If you are reading this, you have likely recently experienced the death of someone you know. Please accept our condolences for your loss.

While we all understand death as a natural part of life, how we react to a death of someone we know can vary widely. The purpose of this guide is to provide you with information on the range of reactions you might experience and tips on how to care for yourself.

• Talk to othersaboutyourfeelingsandreactions.Thiswillhelprelieveyourstressandhelpyourealizethatyourfeelingsareoftensharedbyothers.

• Accept help from othersinthespiritinwhichitisgiven.• Accept your feelings–whatevertheyare,astypical.Thereisnorightwaytofeel.

• Don’t take personallyotherpeople’sstressreactions–theirreactions(suchasirritabilityoranger)maybedifferentfromyourown.

• Connect regularlywithpeopleyoufindsupportive,suchasfamily,friends,andcoworkers.

The First Step: Recognizing Your Reactions

• Get physical exercise–moderatephysicalexercise,likewalkingorgardening,isthebeststressreduceravailable.

• Maintainaflexible routine–dailyritualscanhelpyoufeel“normal”duringaperiodofcrisis.

• Getplentyofrest–inordertohelpalleviatesleepingproblems,trytogotobedatthesametimeeverynightandwakeupatthesametimeeachmorning.

• Eat regular meals–evenifyoudon’tfeellikeit.• Drink plenty of water.• Remembertocontinue doing some of the things you enjoyorthatbringyoucomfort.

• Keep a journal –writingyourreactionscanhelpyougetthroughsleeplessnightsandotheranxioustimes.

• Knowthatrecurringthoughts and dreams are normal.• Avoid making major life-changing decisionsunrelatedtothisevent.• Nurtureyourspiritual life.

Caring for Yourself

Physical Sensations:• Hollownessinstomach• Tightnessinthechest• Tightnessinthethroat• Oversensitivitytonoise• Senseofdepersonalization (“Idon’tfeelreal,”“Idon’tfeellikemyself ”)

• Shortnessofbreath• Weaknessinthemuscles• Lackofenergy• Drymouth

Feelings:• Sadness• Anger• Guilt(worriesaboutnotbeingniceenough,etc.)

• Anxiety• Loneliness• Helplessness• Shock• Yearningfortheperson• Liberated(ifthepersonwhodiedwasparticularlydifficult)

• Relief(oftenaccompaniedbyguilt)

• Numbness

Thoughts:• Disbelief• Confusion• Preoccupation• Senseoftheperson’spresence• Dreamsofthepersonwelost• Hallucinations(seeingorhear-ingthepersonyoulost–usuallyfleetingexperienceswithinthefirstfewweeks)

Behaviors:• Sleepproblems• Appetitechanges• Absentmindedness• Socialwithdrawal• Avoidingreminders(placesorthings)

• Searching,callingout(eitherverballyorinthoughts)

• Sighing• Restlessoveractivity• Crying• Visitingplacesorcarryingobjectsthatremindyouofthepersonlost

• Treasuringobjectsthatbelongedtothatperson

Typical/Expected Reactions to a Death

Spiritual/Meaning-Making:• Challengingyourbeliefsystem• QuestioningwhyGodletthishappen

• Shatteredassumptions• Self-doubtaboutyourwork• Feeling“burnt-out”

Staffisavailable24hoursaday,7daysaweektohelpcommunities,schools,organizations,orbusinessesrecoverfromtheoverwhelmingstresscausedbytraumaticeventsbyprovidingcommunityoutreach,consultation,andcounseling.Traumaticeventsincludehomicides,suicides,naturaldisasters,seriousaccidents,orothersuddenloss.

How Can Riverside Trauma Center Help You?

Forhelpafteratraumaticevent,call1-888-851-2451,24hoursaday,7daysaweek,andasktospeaktoaTraumaCenterManager.Wewillprovideimmediateassessment,consultation,orsupportasneeded.Specializedtrainingandconsultationarealsoavailable.

Contact Us

www.riversidetraumacenter.org

Tips on Coping: How We React to a Death

Ifthefollowingexperiencespersistforalongtime(severalweekstoafewmonths)orcausesignificantconcern,seekthesupportofacounselororyourhealthcareprovider:

• Youaresotiredfromnotsleepingatnightthatyouarenotdoingthethingsyounormallywoulddo.

• Youhavelostorgainedasignificantamountofweightduetochangesinyourappetite.

• Younoticeyouhaveturnedtodrinkingmorealcoholthanusualorusingotherdrugsasawaytocope.

When to Consider Seeking Additional Support