DO NOW

• Split a half sheet of paper with your partner and number 1 through 21.

Preview p.42

1. What went through your mind when you first read the question?

2. How did you make your decision?3. What would have happened if you could have talked

about it?4. How would you choose who received the 15?5. Was your decision swayed by what your peers would

think?6. What is more important… individual gain? Or

common good?

Social Relations:Conflict, Attraction, Altruism, & Peacemaking

Reading Notes pp.758 -62Notebook p.43

5 or 15: A Social Trap

• Social traps challenge us to find ways of reconciling our right to pursue our personal well-being with our responsibility for the well-being of all

• The optimistic goal is that we realize we live in an increasingly interdependent world and that we make the selfish choice at our own peril.

Conflict

Why You Need Friends (2 Reasons)

#1: Anxiety and Companionship • We need company the most when we are

afraid or anxious• Case study

Schacter (1959)

• Dr. Zilstein “Misery loves company”• People suffering from a high level of anxiety or more

likely to seek out company than those who feel less anxious

• One group of women greeted by frightening looking man… “electric shocks that would be extremely painful, but would cause no skin damage” <high anxiety group

• Friendly to second group and told “shocks would produce ticklish, tingling sensations” <low anxiety group

Why You Need Friends

#2: Comparing Experiences and Reducing Uncertainty

• We want to be around others in similar circumstances

• Example • We also want support

How We Choose Friends (6 ways)

#1: Lives Close

• Physical Proximity = the distance from one another (living and working)

#2: Reward Values

• Stimulation Value = the friend is interesting or imaginative or can introduce you to new ideas or experiences

#2: Reward Values cont..

• Utility Value = a friend who is cooperative and helpful

#2: Reward Values cont..

• Ego – support Value = a friend who can offer support in good and bad times

#3: Physical Appearance

• People feel better about themselves when they associate with people whom others consider desirable

• We consider physical beauty to relate to intellect, kindness, poise, etc…

• Beauty is only skin deep?

#4: Approval

• We tend to like people who agree with us

#5: Similarity

• We choose people who have the same interests and beliefs as us

#6: Complementary Friends

• The attraction that often develops between opposite types of people because of the ability of one to supply what the other lacks

Loving

• Two types of Love #1 Passionate Love = intense, sensual and all

consuming“Adrenaline makes the heart grow fonder”#2 Companionate Love = includes friendship,

mutual trust, and liking “Love makes the time pass, and timemakes love pass.”

Liking versus Loving

Liking • Based on respect and similarity Loving• Need or attachment• Caring and the desire to give• Intimacy

Triangular Theory of Love

• Intimacy = feeling close to someone • Passion = physical arousal • Commitment = maintaining the relationship

over time

Triangular Theory of Love

• Dr. David S. Kantra

Altruism

• March 13, 1964• Kitty Genovese • bystander effect

Norms for Social Responsibility

• Social exchange theory: maximize benefits; minimize costs

• Reciprocity norm: return help• Social-responsibility norm: help those who

need our help

Process p.42

• Do you regret not getting along with some friends or family members? How might you go about reconciling that relationship?