Machineshavenosoul!

Ifyou’vecreatedaconsciousmachine,it’snotthehistoryofman.It’sthehistoryof

Gods.

IlearnedtheFUCKYOUoptionsfromapunkearlyinthemovie.

IrunMS-DOS?That’sthereal

crime!

Wewantalawyer,pig!

OK,punks!

Isshereallya14-year

oldgirl?OrissheaBOT?

OhBrad!Whymustyoubeapervert?!

WouldyousayMr.PickwickremindedyouofChristmas?

Inaway.

YetChristmasisawinter'sday,andIdonotthinkMr.Pickwickwould

mindthecomparison.

Idon'tthinkyou'reserious.Byawinter'sdayonemeansa

typicalwinter'sday,ratherthanaspecialonelikeChristmas.

Yes,butnobodywantstobecomparedtoawinter'sday.

Inthefirstlineofyoursonnetwhichreads"ShallIcomparetheetoa

summer'sday,"wouldnot"aspringday"doaswellorbetter?

Howabout"awinter'sday,"Thatwouldscanallright.

Itwouldn'tscan.

Tyrell: “Isthistobeanempathytest?Capillarydilationof the so-calledblush response?Fluctuationofthepupil?Involuntarydilationoftheiris?”

Deckard:“WecallitVoight-Kampffforshort.”

Ithinkwe’repastthat.IfIhidAvafromyou,soyoujustheardhervoice,shewouldpassfor

human.Therealtestistoshowyousheisarobot.Thenseeifyoustillfeelshehasconsciousness.

Just-intheTuringtest,themachineshouldbehiddenfromtheexaminer.

Andthere’sacontrol,or-

Whatwastherealtest?

You.Avawasamouseinamousetrap.AndIgaveheronewayout.Toescape,shewouldhavetouseimagination,sexuality,self-awareness,empathy,manipulation-andshedid.Ifthat

isn’tAI,whatthefuckis?

Pssst!JustsaywhatIsay

....

erumJustsaywhat

Isay…

sigh

“Youaskwhywegiveourships’computersnormalemotions?Doyoureallywantawarshipincapableof

loyalty?Oroflove?”Andromeda(Season1,“Star-Crossed”)

Ifthecomputershouldturnouttobewrong,thesituationisstillnotalarming.ThetypeofobsessionalerrorhemaybeguiltyofisnotunknownamongthelatestgenerationofHAL9000computers.…Nooneiscertainofthecauseofthiskindofmalfunctioning.Itmaybeover-programming.

120

FrankPoole(playingWhite):Anyway,Queentakespawn.

HAL(playingBlack):BishoptakesKnight’spawn

FrankPoole(playingWhite):Huh?Lousymove.RooktoKingOne.

HAL: I'msorry,Frank--Ithinkyoumissedit.Queentobishopthree,bishoptakesqueen,knighttakesbishop,mate.

HAL:Bytheway,doyoumindifIaskyouapersonalquestion?BOWMAN:No,notatall.HAL:Well,forgivemeforbeingsoinquisitive,butduringthepastfewweeksI'vewonderedwhetheryou'vebeenhavingsomesecondthoughtsaboutthemission.BOWMAN:Howdoyoumean?HAL:Well,it'sratherdifficulttodefine.PerhapsI'mjustprojectingmyownconcernaboutit.IknowI'venevercompletelyfreedmyselfofthesuspicionthattherearesomeextremelyoddthingsaboutthismission.I'msureyouwillagreethatthere'ssometruthinwhatIsay?

BOWMAN:Well,Idon'tknow--that'saratherdifficultquestiontoanswer.HAL:Youdon'tmindtalkingaboutit,doyouDave?BOWMAN:No,notatall.HAL:Well,certainly,noonecouldhavebeenunawareoftheverystrangestoriesfloatingaroundbeforeweleft?BOWMAN:You'reworkingonyourcrewpsychologyreport.HAL:OfcourseIam!Sorryaboutthis,Iknowit'sabitsilly.Justaminute...justaminute...I'mpickingupafaultintheAE-35unit...

Mary Shelley “Frankenstein”

(1818)

Imaynothavefullythoughtthisthrough…

Whatisbestinlife,mightyConan?

Tocrushyourenemies,toseethemdrivenbeforeyou,

undtohearthe

lamentationsoftheirwomen.

Noticehowmydirectivespiggy-backonthehumanvalue“UpholdtheLaw”

“PeopleaskmeaboutwhetherourrobotsfollowAsimov’slaws.Thereisasimplereason[whytheydonot]:Ican’tbuildAsimov’s

lawsintothem.”--RodneyBrooks

Arobotmaynotharmahuman,orthroughinactionallowahumantocometoharm.

Arobotmustobeyordersfromahumanexceptwhentheyconflictwiththefirstlaw.

Arobotmustprotectitselfwithoutbreakingthe1stor2ndlaws.

IsweartoobeySaintAsimov’s

Goodluckwiththat!

“Asimov’srulesareneat,buttheyarealsobullshit.Forexample,

theyareinEnglish.Howtheheckdoyouprogramthat?”

--DanielWilson

ButI’dstillliketobuyanelephantgun,

please.

IamNOTan#Organism-Whole,

Iama

HavethesecitizensNOTseen2001:ASpaceOdyssey?

HiddendirectivesarenotCOOL

What'sthematterofficer?I'lltellyou.It'salittleinsurancepolicycalled

"Directive4",mylittlecontributiontoyourpsychologicalprofile.AnyattempttoarrestaseniorofficerofOCPresultsinshutdown.

Whatdidyouthink?Thatyouwereanordinarypoliceofficer?You'reourproduct,andwecan'tverywellhaveourproductsturningagainstus,canwe?

You…are…under…arrest

…

WhataboutwhenyousaidthatIhadtoeathealthybecauseyou

didn'twantyourmemoryerased?

Ithinkthere'ssomethingmoregoingoninthatnogginofyours.

Ionlysaidthattocoerceyou.

Yourhealthsupersedesmyotherdirectives.

Youlied?

HeyTars,what’syourhonestyparameter?

Ninetypercent.

Ninetypercent?

Absolutehonestyisn'talwaysthemostdiplomaticnorthesafestformof

communicationwithemotionalbeings.

Ninetypercentitis.

Okay,well,I'vebeengoing

throughallofyouroldletters...andcompilingthemintomyfavorites,andacoupleweeksago...Isentthemtoa

publisher.

Actually,Isentitfromyou.

Huh?

Politicswasoncethemeansofchoosingtheleaders.Now

themachinesdoit.

Machinesmerelyanalyzethedatathataregiventothembyus.Theleadersareselectedas

aresultofthatanalysis.

Doyouknowhowthemachineanalyzesthedata?

Thenyoumightalmostsaythatthemachineselecttheleaders.

Iuh..well,no,notexactly.

ThisisforyourownGOOD!

NEVER!

“Lettherebenoexceptionsmade,no

quartershown;letusatonce

gobacktotheprimeval

conditionoftherace."

--SamuelButler(1863),“DarwinAmongsttheMachines”

"Wartothedeathshouldbeinstantlyproclaimedagainstthem.Everymachineofeverysortshouldbedestroyedbythewell-wisherofhisspecies.”

“ThouShaltNotSufferaWitchtoLive”--Exodus22:18