DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths: An Asylum Challenge

Part 1: Meet the Patients

"Hello, I'm Sally Perkington, and I'll be introducing you to DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths!

"Here at DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths, we believe in the potential of even the most reprehensible person to be rehabilitated into a functioning, contributing member of society!

"Our facility is a verdant jewel in the heart of Strangetown. Patients can walk the grounds admiring the landscaping, fish in the fully-stocked pond, or interact with each other on the perfectly-groomed lawn!

"At DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths, we feel that bars and fences inhibit the personal growth of our patients, but don't worry--if they attempt to leave the lot, a gentle shock will be administered, thus ensuring the safety of nearby residents!"

"The interior of DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths is as bright and airy as the outside! How can our patients grow and heal if they're surrounded by padded walls and shabby decor?

"We have a television available for all the residents to share. They can watch educational programming 'round the clock if they choose! And our bookshelves are stocked with a number of self-help books to assist our patients on their journey of self-discovery!

"A mirror in the main living area helps the patients at DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths maintain a healthy self-image, and if introspection leads to a breakthrough, then we've done our job!"

"Here at DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths, we feel that allowing our patients the freedom to make their own choices, both good and bad, is essential for proper rehabilitation.

"Residents have 24-hour access to the kitchen--midnight snacks are A-OK at DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths!"

"You can see we also encourage interaction and intellectual growth at DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths. Chess is a perfect way to learn to plan ahead, and also builds the sort of strong relationships that are essential for healing!

"Our picture window next to the chess table gives the patients a striking view of our lovely grounds. Some residents may take the opportunity to cheat their competitor; though we might frown on such underhandness, patients are allowed to behave however they choose, but they should keep in mind that actions might have consequences!"

"In keeping with our theme of healing through making good personal decisions, the conservatory at DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths contains a piano and a Dance Sphere--no sense putting a healthy mind in an unfit body!

"The conservatory also features three walls of windows, connecting the people inside with the pure goodness of Mother Nature!"

"Of course, even the best facilities need financial contributions, and DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths is no different! We're committed to maintaining the highest standards of patient care, but that's becoming increasingly difficult in an era of budget cuts!

"Unfortunately, we've had to make sacrifices in our facilities to be able to afford the best caretakers for our residents! As you can see, there is only one toilet for eight people, and one shower and sink as well! In addition, we've had to sell some of our furniture to replace some kitchen items that were lost in an accidental fire, and we were unable to install fire alarms or a sprinkler system!

"Please consider making a monetary donation to DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths--our patients need your help if they're to be rehabilitated!"

"Even the dormitory has seen the effects of the budget cuts! We have only five beds for eight residents!

"Given the current conditions, it will be difficult for our patients to stay happy. Fortunately, we have the number one doctor in Strangetown hard at work! Once she reaches Permaplat, the patients will be released! Too bad the budget cuts also prevent the use of Aspiration or Career Rewards, and the other seven residents will have to be on their own if she's to succeed!

"And now, let's meet the head doctor at DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths!"

*Asylum challenge designed by Simscout: one playable Sim, seven uncontrollable Sims, limited supplies, $100 in the bank--the playable Sim reaching Permaplat ends the challenge, and it's scored based on several different factors (including the survival rate of the other Sims!).

"Heh. I give her ten minutes."Give who?"That Sally Perkington chick. First time someone splats her with a water balloon, she's gonna break down in tears! And then I will laugh."Why would someone splat her with a water balloon?"Duh, she's the playable!"Since when? She's just the corporate fundraising shill!"So who's the unlucky geek who got roped into being the playable? Spill already, I wanna go mock them!"Um... Sally did say she was cutting to the ringleader of this little circus...

"What? You want me to be the playable in this nuthouse? The hell? Look, this is when you torture someone else's SimSelf. Or someone else's Sims! You don't do this to your own SimSelf! I mean, I'm not even a doctor!"*cough*"Okay, I'm a PhD in behavioral neuroendocrinology! A choice specifically made to AVOID people who are sick or crazy! I'm not a 'people' person over here!"Sorry; I found it amusing.

"Wait, what am I even worried about? A houseful of SimSelves doing silly things like starving half to death and peeing themselves... This is cake!"Have you been paying attention to what the nice perky corporate shill has been saying?"Eh, you know me, all I hear from those people is 'Who wants to see the pickle room?' Why?"The name of the Asylum is "DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths.""That's a little harsh. I'm sure very few SimSelves are the avatars of sociopaths. So where are the unlucky contestants? Oh, wait, I see them!"

"Hey, whose SimSelf is the spiky-haired green chick? That's kind of an odd choice."Um..."That's not a SimSelf, is it?"Not as such."That's Uranium Apocalypso, isn't it?"Sort of.

"You stuck me in an Asylum with Uranium Freaking Apocalypso? What did I ever do to you?"

"OK, OK, again I'm worrying over nothing. I mean, this is an Asylum, right? Uranium's probably rolled something amusingly ironic, like she's a Family Sim with eight nice points and two neat points and she's gonna spend the next few weeks cuddling Flour Sack Timmy."Well, uh..."What did you do?"It wouldn't be a Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths if they weren't, you know, unrepentant sociopaths."Meaning...?"Meaning the Aspirations and personalities of the patients are intact.

Patient: Uranium ApocalypsoOriginal Story: Apocalypso-A-Go-GoAuthor: EphemeralToast (boolprop.com)/ephemeraltoast (Exchange)Stats: Scorpio 10/5/10/4/1; RomanceBio: As if you needed telling--Uranium's the diabolical potty-worshipping Apocalypse spare who had her brother-in-law Mr. Big's baby, who grew up to be the equally-noseless Plutonium. Her Bachelorette Challenge featured more deaths than... well, most Asylums, actually.

"OhcrapI'mgoingtodieeeeee..."Aw... That's only a possibility if they set the kitchen on fire when you're home!"Please tell me there's at least one person in this house with more nice points than me."Gaius has nine.

Patient: Gaius Caesar (Caligula)Original Story: Ten Caesars LegacyAuthor: Blite27/Netsfn1427Stats: Pisces 5/2/7/5/9; Grilled CheeseBio: Gaius is everyone's favorite Grilled Cheese genocidal maniac. The onetime Emperor of Rome was behind several deaths in his extended family, even going so far as to plot the deaths of his wife and son, though he was murdered by the family Servo before those plans came to fruition. He's a Grilled Cheese Sim here too, which means he'll either keep everyone well-fed or burn the place down. Even odds on which!

"Gaius? Gaius CAESAR? You threw me in here with freaking CALIGULA? ...You know what, just spill. Who else am I stuck with?"Aside from Uranium and Gaius?"Aside from those two psychos, yes."

Kirstial Legacina."Great, great, coming off of her latest murder. Yay."

Patient: Kirstial LegacinaOriginal Story: Pseudo LegacyAuthor: Orikes/orikes360Stats: Gemini 3/7/7/8/0; KnowledgeBio: Kirstial kicked off the Pseudo Legacy by murdering her sister-in-law, brother, and father as part of a deal for immortality and untold power. While temporarily de-powered in Terra Lostundo, she continued to plot against the main family, and recently regained some of her strength by killing one of the Legacy spares.

Salahuddin Chamcha."Please tell me you left him a vampire, and he's gonna crispy-fry in ten minutes."Nope!

Patient: Salahuddin ChamchaOriginal Story: Bookacy Alphabet LegacyAuthor: katrih83Stats: Sagittarius 2/3/9/7/4; KnowledgeBio: Named for the villain in the Satanic Verses, Salahuddin had an affair with Legacy founder Author, fathering a child, Aadam. In an effort to steal Author from her husband, he kidnapped and threatened the life of Aadam's half-brother Adson's girlfriend--who also happened to be Aadam's ex-lover. The girl was killed, and Salahuddin escaped with his life and an increasingly disillusioned Aadam.

Oh, and Vee Semper."Fantastic, she and Kirstial can have loads of fun talking about all the people they've used magic to kill and/or try to kill."

Patient: Vee SemperOriginal Story: The Science of a LegacyAuthor: GintasticNecatStats: Aries 6/10/7/4/1; FortuneBio: When former Legacy heiress Vee's story died due to a bork, Vee decided to bring Gin's new Legacy to a screeching halt, attacking and killing Carapace Tegenaria, forcing Saeva to become the heiress. Vee followed that up with stealing the wits of the elderly Repens and manipulating Saeva's hapless cousin Bertie into trying to cause harm to his own family. Ultimately, Saeva tricked Vee into being present for her death, and Vee was destroyed along with Saeva, saving the Tegenarias.

And there's Cecil Goodytwoshoes."Finally--a non-murderer! To what do I owe the honor?"

Patient: Cecil GoodytwoshoesOriginal Story: Squeaky Clean LegacyAuthor: professorbutters/Loolooloo 16playStats: Virgo 10/2/9/10/1; FortuneBio: Unlucky enough to be born male into a matriarchy, he nevertheless attempted to become heir, and was behind a plan to make his daughter Cecilia the heiress. The lone non-murderer of the bunch, Cecil has preferred manipulation to physical confrontation, given the inherent messiness of violence. He's also technically Gaius's son.

So, yeah, that's more or less it."I count six nutjobs. Who's the seventh?"Um... Cypress?

Patient: Cypress VetinariOriginal Story: Vetinari DualegacyAuthor: DrSupremeNerd (which is to say, me)Stats: Aries 10/10/9/3/1; KnowledgeBio: His big brother Larch was named Uglacy heir, so Cy decided to get his revenge. His bid for vengeance resulted in his murder of his wife to get his hands on the fabled power of a Reaper Child. Possibly more appalling than killing his wife is his treatment of his children--he forced his eldest son, half-alien Cassidy, to raise his younger siblings; completely ignored his daughter Delirium; and is keeping Reaper Child Spider Jerusalem firmly under his thumb (or so he thinks).

"CYPRESS? You stuck me in here with my own villain? I so do not deserve this."Let's just say maybe this'll teach Riverblossom Hills-you to stop heart-farting every adult male Sim she meets."Yeah, because of the transitive properties of SimSelfery."Hey, it could happen."So what's the damage? What do I have to do to get out of here? You didn't do anything stupid like roll for my Aspiration, didn't you?"Nope. Knowledge.

"OK, at least one thing's gone right today. So what's my LTW? Please tell me it's to reach the top of a career."Max 7 Skills."With no Aspiration or Career Rewards? I am going to be here forever!"It's legit to tune the seasons to fall/fall/fall/fall. That's the best I can do. And even though it's not your LTW, you still gotta get a job, because you'll need the cash."So I'm stuck in an Asylum. With seven mental, uncontrollable Legacy villains, all of whom have their original Aspirations and original--nasty--personalities. And I'm stuck with a Legacy-certified Impossible Want that I can't use any Rewards to fulfill."That about sums it up.

"OhcrapIreallyamgoingtodieeeeee..."

Well, now that all the paperwork is out of the way, time to get started!

*I did have to make Gaius and Vee playable so that I could fix their hair. I mimimized the Needs panel before I clicked on them, and didn't look at their LTWs, although Gaius's is obviously Eat 200 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.*

Cecil: "We seem to be experiencing a period of precipitation."Cypress: "I hadn't noticed."Cecil: "Sarcasm is quite unbecoming."Cypress: "...Are there any moldy pizzas handy?"

Uranium: "You think you could figure out a way out of this joint? I haven't WooHooed everyone in THIS version of Strangetown yet."Salahuddin: "I'll trade you an escape tunnel for a cowplant."Uranium: "Counteroffer: an escape tunnel for some evil alien WooHoo."Salahuddin: "...I'd rather have the cowplant."

Kirstial: "I may not have magic, but I have water balloons!"SimNerd: "RealNerd? I hate you so, so much right now."

Cypress: "Eeevil hug?"Cecil: "Even were we more appropriately attired, Mr. Vetinari, such physical contact with a virtual stranger would be distasteful."

Gaius: "You! Non-Emperor. Tell me more of this Eeevil with the extra 'e's."Cypress: "Well, it's like evil. Only more so. It's Eeevil."Gaius: "Am I right in thinking that killing or attempting to kill a significant portion of one's family would warrant the extra 'e's?"Cypress: "...I think you just might be my new hero."

Vee: "You're in my seat."Gaius: "Emperor gets dibs."Kirstial: "Since when is that a rule?"Gaius: "Emperor gets to make the rules!"Vee: "Emperor's rules suck."Gaius: "People who disagree with the Emperor's rules are summarily put to death!"Kirstial: "If I weren't in this stupid Asylum, I'd be turning Emperor into a greasy smudge on the floor right about now."

Ah, now there's a beautiful sight... Eight Sims gaining cooking skill...

HOORAY!

One down!

Sixty-nine to go.

*sobs*

Uranium: "I've never gotten a word of complaint! Mostly because they all knew what would happen if they whined."Vee: "We get it, we get it, you're an evil Romance Sim!"

SimNerd: "I'd be careful, Uranium. That's the sort of conversation that gets you stuck as the controllable Sim in an Asylum."Gaius: "I suppose you'd know."Cypress: "Hmmmm... Knowledge Sim..."Salahuddin: "Yes. Female Knowledge Sim..."

Cypress: "I saw her first."Salahuddin: "I'm closer."Cypress: "Two bolts in Riverblossom Hills."Salahuddin: "Good thing this is Strangetown."Kirstial: "I'm also a female Knowledge Sim!"Cypress: "But if we stalk you, it's not nearly as much fun."SimNerd: "Never gonna happen. ANY of you. So you can just keep those horrible Wants to yourself! ...Which I guess will happen anyway, since there's no clicking on you."

And now for the Kirstial and Cecil Simultaneous Crankiness Funtime Hour!

Were they separated at birth?

Do they just enjoy doing the same things at the same time?

Is it just because they're so freaking grumpy?

We may never know!

Vee: "Is this like a club or something? Is there a secret handshake? A secret EVIL handshake?"

And now for the first test of the Asylum--can we get through a meal without any fires? By my calculation, everyone's got two Cooking points.

I remodeled the kitchen a bit--moved the stoves away from the counters. You can see the sink in a separate room at the top of the shot. That way, the sponge-bathers won't prevent anyone else from using the kitchen.

Uranium: "Mrrrrow! I detect a fellow worshipper of the Potty God! If only that shirt were a little lower in the back."Cypress: "I am not a piece of meat!"Uranium: "Scrub that counter, human! But more slowly. And bend over a little more... Yes, yes, scrub it..."Cypress: "You're my oldest son's half-sister. I may be Eeevil, but this is just icky."Uranium: "Please--have you seen the Apocalypso Family Tree? Plutonium's nephews are also his uncles."Cypress: "The Vetinari Family Tree branches. You should try it some time."

Gaius: *BRAAAAP*Uranium: "Filthy cheese cultist."Cecil: "Mr. Caesar--"Gaius: "Emperor."Cecil: "Quite. Such eructations are most uncouth, and reflect poorly on a man of your standing."Gaius: "You know who calls the Emperor out on his bodily functions? NO ONE. Or else I serve up my 'special' grilled cheese sandwiches."

Cypress: "I JUST cleaned that counter."SimNerd: "Well, now you get to clean it again."Cypress: "Yay!"

He got two Cleaning points for cleaning up after lunch.

Vee: *WHACK*Gaius: "Hey! I'm an Emperor over here! Enough with the baseball to the face!"Vee: "Guess what, EMPEROR! You're stuck in this Asylum just like the rest of us, wearing backless plaid pajamas, so nuts to your 'Emperor dibs' and 'Emperor rules'! If you're really lucky, we'll forget all about your lofty status and we won't mock Emperor Gaius Caesar for green-fuming in the middle of a pee puddle!"Cecil: "I concur most heartily, Ms. Semper."

Salahuddin: "I really can't tell who's dumber here--Uranium for agreeing to play catch with Cecil, or Cecil for hurling a baseball at Uranium."

Gaius: "Vee has insulted the Emperor. I do not like Vee. She goes on the top of the 'Servo Assassination' list."

Cypress: "It occurs to me that I maybe should have eaten lunch instead of cleaning up after everyone else."

Salahuddin: "...Ow... My spine..."

Cecil: "Mr. Vetinari was kind enough to leave me a countertop."

Gaius: "You know, in a way, murder's not really all that bad. It's eco-friendly composting."Cypress: "Not if you keep them in the house."Gaius: "Why would you want to do that?"Cypress: "Knowledge Sim--Aspiration points for See Ghost Of Murdered Wife. It's easier if I don't have to traipse around outside for that."

Vee: "Some of these people are kinda crazy, huh?"Uranium: "ALL you useless humans are crazy! Except for the sexy blonde Potty Worshipper."

Gaius: "Someone fetch the Emperor some ibuprofen."

Uranium: "AAHHH! Vee is naked in the bathtub... And I'm not in there with her."Gaius: "Yeah, I'm just gonna... go... now."

Cecil: "Really, Mr. Vetinari, logical consideration would indicate that global domination is neither possible nor desirable. It would be ludicrous to assume that one person could rule the world unopposed."Cypress: "You're missing the point. Why not aim big?"

Well, I guess now we know where Spider Jerusalem gets it.

Salahuddin: "Make it stop! For love of all that's unholy, make it stop!"Vee: "You're just jealous because YOU wanted to play the piano very, very badly."

Cypress: "Sho ska, loser!"SimNerd: "This is me skilling myself into platinum and ignoring you."

Uranium: "Did... Did the perky woman just poke me?"Sally: "The nine nice points lie!"

Uranium: "NO ONE pokes Uranium Apocalypso and lives to tell the tale! Foolish human, you have awakened a sleeping, evil, noseless lion!"Sally: "Whatevs."

o_O

...I think it's time for Sally to go home now.

Uranium: "Hats! Hats are horrible and must be stopped! ...It's so hard to kiss someone when their hat's glitching through your forehead."

Kirstial: "Hehehe, yeah... You might not wanna share that perspective with Salahuddin, though."Uranium: "Pfft. He'd rather have a cowplant than sweet sweet evil alien WooHoo."Gaius: "I'D rather have a cowplant than evil alien WooHoo."Uranium: "Shut your piehole, Bootsie*, no one asked you."Gaius: "EMPEROR."

*Gaius Caesar is also known as Caligula, which translates from the Latin as "little boots."

Sally: "How'd you like to make a contribution to DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths--as FERTILIZER?"Uranium: "Generally, when my pupils disappear, people make a concerted effort to get to the relative safety of some sort of fallout shelter."

Sally: "You don't scare me!"

Uranium: "I SHOULD."

As this was occurring, I got a popup that said Uranium gained a point of Cooking. I guess from stirring up trouble.

Cecil: "I see someone on the horizon who wishes to use the bathtub for its intended hygienic purpose... Such a shame that I will be here for another hour."

Gaius: *SPLOOSH*Kirstial: "Seriously. Greasy smudge."

Vee: "I'm hungry! I think I'll quite sensibly stop playing the piano and go feed myself!"

I got another popup that said Uranium gained another Cooking point.

...I do not want to know what kind of recipes she's getting out of that copy of Man Maid Lust.

Kirstial: "I'm tired! The beds are all full! ...I think I'll go sleep on the couch."

For a bunch of crazy evil people, they're possessed of a high degree of common sense.

SimNerd: zzzzzSogonnalaughwhenUraniumkicksyourperkyasszzzzzzzzz

Cecil: zzzzzzzMeeeeezzzzzzzz

Cypress: zzzzzzzMeeeeeezzzzzzz

Cypress: "Eeevil AND sexy. I'm a double-threat."

Cypress: "Hey there! I made the bed for you!"Uranium: "I am capable of making my OWN beds! Although I must say these are far too narrow. Perhaps some athletic creativity on your part is necessary..."Cypress: "Still icky."

I don't know what they are laughing about. I'm sure if I did, it would frighten me.

Salahuddin: "I think they make pills for OCD now."Cecil: "Mr. Vetinari, I believe it was MY turn to clean the countertops."Cypress: "You snooze, you lose, Ceece."

Cecil: "Then I suppose I will have to content myself with cleaning this sink. Incidentally, I will thank you to never call me 'Ceece' again. 'Mr. Goodytwoshoes' would be preferable, but you may call me 'Cecil' if you absolutely require that degree of informality."

Uranium: "I gotta have a religious experience over here!"

Kirstial: "Do I care that Gaius is standing in the room staring at the shower? Nope!"

Kirstial: "Do not interrupt my bathtub piracy! What part of 'greasy smudge' do you not understand!"

Uranium: "I will do as I please, and you will let me. The power of the Potty God protects me!"

Cypress: "Can't we all just get along, female Knowledge Sim with whom I would inevitably have two bolts, were my gender preference set?"Kirstial: "No hugging!"Uranium: "Cypress is preventing me from poking Kirstial!"

Uranium: "The Potty Worshipper is mine!"Cypress: "OK, one, I'm not a Potty Worshipper, and two, I'm so, so not yours."Kirstial: "You did NOT just poke me."

Kirstial: "Kirstial Legacina does not take insults lightly!"Cypress: "Hey, chick fight! Aaalllllll riiiiight!"

Uranium: "Your threats are hollow. Mine are not."Gaius: "Can I just take a shower or something?"Cypress: "Don't you wanna watch the chick fight?"Gaius: "Emperor demands a shower!"

Kirstial: "Fighting with Uranium makes me hungry!"Uranium: "What are YOU looking at, Bootsie?"Gaius: "Look, I just want to bathe. And don't call me 'Bootsie'."

Gaius: "GO AWAY ALREADY!"Cecil: "So, Mr. Vetinari?"Kirstial: "This is so not getting me fed! But do go on."

Cecil: "This morning, he burned his pancakes!"Kirstial: "Yeah, that was worth starving for."Gaius: "OUT NOW. EMPEROR COMMANDS YOU TO GO OUT NOW."

I think Cecil's trying to kill Kirstial. Her thumbnail's an amusing shade of yellow, and he goes and starts a pillow fight. But Kirstial and Cecil are now outside of the rug-divider around the tub, so Gaius isn't whining anymore.

Uranium: *SLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAP*Cecil: "I find that violence is seldom the answer, Ms. Apocalypso."Uranium: "Can it, you supercilious little twit, unless you want a piece of this."

Kirstial: "Oh, you just jumped straight to the top of my 'greasy smudge' list! Hey, Gaius, you just got a reprieve!"Uranium: *hissssss*

And how do they react to the confrontation?

Kirstial: "Waaah! She hit me!"

Uranium: *biff*

Keep in mind that Uranium actually has more nice point than Kirstial. And yet she did not slink off and cry about being hit. We'll have to see if that changes if Kirstial initiates the slapping.

Vee: "I haven't eaten or peed or showered yet today, but I'm having fun!"

SimNerd: " 'Kay, I got a promotion today, but my Comfort's Tanked and Salahuddin's in the tub and I need an easy skill point if I'm gonna stay platinum, and this'll get me a Logic point or two and get my Comfort back into the green, so I'm gonna sit here and we're gonna play, and you're gonna cheat me a whole bunch of times and I probably won't catch you."Cypress: "As long as we're clear on that."

Yup--he cheats before the first piece is even on the board.

Uranium: "Would you just finish up with that silly little game and come over here so I can pound you into meat jelly?"Kirstial: "Let me think about that... NO."

Vee: "My portrait's really starting to turn orangey now!"Salahuddin: "Look at me, I'm dancing crazy!"

Gaius: "Someone fetch the Emperor some Dramamine."

Uranium: "My super-alien enemy sense is tingling..."

Cecil: zzzzzzzzzzMeeeeeezzzzzzzzCypress: "Mornin'! I tell ya, there's worse things to wake up to than the sight of a hot female Knowledge Sim in her underwear!"SimNerd: zzzzzzzzShutthehellupIgottaworkinthreehourszzzzzzzKirstial: "Sorry, pal; I like 'em supernatural."Cypress: "I had a son with the Grim Reaper."Kirstial: "Unless you're gonna hook me up with him, keep your thought bubbles to yourself."SimNerd: zzzzzzzzSeriouslySTFUzzzzzzzzzz

They're waving cheerfully at each other, while making "grrrr-face" and double-minusing each other.

What's wrong with this picture?

This was inevitable, no?

And this is, like, the morning of Day 3, so we got a whooooole lot more of this coming up.

*gets a piece of paper to keep track of Win/Loss record*

Vee: "Uranium and Kirstial are fighting and I have to pee! Oh, wait, the door's in the other direction. Never mind."

But Uranium's gained a Body point on the Dance Sphere and Kirstial hasn't, so Uranium wins this one pretty handily. Time to start playing catchup, Kirstial!

Uranium: "I just beat up Kirstial."Salahuddin: "That's great. But if you don't have a cowplant on you, you really need to get out of the bathroom."Uranium: "I always like some post-fight WooHoo."Salahuddin: "Good luck with that."

Kirstial finishes crying about losing the fight, and Vee comes over to argue.

Kirstial REALLY needs to get on that Dance Sphere instead of Playing Catch with Cecil, Gaius, and Salahuddin all day.

The words...

They fail me...

Yeah, you're just gonna have to come up with a caption for this one on your own, folks.

Keep in mind that Cecil and Cypress are both in their underwear.

Yeah, um... moving on...

Salahuddin: "Why do I feel like this is a bad idea?"

Uranium: "Because you're oddly perceptive!"

SimNerd: "Freakin' Gaius broke the freakin' piano and I need a freakin' Creativity point for my freakin' job which I don't even freakin' need and some of the freakin' inmates have more freakin' skill points than me and WOO, I could almost have freakin' maxed Creativity too VEE, if all I had to do all freakin' day is sit around and freakin' skill but Nooooo, I gotta freakin' work to pay the freakin' bills and would someone please give me a freakin' silver lining here?"Well, you need the Mechanical point too.

*sobs*

Cecil: "You have a most amusing 'swimming' face, Ms. Legacina. Might I join you in some bathtub piracy?"Kirstial: "Sorry, but there's only one tub, and not enough room for two!"

SimNerd: "OUT OUT OUT!"Cecil: "There is no cause for rudeness, Doctor."SimNerd: "I need a freakin' shower, and both of you need to get out of the freakin' rug divider, because I'm not gonna be the first person to freakin' green-fume around here! NOW GET!"

SimNerd: "I DO NOT NEED A FREAKIN' AUDIENCE!"Cypress: "I see London, I see Jodhpur, I see my creator's Censor Blur!"SimNerd: "...If I killed you, do you know how many people would be lining up to dance on your grave?"

Cecil: "I am shocked! So that is what an unclad female form looks like!"Kirstial: "Geez, you say that like you've never seen one before!"Cecil: "..."SimNerd: "You are dead. So dead. All of you. Dead. Do you hear me? DEAD."

Cecil wanders off--presumably the sight of ZOMG NAKED WOMAN was too much to handle--and gets himself fit on the Dance Sphere. I've only seen him fall off maybe twice; Salahuddin and Gaius ride this thing way more, and get tossed far more frequently.

So I guess nobody better mess with Cecil from here on out.

Then Cecil decides to try out his newfound fitness.

Uranium: "For someone who frowns on physical violence, you're pretty good at it."

Gaius finally stays on long enough to get fit as well. Like son, like father?

Gaius and Cecil have a good laugh about something. Underhanded scheming, probably.

...You know, I never really noticed how much they look alike until just now.

Well, that's all for this installment. Thanks to ephemeraltoast, Blite27, Orikes, katrih83, GintasticNecat, and professorbutters for creating such great villains! Also check out boolprop.com for loads of great stories.

*sigh*