developed by janice litvin - wellness, stress / burnout ...€¦ · the exercises in this toolkit...

Developed by Janice Litvin

Introduction

Workplace Wellness with Janice Litvin (415) 518-2202

[email protected] www.JaniceLitvin.com

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Banish Burnout Toolkit © 2020 Janice Litvin • www.JaniceLitvin.com

Introduction

My goal for the “Banish Burnout™” program is to help you change the way you react to stress,

from the inside out.

To that end, I developed this toolkit to support and anchor your efforts so that you don’t let stress

get you too low for too long. I based the toolkit on my own experiences banishing burnout and

using the teachings of Dr. Albert Ellis, one of the co-founders of Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

We all get stressed but how low do you go and how long do you stay there? In other words, is

your level of anger appropriate for the situation? If someone cuts you off in traffic how upset do

you get? And, how long do you stay upset? The answers to these questions can help you start to

understand if you might be headed towards burnout.

The exercises in this toolkit accompany the “Banish Burnout: Move from Stress to Success™”

presentation.

If possible, team up with an accountability partner, someone you trust deeply, and work these

steps every week or at least every time you find yourself upset. The best way to make behavior

changes is with conscious, repeated effort.

As you work through these exercises, you’ll learn how your thoughts control your feelings and

your habits control your thoughts. And that knowledge will help you banish burnout!

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REFRAMING YOUR THINKING

Tool #1 - Stress Audit - The 1st step is AWARENESS.

EXAMPLE:

Stressor: heavy traffic

My physical reactions: tight jaw, neck & shoulders, knots in the stomach

My emotional reactions: anger, frustration

My verbal reaction: complaining, accompanied by unending negative thoughts

Exacerbating behavior: let the complaining go on too long, with too much intensity

Possible Addictive Behaviors: overeating, drinking, etc.

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Now you try it. Write out something that happened recently, big or small in one or two words.

Then write out your reactions, including the level of intensity you felt.

Stressor:

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My physical reaction(s):

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My emotional reaction(s): How did I feel?

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My verbal reaction:

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Exacerbating behavior:

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Possible Addictive Behaviors:

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What did you learn from this exercise?

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CHARACTERISTICS OF STRESS REACTIONS


Understanding Your Stress Reaction So You Can Change Them

Tool #2 EXAGGERATING

EXAMPLES:

It drives me crazy (or stresses me out) when...

It drives me crazy when there's a long line at the coffee shop or restaurant

It drives me crazy when I have to wait on hold when I need to call tech support line.

It drives me crazy when there is a lot of traffic

It drives me crazy when I can’t get my work finished because I have too much.

It drives me crazy when I don’t get enough support from my manager.

What drives you crazy (or stresses you out)?

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What could you do to mitigate the situation or your feelings?

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CHARACTERISTICS OF STRESS REACTIONS


Tool #3 OVER-GENERALIZING

EXAMPLES:

He is always late

I always make mistakes when....

The copier is always breaking down

The service at that restaurant is always terrible

My sister-in-law is always talking about herself.

My friend, Susy, is always criticizing me

REALITY SPIN:

Do these situations really ALWAYS happen, or does it just seem that way in the moment?

Now let’s put a reality spin on these statements.

What are your over-generalizations?

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How could you re-frame them to be more realistic?

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You can change your reactions by changing your emotional, irrational thinking.

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Exercise: Putting A Reality Spin On Your Thoughts

1. Pick a person or situation that really frustrates you, someone or something that you

encounter on a regular basis.

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2. What is the negative dialog in your head concerning this person or situation?

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3. Think about the statements that sound like over-generalizations.

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4. And then, counter those over-generalizations with LOGIC / evidence-based explanation.

Provide any evidence that directly contradicts these over-generalizations.

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5. Next, think about how you could possibly solve the problem, if it makes sense for the

situation.

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TOOL #4: SELF-CARE - SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Setting healthy boundaries is a big topic. Let’s start with communicating your needs. It is

incumbent upon you to communicate your needs at work or at home. Your boss does not know

when you are starting to get burned out if you do not tell them. Similarly, your family members

do not know how you are feeling or what you are thinking if you don’t tell them.

Re-frame what you need and how you will communicate it.

a. Communicating your feelings / needs. No one knows how you feel about a

situation if you don't tell them.

It bothers me when...

It would be helpful if…

Could you please _______ when ________?

EXAMPLES:

It bothers me when you criticize my work without including any positives or any

suggestions. It would be helpful if you include the positives you see in my performance?

It bothers me when you ignore my suggestions without any explanation or education.

It bothers me when you drop huge last-minute tasks on my desk with little or no advance

warning.

EXAMPLE:

When possible, could you please give me more than 24 hours’ notice when you need

something done?

Now you try it:

It bothers me when...

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______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

It would be helpful to me if …

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

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Could you please ________________________ when _________________________?

______________________________________________________________________________

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b. Feedback

Sometimes just getting some acknowledgement goes a long way. When a boss writes a personal

email to thank someone for going the extra mile, it shows the boss cares and is thinking of you.

Not every boss knows how to be empathetic or emotionally intelligent. Sometimes we have to

train them. If you get performance reviews regularly that is a good time to mention your needs.

What do you need in the form of feedback?

Pat on the back

Positive reinforcement

Do you like to celebrate accomplishments?

What would that look like?

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How and when could you communicate the form of feedback you need? Work with a friend or

accountability partner on this exercise.

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c. Feeling overwhelmed

Notice when you begin to feel overwhelmed and communicate it to your boss or partner.

Remember, they do not know how you feel if you do not tell them.

Try to stay calm and speak rationally. That is the best way to engage a boss.

EXAMPLE:

Ask for a shift in your deadline and priorities.

I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed / overloaded.

Which of my projects could be re-shuffled so that someone else could help or the deadline

could be changed or both?

Which of these other projects do you want me to stop working on so I can join you on this

new project?

Thank you for thinking of me for that committee. I’d love to be involved. I will be finished

with this current project in two weeks.

May I reconnect with you then to discuss this further?

Tip:

Always think, “what most needs my attention at this moment?” when asking to shift

priorities.

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d. Saying no at work

Being able to say no to excessive demands in your professional life is an important key to

avoiding burnout. Use this exercise to explore ways to set healthy boundaries at work.

One common circumstance is the case when the boss comes to you with an “exciting new

project.” As exciting as the new project sounds, you know you are getting overloaded. Saying no

to the boss is next to impossible. Here’s a tip:

Which of these other projects do you want me to stop working on so I can join you on the new

project?

Or

Can we reshuffle some of our other priorities and deadlines to meet your needs without burning

everyone out? How can we reach our goals together?”

(Notice the pronouns.)

Now you try it. How would you word saying no?

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5. Saying no to everyone else.

Saying no is one of the hardest lessons to learn and yet one of the most important parts of self-

care. Once I learned how to say no I was so much happier. Be careful, you may start saying no to

everyone every day! It’s almost too simple.

EXAMPLE:

Your work friend calls and says, “I have to leave early to pick my son up, could you be a

friend and finish that big budget report that is due tomorrow?”

At first your guilt will kick-in, but summon up all your strength to push back and say,

“I’m so sorry, I wish I could, but I just can’t.”

Saying no to a friend is probably one of the biggest changes you will ever make. You will be so

much happier and relieved. You will not lose the friendship, and if you do, that was not a real

friend to begin with.

Friends do take no for an answer. Being a good friend means never having to say yes, or at

least not always. Just because a friend asks you to do something does not mean there is not

someone else who could do it. Of course, there are exceptions. Family members often get a

pass, but again - not always. When your spouse asks you to do something, when they could just

as easily do it, do you always say yes?

At first setting this type of boundary will be hard for the people in your life to accept, but they

will learn to adjust. Sometimes, it’s a matter of time, and you can always say this: “I can help

you later, but not now.”

EXERCISE:

How would you say no to someone in the family who wants you to do something that you either

do not want to do or feel you should not have to do? Write out what you want to say without

extra explaining or complaining or self-pity. When you begin to explain why you can’t do

something the other person will take that opportunity to try to help you with your schedule so

that you can do what they want. In sales, that is called “handling objections.”

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BONUS ITEM

Tool #5: SHOULD STATEMENTS

Over-using the word “should” is a flag that you are engaging in a form of self-criticism. Do you

find yourself saying or thinking statements like the ones below?

Should statements

EXAMPLES:

I should be smarter

I should be able to handle that problem

I should be better at...

I should keep the house cleaner

I should be nicer to...(fill in the blank)

I should be (fill in the blank)

The next step would be to replace the should statement with a preference and a goal, when

appropriate.

Preference/Goal statements

EXAMPLES:

I should be able to get to work on time.

Preference: I would prefer it if I could get to work on time more often. I could try setting

an alarm & get up a little earlier.

Goal: for the next seven days I will set my alarm 10 minutes earlier.

I should be able to get my work done in 8 hours.

Preference: I would prefer it if I could manage my time. I’m going to set this as a goal.

Goal: Write out an hour-by-hour schedule (or whatever timeframe works for your day),

allotting the amount of time you estimate it will take to accomplish each task. In general

think of 30- or 60-minute blocks of time. Be sure to take a 5-minute break every hour.

I should exercise more.

Preference: I would prefer it if I could exercise at least 3 times per week.

Goal: I am going to put my favorite exercise on my phone calendar and if necessary, put

my workout clothes in my car, so I can go straight to the gym / hiking location, etc. on my

way home from work.

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Now you try it.

What are your should's? Make a list here.

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Which is the most important should to you?

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REFRAME YOUR THINKING Now convert the should into a preference statement with a possible goal attached.

Preference: I would prefer it if I could

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Goal: I am going to (do something) _________________________________________________

On (specific day and time) ________________________________________________________

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How did that feel?

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In closing…

Your boss does not want you to get burned-out!

YOU CANNOT TAKE CARE OF YOUR WORK OR YOUR FAMILY,

IF YOU DO NOT TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

Please let me know how you are doing with your Banish Burnout Toolkit™ from time to time.

If you would like to bring me in to your company, organization, or conference, to present any of

my talks, including:

• Banish Burnout: Move from Stress to Success™

• Falling in Love with Fitness™

• Lose for Life™

• Out of the Box Wellness: Innovations in Workplace Wellness™

please get in touch via email: [email protected] or phone: 415.518.2202.

More information can be found at www.JaniceLitvin.com.

Ways to keep in touch.

Linkedin: JaniceLitvin

Instagram: JaniceLitvin

Facebook: Janice Litvin Speaks

Twitter: @JLitvin

Youtube: JaniceLitvin

Workplace Wellness with Janice Litvin

(415) 518-2202 [email protected]

www.JaniceLitvin.com

mailto:[email protected]

developed by janice litvin - wellness, stress / burnout ...€¦ · the exercises in this toolkit...

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