HOW TO
LISTEN
EFFECTIVELYFROM THE SUCCESS / COMMUNICATIONS SERIES
ANGELA LA GAMBA, CC, CL
TOASTMASTERS
FEBRUARY 2014
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
• The Importance of Listening
• 10 Steps to Listening Greatness
• Group Exercise
• In Summary
Questions? Email [email protected] or tweet @AngelaLaGamba
THE IMPORTANCE OF
LISTENING
• Listening is…• Paying attention• Caring about • Validating• Acknowledging
• Leaders use excellent listening skills for:• People development• Solution finding• Building & communicating a
vision• Leading projects or teams
Questions? Email [email protected] or tweet @AngelaLaGamba
10 STEPS TO LISTENING
GREATNESS
1. Face the speaker and make / maintain eye contact
• Avoid the “Look at me when I’m talking to you” moment
• Put aside papers, books, the phone and other distractions
2. Be attentive, but relaxed
• Be present, stay focused
Questions? Email [email protected] or tweet @AngelaLaGamba
10 STEPS TO LISTENING
GREATNESS
3. Keep an open mind
• Listen without judging the other person or mentally criticizing the things s/he tells you
• Listen without jumping to conclusions• Don’t be a sentence-grabber
4. Listen to the words and try to picture what the speaker is saying.
• Create a mental model of the information being communicated
• Concentrate on what is being said, even if it bores you
Questions? Email [email protected] or tweet @AngelaLaGamba
10 STEPS TO LISTENING
GREATNESS
5. Don’t interrupt and don’t impose your “solutions”
• It is rude to interrupt others!• Interrupting says: “I’m more
important than you are” and “I don’t really care what you think”
• Ask permission to share a solution: “Would you like to hear my ideas?”
6. Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions
• If you don’t understand, ASK
Questions? Email [email protected] or tweet @AngelaLaGamba
10 STEPS TO LISTENING
GREATNESS
7. Ask questions only to ensure understanding
• Don’t take detours from the original conversation
8. Try to feel what the speaker is feeling
• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
• Convey feelings through your facial expressions and words
• Empathy is the heart and soul of good listening
Questions? Email [email protected] or tweet @AngelaLaGamba
10 STEPS TO LISTENING
GREATNESS
9. Give the speaker regular feedback
• Reflect the speaker’s feelings - “You must be thrilled!” “What a terrible ordeal for you.”
• Nod, show your understanding through occasional well-timed “hmmm” or “uh huh”
10. Pay attention to what isn’t said – to nonverbal cues
• Majority of direct communication is probably non-verbal
Questions? Email [email protected] or tweet @AngelaLaGamba
GROUP EXERCISE
• Were you listening to today’s presentation?
• Write down 5 of the 10 ‘steps to listening greatness’ on a blank sheet of paper
• Let’s go over them together!
Questions? Email [email protected] or tweet @AngelaLaGamba
THANK YOU!
ANGELA LA GAMBA, CC, CL
TOASTMASTERS
FEBRUARY 2014
HELPFUL RESOURCES
• Friedman, D.M. (n.d.). The Lost Art of Listening. Dr. Don Friedman. Retreived from: http://www.drdonfriedman.com/uploads/Don_LISTENING.pdf
• Galbraith, A. (2012, May 30). How using extreme listening can develop leadership skills. Training Zone. Retreived from: http://www.trainingzone.co.uk/topic/soft-skills/how-using-extreme-listening-can-develop-leadership-skills/173524
• Schilling, D. (2012, November 9). 10 Steps to Effective Listening. Forbes. Retreived from: http://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2012/11/09/10-steps-to-effective-listening/
• Smith, D. (2009, July 6). Are You Really Listening? Training Zone. Retreived from: http://www.trainingzone.co.uk/topic/soft-skills/are-they-really-listening
