Southside Security Improvements New security measures will be

installed in Southside following

a campaign by Ian Howgate, a

concerned student.

T h e Students Res idence

Commi t t ee , the C o l l e g e

Commi t tee that con t ro ls

res idences , has dec ided that

secur i ty lodges wil l be built at

the East and West en t rances to

Sou ths ide . O n e ent rance wil l be

manned by a messenger dur ing

the day and both wil l be manned

after 10pm. Magne t i c l ocks will

be in t roduced and lockab le post

boxes will be instal led.

T iza rd Hal l Commi t tee have

asked Dr Henry Hu t ch inson ,

warden of T izard Ha l l , to

r ec om m en d to the Ch ie f

Secur i ty Off icer , that bed room

looks are rep laced and extra

Secur i ty personel emp loyed .

Mr Howgate commen ted 'As

far as I'm conce rned the

p roposa ls are g o o d proposa ls ,

but they must go the who le way'.

He est imates that the cost of

mann ing both doors th roughout

the day wil l be sixtyf ive pence

per week per person in

res idence in P r incess G a r d e n * .

IC Un ion Pres ident Ca r l

Bu rgess told FEL IX that he

Ian Howgate

thought the proposa ls were

g o o d . He sa id though that

secur i ty cou ld be improved if the

guards c h e c k e d the U n i o n C a r d s

of people enter ing Sou ths ide . H e

pointed out that va luab les had

been sto len f rom locked rooms

by peop le who appeared to have

sto len keys. A Un ion card check

wou ld in his view result in these

peop le being caught . He

admit ted that s u c h a check

wou ld be a nu isance to

Wacky Field Cup This year's Field Cup is reported to have been a tremendous

success. A Guilds' spokesman stated that lots of 'very silly' things

were done, in a generally boisterous and high-spirited atmosphere:

'You'd be surprised what people will do to their bodies if they

think they'll.get points for it,' he said.

It was claimed that the best-selling drink of the evening was a

pint of bitter, liberally doused with curry powder, while for two of

the revellers, sharing a 'willy-warmer' was seen to be the right way

to pass the time.

Sou ths ide residents, but sa id

that residents wou ld have to

dec ide whether they wanted

conven ience or secur i ty .

Mr Bu rgess a lso sugges ted

that an alarm shou ld be put on

the ent rance to the tunnels

under Sou ths ide .

T h e Manag ing Surveyor of

Res idences , Peter Ha l lwor th told

F E L I X that the modi f ica t ions

wou ld 'hopeful ly be comple te by

the start of S u m m e r term'.

Apology IC U n i o n Pres ident , Ca r l

Burgess , has apo log ised to

Sou ths ide residents after

d is rupt ing on open meet ing on

secur i ty by turn ing drunk.

The meet ing had been ca l led

by Ian Howgate , a Fa lmouth

K e o g h resident who has*

campa igned about secur i ty in

Sou ths ide , so that residents

cou ld draw up proposa ls for

improv ing secur i ty . Mr Howga te

opened the meet ing by out l in ing

the prob lems.

Mr Bu rgess arr ived late in an

inebr iated state with Ch r i s

Hendy , Fa lmouth K e o g h

subwarden . Mr Hendy then took

the chai r and Mr Bu rgess started

mak ing speeches and prevented

Mr Howgate speak ing .

Eventual ly Mr Howga te lead a

walkout by residents when he

dec ided that d i scuss ion was

imposs ib le .

Mr B u r g e s s wrote a letter to

F E L I X on Monday luncht ime

apo log i s ing for his behav iour

and he a lso apo log ised to U n i o n

Counc i l - f o r br ing ing the U n i o n

into d isrepute.

D

D

3] 2

D

t

D

c s

Free Friday 21 February No 732

E

Sabbaticals

C a r l B u r g e s s was w r o n g to

g o to the S o u t h s i d e

meet ing on S u n d a y drunk.

H e was there as a s tudent

representat ive. H e was

there to c o n v i n c e

S o u t h s i d e res idents that he

was suppo r t i ng thei r efforts

to improve S o u t h s i d e

secur i t y . Un fo r tuna te ly h is

pe r fo rmance d i s i l l us ioned

them.

Hav ing sa id th is , on

M o n d a y m o r n i n g C a r l ,

rea l ised his mis take. H e

knew he c o u l d not res ign

b e c a u s e this late in the

year n o b o d y w o u l d take o n

the respons ib i l i t y of be ing

Pres ident . H e d id the on ly 1

th ing he c o u l d do, w h i c h

was to a p o l o g i s e to

eve ryone c o n c e r n e d .

Hope fu l l y , by d o i n g this he

wi l l rega in peop le 's

c o n f i d e n c e . It is qui te brave

to admi t b lame and C a r l

has d o n e this. I hope he

gets s o m e credi t for d o i n g

s o .

If a n y o n e e lse wants to

be a sabba t i ca l c o m e and

see me as s o o n as poss ib l e

as I have to adv ise y o u

about p r o d u c i n g pub l ic i ty .

Credits

T h a n k s to J Mar t in Tay lo r ,

B i l l G o o d w i n , A n d y Major ,

R i c h a r d S m i t h , J a n e

S p i e g e l , K a m a l a S e n ,

S u n n y Ba ins , Sa rah Ki rk ,

B e n j a m i n , R o s e m a r y

H o s k i n g , J i m C l a y d e n ,

Ma rk Cot t le , C h r i s

E d w a r d s , Dave J o n e s , Dave

Gr i f f i ths , C h r i s S tap le ton ,

N i g e l A t k i n s o n and Pete

W i l s o n .

FELIX is publ ished by the Edi tor for and on behalf of Imperial Co l l ege

Un ion Pub l ica t ions Boa rd and is printed by the Imperial Co l l ege Un ion

Print Unit. Pr ince Conso r t R o a d , London , SW7 2 B B , (Tel 01-589 5111

ext 3515). The Edi tor of FEL IX is Hugh Southey and The Bus iness

Manager is J Mart in Taylor . Copyr igh t FELIX 1986. ISSN 1040-0711.

Star Trek Stiffs

Southside: The

Apologies Dear H u g h ,

M a y I take this oppor tun i t y

to a p o l o g i s e to al l t hose

c o n c e r n e d for a l l ow ing the

Sou ths i de secur i ty meet ing

to co l l apse into a state of

d i sa r ray on S u n d a y

even ing . T h e on ly reason I

of fered to cha i r the meet ing

was I thought it wou ld

make it eas ie r for Ian to put

forward his v iews if not in

the chai r . O n ref lec t ion it

was obv ious l y w r on g to

at tempt to cha i r the

meet ing as I d o U G M ' s . we

all make mis takes!

I w o u l d l ike however to

use this s p a c e to

congra tu la te Ian o n the

hard work he has

under taken in an at tempt to

better Secur i t y in

Sou ths i de . T h e lack of

Secu r i t y in S o u t h s i d e has

been of c o n c e r n to me

du r i ng my three years as

S u b w a r d e n of F a l m o u t h -

K e o g h Hal l and I can

assu re all res idents that

'any moves to improve the

s i tuat ion have my ful l

b a c k i n g .

•'Yours apologetically

\Chris Hendy

;|TO W H O M IT M A Y

; C O N C E R N

|On S u n d a y , 16th February ,

I a t tended a meet ing with

var ious S o u t h s i d e res idents

c o n c e r n i n g the secur i t y in

Sou ths ide . T h e meet ing

was at 9 .00pm a n d I regret

to say I tu rned up more

than somewha t inebr ia ted .

Hav ing been reminded of

the meet ing ear l ier du r i ng

the day, after I had star ted

d r i nk ing , I s h o u l d then

have taken the d e c i s i o n not

to at tend the meet ing .

Un fo r tuna te ly I d id not take

that d e c i s i o n and s o made

a m i s t a k e *

I have been in fo rmed that

many peop le were upset

over my c o n d u c t at the

meet ing , and so I s h o u l d

l ike to take this oppor tun i t y

to a p o l o g i s e to t hem. I

shou ld a lso l ike to exp la in

that the secur i ty s i tuat ion

in S o u t h s i d e has been ful ly

invest igated and p lans are

under way to inc rease the

secur i ty there.

The re have been many

p rob lems in the past a n d

we have tr ied th is t ime to

c o m e up with a v iab le

so lu t ion . If a n y o n e wou ld

l ike to c o m e and see me to

d i s c u s s this or any other

matter p lease feel f ree to

do so .

Carl Burgess

President

17 February 1986

Dear Mr Sou they ,

I speak for a large numbe r

of IC s tudents when I say

that, f rank ly , we' re get t ing

bored stiff by s o m e of the

mater ia l w h i c h has been

appea r i ng in the F E L I X

' letters' pages recent ly .

S o m e F E L I X H a c k s think

they ' re be ing amaz ing l y

funny by s l agg ing off o ther

peop le wi thout hav ing the

guts to s ign their n a m e s at

the bo t tom, prefer r ing to

use s o m e p s e u d o - c o m i c a l .

'Star Trek ' n a m e s ins tead.

J a m e s E Kirk (Cap ta in

K i rk?) w h o wou ldn ' t wear a

tie to a ' C r a z y T ie ' party,

s e e m s to me the sort of

pe rson w h o wou ld go to a

1920's party in a pink toga

and to a v icars and tarts

party wear ing mo to r - cyc l e

leathers. T h e ga rbage that

' S p o c k ' and ' J a m e s E Kirk '

have been wr i t ing is the

sort of dr ivel most IC

s tudents sneer at wi th utter

con tempt , so I'm sure we' l l

al l heave a s igh of relief

w h e n we s top see ing it.

Yours sincerely,

Alastair Seymour

Elec Eng 1

Southside: The

Complaints

Dear S i r ,

W e have just re turned f rom

a meet ing of the

commi t tees of S o u t h s i d e

Hal ls . It was ca l led by Mr

Ian Howga t e of F a l m o u t h -

K e o g h a n d was to c o n c e r n

Secu r i t y in S o u t h s i d e , a

p rob lem of great

impor tance to those w h o

live here.

It is the fee l ing of the

unde rs igned that the

pe r fo rmance of the U n i o n

representat ive present

s h o u l d be b rough t to the

at tent ion of the s tudents of

Imperial .

T h e meet ing p r o c e e d e d

wi th speed and e f f i c iency

under the c h a i r m a n s h i p of

Mr Howga te , unt i l M r

B u r g e s s and M r H e n d y

arr ived late and under the

in f l uence of a l c o h o l . T h e

best that c o u l d be sa id of

Mr B u r g e s s was that he

c o u l d sti l l walk.

There to al l intents and

pu rposes the meet ing

s t opped , as these two

gen t lemen took con t ro l ,

ous t ing Mr Howga te f rom

the cha i r .

M r B u r g e s s gave us a

long sp ie l on his v i r tues as

a representat ive of IC

s tudents , con ta i n i n g what

must by the quo te of the

century ' . , no one ever

no t ices what I do ' .

Fo l l ow ing this he at tempted

to keep ' b l oody order ' by

prevent ing those with val id

po in ts f rom mak ing them.

Mr H e n d y the new

cha i rman was noted as

s topp ing the meet ing seven

t imes to ask the same

s imp le ques t i on , ' D o e s

a n y o n e present feel

sat is f ied with secur i t y in

S o u t h s i d e ? ' on the last

o c c a s i o n he was answered

wi th a resound ing ' N O ! ' Mr

H o w g a t e left say ing the

meet ing wou ld reconvene

later as he wa l ked out in

d isgus t .

T h e last point f rom the

f loor was ' cou ld the

Pres iden t Please be sober

at the next mee t i ng? ' A

sent iment e c h o e d by many

of the a s s e m b l e d s tudents .

Th i s point may not have

made the minutes as the

meet ing c o u l d be sa id to

have c l o s e d , b e c a u s e we

were all leav ing.

If Mr B u r g e s s wou ld w ish

to truly represent IC

S tuden ts , then perhaps he

s h o u l d arrive on t ime and

in a state in w h i c h he c o u l d

remember the night before,

the morn ing after.

We hope that he, or the

U n i o n , wou ld act on this

observa t ion and think that

not on ly shou ld the un ion

o f f ic ia ls (espec ia l ly the

Pres ident ) represent the

s tudents but shou ld a lso be

representat ive of the

s tudents .

If Mr B u r g e s s feels that

he was in a fit state to

represent the U n i o n at a

meet ing of s tudents , then

pe rhaps both the U n i o n

and the s tudents of

Imperial s h o u l d c o n s i d e r

ra is ing the s tandards of

their P res iden t ' s behav iour ,

or se r ious ly c o n s i d e r

e lec t ing s o m e o n e who 's

Friday 21 February FELIX

Southside: The Complaints... (continued)

s t a n d a r d s ref lect t hose of

the major i ty

Yours sincerely,

Mai Hunter (UG Rep

Tizard)

M Steer (Staircase Rep

Tizard)

GK Whittaker (concerned

student)

Jez Deacon (Staircase Rep)

A Wonnacott (Ass

Subwarden)

Steven Norton (Chairman

Tizzard)

M Mueller (Tizard resident)

This reflects the views of a

large number of Southside

students who weren't

present so can't legtimately

sign this letter

D e a r F E L I X ,

O n S u n d a y e v e n i n g I

a t t ended a mee t i ng of

S o u t h s i d e res iden ts in

F a l m o u t h - K e o g h to d i s c u s s

w i d e s p r e a d c o n c e r n ove r

secu r i t y a r r a n g e m e n t s . T h e

mee t i ng had been c a l l e d by

Ian H o w g a t e , a F a l m o u t h -

K e o g h res ident w h o had

d o n e a su rvey on the extent

of thef ts f r om r o o m s a n d

mai l r acks . T h e ob jec t of

the mee t i ng was to have

been for Ian to p resen t h is

v iew of the p r o b l e m to

in te res ted s tuden t s a n d to

c a n v a s for s u g g e s t i o n s . I

u n d e r s t a n d Ian had

c o n s u l t e d the S o u t h s i d e

w a r d e n s a b o u t the p r o b l e m

a n d that they had a g r e e d

that th is s h o u l d be a

res iden ts c a m p a i g n

i n d e p e n d e n t of the

w a r d e n s , w h o have been

m a k i n g the i r o w n ef for ts o n

the sub jec t for s o m e t i m e .

C a r l B u r g e s s , as

p res iden t of the U n i o n , had

been inv i ted to a t tend to

l is ten to the res iden ts c a s e .

H o w e v e r M r B u r g e s s

ar r ived o b v i o u s l y s o m e w h a t

inebr ia ted a n d p r o c e e d e d

to in ter rupt Ian a n d a n y o n e

e l se w h o s p o k e , to ramb le

i n c o h e r e n t l y a b o u t h o w

c a p a b l e he was a n d to s l a g

off t h o s e e x p r e s s i n g

c o n c e r n . T h e s i tua t ion w a s

m a d e no bet ter by C h r i s

H e n d y , F a l m o u t h - K e o g h

s u b w a r d e n , w h o o f fe red to

h e l p Ian by c h a i r i n g the

mee t i ng . Un f o r t una t e l y M r

B u r g e s s w a s a l l o w e d to

c o n t i n u e m a k i n g a foo l of

h imse l f a n d no a t tempt w a s

real ly m a d e to let Ian put

h is c a s e be fore a

d i s c u s s i o n w a s s ta r ted . T o

be fair the s i tua t ion w a s not

h e l p e d by two o ther p e o p l e

p resen t w h o s e e m e d intent

on c h a l l e n g i n g every t r iv ia l

po in t , but in a shor t p e r i o d

of t ime p e o p l e w h o s h o u l d

k n o w bet ter had c a u s e d an

impor tan t mee t i ng to

d e g e n e r a t e to a f a rce . At

th is po in t Ian led a wa lk out

by mos t of the res iden ts

p resent .

S o u t h s i d e secu r i t y is a

very s e r i o u s i ssue , it is a

p r o b l e m that has been

a l l o w e d to c o n t i n u e far t oo

l o n g . W h e n p e o p l e w h o are

s u p p o s e d to rep resen t us ,

a n d I rea l ly m e a n C a r l

B u r g e s s , b e h a v e l ike tota l

wa l l y ' s ove r mat ters w h i c h

were o b v i o u s l y of c o n c e r n

to a la rge n u m b e r of p e o p l e

it is t ime to wor ry . M r

B u r g e s s was intent on

ins i s t i ng that the mat ter be

left to h im but how, c a n we

f rank ly be e x p e c t e d to t rust

in C a r l w h e n he is to ta l ly

i n c a p a b l e of s h o w i n g

o rd i na r y s t uden t s that he is

t rus twor thy . S o m e may say

that it is too late in the yea r

to th ink abou t vo tes of no

c o n f i d e n c e , but the

s i t ua t i on c a n n o t be a l l o w e d

to c o n t i n u e w i thou t s o m e

c o m m e n t . It is impor tan t

that p e o p l e w h o get e l e c t e d

s h o u l d not be a l l o w e d to

th ink that they c a n n o t be

he ld r e s p o n s i b l e for the i r

i n c o m p e t e n c e , a n d I fo r

o n e w o u l d s u p p o r t a

m o t i o n c e n s u r i n g C a r l

B u r g e s s for h is s t up id

behav iou r .

Mark Cottle

Falmouth Keogh Resident

D e a r F E L I X ,

T h i s e v e n i n g at F a l m o u t h

K e o g h Ha l l , we a t tended a

m e e t i n g c o n c e r n i n g the

state of secu r i t y in the ha l ls

of r e s i d e n c e .

It is a mat ter of c o m m o n

k n o w l e d g e that at p resen t

s c a r c e l y a d a y p a s s e s

w i thou t s o m e e x a m p l e of

a b y s m a l neg lec t in th is

a rea . D u r i n g recen t w e e k s

res iden ts ' ma i l has been

repea ted l y s to l en , m a c h i n e s

v a n d a l i s e d etc . W e

d i s c o v e r e d today , that o n l y

o n F r i day two r o o m s w i th in

the S o u t h s i d e c o m p l e x

we re en te red , p r o b a b l y w i th

o n e of the my r i ad of mas te r

keys w h i c h are f ree ly

ava i l ab le to al l a n d s u n d r y ,

a n d in o n e of t hese r o o m s

a wal le t a n d £1,000 wor th

of c a m e r a e q u i p m e n t w a s

r e m o v e d . T h i s h a p p e n e d at

1.15pm at w h i c h t ime the

res iden t was tak ing a

s h o w e r on the s a m e

l a n d i n g .

A t the m e e t i n g , the

at t i tude d i s p l a y e d by the

s u b w a r d e n C h r i s H e n d y

w a s s o m e w h a t ak i n to h is

a t tempts to qu ie ten the

n o i s y a n d v a c u o u s at IC

U G M ' s . H e w a s seve re l y

out of t o u c h w i th the n e e d

for a c t i o n rather than the

- • J " "

s o u n d of h is o w n v o i c e au tho r i t i es to ins t iga te a n y ffR

be ing e x e r c i s e d . In add i t i on a c t i o n to i m p r o v e the IPS* to th is , ou r sa la r i ed fac i l i t ies ava i l ab le .

represen ta t i ve , C a r l • S o u t h s i d e e n t r a n c e s are 53

B u r g e s s , w a s o b v o u s l y not s e c u r e . At the Se lk i r k

i n tox i ca ted to a d e g r e e en t rance , the lock bar re l is M*>

w h i c h r e n d e r e d h is at t imes so w o r n as to a c c e p t any f £

use fu l i n te l lec tua l a p p r a i s a l key, a n d a lmos t any I C H VI

at a level s o m e w h e r e c l o s e b lank key wi l l o p e n it. T h e j

to that of a m a n d e c e a s e d . ca rd key s y s t e m is st i l l not

Even tua l l y the ins t iga to r o p e r a t i o n a l , a n d w o r e out

of the m e e t i n g , Ian very fast w h e n it was . It is

H o w g a t e , u n a b l e to put st i l l easy to ga in a c c e s s to

fo rward his o b s e r v a t i o n s on the S o u t h s i d e tunne l level

the mat ter d u e to M r s y s t e m via the lifts a n d v i ce

H e n d y ' s o b s t r u c t i o n i s m , ve rsa . F r o m th is po in t , the

left, f o l l o w e d by a la rge lifts at e a c h e n d of the

n u m b e r of the o ther b u i l d i n g c a n be o v e r i d d e n ,

res iden ts . a n d c a l l e d to the tunne l

It is essen t i a l that leve l . T h e p o s s i b l e

S o u t h s i d e secu r i t y is c o n s e q u e n c e s of th is c a n

i m p r o v e d immed ia te l y , eas i l y be i m a g i n e d ,

b e c a u s e the s i tua t ion h a s S o u t h s i d e secu r i t y are

de te r io ra ted to the po in t of too o v e r w o r k e d to c h e c k

r id i cu le . S o u t h s i d e secu r i t y o n e v e r y o n e en te r ing v ia

work to the best a d v a n t a g e the i r e n t r a n c e ,

p o s s i b l e , but they a re Wi l l it requ i re a n o t h e r

h a m p e r e d by lack of rape or w o r s e , be fo re

m a n p o w e r . T h e faul t rea l ly a c t i o n is t a k e n ?

l ies wi th the fa i lure of the B Morrison

U n i o n a n d C o l l e g e A Banister

Letters to FELIX must arrive in the FELIX Office by 1.30pm

if they are too be printed in Friday's FELIX. All letters must

be signed although names will be witheld if requested.

Letters can be on any subject. The Editor can not

guarantee to print any letter. No ;etter, though, will be

edited without the author's consent.

f f V E c e e !

o 9

U L U Travel , Imperial Col

Sherf ield Bui lding,

Prince Consor t Road ,

London S W 7 .

Tel: 01-581 8882

ege.

svm TheWorldbeaters

FELIX Friday 21 February 3

A Public School

Snob Writes...

Dear S i r ,

Wh i l s t the '3rd year

C o m p u t i n g U n d e r g r a d u a t e '

h a s s o m e in teres t ing

a c e r b i c c o m m e n t s to m a k e

on i nnocen t M S c s tudents ,

I wou ld have t hough t it

better for h im to w i thho ld

h is s c u r r i l o u s ran t ings f rom

the o therw ise relat ively

sane pages of F E L I X . H i s

sort of sn ide , u n d e r h a n d

c o m m e n t s shou ld be

reserved for s u c h gut ter-

press o rgans as ' R C S

Broadshee t ' .

In my o p i n i o n (wh ich is

un for tunate ly b i ased as I

a m f rom pub l i c s c h o o l ) the

'o ld boys ' are the on ly ones

w h o do real ly k n o w h o w

th ings s h o u l d be d o n e .

Con t ra r y to popu la r bel ief

we are not s n o b s o r gay .

W e have manne rs (wh ich

the C o m p u t i n g

unde rg radua tes obv ious l y

l acks ) , most of us are

reasonab le pub l i c s p e a k e r s

(unl ike the U n i o n

execu t i ves ) , mos t of us

have talents in o ther f ie lds

apart f rom j us ' s c i e n c e and

we are p repared to work to

improve ourse lves a n d the

reputa t ion of ou r co l l ege ,

rather than lett ing it be

d r a g g e d d o w n to the level

of the insuf ferab le 3rd year

C o m p u t e r Sc ien t i s t . Let us

have no more of thei r

inverted snobbe ry !

Yours faithfully,

Physics Undergraduate

(Name supplied)

A Great

Guy/Woman

Writes...

Dear S i r ,

T h e obse rva t i on by the 3rd

year C o m p u t i n g

U n d e r g r a d u a t e is

abso lu te l y cor rec t . I a m an

M S c c o m p u t i n g s tudent

mysel f and I have seen

M S c Pos tg radua te s tuden ts

w h o think that they have

the mak ing of a po l i t i c ian

by the s w a g g e r and d i sp lay

they put into their

' ques t ions ' .

For tunate ly , I happen to

fall into the al ternat ive

desc r i p t i on of M S c

s tudents : 'Mos t M S c ' s are

great guys /women . . . ' . A s

s u c h I w o u l d l ike to adv ise

3rd year C o m p u t i n g

Unde rg radua te to be more

c i r c u m s p e c t in h is

ca tego r i s i ng IC s tudent

popu la t i on into 3 d is t inc t

g r o u p s b e c a u s e by a s ing le

e x a m p l e and o n e fel l s t roke

of h is pen , he has

c o n s i g n e d all M S c ' s to

eternal in famy. Af ter a l l , al l

o p i n i o n s are l ike a r s e h o l e s -

eve rybody has one .

Yours sincerely,

MSc Computing Student

Name withheld by request

Moonie Blues

Part 2

Dear H u g h ,

I read M i k e B a l c o m b ' s

letter in last week s F E L I X

wi th s o m e interest, no t ing

in par t i cu la r his ex tens ive

use of o n e s tudy as proof

that h is o rgan i sa t i on

( C A R P ) is not the og re

' M o o n i e B lues ' makes it out

to be.

Hav ing tw ice read Dr

Ba rbe r ' s book ' The M a k i n g

of a M o o n i e ' ( there's no

need to s p e n d £12, as there

is a c o p y in the H a l d a n e

L ibrary) I wou ld l ike to

share a few observa t ions .

Dr Ba rbe r was ' c h o s e n '

by the Un i f i ca t i on C h u r c h

to c o n d u c t her s tudys as

she was un l ike ly to be

b iased aga ins t the c h u r c h

at the start. T h i s is not

meant to sugges t that

f u n d i n g c a m e for w i th in the

Un i f i ca t i on M o v e m e n t

( infact, the S S R C foo ted

m u c h of the bi l l ) , but it

must be borne in m ind that

it was the M o o n i e s w h o

asked E i leen Barbe r to

invest igate thei r

o rgansa t i on . W h i l e s h e was

not a U C member , s h e had

had s o m e con tac t wi th

t hem, and had not

a p p e a r e d to be

unsympa the t i c .

'The mak ing of a M o o n i e '

cove rs qui te ex tens ive ly

rece iv ing t echn iqu e (as

obse rved ) , b u t , qu i te

r ight ly d raws c o n c l u s i o n s

on l y as far as the v o l u m e of

e v i d e n c e permi ts . T h e

e v i d e n c e c a m e part ly f rom

f i rs t -hand e x p e r i e n c e in a

n u m b e r of un i f ica t ion

cen t res and part ly f rom

ques t i ona i res and

in terv iews with past and

present (then) U C

m e m b e r s . N e e d l e s s to say ,

the cur rent m e m b e r s were,

to man , adamen t that they

had not been b r a i n w a s h e d .

S o m e of the ' leavers ' had

di f ferent ideas. M r

B a l c o m b s sugges t i on that

a l lega t ions of b ra inwash ing

have been d i s con t i nue d is,

of c o u r s e , i nde fens ib le

(Wi tness F E L I X , 31 2 86)

If t ime permi t ted, it wou ld

be tempt ing to d i s c u s s the

po l i t i ca l act iv i t ies of the U C

and the mora l i ty of the

un i f i ca t ion c o n c e p t of

'D iv ine Decep t i on ' .

However , in c o n c l u s i o n I

w o u l d rather remind

readers that, wh i le C A R P ,

the Un i f ca t i on c h u r c h , the

Ho l y Spi r i t A s s o c i a t i o n for

Un i f i ca t ion of wor ld

Chr i s t i an i t y , a n d all the

other re lated o rgan i sa t i ons

may, legal ly s p e a k i n g be

qu i te separa te they have in

c o m m o n the po l i c ies ,

p r i nc ip les a n d a i m s of the

Rev S u n M y u n g M o o n .

Yours sincerely,

Alastair Macleod

Let ters are al l very we l l but

how do y o u write to a few

hund red ( thousand) peop le

all at o n c e and in an

e n g a g i n g a n d witty manner

t o o ? I mean , wr i t ing hurts,

it hurts me at least. A n d ,

don ' t on l y m e a n in the

menta l way , I f ind my hand

is l i fe less, my a r m du l l ened

after on ly a few pages of

l o n g h a n d s t rugg le . I can ' t

type, k n o w no sho r thand

and even if I c o u l d pay

s o m e b o d y to d o it al l for

me I p robab l y wou ldn ' t

b e c a u s e I'm a m e a n

bas tard . O r I w o u l d be if I

had any m o n e y to be m e a n

wi th . The re , I've used mean

4, no 5 t imes a l ready . Rest

assu red gent le reader, it

wou ldn ' t happen if I had a

decen t vocabu la ry . Tha t I

p lace the b lame for on my

E n g l i s h t eache rs of

yes te rday . A n d a bit before

that as wel l . G r a m m a r

wasn ' t s p o k e n of, week l y

spe l l i ng tests were in and

very little e lse . A few years

a g o a w o m a n w h o used to

live next d o o r to us

c o m m e n t e d to my mother

o n how w e l l - s p o k e n I n o w

was 'and h im hav ing been

in remedia l Eng l i sh c lass

too! ' I was ou t raged at th is

s lu r on my abi l i ty, I've

never been remedia l in my

life, the cheek of it a l l . N o w

here I a m and I feel

ex t reme ly , we l l , remed ia l . A

gir l at a party last week

i n t r oduced me to

s o m e b o d y as 'the guy who

is qu i te g o o d at tenn is but

shi t at c o m p u t i n g ' . A l i fe's

amb i t i on c r u s h e d in the

hands of a 6 foot a m a z o n

wi th the a c c u r a c y of a

s t r ik ing c o b r a . A n d she

doesn ' t know how bad I a m

at tenn is as we l l . R e c e n t l y

I've been g rapp l i ng wi th a

sense of i n a d e q u a c y not

seen s i n c e Wal te r Mit ty. In

my d reams I a m a

s u c c e s s f u l pe rson .

S u c c e s s f u l in soc ie t y ' s

terms; s o m e t h i n g in my

w a k i n g m o m e n t s I p ro fess

to s h u n . A woo lga the r i n g

woo l y - p r i nc i p l e d

backs l i de r . I can ' t th ink of a

w o r d mean ing back s l ider

that beg ins wi th a 'w'.

W h e n I leave th is al tar of

learn ing , no doub t wi th

some th i ng to s h o w for it, I

sha l l do if not my utmost

then cer ta in ly qu i te a lot to

forget what little, I have

ass im i la ted . A t h e o l o g y

s tudent o n c e remarked to

me on the little known fact

that in h is o p i n i o n

c o m p u t i n g was the most

sense less (and use less)

d e g r e e sub jec t out . H a d I

been qu ick of m ind and

n imb le of t ongue I wou ld

no doub t have retor ted that

the s tudy of anc ien t

re l ig ions , c o m p a r i s o n of

mode r n o n e s and t heo logy

in genera l isn't my idea of a

relevent sub jec t e i ther. But

there y o u are. St i l l , I hope .

T h e r e I mean . A n d there

st i l l is that 4-letter wo rd , I

don ' t s e e m to know of a

better one. A letter in an

o ld t e c h n o l o g y S u n d a y

n e w s p a p e r f rom a s u b ­

ed i tor on a new one w h o is

not on ly a s h a m e d of h is

ac t ion (of s tay ing on the

staff) but not brave e n o u g h

to leave s t ruck me as

cu r i ous l y s t rong . A b l e to

put his name to a letter of

s u c h fo rce and c lar i ty as he

d i d , a b u s i n g h imsel f in the

nat iona l p ress , pe rhaps he

is one of a g r ow in g n u m b e r

of peop le e q u i p p e d with

the sk i l l s to surv ive in an

age , and a Br i ta in , l ong

g o n e past, never I th ink to

re turn. I don ' t b e m o a n its

loss or w ish for it to return,

mere ly that what rep laced it

hasn' t tu rned out to be all

that it p rom ised to be.

Woolgatherer

Friday 21 February FELIX

Bo Peep Ci ty and G u i l d s were

granted permiss ion to park

their masco t B o outs ide the

S c i e n c e M u s e u m dur ing

the of f ic ia l open ing on

W e d n e s d a y even ing of the

exh ib i t ion on '100 years of

Mo to r ing ' . Th i s move was

in tended to gain C & G s o m e

'needed publ ic i ty ' , sa id the

mechan ics , Pau l Ma l lone ,

Luke Wa lke r and Ed

Ash fo rd .

T h e car was parked on

the pavement outs ide the

museu m ent rance for just

The last

Word O n T u e s d a y G u i l d s

Pres ident Roger P reece

gave a talk on ' J e s u s the

last word on Man ' .

Mr P reece sa id that J e s u s

was a good moral ist and

preacher but that he wou ld

be regarded as a ' lunat ic ' if

he made his c la ims today.

But despi te this J e s u s d ied

for the sa lvat ion of

everyone.

Mr P reece said that he

had been brought up as a

Chr i s t i an s i nce the age of

five but he ques t ioned

re l ig ion in his teens and

that now as a Chr is t ian he

is sti l l learn ing about his

faith.

He then out l ined the

steps necessary to b e c o m e

a Chr i s t i an .

Ennals

Write R i c h a r d Enna l s , ex -

research manager of the

C o m p u t i n g Depar tment at

IC, has writ ten a letter to

M P s , exp ress ing his

conce rn s over SDI . Mr

Enna ls , who res igned

recent ly in protest against

Br i ta in 's invo lvement in

SDI , sugges ts that the

project may have been a

factor in the interest g iven

to s u c h compan ies as

West land and Br i t ish

Ley land by U S compan ies .

He a lso exp resses his belief

that, if the Pen tagon were

to have its way, a w ide

range of t echno log ies

wou l d be l iable to be

c lass i f ied as having a

mil i tary app l i ca t ion .

over an hour, and at t racted

a fair amoun t of at tent ion.

Severa l peop le came up

and chat ted with the

m e c h a n i c s and C & G

Pres ident Roger P reece .

B o , of f ica l ly desc r i bed as

the 'Pres ident 's Char io t ' , is

the o lder of the only two

J a m e s and B r o w n e

T o n n e a u s still in ex is tence.

It was manufac tu red in

1902 in Hammersm i t h and

was one of the first cars to

be des igned ent i rely in th is

country .

Dav id B rennan was

a c c u s e d of threaten ing

rape after the R S M

Va len t ines party last week.

T h e w o m a n in ques t ion , a

Meta l lu rgy student, sa id

that he had threatened her

with rape in the women ' s

toi lets. T h e po l i ce were

ca l led at her boyf r iends

request, and Mr B rennan

was arrested. C h a r g e s were

not p ressed after the

w o m a n was interviewed by

the po l ice . Mr B rennan has

been banned f rom C o l l e g e

and U n i o n p remises unti l

15th February 1987.

Take A

D o u g l a s A d a m s , author of

the s u c c e s s f u l 'H i tch H ike rs

G u i d e to the G a l a x y '

at t racted a large aud ience

when he ta lked to W e l l s o c

on M o n d a y .

M r A d a m s was g iven an

enthus ias t ic recept ion . H e

spent two ' hou rs reading

ext racts f rom his books

before invi t ing ques t ions

f rom the aud ience . Dur ing

the talk he ment ioned the

poss ib i l i ty of a 'H i t ch

H ike rs G u i d e ' f i lm and

a n n o u n c e d his intent ion to

travel to A m e r i c a by

wa lk ing over the f rozen

Ber ing Strai ts next year.

Later in the even ing M r

A d a m s au tog raphed cop ies

of his books wh i ch were on

sa le in the Bo t Z o o

C o m m o n R o o m .

Tight

Budget

The U n i o n F i n a n c e

Commi t t ee met last

Thu rsday to d i scuss the

expend i tu re est imates

submi t ted by the Un ion ' s

subcommi t tees . T h e

commi t tees inc lude those

represent ing c lubs , the

const i tuent co l l ege un ions ,

wel fare, and external

affairs. Dur ing the meet ing

it was agreed that the

subcommi t t ees shou ld re­

examine their c l a ims w h i c h

co l lec t ive ly were beyond

the U n i o n s budget. It was

a lso agreed that c l ubs

wh i ch had not submi t ted a

c la im wou ld receive no

extra money next year.

Duet for O n e , a L o n d o n

C a n n o n F i lms P r o d u c t i o n ,

was being f i lmed at the

Alber t Hal l on M o n d a y and

Tuesday . D i rec ted by And r i

Kancha lavsky and

p roduced by M e n a h a n

G o l a n and Yo ran G l o b u x , it

port rays a concer t

v io l in ist 's s t ruggle against

the c r ipp l ing d isease

Mul t ip le Sc le ros i s .

Ju l ie A n d r e w s plays the

lead role a c c o m p a n i e d by

A l a n Bates, as her husband

and c o n d u c t o r / c o m p o s e r ,

S

Organise Benefits Demo

N U S L o n d o n are

o rgan is ing a demons t ra t ion

about benef i ts next

Wednesday . S tuden ts are

s u p p o s e d to gather at

C o u n t y Hal l at 12 noon .

T h e demonst ra t ion wi l l

then go to the D H S S . IC

U n i o n wi l l tak ing part in the

demons t ra t ion . P e o p l e

go ing on the demonst ra t ion

sho'uld gather at Beit A r c h

at 11.30am.

Maxne l l C e d i o s , as her

psychiat r is t , and Ruper t

Everett (of ' Danc e wi th a

St ranger ' fame) who plays

her pupi l and concer t

partner.

B a s e d on a stage play by

T o m K e m p i n s k i , or ig ina l ly

written for his wife F ranc is

De L a T o u r a n d Dav id

Delegser , it was ext remely

success fu l in L o n d o n

dur ing 1980 and is

expec ted to be re leased in

February 87.

College Accomodation Application forms for new and re-

applicants to halls/houses and head tenancies are available today (21st February) from Student Services.

Applications close Friday 5th March at 4pm

Union Bar

T

Wethereds 50p Strong Lager 55p

Live Music

Duet For One

FELIX Friday 21 February

Ladders

M y f r iend M o b i u s is a

ded i ca ted p u z z l e fanat ic .

S o add i c ted is he in fact,

that he con t i nua l l y invents

p u z z l e s f rom everyday

s i tua t ions (much to my

a n n o y a n c e ) . T h e o ther day ,

for e x a m p l e , he to ld me

that on his way to c o l l e g e

he was wa l k i ng d o w n a

sma l l a l l eyway beh in d his

h o u s e T h e a l l eyway w a s 5

feet w ide . T w o ladders

were p laced s o that e a c h

ladder t o u c h e d the base of

the oppos i t e wal l to that

w h i c h it was l ean ing o n ,

a n d they bo th leaned

aga ins t di f ferent wa l ls . O n e

ladder was 16 feet l ong , the

other 11 feet long . What

M o b i u s wan ted to know

was ; c o u l d he, w a l k i n g in a

s t ra ight l ine parre l le l to the

a l l eyway , walk unde r both

ladders w i thout b u m p i n g

his head ( M o b i u s is

ex t reme ly unsupe rs t i t ous

and wi l l pu rpose l y walk

under l adders in d e f i a n c e

of superna tu ra l f o rces )?

M o b i u s wou ldn ' t tel l me the

answer , he sa id it wasn ' t

very di f f icul t a n d I s h o u l d

do it mysel f . But he d id say

that I shou ldn ' t take into

a c c o u n t the wid th of h is

head or the ladders . C a n

y o u tell me what a n s w e r he

g o t ? B y the way , M o b i u s is

5 feet 11 i nche s tal l .

R a n d o m l y se lec ted

w inne r wi l l rece ive £5.

A n s w e r s p lus c o m m e n t e tc

to the F E L I X o f f ice by

T u e s d a y l unch t ime p lease .

It s e e m s that the p r o b l e m I

set a few week s ago , t r icky

t r iang les, first a p p e a r e d in .

F E L I X four yea rs ago , in

Mar t i n S Tay lo r ' s exce l len t

S C A R A M O U C H E C o l u m n .

B e i n g qu i te a c lever puzz le -

it p r o b a b l y go t p a s s e d

a r o u n d unti l it r eached me,

so the credi t s h o u l d go to

Mar t i n . N o n e of the few

w h o entered knew th is ,

t h o u g h , s o no ha rm d o n e .

Wha t ' s in teres t ing is that,

back in 1982 Mar t in got

e leven co r rec t ent r ies ,

wh i l e I on ly got f ive

so lu t i ons in tota l ! H a s

in f la t ion s o r e d u c e d the

va lue of £5 s i n c e 1982?

A c t u a l l y I've been a bit .

d i s a p p o i n t e d genera l l y wi th

the r e s p o n s e to s o m e of my

more in terest ing p rob lems .

M y p re fe rence is t owards

insp i ra t iona l type p r o b l e m s

that need a f l ash of ins igh t

to so lve , rather than the

s l og it out permuta t ion

type, but the latter

invar iab ly get a better

r e s p o n s e . P l e a s e let me

k n o w what y o u prefer, o r

whe ther y o u th ink the

p r o b l e m s are too hard .

Valentine

Verisimilitude—Solution

A n d r e a sent O l i ve r ' s c a r d .

B a r b a r a sent Ne i l ' s c a r d

C h r i s t i n e sent Pete 's ca rd

D i a n a sent Luke ' s ca rd

E l i zabe th sent M ike ' s ca rd

A n d r e a was Pete 's s ister .

I got e leven ent r ies w h i c h

were all co r rec t s o y o u

o b v i o u s l y f o u n d th is qu i te

easy . T h e r a n d o m w inne r

was R i c h a r d S q u i r e , E l ec

E n g 1. Y o u c a n co l l ec t y o u r

£5 pr ize f rom the F E L I X

o f f ice after 1.30pm M o n d a y .

Pennies

Wel l , even wi th last week ' s

c l ues I st i l l rece ived no

ent r ies to th is p r o b l e m

pity, s i n c e I t hough t it

qu i te an in terest ing on

a n d not too di f f icul t . I

y o u though t about it,

anyway . Here ' s what I

made of it.

C o n s i d e r d raw ing a l ine

d o w n the cent re of the

table, then , w h e n y o u r

o p p o n e n t puts a c o i n d o w n

s o m e w h e r e , y o u put y o u r s

in exac t l y the s a m e point

but re f lected in the cent re

l ine.

T h i s m e a n s that at any

point du r i ng the g a m e the

pattern of c o i n s wi l l be

s y m m e t r i c a r o u n d the

cent re l ine, a n d y o u wi l l

a lways be ab le to put a

c o i n d o w n oppos i t e y o u r

o p p o n e n t ' s c o i n unti l there

are no g a p s left.

***** h o p e * f

l ines and ref lect in both of

these,

oo

o o

o o

o o

o o

o o

o o

O b v i o u s l y th is on ly w o r k s

if a) you r o p p o n e n t never

puts a c o i n on the cent re

l ine, and , b) y o u r

o p p o n e n t g o e s first. T h u s it

is not very sa t is fac to ry . T h e

next re f inement is to d raw

two p e r p e n d i c u l a r cen t re

t h u s exp lo i t i ng the

c o m p l e t e symmet r y of the

tab le . T h e p rob lem here is

that the cent re point does

not move, so if y o u r

o p p o n e n t ' s co in ove r laps

the cent re y o u won' t be

ab le to put y o u r s in the

re f lec ted pos i t i on . S t i l l , th is

s t ra tegy a lways wo rks if

y o u go first (s ince y o u c a n

nab the cent re pos i t ion a n d

then fo l l ow the o ld

st rategy) and wi l l p robab l y

work if y o u go s e c o n d , as

l ong as you r o p p o n e n t

never puts his co in over the

m idd le of the tab le.

Th i s is as far as I c o u l d

get wi th th is one . If th is

i nsp i res y o u to th ink of any

better s t rategies, p lease let

me know.

l

ANNOUNCEMEN T •TRAFFIC WARDENS—TO DEPT HEADS—A PLEA If you have a visitor who has to br ing in a car please contact the G A T E H O U S E (3395) and we will ar range a parking bay for you . Th is is important. C o n f u s i o n over bays shou ld be lessened! Thank you . •Coming soon Imperial C o l l e g e S y m p h o n y Orches t ra (with IC Cho i r )—Mah le r S y m p h o n y No 2—Fr iday 23 Feb, 8.00pm, Great Hal l , T icke ts £1.50 from Ha ldane Library, Orches t ra members, at the door. •Choir Rehearsal Sunday 23 Feb , Great Hal l , 11.00am. A n y o n e we l c o m e to s ing Mahler Symphony No 2.

•Mahler Resurrection Symphony

Only one more week to go.

•Stalls are needed for the fo r thcoming Rag Fete on 26 Apr i l next term. Wou ld you like a stal l? They shou ld ideally be entertaining and money- ra is ing so please have a think. Contac t Man Tai T s e u n g , Rag Secretary IC Un ion or C h e m Eng P igeon holes.

• M A H L E R 2, Choir Rehearsals A n y o n e interested in s ing ing in this

mammoth work is most we lcome to attend the fo l lowing rehearsals: -Sunday 23 Feb (Great Hai l) , 11.00-12.30pm, 14.00-15.30, Wednesday 26 Feb (Great Hall) 19.00-20.00pm, Friday 28 February (Great Hall) 17.15-18.15pm Conce r t 20.00pm. •The Fourth Day of the week on 301/999 your first level Mus i c P rogramme gives you Zer ra 1, who? L is ten 6-8.00pm Saturday. •Two brewery trips next week. See diary for detai ls.

ACCOMMODATION

•Single room in immaculate flat. Avai lab le N O W ! G a s Cent ra l Heat ing , te levis ion and te lephone. Contac t Rufus Short (Elec Eng U G P igeon holes) or ring internal 3440.

WANTED •Bass player to join two guitarists and drummer to play var ious covers and or ig inals , blues, funk, rock and bop inc lud ing , Po l i ce , Vapours , J o h n Waite, Huey Lewis , Robert Fray, Don Henley. A im ing for g igs f rom this summer . Own equipment , en thus iasm, image and talent essent ia l , t ransport a help, mus ic reading a lso desirable. Don't waste our t ime and we won't waste yours . Contac t Pau l Nai lur Phys i cs P G 3 , Blacket t cost M E N P Ext 6798 •Have you got a projection video system or v ideo moni tors or know of anyone who might have access to them? P lease contact Man Tai Tseung IC Un ion Off ice. Te rms

negot iable.

•Situations vacant Have you got what it takes to run Ci ty and Gu i l ds Un io n next year? Papers up Monday .

FOUND •At P ICOCON belt for light brown raincoat. See S F S O C for return.

LOST •Small , silver engraved bracelet. If f ound , p lease contact J Shepherd B i o c h e m 2.

FOR SALE •Fender Precision Bass B lack , maple neck, D i -marz io p ick-ups, badass br idge, 1971, Very good cond i t ion . £240 Including fl ight case . R ing 373 8399 evenings.

•Matching Technics Tuner (STZ55L) and Casset te Deck (M233x), cassette Deck Do lby B / C , d B X metal tape, tunner-quartz lock, 16 presets, auto-tune. Both excel lent Cond i t i on , only one and half years o ld . £65 each ono. Contac t Phi l Sparks through E E

Letter racks or phone 01 373 8714

and ask for me in Flat B1 .

•Tickets for Pr incess Ida, Frid and

Sat. A quali ty show at an af fordable

pr ice. T ickets avai lable f rom Level 2,

Sher f ie ld Bu i ld ing at luncht imes

SERVICING * REPAIRS

at

RICKY'S GARAGE

fPersonal service guaranteed.)

I» QUEENS GATE PLACE MEW*

SOUTH KENNNGTON.

LONDON S.W7

t « i roi.iai tsat

ENDSLEIGH INSURANCE SERVICES LIMITED

71 O l d Brompton R o a d

South Kens ing ton

L o n d o n S W 7 3 J S

Telephone 01-589 6783

Friday 21 February FELIX

It's almost all in the Mind or

The New Highway Code or

The New Baby's Names or

The New Family Tree

by Robert Dangoor

Published by R & D Publishers

20 Queen's Gate Terrace

London SW7 5PF

Tel: 01-589 4448

To be published 3rd May 1986

Price 50p

FILM A g n e s of G o d is an excel lent

f i lm. The int roduct ion to the

characters is indicat ive of

Norman Jen ison ' s intel l igent

contro l of character a n d plot.

Meg Ti l ly is bri l l iant as the

innocent nun, Sister Agnes ,

accused of murder ing her baby.

Her int roduct ion is first through

her pure and p ierc ing rel ig ious

s ing ing and then visual ly

shrouded in a heavenly light

(one of the many f ine examples

of photographer Sven Nykvist 's

contr ibut ions) . T h e protective

Mother Super ior , A n n Bancrof t ,

is first seen d isdainfu l ly

observ ing the psychiatr ist , Jane

Fonda , and then smi l ing away

and confess ing to a former

smok ing habit in excess of Ms

Fonda 's 'Two packs a

day...unfi l tered'. Jane Fonda

once again plays her usual

character, an independent ,

determined woman who doesn't

get pushed around by anyone.

The tranquil i ty of the convent

is shattered first by the

chi ldbir th sc reams of A g n e s and

then by the subsequent

d iscovery of a strangled baby in

her locked room. J a n e Fonda , Dr

L iv ingston, is appointed by the

court to determine whether

Agne s is mental ly fit to stand

trial. Th is then leads her into

conf l ict with the Mother Super io r

who resents the probing and

god less methods of psychiatry

and who fears that Dr

L iv ingston 's invest igat ions will

drive A g n e s away f rom G o d . S h e

also comes into conf l ic t with the

B ishop and the court authori t ies

who want a quick and c lean trial

and who appear to have little

sympathy for Agnes .

One of the great strengths of

this f i lm is the ambivalent

relat ionship between the Mother

Super io r and the psychiatr is t

whose background conta ins

many reasons to resent the

oppress ive and gui l t - r idden

nature of Cathol ic ism. Another

strength is the stunning

per formance of Meg Ti l ly who

makes a thoroughly conv inc ing

and worry ingly impressive loony.

She is a complete innocent

whose early life was severely

corrupted and whose educat ion

was terminated by her insane

mother. She has little knowledge

of body development and

regards the growth of breasts as

a tendency to f lab and that this

shou ld be combat ted by starving

herself to the th inness that she

sees in all the rel ig ious icons

around her. S h e has c o m e to

bel ieve that 'suffering is

beauti ful ' and that ' G o d hates fat

people ' . Her i nnocence a lso

leads her to believe very pecul iar

th ings about the or ig ins of

babies. The di rect ion by Norman

Jen i son is s imple and

uncluttered but yet very ski l led

with some wonder fu l set p ieces

such as the hy|. .osis scene with

the ever present oppress ive

Ca tho l i c i sm symbo l i sed by the

large c ross above Agnes . It is

probably the best f i lm so far this

year, and probably one of the

best of the year.

O n a complete ly different tack

is another f i lm to come out this

week, C o m m a n d o . In spite of

ending with 'o' l ike M a c h o or

R a m b o it is a good f i lm. What

saves it f rom being the standard

macho military mach ine against

the evil thousands is the

strength of the female

characters. They are there not

s imply as sex or love interests or

merely to be rescued or avenged

for, but are st rong capab le

characters essential to the

development of the plot. The

other strong point in this f i lm's

favour is it's sense of humour ; it

is del iberately very funny in

parts.

Co lone l J o h n Matr ix, A rno ld

Schwarzenegger , is the former

leader of an elite mil itary squad

who were instrumental in

depos ing an evil dictator and

instal l ing a democrat ic

government in a Sou th Amer i can

country. The aforement ioned

dictator then consp i res to k idnap

Matr ix 's daughter in order to

H

L A W R E N C E

Lady Chatterley's Lover

persuade him to assist the

dictator regain power. Of course

Arno ld is having none of this....

The humour in the fi lm is

largely int roduced through the

wonderfu l Rae Dawn C h o n g who

plays a stewardess, init ial ly an

unwi l l ing, but f inally a useful

and resourceful al ly to -Arno ld .

She is not only very witty but

also intell igent and capable ,

inc lud ing saving his life.

The ending is the usual one

man against imposs ib le odds,

but the f i lm does at least take

t ime to develop another side to

Matr ix 's character, that of the

loving father, and this is done

pretty well by Arno ld . A further

plus for the film is the lack of

pol i t ics, the baddies are not bad

because they have the wrong

ideo logy but because they have

dec ide ly ant i -social habits.

Anyway , I enjoyed it.

Th is is a good week for f i lms.

Another fi lm that opened

recently is the astonish ing

Streetwise, a documentary about

kids l iving on the streets of

Seatt le, Gateway to A laska . If

you didn't see it for yoursel f you

would f ind the situat ion these

chi ldren are in whol ly

unbel ievable.

The documentary reveals

some incredible attitudes

amongst the kids for their

parents, 'They're part of my past'

K im , 16, and the parents for their

kids. 'It's a phase she's go ing

through ' says a mother about

her prostitute daughter who is

p ick ing up cl ients before her

first per iod.

The fi lm contains some great

mus ic (though not enough) by

T o m Waits and a wonderfu l

version of 'Teddy Bears P i cn i c '

by Baby Gramps . T h o u g h the

f i lm is open to the well founded

charge of voyeur ism, it is made

with honesty and sympathy and

the presentation of the material

(92 minutes from 56 hours of

film and 26 hours of interviews)

shows a genuine concern for the

plight of the ch i ldren, and is a

credit to the cameraman,

director Martin Bel l and editor

Nancy Baker.

It is always compe l l i ng ,

somet imes funny and somet imes

tearfully poignant, take a deep

breath and go and see it.

0

'Fancy a Quickie?'

'How much luv?'

'£2.95'

Being given a copy of L a d y

Chatter ley's Lover for Valent ines

Day, I dec ided to review it for all

you love/ lust (delete as

appl icable) hungry IC students.

It really is remarkable how by

defy ing convent ion a mediocre

book such as this receives the

adulat ion worthy of a work of

gen ius—which it certainly isn't.

Perhaps his early death gave

him his myst ical popular i ty.

The story is about the

ar istocrat ic C o n s t a n c e having an

affair with Mel lors, her d isabled

husband 's gamekeeper , gett ing

pregnant and leaving her stately

home. Th is is all fairly

predictable but doesn' t quite

come off especia l ly at the end

when the plot te lescopes

somewhat—in fact the book is

downr ight bor ing, despi te the

relatively rare ' juicy bits' that

generat ions of voyeurs have

rummaged for.

Throughout this book I had

the impress ion that D H

Lawrence was a misogynis t of

the highest ca l ib re—women

should be seen and not heard,

and certainly not have an

orgasm unless their (male)

sexual partner is having one at

the same time. Whatever the

dub ious w isdom of two people

who hardly knew each other

having sex, 'Lady Chat ter ley '

showed women as primari ly for

mens' grat i f icat ion, wh ich

reveals him to be as narrow

minded as the so-ca l led

Vic tor ian prudes.

It's late in the year, and there's

no grant left, but co l lege food is

inedible and the k i tchens

covered in grease and moving

fur balls. So lu t ion—take the

bank manager out for a meal at

Le Bis t ingo and let her /h im pay.

Unl ike the Stockpot (behind

Harrods) or the Kwal i ty Cur ry

House (near South Ken station),

Le Bis t ingo isn't the cheapest of

nutrient retail businesses. Its

about £10-£15 per head but you

get what you pay for, wh ich can

be 3/4 courses of exquis i te

French food plus wine—and the

port ions aren't mingy either.

O n my last visit my partner

and I tucked into fried

mushrooms—del i c ious ly light

and cr isp with a sharp tartare

sauce, then I fo l lowed with an

overcooked duck with orange

sauce—the only blight on the

meal, whi le my fr iend ate a smal l

veal esca lope. O n a previous

occas ion I en joyed a large d ish

of Boeuf Bourgu ignon (fancy

stew and rice) wh ich was very

tasty. We didn't fancy anyth ing

on the sweet trol ley, but the

large g lasses of ice c ream, nuts

and choco la te we f in ished with

were a fitt ing complement to the

meal.

Le Bis t ingo has a smal l

se lect ion of fairly good

wines—the house white at £3.95

a bottle was cr isp and kind to

the palate, and the service was

unobtrusive and fr iendly. You

can find this pleasant little den,

wh ich is very romant ic with

f lowers and cand les on the

tables, on O ld B rompton R o a d ,

just South of South Kens ing ton

Stat ion.

/

Friday 21 February

Barclays:

At a recent U G M , a motion on Barclays was due to be

debated before a quorum was called. Sean Dunlop and

Hugh Rubin look at the reasons why Barclays should be

boycotted.

In S o u t h A f r i c a , a c o u n t r y

of e n o r m o u s natura l

wea l th , mos t b l ack p e o p l e

l ive in c o n d i t i o n s of

ex t reme pover ty , wh i l e the

sma l l whi te popu la t i on

en joys one of the h ighes t

l iv ing s t a n d a r d s in the

wo r l d . In al l w a l k s of l i fe-

h o u s i n g , e d u c a t i o n , hea l th ,

etc the fac i l i t ies ava i lab le to

b lack S o u t h A f r i c a n s are

vast ly in fer ior to t hose

en joyed by thei r whi te

c o u n t r y m e n .

Th i s in jus t ice is p o s s i b l e

b e c a u s e b lack S o u t h

A f r i c a n s are d e n i e d al l

po l i t i ca l r ights a n d power .

The i r o r g a n s a t i o n s are

o u t l a w e d , thei r protest

bru ta l ly s u p p r e s s e d , and

their leaders i m p r i s o n e d ,

to r tured and o c c a s i o n a l l y

mu rde red by the secu r i t y

f o rces . T h e apar the id

sys tem has been

c o n d e m n e d by the Un i t ed

Na t i ons as a ' C r i m e aga ins t

human i ty ' .

In the present 'state of

e m e r g e n c y ' , over 900

p e o p l e have d i e d , the vast

major i ty k i l led by po i .~e

a n d a rmy . O v e r 15,000

peop le were de ta ined

w i thou t t r ia l ; up to 80% of

w h o m are be l ieved to have

been sub jec ted to p h y s i c a l

o r p s y c h o l o g i c a l tor ture. In

N a m i b i a , w h i c h is i l lega l ly

o c c u p i e d by S o u t h A f r i c a ,

the p rac t i ce of tor ture by

the 100,000 s t rong S o u t h

A f r i can a rmy of o c c u p a t i o n

o n p r i sone rs is a l s o

w i d e s p r e a d .

T h e surv iva l of apar the id

is not due so le l y to the

mass i ve rep ress ion by the

secu r i t y f o r ces ;

mu l t ina t iona l c o r p o r a t i o n s

a n d espec ia l l y the

in ternat iona l banks , a l so

have thei r part to p lay.

Severa l Br i t i sh b a n k s p lay

a n impor tan t part in th is ,

espec ia l l y B a r c l a y s , a n d the

merchan t bank S t a n d a r d

C h a r t e r e d (a l though

B a r c l a y s has by far the

b igges t s take of the two) .

B a r c l a y s is the on l y Br i t i sh

H i g h Street bank wi th a

major s take in S o u t h A f r i c a .

B a r c l a y s , v ia its S o u t h

A f r i c a n s u b s i d i a r y B a r c l a y s

Na t i ona l , c o n t r o l s 30% of

all b a n k i n g in S o u t h A f r i c a ,

and is the largest s i ng le

bank there—i ts asse ts

c o m e to a s tagge r i ng £6

b i l l i on , i n c l u d i n g over £145

mi l l i on in gove rnmen t

secur i t i es

T h e bank has taken part

in mass ive l oans to the

S o u t h A f r i c a n g o v e r n m e n t

and to state c o r p o r a t i o n s

i n c l u d i n g , in 1980, a £280m

loan to E S C O M , the state

e lec t r ic i ty c o r p o r a t i o n ,

w h i c h has recent ly

c o n s t r u c t e d a £560 m i l l i on

nuc lea r power s ta t ion .

In 1976, B a r c l a y s

p u r c h a s e d £6 mi l l i on of

G o v e r n m e n t D e f e n c e

B o n d s , the reby d i rec t l y

s u p p o r t i n g the S o u t h

A f r i c a n a r m e d fo r ces ,

a l t hough it was f o r c e d to

sel l t hem a yea r later after

an in ternat iona l ou tc ry .

Th i s is not the on ly l ink

that B a r c l a y s has had with

"Why does a National Serviceman need a bank?"

the S o u t h A f r i c a n Mi l i ta ry : -

Unt i l it was d i s b a n d e d in

1982, the C h a i r m a n of

B a r c l a y s Na t i ona l was a

m e m b e r of the S o u t h

A f r i c a n D e f e n c e A d v i s o r y

B o a r d , w h i c h adv i sed the

a r m e d f o r c e s o n a r m s

p rocu remen t . T h e bank has

a lso he lped f i n a n c e a rms

sa les to S o u t h A f r i c a ,

a l t hough the bank says

u n k n o w i n g l y .

A l t h o u g h S o u t h A f r i c a ' s

c o n t i n u e d o c c u p a t i o n s of

N a m i b i a is i l legal

( a c c o r d i n g to the U N a n d

the Internat ional C o u r t ) ,

B a r c l a y s d i s p l a y s its

a c c e p t a n c e of the

o c c u p a t i o n by ope ra t i ng

there; In fact B a r c l a y s

con t ro l s half of al l bank

depos i t s taken in N a m i b i a .

F r o m th is cen t ra l ro le in the

N a m i b i a n e c o n o m y ,

B a r c l a y s p lays a key part in

c h a n n e l l i n g prof i ts f rom the

coun t r y to S o u t h A f r i c a - i n

1978 B a r c l a y s d i rec ted 18%

of its depos i t s taken in

N a m i b i a there.

B a r c l a y s ins is ts that its

c o n t i n u e d p r e s e n c e in

S o u t h e r n A f r i c a is a

l i be ra l i s ing i n f l uence on the

apar te id reg ime , a n d is

bene f i c ia l to the b lack

c o m m u n i t y . Howeve r , the

bank rece ives m o r e m o n e y

f rom the b lack c o m m u n i t y

than is re turned to it in the

fo rm of l oans or

inves tments ; the reby

re in fo rc ing the e c o n o m i c

barr ier that apar the id

ef fects . A l s o , a po l l

c o n d u c t e d by G a l l u p last

s u m m e r f o u n d that 7% of

b lack S o u t h A f r i c a n s

s u p p o r t e d in ternat iona l

s a n c t i o n s aga ins t thei r

coun t r y .

In 1981, B a r c l a y s w a s

n a m e d by the U N as o n e of

the ma in mu l t ina t iona ls

m a k i n g a 'substant ia l

con t r i bu t i on to apa r the id ' .

B e c a u s e of its

invo lvement in S o u t h

A f r i c a , B a r c l a y s has been

b a n n e d f rom m a n y

un ivers i ty c a m p u s e s .

Howeve r , on severa l

o c c a s i o n s last year (in

F E L I X , the I C U H a n d b o o k

a n d P H O E N I X ) I C U pr in ted

ful l page adver ts for

B a r c l a y s Bank . W e th ink IC

s tuden ts s h o u l d be

d i s c o u r a g e d f rom o p e n i n g

a c c o u n t s wi th a bank w h i c h

is s u p p o r t i n g , f i nanca l l y , a

coun t r y w h o s e cons t i t u t i on

is b a s e d on a sys tem of

ins t i tu t iona l ised r a c i s m . Fo r

those reason , a mo t i on

ca l l i ng on the U n i o n to

c e a s e to print adver ts for

B a r c l a y s B a n k has been

submi t ted for d i s c u s s i o n at

the U G M on 6 M a r c h . W e

h o p e y o u wi l l c o m e a n d

suppo r t the mo t i on .

OF

HAIRMAN

T L E < <£l~L. YOU

Friday 21 February FELIX

Boat Club

Last Sa tu rday saw the Boa t

C l u b rac ing for the first

t ime this year in o p e n

compe t i t i on . IC had e ight

c rews entered in the

Hen ley H e a d s of the River

in a f ie ld of 160.

Bo th the el i te c o x e d and

sen io r c o x l e s s fours w o n

their d i v i s ions by

impress ive marg ins a n d

c a m e s e c o n d and th i rd

respect ive ly overa l l , l os ing

on ly to the el i te leauder

c o x l e s s four. A l t h o u g h

those were the on l y two

w ins of the day for IC, the

other c rews c a m e wel l up

in the rank ing . T h e two

sen io r B c o x l e s s fou rs

c a m e s e c o n d and four th in

their d i v i s ion , the faster

c rew on ly los ing by two

s e c o n d s . T h e sen io r C

c o x e d four c a m e e igh th in

their d i v i s ion , w o n by K jngs

C o l l e g e , L o n d o n .

T h e N o v i c e s q u a d w h o

on ly began row ing this

year, en tered two fou rs and

c a m e s e c o n d and seven th

in their d i v i s ion , the 'A '

c rew on ly los ing by seven

s e c o n d s to a c rew in a far

super io r boat a n d after

be ing he ld up by ano the r

boat. T h e w o m e n s ' nov i ce

c o x e d four, aga in rac ing in

o p e n compe t i t i on for the

first t ime, c a m e four th .

T h e s e resul ts are very

e n c o u r a g i n g for the future,

espec ia l l y as the top two

c r e w s now c o m b i n e to fo rm

the first VIII, g o i n g on to

race the l ikes of O x f o r d

and C a m b r i d g e .

Biochem Soc

After a term of c l andes t i ne

mee t ings in seedy ca fes . A

term of ga ther ing under

hazy e lec t r i c l ight ref lected

f rom ye l l ow ing wa l lpaper .

T i red fana t i cs pass br ief ly

on f rosty s tat ion p la t forms

to hand over g r u b b y

m e s s a g e s .

W h o are these peop le?

What is this s t range

u n d e r g r o u n d s o c i e t y ? We l l

the t ime has c o m e for the

truth to be b rough t to l ight.

T h e Imperial C o l l e g e

B i o c h e m i c a l S o c i e t y

(prev ious ly k n o w n as the

B i o c h e m i s t r y L ibera t ion

Front) p roud l y a n d loud ly

p resen ts its lecture of the

year, k ind ly s p o n s o r e d by

the B i o c h e m i c a l Soc ie t y , is

to be held in the P i p p a r d

Lec tu re Thea t re on

T h u r s d a y Feb 27 at 1.00pm

and is ent i t led ' P h e r e m o n e s

and H u m a n Interact ion ' . It

wi l l add a who le new

m e a n i n g to you r ideas of

b o d y l anguage and pe rhaps

exp la in the mys tery of why

s o m e peop le wear Brut 33 !

S o for t h o s e of y o u w h o

have m i ssed out on our

events so far be there, for

th is o n e (no secre t h a n d ­

s h a k e s necessa ry ) .

Cycling Club

O K then , whe re were y o u

all last S u n d a y ? In bed

p robab ly . Th ree peop le met

at 10.00am for the week l y

C y c l i n g C l u b S u n d a y run,

and we d e c i d e d

u n a n i m o u s l y to z ip d o w n

the A 3 . Off we set, d id we

have a h e a d w i n d ? It

cer ta in ly felt l ike the w ind

was aga ins t us but we

never the less m a n a g e d to

keep up a fair pace . T h e

o r ig ina l p lan was to pay the

inhab i tan ts of D o r k i n g a

shor t visit, but after we

m issed the tu rn ing , w e

e n d e d up in G u i l d f o r d

whe re Mars B a r s and C o k e

were the o rder of the day .

T h e tr ip back was di f f icul t ,

as we f ound out that we

were now c y c l i n g into a

fa i r ly s t rong w i n d — w e had

the w ind beh ind us on the

w a y there! However , we sti l l

ar r ived back in S o u t h

K e n s i n g t o n just after

2 .00pm.

C o m e on all y o u cyc l i s t s !

M a k e 10.00am next S u n d a y

a date for a c y c l e r ide its

not that ear ly , a n d a n y w a y

the f resh air is cer ta in to

wake y o u up pretty qu i ck l y .

P S M a y 24th is a date to

keep free for the B i c y c l e

Be l l e -a de l ight fu l tr ip

t h rough the C o t s w o l d s wi th

a mass ive tea a f terwards.

Fo r more deta i ls turn up on

T h u r s d a y , 12.30, S o u t h s i d e

U p p e r L o u n g e .

Guilds

O n M o n d a y papers go up

for e lec t i ons to the C i t y

and G u i l d s U n i o n

Execu t i ve . The re are a

n u m b e r of exc i t i ng ,

c h a l l e n g i n g , sa t is fy ing j obs

for c a n d i d a t e s of the r ight

ca l ib re . T h e s e inc lude : -

President Mas te r of

t rad i t iona l U n i o n act iv i t ies

s h r o u d e d in mys t i c i sm

s ince t ime i m m e m o r i a l .

Hon Secretary Incred ib ly

impor tan t pe rson w h o d o e s

so m u c h , s p e c i a l i s e s in

F reshe rs d inne rs .

Academic Affairs Officer

Wears smar t sui ts a n d

k n o w s all the impor tant

peop le in C o l l e g e ; S i ts on

lots of commi t t ees .

Entertainment Officer

M a s t e r m i n d s the G u i l d s

Ents o rgan i sa t i on ,

ca rn iva ls , ba l ls , cock ta i l

par t ies, En te r ta inments wi th

sty le.

Publicity Officer S o m e b o d y

has to tell the peop le !

C o n t r o l s the G u i l d s Pr in t

Uni t .

Old Centralians

Representative L i a s e s wi th

past s tuden ts a n d meets

lots of peop le w h o have

g o n e t h rough IC a n d l ived

to tell the tale.

P a p e r s are d o w n on the

28th Feb Don ' t be put off if

you 've not had m u c h

e x p e r i e n c e in G u i l d s . Y o u

c o u l d be the o n e for the

job . C o m e to the of f ice and

f ind out.

S&G

I have wri t ten this ar t ic le

b e c a u s e the paper has

been d e c i d e d l y weak on

S & G tr ips recent ly . S o for

all y o u poo r s tudents out

there c o o p e d up in beds i ts

and f lats s tud ious l y put t ing

you r al l into you r work

here 's a breath of the

S n o w d o n i a air. Yet ano the r

g l i m p s e of that wonde r fu l

f r eedom that eve ryone w h o

has a stout pair of legs,

waterproof c l o t h i n g , s t rong

boo ts , a map , to rch and

c o m p a s s a n d the wi l l to get

away f rom it all c a n

e x p e r i e n c e .

Un fo r tuna te ly S n o w d o n i a

t r ips wi th S & G a lways fal l

into the s a m e pat tern, and

after 3 years , its b e c o m i n g

a bit bo r i ng . First on

Sa tu rday there 's a c r o w d

ready to at tempt the

S n o w d o n h o r s e h o s e , seven

of the f inest up land mi les in

Grea t Br i ta in , wonde r fu l

s c e n e r y and a t ru ly

en joyab le walk, but is it sti l l

en joyab le w h e n eve ryone

g o e s for it eve ry t ime? I

k n o w I don' t en joy c r o w d s ,

espec ia l l y on C r i b G o c h

w h e n half of them are

c o m i n g towards y o u . T h e

kni fe edge b e c o m e s t r icky

then , s o as h a p p e n s most

years a sma l l con t i ngen t

(about 12 of us, forty were

on the tr ip), headed for

T ry fan and the G l y d y r s .

A g a i n an en joyab le

s c r a m b l e wi th s o m e g o o d

w a l k i n g . Th i s t ime t h o u g h

the weather was aga ins t us,

too w i n d y by half and

d a n g e r o u s as T ry fan was

cove red in ice. N i n e of us

c a m e d o w n after get t ing

three quar ters of the way

up, app rox ima te l y 2700 feet

above s e a level . We had

taken the Nor th r idge but

f ound it too icy nearer the

top. In years past

Sa tu rdays g r o u p s have

headed for the C a r n e d d s

(Kev in and Pete in 1985)

but I have never heard of

a n y o n e g o i n g for M o e l

S i a b o d (2860) G R 708545,

E l id i r Fawr (3030) G R

612613, C a r n e d d y F i husb

(2695) G R 621 628,

M y r n y d d Per fedd (2665)

D R 623 618, F o e l - y o c h

(2727) G R 628 611, Y Foe l

g o e h ( M o e l - y - C a s e g )

(2636) G R 582 678, Ga i t y

O g o f (2499) G R 587686 I

know they are lower but

they ' re but they ' re ideal in

w o r s e / b a d weather .

A t tempts c o u l d be made for

Pen yr He lg i - du (2622) G R

726626. C o m e on S & G

w iden you r e x p e r i e n c e ,

dont just rely so ley on

t rad i t ion.

It's g o o d fun a n d most

peop le en joy it. C o m e on ,

l iven it up. D o s o m e more

exp lo r i ng , g ive it a try!

i d

F i rm ly c l u t c h i n g his l oo fah ,

the wri ter w o n d e r e d what

to do next. H e knew what

he wou ld l ike to do next.

But, he m u s e d , it was

p robab l y i l legal a n d

a n y w a y the nearest farm

was mi les away . H is ear ly

m o r n i n g rever ie was

d is tu rbed by a stoat f ly ing

in th rough the ba th room

w i n d o w a n d s t r i ck ing h im

c i a r p l y on the c r a n i u m .

Ret r iev ing the

unfor tunate ly beast f rom

the w a s h b a s i n , the wri ter

found a note t ied a r o u n d its

neck . Wri t ten in g reen

c r a y o n , the note read as

fo l lows : K U M T O T H E

N E C K S T Q T M E A T I N G O R

I'LL K IK Y O R H E D I NN '

S o m e of the wr i t ing was

jo ined up, he noted

appra i s ing l y , that must

have taken the C h a i r m a n

hours .

A r r i v ing at the meet ing

ear ly , the wri ter was met by

the irate c h a i r m a n . T h e

latter was , as a lways ,

immacu la te l y d r e s s e d ,

spo r t i ng a three p iece suit

of f inest red s t r iped

wa l lpaper , c o m p l e t e with

ma tch ing c h e q u e b o o k .

' N o w look ' , b e g a n the

c h a i r m a n , ' you have m i ssed

three meet ings in a row.

A n y more of this

absen tee i sm a n d I sha l l

have to take away your

execu t ive perks. '

S u c h a s ? ' Inqui red the

wri ter. ' U s e of the execu t i ve

asht ray ' s n a p p e d the

c h a i r m a n , w h o f requent ly

s n a p p e d under p ressure . At

this the wri ter b e c a m e pale

and s i lent , a n d l i s tened

attent ively wh i le the g roup

p lanned an a r s o n at tack on

the A lber t Ha l l 'just for a

laf f . T h e fo l l ow ing m o r n i n g

the stoat reg is tered with

B U P A .

FELIX Friday 21 February 11

Indoor

Cricket

The day started b leak ly at

'5 .00am at Beit and

con t inued right up to the

end of the day at 8.30pm

outs ide Ae ro . T h e days

events were domina ted by

the van. S o m e

incons idera te and probab ly

p issed Bastard f rom C & G

had c h u n d e r e d in the van

and it stank. T h e journey to

Brune i was not bad, the

roads were c lear but Cap t

Br idger 's dr iv ing left .

someth ing to be des i red .

Due to some excel lent

nav igat ion by Le P o i s s o n

we arr ived half an hour

early and p icked our 7th

man up f rom Uxb r i dge

stat ion before return ing to

the g round . It took the

umpi res about 45 minutes

to fix the p i tch before we

took on the pro fess iona l

Brune i s ide. Cap t Br idger

batted well in the face of

t ight bowl ing and f ie ld ing

to return with 25. K ing and

Devon were out qu i ck l y

then Turner and Wright

batted well as did Br idger

on his return. H a m m e r was

run out wi thout fac ing as

IC c l o s e d on 125 for 5 f rom

12 overs. T h e bow l ing d id

not match up to the batt ing

as Brune i k n o c k e d the runs

off for the loss of two

wickets with an over to

spare. H a m m e r be ing the

on ly bowler to c o m e out

with any credi t as he

bow led his 3 overs for on ly

16 runs. After a qu ick visit

to P i zza Hut in Uxb r idge ,

we watched Brune i paste

East A n g l i a . We then took

on Sur rey . The early

bowl ing of Wr ight and

Devon restr icted Sur rey but

later on with some smi l ing

they sco red freely against

Br idger and Turner , so

c lose on 112 for 4 f rom 12

overs. IC responded in f ine

fash ion with Fish and

Devon str ik ing the ball wel l

with F ish sco r i ng the

fastest 25 of the day f rom

on ly 11 bal ls in 3 overs

inc lud ing a 6. In the midd le

IC c rumb led a bit with

Devon , K ing and Turner

gett ing out in qu ick

s u c c e s s i o n . Br idger and

Wright then took the sco re

to 102 with 10 needed f rom

2 overs. Br idger was run

out fo l lowed by Wright who

s tood and watched when

he shou ld have run. Th is

left F ish to sco re 7 on his

own . A 3 fo l lowed a 2 and

with 3 bal ls to go he was

run out leaving Sur rey

w inners by 2 runs. Brune i

Cricket

UAU Indoor Competition

IC v Brunei

IC 125 for 5 (72 overs) (Bridger 52, Wright 26, Turner 27 not out) 3runel 127 for 2 (77.5 overs) Brunei won by 4 wickets

v Surrey

Surrey 112 for 4 (72 overs) '

IC 110 all out (11.3 overs) (Fish 31,

Surrey won by 2 runs Bridger 23, Dewan 20)

IC v Univ East Anglia

IC 55 all out 6.2 overs) (Dewan 17) U E A 56 for 4 (8 overs) (Dewan 2 for 12) UEA won by 2 wickets

Rowing

Henley Fours Head

Crew

Elite 4 -

Senior A 4-

Senior B 4- (A Crew)

Senior B 4- (B Crew)

Novice 4 -

Women's Nov ice 4^-

pasted Sur rey and IC vs

U E A was just a c a d e m i c . IC

reversed the order and

fai led badly to get all out

for 55. U E A were in s o m e

di f f icul ty at 20 for 3 but

then they sco red 18

( inc lud ing) 2 s ixes in the

on ly over f rom Le P o i s s o n

and then they won by 2

w icke ts . A l l one hopes for

is that we play far better

ous ide in the S u m m e r U A U

games.

Team: Dave Bridger, Tim

Harmer, Lionel King, Rajiev

Dewan, Andy Wright, Sean

Turner and Gareth Fish and

thanks to Julie Davies (the

Capt wife) for scoring and

looking after us.

Division Position Overall 1st 2nd 1st 3rd 2nd 11th 3rd 2nd

Water

polo

Fo l l ow ing a s low start to

the new year the water-

po lo squad had begun to

red iscover s o m e of the

sk i l ls that took them to the

U A U Fina ls to be held at

Sh rewsbu r y at the end of

the month .

An ear ly defeat by a

s t ronger heavy s ide that

lost to Imperial last term

d id noth ing for our mora le

and the absence of two key

p layers didn't help. After

two matches were

cance l l ed due to oppos i t i on

Wednesday Results Hockey ULU League

R S M 1sts 1

IC Ists 2 Football

ULU League

IC 1sts 3

iC 2nds 1

R S M Ists 4 Upper Reserves Cup Semi-Final

IC 4ths 2

R C S

Q M C

Q M C

St Marys

IC

U C

ISts 2

1sts 2

Ists 3

1sts 1

3rds 0

3rds 3

Thursday February 27th

Inter C C U Swimming Gala/Waterpolo

6.30pm IC Sports Centre

Come and have fun, whether getting wet or

supporting.

Prizes and 'refreshments' afterwards

Interested? Then contact:

Jane Ryder Physics 3 for RCS

Nigel Owen Room G13a for Mines

Clare Lupton ME1 for Guilds

pul l ing out at the last

moment a subdued team

reco rded their f irst w in of

1986 in a dif f icult match

against the W o m e n s

Nat iona l League c h a m p i o n s

Potters Bar Lad ies .

T h e return of A n d y

L a n g m a n to midf ie ld to ld in

our fo l low ing match aga ins t

Se lwor th wh i ch Imperial

won 10-7. A l t hough stil l not

100% fit our p layers

con t ro l led most of the

possess ion dur ing the

game. However defens ive

errors a l lowed several goa l s

against us, mis takes wh i ch

were not in ev idence in

D e c e m b e r when Imperial 's

mark ing was made t ighter.

Last Fr iday saw the

return of Steve Davis after

prot racted g landu lar fever

and his two goa ls ear ly in

the first quarter cont r ibu ted

to our unfor tunate win

against a less fit Avonda le

s ide. A l t h o u g h the g a m e

was quite s l owpace d

Imperial 's de fence seemed

m u c h safer with stalwort

work f rom J o h n s t o n and

Eas tman . Pass ing a lso was

qu i cke r and more accura te

in the midf ie ld with good

work in par t icu lar f rom

Paul R i c h a r d s o n a l though

he stil l cou ld use faster and

more accura te serv ice f rom

his w ingers Wi l l iams and

Ireland.

Cross

Country

The latest L o n d o n C o l l e g e s

League race was held on a

bu i ld ing site somewhere

near Sur rey Univers i ty .

Hav ing home advantage,

Sur rey managed to run out

their stars, and hence

c l o s e d the gap on us at the

top of the League . Th is was

despi te a good run by

Bryan G a m b l i n , exce l l i ng in

his natural habitat of knee-

deep mud .

Kee le was this year 's

venue for the B S S F

C h a m p i o n s h i p s . The team

arr ived more or less intact

due to the exce l len t dr iv ing

of J o n , 'was that a br idge '

Lea . IC prov ided half the

L o n d o n Univers i ty team,

wh ich f in ished a cred i tab le

5th in B U S F , whi le the

co l l ege team c a m e 15th in

U A U , boosted by a rare

appea rence of little Mike (is

that the right way round?)

Ba l l . Fur ther enter ta inment

was prov ided on the return

journey when a new

method of w indsc reen

c lean ing (or was it a novel

type of c i rcu i t t raining) was

tried by h is ho l iness P o p e

J o h n .

12 Friday 21 February FELIX

Five-a-side

A l t h o u g h reel ing f rom

sensa t iona l tab lo id

d i s c l o s u r e s a l l eg ing that

four of the IC s q u a d had

been f ound v a n q u i s h i n g in

the gutter ou ts ide D u r h a m ' s

t rendiest n igh t - c lub , c o a c h

R o b C l a r k e ' s foo tba l l i ng

el i te sti l l m a n a g e d to

s tumb le their way to the

semi - f ina ls of last S u n d a y ' s

tournament , before

admi t t ing defeat in o rder to

ca tch the last t rain h o m e .

H a n g o v e r s were l ifted

ear ly on as Dave L y n n e

main ta in ing a s c o r i n g run

w h i c h had begun the

.p rev ious night , put IC

ahead in the o p e n i n g g roup

game v B rad fo rd . H o p e s of

a g o o d start were d a s h e d ,

however w h e n B rad fo rd

equa l i sed with the last k ick

of the game ; the h e a d a c h e s

and dry mou ths s o o n

re turned.

U W I S T proved a t ough

nut to c rack in the s e c o n d

g a m e , as c h a n c e s c a m e

and went, a n d ano ther

s ta lemate s e e m e d l ikely

when t ragedy s t ruck.

E n g b e r g was harsh ly

ad judged to have

e n c r o a c h e d into his own

a rea , a n d the resul tant

penal ty , c l i n i ca l l y

d e s p a t c h e d , p l unged IC

deep into a c r is is .

Fear ing his job was on

the l ine, R o b C l a r k e

p ressed the pan i c but ton

and rang the c h a n g e s ,

d r o p p i n g t o p - s c o r e r L y n n e

and the eve r -popu la r but

s t range ly leg-weary (?!)

G o l d s w o r t h y for the f inal

g r o u p ma tch . His

con t rovers ia l moves l ooked

to be v ind ica ted w h e n A lex

L u n g h i f i red h o m e a beauty

on ly for the p ressures of

m anagem en t to return as

No t t i ngham equa l i sed

aga ins t the run of p lay.

Wi th the title s l i pp ing away ,

IC's t ravel l ing suppor t

tu rned sp i te fu l ly on the

be leagured C l a r k e , and

ca l l s for h is head g rew

dea fen ing . E n g b e r g

rea l is ing his manage rs '

despera te pl ight ,

b l u d g e o n e d his way

th rough three tack les , a n d

wi th the referee's whis t le

p o i s e d for ac t i on , c r a s h e d

the ball into the roof of the

net for a sensa t iona l

w inner .

S n e a k i n g th rough one

g o a l d i f fe rence, IC were

pa i red with B i r m i n g h a m in

the quar ter - f ina ls . A n ashen

faced B a r n e s kept h is

p lace , m u c h to the d isgus t

of the sti l l axed

G o l d s w o r t h y , a l t hough

L y n n e was res tored to add

s o m e m u c h needed c h a r m

to the f ront l ine. T w o qu i ck

goa l s f rom our latter day

R o m e o ki l led the tie as a

spec tac le and the

enter ta inment va lue w a s

not a ided by the 2nd half

a p p e a r a n c e of s topper

C l a r k e in o rder to protect

the p rec i ous lead. Wi th

on ly h o m e favour i tes

D u r h a m now s tand ing

between IC a n d a cove ted

f inal spot , the talk was of

g lo ry a n d meda ls a n d beer

unti l it was d i scove red that

ano ther w in wou ld mean a

n ight on the s n o w - c o v e r e d

c o b b l e s of T y n e s i d e .

C o m m o n sense preva i led

and the O x b r i d g e rejects

were gi f ted a c o u p l e of

s imp le s t r ikes, thereby

hand ing L o u g h b o r o u g h an

eas ie r than expec ted r ide in

the f ina l . T h e Spor t s

sc ien t i s ts were no doub t

re l ieved that thei r mos t

d a n g e r o u s o p p o n e n t s had

by that t ime boa rded the

6.37 to L o n d o n K ing ' s

C r o s s , safe in tne

k n o w l e d g e that the

inhab i tants of D u r h a m were1

g lad to see the back of :

them.

Boat

Henley Fours Head

Imperial C o l l e g e Boat C l u b

p i cked up ano the r two w ins

at the w e e k e n d a n d were

c l o s e to w inn ing severa l

o ther d i v i s ions . T h e El i te

c o x e d four hav ing b roken

their f in a n d rudder on the

way to the start requ i red

Bi l l M a s o n to make hasty

repairs Desp i te th is and

star t ing out of pos i t ion they

won their d i v i s ion weav ing

their way th rough many

s lower c rews . T h e other

w in c a m e for the sen io r A

C o x l e s s four. Bo th S e n i o r

B c o x l e s s a n d N o v i c e

c o x e d fou rs c a m e s e c o n d

in their d i v i s ions .

T h e overal l pos i t ion of the

top two c r e w s is most

e n c o u r a g i n g as they were

on ly beaten by a L e a n d e r

c rew rac ing on the h o m e

water.

o

Sports Centre

Are you making the most use

of the Sports Centre?

It m a k e s a n ice c h a n g e to

wri te about a fac i l i ty for

s tuden ts that has not o n l y

i nc reased its serv ice , but

a lso ma in ta ined the s a m e

s tudent p r i ces s i nce

1983/84! Hope fu l l y , th is

ar t ic le wi l l insp i re more

s tudents at IC to use the

Spor t s Cen t re , a n d thus

ensu re that p r i ces s tay low.

Cur ren t l y it cos t s 30p for a

s tudent to have a s w i m or

use the mu l t i gym. Half an

hou r of s q u a s h cos ts 60p!

Whi ls t these facts may be

k n o w n to m a n y of y o u , y o u

may not be aware that:

• T h e Spor t s C e n t r e is fu l ly

o p e n on S u n d a y m o r n i n g s

f rom 9.00-12.30, ( recent ly

there have been empty

s q u a s h cour ts ! )

• T h e r e is ear ly m o r n i n g

s w i m m i n g f rom 7.30-8.30

on W e d n e s d a y morn ings .

P l e a s e con tac t the S p o r t s

C e n t r e staff if y o u want any

fur ther in fo rmat ion .

Season Tickets

Studen t S e a s o n T i c k e t s

cos t £7.50 and on ly £5.00 if

y o u are a m e m b e r of a c l u b

that uses the Spo r t s

Cen t re . ( N B m e m b e r s of

c l u b s s u c h as s q u a s h ,

s w i m m i n g and water po lo ,

c a n o e a n d Ri f le a n d P is to l

are reminded that they

mus t e i ther have a s e a s o n

t icket o r pay en t rance every

t ime they use the S p o r t s

Cen t re ) .

Weights Club free

weights Wednesday only

T h e IC We igh ts C u b now

has 80 m e m b e r s , but is not

represented by any o f f icers !

T h e We igh ts C l u b urgent ly

needs a C a p t a i n to

represent them on the

A C C .

Unt i l the We igh ts C l u b

gets o rgan i sed it is on ly

poss ib l e to reserve the Free

We igh ts R o o m in S o u t h s i d e

for T h e We igh ts C l u b on

W e d n e s d a y s f rom 11.30am

o n w a r d s , (start ing 26

February ) .

C o u l d a representat ive

(Cap ta in? ) of the We igh ts

C l u b p lease con tac t Pau l

D u b e n s k i v ia the U n i o n

Of f i ce or M e c h E n g 4, to

d i s c u s s h o w We igh ts C l u b

w ishes to con t i nue . O n c e

o rgan i sed the c l u b s h o u l d

be ab le to reserve extra

sess i on in both the Free

We igh ts R o o m a n d the

Spo r t s Cen t re Mul t i G y m .

FELIX Friday 21 February 13

1930h Physics LT1

Wellsoc Talk. Harry

Fairbrother gives a pract ical

gu ide to t ime and space

travel. Free to members .

53 Prince's Gate

Opsoc Easter Auditions.

Eve Southside Bar

Lowenbrau on draught

55p/pint plus chance to win a

Lowenbrau stein.

1 9 3 0 h

Concert Hall

Princess Ida by Gi lber t and

Sul l i van. O p s o c ' s annual

show. G o and see a qual i ty

per formance. Tickets:£2.50

(£2.00)

Eve Southside Bar

Disco

1015h Sainsbury's

Sainsbury 's still sell Sou th

Af r ican goods . Help the

campa ign to change their-

minds. Organ ised by IC and

Earl 's Cour t Ant i -Apar the id

G r o u p s .

1930h Concert Hall

Princess Ida by Gi lber t and

Sul l i van. Qual i ty

Per fo rmance.

1030h Concert Hall

Opsoc Clearing-Up. A s many people as can make it please.

1100h G r e a f Hall

Choir Rehearsal for Mahler 2.

A n y o n e welcome—just c o m e

a long .

1800h More House, 53 Cromwell

Road

Mass fo l lowed by bar supper

and talk — 'Women and

Minist ry ' — by S R

Hannah ,Soc ie t y of St

Franc is .

1230h Union Snack Bar

RAS Brewery Trip to Greene

K ing Brewery .Contac t J

Varga Phys i cs 3. T icke ts £3.

1330h 616A, Met & Mat Sci

Pakistan Society General

Meeting.

1430h * Upper Lounge

Fight Choreography. A

specia l workshop by

Dramsoc on all aspec ts of

stage f ight ing. A l l we lcome

1830h

County Hall

SDI Organ ised by Eng ineers

For Nuc lear D isarmament

Great Hall

Orchestra Dress Rehearsal

for Mahler 's 2nd S y m p h o n y

with cho i r

1200h ULU, Manning Hall

Working for a future. An

alternative careers fair

(organised by U L U Green

Group ) .

1245h Jazz Room

Big Band Practise. A l l

we lcome.

1300h Stans Lounge

Windsurfing Easter Trip.

Meet ing to take names and

f inal ise plans for trip to the

Gower (22nd-30th March) .

Pr ice of trip approx £30.

1315h Read LT, Sherfield

Humanities Debate on South

Af r ican sanct ions. Free to al l .

1800h

Union SCR

Wine Tasting. Don't forget

this week's event. T icket

ho lders only.

1930h

53 Prince's Gate

Opsoc Chorus Rehearsal. A l l

we lcome.

1230h Huxley 413

Methsoc T h e Wor ld

Wor ldwide ' led by Rev

Stewart Morr is , who has a

miss ionary posi t ion overseas.

Lunch:50p

1300h Elec Eng 403A

Hunken On Technology T im Hunken (Observer) talks

about Appropr ia te

T ec hno log y and his c locks .

Pippard Theatre

Pheremones. The B i o c h e m

S o c lecture of the year.

1700h

Union Snack Bar

RAS Brewery Trip to Ga tes

Brewery, Por tsmouth .

Con tac t J Va rga P h y s i c s 3.

T ickets £ 4

1830h Prince of Ornage Pub

Balloon Pub Outing.Meet

Souths ide Upper Lounge .

A s one f igment of my

imag ina t ion o n c e sa id to

another " there 's s o d all to

do half way to n o w h e r e " a

c o m m e n t w h i c h s e e m s to

go s o m e w a y toward

s u m m i n g up this point in

the year. A l l the init ial

en thus iasm s e e m s to be

peter ing out as though ts

turn to exam prepara t ion

fo l l owed by s u m m e r

ho l idays or jobs . T h i s is

whe re y o u beg in to s u s s

how apathet ic and bor ing

co l l ege can real ly be. Mos t

of y o u are p robab ly

hang ing a round in you r

o w n little g roups of f r iends,

go ing out to the same sort

of p laces and not bo ther ing

too m u c h about l ook ing for

some th i ng rad ica l l y

d i f ferent—al l fair e n o u g h in

its own way I s u p p o s e .

Fi t t ingly this year 's 'total

hype ' g roup S i c k S i c k

Spu tn i ck , or however y o u

p r o n o u n c e it, have c h o s e n

this t ime to re lease thei r

debut s ing le . Hav ing

a l ready devoted too m u c h

s p a c e to it I'll just say that

it ac tua l ly appears to be

G i o r g i o M o r o n or s o m e o n e

and has a tit le about ' love

miss i les ' w h i c h s e e m s l ike

it might have been p i n c h e d

f rom the spoo f f i lm 'Sp ina l

Tap ' .

If y o u in tend to wri te a

c o l u m n about a l ternat ives

to work, it s e e m s to me y o u

s h o u l d try and unders tand

some th i ng about the

s tudent p s y c h o l o g y .

Pe rsona l l y I must c o n f e s s

I'm stil l s t rugg l ing in this

f ie ld—at the moment th ings

s e e m to run a long the l ines

of ' labs and p rob lem sheets

are so ted ious , bo r ing and

un imag ina t i ve that any o ld

go re mov ie is l ikely to be

more menta l ly s t imu la t ing ' .

In fact the more I th ink

about it the more I c o m e to

the c o n c l u s i o n that the

wors t th ing about C o l l e g e

is that there is an

under l y ing t endancy to

dr ive peop les though ts

away f rom reali ty.

Be fo re I get car r ied away

wi th c o l u m n s about us al l

su f fer ing f rom m a s s menta l

i l lness I th ink I'll sk ip

st ra ight to the point (ca l l ing

y o u r readers a b u n c h of

nut ters is poor h o u s e s ty le

anyway ) .

O c c a s i o n a l l y even the

dul lest underg radua tes c a n

s h o w a potent ia l for

c o n c e r n about greater

th ings than their s tar t ing

sa lary (who wants to

e m p l o y a bor ing yupp ie

eng ineer w h o s e so le

interest is bank ba lance

co l l ec t i ng anyway? ) . Wh i l e

y o u all sit there

comfo r tab l y fo ld ing this

page into a paper dart to

lob at you r poor innocen t

maths lecturer mi l l i ons of

o ther poor i nnocen ts

a round the wor ld are be ing

ter ror ised, pe rsecu ted ,

exp lo i ted and tor tured by

gove rnmen ts less

rest ra ined than ours (and

y o u thought governments

were there to take care of

you) . T h e H u m a n R a c e

learns very s low ly f rom its

mis takes . But opper tun i t ies

to learn f rom his tory

a b o u n d in L o n d o n . O n e of

the best d o c u m e n t a r i e s of

how ty ranny af fects

o rd inary peop le was the

wr i t ing of A n n e Frank w h o

was a v ic t im of a reg ime

w h o s e h i d e o u s n e s s w a s

made un ique f rom many

o thers past and present

ma in ly by the sca le of its

horror . T h e r e is an A n n e

Frank exh ib i t ion at the Ma l l

ga l le r ies , Pa l l Ma l l unti l

M a r c h 2. En t rance is,

appropr ia te ly for the

c i r c u m s t a n c e s of many of

us, free.

W h i l e I'm in a 'se l f -n ih l is t '

m o o d I th ink I'll move on to

mus ic . P u n k may be dead

but that 's no reason to

avo id live g igs where the

e m p h a s i s is on gut

w r e n c h i n g power a n d

v i t r io l ic voca l con to r t i ons

(what a pre tent ious little

phrase) . T h e S w e d i s h

g r o u p Lea ther N u n last

tou red this coun t r y s o m e

years ago wi th T h r o b b i n g

Gr is t le , w h e n they b e c a m e

no to r ious for leav ing a trail

of r iots. T h e y return this

T u e s d a y 25 to play at the

Bu l l & Ga te , Ken t i sh T o w n ,

wi th Z o d i a c M i n d w a r p &

the Love R e a c t i o n . C o s t is

£3 for what s h o u l d be an

O T T g ig .

Hav ing hyped Hal f M a n

Half B i scu i t it wou ld be a

bit hypocr i t i ca l to s lag

them now, espec ia l l y

before I've ac tua l ly heard

all of their new E P , T h e

T r u m p t o n R io ts . But al l the

s a m e N ige l , Ne i l and the

boys appear to be hav ing a

tough t ime fo l l ow ing up

their init ial spark of gen ius .

If y o u want to get in on the

C a m b e r w i c k G r e e n punk

cul t then y o u c a n see them

at D ingwa l l s on T h u r s d a y

27 -pe rsona l l y I th ink it's a

c ruddy little ho le of a c l ub .

In fact, in genera l , I'd m u c h

rather go to a pub venue

than most of the L o n d o n

c l u b s - not on ly is the beer

less l ikely to be expens ive

f izzy water, but at the B u l l

& G a t e for ins tance the

ac tua l room itself is better.

B o u n c e r s f rom the po l i ce

state s c h o o l of a u d i e n c e

sub juga t ion are a b ig put

off at c l u b s too (the wors t

o n e s a lways wear bow t ies

l ike t hose at the C r o y d o n

U n d e r g r o u n d ) . S m a l l pub

g igs can be a g o o d night

out a n d all the g o o d band s

star ted sma l l o n c e . T h e

range is so vast that the

best sugges t i on I c a n make

is to c h e c k the mus i c

papers or T i m e Out . O n e

g i g I'm g o i n g to pe rsona l l y

is T w i c e Bi t ten at the

Pear ly K i n g , B r o m l e y - b y -

B o w , on T h u r s d a y M a r c h

16. Th i s is a very g o o d folk

venue and brews s o m e

exce l len t beer on the

p remises . I've got to be

carefu l not to forget the

un ion bar if I'm ta lk ing

about beer, maybe S e a n

wi l l get s o m e Irish folk

m u s i c for the next

p romot iona l even ing .

Can ' t th ink of any dro l l

t h rowaway quo tes to end

this week 's spe i l , and

anyway they take away all

the se r i ousness . But I've

obse rved that the best f i lms

are a lways mean ing fu l or

s ty l ish and are of ten re-run

at the S c a l a . T h i s al l

app l ies to A p o c a l y p s e N o w

and Dr. S t range love two

f i lms I go to see there

whenever I c a n . Bu t what

puzz les me is w h o goes to

see all the o ld R u s s M e y e r

f l i cks they run l ike 'Benea th

the Va l ley of the Leather

c l ad N y m p h e t s wi th B i g

K n o c k e r s ' . In the w o r d s of

Herber t D. R o s s the little

k n o w n b l ind U S d i rec tor of

the ear ly 70s "I don' t see

what its al l about ".

c

A

P

I

T

A

L

I

D

E

A

S

Bye for now folks.

Hack Race 1 Dave K ings ton , IC Un ion Deputy Pres ident has a n n o u n c e d that he wil l be con tend ing the post of U L U Pres ident . Mr K ings ton bel ieves that he can improve the Un ion ' s s tand ing with the Univers i ty of L o n d o n and the Government .

He is unhappy with the poor image U L U has presented in the past, part icular ly with its response to the Gove rnmen ts green paper, 'Educa t i on in the 1990s'. 'A s tudent body wh i ch doesn' t reason and argue clear ly is a waste of t ime', he added.

M r K ings ton is anx ious to increase the publ ic 's awareness of the p rob lems fac ing students. He feels

that his work in the Genera l

Un ion C o u n c i l and his

exper ience as a sabbat ica l

at IC wi l l s tand h im in good

stead.

IC Wel fare Of f icer Pete

Wi l son will be runn ing for

S c i e n c e and Eng ineer ing

Sena to r at U L U . Mr Wi l son

a ims to encou rage the

b roaden ing of S c i e n c e

cur r icu la , and the

improvement of C o m p u t i n g

and Maths sub -cou rses . He

is a lso very keen to make

the U L U Execu t i ve less

remote for s tudents at

Imperial .

'I have a c loser contact

with 'more ' S c i e n c e and

Eng ineer ing courses than

students of other Co l l eges '

he sa id .

Shattered Between £150-200 of

damage was done when the

w indow of the Sou ths ide

shop was s m a s h e d on

Tuesday even ing. T h e three

peop le conce rned had been

par t ic ipat ing earl ier in the

Gu i l ds ' F ie ld C u p . They

were found immediate ly by

the secur i ty guard , and

were interviewed by Mr

Reeves of C o l l e g e Secur i t y .

O n e of them was suf fer ing

f rom cuts to the face,

hands and leg; al l three

c la imed that they had

sus ta ined these injuries

after s l ipp ing on the steps

in front of the shop and

fal l ing th rough the w indow.

A l t hough Mr Reeves said

he was inc l ined to bel ieve

their story, the secur i ty

guard involved sa id that he

thought the inc ident was

no acc ident , and reported

that as he arr ived on the

scene , he saw the injured

student k ick ing at the

a l ready shattered shop

front. Mr Reeves is

invest igat ing the matter

further. N o one was

avai lable in the G u i l d s '

Of f ice for comment .

Discipline Sec t i ons of the p roposed

new C o l l e g e D isc ip l inary

Regu la t ions were rejected

by I C U C o u n c i l , meet ing

on M o n d a y even ing at the

C o l l e g e F ie ld Stat ion.

S i l w o o d Park.

The draft of the new

regulat ions a l lowed the

penalty imposed on

students found guil i ty of

m isconduc t to be increased

on appeal . Severa l

members of C o u n c i l spoke

out st rongly against

accep t ing this, say ing that

it was 'contrary to natural

just ice' . The present

regulat ions do not a l low

the appeal panel to increase the penalty, on ly to conf i rm or reduce it. T h e new code was drafted by M ichae l Ar thur , former Student Serv i ces Of f icer and now Ass is tant C o l l e g e Secretary .

C o u n c i l amended the draft chang ing the o f fend ing phrase so that the penalty may not be increased on appea l . T h e new regulat ions must be agreed by the Un ion before they can be adopted , so the ob jec t ions are l ikely to be accep ted by the Co l l ege .

tThere wil l be an exh ib i t ion

of d rawings and paint ings

by J o h n Dav idson in the

Conso r t Ga l le ry f rom

T u e s d a y 25th February

unti l Fr iday 21st M a r c h .

T h e exhib i t ion enti t led

The Chamonix Series

conta ins p ic tures f rom the

C h a m o n i x area in the

F rench A l p s .

The exhib i t ion has been

o rgan ised by C o l l e g e

Safety Of f icer Dr G o r d o n

Hargreaves. He desc r ibed

the paint ings as tend ing

towards a 'surreal

interpretat ion' .

Dr Hargreaves co l lec ts

paint ings himself and first

came across Mr Dav idson 's

work at the Art is ts ' Market

in Coven t G a r d e n . Th is

venue, wh i ch no longer

exists, gave unknown

artists the oppor tun i ty to

show their work. Dr

Hargreaves said he tries to

keep the styles and subject

matters of the exh ib i t ions

in C o l l e g e as varied as

poss ib le . He said that they

were usual ly wel l at tended.

No Confidence The Univers i ty of L o n d o n

Un ion avo ided a vote of no

con f idence on T u e s d a y at

Genera l Un ion C o u n c i l .

Roya l Ho l loway and

Bedford New C o l l e g e

Students ' Un ion had

or ig inal ly p roposed the

mot ion. After ta lk ing to the

Execut ive they dec ided to

wi thdraw the mot ion. T h e

U L U const i tu t ion, though,

meant that they were

unable to do this. T h e

Execut ive p roposed an

amendment pra is ing their

per fo rmance. O n a vote,

the amendment was

accep ted . T h e mot ion,

though, was rejected.

At the sam e meet ing an

ant i - rac ism mot ion was

passed a l though an

amendment that wou ld

have resul ted in U L U

adopt ing a 'no platform for

rac ism ' po l icy was rejected.

Hack Race 2 C h r i s Hendy has wi thdrawn

f rom s tand ing for the post

of ICU Pres ident . A t the

t ime of go ing to press J

Mart in Tay lo r and Chr is t ine

Ta ig are the only

contenders for the posi t ion

of Pres ident . R u n n i n g

u n o p p o s e d for Deputy

Pres ident and Honora ry

Secre tary are J a c k i e Pe i r ce

and Dave Co l l ey respect ively. Dave J o n e s and Nige l A tk inson have their names down for the post of F E L I X editor. Papers are up until 5.30pm next Fr iday. A n y o n e interested in runn ing for a sabbat ica l shou ld see one of the present sabbat ica ls as s o o n as poss ib le .

16 Friday 21 February FELIX