Download - Nurse Ann Wood - Valerie K. Nelson
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Nurse Ann Wood - Valerie K. Nelson
CHAPTER ONE
ANSWER me! Why are you impersonating my daughter Anne? Who are
you? Did shesend you down here? Ann moved her dark head uneasily
as the woman shook her arm. She had a harsh voice and Ann wished
she would go away. She knew she was in hospital, in a private room,
but it hurt her head when she tried to think why she was there. It was
far easier to lie there languidly and not worry about anything.
Usually, she didnt take much notice of the people who came to her
bedside. There was Sister, in her muslin cap and strings, who was kind
and efficient, and a staff nurse who was inclined to be sharp-tongued.
The junior nurses called her Stiffy and giggled about her, behind her
back, though one of the first-year girls seemed to be terrified of her.
There was another first-year girl who wasnt afraid of anybody. She was
little and dark and there was a Welsh lilt in her voice. She was very kind
and her hands when she washed your face and combed your hair were
very gentle.
Sometimes there were the masculine faces of doctors a middle-aged
one, and more frequently, a younger one, fair and quite good-looking.
But they didnt interest her.
The only face that could have sparked her into vivid, pulsating life never
came. Perhaps it had been a dream that face with the keen light
eyes, eyes that had challenged her and brought the color stinging to her
cheeks. His voice had been stimulating and encouraging. If he had
spoken to her again, she wouldnt still be lying here in this dim twilight.
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She hadnt dreamed this womans face, though. She had been here
several times before, this woman who was now shaking her arm again,
and repeating, Answer me. Why are you impersonating my daughter
Anne?
Im not, Ann said fretfully. I dont know you. Please stop staring at
me.
And then Sister was in the room, speaking smoothly. Miss Woods is still
very poorly, Mrs. Woods. We mustnt worry her until she is feeling
better. She must have been ill before the accident, you know, very tired
and almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
The strain of nursing, I suppose, the woman with the harsh voice
replied. Why she chose that profession, I could never understand ... I
...
Their voices receded, and again Anns dark head sank back into the
pillow. She ought to try to get well. Just lying here drifting wouldnt ... If
only ... if only ... No, she didnt want to bother...
Downstairs in the S.M.O.s room, Mrs. Woods was sitting near the desk,
while the doctor stared at the file in front of him.We shall have to find
some means of rousing her, he said.
Mrs. Woods stared pensively at the ceiling. A few minutes ago, when
Sister had left her alone with the patient, she had tried something with
just that object in view, but with no results.
Time and time again during the past week, she had been on the verge
of denouncing the girl as an impostor to these hospital people, who
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thought they knew everything, and to that stiff-necked Iain Sherrarde
who had brought the girl here in the first place, but she had always held
back. Perhaps it would be better to wait to see if there was a letter of
explanation from her daughter Anne the real Anne Woods. It must
have been Anne who had sent the girl down here, or how else could
that last letter she had written to her daughter have been in this girls
possession?
I think Ill get in touch with Mr. Sherrarde and ask him to come on, the
S.M.O. went on smoothly, reflecting. After all, it was Sherrarde who hadbrought the girl in, arranged for her to be put into the private wing and
insisted that she should have the best treatment available.
Mr. Sherrarde, repeated Mrs. Woods disapprovingly, and a closed,
withdrawn expression settled on her hard, handsome face.
The doctor ignored it. I was in the casualty ward when your daughter
was brought in. We had been alerted about the train crash, and warned
to prepare for an emergency. As it happened, only a few people needed
treatment, and hospitals nearer the scene of the accident were able to
deal with them, so our services were not required, except for Miss
Woods.
She was conscious, though in a very shocked state. She clung to Mr.
Sherrarde as if he were a lifeline. A lifeline, he repeated thoughtfully.
Indeed, he remained with her for a long time that night when we had
no clue to her identity.
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I see, commented Mrs. Woods, and her expensively gloved fingers
drummed upon her equally expensive bag. I dont remember being told
exactly what did happen that night.
Mr. Sherrarde found Miss Woods wandering in a country lane miles
away from the crash, the doctor explained. She was in one of the
carriages that wasnt damaged, but she probably received a blow on the
head from a piece of falling luggage. Evidently she just ran and ran and
ran until Sherrarde found her in a state of near-collapse. If she saw him
again, she might react sharply...
The others expression was guarded. So far as she was concerned, the
less Iain Sherrarde saw of the girl, the better she would be pleased.
I dont know, she murmured, doubt in her voice.
You want her to get well, to get back to normal? Doctor Lievers tones
held an uncomfortable rasp. He was a busy man. He did not like what
he had seen of the patients mother, and all at once he felt irritable.
Sherrarde had brought the girl in, and had requested that every service
which the hospital could offer should be hers. Yet since that night, more
than a week ago, he hadnt bothered to make an enquiry, nor come to
see her.
Of course I want her to get well. Need you ask? Mrs. Woods
demanded in an indignant voice. But Mr. Sherrarde is so busy. One
hardly likes to take advantage...
It would be a matter of only a few minutes. Once she is roused, she is
not likely to drift back. Ill ring Sherrarde, unless you would rather doso.
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She got to her feet hastily. No, Id rather you did.
The minutes ticked away very slowly in the pleasant private room on the
first floor. It was time for lunch and Nurse Elliott was trying to persuadeher patient to take some soup. Just a little ... the tiniest sip...
Ann turned her head away. No, she didnt want it. She wasnt hungry.
She wasnt interested in food.
Youre not interested in anything, are you, my poor sweet? Elliott said
softly. Youre a pretty thing, with your dark curly hair and those lovelyeyes of yours. There must be some men or one particular man in
your life. But theres no engagement ring ... no ring at all.
She took the tray, its contents almost untouched, out of the room, and
Sister, meeting her in the corridor, stopped her and took the covers off
the dishes. This wont do, nurse, she saidbriskly. Ill go in myself this
evening when she is having her meal.
But before dinner was served that night, something else had happened
in the pleasant private room.
Quite early in the evening a big grey saloon car drew up in the quiet
road at one side of the hospital and a tall man got out. A few minutes
later he was asking for the S. M. O. by name, and a little later still he
was sitting in the chair where Mrs. Woods had sat earlier that day.
You know, Lievers, I have no connection with this girl, whatever you
may have assumed,Iain Sherrarde said with a frown. When I brought
her in here, I hadnt the faintest idea who she was. I was astonished
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when I learned later that she was the sister of Mrs. Derhart, the widow
of my ward, Raymond Derhart.
The other man nodded, his eyes veiled. There was no mistaking thedistaste in Sherrardes voice. Of course, everybody in this part of the
world knew that Ray Derhart, heir to a large banking fortune, had
married some obscure actress entirely against his familys wishes. He
had died a few months ago in a motor accident in which his wife had
escaped with her life, but not without serious injury. And this girl, who
was his patient and suffering from loss of memory, was young Mrs.Derharts sister. Thered been bad feeling at the start of the marriage,
and presumably it still continued. But that was no affair of the S.M.O.s.
The girl is making no progress, he said firmly. She wont eat and she
is completely uninterested in everything. She had obviously already
experienced a severe emotional shock before the railway accident. When
you brought her here, you will remember that she clung to you as if you
were the only solid thing in a fluid world. I believe that if we confront
her again with that forgive the phrase solid thing, she may be
roused sufficiently to take a grasp on life. Otherwise, were going to lose
her.
Its as serious as that? Sherrarde had walked over to the window, so
Lievers could not read anything on his face. All right, Ill go up and see
her. She probably wont remember me...
He could still recall her, though. The feel of her soft hands as they had
clung to his ... the dark silk of her long eyelashes as they lay on her
rounded cheeks. And when that silk veiling was lifted, those astonishing
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eyes of hers of the uncommon shade of lavender flowers in the light,
but which in the shadows had seemed a deeper shade, almost violet...
She had clung to him, and something had stirred for the first time in hisheart a protective tenderness for a woman. Her voice, soft and
appealing, with a kind of huskiness, had seemed to promise
enchantment.
And for all his distaste and disillusion when he had discovered her
identity, he hadnt been able to eradicate her from his thoughts. An
impatient expression crossed his face. He had acted like a fool that
night, and he was still acting like one.
Ill go up and see the girl, he repeated arrogantly.
The S.M.O. was neither amused nor irritated by his manner, as a
stranger might have been.
After all, most of the hospital in which they stood had been built by this
mans family of millionaire bankers. And in any case Sherrarde was
eminent in the medical world in his own right. At an age when most men
were still climbing, he stood at the top of his own branch of the
profession.
Impatience was beginning to dawn in those fine, grey eyes, and Lievers
said quickly, Will youcome this way then, please, Mr. Sherrarde?
Some minutes later the girl who lay so quietly in the pleasant first-floor
room heard the door open. Her eyes were closed, though she wasnt
asleep. She had been resting quite peacefully, feeling as though
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suspended in a kind of dim twilight. Yet it wasnt approaching night-
time.
When she had opened her eyes a minute or two ago she had seen thatthere was the yellow glow of sunshine in the room. But she wasnt
interested in the sun. She wasnt interested in anything ... ever ... any
more.
Then she felt a hand touch her shoulder. Miss Woods, a voice said
persuasively. MissWoods, open your eyes.
She made an effort and closed her lids a little tighter. It was the doctor
the older man with the deep voice. When he came, he always looked
at her so searchingly. Why did he put an son the end of her name?
Her name was Wood, not Woods. That thought was like a lightning flash
and then it had gone. She didnt want to think ... it hurt.
Miss Woods. The deep voice was still persuasive. Miss Woods, come,
theres a good girl.Open your eyes.
Her lids were not so tightly closed now, but the dark lashes still lay softly
on her white cheeks like soft silk fans.
Shall I try, doctor? That was Sisters voice, cooing and soft, as it
always was when she stood by the bedside. Odd that, when all the
nurses went in such awe of her.
Sister will be here in a minute, Nurse Elliott would say, and her pretty
face would be all tense and anxious.
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If you dont try to eat a little more, darling, the tall thin Irish nurse
would say, I shall have to fetch Sister. And her voice would fall to a
whisper as if she couldnt think of anything more dire to threaten.
But Sisters smile for the patient in this pleasant private room was
always very bright, and her voice soft and persuasive as now, when she
urged, Miss Woods, please open your eyes. Theres a visitor for you.
Come along... Those dark silky lashes lying so softly on the white
cheeks fluttered, and then, with a little shiver, the patient again closed
her eyes as tightly as she could.
It would be that woman with the smart hats ... She seemed to wear a
new one every time she came. Sometimes they werent really very
becoming, though they were always fashionable and they looked very
expensive. She didnt like the woman; her eyes were cold and hard. She
had said ... she had said...
The tightly closed eyelids relaxed a little. It was too much of an effort to
keep them like that.
Oh, why didnt they leave her alone, to float so dreamily in this grey
twilight ... to think of nothing ... just to go on floating ... floating ... right
away...
Let me try. It was as if the words had an electric current behind
them. He had shouted them out at the top of his voice ... but no, he
hadnt. His voice wasnt very loud, but it was magnetic. It had also, at
some time or other, been amused and then concerned ... and he had
called her little lost girl.
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But she had been dreaming then. He had never come again, so she had
known that she must have been dreaming.
He had given her such a wonderful sense of assurance as if when hewere there nothing could go wrong. He had seemed like a spar to cling
to when she was alone on a wide sea of bewilderment. No, a spar
moved, and he was fixed, solid ... more like a rock that big, dark man
with his keen light eyes and his lazy, amused smile. Odd that she should
dream about him, when no one else ever came into that grey twilight in
which she floated. Because it wasa dream ... that magnetic voice...
A faint smile curved her pale lips, and the dark silk fans of her lashes
fluttered a little. It was a pleasant dream. She would like to go on.
Then came another shock. If you persist in being the sleeping beauty,
someone will have to be the prince, a deep voice said.
She couldnt be dreaming. It was hisvoice, with that undercurrent of
tender amusement which she remembered so well. The silky black
eyelashes flew up and, wide-eyed, stared at the little group standing
about her bed.
She had seen the doctor and Sister often enough and her glance
flickered quickly over them, to fix itself on the third person, that tall,
broad-shouldered, rock-like man to whom she had clung ... oh, so long
ago that it seemed to be in some other existence. He had come to her in
the darkness ... when she had believed she was completely alone in the
world.
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You told me not to be afraid, she said, in a whisper. You said you
were there and I must hold on to you, whatever happened. But you
didnt come again, and so I thought you were adream.
He looked down at her, a curious expression on his face. So you were
awake all the time. You heard what I said about the sleeping
beauty?
A faint color stole into her cheeks and she laughed weakly. Yes, I heard
you, and you were much too flattering. At first, I thought I was still
dreaming. Why didnt you come before?
She was greeting him happily, as a friend, this man who had been kind
to her when she needed kindness badly.
I didnt know that you were waiting for me to come before you decided
to get well,Sherrarde remarked rather dryly. But now youre going to
be a sensible young woman, I hope.
Ann nodded her dark head and her voice was childishly eager. Yes, I
feel better already. Will you come to see me every day now? It will be
something nice to look forward to.
Sister interposed briskly. I think Mr. Sherrarde would like to hear you
say that youre going to try to eat all your dinner tonight, Miss Woods.
Thats the way you can thank him for comingto see you.
Doctor Lievers said smilingly, Im sure our patient is going to be most
co-operative from now on. Arent you, Miss Woods?
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Ann turned her wide lovely eyes upon him. It didnt seem to matter
before about getting well, she explained naively. It didnt seem
worthwhile.
The S.M.O. eyed her with a close professional scrutiny, but the tall dark
man at the foot of the bed made an impatient movement. Thats
feeble, he remonstrated. I thought better of you than that, little lost
girl.
A smile flashed across the small pale face, lighting it up. You called me
that before, when you found me. And I believed it was a dream, she
whispered delightedly.
There was all at once an atmosphere of intimacy between them, so that
the other two men were aware of being outside the circle. Doctor
Lievers drew back slightly, looking pleased. His experiment was proving
a success. Sherrarde had provided the stimulus which the patient had
required, and now she had been roused she should make a quick
recovery.
Sisters face in no way reflected the doctors complacency. From the
moment he came into the private wing she had been aware of a
coolness in Mr. Sherrardes manner. Evidently he hadnt liked being
called in in this fashion, and you couldnt really wonder at it now the
patient had proved to be a member of that dreadful family into which
poor Ray Derhart had married.
Sisters lips tightened. What she had seen of Mrs. Woods had disposed
her to think that none of the gossip about her widowed daughter was
exaggerated. A baggage from all accounts, thats what she was, or had
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been till that dreadful accident which had killed her young husband had
made an invalid of her.
Sister stiffened as the doctor stepped forward. I expect youre feelingtired now, Miss Woods, after all this excitement. But first of all, you must
have a really big meal. Sister...
He beckoned her forward and at the same time managed to convey to
Iain Sherrarde that it was time for him to leave. The patients long black
lashes were fluttering.
Youll be here again. You wont be just a dream, she murmured, and
was asleep almost before the sentence was ended.
Outside in the corridor, Lievers nodded in satisfaction. That did the
trick. Im very pleased.
Iain Sherrardes remote look sharpened. Shell be all right now, you
think?
The other nodded. Yes. She may even have forgotten all about you
when she wakes up again. But you were the link between that
nightmare of the crash and the light. Once she found you there again,
she dared to come into the light. If she does remember you, and we tell
her that youve gone to the United States, she will accept that readily.
By the time youre backagain she will probably have left hospital.
Sherrarde said curtly, Dont hurry that ... her leaving hospital, I mean.
Dont hesitate to bring in the best people for consultation. The cost
doesnt matter. Dullanty of Bristol is particularly outstanding in the
psychiatry of amnesia.
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The S.M.O. nodded. I agree, but when she improves physically, I think
the amnesia will disappear without much need for treatment.
Iain Sherrarde turned to Sister and gave her one of his rare, charmingsmiles. Thank you,Sister, for all that youve done, he said.
As he went out to his car, he reflected distastefully that he had better
ring up Mrs. Woods. As soon as her daughter could leave hospital she
should be taken to Fountains to be with her own people.
Her own people! His handsome mouth twisted in a grimace. A goodthing he was going to America. By the time he returned she would be in
her own circle, reflected in their light, and he would be able to see her
as she really must be and not in that soft rosy glow which had, on that
night of their first meeting, placed her apart from any other girl he had
ever met.
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CHAPTER TWO
THE grey, misty twilight no longer had any attraction for Ann. When she
awoke again she opened her eyes immediately and looked at the door.All at once she realized she felt hungry.
She also felt very, very happy. It hadnt been a dream. He was real, that
big man with the keen eyes who had looked at her with concerned
tenderness and held her hands tightly when she had wanted to scream
and scream against that nightmare from which she had run. But she
mustnt think of that any more. It was behind her, and now she was
going forward.
She stared eagerly at the opening door. It was Nurse Elliott with her
wide, beaming smile.
Now, darling, how are you feeling? she asked.
Hungry, returned the patient, in a much stronger voice than anyone
had heard her use till now.
A few minutes later, when she returned to the private wing kitchen,
Nurse Elliott was remarking, not very originally: You could have
knocked me down with a feather! There she was, nearly sitting up of her
own accord and demanding food. I wouldnt have believed it.
Sister, who was supervising special diets, looked at her sharply. More
to the point, nurseis she eating her meal?
Shes taken all her soup, Sister, the nurse replied. I propped her up in
the pillows and she said she could manage, so I thought it was better to
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leave her to eat the second course without my helping her or watching
her. Shell know that shes getting better if she manages it herself.
When the young nurse returned to the pleasant room at the end of thecorridor, the patientsplate was almost empty. Ann smiled at her. Ive
really enjoyed that, nurse. Oh, how pretty!
For the nurse was setting before her an attractive-looking concoction
which disguised a nourishing blend of milk and fruit.
Oh, I ampleased with you, darling, Elliott said exuberantly. My fiancsays Ive got you on my mind. And I had, really. I could see you just
fading away, starving yourself to death.
Of course, we shouldnt have let you do that, she added hastily, but
thats what it keptlooking like to me. Im not a very experienced nurse,
she went on confidentially. Now youvegot your State...
As soon as she had spoken, she put her hand over her mouth and
looked horrified. Oh, Ishouldnt have said that.
Ann, propped up among the pillows, put down her spoon. Oh, have I?
she asked blankly.
How do you know? I dont seem to remember myself.
Nurse Elliotts face continued to register concern. Oh, please forget
what I said, she pleaded. Sister has given me the strictest
instructions...
Nurse Elliott, Ann said smilingly, I want to know about that S.R.N.
certificate. Since Ivebeen here, Ive watched Sister and the staff nurse
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By the time she had plumped up the pillow and straightened the sheet
Anns white lids were beginning to droop and her dark lashes were
almost lying on her thin cheeks.
Yes, perhaps I am, she yawned. Yes, I am tired.
For the time being, she had completely forgotten about all the questions
she had intended asking. Sister, watching her, gave a sigh of relief. It
looked as if this was going to be a plain, straightforward case after all.
The girls memory would no doubt be back to normal next time she
woke up and then it would be only a matter of a day or two before she
was on her feet.
Sister supposed that the relatives would want to have her home
immediately.
As it happened, Sister Private Wing was, in this particular case, over-
optimistic. For the next day, although the patient continued to take a
little more food and was roused from her state of dreamy acquiescence,
she showed no desire to ask questions.
Her face went very white and still when she was told that Iain Sherrarde
was leaving for America that day. She didnt speak of him again for a
day or two, and then, when Nurse Elliott was sitting with her, she
enquired whether he had gone for a long time or even for good.
Goodness, no, the young nurse returned, in surprise. He often goes,
just for short trips. Never for more than ten days or a fortnight.
Ann asked no further questions and Megan plunged into a racy account
of her latest quarrel with her fianc. They were both Welsh, both
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temperamental, and seemed to enjoy quarrelling for the joy of making
up afterwards.
I should like to meet him. He sounds great fun, Ann smiled.
Nurse Elliott rolled her fine eyes. I dont think I would dare risk letting
him meet you ... a pretty thing like you, she replied with laughing
emphasis. It took me quite a long time to manoeuvre into the position
of being first in his thoughts, and Im not willingly putting in front of him
anyone prettier than I am.
Pretty! Am I? That sent the patients thoughts in an entirely different
direction. By moving her head slightly, she could see her reflection in
the mirror of the dressing-table, and now she craned her neck forward
to do so.
Nurse Elliott went quickly across to the dressing-table and picked up the
hand mirror. Have agood look at yourself, she invited.
Anne gazed at the reflection in the mirror as if she had never seen it
before, and indeed she could not recollect having done so.
Why, Im quite plain, she exclaimed in a disappointed voice. Beside the
rounded rosy cheeks and jet black curls of the Welsh girl, she looked
thin and drawn and anaemic.
Plain! ejaculated Megan Elliott. Dont be silly. Youre lovely, with those
big eyes and that white skin. I never saw such eyes. Theyre always
changing color, as the mood takes you, sometimes lavender, sometimes
nearly as deep as violets, and sometimes grey.
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As her patient still continued to regard herself without any expression of
satisfaction, she went on: Dont forget youve been ill. Youre thin,
much too thin, because youve been half starving yourself. Youve got
beautiful bones and eyes. As soon as youre well again, youll see. And
with make-up...
I dont use much make-up. Ann looked at Nurse Elliott, apparently
seeing nothing odd in this recollection this patient who had stood in
Casualty and held out her hands gropingly, her wide eyes apparently
unseeing. Who am I? she had called, agonizingly. Where am I going?I cant remember ... I cant remember ... Its only you whom I know ...
only you. Her big lavender eyes had focused then when she had turned
to Iain Sherrarde, and she had clung desperately to him until her final
collapse.
It was a little later that Doctor Lievers came into Anns room,
accompanied by Sister and another woman. The patient, who was
sitting, propped up with pillows, smiled at them with equal impartiality,
but her eyes flickered slightly when they rested on the handsome,
assured face beneath the fashionable hat.
She is the woman who has been here before several times, thought
Ann. Once, when Sister went out of the room, she shook me and said I
was impersonating her daughter.
That had been during the period of drifting grey twilight from which only
the voice of Iain Sherrarde had aroused her. At the thought of him, a
light came into her eyes. She let her heavy eyelids droop, completely
uninterested in her visitors. She drifted, not back into grey twilight, but
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into a dream that was lovely as the dawn, shot with rose ... the color of
sweet anticipation.
Mrs. Woods stood in a luxurious bedroom with a decor of cream androse, staring at her elder daughter, who was lying among the tumbled
satin cushions of a long couch at the foot of the bed.
Ive just come from the hospital, Beverley, she explained. The girl is
much better, but she doesnt seem to have a clue as to who she is. At
hospital, they still think she is Anne Woods.
Beverley Derhart gave a petulant yawn. But, Mummy, why bother to
go? Why dont you tell the doctor, or the police? For all we know she
may have stolen Annes handbag, and that would explain your letter
being in it.
Mrs. Woods removed her cigarette from her thin, scarlet lips and flicked
away the ash. Ive been waiting for Anne to write. She has left Queen
Fridas Hospital, apparently. I rang up last night. Of all the selfish,
inconsiderable girls!
Beverley laughed. For goodness sake, Mummy, be your age! Why
should Anne come down here for our convenience? Burying herself in
this dead-and-alive hole...
She stopped, her face all at once distorted by angry frustration, and
tears began to well up in her big blue eyes. Mrs. Woods said, in quick
alarm,
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Beverley, please stop. Youll upset yourself, and I shall have to send for
Marchdale, and you know how cross she is today. Darling, do stop
crying.
Her expression was concerned, as she bent over the slim shaking figure.
We shall have to send for the doctor. Youre ill.
No, Im not. With a lightning change of mood, Beverley sat up and
began to mop her eyes.No, Im not ill, or at least no worse than usual.
But Im bored, bored! So bored that I could scream and scream and
scream! If we could go back to London, it wouldnt be so bad.
Sometimes I feel I could murder Iain Sherrarde with his long face about
my having to take great care and his talk about the welfare of the
children.
You know, darling, I believe he keeps you down here because hes in
love with you. All men are Turks at heart, and would like to keep the
women they love behind bars, away from other men. And youre lovelier
now than youve ever been.
Beverleys big blue eyes widened with delight, as she reached for her
hand mirror. Do you really think so, Mummy? It might be fun to have a
love affair with the great H.E. thats what the students at the,
Institute call him ... short for His Excellency. Ive been so busy hating
him because he held the purse strings, but now ... Mummy, youre a
darling. Youve made me feelinterested in life once again.
Secretly, Mrs. Woods had no faith at all in the idea she had just put
before Beverley. Iain Sherrarde was too proud and arrogant to fall in
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love with an ex-showgirl, no matter how lovely. Beverley hadnt been
good enough in his estimation, for his ward, Ray Derhart.
Thank goodness were having a spell of peace while hes in America,she said fervently. Ifonly Anne had answered my S.O.S., the wicked,
selfish girl! With a trained nurse here, he wouldnt interfere half so
much, either with you or the children.
So Mummy, you dont in your innermost heart really believe that Anne
gave that girl your letter and sent her down here?
Mrs. Woods looked despondent. Frankly, she couldn't imagine her
younger daughter taking any such trouble. She wasnt the sort of girl to
be moved either by sentiment or family feeling.
Her thoughts were diverted then, for Marchdale came into the room.
She stared at Beverley, saw the sign of tears and rounded on the older
woman. Shes been crying again. What haveyou been saying to her?
She was a thin, wiry old woman, a distant relative, though no one ever
remembered that now. She had been a theatre dresser in the days when
Mrs. Woods had been a third-rate actress, and when she married had
become her housekeeper and then nurse to the two girls.
She had always been fanatically devoted to Beverley.
Dont be so silly, March, Mrs. Woods replied haughtily. Theres
nothing wrong.
What about a little pick-me-up, my pet? That will soon chase away the
blues, the old woman said softly.
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or doing their lessons, or whatever my lord Iain Sherrarde had laid down
in their timetable.
Oh, how she loathed that man! And though he might be in America,there was always his inquisitive old aunt or his snooty girl friend to spy
for him. Then the same old complaints would go up. The children were
in need of more care and attention than they were getting at Fountains.
They would be much better living with Mr. Sherrardes aunt at Daintys
End.
In other words, thought Mrs. Woods grimly, he wanted the children
taken away from hercare and influence. Then they would grow up not
knowing her, and if Beverley died, as well she might with this heart
trouble, then...
Mrs. Woods clenched her hands. Shed got to stop the children being
taken away from her influence. If only Anne ... But it was no good going
over that again. Anne had trained as a nurse, and you might have
expected tenderness and consideration from her, but instead...
Mrs. Woods recalled the last time she had seen her younger daughter.
She had been wearing uniform, that marvellously attractive uniform of a
Queen Fridas nurse. She was pretty, too. Not so pretty as Beverley, but
very attractive.
Nurse Anne Woods had said, Ive had a hard time for nearly four years.
Nursing is said to be easier now than once it was. The discipline is
supposed not to be quite so rigid ... not quite!
And she had grimaced in a fashion that made her look oddly like hermother. Ive stuck it because I know what I want. I want the same as
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Beverleysecurity for life. Im going all out to find a wealthy husband
one who is getting on in life. My best chance of meeting him is in a
hospital, in one of those expensive clinics, or as a private nurse, when
hes feeling sorry for himself.
Ive got my State and soon I shall have my Queen Fridas certificate.
Then I shall apply for a post in a tiptop clinic. So its no good talking to
me about coming to nurse Beverley or look after the children. Ive got
myself and my future to think about.
Yes, that was how Anne had spoken, and Mrs. Woods realized that she
had been an optimistic fool to write to her again and to hope that she
would change her mind.
And now this other girl had turned up, a girl whom Iain Sherrarde had
accepted as Beverleys sister. He had arranged for her to have a room in
the private wing of the hospital, and because of his interest she was
receiving quite unnecessary attention and fuss, or so Mrs. Woods
considered.
It was really remarkable that he had put himself out for a relative of
hers. And it wasnt as ifhe had approved of Annes coming down here to
look after her sister and the children. Indeed he had been exceedingly
cool about the suggestion.
Mrs. Woods peered out of the window again. She couldnt see those red
flashes now. She hoped to goodness that Miss Pollard, the nursery
governess, was keeping her eye on them, for the busy road lay beyond
the trees.
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Ought she to go out to see that they were all right? No, definitely not.
She was beginning to be obsessed by the safety of the children. Miss
Pollard was paid to do her job and it was useless to be worrying every
moment of the day as to whether she was doing it properly.
An hour later Mrs. Woods left Fountains, driving the small car. She
preferred the big one, but it was not in the garage and she presumed
that Beverley had sent the chauffeur-handyman on some errand into
town. He considered it beneath his dignity to take the little car.
At her bridge club, she was just settling down for a game when she was
called to the telephone.
I thought I might find you at your club, commented the voice at the
other end dryly. I decided it was better to contact you rather than
Beverley. Its the children.
Mrs. Woods taut, slim figure grew rigid, as the speaker went on, they
were racing about, quite unattended, on the main road and you know
what the traffic is like there.
Are they hurt? Mrs. Woods mouth was dry.
No, but they might well have been killed. Mrs. Trederrick, Iain
Sherrardes aunt, was speaking, and of course he would be informed the
moment he arrived back from America about what had happened. And
incidentally, what had happened?
The explanation was soon forthcoming. She might have known it, Mrs.
Woods thought wrathfully.
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Maureen saw them when she was driving along the main road, Mrs.
Trederrick explained coldly. She picked them up and brought them
here. They came very willingly, she concluded, with a significant
emphasis in her voice.
How surprising, Mrs. Woods hit back, but her thin hand was clenched
so that her knuckles shone white. The children were friendly little souls
and would go with anyone who offered them a ride in a car, even the
uppish snob, Doctor Maureen Lyntrope. The only reason she made a
fuss of them was because she was in love with Iain Sherrarde.
And now, at Daintys End, the pair of them the aunt and the girl
friend would be pumping the children for all they were worth to find
out how badly they were being neglected at Fountains.
Mrs. Woods reflected with a wry twist of her thin lips that she had better
go and fetch them back home as quickly as she could. As for that
nursery governess, Miss Pollard, she appeared to have no control over
them whatever. Iain Sherrarde was right about that. She would have to
go.
Someone must be found to replace her, and someone must be found to
keep an eye on Beverley. Now Mrs. Woods faced up squarely to the fact
that had been nagging at her since she left her invalid daughter's room.
Marchdale, in spite of everything the doctor had said, was letting
Beverley have alcohol. That was what had been wrong with her earlier
in the day. Not that she had drunk too much by any ordinary standards,
but what Marchdale and Beverley both seemed unable to realize was
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that since her accident, Beverley couldnt be judged by ordinary
standards.
Half an hour later Mrs. Woods was driving back to Fountains, her eyesglittering furiously, her two grandchildren, subdued and weary, in the
back of the car.
The impertinence of those two women at Daintys End suggesting that
shewas to blame, suggesting that the children were being neglected! It
was no business of theirs anyway. Iain Sherrarde was the childrens
guardian, not his aunt and certainly not Doctor Maureen Lyntrope.
But one thing was quite clear, as far as Mrs. Woods was concerned.
That girl in Sunbury Hospital must be persuaded to come to Fountains
as soon as possible. Once she was here, in her Queen Fridas uniform,
no one at Daintys End would have any grounds for complaint.
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CHAPTER THREE
FOR the first time since the night she had been brought into hospital,
Ann was fully dressed.
The suit she had put on had borne the label of a well-known fashion
house, and she found herself wondering if she had been alone when she
had bought it.
When, a few moments later, Sister and the S.M.O. came into the room,
she gave them a smile of such brilliance that they both thought: What aremarkable recovery! And what a lovely girl!
How are you feeling today, Miss Woods? the doctor enquired.
A complete fraud, she replied promptly. Im quite well, Doctor
Lievers.
Except...
Except that I cant remember a thing about my past life. I cant
remember anything before that dreadful crash.
And youre not to try to remember, he urged her. Sir James Dullanty
who came to see you on Monday believes that in a relaxed atmosphere,
among your own people, your memory will return, either quite suddenly
or gradually. He is not prepared to say which, but he favors your leaving
hospital immediately and going to your own family. But there is an
alternative.
He stared searchingly at the girl, noting that her eyes would no longer
meet his and that her hands were trembling.
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Ann thought dully: That woman ... but she isnt my mother. I cant go to
her home.
An alternative? she murmured.
You can continue to have hospital treatment, the doctor explained. If
you choose that, I think you should go back to London, to Queen Fridas
Hospital, where, as one of their staff, you will be admitted immediately.
He saw the bewilderment in her wide lavender eyes. Whichever
decision you make, remember, it neednt be final. If you go to Fountainsand are not happy there, then we can arrange for you to go to London,
or the other way round.
He and Sister left her eventually, and Ann sat staring down at her
hands. Had she dreamed that Mrs. Woods had stood by her bedside,
shaking her shoulders roughly and demanding to know why she was
impersonating her daughter?
No, that incident hadhappened, she was sure, and what she couldnt
understand was why Mrs. Woods had allowed the mistake in her identity
to continue. In every fibre of her being, she rejected the suggestion that
she and that woman were related in any way. Moreover, her name
wasnt Woods, it was Wood, she decided positively.
So really there wasnt any alternative. The only thing for her to do was
to go back to London, and at Queen Fridas Hospital, on what must be
familiar ground, she might soon recover her memory.
That was the sensible thing, and yet immediately there came into her
mind a strange reluctance. The fact of the matter was that she didnt
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want to go back to Queen Fridas everagain. She didnt know why, but
there was something which she felt she could not face.
And then all at once it seemed clear. If she left Sunbury, she mightnever see Iain Sherrarde again. Only when he had come to her bedside
and roused her from that twilight dream which had threatened to merge
into eternal darkness had she begun to get better. She had wanted to
live, for his sake, because he had taken the trouble to come to her. He
hadcome, so it couldnt be only on her side that feeling of belonging.
He must feel as she did, that something vital had sparked betweenthem.
Increasing vitality was bringing with it increasing curiosity. She had
thought about him often, but had not spoken of him to any of the
nurses who came to talk to her, bring her meals, or make her bed.
She had assumed from the beginning that he was a doctor. After all, he
had brought her into hospital personally. And now something else
occurred to her, something that till now it had never entered her head
to wonder about. She was here, in a room in the private wing of a
hospital and private rooms had to be paid for. Who waspaying?
Ann sat down, feeling all at once very frightened. Suppose ... suppose
Mrs. Woods was footing the bill! But was that remotely likely when she
had accused Ann of impersonating her daughter?
Anns thought went back to Iain Sherrarde. What had made her think he
was a doctor? Stupid of her just to assume it, stupid of her, too, not to
have found out every single thing about him.
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And so, when Nurse Elliott came in with her tea-tray, she began to ply
her with questions.
Nurse Elliott, who did you say brought me into hospital? she enquiredtentatively.
The Welsh girls eyes widened. Cant you remember? she queried, in a
disappointed manner as if her own particular charge was letting her
down.
Ann remembered very well indeed, but she was after information now,and yet at the same time sensitive lest Nurse Elliott should guess
anything of her feelings for Iain Sherrarde.
So she shook her head and looked vague.
I thought Id told you, Nurse Elliott said flatly. It was Mr. Sherrarde.
He was dining out, and had taken a short cut down a country lane. He
said that he almost ran you down. You were wandering along the right
in the middle of the lane. He didnt know about the railway accident
then.
Ann wasnt interested in the railway accident. Mr. Sherrarde, she
repeated. But you said or did I assume?that he was a doctor.
Hes a surgeon, with goodness knows how many letters after his
name, the little dark nurse told her soberly. In a way, hes our local
celebrity. Head of the Sherrarde Institute, with a reputation which
extends to London and even to the United States.
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The Sherrarde Institute, repeated Ann blankly. Something was
nagging slightly inside her mind, as if that was a name she had heard
before, in some other connection.
Its a great laboratory ... a series of laboratories really, on the
Sherrarde estate, given up to research on the rheumatoid diseases,
Nurse Elliott explained, as she went over to the window to straighten the
curtains. Patients come from all over the country. Mr. Sherrarde our
Iainis in charge.
After she had gone, Ann suddenly realized why the Sherrarde Institute
had sounded a familiar note in her mind. She had heard of it at some
time during her training. She was sure of that. It had been perhaps
still was a private foundation, with a great banking fortune behind it.
The founders wife had been crippled by arthritis, and on his death her
husband had left his home as a centre for research. She remembered
somebody talking about it.
Ann went rather soberly over to the dressing-table, sat down, and
examined her face with sombre eyes. It was such an ordinary face, in
spite of all that Elliott had said about her being pretty.
What hope had she that Iain Sherrarde would ever have the slightest
interest in her? A man with all his advantages, when he eventually
married, would choose someone of equal distinction in birth and
upbringing, someone who had poise and beauty.
When he eventually married ... Once again, Anns foot seemed to have
come very near to an abyss. He wasnt a boy ... not even a very youngman. Yet she had assumed from the very first moment of returning
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consciousness of the will to live, when he had called to her strongly
across that twilight sea, commanding her to come back, she had
assumed that he had no ties other than those he had forged with her.
But now common sense told her that he might well be married already,
perhaps with a family. Or if not married, then engaged.
She went back to the little table on which Nurse Elliott had placed her
tray, poured out a cup of tea and drank it thirstily. She couldnt bear to
think of that.
Fortunately for her peace of mind she had the answers to her questions
before she went to sleep, though they came to her in a roundabout and
quite unexpected way.
She was turning over the pages of a magazine some time later, when
the door opened, after a perfunctory knock. Ann turned round eagerly.
It wasnt time for dinner, but Megan Elliott might have found she had a
few moments to spare and come in for a chat.
Anns face changed from glowing welcome to a quiet withdrawal when
she saw who the visitor was.
Mrs. Woods was panting slightly. I came up the emergency stairs, she
said. I didnt really want anyone to know I was here. Doctor Lievers
asked me not to come till you had made up your mind whether youre
going to come home, or go back to London for further treatment.
Ann stared at her, her beautiful eyes very wide. And then she said softly
and with great earnestness, Mrs. Woods, you and I arentrelated, are
we?
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Mrs. Woods sat down abruptly. So you know that, she ejaculated, with
quick, suspicious glance. What else do you know? About yourself, I
mean, and about my family?
Ann shook her head. Nothing at all. I havent the faintest idea who I
am and why I was on that train, or why I had in my handbag a letter
from you addressed to Nurse Anne Woods. I think my name is Ann
Woodno e and no s. When they call me Miss Woods here, I always
have the impulse to say No s at the end, just as if Ive said it often
before. I know Ive trained for nursing and I believe I was at QueenFridas Hospital in London, but... And there, she stopped, not knowing
what to say next.
Mrs. Woods stared at her shrewdly. You could have told the doctors
and nurses here that story and then they would have made enquiries at
Queen Fridas. But theyve done nothing, because everyone believes you
are Anne Woods ... the real Anne Woods ... my daughter.And you have
never denied it.
She leaned forward, her small dark eyes fixed on the girls pale face.
You havent asked for any enquiries to be made, Miss Wood. And I can
only presume its because you dont want them made. You prefer to
wait, to allow your memory to return. If you have lost it!
Ann stared at her with wide eyes that had darkened to violet with fear
and shock. She had lost her memory, but there was some element of
truth in Mrs. Woods challenge. She hadnt tried to convince anybody of
a fact that she had known right from the beginning that whoever she
was, she was not Anne Woods. There was a great dark barrier in her
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mind between the present and that past which lay behind the time of
the railway crash. And it was a barrier which she was afraid to have
broken down.
When she did not speak, the other woman went on quickly, Why dont
you come to Fountains as my daughter? No one here has the slightest
inkling that you are not Anne Woods.
Anns eyes grew darker than ever. But why do you want me, a
stranger, to come to your home?
Because we are desperately in need of someone like you someone
with nursing qualifications. Mrs. Woods paused. Perhaps Id better
explain from the beginning.
Besides my daughter Anne, who is a nurse, there is Beverley, who
married Raymond Derhart of the Derhart and Sherrarde banking
families.
She looked at Ann expectantly, and when she saw the girls eyelashes
flicker, her thin lips twitched. She has no more lost her memory than I
have, she thought grimly. She is running away from somebody or
something. Well, that suits me. I only wish I could find out what it is, so
that I could get a hold over her.
She went on with her explanations of the accident in which Ray Derhart
had been killed, and his wife injured, of the two children, and their large
fortune under the control of a trustee.
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That trustee is Mr. Sherrarde, their fathers cousin. He was the man
who found you wandering about and brought you here. You remember
him, I suppose?
She scanned her listeners face mercilessly, but Ann did not flinch. Mrs.
Woods could read nothing from her downcast eyes and her softly
curving lips.
Yes, I remember him.
I promised Mr. Sherrade that I would persuade my daughter Anne tocome down here and take charge, Mrs. Woods continued gloomily. He
believes, like everybody else, that you areAnne.
She stopped again and then continued jerkily, I appealed to her and
she has failed me. Now I am appealing to you. Please come to Fountains
and help us until your memory comes back.
When it does, you can, if you wish, go back to the life you lived before
the accident. Once again something in Anns mind seemed to rise up
like a solid wall. The life you lived before the accident! No, not that. She
could never go back.
There was a long silence, and then Ann said, If I were to accept a post
in your house, wouldnt it be better to admit the truth that Im not
your daughter?
They wouldnt discharge you from hospital unless they believed you
were going to relatives, Mrs. Woods returned quickly. Theyd start
making enquiries immediately, finding out things about you...
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It was a shot at venture, but it hit its mark, for Ann started and then
went very pale.
The girl at whom she was staring had gripped the arms of her chair.There was something in her memory that she didnt want to face. If she
went back to Queen Fridas Hospital, somebody would probe into her
mind until the whole story came out. And she didnt want that to happen
... she didnt ... she didnt ...
She clenched her hands and beat restlessly on the arms of her chair,
then stopped abruptly when she saw that Mrs. Woods cynical eyes were
upon her.
Her earlier antipathy towards this woman welled up. She didnt like her
and she didnt want to go and live in her house, but she was afraid,
terribly afraid of the alternative, terribly afraid of what someone might
discover about her. And behind all that was the heart breaking
knowledge that if she went away now, severing all connections with Mrs.
Woods and her family, she might never see Iain Sherrarde again.
She got to her feet, her mind suddenly made up. All right, Mrs. Woods.
I will come to Fountains as soon as Doctor Lievers says I can leave
hospital.
Mrs. Woods rose also, nodding her head in a very satisfied manner.
That will be tomorrow.
And may I congratulate you on your good sense.
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CHAPTER FOUR
NANA says were to call you Auntie Anne. It seems funny calling our
nurse Auntie Anne. Were too big for a nurse, anyway. Miss Pollardsays...
The little boy was sitting at the table waving his spoon about and
scattering a good deal of the fruit and custard that was on his plate in
the process. His last sentence was interrupted by a pink-faced Miss
Pollard, who said quickly, Guy, please get on with your pudding.
Fruit and custard isnt pudding, put in the little girl on the opposite
side of the table. Four large blue eyes were fixed on Ann as she stood in
the doorway of the nursery.
Mrs. Woods had already prepared her for the fact that this meeting
would prove the most powerful challenge to her identity. Until a little
less than a year ago, the children had lived in London, and their Aunt
Anne had seen them at infrequent intervals, though she was not fond of
them and had made little fuss of them.
Nearly a year ago! That was a very long time to a young child. Children
soon forgot. Anns coloring, Mrs. Woods had said thoughtfully, was very
similar to that of her younger daughter. If she wore her uniform the first
time she saw the children, theyd be taken in. Theyd never seen their
Aunt Anne in uniform.
Emmas seraphic gaze turned from her brother to the girl in the
doorway. Dont be silly, Guy, she chided him. She isnt our real Auntie
Anne. Were just calling her that to be polite.
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Miss Pollard expostulated rather weakly, Really, Emma, you...
Ann decided that it was time she spoke. You havent seen me in
uniform before, Emma. How do you like it?
It makes you look pretty prettier than you were before, observed
Guy generously Guy was obviously a pet. Ann warmed to him. The
danger, she was quick to see, was going to come from her niece.
You havent seen her before, Emma was insisting now as she turned
her large reproachful eyes in his direction, so how can you know thatshe looks prettier in uniform?
Once more her gaze engulfed Ann. It is nice, she admitted
magnanimously, and you arepretty. Are you married?
Darling, you know Im not married, or thered be an uncle something or
other with me.
We shouldnt have to call your husband uncle. We should call him Mr.
... whatever his name was. Were just calling you Auntie Anne because
its polite and sounds nicer than nurse.
Really, Emma! ejaculated Miss Pollard again, but the look she turned
on Ann was sharp and inquisitive, though her voice was apologetic when
she spoke.
She isnt usually so naughty. Its odd
Im sorry I came while they were having a meal, Ann said to the
governess. Its bad to have them disturbed just now. Could we leave
them to finish while we go into the other room to talk?
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I dont think ... the girl began. I mean ... well, they just wouldnt
finish. Theyd follow us, or run out into the garden.
Ann refrained from raising her eyebrows. All right, Ill stay with youhere till theyve finished. She looked at the clock. What time do they
go to bed?
In about half an hour. They usually play after theyve had dinner
supper, that isbut its been getting later and later. Theywell...
Miss Pollard says we were too repressed when we were with AuntMary, Emma put in now,blandly. Silly old thing!
Emma, Ive told you... Miss Pollards voice threatened, but there was a
quaver in it which no child could fail to recognize.
Its what yousaid, Emma responded, with an upward flick of her long
eyelashes.
Emma, your behavior certainly hasnt improved since I saw you last,
Ann put in now, softly.
That brought the little girls attention back to her. Are you...? she
began, but Ann shook her head firmly. No more talking and no more
questions till youve finished supper.
She turned again to Averill Pollard. Perhaps we could have a talk when
the children are in bed, she suggested, in a low voice.
Averill tossed her head, her cheeks very pink. Really, I dont know that
theres much I cansay. Ive been here only three months. I havent had
a chance...
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Fortunately, Guy made a welcome diversion. Ive finished my dinner,
he shouted, climbing out of his chair, and I like you, Nurse Auntie
Anne. I like you, I like you.
As was apparently usual, Emma had the last word. You cant call her
Nurse Auntie Anne. You must either call her Auntie Anne or Nurse
Anne.
Guy was raising an angelic face to be kissed. Emma, not to be left out,
rushed forward, her face also raised invitingly. Ann bent to hug them.
Since she had left the hospital in Mrs. Woods company, she had felt
cold and depressed. But with this welcome, her heart warmed.
She had not yet seen the childrens mother. Beverley Derhart was
having one of her bad days, and didnt feel, as Mrs. Woods expressed it,
like interviewing a strange nurse. Mrs. Marchdale, who had been her
nurse when she was a child, was with her. When she had really bad
spells, no one could do anything with her except Marchdale.
Though once she has got used to you, I hope it will be different, Mrs.
Woods continued, a faint frown drawing her forehead. She went on
briskly:
Im glad your meeting with the children was so successful. Im dining
out this evening, but you and Miss Pollard can have your meal together.
I should get to bed early if I were you. After all, you are still only
convalescent, and Doctor Lievers was most emphatic that you should
rest when you could.
Doctor Lievers had no idea that his patient was going to do anything butrest, though neither of them mentioned that.
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As she had driven with Mrs. Woods out of Sunbury, Anns eyes had
wandered from landmark to landmark. It seemed to her that she had
never seen this rolling green countryside before.
Where was the lane down which she had wandered and had almost
been run down by Iain Sherrardes car?
Where was the railway accident? she enquired.
Mrs. Woods laughed. You nurses are all the same always interested
in accidents and blood and such horrors, she said, and gave a delicateshiver.
Ann made no reply to that, and the other went on quite
inconsequentially, Iain Sherrarde is supposed to be a confirmed
bachelor, you know.
Ann was so genuinely surprised by the remark and the flicker of malice
that showed in Mrs. Woods small brown eyes that she registered
nothing but surprise. She repeated his name, raising her small chin
slightly, and there was in her voice, the delicate inflection of a question.
Yes, the man who found you wandering about somewhere near Melling
Hall where he should have dined that night. Instead, he took you to
hospital and presumably is going to foot the bill for your private room
and all the expensive treatment youve had there. There was no trace
of tact in Mrs. Woods voice.
Ann was shaken, partly with disdain and partly with embarrassment.
Shes a vulgar woman, she reflected, and remembered with dismay that
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everybody would believe they were mother and daughter. And in her
shrunken world everybody really meant Iain Sherrarde.
She said, in her clear voice, which held more than a tinge of pride, Imafraid Ive been ratherstupid. I just didnt think about bills. But surely
no bills would be sent to him, when everybody believes that you and I
are ... related.
Mrs. Woods expression was all at once very cold. Ihavent been asked
to pay any bills, and indeed, I should refuse to do so. Ididnt arrange
for you to have private treatment.
Anns face was distressed. In her handbag there were only a few pounds
and she hadnt thefaintest idea whether she had any savings. Then I
must pay them myself, as soon as Im able,she said.
Youll be a fool to bother. He has plenty of money. And in a way, hes a
relative of ours. I always think of him as such.
That was quite untrue. Mrs. Woods never thought of Iain Sherrarde
except with intense dislike and antagonism, but she wasnt going to tell
Ann that. She was going to pretend all the time that she and the
Director of the Sherrarde Institute were on the best of terms.
She went on, Of course, we should all like to see Iain married. Hed
make a marvellous husband. His aunt, Mrs. Trederrick, who lives with
him at Daintys End, is trying to do some matchmaking. She invited a
distant cousin, a young woman doctor, to stay with her. A lot of people
are beginning to think Iain will fall for her, for they are seen about
together a great deal.
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She certainly appears to have what it takes ... looks, breeding and a
common interest with him in medicine, but...
She stopped and laughed, and her eyes were suddenly rather sly.
Of course, there is another possibility.
Anns breath caught sharply in her throat. What was this dreadful
woman going to say now?
And then her eyes rounded as Mrs. Woods went on musingly, My
daughter Beverley is a very lovely girl and Iain visits her very frequently.
They have so much to discuss money affairs, the children. Sometimes
they quarrel violently, and its that which makes me wonder. Havent
you noticed, Ann, that people who quarrel at first very often fall in love
later?
Her glance was full of mockery and it was just as if she had guessed
Anns secret and wassaying to her: Youre a silly little fool if you give
Iain Sherrarde another thought. He would never look at you!
But thoughts arent so easily banished, and as she saw the gardens and
the beautiful front of Fountains for the first time, Ann was still thinking
of him.
When she entered the house, Anns first impression was of
disappointment. The decor, the furniture, the carpets were in
contemporary style, and seemed a little out of character in the old
house, but worse still, there was a faint air of neglect about the place.
The furniture did not shine and there were no flowers.
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She had no reason to alter her first impression when Mrs. Woods took
her upstairs. Imgiving you the room my daughter would have, the
other told her loftily, but when Miss Pollard goes, youd better have
hers, which is next to the childrens night nursery. It will satisfy... She
was about to refer to Iain Sherrarde, but it would be better if the girl did
not know how much power he had, so she substituted their mother.
She worries in case they wake in the night. Guy, the little boy,
sometimes has nightmares.
The room was not very attractive, quite small, right at the end of thecorridor, in an angle of the house and consequently rather dark. There
was a film of dust on all the furniture and it seemed as if no one had
been asked to prepare it for her occupation.
Now, after Mrs. Woods had dismissed her, Ann came back to her room,
feeling unutterably depressed. But that was silly, she told herself. Better
to try to improve the appearance of the room, rather than to sit moping
about it.
Having done what she could in the way of tidying the room, and making
up the bed, she unpacked and then went over to the window. As she
looked down, she saw a man in flannels and a grey sports jacket come
from one side of the house and walk through an opening in an old-
fashioned yew hedge. Ann thought he might be a gardener, and
wondered about the staff in the house, for as yet she had seen only one
young girl who had brought tea for Mrs. Woods and herself.
She felt lonely, depressed and fearful. This silent, neglected house was a
terrible change from the friendly brightness of the private wing. Megan
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Elliott had said that she would cycle over on Tuesday to see her, but
that seemed a long way off.
She moved her slim shoulders impatiently. She wouldnt sleep if shestayed here. She would go out for a walk, and perhaps tire herself
physically. The long spring twilight hadnt faded yet, and the air was
quite mild. Ann, still in the uniform which she had donned on Mrs.
Woods instructions before she went to see the children, picked up her
cloak. Strange that she had been travelling with uniform in her luggage.
Just as if she had known that she was coming on a case...
As she glanced out of the window she saw another figure running across
the lawn towards the opening in the thick yew hedge. This time it was a
woman, and unless she was very much mistaken, Averil Pollard. Ann
went downstairs and through the silent hall, shivering a little, though it
was not cold.
The garden was full of the indescribably sweet scents of the burgeoning
year. This was the west country, and spring came earlier here. When
she had left London...
Again there was that blank wall, blotting memories of the life behind
her. She had an impression of coldness ... of frost... and then even that
impression was gone.
Dont try to force anything. Dont consciously try to remember. Better
to let it come back to you naturally, the doctors had said.
With something of a start, Ann noticed that the path she had been
following for several minutes had come to an end. In front of her was agate, standing open. The way beyond was rather dark and shaded by
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trees. She hesitated, wondering where it led, and whether the path
would soon come again into the open.
As she stood, she heard the sound of voices and laughter. It wouldseem that she had come in the same direction taken by a couple she
had noticed in the distance and hoped to avoid. She turned hurriedly,
caught her foot on a stone and, unable to regain her balance, fell
heavily with her shoulder striking the iron railing just near to the gate.
Her heavy cloak, partly responsible for her fall as her arms had been
inside it, shielded her from the worst of the impact, but all the same thejolt was painful, and as she got to her feet her face was rueful. She
would have a stiff shoulder tomorrow and probably a bad bruise.
As she brushed herself down there was the sound of flying footsteps,
and along a parallel path that she hadnt noticed till now a young
woman flew past and disappeared behind the bushes.
Its time I went back, Ann thought wryly. Theres too much cloak and
dagger stuff around here. She began to walk back in the direction from
which she had come, and after a few moments she heard hurrying
footsteps behind her. She turned, and saw a man, evidently the partner
of the flying nymph who had disappeared in the direction of the house.
It was the man she had noticed earlier from her bedroom window. He
fell into step beside her, saying affably, Good evening, miss. Out for a
walk, are you? I hope our good air at Fountains will soon bring an
improvement in your health.
Ann smiled. Good evening, and thank you.
Im Burrows, the chauffeur-handyman, he told her.
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Oh, murmured Ann, realizing with slight amusement that he was
discontinuing his pursuit.
In any case, Averil must by now be in the house.
He continued civilly, I understand youre going to keep an eye on the
children as well as nursing your sister. I hope you wont find it too much
for you. If youll excuse my saying so, it seems a formidable undertaking
for anyone in full health, but for a young lady, still convalescing, well, to
me, its a bit inhuman to ask you to do so much. If youll excuse my
saying so.
Ann did not excuse him. She thought his expression of opinion uncalled
for and his manner too familiar. The little note of distance that had so
infuriated Mrs. Woods was in her voice again. Youre very kind.
He had the grace, it would seem, to recognize the note, and they
walked in silence back to the yew hedge and to the house. They had
reached the steps which led on to the terrace and to the front door
when a man appeared from the other side of the house. Anns heart
began to pound heavily. It had come, then, this moment for which she
had been waiting so long. Even in the dusk there was no mistaking him.
She was to remember later that Burrows said, with a more pronounced
inflection of familiarity than he had used previously, Ill say good
evening now, miss. And maybe Ill be able to take you on another tour
of exploration some evening soon? At the moment, she scarcely noticed
him.
Good evening, Mr. Sherrarde, sir, he continued, with a marked changeof voice. Ive justbeen showing the young lady a bit of the garden.
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Good evening, Burrows. The tone was dismissive and the chauffeur
did not linger. He sketched a salute to Ann and went off in the direction
of the garage.
Ann managed to get some control over her racing pulses. But her voice
was slightly breathless when she said, Good evening, Mr. Sherrarde. I
thought ... I understood you were inAmerica.
I arrived back this afternoon. In the dusk it was difficult to read his
expression, but the coldness of his voice struck her like a blow. So
youre out of hospital, Miss Woods. How areyou?
Ann realized that she was shivering, that her shoulder had begun to
ache, and that all at once she felt faint. When she did not speak, he
went on, still without any trace of warmth in his voice, Wed better go
inside. If I may say so, wandering about in the damp of an English
spring evening is not really sensible in one who has only just come out
of hospital.
But Im quite well now, Ann responded in a small voice. Something
inside her shrank at his coldness. He spoke as if he were a stranger, or
even something worse a man who felt bored or indifferent about
meeting her. But perhaps she was being fanciful. She had been living in
a state of blissful anticipation of seeing him again, and perhaps she had
been expecting too much. After all, they had to get to know each other
again.
They went up the steps together, and then he stepped back for her to
precede him into the hall, but she paused, saying nervously, Im afraid
I dont know where the switches are.
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He replied impatiently, Where is everybody? Surely its Burrows job to
put on the lights and see to the windows and curtains.
I dont know, Ann replied, still in that very small voice. I ... I ... onlyarrived here this afternoon.
So I understand, he replied frostily. Allow me, then. Perhaps he had
been in touch with the hospital to enquire about her. The thought
warmed Anns chilled heart slightly.
The hall had now sprung into light and he went forward into a room onthe right. It was a sitting-room a drawing-room no doubt it had once
been called and unlike most of the house, it was decorated and
furnished with the soft elegance of the Edwardian era.
This was my grandmothers favourite room, he remarked as he went
to the windows to draw the pale rose curtains. I asked that it should be
left as it was when the rest of the house was redecorated.
Its ... Ann looked round and altered the beginning of her sentence. It
could be lovely.
They looked at each other for a moment and then he moved over to the
fireplace, bending to a switch.
Ann sat down abruptly. Those memories of hers from their two other
meetings had not prepared her for this encounter when she was no
longer ill. She hadnt realized that he was so good-looking, with fine light
grey eyes and a handsome profile. She wasnt prepared for his
masculinity, for the vitality which emanated from him as he began to
stroll round the room.
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No wonder Mrs. Woods, having by some diabolical instinct guessed how
attracted she had been to her benefactor, had shown a certain amount
of malicious amusement. This was a man who would obviously have a
wide choice when he contemplated marriage.
He looked angry and impatient. Perhaps it was because of the neglected
appearance of this room. She forced herself to ask, You wanted to
see... She could not bring herself to say mymother, so she did not
finish the sentence.
I came to see the children, he told her abruptly, but I suppose they
are in bed.
I expect they are. Miss Pollard is with them. Surely that must be true,
since Averil had run ahead of Burrows and herself.
Oh, isshe? His frown deepened and another layer of ice was added to
his voice.
Ann sat very still. The pain in her shoulder was growing worse, and her
head was swimming with faintness. He went on almost accusingly,
where is everybody? Surely you havent been left on your own you, a
sick woman!
She raised her head protestingly. Im nota sick woman, Mr. Sherrarde.
At least, not physically, and the doctors say that here, among people I
know, my memory will soon return.
But she didnt know them, she thought forlornly. They were strangers,
and if Mrs. Woods was anything to go by, not particularly friendly. And
the source from which she had expected kindness...
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Perhaps because there was a line of pain between those big, lavender-
grey eyes, perhaps because her expression was so forlorn, the mans
voice softened slightly. Despite your protestations, Miss Woods, you
dont look at all well. I suppose you were lonely, and thatswhy...
He stopped, staring at her questioningly, but Anns eyes were averted.
She hoped she wasnt going to be silly enough to faint. When there was
no answer to his half-veiled accusation, he went on, his voice hardening,
Where are your mother and sister?
Ann had decided today before she left hospital that there was a limit of
deception beyond which she was not prepared to go. She said in a tired
voice, I cant remember anything about my family, Mr. Sherrarde. Mrs.
Woods seems like a stranger to me, and I havent seen Beverley. I
think she is in her own room with the housekeeper in attendance, as she
hasnt been well all day. Mrs. Woods had a long-standing dinner
engagement.
He was watching her intently as she spoke in a flat, almost uninterested
voice about the women who were her nearest relatives. Could there
have been a mistake? Was she really as alien to these people as she
appeared to be?
A gleam of light came into his eyes and went almost at once. Whatever
this girl had forgotten, it was certain that neither Mrs. Woods nor
Beverley Derhart had lost theirmemories.
He spoke again, dryly. I understand from my aunt that youre going to
take charge of the children and also to give your sister such care as she
requires. Obviously thats too much for anyone to do. Looking after the
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children is a full-time job. Ive been insisting that Miss Pollard must go
as she is inefficient, but she certainly cant leave until you are fully
recovered. Otherwise the children must come back to my aunts care,
which is what I would prefer.
He was the childrens trustee and Ann could understand his reason for
wanting the children under more reliable care than they seemed to be
getting at Fountains. But there was that in his voice which stung her to
protest.
You would take the children completely away from their mother? she
asked with raised brows. Even though she cant have them with her
very much, you surely wouldnt be so cruel as to deprive her of them
altogether?
He looked uncomfortable. They could come down each day to see her.
Ann brought the conversation back to herself. Im very strong, really.
One has to be, to be accepted as a nurse, and the training toughens
one. I shall be able to cope quite successfully with the children and help
Beverley when she needs me.
He continued to prowl restively round the room. Youre not to live a life
of slavery. You must have free time, and some social life.
Of course, Ann replied, though she guessed that Mrs. Woods might
take a different view.
Nurse Elliott is going to cycle over on her free afternoons.
She thought she saw a softening in his expression and she decided that
she must broach the subject which was now looming over her like an
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ugly shadow. She must refer to her debt to him, and acknowledge her
obligations.
Mr. Sherrarde, Mrs. Woods reminded me today of the fact that
His brows slanted up over his cool eyes. Ann gulped and forced herself
to go on. I mean the bills for my room ... for the consultants ... which I
understand you have met ... I intend to repay you as soon as Im able.
She concluded the last sentence in a little rush. Not that she wanted to
do so, but once she had started on the subject, she had to finish it. Ithad been a mistake to refer to it at all. She read that in his expression
and guessed that he had never dreamed of making himself responsible
for her bills. Naturally not, when her own family was here on the spot.
Ann hoped that never again in her life would she feel humiliation as
deep as this. Had Mrs. Woods foreseen her schoolgirlish gesture and so
warned her not to refer to the subject? She shrank a little more into
herself at the thought of that smart womans cruel laughter.
She got up and went to the door. Ill find out if the children are in bed,
Mr. Sherrarde.
He seemed to shake himself out of his own discomfort. No, its too late.
You have seen them? Do you remember them?
No. The girl shook her pretty dark head. I don't remember them and
they dont appear to remember me. They have never seen me in
uniform.
No!
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Let the truth be revealed as soon as possible, Ann thought miserably.
That she was an impostor ... a silly impostor who...
And now she felt she could bear no more. Is there anything else I cando for you, Mr. Sherrarde? Im sorry theres no one at home.
No, Ill be off now. I think you will be wise to have an early night.
Only when he had gone did Ann remember that she had offered him no
word of thanks for taking her to hospital, for visiting her there and
arousing her from the twilight of despair.
Childishly she wished that he had never found her that he had
allowed her to go wandering on until she was run down by some
careless motorist, or until she had blundered into the river. Or that he
had left her in that dim grey twilight to drift away into oblivion...
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CHAPTER FIVE
EVEN though she had wished she were dead on the previous night,
when Ann woke next morning in her dark little room, to find that thepale spring sunshine was creeping in, shethought that perhaps after all,
it was still good to be alive. She stretched her slim arms above her head,
yawned and wondered whether she was imagining that someone was at
the door.
No, there it was again a sort of bump. She called Come in, and
reached for a fluffy white bedjacket to pull around her shoulders.
Two angelic-looking faces appeared round the crack. We wondered if
wed been dreaminglast night, Guy whispered. Emma said we couldnt
dream the same things, but we often do.
Silly, we dont, pronounced Emma, no less lordly this morning than she
had been last night.
I tell you my dream and then you say youve dreamed the same, but
you never tell me first.
I dont remember at first, Guy explained apologetically.
As they were speaking, they appeared completely round the door, clad
in their pyjamas, no dressing-gowns, and no slippers on their bare feet.
Goodness, youll be frozen! expostulated Ann. Hop into bed, quickly.
Its been freezing outside. You can see some white on the lawns and on
the trees, Emma shouted, as she moved the curtains and stared out of
the window.
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Guy was only too willing to accept Anns invitation. He snuggled up to
her and sighed blissfully as she rubbed his cold toes. Your feet are like
ice, she scolded.
Guy evidently set little store by the scolding. I like you, Nurse Auntie
Anne, he announced.
You smell nice and youre warm.
Ann began to laugh, but Emma wasnt going to allow the remark to pass
without pungent comments Shed be as cold as you are if she walkedround the house without her slippers and only in her nightgown. And I
told you, Guy, you cant call her Nurse and Auntie at the same time.
Shes not both.
Then shes Auntie Anne, Guy declared. Shes too pretty to be just
Nurse.
You are rather pretty. Emma, having pulled back the curtain so that
considerably more of the pale sunshine flooded the room, now
approached the bed and examined Anns faceearnestly. Yes, you are
rather pretty, she conceded again.
But you look like a nurse when youre wearing uniform. Even though
you didnt have a capon. Why didnt you have a cap on?
I dont know, Ann said weakly. And when Emmas big, china blue eyes
continued to survey her incredulously, she went on, Oh, I suppose
because I hadnt the energy to make one up.
Make one up! repeated her interrogator.
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Ann nodded. Yes, theyre bands of line