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Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.Walter Lippman, The Stakes of Democracy 1915
INTRODUCTION
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PERCEPTION
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Navigating
Foundering@eegrove
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Furlongs’sCircle of Conflict
Relationships
Externals/Moods
Data Structure
Values
Interests
ESCALATION
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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes
Avoiding Accommodating
Compromising
CollaboratingCompeting
Cooperativeness
Ass
ert
iven
ess
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Social VirusCONTAGION
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Consensus
Shuttle diplomacy to de-escalate
Support and safety
AccommodateNegotiateGet factual
Peacekeeping/Protection
What might you do?:
Adkins: http://agile.dzone.com/articles/agile-managing-conflict
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"Separate the people from the problem.”
"Focus on interests, not positions.”
"Invent options for mutual gain.”
"Insist on using objective criteria.”
"Know your BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement)”
William Ury, Getting to YES, 1981
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CONSTELLATION
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Everyone is right…but only partiallyLyssa Adkins and Michael Spayd
POSITION?@eegrove
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North-Going Zax
Position 1:I MUST HAVE THE
LEMON!
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South-Going Zax
Position 1:I MUST HAVE THE
LEMON!
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POSITION?http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796
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North-Going Zax
Position:I MUST HAVE THE LEMON!
Interest: I need the rind of the lemon
to make pound-cake
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South-Going Zax
Position:I MUST HAVE THE LEMON!
Interest: I need the pulp of the
lemon to make lemonade
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Discuss
• In a conflict situation, how might it help to identify your interests/other parties’ interests before discussion?
• How might you help the other party feel comfortable in sharing the interest?
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CONTRADICTION
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North-Going Zax
Two heads are better than one
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South-Going Zax
If you want something done
right, do it yourself
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Recap
Perception: What’s your perception of conflict? What kind of conflict are you engaged in?
Escalation: What escalates conflict? What is your reaction to conflict?
Contagion: How does your behaviour affect other people?
Constellation: Who is affected? Who needs to be involved in the solution?
Position: How to differentiate between position and interests?
Contradiction: How can we appreciate multiple truths and recognize our biases?
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Great relationships rely on passionate disagreementPatrick Lencioni
ResourcesPUBLICATIONS• Furlong (2005) The Conflict Resolution Handbook• Thomas & Kilmann Conflict Modes:
http://www.kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki• Adkins, Navigating the 5 Levels of Conflict the Agile Way:
http://agile.dzone.com/articles/agile-managing-conflict• Fisher and Ury (1981),Getting to YESGAMES• Perception (What Color is Conflict?):
http://www.teachervision.fen.com/classroom-management/activity/2922.html• Escalation (Role Plays): http://esrnational.org/resources/lessons-from-connected-and-respected/• Contagion (Social Virus): http://www.thiagi.com/pfp/IE4H/august2011.html#Jolt• Constellation (Problem Constellation):
http://agilemeditation.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/problem-constellation/• Position (I MUST have the lemon!): http://learningstore.uwex.edu/Assets/pdfs/B3870-09.PDF• Contradiction (Au contraire): http://www.thiagi.com/pfp/IE4H/february2013.html#JoltPHOTO CREDITS• http://www.flickr.com/photos/jsjgeology/8512500151• http://www.flickr.com/photos/afireinwinter/9304601336• http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnson7/1460568819• http://www.flickr.com/photos/jkadlec/8650818989• http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Rolling-thunder-cloud.jpg• http://www.flickr.com/photos/niaid/8411599236• http://www.flickr.com/photos/kenlund• http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N• http://www.flickr.com/photos/djlicious/2191502470
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Thank you!