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B1 6 Oct. 2011www.hillsdalecollegian.com
Drawn by Greg Carlson
When junior Stephan Godles-ki came to Hillsdale College asa freshman, he tried out for thetheater departments 10-minute
plays on a whim. Three yearslater, Godleski stars as Vladimirin this weeks production Wait-ing for Godot.
Playing Vladimir is the mostchallenging roll he has acted, hesaid.
Its exhausting being in themoment the whole time, hesaid. The play is 110 pageswith only ve actors and Imon stage 99 percent of the timewith senior Eric Elefson. We areresponsible for keeping the au-dience tracking and the energyup. The best part is that it is sochallenging.
James Brandon, professorof theatre and director Waitingfor Godot, said working withGodleski was easy.
I always get the senseStephan knows what I want,Brandon said. Thats hard todoto understand a director.
In addition to Waiting for
Godot, Brandon said he alsoworked with Godleski in OurTown, The King Stag, and invarious theater classes.
[Godleski] has a maturity inthe type of choices hes makingfor performance now, Brandonsaid.
Junior Lauren Hughes, as-sistant director of Waiting forGodot, met Godleski on thesecond night of their freshmanyear.
Hughes and her roommatewent to Walmart and ran intoGodleski. As they walkedaround Walmart together,Hughes said Godleski men-tioned doing track in highschool.
I asked if he ever pole-
vaulted, she said. He pausedfor a minute, and then asked (hewas a bit of a big guy back then)
Do I look like I could pole-vault? We burst into laughterthat must have lasted for aboutve minutes. Thats when Iknew college was going to bene.
Hughes, a theater andEnglish double major, saidthat memory still makes hersmile. Since then, the two haveworked together frequently inthe theater department.
Stephan has acted such avariety of roleshe played an
old, exiled warrior in Cymbe-line, he sang several musicalnumbers in Fuente Ovejuna,and he plays an existentialhobo in Waiting for Godot,Hughes said. I dont think[people] realized just how muchof himself and how much efforthe puts forth into what he does.
In addition to acting,Godleski is the Sage Center forthe Arts publicity manager, hasdirected a few of the 10-minutes
plays, and works on costumes,sets, and lighting for his theatertechnology class.
Though, his favorite part iswriting.
Its not my focus here, hesaid. But I hope to create playsin the future. My dream job is to
create sitcoms.Brandon said Godleski haspotential as an actor and writerbut he would need to relocate toa metropolitan hub to pursue atheater career.
He [Godleski] has a verygood chance of making it in theeld. Hell just have to decidehow much he wants to invest,he said.
Godleski was not planningon becoming involved in theaterwhen he came to Hillsdale.
When I came here, I neverthought I would pursue theater,Godleski said. I was going to
be a Political Science major.After the 10-minute plays, it
was something I realized I enjoyand love and wanted to be moreinvolved in.
From there, Godleski pur-sued more roles in the theaterdepartment.
Every play I did, I got moreand more entrenched, Godleskisaid. I didnt t into anywhereelse which made freshman yearhard. Theater just clicked.
While Hillsdale does notspecialize in the arts and theater,Godleski said he is glad to be
studying here.The theater department stillupholds value and integrity butits not as cookie-cutter-ish,Godleski said. Its a place to bediverse on campus.
Godleski said he has grownsignicantly since his freshmanyear. As a freshman, memoriz-ing monologues was hard. Now,it takes him half an hour.
Playing Vladimir has alsocreated an acting mode areaof his brain, Godleski said. Itengages when hes on stage andthen turns off so he is able tofocus on his school work whennot in rehearsal.
I knew I had to be in it, hesaid. Its the experience of alife-time.
(Chuck Grimmett/Collegian)
Wait ends for Waiting for Godot
Emily JohnstonSenior Reporter
Wood, foam, paint, and a lotof patience: this is what it takesto create a theater icon.
Since the play Waiting forGodot by Samuel Beckett wasrst performed on stage in 1953,one element has been consistentand become a highly inuencialsymbol in the theater world:a tree. Hillsdale Colleges setdesigner and theater professorDave Grifths has worked to notonly create visually stimulatingfoliage but to also put his ownspin on the set of a 58-year oldclassic play.
Accompanying a tree thatGrifths described as obvi-ously broken, the set includesa very large pile of junk and arock.
This provides levels forthe actors, Grifths said. Wewanted a little more visual inter-est.
The trash pile, an idea ofGrifths, showcases pieces ofsets of plays from Hillsdales
past. Items include a suit-case from the performance ofRosenstrausse, a cage usedin The King Stag and rakes
from the play Fuente Ovejuna.Audience members may notice a
plethora of other items adorningthe stage such as petticoats, arubber chicken, and a typewriter.
Junior and theater majorMark Keller is playing the roleof Lucky in Waiting for Godotand talked about his experience
performing amidst the set.Its sort of a history of the
department. My favorite item isthe eggbeater. Its awesome thatwe have some crazy little thingson stage.
However, this fun display ofHillsdales theater history alsohas a more signicant meaningto the overall theme of the setdesign. The stage, as is commonwith most productions of Wait-ing for Godot, feels relativelyvoid.
It emphasizes the barenessof their lives. Its a pretty emptyspace. What is there is nothinganyone is going to use, Kellersaid.
Peter Kistler, a sophomoreworking as the Scene ShopSupervisor for Grifths, has
been working on the set fromthe beginning. He described
how the general feel of the setwould emphasize some of thekey points to the audience.
It looks like a wasteland
Its cast off trash, like the char-acters, Kistler said.
The set hardly changes theentire play. The only difference
between the rst and second actis that the tree has a few leaveson it in the second half of the
play.Its the only thing still alive
in a sense in the second act.Its a symbol of life and deathsimultaneously, Keller said.
As a whole, Grifths hasonce again created a new worldin which we get to escape for afew hours. This time though, alot of what he has created willhelp support the overall pointof the play and the message theactors are trying to convey whilealso allowing the audience tointerpret and analyze the imagesfor themselves.
The idea is that Vladimirand Estragon [the main charac-ters in the play] are the refuseof humanity in a sense. Thesetwo characters are waiting.Will Godot solve all of their
problems? Beckett didnt wantto be specic, said Grifths.We like when people say theyunderstand the point. Hopefully
we are making that clearer to theaudience.
Roxanne TurnbullArts Editor
This week Waiting for Godot, an iconic absurdist play bySamuel Beckett, takes the stage in Markel Auditorium.
When Waiting for Godot opened in 1953, the all-consumingdialogue of its protagonists captured the imagination of the worldwith its probing questions of the meaning of existence.
Two men, Vladimir and Estragon, wait alone on the stage forGodot, an unknown person who they think will give their livessignicance. As the show progresses, the two men grow bored, evenas they consider the big questions of who man is.
Some critics pegged the play as nihilistic and atheistic. HillsdaleCollege professors disagree.
It is absurdist and existential, but it is infused with tradition
and references to the Bible. Its a stepping stone to the good, true,and beautiful, director James Brandon said. You cannot have faithwithout doubt.
Brandon, associate professor of theater and speech, said like anygood play, Waiting for Godot challenges its audience.
The plays protagonists seem bored and aimless they con-stantly wonder if they are waiting in the right place and if Godotwill ever arrive. At one point, they consider hanging themselves, but
become overwhelmed by the possibility of loneliness if one wasunsuccessful the other would be left alone.
I have no idea what the meaning of the play might be, saidJames Stephens, associate professor of philosophy, but it capturedthe imagination of a generation or rather several of them.
To help students grapple with the meaning and context ofWaiting for Godot, the theater department will bring in a differ-ent professor each night to discuss the play. These professors spanthe English, philosophy, and theater departments and introduce the
performance each night as well as hosting a short discussion with
audience members.To watch this play is to participate in the absurd world Beckett
tries to show us, said Justin Jackson, associate professor of Englishand Thursdays speaker. Every human being ought to have readthis play at least once.
Jackson is joined by Brandon and Stephens, as well as PeterBlum, professor of philosophy and Stephen Smith, associate profes-sor of English, who will each speak on an aspect of the play of theirchoice.
Stephens and Jackson both said students should wrestle with theideas in Waiting for Godot.
All we can do is pass our time in the emptiness in which welive while waiting for a miracle in which something or someoneoutside our ken will reveal to us what matters, Stephens said. Thatnotion of the absurd was endemic to western culture when Beckettwrote it, and perhaps it still is.
Teddy SawyerCollegian Reporter
Portrait of an actor
An iconic set, revisitedStephan Godleski on the setof Waiting for Godot. Heplays the part of Vladimir.(Chuck Grimmet/Collegian)
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. . . by watching RamonaFalls music video for theirsong I Say Fever. Thenwatch it again. And again.
An indie rock band craftedthe dastardly Old West taleas a code to decipher, with
political commentary, ana-grams, and hidden images ina masterfully layered allegory.
The creators wrote the song and the video simultaneously, witheach movement corresponding with the tempo. In the end, themask matters less than the animal underneath.
Now go watch it again. But this time, watch it in a dark roomwith the sound turned up . Youre welcome.
Students, professors, andparents alike enjoy attendingHillsdale Colleges stellar the-ater productions, where theaterstudents have a pride in pre-sentation, according to theaterand speech professor JamesBrandon. With only a coupledays to the opening of the rstmajor production of the season,Waiting for Godot, the entireHillsdale College theaterdepartment is on its toes with
preparation. The play featuresonly ve roles, and the audi-
ence is in for a new perspectivenot seen on the stage in quite awhile.
1997 was the last time I hada cast this small its easier toget a handle on talent, but itsmore work for the actors. Wedont do a show like this veryoften, we try to give opportuni-ties to more actors, Brandonsaid.
As a director, Brandon feelshes done his job when he
brings a playwrights work tolife. Every rehearsal season
bursts with excitement asenthusiasm and ideas come to-gether. It is what Brandon calls,seeing a vision realized.
I like creating art, Brandonsaid. Theater requires a lot oftrust and communication [to besuccessful]; what we have hereworks.
The decision process forchoosing plays has many fac-tors. The department tries totouch on different periods inhistory, alternating musicalsand Shakespeare every otheryear. They purposely run playsin four-year cycles, we wanta student in four years to get ataste of everything, Brandonsaid. In the past, plays haveranged from Shakespearesepic Cymbeline (a three anda half hour production) to themusical, Zombie Prom.
This theater season alsolooks forward to The Impor-tance of Being Earnest, open-
ing in November.Were doing a play people
think of as important, Bran-don says. [Earnest] is one ofthe two most commented on
plays in the 20th century.Its a play everyone knows,
each actor brings their ownpersonality to the character. Itsa classic play shaped by thedirector and the actors, seniorJosh Dygert said.
As two of the cast of Ear-nest, Dygert and sophomoreKatherine Denton did morethan just balancing Earnestand academics: they alsodirected acts in the most recent10-minute plays last week.
My favorite part was work-ing with the script and bringingdimensionality to charactersthat were stereotypical Dygertsaid about his ten-minute p lay,The Secrets Origins of MojoMan. Thrown into the deepend of directing, the theaterstudents enjoyed the challengeof casting and directing a playof their choice. The ten-minute
plays then debuted at the Dawn
Theater in Downtown Hills-dale, a treat and rarity for thenew directors.
At the college level, [actors]are trying to be professional,they work hard, but theresmore freedom to work and ex-
plore and develop something,Denton remarked.
Along with increased profes-sionalism, college providesmyriad experiences to help ac-tors add depth to their roles.
Students arent just chainedto the stage, theyre involvedin other things and have otheractivities. Its nice to see stu-dents involved in all aspects ofcampus life, it makes them bet-ter students. You cant observethe world in a rehearsal hall,Brandon said.
ARTS6 Oct. 2011 B2
www.hillsdalecollegian.com
upcomingarts
in theatersColdwater Cinemas:Contagion (PG-13)Courageous (PG-13)The Lion King 3D (G)
Premiere Theater Hillsdale:50/50 (R)
Abduction (PG-13)Dolphin Tale 3D (PG)Dream House (PG-13)Killer Elite (R)Moneyball (PG-13)Whats Your Number? (R)
Movies openingw Friday:The Ides of March (R)Real Steel (PG-13)
artBarbara Bushey:
Art Quilts Oct.8-Nov. 9, DaughtreyGallery, Sage Center
for the Arts
theaterOct. 5-9--- SamuelBecketts Waiting ForGodot performed bythe Tower Players,Markel Auditorium
BE INSPIRED...Sally NelsonWeb Editor
{IN FOCUS
Patrick
timmis
THE VALUE OF
PRETENDINGIm always a little embarrassed to say I did theater in
high school.Maybe its because while I was learning lines, strug-
gling with harmonies and stage managing musicals, mostof my best friends at Hillsdale were breaking high schoolrecords and winning state championships.
Or maybe its the subtle stigma, perceived or real, thatseems to go with theater kids, particularly guys.
But then I get over it.Because theater is one of the best things Ive ever done.You learn a lot when, after months of work, you have
to present in front of hundreds of people. Having to getup on a stage and do your best to entertain those hun-
dreds inevitably imparts a degree of self-condence. Youlearn to think on your feet and improvise when thingsgo wrong. You learn to shake it off and keep going whensomething goes too wrong to cover. Most importantly,you learn to work with and to lead a quirky, talented, andat times egotistical group of people.
I directed a couple of musicals the rst two summersafter graduation, and the value of the theater experienceonly got clearer. There is a special bond that developswithin a cast and crew when the long days of rehearsal,exhausting nights of set and technical design, and earlymornings of xing that disastrous scene from the begin-ning of Act II turn everyone red-eyed, short-tempered,and one more sleepless night away from getting sick. Youget to see people grumpy, unshowered and makeup-less,and you have the opportunity to love them for it.
And then its showtime. The sense of pride, joy, and ac-complishment that follows the curtain falling on a stellaropening night lingers for years. The countless hours ofwork culminate in just a handful of eeting moments of
performance, but youve created something. Youve told a
good story. Youve made art.And theres nothing embarrassing about [email protected]
Natalie MitchellCollegian Freelancer
Art professor displays quilts
eventsGodot Lectures Oct.
6-9, 7 p.m., join profes-sors Jackson, Smith,Blum, Brandon to hearvarious perspectives onWaiting for Godot
Cool Hand LukeOct. 10, 8 p.m., pre-sented by the HillsdaleFilm Society in Philips
AuditoriumTower Dancers
Auditions Oct. 8, 10a.m., Sage PerformanceStudio
A vision realized:
The theater department shines
musicHillsdale Collge Sym-
phony Orchestra,Oct.22, 8 p.m., Markel
AuditoriumJulie Fowlis: Music
of the Scottish IslesOct. 26, 8 p.m., Markel
Auditorium
This Saturday, Oct. 8, Associate Professor of Art BarbaraBushey will be putting on a quilt exhibit at the Sage Center for theArts.
Named Superior Dreams, the exhibit showcases dyed quiltpatterns inuenced by Busheys time at Lake Superior.
We have a cottage up at Lake Superior. And I spend a lotof time looking a t the waves. Bushey said. Its eternal but itsalways changing.
Using ancient shibori techniques Bushey has used the lakesinspiration to create beautiful images of water and rock on quilt
panels. Long practiced in Japan, shibori allows the artist a uniqueavenue of expression.
Busheys panels measure 13 inches across and over 40 incheslong. To make them she binds rocks into the cloth before dyeingeach side a different color. Running stitches are used to hold therocks. After pulling the strings tight Bushey hand dyes the cloth.The stitches keep the dye from completely penetrating the mate-rial.
The use of rocks in the dyeing process is just one of manyshibori techniques that have existed since the 8th Century A.D.Shibori is the process of dyeing cloth with through binding, twist-ing, stitching, or compressing. In the West, tie-dye is its closestequivalent.
Once the rocks are taken out of the stitching, the dried cloth iscovered with irregular rings and patterns. In some cases the panelscontain images that were put on using a regular printer. You just
put the cloth on backing paper and run it through the printer.Bushey said.
The collection going on display will be accompanied by a mis-sion statement which accurately describes the effect of the images.
The repetitive motions required of the techniques echo therepetitive motion of the Great Lakes waves hitting the shore. Theinnite variety of each unique wave and stitch is absorbed into theconstant and enduring whole, said Bushey.
Cotton and silk are used in combination as the material for thepanels. Ive done other (quilt) pieces before, but the process isvery time consuming, said Bushey. Taking full advantage of hersabbatical last semester, Bushey proceeded to immerse herself inthe medium.
The interest Bushey has in the quilt medium has direct paral-lels with her artistic outlook. My work is an exploration of whatis hidden and what is revealedwhether in a visual, emotional, orhistorical sense. Working with layers, both physically and visually,allows me to explore this complexity.
Senior Erin O Luanaigh is excited for the exhibit. Ill de-nitely be there. I saw some of her quilt work last fall and quiteenjoyed it. OLuanaigh said.
Over the years Busheys textile work has found its way intocollections at the White House and the University of Wyoming.Art/Quilt Magazine and Surface Design Journal have both pub-lished pieces by Bushey.
Professor Busheys Superior Dreams can be viewed thisSaturday at the gallery in the Sage Center.
Hayden Smith
Collegian Freelancer
Barbara Bushey will display this quilt she created lastyear. The quilt was inspired by her time at Lake Superiorand uses shibori techniques. (Courtesy of Doug Coon)
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Country music star Josh Turner brought his Haywire tour to the Hillsdale County Fair, charming the crowd with hisgenuine smiles and energetic show. (Shannon Odell/Collegian)
{LETTERS HOME
Leah
Bernhardson
SPACES B3 6 Oct. 2011www.hillsdalecollegian.com
Dear Family,
I want a pet tiger for Christmas.
Perhaps I should preface that with some information. Iwent to the Hillsdale County Fair this week. Im not sure ifthe claim Most Popular Fair in the World quite stands up,
but there were a good deal of attractions. My favorites were,of course, the two baby tigers. One was a lovely white tiger,
but I think I like the orange one better. He had a stuffed mon-key in his cage, which of course means that he could never
be malicious.
I know what youre thinking. Really, though, all the deepfried food has not gone to my head. Yes, some pet tigers havemauled their owners in the past. This is tragic. But pet tigersare so cute! And Im sure that if I got one when it was little, itwould bond with me enough that it would never feel the needto maul me. Besides, I think tigers are rather like people intemperament. Some people are just naturally aggressive andothers are sweet. Im pretty sure the tiger with his adorablestuffed monkey falls into the latter category. So.Christmas?Please? I bet that once you saw this tiger, you would takecare of it until I was home from school.
In other news, my arteries are still somewhat unclogged. Idid try a bite of deep-fried cookie dough, a funnel cake, andFrench fries. They were all rather delicious. Despite a fewdares, I refused to try the nastiest invention known to man:fried butter. As great as the fair was, though, the extremecold-wetness of my excursion has not yet worn off. Im off todrink seven cups of deliciously warming tea, bundle up, anddo my homework.
All my love,
Leah
Josh Turner: Family manand country singer
With his sultry voice and sensible lyrics,country music singer Josh Turner rolled
back into the Hillsdale County Fair this pastSaturday.His love for country music and how it
relates to common people compelled himto pursue a career in music, Turner com-mented. He was inspired by Randy Travis togo 100 percent in his career.
He made me realize that it did not mat-ter who you were or where you were from,
but that dreams can come true, said Turner.Songs such as Long Black Train, Why
Dont We Just Dance, and Firecrackerdisplay Turners conviction to write aboutfaith, family, and having a good time. Hislyrics reect his own personal experienceswith his wife and three boys.
He is known as Uncle Josh and mykids love his musicit runs on a loop inthe car, said Stephanie Ford, Josh Turnerssister-in-law.
Turner is a committed family man, andhas his family travel with him on the road.
They bring his wife Jennifer s mom withthem to help out with their three childrenHampton, Colby, and Crawford.
He really likes his down time. Heenjoys spending it with his family at theirhome, Ford said.
He enjoys watching basketball and
spending time in the outdoors with his boys.The entire family enjoys their time together.When the cousins are able to be together,the children enjoy pretending that they arein their own country band.
I like how his message is reected in hislife, sophomore Jacob Barrett said.
Barrett, who did not listen to muchcountry music prior to four years ago, saidthat Turner was one of the rst countrysingers he listened to. Turner represents thevalues that Barrett appreciates.
Barrett is not the only one who appreci-ates Turners values. Senior Clara Leu-theuser, sophomore Caitlin Kopmeyer, andsophomore Lindsay Kostrzewa enjoyed hisdeep voice and traditional values. They hada fantastic time at the concert with the entirevolleyball team.
Being there made me like him more.I like what he sings, about God and his
relationship with Him. He sends a goodmessage, Kopmeyer said.
Having Turner at the county fair is agreat encouragement to Leutheuser, who hasgrown up going to the fair. She said that itwas great to see one of her favorite countrysingers in her hometown and gives her hope
that the economy may be turning around.My only regret is that we did not make
a sign, because he would have made noticeof it, Leutheuser said.
Turner interacted with the concertgoers.There was a good-sized crowd for the venueand chilly weather. He even made remarksabout his last visit in Hillsdale when it wasraining. Altogether, he seemed easy goingand relatable, Kostrzewa said.
Turner, who has had many exciting mo-ments in his careersuch as being inductedinto the Grand Ole Opry, meeting formerUnited States president George W. Bush andrst lady Laura Bush at the White House,and doing Country Music Television CrossCountry with Randy Travisremains thefamily man that his loved ones and fanshave come to cherish.
Sarah Anne VoylesCollegian Reporter
=-
CAITLYNH
UBBARD C A M P U S C H I C
(Mel Caton/Collegian)
Outt details
Sweater: Tommy Hilger, Pants: Forever 21,Shoes: Macys, Earrings: H&M
View on fashion
Take an era and trends and mesh it withmodern.
Shoulder pads?
Oh, I love them!
When I was a freshman I wore sweatpants everywhere I went. My roommates
made me dress up one day a week. Myfashion is my homage to my roommates.
Senior economics and theater major
Style: Era-inspired modern comfort
I literally get an adrenaline rush when I
step out the door.
- Compiled by Rachel Hofer
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Excitement. Jubilation. Deliri-um. Dyspepsia. Just a few of the adjec-tives that capture the mood on campusthis week in response to news that Hu-mor has finally returned to HillsdaleColleges campus.
After a ten-year hiatus, the BackPage once again appears in its rightfulplace in The Collegian - the back page.Its unexpected return has many recall-ing happier, hilariouser times.
Back in the day, humor wassomething we didnt think about - itwas just there, like liberty, religion,or the Alpha Xis, said former ProvostBob Black Beard-Stock. But then itvanished and things around here werenever the same.
For those too young or senile torecall, the Back Page was a short-lived
GOAL program that funded a weeklyfunny section on the back page ofTheCollegian. Its heyday was the 2000-2001school year, when a team of dashing,handsome, young men made it theirmission to bring back humor to Hills-dale.
Like a supernova bombardingthe earth with radiation, each Thursdaymorning the BackPage sprinkled laugh-ter on campus. This happy fairytale,however, could not last. With famecame a steady stream of girlfriends, lowwage employment opportunities, and(surprising many on campus) the grad-
Making the funny aint like
raising the money its hardwork.- Capn Larry P. Arrrnn
Archive photo of the Back Page staff with Dr. Arrnnn.
Humorreturns tocampusblah blahblah
Michigans funkiest decennial adventure Vol. MMI, Issue 01 Like The BackPage 00-01 on Facebook to read old issues!
uations of the BackPage staff. Followinga raucous furniture-breaking dinner atBroadlawn, the last BackPage was pub-lished in May 2001.
The dark years that followedwere predicted by few but felt by many.T. S. Elliot had his Wasteland, Dantehad his Inferno and we had our humor-less Collegian said current Provost Dr.Whalen Wall.
Official college historian, ArlanBebel Gilberto, in a statement releasedto TheCollegian, notes the historical im-portance of the loss of the Back Page toHillsdale: In the annals of campus fun-niness tragedies, the disappearance of
the Back Page rivals only the retirementof Dr. Reist and the arrival of womenon campus. Entire classes graduatedwithout once chuckling while readingThe Collegian. Who could have foreseenthat humor would forsake this campusfor so long?
Not all approve of the Back Pagestriumphant return, however. Big JimHolleman, a frequent butt of the BackPages witticisms, stated The BackPagewas never funny and never will be. Ihave more funny in five minutes of myweekly choir practice than those rubes
had in an entire year of Back Pages,he said as he polished off a brace of
bearclaws.For those who remember the Back
Pages halcyon days fondly, however, thereturn of the funny brings hope, tem-pered by the recognition that restoringhumors rightful role on campus wont
be easy.I know humor, said Capn Larry
P. Arnn. Ive entered the New Yorkercaption contest at least twice and letme tell you, making the funny aint likeraising the money. Its hard work.
Page
NAWTY(Now, Another Wonderful Ten Years)
- The Back Page salutes the adminis-tration for adding the Night-Cap-stone core course for all seniors.Although Psych majors have beendrinking for years in the name ofresearch, this course finally allowsall students to imbibe for academicpurposes.
- The recent Relay for Life fundingcontroversy has Student Fed ex-ploring fairer ways to disperse stu-dent funds to campus organizations.
Comments are sought on the fol-lowing proposals: A winner-takes-all Funding Cagematch, changingall the funds to pennies and hidingthem in easter eggs across campus,and whoever can keep their hand onMargaret Thatcher the longest getsall the money.
- Director of the Kirby Center, Da-vid What about Bobb, spoke recentlyto students about the naming pro-cess for the center. The final slateapparently included Kirby Your En-thusiasm; Kirby-Fried Constitu-tion We do Liberty Right!; TheKirby Kenter on the Konstitution;and The Worst $16 Million I EverSpent.
Bottum Six Reasons to AttendHomecoming
1) Getting a head start on payingback your student loans by collect-ing beer cans Sunday morning.2) Handing out your resume.3) Teasing Dr. Arnn with potentialdonations.4) Having brunch at the KappaHouse.5) Visiting your old room in Koon,and getting fined since its a girlsdorm now.6) Going to the ODK tailgateparty.7) Because the campus actually hasInternet, finally.8) Making a rubbing of your brickon the Liberty Walk.9) Having awkward conversationswith forgotten Facebook friends.10) Its the people.
Weekly Quiz: Whats the differ-ence between the last 10 graduationspeakers and a mosquito?
Letters to the
Editor
Hey Alums! Back in town this weekend and already feeling like a wet-behind-the-ears
freshman? Use our handy guide to plan your homecoming weekend:
Friday, October 77:00 a.m.Breakfast at SagaYou never went as a student, nows your chance to see what all the fuss isabout (Pro Tip: Skip.)
3:15 p.m.Reagan Statue DedicationIt takes a great man to be a president; it takes 400 lbs. of bronze to make astatue (Pro Tip: if its cold, dont lick the Gipper for luck.)
6:00 p.m.Alumni Awards BanquetWatch people you dont know receive awards for things you knew nothingabout (Pro Tip: Two words: Open Bar!)
Saturday, October 86:00 a.m.Moeggenberg MadnessGet in your daily cardio as Moeggey himself leads you through Greco-RomanZumba (Pro Tip: Wear your singlet!)
9:00 a.m.Bookstore openA Homecoming tradition we just cant understand (Pro Tip: Return that oldWestern Heritage reader you have kicking around for quick pocket cash.)
9:00 a.m.Car ShowTake Dr. Black-Belts Gremlin (no, not Dr. Peters!) for a spin, or marvel atPennys vintage MGB Roadster (Pro Tip: Free game parking at Broadlawn!)
10:00 a.m.Alumni ShootExactly what it sounds like (Pro Tip: Dont stand in front of VP Dickie CPw.)
10:00 a.m.Art Exhibit featuring the work of Barbara BushSee class ic portraits of George W., Betsy Dole, and a rare crayon drawing by ayoung Danny Quayle (Pro Tip: Young in Quayles case means 38 years old.)
6:00 p.m.Professional Interest SessionsLate schedule additions include: fast food, bus driving and Hillsdale Collegeemployment (Pro Tip: Do your part by telling at least one English or Historymajor student to switch to a business degree)
8:00 p.m.Charger Tent PartyThe band is obscure but the beer is cheap (Pro Tip: an extra buck to Black-stock results in a heavy pour)
Sunday, October 92:00 p.m.Tower Players present Collating for Van GoghA Greco-Romantic comedy about a young, misunderstood office temp and thefiling error that cost Van Gogh his ear (Pro Tip: Bring your tissues!)
EVENTSHOMECOMING
Answer:Amosquitostopssuckingafteryouslapit.
The Think Tank
Geriatric Joel (01)
Last-gasp Luke (01)
Wrinkled Willy (01)
Dirty Old Ben (01)
Jitterbug Josh (01)
And featuring
JD as the
Gummy Beaver (02)
Special thanks to:Capn Arrnnn for provid-ing the newspaper space, the
inspiration, dinner at Broad-lawn, and most of the fodder.
Hillsdale College for chang-ing so little we can still makefun of it 10 years later.
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Where do your alumni donat
ions go?
Hillsdale College Board of Trustees
10 Year Presidential Report Card
Subject Grade Comment
Saga, Quality ofFood
D+ Notable Progress: Hot Brown no longer servedweekly; hotdogs refreshed every other day
Improvements Needed: Bring back the trays!
Saga, Quality of
SteveA+ Notable Progress: New sweater vests really
have him sparkling!
Improvements Needed: None
Football, Quality of
TeamA Notable Progress: Team actually wins now
Improvements Needed: Still far too much atten-
tion paid to those pesky academic standards
Incoming Class, At-
tractiveness ofInc. Notable Progress: No longer dumber than
dumb
Improvements Needed: Smarter hotter; sug-
gest requiring two pics for all applications or
admitting fewer homeschoolers
New Buildings,
ErectedB Notable Progress: Multiple erections
Improvements Needed: Campus housing short-
ages still exist; suggest making Olds roomstriples
Greek Life, Rela-
tionsC- Notable Progress: Delts are back, baby!
Improvements Needed: Whither Alpha Xi, and
Why Mu Alpha?
Humor on Campus F+ Notable Progress: This issue ofThe CollegianImprovements Needed: Hire Back Page staff
back as adjunct faculty of Humor
Alumni Relations,
GeneralD Notable Progress: Alumni giving rate now at
11 percent (includes non-monetary gifts of
two cows, case of peppermint schnapps, and
pocketful of lint)
Improvements Needed: Could easily be an A
with a few honorary degrees for the Were
Back Page Alums)
Signed, William Broadbeck Mountain
Dear Were Back Page,
Arent you just a cheap knockoff of themuch-storied Facebook phenomenonthe Hillsdale Radish, only less techno-logically adept and 1,000,000 timesless funny?
Snarkily,Gutless Anonymous Publisher of theHillsdale Radish
Dear Were Back Page,
Dont you ever get sick of all thesealums coming to campus once a year
blabbing on about how funny theywere and whining that George Rochealways threw better parties. I know Ido.
Avast,Dr. LeRoy P Arne
Dear Were Back Page,
Our sincerest apologies to all theSenior women on campus. We have noidea what it must feel like to be you.To almost be finished at Hillsdale, nothave a ring on your fingers and realizethat all of your upperclassmen malefriends have quietly disappeared out ofyour lives and into our lobby at Olds...ouch, thats gotta at least modestlysting.
Sincerely,Scantily-clad Freshmen Women
FOUN
D
intheG
arba
ge
Cans
behin
d
Cent
ralH
all!
by Meineke van Auto Parts
Back
WereTHE