Download - Interesting Quotes
DCI, Inc.
“ “ I’m thirty years old, but I I’m thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four read at the thirty-four
year old level.”year old level.” Dana Dana
CarveyCarvey
DCI, Inc.
““My Grandma started walking My Grandma started walking five miles a day when she five miles a day when she was seventy. She’s eighty-was seventy. She’s eighty-
seven now and we don’t seven now and we don’t know where the hell she is.”know where the hell she is.”
Dennis Dennis MillerMiller
DCI, Inc.
““If you are caught on a golf If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even GOD up a 1-iron. Not even GOD
can hit a 1-iron.”can hit a 1-iron.” Lee Lee
TrevinoTrevino
DCI, Inc.
“ “ I’ll Moider Da Bum…”I’ll Moider Da Bum…”
Response from Rocky Response from Rocky Marciano when asked what Marciano when asked what
he thought of William he thought of William ShakespeareShakespeare
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Guys who think too much Guys who think too much about the future end up about the future end up
layin’ on the canvas sayin’ layin’ on the canvas sayin’ “Where am I?”“Where am I?”
George George ForemanForeman
DCI, Inc.
“ “ You make the beds, you do You make the beds, you do the dishes, and then six the dishes, and then six months later you have to months later you have to
start all over again.”start all over again.”
Joan Joan RiversRivers
DCI, Inc.
“ “ I was raised in such a small I was raised in such a small town, the zip code there was town, the zip code there was
E-I-E-I-O.”E-I-E-I-O.”
Will Will RogersRogers
DCI, Inc.
“ “ I was walking down the I was walking down the street wearing glasses when street wearing glasses when
the prescription ran out.”the prescription ran out.”
Steven Steven WrightWright
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Some mornings it just Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather gnaw through the leather
straps.”straps.”
Jim Jim BelushiBelushi
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Always look out for Number Always look out for Number One and be careful not to One and be careful not to
step in Number Two.”step in Number Two.”
Rodney Rodney DangerfieldDangerfield
DCI, Inc.
“ “ We had a quicksand box in We had a quicksand box in our back yard. I was an only our back yard. I was an only
child,…eventually.”child,…eventually.”
Steven Steven WrightWright
DCI, Inc.
“ “ My plastic surgeon told me My plastic surgeon told me my face looked like a my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.”bouquet of elbows.”
Phyllis Phyllis DillerDiller
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Being a friend to somebody you’d Being a friend to somebody you’d
rather be in love with, is like rather be in love with, is like being invited behind the barn to being invited behind the barn to look at the stars, and just lookin’ look at the stars, and just lookin’
at the stars”at the stars”
Will Will RogersRogers
DCI, Inc.
“ “ When Sears comes out with When Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner, a riding vacuum cleaner,
then I’ll clean the house.”then I’ll clean the house.”
Roseanne Roseanne BarrBarr
DCI, Inc.
“ “ I’m not a vegetarian because I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a I love animals; I’m a
vegetarian because I hate vegetarian because I hate plants.”plants.”
A. A. Whitney BrownWhitney Brown
DCI, Inc.
“ “ I had plastic surgery last I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit week. I cut up my credit
cards.” cards.”
Henny Henny YoungmanYoungman
DCI, Inc.
“ “ My wife’s so blond that My wife’s so blond that when I locked my keys in the when I locked my keys in the
car, I had to break the car, I had to break the windshield to get her out.”windshield to get her out.”
Red Red SkeltonSkelton
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Whenever my kids become Whenever my kids become wild and unruly, I use a wild and unruly, I use a nice,safe playpen. When nice,safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb they’re finished, I climb
out.”out.” Erma BombeckErma Bombeck
DCI, Inc.
““My theory of evolution is that My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.”Darwin was adopted.”
Steven Steven WrightWright
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Physics lesson: When the Physics lesson: When the body is submerged in water, body is submerged in water,
the phone rings.”the phone rings.”
Conan Conan O’BrienO’Brien
DCI, Inc.
“ “ I don’t go by ‘the book’. I’ve I don’t go by ‘the book’. I’ve never seen ‘the book’. I never seen ‘the book’. I
don’t know who wrote it. don’t know who wrote it. Until I get my hands on it, I’ll Until I get my hands on it, I’ll
keep on using my common keep on using my common sense”sense”
Bum Bum PhillipsPhillips
DCI, Inc.
“ “ If you shoot at mimes, do If you shoot at mimes, do you need a silencer?”you need a silencer?”
Steven Steven WrightWright
DCI, Inc.
“ “ You know you’re getting old You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your when you stoop to tie your
shoes and wonder what else shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re you can do while you’re
down there.”down there.”
George George BurnsBurns
DCI, Inc.
“ “ I’ve never met a slender, I’ve never met a slender, pretty girl that I didn’t want pretty girl that I didn’t want
to punch.”to punch.”
Rosie Rosie O’DonnellO’Donnell
DCI, Inc.
“ “ It is better to be a widow’s It is better to be a widow’s second husband than her second husband than her
first.”first.”
Larry KingLarry King
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Marriage is like a fiddle: the Marriage is like a fiddle: the strings are there whether strings are there whether
the music’s playin’ or not.”the music’s playin’ or not.”
Roy ClarkRoy Clark
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Oh well, half of one, six Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other.”dozen of the other.”
Joe Joe GaragiolaGaragiola
DCI, Inc.
“ “ Some guy hit my fender, and Some guy hit my fender, and I said to him, “Be fruitful I said to him, “Be fruitful and multiply”, but not in and multiply”, but not in
those words.”those words.”
Woody Woody AllenAllen