![Page 1: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who Bounce Back
From Problems
Ian Manion, Ph.D., C.Psych.
![Page 2: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
![Page 3: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
Why Child and Youth Mental Health?
• It’s very common (13-25%) • Not everyone gets help (only 1 in 6 access
services) • 70% of adults with a mental illness indicate that it
started before they were 18 (50% before 14) • Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in ages
16-24 (Statistics Canada, 2002) • If one mental health disorder is present, more
than likely there will be other problems present (45% have more than 1)
![Page 4: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
“The fact is that mental health goes
beyond health care services. No major
public health threat has ever been
reversed by treating people one-on one
after it has already taken hold.”
Rob Santos, 2013
![Page 5: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
Child And Youth Mental Wellbeing Is…
Developing the capacity to:
• Experience, regulate, and express emotions
• Form close interpersonal relationships
• Explore the environment and learn
Child and youth mental wellbeing
= Healthy social and emotional development
![Page 6: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
Resiliency
• Most simply put: resiliency is the ability to bounce back from adversity
• 2 things need to be present: • Adversity
• biological, environmental, … • acute, chronic, episodic
• The ability to overcome adversity and to thrive • Internal resources • External resources
• Best to have a good start but possible to change course at many points
![Page 7: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
50 Years of Resiliency Research Tell Us:
… When the focus is
on supporting and
empowering young people, over 70% of
young people in the
most challenging of
life’s conditions not
only survive but grow
into thriving adults
![Page 8: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
A Model of Mental Health
Keyes, 2003
Minimal mental wellbeing (languishing)
Optimal mental wellbeing (flourishing)
Maximum mental illness
Minimal mental illness
Example: a person who experiences a high level of mental wellbeing despite being diagnosed with a mental illness
Example: a person who has a high level of mental wellbeing and who has no mental illness
Example: a person who has no diagnosable mental illness who has a low level of mental wellbeing
Example: a person experiencing mental illness who has a low level of mental wellbeing
![Page 9: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
Resiliency
![Page 10: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
![Page 11: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
Nine Things All Children Need 1. Structure
2. Consequences 3. Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control 7. A sense of belonging/cultural roots/spirituality/life
purpose 8. Fair and just treatment 9. Physical and psychological safety © Michael Ungar, 2011 www.michaelungar.com
![Page 12: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
The Language of Resiliency
• I HAVE • External supports to developing feelings of safety
• Trusting relationships • Structure and rules at home • Role models • Access to health, education, welfare & security
Grotberg, 1997
![Page 13: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
The Language of Resiliency
• I AM • Internal personal strengths
• Lovable and likeable • Loving, empathic and altruistic • Proud of self • Autonomous and responsible • Filled with hope, faith and trust
Grotberg, 1997
![Page 14: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
The Language of Resiliency
• I CAN • Social and interpersonal skills
• Communicate • Problem solve • Manage feelings and impulses • EQ (assess emotions in self and others) • Seek trusting relationships
Grotberg, 1997
![Page 15: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/15.jpg)
Resiliency Skills We Can Build
+ Empathy
![Page 16: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/16.jpg)
• Help them find their niche
• What are reasonable expectations?
• Needs to be a safe place
• Partnering with the school for resilience • They can be that one caring relationship
• It is not a super-highway
• University versus college versus other
• A great opportunity for engagement
• Get help when it is needed
• Don’t do anything to students but rather with students
The School Piece
![Page 17: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/17.jpg)
![Page 18: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/18.jpg)
Meaningful Youth Engagement
Youth Engagement promotes health and
decreases risk
(Armstrong & Manion, 2007)
![Page 19: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/19.jpg)
What Parents Can Do
![Page 20: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/20.jpg)
Employment Opportunities
One couple to procreate and raise a child. No experience necessary. Applicants must be available 24 hours per day, 7 days peer week, and must provide food, shelter, clothing, and supervision. No training provided. No salary; applicants pay $140,000 over the next 18 years. Accidental applications accepted. Single people may apply but should be prepared for twice the work.
![Page 21: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/21.jpg)
Helicopter Parenting
Bubble Wrapped Kids
![Page 22: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/22.jpg)
![Page 23: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/23.jpg)
Failing Forward
![Page 24: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/24.jpg)
Conversation Starters
• What do you like best about yourself?
• What do you think you do best?
• What would you like people to know about
you?
• What would you like to try to do that you
haven’t had a chance to try?
![Page 25: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/25.jpg)
Parents of children with special needs often experience
greater stress
![Page 26: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/26.jpg)
![Page 27: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/27.jpg)
![Page 28: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/28.jpg)
![Page 29: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/29.jpg)
![Page 30: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/30.jpg)
![Page 31: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/31.jpg)
![Page 32: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/32.jpg)
![Page 33: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/33.jpg)
Helping Them to Find Their Wings
![Page 34: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/34.jpg)
10 Tips for Raising Resilient Kids & Youth
• Don’t accommodate every need • Avoid eliminating all risk • Teach them to problem solve • Teach concrete skills (tailor to upcoming situation) • Avoid why questions (ask how) • Don’t provide all of the answers • Avoid talking in catastrophic terms • Let your kids make mistakes • Help them manage their emotions • Model resiliency
![Page 35: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/35.jpg)
Importance of self care
If We Should Lose Cabin Pressure?
![Page 36: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/36.jpg)
Engagement and Relationships Matter!
“Kids can walk around trouble if there is someplace to walk to and someone to walk with” Tito in Urban Sanctuaries (McLaughlin, Irby & Langman, 1994)
![Page 37: Life’s Tough But So Are You: Building Resilient Kids Who ... · Parent-child connections 4. Lots and lots of nurturing relationships 5. A powerful identity 6. A sense of control](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022050419/5f8e86aec8b3ef7db73bb627/html5/thumbnails/37.jpg)
• Do something that scares you a little bit each day • Promote self-efficacy
• Focus on beauty marks rather than warts • Every young person has strengths
• Develop skills in emotional regulation • Healthy expression not over or under--control
• Learn to fail forward
• Promote relationships (they are the key to everything)
• Promote meaningful engagement in something bigger than your problems
• Develops sense of belonging and meaning
Manion’s Tips to Building Resiliency