Download - DRIVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS
DRIVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS Gaining Clarity Improving Communication Taking Action
Presented by: Dennis Hungridge, M.A., SPHR TPO Consultant / Training & Development Specialist [email protected]
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Outcomes
– Better understand your difficult
conversations
– Say what needs saying in ways that improve communication
– Identify actions you can take to
resolve the circumstance, improve conversation and the relationship.
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Ideas and Actions to:
Expectations
• What do you need to get from today’s presentation to feel you’ve spent the time well?
• How will you know
you have succeeded?
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Difficult Conversations
• Crucial (Difficult) Conversation
– “A discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong” and the outcome greatly impacts their lives.
• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High, Patterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler 2002 Crucial Confrontation
• Dialogue
– “The free flow of meaning between two or more people” • Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High, Patterson,
Grenny, McMillan & Switzler 2002 Crucial Confrontation
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
The Three Conversations
• What Happened Conversation – Sort out the facts; circumstances; who did/meant what – Expected outcomes
• Feelings Conversation – Are my feelings valid? Appropriate? – Acknowledge other feelings
• Identity Conversation – What does the situation say about me? – What is my part in this situation?
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Difficult Conversations – An Approach • Step 1 – Prepare
– Get the facts – Understand the emotions – Ground your identity
• Step 2 – Check Your Purposes & Decide – What do you hope to
accomplish? – Decide if this is the time,
approach, real problem. ©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Difficult Conversations – An Approach • Step 3 – The Third Story
– Difference of stories – Invite the other person to explore
& sort the issue
• Step 4 – Explore Both Sides – Listen for understanding – Share your viewpoint – Reframe
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Difficult Conversations – An Approach
• Step 5 – Problem Solving – Invent options for the most
important concerns – Mutual care-taking – Keep communication open
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Characteristics of Effective Conversations • Descriptive Rather than Judgmental
– Describe the circumstance – “Just the Facts” – Avoid “right/wrong”; “competent/incompetent”
• Specific Rather than General – If you want to be terrific, be specific – Help the other person identify “how/where’” to improve
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Characteristics of Effective Conversations • Provide Timely and Private
Feedback – Today, not tomorrow – Would you like to get corrective
feedback in public?
• No Surprises – Stay in touch with folks during
the year – Planned and unplanned
feedback ©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Q & A
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
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DRIVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS
©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com
Presented by: Dennis Hungridge, M.A., SPHR TPO Consultant / Training & Development Specialist [email protected]