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5 Lessons For The Job Search From The World Of
Online Dating
Diana Ecker 3.19.22
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Originally delivered at the Connect-Work-Thrive
Conference in Santa Clara, CA
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How can the same principles that make online dating
profiles more successful be applied to the job search?
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LESSON ONE
Describe a shared future
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Some online dating profiles just list a bunch
of interests:
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“I like to read.” “I like to hike.” “I like to cook.”
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“I like to read.” “I like to hike.” “I like to cook.”
K
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Why not help the reader envision a
shared future together instead?
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“We can go on weekend hikes and
bring our dogs!”
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“We can go on weekend hikes and
bring our dogs!” J
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“I love getting to cook for someone
special.”
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“I love getting to cook for someone
special.” J
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The Job Search Equivalent
(what someone might be saying in a cover letter):
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“I want to expand my skill set.”
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“I want to expand my skill set.”
K
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“I believe that I’m an excellent candidate.”
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“I believe that I’m an excellent candidate.”
K
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Again, no shared future. Just “I want” and
“I believe.”
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Here’s how you might offer a vision of a
shared future instead:
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“I’d like to contribute my skills to help
advance your mission.”
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“I’d like to contribute my skills to help
advance your mission.”
J
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“With my experience, you could expand your
programs.”
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“With my experience, you could expand your
programs.” J
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LESSON TWO
Choose a great photo
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We see photos first +
We experience confirmation bias
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In online dating, many people will look at
photos first and make a decision just from that.
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LinkedIn is such a powerful tool for the
job search…
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…and we forget that people are drawing
conclusions about us from our photos
there too.
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J
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• Lighting • Background • Signifiers of status • Expression
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What does your photo tell people
about who you are?
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LESSON THREE
Put yourself in their shoes
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When people write their online dating profiles, sometimes
they lose sight of how their reader will feel:
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“I put a lot of effort into annoying my friends.”
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“I put a lot of effort into annoying my friends.”
L
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“You are never bored when you’re with me, unless you’re boring.”
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“You are never bored when you’re with me, unless you’re boring.”
L
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“I think I like cats better than people.”
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“I think I like cats better than people.”
L
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Cats are great!
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Cats are great! But they’re not using online dating sites.
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When you don’t put yourself in the reader’s shoes, you write things
that may prevent a connection.
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The Job Search Equivalent:
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“I am who I am. Why should I tailor
my resume?”
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“I am who I am. Why should I tailor
my resume?” L
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But when you put yourself in the
employer’s shoes, of course you’d tailor your
resume to a position:
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“They especially need those skills? Okay, I’ll
emphasize them.”
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“They especially need those skills? Okay, I’ll
emphasize them.” J
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• Re-order bullet points • Add highlights section • Edit skill list • Change category
names
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LESSON FOUR
Use proven strategies
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The way readers react to language is often
predictable.
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OkTrends, “Exactly What to Write in a First Message”
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Use what works!
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Yale Undergraduate Career Services, “Resume Action Verbs”
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• Resume verbs • Results • Numbers • Language from the
job description
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LESSON FIVE
Be bold
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With online dating, sometimes people get
intimidated…
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“Forget it. That person is out of my league.”
L
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The Job Search Equivalent:
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“Forget it. That job is out of my league.”
L
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Not so fast!
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“Fortune befriends the bold.”
— Emily Dickinson
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IN SUMMARY:
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IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future
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IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future Choose a great photo
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IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future Choose a great photo
Put yourself in their shoes
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IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future Choose a great photo
Put yourself in their shoes Use proven strategies
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IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future Choose a great photo
Put yourself in their shoes Use proven strategies
Be bold
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J J
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Photo by Yogendra Joshi: “Expressions @
Times Square, NY”
Creative Commons Attribution License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en
* Yogendra174 on Flickr *
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J J