Descriptive Writing

Show, don’t tell

Descriptive Writing

The most basic and important rule of descriptive writing:

SHOW, don’t TELL

ExampleTelling – She was excited when

her parents gave her permission to go to the party.

Showing – Her eyes widened with surprise and her lips parted as she screamed with delight when her parents said, “Yes.”

ExampleTelling – The rain was falling

heavily and everyone was afraid.

Showing – The raindrops attacked the galvanised roof and the windows rattled. We huddled under the bed and held each other tightly.

How Can You Show?Follow the Rules:

1. By creating images2. By using active verbs3. By using concrete nouns4. By including figure of

speech5. By adding dialogue

Rule #1- Creating Images

Use of the five senses:a. Sightb. Soundc. Smelld. Tastee. Touch

Example of Imagery

Our brains were scrambled from theheat and our minds were going madfrom the squeaking of the wheel from the golf caddie. Squuueeeeaaaak! Squeak! Squeak!“When will it shut up,” I shouted as I kicked the wheel.

Example of ImageryGregory is my beautiful gray Persian cat. He walks with pride and grace, performing a dance of disdain as he slowly lifts and lowers each paw with the delicacy of a ballet dancer. His pride, however, does not extend to his appearance, for he spends most of his time indoors watching television and growing fat. He enjoys TV commercials, especially those for Meow Mix and 9 Lives. His familiarity with cat food commercials has led him to reject generic brands of cat food in favor of only the most expensive brands. Gregory is as finicky about visitors as he is about what he eats, befriending some and repelling others.

Rule #2 - Use of action words that show movement

The Ferrari went down the SZR.The Ferrari raced/stormed down the SZR.

Mike was in his chair during Maths exam.Mike sat fidgeting in his chair during Maths exam.

Rule #3 Using Concrete Nouns

• Abstract:  It was a nice day. Concrete:  The sun was shining and a

slight breeze blew across my face. • Abstract:  I liked writing poems, not

essays. Concrete:  I liked writing short, rhythmic

poems and hated rambling on about my thoughts in those four-page essays. 

• Abstract:  Mr. Smith was a great teacher. Concrete:  Mr. Smith really knew how to help us turn our thoughts into good stories and essays.

Rule #3 Using Concrete Nouns

• Abstract Nouns Concrete Nouns

1. car 1. Lamborghini 2. tree 2. aspen 3. noise 3. chatter 4. emotion 4. desperation 5. animal 5. leopard

Rule #4 Using Figures of Speech

- Similes- Metaphors- Personification, et cetera

Note: Avoid clichés. Boring.

Example of personification and

metaphor - A passion so strong wanted to

leap out, but the prison of being a man had no room for crying, just anger.

- The whole class burst into a ruthless laughter as my blood was swept to my face in shame by nature, to face the jeering crowd like disgraced offender.

Example of adding dialogue

- “You forgot your homework at school again?!” Mom spat.

- “I-I-I’m s-s-s-o sorry, Sir – er – Ma’am,” I fumbled with my words under the Principal’s glowering glare.

Further Writing Tips- 1. Begin with a thesis statement

with relevance to your topic. “A mixture of cherry blossom scent

and rose images rush through my senses and overwhelms me now, whenever they talk of her…soft and beautiful as a rose, my Maria…nothing left of her but heart-rending memories that claw at my heart.”

Further Writing Tips

- 2. Decide what feelings/senses are associated with your topic, to keep your thoughts focused.

- 3. Write an outline of your essay.- 4. Organise your rough draft.- 5. Every starting sentence should connect

with your topic.- 6. Use the special descriptive writing

tools.- 7. A very brief summary and restating

your thesis with superb final thought.- 8. Read and re-read your essay and

submit the final draft.

All the best!!