difficult conversations workshop - cohort 12

INITIATE DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONSAspiring Principal’s Program

October 4, 2012

Thursday, October 4, 12

SESSION FRAMINGConnection to the 15 Actions


GO GAMESTORM!


BY THE END OF THIS SESSION

• Identify the elements of effective and ineffective difficult conversations, as described in Difficult Conversations and their own experience.

• Reflect on their emotional footprint and how they have been handling difficult conversations related to changing adult actions and attitudes about student achievement.

• Reconcile the principle of “not assuming rightness” with their beliefs about efficacy.


AGENDAFraming

• Alignment to the 15 Actions and Competencies • Session Outcomes & Agenda• Elements of ineffective difficult conversations • Strategies for initiating and engaging in difficult conversations• Self-assessment

Guided Practice• Practice strategies for difficult conversations by engaging in role

plays based on a given scenario• Self assess performance and give and receive feedback

Preparation• Prepare for your own difficult conversation

Individual Practice• Role play your own personal difficult conversation with a partner• Fishbowl one role play

Wrap-Up• Evaluation


CONFLICT GONE AWRY Think of a difficult conversation you have had that did not go

well. What went wrong and why? What made it difficult?


BREAKING IT DOWN:THE THREE CONVERSATIONS

• The “What happened?” Conversation

• The Feelings Conversation

• The Identity Conversation


JIGSAW

Jigsaw “The Three Conversations” from Difficult Conversations by deciding who will be the expert on which conversation.

✦ The “What Happened?” Conversation, p. 23-82

✦ The Feelings Conversation, p.83-108

✦ The Identity Conversation, p. 109-128

• Share your pre-work “Three Conversations” Notes for your assigned conversation, identifying common pitfalls and productive behaviors and any quotes or concepts that stood out to you personally. (10’)

• Discuss as a cohort which of the conversations you each find most difficult and why. (5’)


PITFALLS & PRODUCTIVE BEHAVIORS

What are common pitfalls and productive behaviors for each conversation?


STRATEGY EXPLORATION & SELF-ASSESSMENT

As we walk through the conversation strategies on the Authentic Conversation Skills Assessment form which are from Difficult Conversations, which addresses the 5 conversation steps below, rate yourself on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being excellent. (7’)

Discuss your ratings and your rationale for your ratings with an elbow partner. (5’)

5 Conversation Steps

1. Prepare by Walking Through the Three Conversations

2. Check Your Purposes and Decide Whether to Raise It

3. Start from The Third Story

4. Explore Their Story and Yours

5. Problem-Solve


REFLECTWhat did you learn from

completing the self-assessment?

What questions do you still have about the conversation

strategies?


SKILL PRACTICEInitiating Difficult Conversations


ROLE PLAY

1. Form a triad. Each member of the triad selects a scenario to engage in set of role plays using 3 scenarios.

2. Rotate the role of initiator, colleague, and observer.

3. Prepare for the difficult conversation (2’) All 3 members of the triad prepare.

4. Engage in the Difficult Conversation (3’) with colleague supporting the nature of the teacher in the scenario and the observer noting what he/she see and hears.

5. Assess strategy use using the Authentic Conversation Skills Assessment. (3’)

6. Provide feedback with initiator first (2’) followed by colleague (2’) followed by observer (2’)

7. Initiator reflects on the feedback and discusses what he/she will do differently next time (1’)

8. Repeat steps 4, 5, 6, and 7 until each member of triad has a turn.


THE SCENARIOS

Scenario 1: Professional Development Woes

Scenario 2: Come Join My Team

Scenario 3: Never Satisfied

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REFLECT

• Were the conversations difficult? If yes, what made them difficult?

• What are some examples of “Third Stories” you heard that you think were particularly effective?

• To what extent were all Three Conversations explored--and for both people--during a given role play? To what effect?

• What strategies did you observe that you think were particularly effective?

• What will you take with you from these role plays?


BREAK 10 minutes


YOUR EMOTIONAL FOOTPRINTTo begin to prepare for “The Feelings Conversation” you will have during your authentic conversation, share your reflections on the Emotional Footprint questions given for pre-work and from the Difficult Conversations book , pages 91-92.


PREPARETo prepare for the authentic conversation you selected as part of your pre-work and that you plan to have this year and intend to role play today, complete the Authentic Conversation Preparation Form.


INDEPENDENT PRACTICEConnecting to Your Residency Experience


ROLE PLAY1. Decide who will go first, with the author of

the scenario playing the initiator of the conversation.

2. Exchange and read the authentic scenarios you wrote for pre-work. Answer any questions you have about each others’ scenarios. (2 min.)

3. Prepare for the conversation by determining the purpose, the opening statement and strategies for communication (initiator does this on his/her own). (3 min.)

4. Engage in the difficult conversation. (3 min. for each partner rotating roles of initiator and colleague).

5. Assess strategy use using the Authentic Conversation Skills Assessment form. (2 min)

6. Provide feedback with the initiator going first followed by the colleague. (2 min. for initiator, 2 min. for colleague, and 2 minutes for observer.)

7. Reflect (initiator) on the feedback and on what he/she will do differently during the real conversation. (1 min.)

8. Role Play Repeat steps 2-7 for the other scenarios.

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REFLECT

• How did the practice in this session help you become more skillful with engaging in difficult conversations? More confident?

• How did the practice of your own situation help you prepare for the time when you have this conversation?

• What do you want to be sure to remember when preparing and conducting this conversation later?


WRAP-UPNext Steps & Preparing for Fall Foundations


EVALUATION

Please complete a brief evaluation of this session in Avatar by clicking on:

https://nlns.avatarlms.com/login.html

• Action #5: Initiate Difficult Conversations

• Local Session

• End-of-Session Survey

• Your Name

• All evaluations will be kept confidential.Thursday, October 4, 12



difficult conversations workshop - cohort 12

Education

conversation strategies

feelings conversation

assigned conversation

conversation steps1

conversations notes

role playwrap

role of initiator

role play1