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Chapter 7
Developing and Maintaining
Relationships
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Explain key aspects of interpersonal relationships
Understand how and why we form relationships
Understand that every relationship has advantages and disadvantages
Chapter Objectives
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Consider how people in relationships choose to divulge or withhold personal information
Outline the predictable stages of most relationships
Chapter Objectives
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The interconnections and interdependence between two individuals
Interpersonal Relationships
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The exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages between two people who have a relationship and are influenced by their partner’s messages
Interpersonal Relationships
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A web of relationships that connect individuals to one another
Relational Network
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FamilySmall social group bound by ties of blood, civil contract, and a commitment to care for one another
Types of Interpersonal Relationships
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FriendshipClose and caring
relationship between two people
Perceived as mutually satisfying and beneficial
Types of Interpersonal Relationships
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Romantic RelationshipsLove
“deep affection for and attachment to another person”
Intimacy“Closeness and
understanding of of a relational partner”
Types of Interpersonal Relationships
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Love Styles
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Online RelationshipsVirtual relationshipsHyperpersonal communication
Types of Interpersonal Relationships
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CompanionshipStimulationAchieving goalsProximityPhysical attractionSimilarity
Why We Form Relationships
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Costs and rewardsSocial exchange of costs and benefitsRewards
Extrinsic (e.g. social status)Instrumental (e.g. saving on rent)Intrinsic (e.g. feeling of safety)
Costs
Managing Relationship Dynamics
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Reducing UncertaintyUncertainty reduction theory
Passive strategiesActive StrategiesInteractive Strategies
Managing Relationship Dynamics
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Dialectical Tensions
Autonomy vs. ConnectionOpenness vs. ClosednessPredictability vs. Novelty
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Social Penetration Theory (SPT)
How relationships move from superficial levels to levels of intimacy
Self-Disclosure and Relationships
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Communication Privacy Management Theory (CPM)We own private information
We control that information
*Information has the potential to make someone vulnerable.
*We have the right to control our private information.
Self-Disclosure and Relationships
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Strategic Topic AvoidanceManeuvering the conversation
away from undesirable topics
Keep silent
Give unrelated response
Lie
End conversation
Self-Disclosure and Relationships
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Stages of a Relationship
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Initiating StageMake contact with another
Many relationships don’t move beyond this stage
Stages of a Relationship
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Exploratory StageSmall talk
Uncertainty reduction
Stages of a Relationship
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Intensification StagePersonal self-disclosure
Share affection verbally
Pet names
Stages of a Relationship
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Stable StageIntegrating or becoming
one
Bonding by sharing public messages about relationship
Stages of a Relationship
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Declining StageUncertainty Events
Interference (with growth)
Unmet expectations
• “Perfect couples never argue.”
Relationship RepairRepair tactics
Stages of a Relationship
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Termination StagePassing away
Relationship gradually fades
Sudden death
Unexpected termination for one partner
Stages of a Relationship
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ReconciliationSpontaneous developmentThird-party mediationHigh affectTacit persistenceMutual interactionAvoidance
Stages of a Relationship