Download - RedShift Volume 9 Issue 2
volume 9 / issue 2
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
We believe Media is aRt
XOR
Here it is, the conclusion of RedShift’s 9th volume. We are able to deliver this product now because of the hard work of the individuals on the next page. There were certaintly those who pulled more than their fair share of work, and it is my goal as Editor-in-chief to improve our infrastructure as the club moves forward so that this never has to happen ever again. I am very thankful to all of our contributors for making this issue an excellent product. At the start of the Fall 2014 semester we had some fears about waning membership, but as long as the creative spirit is still strong at Stevens, this magazine will continue to exist.
At our yearly Iron Artist competition, I witnessed some of the most brilliant on-the-spot cre-ativity I’ve ever seen in my two years at this Institute of Technology. It is my firm belief that the students here have an innate creative spirit. It is not a question of if they are able to em-brace it; it’s when.
RedShift continues to be a creative outlet on campus where students can submit their works and have them published in physical print for their parents, colleagues, friends, and profes-sors to see. This year, we received amazing content from students on campus. I urge you to look over to your right, on the Staff page. See the list of contributors? If you know some of them, congratulate them on a job well done. The magazine would not exist without their un-bounded creativity.
One more thing. This will be the last physical print of the magazine. Until we are able to se-cure enough staff and contributors, RedShift will switch to an online publication.
If you are interested in joining our small team, meetings are on Mondays at 9:00pm.
Sign up for our mailing list at http://eepurl.com/RORz5to get the latest info on meeting locations and RedShift planned events.
Christian A. ChiuInformation Systems (Howe)
All work printed in this magazine is copyright of the respective artist.The views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those held by the Executive
Board, members of RedShift, or Stevens Institute of Technology.RedShift is named after a poem by Ted Berrigan, who spent part of his illustrious career
teaching at Stevens Institute of Technology.
TEAM REDSHIFTGraduating StaffExecutive Board
Spring 2015 Visual & Written Contributors
IRON ARTIST ChampionsCommunity Contributors
Email List VIPs (100% open rate for 4 months)
Christian Chiu - Editor-in-chiefChristopher Sinatra - Business Manager
Halie Holmes - Chief Writing EditorUliana Dorogokupets - Chief Artistic EditorStephen Vargas - Head of LayoutKangyi Zeng - Editor at LargeDanny Argueta - 11th Hour Ranger
Josue RoblesJeremy Chung
Charles Drake Jr.Teja JonnalagaddaJoseph A. Brosnan
“The Three Thirds”Hope Brandes
Billie HaasSoetkin Van Landegem
Christopher ShemanskiDr. Jeffrey NickersonDr. Donald Lombardi
Dr. Kevin Ryan
“Biggie Smalls”Elaina Ferrer
Louise Moores
Billie HaasKangyi Zeng
Halie HolmesMichael CurryHope BrandesStanley MikutaGenevieve FinnPatrick Gleeson
Katie WeeksNoelle Scanno
Sean N. BalanonAshton Farnsworth
Ziqian XiaHarsh Shah
Sean BalanonMatt ColozzoKyle DeKarski
Nilsu UygunnerChristopher Sinatra
Uliana Dorogokupets
Harsh ShahLuciano Triolo
Samuel ThomasDanny TimpanaroAllison Dumandan
Elias LopezKaran Shah
Tyler RomeoEddy Scanlan
Stanley MikutaHoward CohenJoseph BrosnanFrankie Guarini
contact info:[email protected]
visit our website:stevens.edu/redshift
2 Reality by Joseph A BrosnanFantasy and Reality by Katie Weeks
3 Ball and Chain by Katie Weeks
4 I am a Christian, a Muslim, and a Jew by Teja Jonnalagada
5 Man With a Newspaper in Hand by Harsh Shah
6 Solitude by Luciano Triolo
7 Untitled by Jeremy Chung
8 Untitled by Jeremy Chung
9 Hooked by Katie Weeks
10 Evil Eyes by Noelle ScannoBlue Skies by Charles Drake Jr.Post Summer Three by Sean Balanon
11 Untitled by Jeremy Chung
12 Tea Break by Sean BalanonConfidence by Ashton Farnsworth
13 Untitled by Jeremy ChungSee no Evil by Katie Weeks
14 Untitled by Jeremy Chung
15 Untitled by Jeremy Chung
16 Beyond Battlescarsby Allison Dumandan
17 Sorrow by Luciano TrioloUntitled by Samuel Thomas
18 Untitled by Jeremy Chung
19 Untitled by Jeremy Chung
20 Untitled by Jeremy ChingUntitled by Samuel Thomas
21 Family Josue RoblesUntitled by Jeremy Chung
22 Freedom Lights by Josue Robles
24 Iron Artist Champions
28 Untitled by Samuel Thomas
29 Not News Sectionwith cover by Christian Chiu
32 CAL Writing Contest Winners
Cover - The Sky Is Not The Limit - Katie Weeks
Back Cover - Freedom Tower - Jeremy Chung
First off, I’d like to thank our advisor, Chris Shemanski. His open door policy was instrumental
to our club’s successes. Whenever I had a question, I’d run up to his office and he’d give me a
good answer.
Prior EIC, Halie Holmes mentored me on all the functions this organization is supposed to
perform. Halie made sure I knew what steps to take as I transitioned from plucky Freshman to
hardened Junior.
Head of Layout, Stephen Vargas showed me the ropes of InDesign and taught me how to rep-
licate RedShift’s unique style onto each magazine.
Chief Artistic Editor, Uliana Dorogokupets planned and executed Artists’ Corner by herself.
That’s baller.
Editor at Large, Kangyi Zeng helped wherever and whenever he could. If we were working on
something, Kangyi was surely one of the first people to volunteer. He was RedShift’s superstar
and a constant I could always rely on.
Our Treasurer Christopher Sinatra has shown an eagerness to help out, assisting with Iron
Artist, and the budget meeting. I have no doubt he’ll find success wherever he goes.
Special thanks to Danny Argueta helped make sure Iron Artist was properly stocked with
building materials by providing us with transportation to the crafts store.
I cannot deny all the hard work and effort that these individuals have put into the RSO known
as RedShift. We would not have gotten this far without their determination to succeed.
Iron Artist
Dr. Lombardi, thank you for improvising when I didn’t quite have all the answers. You took the
initiative by thinking several steps ahead and in the process, took some of the weight off my
shoulders.
Dr. Nickerson, I was ecstatic that you were able to describe the winning pieces like they were
meals in a top restaurant. It really solidified the event’s connection to Iron Chef America.
Dr. Ryan, thank you for keeping your enthusiastic joyful attitude throughout the event, even
though I could tell you had multiple commitments that day and were tired by 9:00pm.
2
Katie Weeks
Tremble before me, child! I possess the infinite knowledge sought out for gen-erations! I have come forth from my heavenly abode to bestow upon you and humanity the secrets of the universe!
With this knowledge, all diseases could be cured, technology would leap for-ward a millennia, the very nature of science could be unraveled!
The mysteries of this world, the next, and the dimensions beyond your wildest imaginations are ready to be solved!
You only need to ask the right question!
“I’m sorry, what did you say? I was on reddit.”
by Joseph A. Brosnan
A Fight Between Fantasy and Reality
Reality
3
Katie WeeksBall and Chain
4
Charlie Hebdo’s comics, the at-
tack on Hebdo, the protests for
supposed “ freedom of speech”, and
the backlash against Muslims and
Islam deeply bothers me.
I am not a Hindu. I am not a Mus-
lim. I am not anything, but perhaps
a philosopher and scientist. And
because of my ancestry, name,
and visage I need to declare these
things first to avoid the compart-
mentalization of racist stereotypes.
My parents are both Indians
that were born and raised in poor/
middle class families in India. They
have worked very hard and are now
very successful. For immigrants to
the United States they are incred-
ibly liberal, but love and cherish
their religion of Hinduism.
They have spent their lives try-
ing to figure out the Western world,
and imbue their values and religion
upon myself and my sisters. Their
intentions have always been good,
but they too have been indoctri-
nated by their elders and are igno-
rant in many ways. Through hard
discussion and confrontation, they
are growing too among my sisters
and I.
I accept the religious philoso-
phies of many religions that speak
about morality, consciousness, the
nature of reality for a purely philo-
sophical sense. But, I eschew all of
the ritual, ignorance, mythology,
fear, ect that all religions hold on to
in the form of religious institutions
with power structures.
This prologue about my point of
view is to set the stage for the up-
coming discussion.
As I mentioned earlier, my par-
ents grew to be successful in the
United States, and I grew up in a
majority White, middleclass/rich
town. And I grew up in the post
9/11 world. I spent my pre-college
years in public schools, and through
my time there I was subjected to all
kinds of racism. I endured racism
when people thought I was Indian
and racism when people conflated
my visage with a Middle-Easterner.
One of my most painful experienc-
es is being called a “Sand Nigger.”
As I have said, I neither a Hindu
nor a Muslim. I am a South Indi-
an, from a subcontinent, but not a
Middle Easterner from the Medi-
terranean. Yet, I know the pain of
racism, assumption, and misclassifi-
cation. Thus, Islamphobia became
my burden along with other Brown
skinned peoples. To this day, my
family members don’t condone the
fact that I grow out my beard some-
times….especially when we’re in an
Airport.
This is the way in which Islamic
militancy and Islamphobia has per-
sonally affected my life. Yet, the
fates of Hinduism and Islam, Arabs,
Middle Easterners, are more en-
twined and go back even further
than my own life or that of my fam-
ily’s.
For hundreds of years, the In-
dian subcontinent has been divided
by Muslim and Hindu rule. And
towards the end of British rule in
India, the tensions between Mus-
lims and Hindus were at an all-time
high. Yet, Gandhi knew that both
factions were necessary to unite In-
dia and declare Independence from
the British. As such, for a short
time Gandhi was able to unite the
Hindu and Muslim communities to
commit to absolute nonviolence in
the struggle for Independence as
brothers in a new nation.
I am a Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim, and a Jew.
by Teja Jonnalagada
“Hebdo, who engaged in
hate speech, and anyone
else should be protected by the freedom
of speech and press.”
5
Before his death and following it, Gandhi’s vision of brotherhood collapsed. Thus the coun-
tries of Pakistan and India now exist. I still share Gandhi’s vision of universal brotherhood
between all religions, even though I may subject than to examination and scrutiny. Gandhi
said, “I am a Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim, and a Jew.”
The reason why I am telling you about this historical tidbit is to give more context in my
point of view.
Since the time of Gandhi, the Middle East has also been in a struggle since the 20th cen-
tury. Just as India declared Independence from Britain in 1947, the Middle East has been
struggling to shrug off colonial rule or “the struggle” – Infintada.
Since the oil boom in the United States and worldwide, the Middle East has been a con-
tinual ground for wars over oil and control of its supply and production. The peoples of this
lands have felt as if there were in a vice grip by the occupation of Western countries for the
battle over oil. As such, many attempted to cling to their religious costumes. And the same
fighters that were armed by the United States and Russia during the cold war became the
fighters to preserve what they believed their religion was, and shrug of Western occupiers.
The ordinary people thought these people were the heroes attempting to restore freedom
Harsh ShahMan with a newspaper in hand
6
and preserve their costumes. But in
reality, these very same groups be-
came the totalitarian and religious
governments that begin to kill and
oppress their own people. These
governments were then upheld by
Western countries to preserve their
interests. Simultaneously, Western
military forces continued to occupy
the Middle East into the in the late
20thcentury.
A mix of anger against Western
occupation of the Middle East and
anti-Islam sentiment in the West;
with the need to preserve tradi-
tional Islam caused the creation
of psychopathic, Islamic militants.
These militants continue the sub-
verted forms of Islam laid down by
the totalitarian theocracies of the
Middle East.
9/11 was the first attack of the
holy war started by these psycho-
pathic, Islamic militants. And this
attack really began an upsurge
of Anti-Islamic sentiment and Is-
lamphobia worldwide. This also
brought on xenophobia, racism,
and bigotry of all kinds across the
Western world. The cycle has only
continued in that Anti-Islamic senti-
ment and Islamphobia has angered
and hurt the ordinary Muslim and
brought on the continued attacks of
the psychopathic, Islamic militants.
ISIS is the worst form of this. This
strain of militant is willing to kill in-
fidels and Muslims alike that don’t
join them.
Yet, we also know that the Mus-
lim world is trying to shrug off the
Islamists, as seen during the Egyp-
tian Revolution with the confronta-
tion of the politically powerful Mus-
lim Brotherhood.
How again does this relate to
Charlie Hebdo? Well during this
entire time, Hebdo worked to stoke
the fire of particularly Anti-Islamic
sentiment and Islamphobia in the
Western world. It is completely true
Luciano TrioloSolitude
“Hebdo disrespected
everything and many religions.”
7
that Hebdo thought that nothing
was off limits and worked to satirize
and mock every single subject.
But, in the context of the current
world where Western countries are
literally at war with the Middle East
and particularly psychopathic, Is-
lamic militants; the moves to mock
and disrespect Islam as a whole and
aspects of the Middle East really
acted as a knife in the ribs.
A preacher burning Korans in
the United States, a Danish comic
producing comics about Moham-
mad, and Hebdo doing the same all
fall under the freedom of speech
and fall under the protection of
freedom of speech. Although, it is
hate speech. The implications of
hate speech could not be guarded
against.
In the context of real world af-
fairs, these spectacles embolden
Islamphobia, Anti-Islamic senti-
ment, xenophobia, racism, and
bigotry.
Hebdo, who engaged in hate
speech, and anyone else should be
protected by the freedom of speech
and press. People should be free to
express what they want.
Yet, this hate was meant for
provocation, and retaliation in some
form or another became inevitable
because of its own actions. Speech
must be protected, but its implica-
tions and consequences cannot be
avoided or protected against.
Did 12 people deserve to die?
NO. Violence of any kind is mon-
strous. All violence is INTOLER-
ABLE.
More so, Hebdo is not innocent.
Hebdo is guilty of spreading hatred
against Muslims and Middle East-
erners. Hebdo disrespected ev-
erything and many religions. But,
no other religion today is under
as much scrutiny and hatred more
than Islam at the moment. Islam,
Hinduism, and Buddhism lack the
political power of Christianity in
all its forms. And Hebdo worked to
hurt Muslims as best as they could.
I advocate for no particular ideol-
ogy, religious institution, or philoso-
phy. Rather my wish is to abolish
the power structures of religious in-
stitutions. People from all religions
“Did 12 people
deserve to die?”
Jeremy Chung
8
Jeremy Chung
9
Katie WeeksHooked
can and have done very evil things. But scrutinizing
another’s religion, while leaving your own unexamined,
is the blindness and evil of hypocrisy.
The world will know peace and equality, when
people chose to examine themselves and their own
religions closely before demonizing, condemning,
and scrutinizing another society, religion, or group of
people. Humanity must have a global reflection before
there is any change.
Freedoms of press, free of speech are not at stake
here. Shar’ia Law is not a threat to Western liberal de-
mocracies.
The true threat to humanity is inequality in wealth,
power, status, resources, etc. In this particular case, a
Western satirist had the power to hurt an enormous
but simultaneously marginalized religious group.
I ponder how the result might have been if Roman
Catholics were as marginalized as Muslims in the world
today? Although we know that there are 1.2 billion
Catholics around the world that are still controlled
by the Vatican as direct result of colonization and the
Catholic missionaries that followed.
The conflicts between the major world religions
have been raging for millennia: Buddhists, Muslims,
Christians, Hindus, and Jews.
The World will know peace when we remember and
acknowledge the pain, forgive the pain, and let it go.
Only then can the world move on. Only then can we
set the wrongs, and inequalities of the past.
I am an Indian, living in America. For hundreds of
years, India was a colony of England. For hundreds
of years, Hindus have been in conflict with Muslims.
But as an Indian, I stand in solidarity with the world. I
stand in solidarity with the struggle of the oppressed.
As an Indian, I stand in solidarity with the marginalized
and voiceless. As an Indian, without a religion, I stand
in solidarity with the common folks of every religion
dreaming for a better life and world.
10
it has been a long summerand you are asking if
I can walk through sound with youand you are asking if
you can walk through sights with me it would be a pleasure
you see I have not seen enough
and I could get more familiar with the gallery rhythm
my eyes are absorbing everything all at once
so I need to hold onto you for a moment
if you don’t mindexpressionist dizzy me
latching onto abstract steady you
what is a canvas but a space to fall into
the snare of brushstrokes from endless angles
begged for you to fall into its embrace
I stood back in white noise to be engulfed or to escape knowing what these works
were capable ofamused
you stepped forward looking for beauty
to destroy you
[post-summer] three
by Sean N. Balanon
Blue Skies
Evil Eyes
Charles Drake Jr.
Noelle Scanno
11
Jeremy Chung
12
Sean N. Balanon
Ashton Farnsworth
Tea Break
Casual Confidence
13
Katie Weeks
Jeremy Chung
See No Evil
14
15
Jeremy Chung
16
Allison DumandanBeyond Battlescars
17
Luciano Triolo
Samuel Thomas
Sorrow
18
19
20
Jeremy C
hu
ng
Samu
el Th
om
as
21
Josue RoblesFamily
Jeremy Chung
22
Freedom Lights
23
Josue Robles
24
IRON ARTIST
“SHERLOCK”
WINNERS
25
TEAM BIGGIE SMALLS
26
“THE BIG BANG THEORY”
27
THE THREE THIRDS
28
Samuel Thomas
29
Articles by Danny TimpanaroThe views and opinions expressed in the Not News section do not reflect the views and opinions of RedShift magazine.
30
With all the influx of ille-gal immigrants that were shuffled into the United States over the summer of ‘14, and the growing of the Rothschild ISIS con-trol media manipulation terrorist group, America is no longer safe.
At any moment, there can be a massive scale at-tack on all the malls and every city at the same time. Literally millions
of people lurk on every street corner waiting for the signal to bring ‘death’ to America.
World sources are say-ing that Putin has actu-ally been trying to help us out, but due to all the me-dia propaganda that he is demonized and begat as a monster.
How can Putin be a monster when he actually cares about the well-be-
ing of each and every one of his citizens? He doesn’t allow GMOS, doesn’t pol-lute the skies with alumi-num dioxide chemtrails, and he doesn’t poison the water with fluoride.
Despite the people of Russia being so bad ass and angry, their sociologi-cal system is quite safe and makes a lot of sense.
Russia assesed safer to live than anywhere else in the US
Fluoride-known to be one of the greatest ad-vancements in modern dentistry of the 20th century has now come out as being a healthy af-ternoon snack. Whether on the go, or sitting in class, eating chunks of fluoride is now known to highly benefit ones brains chemistry.
By calcifying the pi-
neal gland, the organ in the center of your brain that control multiple hormones, and diets and ect, the more calci-fied it is, the more you do what you’re told.
The more your pineal gland starts to be cal-cified, the more you will willingly submit to higher authorities, not question anything, and
become lifeless and boring. That’s the world that our government is trying to create and we at The Shift News thinks that’s great.
Why should people be creative or express themselves freely when all they were bred by the elites to do was help the rich get richer.
Fluoride proven to be safest chemical on Earth
31
Stock market secretly collapses; Feds just print more money to keep it afloat. Whistleblowers in Washington recently anonymously leaked information from the world central bankers explaining how our current economic environment is all
a hoax and there isn’t actually any money. Everyone’s properties don’t actually
have any value, and that our monetary system is all just a sham. Investors seek gold and silver as a means to rebuild the economic stability and foundation.
Thanks to the de-creasing strength in the sun’s magnetic field, the Earth’s magnetic field strength has been de-creasing as well.
The sun’s heliosphere’s purpose is to help create a magnetic field bubble around our solar system which protects us from gamma ray bursts, high energy nuclei, and vari-ous charged particles from our galaxy and uni-verse.
But since the helio-sphere has been weak-ening, the Earth has been bombarded by an
increased level of cosmic ray flux.
This has caused an in-crease in intense storms and erratic weather pat-terns. It has been shown that the Earth isn’t expe-riencing global warming, but instead a period of climate extremes vary-ing between intense cold and warm weather experienced in various parts of the globe.
The Earth’s true North Pole has also been mov-ing quicker and quicker towards Siberia. The state of Earth’s magnetic field has been experienc-
ing erratic and contorted magnetic field lines as if a great polar shift is im-minent.
This can lead to ca-tastrophes such as earthquakes, tsunamis, intense geomagnetic storms, which could knock out the power grids, hurricanes, torna-dos, ect.
It is important that sci-entists and people of the world remain vigilant to the impending environ-mental collapse and en-joy each beautiful day to the fullest in the mean-time.
Sun’s magnetic field dies when no one is looking
Debt bubble bursts, Feds wait to reveal the truth
32
Please Be The End-Since dust has settled in the discord hereAnd life has fallen into stalemate now,With doubt—a prowling, crippling louse—and fearSubsiding, let us call an end to vows.As winter sheds the husk that summer bredOf whispers, wilting warmth, and golden light,I claim pathetic, hapless dreams misled,Condemning foolish hopes to suffer blight.Upon a field of blinding stars we blazedUntil the color dimmed to mute pastel;O sweet rebellion—quelled before we raisedDefeated heads and bid a cold farewell. Against my will, I dwell on past regret And memories of summer’s silhouette.
1st Prize – Poetry
Please Be The End/Dustby Sophia Chong
annual
CAL WRITING CONTEST
33
Dust-
You said, “I’m going to college—I’m not dying”,but you might as well have.
Now you exist to me as the dead do—As a ghost;
an old photograph;a sigh.
You haunt mein old Chet Baker songs;
at four in the morningwhen I wonder if you still suffer from insomnia;
when I walk down Broad with sweaty palms;or even that nickname—I always hated that name—
but I liked the way it sounded in your mouth.
And you’re alive—picking your fingernails; breathing—
when I can’t stand the lightsand I shut the door to let
darkness settle in my skin; into my pores; in my head.It’s then when I realize:
I’ve never felt more human—and my heart has never been so raw.
34
1st Prize – Prose
What’s Left Overby Lily Bruenjes
Silena I’m scared to see you. I don’t know how we’re going to act around each oth-er; whether we’ll act like strangers or as though nothing happened. I know I can’t act the same way. We haven’t actually talked about what happened at the party yet and I’m really scared that you will want to. I’m not ready to talk about it yet; I don’t think I could. I could swear it wasn’t my fault, that I didn’t “ask” for it but would you believe me? He tricked me into that room. I didn’t want to be there. I don’t want to be here either.I arrived early at the bus station meet you. It took me hours to get the courage to even leave home and even then it was the clock that made me go. The cab ride, filled with the smells of a hundred past customers, was the scene of an internal war. Should I turn around and go home? I was suffo-cating on stale perfume and cologne, the stains on the seat made me nauseous as I approached the station. I jumped out the car as soon as it stopped.
“Where you going?” The cab driver went to get out, a suspicious look on his face.“I just needed air,” I said, my hands on my knees. “I’m okay.”“I’m thrilled, cars have windows you know.” He looked annoyed, like I was slowing him down. “Don’t run off on me.” I paid him through the window and hear him utter have a nice day before I backed away be-fore turning to go into the bus station. I’ve been sitting on the cold floor of the bus station for almost an hour now, tucked safely against a wall with my knees drawn up to my chest. The guys that work here keep looking over at me as if they wanted me somewhere else. I look at the clock on the wall and my heart starts racing. You should be here in about twenty minutes.I can’t do this. I don’t know how and I cer-tainly don’t want to.I get up and head for the exit, thinking about how you’ll look at me now. The thought of a kiss makes me cringe. Ev-erything beyond that makes me sick. I just need a friend, I hope you realize that. Back
“my chest t i g h t e n s k n o w i n g that I’ll be a little safer with you.”
35
in the LA version of fresh air I know I don’t have a choice, you’re already on your way and the bus won’t turn around, so I do.Back in front of your gate I watch bus after bus come in twirling my hair every time another one rounds the corner. They all pass without stop-ping and the throng of busses slows after maybe ten. I slide my back down along the wall behind me and put my head on my knees. That was close, maybe you didn’t come after all. Five minutes later, I look up and notice a new bus pulled in but didn’t continue on by. I can see the people start to file out and collect their luggage from where I am. My hair is wrapped around my fingertips again as I stand up and step forward. As anxious as I am, I’m about to see my best friend and my chest tightens knowing that I’ll be a little safer with you.Everyone is agonizingly slow as they collect all they’re belongings. It seems impossible that so many people can fit. I still don’t see you after thirty people have already gotten off and I can’t help but think you changed your mind. Just as I let out a little sigh of relief while my head hangs a bit in disappointment, you finally step off. You were the last.
Damien Over two hours on this bus I’m sick of the cramped cabin and these people. I was hoping sleep would steal some of the time but no luck. My mind can’t shut off for even five minutes. Two hours of back and forth, how will things be different? Did she tell me what really happened? How much of it was actually unwanted? I shake that last thought from my head. This wasn’t Silena, not at all. We’re in LA though so I know we’re only a few minutes out. Ten according to my phone. Three days I had to wait to make the trip, and I’ve felt trapped and useless since. School was a waste, I couldn’t focus on anything. The entire way from home to plan and I still have no clue what to say to her. She insisted on going to school in the city when we all warned her that staying small was smarter. Sitting at the back, I people watched for a while to pass the time. Some of the passengers look happy. One woman has been video chatting with her apparent “bff” about her new engagement. It’s been an endless seesaw of matching bridesmaid dresses or pick your own, baby’s breath or orchids for the centerpieces. It took 15 minutes alone for them to stop freaking out over the ring which I’m pretty sure the entire bus could see better than the woman on the screen. “No one cares,” I mutter as I shift yet again in my seat, trying in vain to stretch out my legs. I’m too tall for these seats as my foot has kindly shown me by falling asleep. Another girl, the one in the row in front of me, has been quietly crying almost the whole way. She sniffles every once in a while and I wonder what happened to her. I hope she’s on her way to someone that will make her happy. I hope I can do the same for Silena. Five more minutes until we arrive. I can see the station from where we are and the line of busses already wait-ing to get in but they should be cleared out of there by
over
36
the time we pull in. I start to collect my things and shove them all back in my backpack as everyone else starts to pack up too, my foot in full tingle mode as it comes back to life. I catch the girl in front of me put in eye drops, probably as an excuse for the tears and collect the rest of her stuff. The bus comes to a stop and everyone stands to get off. The girl in front of me catches my eye as she goes for her bag overhead and tries out a smile, but it doesn’t match the rest of her face. People are finally moving and I make my way slowly down the aisle. I try to find Silena through the windows as I approach the front of the bus but all I see is a security poster about unattended packages. See something say something
JaredThis girl has been sitting on the floor for like three hours. She’s beautiful, looks like she has the mon-ey to get a better way of traveling than the bus, but hey I work here so I can’t judge. All folded up on the floor, hands around her knees but you can tell she’s tall for a girl, a good tall though. Not freakish or any-thing. Nicely dressed, I wonder why she’s even here; she don’t look like she belongs. Hope she knows she can’t stay here overnight. Wonder who she’s been waiting for so long ‘cause doesn’t even seem like she even wants to be here. Not like I can go say anything. Can’t leave my booth. God forbid someone wants a newspaper and I’m not here to sell one. She has her head in her arms now, her hair all around her face, she looks exhausted and I wanna go over and see if she’s okay. But before I think twice about it she looks up and sees the new bus that just pulled in. She looks stressed, letting out huge sighs every time a few peo-ple come off the bus.
“Wonder who she’s
been wait-ing for so
long...”
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A paper is suddenly in my face.“Hello?” This guy is tapping his foot and looking annoyed.“What? There’s a sign right in front of your eyes, the paper is $4.50.” He puts the money on the counter and walks off. I turn back to the girl, now standing as people are filing off the bus. She hasn’t found who she’s looking for even after half the peo-ple are gone. She starts to walk away, then the last dude off says her name. Silena… Never heard that name before… She doesn’t look foreign? Either way she looks terrified as he walks over, his backpack slung over his shoulder like he’s so cool. He gets within a few feet of her and tries to hug her. She cringes when he touches her and pulls away. Who is this guy to her? She doesn’t look happy. What did he do? My hand drifts to the security button.She runs her hands through her hair and says something and he replies, reaching out to her. This time she lets him put his arms around her but still tenses up and doesn’t return the hug. Yet her face is turned towards me and she’s smiling. I smile back. My finger slides off the button and I turn to help a customer who ap-parently has been yelling for me. I look back to see them walking away, side by side, arms brushing one another. She goes for his hand to hold and he looks at her, happily surprised.
pulls away
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