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DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES: 13-18 YEARS OLD
Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors
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OBJECTIVES
Participants will learn:
• How developmental issues can affect behaviors
• Tips for parenting
• Methods for disciplining teens
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AGENDA
• Introduction
• Characteristics of Teens
• Adolescent Development
• Parenting Tips
• Discipline Guidelines
• Summary
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INTRODUCTION
• The teen years are a challenging time for both parents
and teens
• Suddenly the child who used to talk to you and come to
you for advice may have withdrawn
• Your child who was compliant may now be more
oppositional
• Understanding the development of your teen can help
you understand their behavior and how to parent them
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CHARACTERISTICS OF TEENS
• Wants to spend less time with you
and more time with peers
• Is usually self conscious and
concerned with appearance
• Wants to fit in with peers
• May become more oppositional
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Adolescent
Development
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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT
Ages 13-14
• Gain in height and weight
• Girls: breast and hip
development
• Boys: deepening of voice
Ages 15-18
• Puberty is completed
• Girls: physical growth slows down
• Boys: physical growth continues
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COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT
Ages 13-14
• Increased capacity for abstract thought
• Intellectual interests expand and become more important
• Deeper moral thinking
Ages 15-18
• Further capacity for abstract thought
• Thinking about the meaning of life
• Increased ability for setting goals
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SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Ages 13-14
• Worries about fitting in with peer
group
• Concerned about their
appearance
• Increased influence of peer group
• Wants more privacy
• Moodiness
• Wants independence
• May regress to childish behavior
when stressed
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SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Ages 15-18
• Still adjusting to changing body
• Continues to distance self from parents - gravitating more
towards peer group
• May complain that parents interfere with independence
• Becoming more self-involved
• Continued adjustment to changing body
• Increased interest in opposite sex – desires feelings of love
and passion
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CONTINUED
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Tips for Parenting Teens
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PARENTING TIPS
• Be a role model
• Set rules and consequences
and be consistent
• Choose your battles
• Give them their privacy
• Get to know their friends
• Have them check in with you and
let you know where they are
• Keep communication channels open
• Discuss rather than lecture
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PARENTING TIPS
• Discuss consequences of risky behaviors
• Help them figure out how to handle a potentially
dangerous situation and have a game plan
• Show interest in their activities
• Let them know you love and care about them
• Catch them being good – don’t just focus on the negative
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CONTINUED
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PARENTING TIPS
• Have weekly family meetings
• Be aware of changes in their behavior – it could be a
sign they are in trouble
• Give them unconditional acceptance
• Don’t set them up to fail – set reasonable goals
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CONTINUED
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Discipline Guidelines
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ESTABLISHING RULES & LIMITS
Rules and limits provide your teen with a sense of
stability:
• Establish age appropriate rules and limits
• Have your teen participate in setting rules and consequences
• Be consistent
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SETTING CONSEQUENCES
• Set consequences that can be completed quickly, then
give the teen a chance to try again
• Establish trust
• Use natural and logical consequences
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NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
• A natural result
of the behavior
• Not imposed by
the parent
• Allows the teen to
own the problem and
face the consequences
• Teaches self-discipline
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LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES
• Imposed on the teen by the parent as a result of the
teen’s behavior
• Should be logically related to the behavior
• Makes the teen accountable for their choices and
behaviors
• Allows their problems to belong to them – not to you
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SUMMARY
• The teen years can be challenging for both teens
and parents
• It’s important to understand adolescent development
in order to understand your teen’s behaviors and
needs
• Providing a good role model for teens is essential
• Discipline should include both natural and logical
consequences
• It’s important to catch your teen being good and not
just focus on the negative
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QUESTIONS?
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RESOURCES
• Military Family Support Services
• Chaplain and Local Clergy
• Military OneSource (800) 342-9647
• TRICARE www.Tricare.mil
• Behavioral Health Services
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REFERENCES
• 10 Parenting Tips You Should Know, by Jeanie Lerche Davis
• Adolescent Development, http://www.state.sc.us/dmh/adolescent_facts.htm
• Stages of Adolescent Development, http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/articledetail.cfm?id=1140
• Ten Mistakes Parents Make with Teens, http://www.byparents-forparents.com/article7.html
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THANK YOU