“did you know that it is easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone’s...

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“Did you know that it is easier to say what you feel in writing Than saying it to someone’s face. But did you know that It has more value when you say it to their face?

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“Did you know that it is easier to say what you feel in writing

Than saying it to someone’s face.

But did you know that It has more value when you

say it to their face?

 

Nonverbal Communication

We are still learning:

• ways it affects people

• differences in ability to convey.

• differences in ability to understand

Why is our knowledge so incomplete ?

• Predominant verbal orientation• NVC used without awareness-

natural.– facial expression– body build – posture

• Research is complicated by a wide range of behaviors

Admonishing a child• Displeasure in voice• disapproving facial expression• direct eye contact• threatening hand gesture• threatening body posture.

There is a symphony of cues present. The numberof channels presents barriers to its study

How much does NVC Count?

• A major determinant of meaning.– 65-75% of meaning from NVC– presently 93% from NVC

• Richest source of info on emotions– feeling & emotions are more accurately

exchanged– reliable and stable indicators of emotions– Are you Okay? – Verbal - redundant, repetitive & deceptive

How much NVC counts (cont)

• Relatively free of deception, distortion & control

– rarely under our sustained conscious control– words distort, deceive, and conceal– trustworthy? E.G. Nixon Hill/Thomas hearings

• NVC serves metacommunication function.

– deeper level of efficient communication– e.g. parties

• Most suitable vehicle for suggestion

Language of NVC

• Kinesics (kinesiology) -body motion• Emblems - direct verbal translation

(ok,good)• Illustrators-tied to

speech-strength/vigor• Affect Displays -facial expressions• Regulators -control

speaking/listening.• Adaptors -touching yourself

Language (continued)

• Physical Characteristics - body build,height

• Haptics - Touching

• Proxemics - comm through space.– intimate 0-18 inches

– personal - 18 inches - 4 feet

– social - 4-12 feet

– public - 12 feet and beyond

• Olfactics - comm through smell

Language (continued)• Chronemics - polychronism, monochronism

• Artifactual - beauty aids,space, color,furniture,temperature

• Paralanguage (vocalics) – voice - quality, pitch, rythym

– vocal characterizers - laughing, crying, moaning, sighing

– vocal segregates - “ah” “uhm”

Haptics Research

• What if there were no touch between people?

• What if you added touch to certain situations?

Importance of Touch• Signals Intimacy - quality of relationship

– ritual touch vs non-ritual touch

• Without Touch IPCO rlshps meaningless– sense of self connected to touch

• Cultural and subcultural norms• Biological Roots - 18 sq ft of skin.

– constant state of readiness

• Most carefully guarded of all NVC behaviors

Haptics research

Originally shied away from because:

• Seemed infrequent and spontaneous

• Seemed private and inaccessible.

• Difficult to research

Research Started medically

Spitz (1945) • studied infants rarely/briefly

touched by nurses• mortality rate was extremely high.• RESULT: without effective

stimulation from holding/stroking, human nature did not develop normally

Harlow (1958) landmark research

• Studied maternal deprivation in rhesus monkeys

• scientifically proved need for physical contact (innate).

• subsequent research showed contact, movement, handling were powerful forms of stimulus that enhanced neurological and emotional development in human infants

Dr. Bresler - UCLA Pain Clinic

• Prescribes 4 hugs a day

• morning

• lunch

• evening

• before bed

Dr. Harold Voth-Sr Pychiatrist - Menninger

Foundation• Hugging can lift depression enabling

the body’s immunization system to become tuned up. Hugging breathes fresh life into tired bodies and makes you feel younger and more vibrant. In the home hugging can strengthen relationships and significantly reduce tension.

Leo Buscaglia - Ins Study

• People who hug and kiss their partner before leaving for work:

– live 5 years longer

– ill and out of work less than 50% of the time

– fewer auto accidents

Helen Colton - The Joy of Touching

• Hemoglobin in blood increases significantly when you are touched, fondled, and hugged. If you want to be healthy, you must touch!