Double BindsFamily and Divorce

Stephanie GilloolyFS – 121November 2, 2011

Divorce in the United States

11 % of the United States population is divorced

Average length of divorce proceedings: 1 year

50% of first marriages end in divorce

1 in 4 adults has had a divorce

Children Involved in Divorce

40% of divorced mothers reported that they had interfered with the fathers visitation to punish him.

50% of mothers see no value in the fathers continued contact with his children.

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

Nearly 2 of every 5 children in America do not live with their fathers

Children’s Double Binds

Can’t please their parents

Parents mad about child’s choice of one or the other Mom’s house Dad’s house Can’t win

Children’s Double Binds

Child as mediator Parents argue through child Child doesn’t know what to say Caught in the middle Child blamed Wrong either way

Parent Double Binds

Deciding where the child(ren) will live Either way the child will be missing out

Divorce Proceedings Money House Custody

Step-Parent Double Binds

Can’t get in the middle Accused of not caring if they don’t Negative connotations

Consequences

Child develops anger because they cant make the “right” choice

Child resents parent(s) Blames them when older

Parents hate each other Loss of communication

Possible Ways to Get Out

Child tells parents how they feel Wont choose one over the other Doesn’t want to be in the middle

Family therapists Parents need to compromise

Think of the child first Child > money/house

Works Cited

http://www.divorcestatistics.org/ http://www.census.gov/hhes/

socdemo/marriage/ http://www.divorcerate.org/ http://www.childadvocate.net/

divorce_effects_on_children.htm