Download - A Little Conflict is a Good Thing
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“We Speak Your Language” Retained Executive Search Recruitment Outsourcing Leadership Consulting
Conflict Resolution: A little conflict is a good thing!
ACEC-ASCE-TSPE Annual Meeting September 14, 2012
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“We Speak Your Language”
Who is Dan Ryan? • Recovering engineer/scientist • Father and husband • Teacher and facilitator • Engaged sports fan
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“We Speak Your Language”
Conflict is . . .
any situation in which your
concerns or desires differ from those of
another person
RM-3
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“We Speak Your Language”
Objectives
• Become more aware of your own conflict style
• Recognize the conflict styles of others
• Assess conflict situations • Practice using different conflict
modes • Learn how to manage constructive conflict
RM-4
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“We Speak Your Language”
Understanding the Conflict Modes
Two basic aspects of all Conflict-handling modes…
RM-5
Your Conflict = Skill + Situation Mode
Cooperativeness
Asse
rtive
ness
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“We Speak Your Language” “We Speak Your Language” RM-6
From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Mountain View, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission.
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“We Speak Your Language” “We Speak Your Language” RM-7
From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Mountain View, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission.
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“We Speak Your Language”
The Five Conflict Handling Modes
RM-8
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“We Speak Your Language”
Competing
• Taking quick action • Making unpopular decisions • Standing up for vital issues • Protecting yourself
RM-9
“My way or the highway”
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“We Speak Your Language”
Competing Skills
• Arguing or debating
• Using rank, position, or influence
• Asserting your opinions and feelings
• Standing your ground
• Stating your position clearly
RM-10
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“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Competing
• Lack of feedback
• Reduced learning
• Low empowerment
• Surrounded by “yes people”
RM-11
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“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Competing
• Restricted influence
• Indecision
• Delayed action
• Withholding of contributions
RM-12
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“We Speak Your Language”
Excessive Competing
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“We Speak Your Language”
Accommodating
• Showing reasonableness • Developing performance • Creating goodwill • Keeping “peace” • Retreating • Maintaining perspective
RM-14
“It would be my pleasure”
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“We Speak Your Language”
Accommodating Skills
• Forgoing your desires
• Selflessness
• Obedience
• Ability to yield
RM-15
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“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Accommodating
• Overlooked ideas
• Restricted influence
• Loss of contribution
• Anarchy
RM-16
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“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Accommodating
• Lack of rapport
• Low morale
• By-the-book reputation
• Inability to yield
RM-17
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“We Speak Your Language”
Avoiding
• Leaving unimportant issues alone
• Reducing tensions • Buying time • Knowing your limitations • Allowing others ownership • Recognizing issues as
symptoms
RM-18
“I’ll think about it tomorrow”
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“We Speak Your Language”
Avoiding Skills
• Withdrawing
• Sidestepping
• Sense of timing
• Ability to leave things unresolved
RM-19
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“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Avoiding
• Lack of input from you
• Decisions made by default
• Festering issues
• Climate of caution
RM-20
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“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Avoiding
• Hostility/hurt feelings
• Work overload—too many causes
• Lack of prioritization/delegation
RM-21
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“We Speak Your Language”
Avoiding
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“We Speak Your Language”
Collaborating
• Integrating solutions • Learning • Merging perspectives • Gaining commitment • Improving relationships
RM-23
“Two heads are better than one”
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“We Speak Your Language”
Collaborating Skills
• Ability to listen, understand, and empathize
• Nonthreatening confrontation
• Input analysis
• Identifying underlying concerns
RM-24
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“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Collaborating
• Too much time on trivial matters
• Diffused responsibility
• People who take advantage
• Work overload
RM-25
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“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Collaborating
• Mutual gains deprivation
• Lack of commitment
• Low empowerment
• Loss of innovation
RM-26
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“We Speak Your Language”
Compromising
• Resolving issues of moderate importance
• Reaching resolution with equal power and strong commitment
• Creating temporary solutions • Dealing with time constraints • Backing up competing/
collaborating
RM-27
“Let’s make a deal”
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“We Speak Your Language”
Compromising Skills
• Negotiating
• Finding a “middle ground”
• Making concessions
• Assessing value
RM-28
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“We Speak Your Language”
Overuse of Compromising
• Loss of big-picture perspective
• Lack of trust
• Cynical climate
RM-29
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“We Speak Your Language”
Underuse of Compromising
• Unnecessary confrontations
• Frequent power struggles
• Inability to negotiate effectively
RM-30
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“We Speak Your Language”
Compromising in life
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“We Speak Your Language”
In Summary
• There are five modes of handling conflict – Competing – Collaborating – Compromising – Avoiding – Accommodating
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“We Speak Your Language”
Causes of Team Conflict
• Values of team members • Attitudes of team members • Goals/Expectations - the processes and expected
outcomes • Roles and responsibilities of team members • Limited resources • Personalities • Interdependency • Increased interaction (frequency)
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Source: Cappozzoli & Alessandra
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“We Speak Your Language”
Remedies for team conflict
• Self-awareness • Open communication • Mediation • Reorganization • Realignment-Reassignment • Disbanding
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“We Speak Your Language”
Case Study Your project team consists of the following individuals: • John (avoider) Team Leader-PM • Jane (compromiser) Asst. PM • Jim (competing) 5 year PE • Joan (competing) 25 year PG • Bubba (competing) 15 year Scientist You (John) are working on a project with a tight deadline and you consistently have challenges with Jim, Joan and Bubba
disagreeing on the best course of action. What might you do?
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“We Speak Your Language”
Questions?
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“We Speak Your Language”
Thank You!
Dan Ryan Principal
615 202 0883 cell 615 656 3535 office
[email protected] http://ryansc.net