Divorce Prevention 101

The permanency of marriageby

Brian Birdow

Sermon text: Matthew 5:17f

www.cmcoc.org

False views of marriageHollywood!

• The Bachelor show

• The Bachelorette show

• Bride-zilla

• Divorce court

Biblical view of marriageObjective of lesson

1. Permanency of Marriage

2. Understand marriage is ordained of God.

3. Understand what you have or about to enter into.

4. To know God expects marriage to be for life

Permanency of Marriage

• Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.

• Genesis 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

• Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

It does matter who you marry!• Genesis 6:2 That the sons of God saw the

daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.

• Genesis 6:5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

• Genesis 6:7 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for I am sorry that I have made them.

Marriage is to be Holy• Leviticus 20:10 And the man that commits adultery

with another man's wife, even he that commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

• Deuteronomy 22:22 If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shall you put away evil from Israel.

• Proverbs 6:32 Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;He who does so destroys his own soul.

A cause for divorce

• Deuteronomy 24:1-2 When a man has taken a wife, and married her, and it comes to pass that she finds no favor in his eyes, because he has found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and put it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

A cause for divorce• Deuteronomy 24:3 And if the latter husband

hates her, and writes her a bill of divorcement, and puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house; or if the latter husband dies, who took her to be his wife;

• Deuteronomy 24:4 Her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and you shall not cause the land to sin, which the LORD your God gives you for an inheritance.

Uncleanness defined

• Hebrew word is “Erva” Strong’s H6172

• nakedness, nudity, shame, pudenda

• pudenda (implying shameful exposure)

• nakedness of a thing, indecency, improper behaviour exposed, undefended (fig.)

Bill of Divorcement• Jeremiah 3:8 And I saw, when for all the causes for

which backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

• Isaiah 50:1 Thus says the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have you sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.

Overview of Matthew 5

• Jesus began on one level (that of the scribes and Pharisees) and now He brings the people to the next level. If they do not respect all of the commandments and teach others to do the same, then they are on the same level as that of the scribes and Pharisees

Matthew 5:19

• Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

Break or Annul• The word annul is translated “relax” or “break.” The

Rabbi’s counted 613 commandments in the Old Law and made some more important than others. Jesus is saying that whoever relaxes (regards more lightly - 16:19; 18:18) will still be in the kingdom, but will be least in the kingdom.

• This does not mean that, since they did not think one command as important as another, they decided not to obey it. They still obeyed it, but they felt it to be less significant than other laws (see Mt 23:23).

Jesus teaches and corrects1. Angry (murder) …………5:21-26

2. Adultery (lust) ……………5:27-30

3. Divorce (fornication) ………5:31-32

4. Vows (word is your bond)………5:33-37

5. Revenge (Do extra)…………..5:38-42

6. Vengeance (love)………..…….5:43-48

Key Verse

• Matthew 5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus teaches on Divorce

• Matthew 5:31 It has been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:

• Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.

Jesus teaches on marriage

• Matthew 5:31 It has been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:

• Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.

Objection!

• There are those who argue that once a divorce occurs the marriage bond is broken.

Over-ruled!• This passage will not allow such a conclusion.

Jesus says that whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. How can it be adultery if she was no longer bound to another?

• It cannot. Therefore, in the eyes of God, she is still bound. To marry another would be to commit adultery.

Two direct consequences1. He might force her into an adulterous situation

- because she would likely remarry without having a God-approved reason. However, if he divorced her because of adultery, it would be her own fault.

• Equally, it would be her sin (of adultery) if she choose to remarry - even though she did not have the scriptural right to remarry.

Two direct consequences

• 2. He might end up in a marriage himself that is adulterous, by marrying someone who has been put away by another

Single or reconciliation • 1 Corinthians 7:10 And unto the married I

command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

• 1 Corinthians 7:11 But if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Matthew 5:32

• But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.

• Read it proleptically: she is called and adulteress because she may easily become one.