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Emotional Healing TheMissingLinkinHolis4cHealthCare
WithStevenHorne,authorofTheHeart’sKeytoHealth,HappinessandSuccess
A Pizza Story
HowIgotinterestedinemo4onalhealing
My Introduction to Emotional Healing
“Evilworksindarkness,andthatwhichisindarknessinus,worksforevil;butnothingthatisbroughtintothelightcanbeevil,forallthingsaremadepureinthelight;therefore,whateverisbroughtintothelightisgoodandworksinusforgood.”
Dominant Views of Emotions
Physical Emo4onsaretheresultof
chemicalmessengerslikehormonesandneurotransmiOers
ImbalancesareoPengene4c
Drugs(orherbsandnutri4onalsupplements)whichalterthesechemicalswill“fix”emo4ons
Mental Emo4onsareacrea4onof
themind
Posi4vethinkingleadstoposi4vefeelings
Ifyouarefeeling“bad”youneedtochangeyourthoughts
Decartes’ Error
Cogitoergosum(Ithink,thereforeIam)
ThinkinghasbecomesupremeinWesternculture
Ithasbecomesosupremethatmanypeoplethinkthatthinkingiseverything,i.e.,wecreateourlifesolelyfromourthoughts
Thetruthisthatfeelingisjustasimportantasthinking
Your Real Motivations
Thinkaboutthethingsyouwantinlife: Prosperity
Goodrela4onships
Health
Success
Whydoyouwantthesethings?
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Your Inner Motivation
Youwanttofeelgood!
Thatis,youwantto: Behappy Loveandbeloved Experiencejoyandsa4sfac4on Havepeace
Thismeansthatyourheart,notyourheadistherealmo4vatorinyourlife
Andthisistrueforeveryone,nomaOerhow“logical”theymaybe!
As a Man Thinketh…
ThispassagefromtheOldTestamentisoPencitedtojus4fytheideathatwecreateourlifewithourthoughts(i.e.,ourhead)
Itreallysays,“Ashe[aman]thinkethinhisheart,soishe.”
Howdoestheheart“think”?
The Heart “Brain”
Hearttransplantrecipientshaveacquiredmemories,likesanddislikesandfeelingsforpeoplefromthedonorsoftheirnewhearts
Thisprovesthatotherpartsofthebodyhavememoryandnotjustthebrain
Italsoprovesthattheheart“thinks,”buttheheartthinksinfeelingsandimages,notwords
Our Three “Minds”
Thegutsarethe“brain”ofthephysicalworldandcontaineveryneurotransmiOerfoundinthemind
Theheartisthe“brain”ofouremo4onalworld–itis60%nervecellsandhousesmemoriesjustlikethebrain
So,it’snotjustourbrainthat“thinks”
Positive Thinking Model
Thismodelsuggeststhateverythinginourlifearisesfromtheworldofthought.Thoughtscreatefeelingsandfeelingsmo4vateac4ons.
A Different View
Theemo4onalworldisaco‐equalpartnerwiththementalandemo4onalaspectsofournature
Thoughtsaffectfeelings,butfeelingsaffectthoughts
Thebodyaffectsfeelings,too,butfeelingsalsoaffectthebody
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The Three “Worlds” of Our Existence
Wearebeingswithathree‐foldnatureasrepresentedbythethree“chambers”of
ourbody.
Thesethreeworldshavebeencalledmanybymanynames:body,mindandspirit
doing,thinkingandbeingphysical,mentalandspiritual
child,parentandadultid,super‐egoandegobody,headandheart
Feelings are the Mind‐Body Connection
Wedonotactonthinkingalone,somethinghastomoveusemo4onallybeforewetakeac4on
Likewise,thebodycommunicatesitswell‐being(orlackthereof)tousthroughfeelings,notwords
A New Look at the Heart
Theheartdoesn’tmechanically“pump”theblood
Itgeneratesanelectromagne4cpulsethathelpscarrythebloodthroughoutthebody
Thiselectromagne4cpulsebroadcastsawaveofenergyintotheenvironment
The Empathetic Heart
Heartcells“entrain”oneachother(whichmeanstheytrytosynchronizetheirbea4ngwiththeelectromagne4cpulsesofotherheartcells
Thishappensbetweenpeople
Wecallitempathyorcompassionwhentwopeople’sheartsmakeaconnec4on
Heart to Heart Communication
Wehaveothertermstodescribeheart‐to‐heartcommunica4on: Beingintunewitheachother
Beingonthesamewavelength
Beinginthesamegroove
Havingagoodvibewithsomeone
Being“inlove”
Pain and Pleasure Are Teachers
Whilewelikepleasureanddislikepain,bothareimportantforourhealthandwell‐being
Weneedpaintowarnuswhensomethingisinjuringthebody
So,althoughitisunpleasantpainisnot“bad”or“evil”
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There Are No Negative Emotions
Likepain,theso‐called“nega4ve”emo4onsaremessagesthatsomethingis“wrong”
Don’tconfusethemessageandthemessenger
Thefactthatyouarefeelingapainfulemo4ondoesn’tmeansomethingiswrongwithYOU
Listening to Our Heart
Whenwechosetoacknowledgeandacceptafeeling,weare“listening”toourheart
Whenwetrytodenyafeelingormakeitgoaway,wearenotlisteningtothewisdomofourheart
Weneedtogivetheheart(andourbody)equalstatuswiththemind
What We’ve Heard Since Childhood
Don’tbeacry‐baby(i.e.,don’tbesad)
Don’tbechicken(i.e.,don’tbeafraid)
Don’tyoutakethattonewithme(i.e.,don’tbeangryorfrustrated)
Wipethatstupidgrinoffyourface(i.e.,don’tevenbehappy)
Inshort,we’vebeentoldourfeelingsdon’tmaOer,aren’timportantandshouldbesuppressed
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
The4tleofthisbookbyCarolTrumansaysitclearly–feelingsthatareburiedandnotacknowledgeddonotgoaway
Instead,theygetboOledupinsidecrea4ng“stuckenergy”inthebody
ThingsinlifewilloPen“trigger”thisstuckenergyandcauseustobehaveinwaysthatmaymakeusfeelashamedorguiltyandtryevenhardertoburyourfeelings
How to Suppress Emotions
Allemo4onsexpressthemselvesinMOTION,thatisinmovementandvocaliza4onofthebody
Toburyanemo4on,youhavetotenseyourmusclesandholdyourbreath
Children’sbodiestendtoberelaxedandtheybreatheproperlyfromtheirdiaphragm
Mostadultsareshallowbreathersandholdalotoftensionintheirbodies
Your “Damned” Emotions
Whenyoudamn(condemn)anemo4onyoufeel,youdamitupinside
Thiscreatesareservoirofthatemo4onthatisbuiltupinside,longingforrelease
Thelargerthereservoir,themoreafraidweareofexperiencingthatemo4on
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Venting Emotions
Thereisasecond“nega4ve”waywecandealwithourfeelings—ven4ng
Expressinganemo4onisnot“ven4ng”
Ven4ngisplacingtheresponsibilityforhowwefeelonotherpeople
Thismeanswehaveplacedtheabilityforustofindhappinessoutsideofourselves
The Illusion
Whenweventouremo4onswearetryingtochangetheoutsideworldinordertotrytochangehowwefeel
Webelievethatifotherpeopleandsitua4onsdonotchange,wecannotbehappy
Thisisanillusionthatallowsustoavoidhavingtoconfrontourownfeelings
The Truth
Thetruthis,thathowwefeelismo4va4ngourchoicesinrela4onshipsandeveryotheraspectofourlives
Therefore,inordertochangethecircumstancesofourlifewehavetochangehowwefeel
Un4lwedo,wecon4nuetobeaOractedtothesamenega4vepaOernsinourchoices
Primary Emotional “Colors”
Red=Angeroraggression
Blue=Grieforsadness
Yellow=Fearoranxiety
White=Emo4onalbalance,whichisequalaccesstoallemo4ons
The Three Choices
Therearethreethingswecandowithanyemo4on
Wecan“suppress”it,whichmeansweavoidexpressingitandperhapsevendenythatwefeelit
Wecan“vent”it,whichmeansmaketheoutsideworldresponsibleforwhatwefeel
Wecanlistentoitandlearnhowtochangeourchoicessoweareguidedbacktohappiness
Three “Shadow” Emotions
Suppressingoneofouremo4onscausesourpersonalitytobe“colored”ablendoftheothertwoemo4ons
Green=Depression,discouragementandjealousy
Orange=Hardnessandinsensi4vity
Purple=Compulsion,addic4onandrecklessness
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Destructive Anger
Ven4ngAnger Tryingtocontrolother
peoplethroughviolence,threatofviolence,beliOlingcomments,threats,in4mida4onormanipula4oninthebeliefthatifotherschangeyouwillbehappy
Thisisafailuretoloveothers
SuppressingAnger Allowingotherpeopleto
controlyoufortheirbenefit,inthebeliefthatifyougivethemwhattheywanttheywillloveyouandwanttodothingstomakeyouhappy
Thisisfailuretoloveyourself
Constructive Anger
Isyourrightandpowertoprotectyourselffromphysicalharmandemo4onalabuse
Isyourrightandpowertosay“No”tothingsthatdonotcontributetoyourphysical,mentaloremo4onalwell‐being
Isthepowertocontrolyourownlife(will‐power)
Destructive Grief
Ven4ngGrief Ven4nggriefisengagingina
“pityparty”tryingtomakeotherpeoplefeelsorryforyousotheywillofferyousupportandsympathythinkingthiswill“fillup”theemp4nessinside
Ven4nggriefismakingyourselfavic4moflife
SuppressingGrief Suppressinggriefisdeciding
thatyoucannotriskopeningyourhearttoothersforfearofsufferingheartacheorloss,whichmakesyoucold,unsympathe4canduncaring
Suppressinggriefpreventsyoufromexperiencingpleasureandcrea4ngcloserela4onships
Constructive Grief
Isacknowledgingyourlossesandallowingyourselftofeelthepainofthem
Itallowsyouto“letgo”ofthingsyoulose,andopenuptoallownewthingstotaketheirplace
Italsoallowsyoutobecompassionate,caringandempathe4cwithothers
Destructive Fear
Ven4ngfearmeansbeingafraidtomakeyourownchoicesinlifebecauseyoumightmakeamistake,soyousurrendercontrolofyourlifetovarious“experts”andauthorityfigures
Ven4ngfearmakesyoua“sheep”–ablindfollower
SuppressingFear Suppressingfearmeans
avoidingconfron4ngdifficultchoices,whichmakesyoubecomereckless,impulsiveandpronetoaddic4onsandcompulsions
Suppressingfearcausesyoutoengageinself‐defea4ngandpoten4allyself‐destruc4vebehaviors
Constructive Fear
Meansyouacknowledgeyourfears,consideryourchoicesinyourlifeandmakethebestchoicepossible
Itgivesyouthecouragetoactinthefaceofdifficultyanddanger
Itcreatesself‐confidenceandself‐esteem.
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Practical Application
Weneedtofindourwaybacktoourheartandallowourhearttobecomeanequalpartnerwithourmindandbody
Weneedtostarthonoringfeelings(inourselvesandothers)andnotmakepeoplefeelbadforhowtheyfeel
Awareness is the Key
“Howlongwillittakemetosolvemyproblem?”thediscipleasked
“Notonesecondlongerthanittakesyoutounderstandit,”themasterreplied
What is Awareness?
Awarenessistheabilitywehavetoobservewithoutanalysis,judgmentorexplana4on
Withawareness,itispossibletodetachfromyourownthoughts,feelingsandchoicesandobservethemobjec4vely
Awarenessbringsunderstanding
Stopping the Monkey Chatter
Toreachastateofawarenessyouhavetolearnhowtostoptheflowofwordsinyourbrain
Wordsarelabelsandlabelsarejudgments
Youhavetobeabletoobserveandexperiencethingswithoutprejudice(pre‐judgment)
4 Steps to Finding Sacred Silence
1. Getthebodyrelaxedandcomfortable
2. Breathedeeply
3. Createasinglepointoffocusforthemind
4. Taketheposi4onofapassiveobserver
Feeling your Feelings
Canonlybedoneinthepresentmoment
Willhelpyoulearntoengageawarenessveryrapidly
Willhelpyouunderstandyourselfandfindgreaterhappinessinyourlife
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How Do You Feel?
Isthemostimportantques4oninemo4onalhealingwork
Emo4onalhealingisabouthelpingpeopleacknowledgeandaccepttheirfeelings
Youcannotdothiswithanyemo4onyouhavenotfacedinsideyourself
Our “Story”
Ourmindlikestocreatea“story”aboutourselvesthatwecantelltoothers
Thestoryhelpsdefineoursenseofselfandexplainourlifeexperiences
Thestorycanalsobecomeawaytododgefeelingouremo4ons
Listen “Past” the Story
Whentryingtohelppeopleheal,listen“past”thestoryandtrytounderstandhowwhateverhappenedmadethemfeel
Ask,“Andhowdidthatmakeyoufeel?”
Feedbackthefeelingsyouareseeingandhearing
Thinking versus Feeling
Thinking Wordsandlabels
Logicandreasoning
Judgmentandanalysis
Stories
Involveswhat’sinyourhead
Feeling Sensa4onsinthebody–
par4cularlyinthechestandbelly
Vocaltonesandbodylanguage
Aredifficulttoputintowords
Involveswhat’sinyourheart
I Feel…
1. …likeyoudon’tcareaboutmeatall
2. …veryhurtbywhatyousaid
3. …sadandlonely
4. …beatup
5. …tense
6. …likeyouareanidiot
7. …likegivingup
8. …nervous
9. …pressureinmychest
10. …alumpinmythroat
11. …scaredoflife
12. …thatIwillneverbeabletosucceed
I Feel…
1. …likeyoudon’tcareaboutmeatall(thinking)
2. …veryhurtbywhatyousaid(feeling)
3. …sadandlonely(feeling)
4. …beatup(thinkingwithsomefeeling)
5. …tense(feeling)
6. …likeyouareanidiot(thinking)
7. …likegivingup(thinking)
8. …nervous(feeling)
9. …pressureinmychest(feeling)
10. …alumpinmythroat(feeling)
11. …scaredoflife(feelingwithsomethinking)
12. …thatIwillneverbeabletosucceed(thinking)
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Upcoming Emotional Healing Class
July28‐SessionOne:AngerandDepression
August18–SessionTwo:GriefandHardness
September1–SessionThree:FearandCompulsion
September8–SessionFour:Prac4calTools
Costis$147andincludesacopyoftheHeart’sKeybook
Registeratwww.treelite.comorcall800‐416‐2887
Other Classes
FlowerEssenceClasswithIsadoraTavens Sept13,Sept27,Oct4,Oct11
WillbedoingaRayidIridologyclassthisfallorwinter
Willbeofferingclassesandworkshopsaroundthecountry
