Allan Stockellburg• Caring, Responsible, Mindful Father of Two
• B.S. in Computer Science from the University of Arizona
• Pima County Regional Manager for TOPS
• Fatherhood Facilitator and Parent Educator
• Boot Camp for New Dads Master Coach
• NFI Effective Facilitator Certified
• NFI Father Engagement Certified
• Chair of the Southern AZ Fatherhood Collaborative
Who is This Guy???
• Who is Eligible?• Current or Expecting Father
• 21 Years Old or Younger• May be any age if mother of baby is enrolled
• How Can I Refer?• Referral form in person or fax
• Call 877.882.2881
• Online at www.teenoutreachaz.org/refer-a-teen
• Just walk in the door!
TOPS DAD
TOPS DAD
For fathers of any age with any aged children
Holistic approach to fatherhoodMan Partner Parent
Topics Include:Discipline – Masculinity – Communication
Handling Emotions – Growth and Development
For fathers of any age expecting his first child
Designed to make dad feel confident and competent to get involved in his child’s life right from the start
Topics Include:Calming Baby – Feeding/Changing Infant
Supporting Partner – Dad Gear – Life Changes
Both programs hosted by the Pima County Public LibraryPrograms are FREE to all men
Register on PCPL website or with Allan
• Activity – “Fathers are…”
• On the slips of paper provided please write down the first words
that come to your mind to finish the phrase
• Then make it into a snowball
• Toss your snowball to a different part of the room
• Pick up a snowball different from yours and take turns calling out
findings
• Father Definition – to bring into the world, breed, sire, spawn
What is a Father?
• Children’s Needs
• Love
• Time
• Education
• Safety
• Material Needs
• How many of these does a Father provide?
• How many does a Dad provide?
• Any man can become a father, it takes someone special to be the DAD!
What is a Father?
Parenting Styles
• Tends to promote exploratory freedom
• Holds baby the same way 9 out of 10 times
• Tends to promote personal safety
• Encourages emotional regulation
• Tends to see how their child will affect the world
• Makes use of body during play
• Follows established parenting style
• Spends more time in play
• Promotes emotional expression
• Tends to see how the world will affect their child
• Prepares child for outside world
• Encourages physical risk taking
Parenting Styles
Paternal
• Holds the baby a different way 9 times out of 10
• Tends to promote problem solving
• Encourages physical risk taking
• Less predictable in parenting style
• Encourages emotional regulation
• Spends more time in play
• Makes use of body during play
• Prepares child for outside world
• Tends to see how their child will affect the world
Maternal
• Holds baby the same way 9 out of 10 times
• More likely to rescue child
• Tends to promote personal safety
• Follows established parenting style
• Promotes emotional expression
• Spends more time in physical care
• Uses objects during play
• Protects child from outside world
• Tends to see how the world will affect their child
Protective Factors
Character Traits
• Resilience
• Tolerance
• Creativity
• Social Intelligence
• Emotional Awareness
• Physical Activity
• Curiosity
Paternal Styles
• Holds the baby a different way 9 times out of 10
• Tends to promote problem solving
• Less predictable in parenting style
• Encourages emotional regulation
• Spends more time in play
• Makes use of body during play
• Prepares child for outside world
• Encourages physical risk taking
• Tends to see how their child will affect the world
Protective Factors
Economic Stability
Decreased Child Abuse
More Supportive Adults
Better Teen Decision Making
Less Risky Behaviors from Parents
Male v Female Brain
Male v Female Brain
Male v Female Brain
Male Brain
• Excels at visuospatial tasks
• Likes physical activities
• Feeds on competition
• Less verbal centers
• Decreased emotional connection
• Less white matter
• Slower at task switching
• More gray matter
• Focus deeply on one task
Cognitive Biases
Confirmation Bias• 2, 4, 6, 8, …
Availability Bias• Stomach cancer or homicide• Shark attack or struck by
falling airplane part
Mars. This is Venus. Come in Mars
How can we hack the male brainfor better communication?
How can we support the male brainfor optimal learning?
Male Brain
Communication
• Schedule conversations
• Prompt discussion
• Incorporate action
• Side to side
• Stay on topic
Learning
• Visuospatial activities
• Fidget materials
• Man Cave
• Practice time
• Delivered by men
I Need Motivation
How do we motivate men to be the dad?
• Show them the stats
• Turn involvement into a habit
• Surround men with other dads
• Peer to peer goal setting
• Create competition
• Autonomy, Mastery, Purpose
• Arizona• TOPS
• Father Matters
• Native American Fatherhood and Families Association
• Boys to Men
• National• National Fatherhood Initiative
• National Center for Fathering
• National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse
• Dads 4 Special Kids
• Project Fatherhood
• The Good Men Project
• Mankind Project
Resources
Closing
Questions???
Comments…
Concerns!!!
Keep Calm and Call TOPS DAD
Allan Stockellburg
520.284.9817
TOPS
520.888.2881
Facebook.com/topsaz
TOPS DAD
Facebook.com/TOPSDADProgram
Southern ArizonaFatherhood Collaborative
Facebook.com/SoAzFatherhoodCollaborative