinedly.

‘So after that, I enlisted at the same college as Eternity, not on purpose, I just wanted to get as far away as possible,’ she sniffs ‘Ironic, huh? I had to set up a new identity, because I even ended up in the same apartment as her. I was a coward. It didn’t take me long to realise what Eternity was trying to do. She thought I was some kind of demon. I knew that wasn’t right, so I helped her research, trying to disprove her theory.


‘Soon, I found what I was looking for. I told Eternity that the demons, well, weren’t really demons. It backfired. She didn’t tell me what she was doing, and a few days later, she was gone.’

‘How did you find out about the Otherworld?’ I ask.

‘Through reading a lot of her notes,’ I notice the shadows under Celeste’s eyes ‘I didn’t do that until several years later. I didn’t know that it was desperate. Eventually I found some paperwork, for some kind of organisation. It listed the details of an allocated plot of land, the security around it, and what it was to be used for. It took me a while to track it down and get past the security, but I managed. You know the rest.’

I think back over Celeste’s recollections. I was right not to hate her.

‘Sis...’ Catarrhina rushes over to Celeste and tries to hug her. The resulting failure makes me want to cry too.

‘There’s another reason why I believe you,’ Celeste adds ‘During my research, I found something else of importance. I understand it now. It looks like a certain family has inherited an ability. I think it must be the ability to be able to see people like Kitty. Looking at the family tree, I’m pretty sure I saw the name “Algo”, amongst others. It’s very rare. Am I right saying that your family never got a chance to meet Kitty?’ I nod.

I see a girl cowering on the ground, covering her ears in vain.

‘Does that mean I’m...I was related to Flame?’ I ask. Celeste shrugs.

‘Very distantly, I expect,’ she says ‘You didn’t look alike at all- from what I can remember. She hadn’t inherited the full ability, so, yes, it would make sense. It’s a shame...what happened. I wish I could have known her. She seemed so brave and lively.’

My throat feels strange. I look up at the ceiling. None of them are back yet.

‘And am I related to Eternity?’ I add ‘She...felt her presence too.’

‘Possibly. Or not. You know, I don’t think it’s you Eternity shares a connection with...’

I look away from the ceiling hopefully.

‘So you forgive her? Eternity, I mean?’

‘With all my heart,’ Celeste clasps her hands to her chest ‘It started as a way to keep this heart alive. Then it became a way to save those of other people. Then, finally, my one true desire was to save Eternity’s heart from its curse.’

‘Then you’re...er...not going to press charges or anything?’

‘Of course not!’ she exclaims ‘I knew that all along! Again, that used to be because if I did, the world would know my sins too. I’m not saying that either of us are above the law. But something else is. The


law is a rulebook. To help us choose the right path. It can’t describe every possible situation. And in those times, we must decide between doing what we think is right, and what others say is right.’

‘So you’ve saved Eternity’s heart from a...curse?’

‘Demons! Curses! Angels!’ Celeste laughs ‘None of them exist to me. But I suppose the last two do exist in a way. There aren’t really angels. However, there are people as good as, even better than they could ever be. Curses are the same. Eternity has been living under a kind of curse for many years. Before any of this ever began.’

‘Unpopularity?’

‘Misunderstanding.’

That sky. Now I know the truth. I know home is under this same sky. I feel like I’m there already.

The light from the room finally catches Celeste’s eyes. Or does the light from Celeste’s eyes finally catch the room?

‘Are they alive?’ I whisper to Catarrhina ‘You really don’t know...?’ I glance at her. Then I look again, and jump.

The glow has returned. It’s almost blinding this time.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she says, more angelic than ever. The glow grows brighter, and brighter still, until I have to close my eyes.

Her voice resounds through, not just my mind, but through my entire being. Without sight, nothing can distract me from it.

‘I’ve enjoyed our journey together. But now it’s ended, everything’s fine again, and it’s time for both of us to take a new turning. We have to walk our new paths.

‘I promise, our paths will intertwine some day, I’ll come back! And I know everything will have changed…although I wish it could all stay the same…

‘There’s been so much pain in my life, but I wouldn’t change any of it. It’s made me into who I am. This has helped me realize that. And now I’m ready, for whatever comes next!

‘There’s been so much pain in these other lives too. But that, I would change, as long as you never forget. My last gift to you…to all of these wonderful people I never really got to meet…and to all of the extra-wonderful people I did meet once.

‘It’s time for the new journey now! Hurry up, or you’ll miss the big surprise! Goodbye, Addy…for now…’


Reset and Return

You and I now should forget of the past future

Of all those sweet memories, only blood remains

Under the turning warm wind

Can we stay for the spiral?

And when it coils- that’s our sign

Now we’ll run away, can we run away?

End this now, find a way to elude our fate

So we will know you are not a flower of hell

Couldn’t stay in this place


And you can’t bloom there, no you can’t bloom there

Please don’t ever be caught upon this complex snare

Every shard of time, mere fragments, flies by without a sound

-Flower of Hell, self-translated from Naraku no Hana

I force my eyes to open. The light shatters.

When I look up, I see shards of light fall. When they hit me, I feel memories. I don’t see them. I feel them.

I try to look past the snowstorm of light, and soon, they disperse enough for me to be able to see a street.

A...street? It’s a very familiar one.

Now I can see people walking past. Why are there so many people? And...why are they all smiling? It’s strange, seeing so many people smile. Normally they’re all so sullen.

Eh? Where did Celeste go?

...hey, how did she get there?!

Past one of the windows on the first floor of a shop, I can see Celeste grinning and holding a dress up in front of her torso. She spins, ending with pose, talking animatedly to the girl in front of her.

E-Eternity?

They both look out of the window and wave down at me.

They seem to be trying to say something. I don’t know what it is, but I wave back. It’s probably good.

‘Were you worried?’

The voice comes from the girl right next to me.

‘Aagh!’

Kim!

‘You remember what happened, don’t you?’ I ask. She smiles cheekily.

‘Maybe.’

We start walking along too. I’m about to make her answer my question properly, when I’m distracted by a boy and a girl talking on a bench.


The boy stands up. I realise who he is. And, sending a kind of warm chills in my body, I realise who the girl is.

The boy is walking away with his whistling friend.

‘So, did you-‘ he tries to say.

‘Forget about me, who was that?’

‘Sienna.’

His friend whistles.

‘What?!’

‘You seem pretty close, don’t you?’ he asks.

‘Well, we’ve been through a lot together. So you’re right, I guess’.

‘Yeah, I can see it. She totally likes you, man...’ Sienna, still on the bench, hears, and turns bright red in fury and embarrassment.

I can’t help but laugh as I see Nightfall react similarly.

‘I think so too. I think that’s why she was always competing with him, you know,’ Kim says ‘She wasn’t trying to prove herself better than him. She was trying to show that she was good enough for him.’ I stare.

‘So you do remember!’ Kim just pats me on the head, smiling widely. I don’t complain.

Looking around at the people around me, I’m not quite sure how this has worked. But it has. And I’m not complaining. In fact, I don’t even want to know why. I’m just going to start again. And I’ll become stronger. I have become stronger. I will stay that way now, for I have my memories of the life that could have been, the life I had to adapt to, in my heart.

Yeah. We’ve been talking about hearts a lot. But I don’t think I, or Celeste, was actually referring to that little thing in your chest pumping blood around the body. We were talking about something much more complex than that. I’m not sure what exactly it is. It’s more than a heart. It’s more than a mind. It is way too precious to define with cheap terms and way too beautiful to ruin with cheesy lines.

Speaking of cheesy lines, a quote is written on a fridge magnet in the souvenir stall against the wall.

Because we can’t call people without wings angels, we call them friends.

And there’s a digital clock in the electronics shop next door. Kim looks at the time.

‘We should be getting back now,’ she says.

On the bottom, it displays the date. I look in the stationery shop too, behind the many plasterings of boy bands I don’t even know the names of, at the actual numbers on the calendar. And back at the electronics shop.


The numbers match.

I finally understand.

‘You’re right,’ I say ‘I’ve got a holiday to pack for.’ Kim tilts her head quizzically.

‘I thought you said that wasn’t for a fortnight.’

‘Really? Feels like it’s been longer than that.’

‘I wonder why.’

Thank you, Catarrhina.

I know what you are now. I wish you were here to see this.

Maybe you are. You said you’d come back some day, and I’ll be waiting for that, don’t you forget it!

But until then, there are a lot of things I want to do.

There’s someone else I haven’t met yet. Maybe together we can smooth out whatever weirdness just happened. It’s worked before. Somehow I know where to go. Kim following behind me, I turn the corner to a building, painted entirely in purple. Already, it’s been closed down. Looks like I arrived a little later than the others. Even though it’s closed down, someone is still waiting there, waving desperately for my attention. As I thought...now we don’t have to worry anymore...let’s see how it goes.

This is not our happy ending. This is our happy beginning.

And I’m glad I went through what I did. And I’ll always be thinking of the time you were, and waiting for the time you will be once more...well, friend among us just sounds silly, so...

I’ll always be thinking of the time you were, and waiting for the time you will be once more...the angel among us.

Epilogue

So goodbye my friend

Until we meet again

Some other day

I know so much will change

But looking back I can say

I wouldn’t change a day

I hope you can say the same


I hope you can say that you understand

The only life we have is here and now

Not up in the clouds

With every breath I can say

It’s a brand new day

I know I can say the same

-Say the Same, Hoobastank

‘So you all lived happily ever after?’

‘Maybe.’

‘What about Celeste?’

‘I think so.’

‘Sienna and Steve?’

‘When Sienna’s not on the plane, they’re about as happy as you can get.’

‘Harvey?’

‘Don’t be silly.’

‘Oh, yeah...then what about Kim?’

‘You saw her last week.’

‘But is she happy?

‘She’s running a chain of fashion stores- worth loads, she says. I suspect so.’

‘Good! So...even Eternity?’ Star looks up at me hopefully, but Aidan just snorts. Considering that she’s only four, Star gives him a very good reproachful look.

‘Just because you’re horrible, so you only like stories only about k-killing people!’ she snaps.

‘No I don’t.’ I see him hide a paperback under the sofa.

‘Yes you do. The other day I read over your shoulder and you were reading a story about asasas...sas...as...assassassins...assassins.’ Should I be worried that she knows what an assassin is?


‘But this...this is special! It’s a true story!’ Star adds proudly ‘Isn’t it?’

‘Yes,’ I smile at them fondly, as Aidan says otherwise ‘But I’m sure the story your brother likes is good too. Come on then. It’s time for bed now.’ Aidan groans loudly, but they obediently climb the stairs all the same. I close each of the bedroom doors.

‘Sweet dreams,’ I whisper. When I turn back to the stairs, someone’s blocking them.

‘Want me to go and prove that it’s all real?’ she asks ‘They’ll have got the thing you’ve got, just like sis said, won’t they?’

‘That really won’t be necessary,’ I assure her. She droops.

‘Aw, come on,’ she pleads ‘It’ll be fun!’

‘Not now!’ I say firmly ‘They’re tired!’

‘You’re just boring. One day,’ Catarrhina tells me ‘One day I will. Even when you’re both gone, I’ll make sure nothing happens to this family. In between making sure nothing happens to Etty’s family. And si- I mean mine.’ Faint shooting noises come from downstairs. Catarrhina is terrified, but I just laugh.

‘Yeah, even at twenty-nine, he hasn’t grown out of those games. And he still gets together with his friends for paintballing every month. I thought he’d be sick of fighting by now. Did you know that he’s been stuck on the same level of that particular game he’s playing now for fourteen years?’

‘To be fair, I think they’re very good training,’ Catarrhina says ‘Especially the one that sounds like a type of fish.’

‘Yes, but let’s face it, are either of us going to end up in a situation like that again?’ She gulps.

‘Um...well, this was fun, but I’m going to go check on Etty now...for a completely unrelated reason.’

The shooting stops.

‘Adara? Who are you talking to?’

‘Is that Catarrhina? Is she here? She’s here!’

‘No, it’s not Catarrhina! There is no Catarrhina!’

The shooting starts again.

‘But there is! There is, there is, there is!’

I exchange knowing looks with Catarrhina.

I hear a yell.

‘As I thought. He’s failed again,’ I point at the floor.

Catarrhina laughs ‘Daww...’


‘Catarrhina?’

‘Yes?’ she tilts her head to one side.

‘About what you said earlier,’ I say ‘Watching over everyone and all that...are you going to be doing that forever? If you are...will you be able to stand that?’ Catarrhina pauses, and calms down into seriousness.

‘Good point,’ she replies ‘That would be kinda boring. And sad. No, I’ll give myself a good run in this world, like...like I would have had. Then I’ll move on.’

‘Move on? To where?’ She looks at the ceiling as if she can see through it.

‘Same place as the rest of you, I guess,’ Catarrhina laughs ‘And you know where that is, just as well as I do.’

‘I do?’ I ask ‘Uh?’

‘Heheh,’ she waves ‘Exactly. Well, see you, Addy!’

And she’s gone again. A voice calls up the stairs again.

‘Hey, Adara, who are you talking to?’

Yes. I’ll tell you. Some day. Some day I’ll read to you the parts of our great story you didn’t know about. But in return, I’ll ask you to remind me of something. Maybe something silly, something I should have known all along, although I never did, but still something that will make it all seem real. Something appropriate like: since when did this become my life? Yes. I will tell you. When I know these answers for myself.

So now, I ask myself.

Since when did this become my life?

And I look out of the window.

You said we wouldn’t make it

But look how far we’ve come

So long my heart was breaking

But now we’re standing strong

The things you say make me fall harder each day

You’re a trainwreck

But I wouldn’t love you if you changed


I place a hand to my heart, and that’s when I realise that it doesn’t matter.

THE END

There used to be something filling my empty heart

Now that I’ve lost it I can see it was you

How you had always been the one that could cheer me up

How you had always given me so many smiles

The price I must pay for what I have lost

Is much too big and impossible to bear

Though I reach out the furthest that I can

And try to bring back the life I would have had


As if it were wind it slips right through my hand

And although I see it I cannot reach

Not knowing what to do and no-one I can turn to

Slowly I feel my heart starts to fade

But all of your smiles that I have in my memories

Cheer me up like you did before

And once again I’ll go back to those days

I know that this time I won’t make mistakes

I promise that I’ll show nothing but smiles

Standing high right by your side

I’m wondering where you are and what exactly you are doing at this moment

Are you at the other side of this blue sky?

demon among us - memberfiles.freewebs.com · web viewi can vaguely make out the badly pronounced...

Documents