Fulton Psychological Group
Successful Successful Communication with Communication with
your Childrenyour Children
Fulton Psychological Group
Fulton Psychological GroupFulton Psychological Group
Individual TherapyIndividual Therapy Group TherapyGroup Therapy Parent TrainingParent Training Family TherapyFamily Therapy Couples TherapyCouples Therapy Psychological TestingPsychological Testing PsychiatryPsychiatry
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Methods of Methods of CommunicationCommunication
TalkingTalking Body languageBody language ToneTone TextingTexting EmailingEmailing FacebookFacebook Sending picturesSending pictures Writing notesWriting notes ActionsActions
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Creating OpportunitiesCreating Opportunities
Create direct and indirect methodsCreate direct and indirect methods Unplug you and your children while Unplug you and your children while
traveling, doing family activities and traveling, doing family activities and around mealsaround meals
Mealtime (don’t lecture, scold, Mealtime (don’t lecture, scold, reprimand)reprimand)
Have your children do more with you Have your children do more with you (cook, household projects)(cook, household projects)
Do fun things with your childrenDo fun things with your children
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Creating the Right Creating the Right EnvironmentEnvironment
Express your care and give positive Express your care and give positive feedbackfeedback
Toleration helps, too much creates bad Toleration helps, too much creates bad habitshabits
Model communication by talking to your Model communication by talking to your children about yourselfchildren about yourself
Communicate through your actions: take an Communicate through your actions: take an interest in their activities, be involvedinterest in their activities, be involved
Ask open ended or specific questionsAsk open ended or specific questions Sandwich critical feedbackSandwich critical feedback
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Teach Communication Teach Communication SkillsSkills
Active listen, respond to both content and Active listen, respond to both content and emotionsemotions
Respond to both manifest and latent contentRespond to both manifest and latent content Give feedbackGive feedback Help establish feelings vocabularyHelp establish feelings vocabulary Do the “try that again” methodDo the “try that again” method Model good communicationModel good communication
Eye contactEye contact Body languageBody language ToneTone Being clearBeing clear
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Watch the ToneWatch the Tone
Be empathic, show you understand their Be empathic, show you understand their plightplight
Avoid a negative or hostile toneAvoid a negative or hostile tone Be direct and don’t engage in the dramaBe direct and don’t engage in the drama Avoid getting too loud or too emphaticAvoid getting too loud or too emphatic Don’t be dismissive, take your children Don’t be dismissive, take your children
serious (their points are serious to serious (their points are serious to them)them)
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Parenting Styles and Parenting Styles and CommunicationCommunication
AuthoritarianAuthoritarian Rigid, demands obedience, non-Rigid, demands obedience, non-
communicativecommunicative AuthoritativeAuthoritative
Set rules, communicates reasoning, Set rules, communicates reasoning, affectionateaffectionate
Permissive (involved vs. uninvolved)Permissive (involved vs. uninvolved) Few boundaries, little structure, may or Few boundaries, little structure, may or
may not communicate or be involvedmay not communicate or be involved
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Managing vs. RelatingManaging vs. Relating
Two general Two general categories of categories of parentingparenting
We spend most of We spend most of our time managingour time managing
Need to set up Need to set up time for relatingtime for relating
Compartmentalize Compartmentalize managing your managing your childrenchildren
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Don’t Tell, AskDon’t Tell, Ask
When your children come to you with a When your children come to you with a problem, ask how they would approach itproblem, ask how they would approach it
When you see your children making a When you see your children making a mistake, ask what the outcomes could bemistake, ask what the outcomes could be
Ask your children to evaluate themselvesAsk your children to evaluate themselves Implement some of their ideasImplement some of their ideas Thinking aloud helps model problem Thinking aloud helps model problem
solvingsolving
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Dealing with High Dealing with High ConflictConflict
Don’t react negatively to negative feelingsDon’t react negatively to negative feelings Be aware of your hot buttonsBe aware of your hot buttons Empathize and let them express Empathize and let them express
themselvesthemselves State problem and don’t get side trackedState problem and don’t get side tracked Solicit solutions, discuss pros and cons Solicit solutions, discuss pros and cons
and come up with a viable solutionand come up with a viable solution Avoid engaging, escalatingAvoid engaging, escalating Take a break if necessaryTake a break if necessary
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Communicating LoveCommunicating Love
Your children need to hear it expressedYour children need to hear it expressed Many ways to communicate love, Many ways to communicate love,
affectionaffection Five love languages: Five love languages:
Words of AffirmationWords of Affirmation Quality TimeQuality Time Receiving GiftsReceiving Gifts Acts of ServiceActs of Service Physical TouchPhysical Touch
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Things to AvoidThings to Avoid
Being overly critical (they need your Being overly critical (they need your acceptance)acceptance)
Interrogations and yes & no questionsInterrogations and yes & no questions Asking self incriminating questions Asking self incriminating questions
when you know the answerwhen you know the answer Repeating yourselfRepeating yourself Using too many wordsUsing too many words Talking when tempers are flaringTalking when tempers are flaring