![Page 1: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
MANAGING ANXIETY IN THEFAMILY SYSTEM
STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIPDANCE
Rhett Smith, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MDIV, MSMFT)www.rhettsmithcounseling.com
![Page 2: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
Private Practice
![Page 3: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
4 Day Marriage Intensivewww.intensives.com
![Page 4: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
Family
![Page 5: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
FOCUS
1. What is anxiety and how does it affect the family?2. Reimagining the purpose of anxiety.3. Understanding our “dances” -- how we get stuck & unstuck.4. Ideas for staying unstuck.
![Page 6: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
“In business you hear about the 80/20 rule: 80 percent of thebenefit comes from 20 percent of the change. At home I think it’sthe 90/10 rule: 90 percent of the value is brought on by just a 10
percent change.”
Patrick Lencioni
![Page 7: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
“Who we are and how we engage with the world are muchstronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know
about parenting.”
The question isn’t so much “Are you parenting the right way?”, asit is, “Are you the adult you want your child to grow up to be?”
Researcher Brene Brown
![Page 8: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
WHAT IS ANXIETY?
![Page 9: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
Worry
Stress
Concern
Fear
Fight or Flight
Danger
Choice
Possibility
Freedom
![Page 10: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”
Soren Kierkegaard, The Concept of Freedom
![Page 11: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
“A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about futureuncertainties.”
(http://www.thefreedictionary.com/anxiety)
“A state of apprehension and fear resulting from the anticipationof a threatening event or situation.”
(http://www.thefreedictionary.com/anxiety)
![Page 12: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S.,affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older
(18% of the U.S. population).
Anxiety disorders affect one in eight children. Research shows thatuntreated children with anxiety disorders are at higher risk to
perform poorly in school, miss out on important social experiences,and engage in substance abuse.
Anxiety and Depression Association of Americawww.adaa.org
![Page 13: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
“Current data suggest that in the typical congregation of 150members a pastor may expect to find at least twenty people with
anxiety serious enough to qualify clinically as a disorder, plusnumerous others who struggle with the condition in less severe butpainful nonetheless. In a word, pastors regularly encounter anxious
people.”
Allan Hugh Cole Jr., be not anxious,
![Page 14: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
“Surveys have shown that one of the major points of stress forchildren these days is their packed schedules. Our surveys have
found that stress levels among adolescents and teens match thoseof adults. Kids admit to feeling overwhelmed by the quantity of
responsibilities thrust upon them, from homework to sports, musiclessons to church events, household chores to relational
expectations, media intake to hobbies.”
George Barna, Revolutionary Parenting
![Page 15: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/15.jpg)
FAMILIES = EMOTIONAL SYSTEMS
![Page 16: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/16.jpg)
Enmeshed/Fused
Distant/Cut-Off
Differentiated/Boundaried
I You
IYou
I You
![Page 17: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/17.jpg)
“While specific events or issues are often the principal generatorsof acute anxiety, the principal generators of chronic anxiety are
people’s reactions to a disturbance in the balance of arelationship.”
Kerr and Bowen
![Page 18: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/18.jpg)
Shade-SmithGenogram
Susie Ray Shade Jenny Rader Berniece DavisGlenn Smith
BurkeRayJudieMelodee Nancy TimPhil
Rita
Tracie
Rhett
Margie
SarahWyattHeather
HudsonHayden Sawyer
Mark Huey
Marielle HueyDanielle HueyBlake Kimzey
Debbie
Gary Pierce
MatthewHeatherRaymond
Ruthie
m ’45m ‘84’19-’83
breast cancer’19’35
m ’38’16-’81
heart attack’16-’09
m ’65
’43
’43
m ’01
’4017 days
m ‘91 d ’97
’48
’48
’07
m ’05’73 ’75
’10 ’09
m ’07’77 ’76
m ’06
’83’83
’85
m ’73 d ’77 m ’79 d ’94
’47
’52
’54’56’47-’86
breast cancer’50-’01
breast cancer
TX
Mom wasborn in OK
Raised in KS,TX
Dad was bornin AZ
Raised in AZ
Rhett wasborn in TX
Raised in AZ
Heather wasborn in KS
Raised in CA
CA
Grandparents movedfrom M and Settled in
AZ
Grandparents movedfrom MS and Settled in
TX
ThemesBreast Cancer
DivorceEmotional/Physical Cut Off
FaithGeography
FeelingsAbandoned
AloneNot Good Enough
RejectedHope
CopingWithdrawShutdownPass./Agg.Persevere
Risk
![Page 19: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/19.jpg)
MARITAL CONFLICT
“As family tension increases and the spouses get more anxious,each spouse externalizes his or her anxiety into the marital
relationship. Each focuses on what is wrong with the other, eachtries to control the other, and each resists the other’s efforts at
control.”
The Bowen Centerhttp://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/conceptnf.html
![Page 20: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/20.jpg)
FAMILY PROJECTION PROCESS
“(1) the parent focuses on a child out of fear that something iswrong with the child;
(2) the parent interprets the child’s behavior as confirming thefear; and
(3) the parent treats the child as if something is really wrong withthe child.”
The Bowen Centerhttp://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/conceptfpp.html
![Page 21: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/21.jpg)
“The spouses focus their anxieties on one or more of theirchildren. They worry excessively and usually have anidealized or negative view of the child. The more the
parents focus on the child the more the child focuses onthem. He is more reactive than his siblings to the attitudes,
needs, and expectations of the parents. The processundercuts the child’s differentiation from the family andmakes him vulnerable to act out or internalize family
tensions. The child’s anxiety can impair his schoolperformance, social relationships, and even his health.”
The Bowen Centerhttp://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/conceptnf.html
IMPAIRMENT OF ONE OR MORECHILDREN
![Page 22: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/22.jpg)
“A two person system is unstable because it cantolerate little tension before involving a thirdperson...Spreading the tension can stabilize a
system, but nothing gets resolved.”
The Bowen Centerhttp://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/concepttri.html
TRIANGLES
![Page 23: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/23.jpg)
Dad Mom
Son Daughter
Anxiety
AnxietyAnxiety Triangle
BlendedFamily
ANXIETY
![Page 24: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/24.jpg)
Who am I?Identity
What am I to do?Autonomy
How am I to be loved?Belonging
How can I become all that God intended me to be?God’s Story
![Page 25: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/25.jpg)
RE-IMAGINE ANXIETY ASCATALYST FOR GROWTH
![Page 26: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/26.jpg)
“do not be anxious about anything”
Philippians 4:6
![Page 27: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/27.jpg)
What is my anxiety saying to me?
What is my child’s anxiety telling us about thefamily system?
What might God be saying to me in the midstof me anxiousness?
Am I/Is our family avoiding something?
Am I/Is our family refusing to face my/our fears?
How might we grow as a family if we face ouranxiety?
![Page 28: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/28.jpg)
“The healthy individual moves ahead despite the conflict,actualizing his freedom, whereas the unhealthy person retrenches
to a ‘shut-in-condition’ sacrificing his freedom.”
Rollo May, The Meaning of Anxiety
![Page 29: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/29.jpg)
THE DANCES WE DANCE
![Page 30: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/30.jpg)
THE PAIN DANCE
![Page 31: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/31.jpg)
Negative(Feelings/Emotions)
Negative Coping Behaviors
Pain Dance
![Page 32: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/32.jpg)
Worthless, Judged, Unloved, Helpless, Alone, Unwanted, Not GoodEnough, Like a Failure, Unknown, Out of Control, Rejected,
Abandoned
Feelings/Emotions
![Page 33: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/33.jpg)
Withdraw, Shut Down, Negative Beliefs About Myself, BecomeArrogant, Blame, Lie, Avoid, Complain, Criticize, Anger, Judge,
Selfishness, Sarcasm, View Pornography, Drink, Sex, Grudges, Rebel,Anxious, Depressed, Use Drugs, Create Drama
Negative Coping Behaviors
![Page 34: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/34.jpg)
TRUTH DANCE
![Page 35: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/35.jpg)
Our Truth CreatedStrengths
Truth Dance
![Page 36: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/36.jpg)
Loved, Priceless, Treasured, Appreciated, Full of Worth, Accepted,Significant, Precious, Wanted, Respected, Can Make Good Choices,Valuable, Known, Never Alone, Adequate, Celebrated, Encouraged,
Connected, Can Control Self
Truth
![Page 37: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/37.jpg)
Accepting, Supportive, Encouraging, Giving, Welcoming, Kind, Gentle,Good Listener, Humble, Includes Others, Patient, Forgiving, Open &Vulnerable, Caring, Peaceful, Seeking Good, Merciful, Loving, Values
Self, Positive, Joyful, Shows Compassionate, Hopeful, Respectful,Responsible, Trustworthy, Honest, Reliable, Self-Controlled, Turn from
Addictive Behaviors
Strengths
![Page 38: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/38.jpg)
Identify Feelings & Negative Coping
Identify Truth & Connect ToStrengths
AloneUnloved
WorthlessUnwanted
Can’t Measure Up
AngryWithdraw
Passive-AggressiveNumb Out
Critical
AdequateLoved
WantedGod’s Son/Daughter
Worthy
CompassionateGivingLoving
FunEncouraging
“old self”
“new self”
![Page 39: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/39.jpg)
You were taught with regard to your former way oflife, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted
by its deceitful desires; to be made new in theattitude of your minds; and to put on the new self,created to be like God in true righteousness and
holiness.
Ephesians 4:22-24
![Page 40: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/40.jpg)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation hascome: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17
![Page 41: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/41.jpg)
PRACTICES TO LIVE OUT OFTHE NEW DANCE
![Page 42: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/42.jpg)
MINDFULNESS
![Page 43: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/43.jpg)
“the trait of staying aware of (paying close attention to) yourresponsibilities.”
http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=mindfulness
![Page 44: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/44.jpg)
Spotlight Exercise
![Page 45: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/45.jpg)
SELF-CARE
![Page 46: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/46.jpg)
“The process of managing responses to stressors. Self-care includeswhat we know about ourselves, our resources, and our behaviors.”
http://www.mrmnursingtheory.org/definitions.html
“One’s understanding and behavior that helps to build a healthybody, mind and spirit for himself and others.”
http://www.relaxyourlifenow.com/glossary/
![Page 47: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/47.jpg)
“And Jesus grew in wisdom (mental) and stature (physical), and infavor with God (spiritual) and man (relational).”
Luke 2:52
![Page 48: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/48.jpg)
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart andwith all your soul and with all your strength and with all your
mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Luke 10:27
![Page 49: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/49.jpg)
HEART SOUL STRENGTH MIND
(Relational) (Spiritual) (Physical) (Mental)
Date Nightw/spouse
Coffee w/friend
Prayer
Listeningto God
Running
Healthy diet
Book Club
Take a class
![Page 50: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/50.jpg)
BOUNDARIES
![Page 51: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/51.jpg)
“Self-Differentation (a term coined by family therapy pioneer,Murray Bowen) is a progressive, internal interplay betweenautonomy (separation) and connection (togetherness) while
progressing toward developing and known goals.”
Rod Smithwww.difficultrelationships.com
![Page 52: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/52.jpg)
SELF-SOOTHE
![Page 53: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/53.jpg)
emotional self-regulation = “the set of processes involved ininitiating, maintaining and modulating emotional responsiveness,
both positive and negative.”
Wendy S. Grolinick, et al
![Page 54: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/54.jpg)
Breathing
![Page 55: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/55.jpg)
SEEK HELP
![Page 56: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/56.jpg)
CONTACT
Website: rhettsmithcounseling.com
Blog: rhettsmith.com
Facebook: facebook.com/marriageandfamilytherapy
Twitter: twitter.com/rhetter
Pinterest: pinterest.com/rhettsmith
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/rhettsmith
![Page 57: MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEMs3.amazonaws.com/ibcmedia/media/docs/RhettSmith_slides...MANAGING ANXIETY IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM STRATEGIES FOR CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP DANCE Rhett](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042409/5f255346fb7e9d6bd368e9cb/html5/thumbnails/57.jpg)
March 2012 May 2013