discussing difficult issues
TRANSCRIPT
Supporting Grieving YouthSupporting Grieving YouthSara Torres, MA, Bilingual Program & Outreach
CoordinatorJulianne O’Keefe, MSW, MPA, Program & Outreach
Coordinator
Examples of LossesExamples of Losses§ Death§ Incarceration§ Deployment§ Illness/Injury § Divorce/separation
§ Move§ Foster care § Loss of job§ Abuse/neglect§ Exposure to
violence
Effects of Unresolved GriefEffects of Unresolved Grief§ Poor school
performance
§ Sleep difficulties
§ Physical illness
§ Mental Illness
§ Alcohol and drug abuse
§ Behavior problems
§ Sexual promiscuity
§ Illegal behavior
Ted E. Bear Hollow ServicesTed E. Bear Hollow Services• Free grief support services following significant
death or during serious illness/injury
• Age-appropriate programs for children ages 3-18 and adults
• Various causes of death
• Peer support model rather than therapy
• Facilitated by volunteers who complete a 20-hour training
Ted E. Bear Hollow ProgramsTed E. Bear Hollow Programs• Support Groups
– Monthly– 8-Session
• Day Camps– KidsKamp– Tinsel & Tears
• Teen Programs– Camp Hope: A Retreat for Grieving Teens
• Adult Programs– Adults Helping Adults (AHA)
• Library Program• CARE: Serious Illness/Injury
DEVELOPMENTAL GRIEF DEVELOPMENTAL GRIEF REACTIONSREACTIONS
Adult Grief vs. Child GriefAdult Grief vs. Child Grief
• Children grieve more sporadically than adults
• Children are more capable than adults of putting grief aside
• Children do not have to deal with the many reminders as do adults
• Children grieve through each developmental stage
Developmental Age Common Grief Reactions
How to Support
Preschool (3 to 5 years)
•Reverts back to former behaviors•Thinks death is temporary•Plays death
•Use concrete language•Explain in honest, clear terms•Encourage play
Developmental Age Common Grief Reactions
How to Support
Elementary (6 to 9 years)
•Understands permanence of death•Connects that death can happen to others•Experiences guilt
•Listen: let them do the talking•Reassure them that their feelings are normal and it wasn’t their fault•Foster creative expression
Developmental Age Common Grief Reactions
How to Support
Preteens (10 to 12 years)
•Acting out•Feelings of anger and “unfaired” against•Fears of being different, abandonment, and own mortality
•Encourage healthy ways ofexpressing their feelings•Use rituals to provide structure and normalcy•Provide details as desired
Developmental Age Common Grief Reactions
How to Support
Teens (13 to 18 years)
•Spiritual & philosophical reflection•Increased reliance on peers•Search for identity
•Provide unconditional, nonjudgmental support•Teach and model healthy coping skills•Respect need for private time
How can we help?How can we help?
Why is this important?Why is this important?FEELINGS
sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, shock, relief, despair
THOUGHT PATTERNSdisbelief, confusion, worry, low self-esteem,lack of concentration
PHYSICALSYMPTOMSnausea, fatigue, headaches, rapid heartbeat, decreased resistance to illness
BEHAVIORStrouble sleeping, crying, appetite change, avoidance, irritability, social withdrawal
CompanioningCompanioningAlan Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Honoring the spiritCuriosityLearning from othersWalking alongsideBeing stillDiscovering the gifts of sacred silenceListening with the heartBearing witness to struggles of othersBeing present to another person’s painRespecting disorder and confusionGoing to the wilderness of the soul with another human being
Focusing on the intellectExpertiseTeaching othersLeadingFrantic movement forwardFilling every painful moment with wordsAnalyzing with the headDirecting the struggles of othersTaking away the painImposing order and logicThinking you are responsible for finding the way out
Com
pani
onin
gTreating
TED E. BEAR TIPSTED E. BEAR TIPS• T – Tell the truth• E – Explain concretely• D – Don’t deny• E – Expect many emotions• B – Be all ears• E – Encourage play• A – Allow choices• R – Routine
Contact InformationContact InformationTed E. Bear Hollow7811 Farnam DriveOmaha, NE 68114
402-502-2773www.tedebearhollow.org