“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

National Tell an Old Joke Day

July 24, 2010

Jay Leno

America’s reigning

King of Comedy

3 Club Minutes

5 Meeting Photos

8 Memoriam

11 Best Buddies Contest

12 Tell an Old Joke (Cover Story)

17 Mail Box

18 Beth Anne in New Zealand

22 Africa Trip Update

24 The ABC’s of Rotary

27 Born to be Wild

31 Tundra Comics

32 Timmy the Squirrel & Tears of Joy

33 Miscellaneous Foolishness

34 Display Ads

The Rio Squawk The official newsletter of the

Tempe Rio Salado Rotary Club

”The Funniest Rotary Club West & East of the Mississippi.”

District 5510 ~ Tempe, Arizona USA

For information regarding subscriptions, advertising,

submitting or requesting a story or photograph,

sending a letter or making a comment,

Email: patrick@pnacentral.org

The Rio Squawk is a free publication circulated

weekly to both Rotarians and non-Rotarians

worldwide, with readership on six continents.

For membership information, call 623-326-7951

or join us for breakfast 7:00AM Thursdays at

the Hometown Buffet, 1312 N Scottsdale Rd

Rotary International

President

Ray Klinginsmith - Missouri, USA

District 5510

Governor - Glenn W. Smith

Governor Elect - Alan Havir

Governor Nominee – Abe Feder

Assistant Governor – John Slentz

Secretary - Sherry Mischel

Treasurer - Joanne Kline

World’s First Service Club Organization

Founded on February 23, 1905

Over 1,200,000 Members in 33,000 clubs

Located in over 200 Countries Worldwide

IN THIS ISSUE

Tempe Rio Salado Rotary Club

President

Corey Bruggeman

Immediate Past President

Patrick de Haan

Vice President

James Greene

Secretary

Jack Buckles

Treasurer

Bobbi de Haan

Sergeant at Arms

PDG Ben Eubank

Environmental Services Chair

Jim Lemmon

Gift of Life Chair

Ron Freeman

Greeter

Kent Hendricks

Guiding Rotarian

PDG Ben Eubank

Health Services Chair

PDG Ben Eubank

International Service Chair

Dona Eubank

Leadership Committee Chair

Bobbi de Haan

Marketing Committee Chair

Greg Searfoss

Membership Committee Co-Chairs

PDG Ben Eubank & Patrick de Haan

Official Mascot

Rio Macaw

Pathway to Reading Committee Chair

Jack Buckles

Photographer/Writer

Bobbi De Haan

PolioPlus Committee

PDG Ben Eubank & Brad Dowden

Progetto Salvamamme – Salvabebè

James Greene & Bobbi de Haan

Public Relations & Media Management

Patrick de Haan

River Rally, Octoberfest, Picnic in the Park

Jim Lemmon

Rotary Foundation Chair

PDG Ben Eubank

Service Committee Chair

Lynsie Scharpf

Trainers

Kent Hendricks

Geoff Pashkowski

Ambassadorial Scholars

Justin Randall (Spain)

Laura Kalb (Middle East)

Beth Anne Martin (2011 Nominee-Latin America)

Service Above Self Award Recipients

Jim Lemmon (2001)

PDG Ben Eubank (2007)

1) President Corey called the meeting to order promptly at 7:00AM..

2) Invocation – Ron

3) Pledge & Four Way Test – Sandi

4) Introduction of Guests – Kent (None today)

5) Get Food – GOOD as usual – BACON!

6) Rio’s Macaw – BAD jokes as usual. BAD PARROT!

a. Q – Why did the scarecrow get the Nobel Prize?

A – Because he was out-standing in his field!

b. Q – How did the farmer count his cattle?

A – With a ―cow-culator!‖

7) Ben was given a new Sergeant at Arms hat, then collected Happy Dollars and any other cash that wasn’t nailed down.

8) District Report – Corey received the year to date

attendance report from the District. During the 2009-2010

year, 9 clubs increased their membership. Tempe Rio

Salado gained more members than any other traditional

Rotary Club in the District, with an increase of 7 members.

Unfortunately, four clubs had no growth and 28 clubs

actually lost members. Overall, the District lost 27

members. There was some discussion regarding the

possible effect this loss of membership by the District

would have on 5510’s status with International.

9) Bumper Sticker of the Day – ―Feces Occur‖

10) Tempe South Rotary Club – Tempe South

Rotary club has invited Rio Salado club to join them

August 20th for their meeting. The guest speaker will be Michael Crow, ASU president. Time 7A-8:30A on that Friday.

Corey asked if we’d like to go dark that week and meet instead on Friday at Tempe South. Ron suggested we meet as

usual on that Thursday so we can support the Hometown

Buffet and are there in case we have surprise guests. The

Club agreed. We will meet on August 19th and several of

us will also go to the Tempe South meeting the next day.

11) Backpacks for Laird School – We have

purchased 48 backpacks that we will be distributing as

student incentives during the upcoming school year. We

are collecting school items to put in the backpacks. If

you’d like to help us, refer to the list of the items needed

After the meeting, Lynsie said she would take care of the

pencils. Let us know what you’d like to donate so we

don’t get duplicate items.

12) Justa Center - Ron told us about Justa Center, the

only center in the US that specifically cares for senior

citizens who find themselves homeless, the second fastest

growing group of homeless (behind children). They are

able to place one person per day in an apartment or group

home. They need household items.

Tempe Rio Salado Rotary Club

Work Meeting

July 22, 2010

PRESENT: Corey Bruggeman, Jack Buckles, Sandi Daly, Bobbi de Haan, Patrick de Haan, Ben Eubank, Dona

Eubank, Ron Freeman, Kent Hendricks, Geoff Pashkowski and Lynsie Scharpf. GUESTS: No guests this week.

We missed you

JIM, BRAD, JAMES, DENNIS,

BRIAN, TIM ANITA, GREG,

and LINDA!

13) Dry Heat Classic 2010 – Corey

read some information about the upcoming

Michael Finney Classic charity events. Pat

reported that our Tempe Rio Salado

magician, John Fitzsimmons, will be

volunteering at the event, helping with

production. The Michael Finney

Foundation is holding its 14th Annual Dry

Heat Classic Golf Tournament and All-Star

Comedy and Variety Show July 29, 30 &

31, 2010. Each year, it is supported by such

celebrities as Baseball Hall of Famers,

Ozzie Smith and Phil Niekro; Football Hall

of Famer, Dick Butkus and Ted Hendricks;

and well known TV personalities. Actor and

Comedian, Bill Engvall from "The Blue

Collar Comedy Tour" brought the house to

its knees with laughter last year and will

again be the featured golf guest and

headliner for the All-Star Comedy and

Variety Show.

This year, both the Golf Tournament and

Comedy Shows will be held at the newly

opened Talking Stick Resort which is

located just off the 101 in Scottsdale. They

are offering a special rate of $90/night plus

tax for all that identify themselves with The

Dry Heat Classic by calling 1-866-877-

9897. Additionally, those that want to play

golf on Thursday or Sunday at the Talking

Stick Golf Course will be extended a rate of

$25/round. Call the golf shop at 480-850-

8611.

For the last 8 years, and again this year, Gift

Of Life-AZ is a beneficiary of this event.

Each year, The Michael Finney Foundation has donated from $15,000 to $25,000 from this major fund raiser to GOL-AZ

and it is hoped that this year will see a sizable increase in their donation.

The Dry Heat Classic is a combination of events that can be enjoyed individually or as a package. It is a banquet, auction,

golf tournament, street rod car show and two comedy nights. The Banquet and Auction will be held on Thursday evening

and will feature 10 different cuisine food stations by valley chefs from very prominent local restaurants. The cost of the

banquet is $50/person. The Golf Tournament will be held on Friday and Saturday. Each golf foursome is paired with a

nationally known comedian or sports figure. The Comedy Nights will be held on Friday and Saturday. The Friday evening

show is for general audiences of both adults and children. The Saturday evening show is for mature audiences. Both

evenings are $30/person to enjoy an evening of fun and laughs.

For more detailed information, you can contact Rotarian and GOL-AZ Board Member, Chuck Flint at

602-980-3474 or visit the Dry Heat Classic Golf website www.dryheatclassic.com for golf

registration and detailed information regarding all events.

14) Next week’s presentation will be the Tempe Center for Habilitation (TCH). Pat will arrange for

a speaker from Justa Center

15) There was no further business. Meeting was adjourned at 8:00AM.

Marisa Arellano Velazquez Don’t forget to tell some Old Jokes this week!

“National Tell an Old Joke Day” July 24, 2010

Sandi is her usual radiant self.

Photos by Rio Candid Pictures from

Today’s Meeting

Ben modeled his new Sergeant at Arms hat. His last two hats disappeared. We suspect that they were taken by either a member who wanted to prevent him from collecting fines, or someone who is fashion challenged.

Ron liked the new hat until he realized that it can hold more money than the last hat and Ben will want to fill it at every meeting!

As usual, Kent and Geoff were first in line for the bacon!

Ben became very upset when someone put a rabbit in his new hat. He spent the rest of the meeting trying to find out who put it there. The rabbit also put something in Ben’s hat and it wasn’t an Easter egg.

Ben was amazed at how many moths flew out of Ron’s wallet when he went looking for Happy Dollars.

At today’s meeting, we unveiled our new table-sign holders. Jack Buckles took the sign holders and drilled a hole in each base so it will be able to hold an American flag. At our July 1st meeting, when we hosted the National Guard, we decided to add a flag to our table-signs. The results look fantastic! Thank you, Jack, for your effort to make this happen so quickly. The next step is to upgrade our flags to a better quality and get some special flags for our military guests.

Spc. Christopher Moon had a special gift. At first glance, one

might think his ability to throw a baseball is being referenced. Yet

Spc. Moon had another quality that very few young men possess

with such authenticity: courage.

Some might say that from a personal standpoint, Moon had

almost nothing to gain by joining the military. After being named

the 2006 Southern Arizona Player of the Year, he accepted an

athletic scholarship to the University of Arizona. As the Wildcats

were enjoying a number one national pre-season ranking in 2008,

the future star hung up his cleats before ever toeing the rubber at

the college level. Moon told his manager that he was leaving the

baseball diamond for a much more important field of battle.

"Like Pat Tillman before him, Chris had a calling to serve our

country in the military," The Tucson Citizen's Andy Morales

wrote in a moving blog post. "He didn’t have to. He wanted to."

The Arizona Daily Star reports that Moon finished Army training at the top of his class. He then deployed to Afghanistan

with the 2nd Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort

Bragg, North Carolina. As Carol Ann Alaimo and Ryan Finley's article explains, Moon's competitive spirit endeared him

to teammates as they worked toward a common goal that far exceeded being on top at the end of nine innings.

"He was a guy who wanted to get out there and get after it,"

[Tucson High coach Oscar] Romero said. "What better place to

play the game of life and get after it for your country than the

Army?"

According to the Pentagon, the soldier suffered devastating

wounds from a terrorist-planted improvised explosive device

on July 6 in Arghandab, Afghanistan. After the emergency

amputations of the gifted athlete's legs, Moon succumbed to

his injuries on Tuesday at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center

in Germany. He was 20 years old.

"It is with deep regret that we must inform you all that Chris,

as strong as he was, has passed on," a group of friends wrote

on a Facebook page dedicated to Spc. Moon. "We continue to

ask for you support not only for Chris but for the Moon family

in such a difficult time. Our prayers and sympathy go out to

his family, friends and loved one. Rest peacefully kid, you'll

always be Tucson's hero."

On January 15, 1942, President Franklin D. Roosevelt mailed

his famous "green light letter" to baseball commissioner

Kenesaw Mountain Landis. The president had been asked his

In Memoriam

Spc. Christopher J. Moon

opinion about how America's struggle for freedom overseas would impact its national pastime.

"Baseball provides a recreation which does not last over two hours or two hours and a half, and which can be got for very

little cost. And, incidentally, I hope that night games can be extended because it gives an opportunity to the day shift to

see a game occasionally.

As to the players themselves, I know you agree with me that the individual players who are active military or naval age

should go, without question, into the services."

Despite living in a 21st century media culture which reserves an hour of national airtime for LeBron James to announce

which multimillion dollar contract he will accept, Moon had a 20th century mindset similar to President Roosevelt's. Sport

is recreation, while defending the United States from evil and tyranny is real. It's a message the fallen soldier's grieving

high school coach gave his players just before a July 14 game on the same diamond Moon once dominated.

"While the normally stoic Oscar Romero, who broke down talking to the boys – not young men – my son Joseph Serrano

included, listened intently and learned about how much is really sacrificed so that they could play a game last night,"

Nathan Serrano wrote.

We will never know how high Spc. Christopher Moon could have climbed as a ballplayer. Yet to fully understand his

legacy, the righteousness of the path he chose must be recognized. He protected others, while also staying true to himself.

Instead of being remembered solely for athletic stardom, the Bronze Star this volunteer warrior earned on the battlefield

will shine brighter than a most valuable player trophy ever could.

Spc. Moon is survived by his parents, Brian and Marsha Moon.

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Share this with all your friends: Email list, Facebook, MySpace, Church, Clubs, Coworkers, Family-Everyone you

know!NY and CA might have more people, but ARIZONA can win by being better organized!

Best Buddies is Arizona’s premier provider of ―quality of life‖ programs for developmentally disabled. They

have been selected by the Diamondbacks to represent all of Arizona in this year’s Pepsi Refresh competition.

Each MLB team has selected a single charity to represent them, so Best Buddies is not competing against anyone

else in the state. The winner receives a $200,000 grant. You can cast a vote once a day by texting or going

online. Voting starts 7/13 and ends 8/17. It only takes a minute, so vote daily and make Arizona a winner!

VOTING STARTS

JULY 13th

There are lots of "holidays" celebrated every year. A quick search for "odd holidays" on the internet will provide you with

numerous sites listing days recognizing historic figures, favorite foods, sporting events, types of literature, and types of

relationships. Some holidays that seem inane, actually have deeper meaning if you know how they started. Other holidays

are just what they seem to be. Some are obvious reflections of our club’s reputation as being the ―funniest Rotary Club

West (and East) of the Mississippi.‖

Every July 24 is ―Tell an Old Joke Day.‖ There are several other holidays each year dedicated to humor or laughter. The

first Sunday in May is World Laughter Day. January 24 is Global Belly Laugh Day. November 20 is Absurdity Day.

August 11th is Presidential Joke Day. All of April is designated a National Humor Month. Creating opportunities to add

celebration and humor to our lives is a good thing.

Some people might dismiss Tell an Old Joke Day when it rolls around. After all, old jokes are more likely to elicit groans

than laughter. Please keep in mind that a groan is really nothing more than a low frequency laugh. Remember also that

what may be an old joke to you, may be a new joke to someone else.

Laughter is contagious. Only yawns are more contagious. People who are around others sneezing, coughing, sniffling or

running a fever may have immunity to the particular condition. Spend time around people who are engaged in a good

belly laugh, and it is difficult not to laugh along. Even if you do not know what the other person is laughing at, it is likely

you will begin to laugh yourself. That's a good thing. Shared laughter creates a sense of intimacy and joy. Shared laughter

helps bind groups together. That is one of the reasons groups, over time, will develop their own private jokes.

National Tell an Old Joke Day not only gives us another opportunity to laugh together, it also provides a way for us to

fondly remember the great comediennes of the past. In this issue of the Squawk, we are saluting two of these, Henny

Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield by including some of their classic jokes.

Some studies show that in order to stay healthy you need approximately 10 good belly laughs a day. So, lets all chip in

and try to hit our quota of 10 belly laughs today!

“Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional

state support good health.” ~ Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter

Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When

laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. In addition to the domino effect of joy

and amusement, laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune

system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless

medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.

Laughter is strong medicine for mind and body

Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind

and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and

keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently

is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and

emotional health.

Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles

relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.

Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and

infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.

Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an

overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.

Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can

help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

COVER STORY

TELL AN OLD JOKE DAY

The Benefits of Laughter

Laughter and humor help you stay emotionally healthy

Laughter makes you feel good. And the good feeling that you get when you laugh remains with you even after the

laughter subsides. Humor helps you keep a positive, optimistic outlook through difficult situations, disappointments, and

loss.

More than just a respite from sadness and pain, laughter gives you the courage and strength to find new sources of

meaning and hope. Even in the most difficult of times, a laugh–or even simply a smile–can go a long way toward making

you feel better. And laughter really is contagious—just hearing laughter primes your brain and readies you to smile and

join in on the fun.

The link between laughter and mental health

Laughter dissolves distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing.

Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and

accomplish more.

Humor shifts perspective, allowing you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light. A humorous

perspective creates psychological distance, which can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed.

The social benefits of humor and laughter

Humor and playful communication strengthen our relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional

connection. When we laugh with one another, a positive bond is created. This bond acts as a strong buffer against stress,

disagreements, and disappointment.

Laughing with others is more powerful than laughing alone

Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing

builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humor is

a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times.

Using humor and laughter in relationships allows you to:

Be more spontaneous. Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.

Let go of defensiveness. Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.

Release inhibitions. Your fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.

Express your true feelings. Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface.

Bringing more humor and laughter into your life

Anyone can join the laughter movement. All it takes is a willingness to risk some loss of control. The timid may start with

a few shy giggles. The courageous may jump in with deep belly laughter. A sense of humor is not required. There’s more

than enough stress to go around and absurdity abounds in our daily lives. All we have to do is believe, let go, clap our

hands and laughter will live again. So will we. Laughter is feeling deeply which allows us to live fully.

Laughter is your birthright, a natural part of life that is innate and inborn. Infants begin smiling during the first weeks of

life and laugh out loud within months of being born. Even if you did not grow up in a household where laughter was a

common sound, you can learn to laugh at any stage of life.

Begin by setting aside special times to seek out humor and laughter, as you might with working out, and build from there.

Eventually, you’ll want to incorporate humor and laughter into the fabric of your life, finding it naturally in everything

you do.

Here are some ways to start:

Smile. Smiling is the beginning of laughter. Like laughter, it’s contagious. Pioneers in ―laugh therapy,‖ find it’s

possible to laugh without even experiencing a funny event. The same holds for smiling. When you look at

someone or see something even mildly pleasing, practice smiling.

Physical Health Benefits:

Boosts immunity

Lowers stress hormones

Decreases pain

Relaxes your muscles

Prevents heart disease

Mental Health Benefits:

Adds joy and zest to life

Eases anxiety and fear

Relieves stress

Improves mood

Enhances resilience

Social Benefits:

Strengthens relationships

Attracts others to us

Enhances teamwork

Helps defuse conflict

Promotes group bonding

Count your blessings. Literally make a list. The simple act of considering the good things in your life will distance

you from negative thoughts that are a barrier to humor and laughter. When in a state of sadness, we have further

to travel to get to humor and laughter.

When you hear laughter, move toward it. Sometimes humor and laughter are private, a shared joke among a small

group, but usually not. More often, people are very happy to share something funny because it gives them an

opportunity to laugh again and feed off the humor you find in it. When you hear laughter, seek it out and ask,

―What’s funny?‖

Spend time with fun, playful people. These are people who laugh easily–both at themselves and at life’s

absurdities–and who routinely find the humor in everyday events. Their playful point of view and laughter are

contagious.

Bring humor into conversations. Ask people, ―What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today? This week?

In your life?‖

Developing your sense of humor: Take yourself less seriously

One essential characteristic that helps us laugh is not taking ourselves too seriously. We’ve all known the classic tight-

jawed sourpuss who takes everything with deathly seriousness and never laughs at anything. No fun there!

Some events are clearly sad and not occasions for laughter. But most events in life don’t carry an overwhelming sense of

either sadness or delight. They fall into the gray zone of ordinary life–giving you the choice to laugh or not.

Ways to help yourself see the lighter side of life:

Laugh at yourself. Share your embarrassing moments. The best way to take ourselves less seriously is talk about

times when we took ourselves too seriously.

Attempt to laugh at situations rather than bemoan them. Look for the humor in a bad situation, the irony and

absurdity of life. This will help improve your mood and the mood of those around you.

Surround yourself with reminders to lighten up. Keep a toy on your desk or in your car. Put up a funny poster in

your office. Choose a computer screensaver that makes you laugh. Frame photos of you and your family or

friends having fun.

Keep things in perspective. Many things in life are beyond our control—particularly the behavior of other people.

While you might think taking the weight of the world on your shoulders is admirable, in the long run it’s

unrealistic, unproductive, unhealthy, and even egotistical.

Deal with your stress. Stress is a major impediment to humor and laughter.

Pay attention to children and emulate them. They are the experts on playing, taking life lightly, and laughing.

Using humor and play to overcome challenges and enhance your life

The ability to laugh, play, and have fun with others not only makes life more enjoyable–it also helps you solve problems,

connect with others, and be more creative. People who incorporate humor and play into their daily lives find that it renews

them and all of their relationships.

Life brings challenges that can either get the best of you or become playthings for your imagination. When you ―become

the problem‖ and take yourself too seriously, it can be hard to think outside the box and find new solutions. But when you

play with the problem, you can often transform it into an opportunity for creative learning.

Playing with problems seems to come naturally to children. When they are confused or afraid, they make their problems

into a game, giving them a sense of control and an opportunity to experiment with new solutions. Interacting with others

in playful ways helps you retain this creative ability.

As laughter, humor, and play become an integrated part of your life, your creativity will flourish and new discoveries for

playing with friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and loved ones will occur to you daily. Humor takes you to a higher

place where you can view the world from a more relaxed, positive, creative, joyful, and balanced perspective.

Hats Off to Jay Leno for his support of and

respect for the classic comediennes. Not only

does Mr. Leno provide opportunities for

today’s comics to develop their craft, he

honors the comedy greats of the past

(Photos: Don Rickles & Rodney Dangerfield)

Dangerfield)

Classic Henny Youngman

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send

one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told

her, "You did it last week!"

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave

him another six months.

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!"

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs.

Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do?"

asks the patient. The doctor says, "I'm mad at my neighbor!"

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's

what puzzles me!"

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The

usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office".

Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay,

let's get started."

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100

pounds!"

The other day I was golfing and broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back,

"How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"

A guy asked me, "Give me $10 till payday." I asked, "When's payday?" He said, "I don't know, you're the one

who is working!"

A guy came up to me saying, "I haven't eaten in two days!" I said, "You should force yourself!"

Another guy told me, "I haven't tasted food all week." I told him, "Don't worry, it still tastes the same!"

Another guy asked me, "Can I have $300 for a cup of coffee?" I told him, "Coffee's a quarter!" The bum said,

"Yeah, but I want to drink it in Brazil!"

I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match"

"Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is

nobody behind us!"

The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.

I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient; they're in two separate buildings!

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"

You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

This man dresses like an unmade bed.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

Classic Rodney Dangerfield

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to

'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man

tripped me!

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He

told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never

came back!

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the

kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand

dollars or you'll see your kid again."

I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've

swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks

and get some rest.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. . He wants me to leave.

What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!

Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. \

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did

everything we could...but he pulled through."

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted

more proof.

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think

we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone

stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was

coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She

said, "No, I hate myself now."

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up

and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight

is perfect."

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All

right. You're ugly too!"!

I would like to invite each of you to participate in and support the 2nd Annual Back to School Shopping Spree at

Target event, benefiting members of Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley North Tempe Branch.

Through a generous partnership with Target stores, the North Tempe Branch will be allowed to take 40 youth to a

back to school shopping event, where each youth is allotted $100 to spend on much needed clothing, shoes and

undergarments (volunteers need to pay for anything during the event). Target has generously discounted many of the

items, allowing each youth to take home more than $130 worth of goods (volunteers who shop with youth are not

required to pay for any items, just help the child shop).

What we are looking for at this time are 40 adult volunteers to assist the youth in picking out appropriate clothing and

shoes during their shopping spree as parents and family members are not allowed to shop with the children. Below

are the logistical details for the event. I encourage each of you to consider attending, as it is one of the most enjoyable

and rewarding events we do with the youth. If you are able to attend, please reply to this email with your FULL name

and phone number and date of birth; additional information will be sent out prior to the event. Please feel free to also

invite any other adults you may know (spouses, roommates, etc) to join you in volunteering.

For those of you who are unable to attend, but are interested in supporting the event, we are currently accepting

monetary donations to offset our portion of the event cost. If you wish to make a monetary donation, please email me

DATE: Saturday August 7, 2010 TIME: 6:45am

LOCATION: Target Store #1429, 1230 S. Longmore Ave, Mesa, AZ 85202

The event lasts approximately 1-1 ½ hours, depending on how fast the youth shop.

On behalf of the over 400 youth our club serves each year, thank you for your consideration!

Best Wishes,

Lynsie WE STILL NEED VOLUNTEERS

Another great issue! I really loved seeing all the people, some who I knew. So great that Corey is

President. He will do a great job. I am happy that he accepted the position.

When you decide on the military project, I would love to donate to it.

Funny but I have been reminded of Rio a lot lately. Geoff's wife stopped in and we chatted a few

months ago and I have also seen Bonnie Goldsmith, her parents and daughter. I also saw Ben and

Dona's daughter this past year. A few weeks ago Joe Carbone stopped in to say hi; His yearly visit. I

spoke with Corey the other day, saw Patrick Peters, and today Terry Mickelson called me. Haven't

seen him for over a year. So, it is nice to be able to keep in touch a little.

Thanks for the email.

Sue Strebe My compliments to your club on a fabulous newsletter! I enjoyed reading it.

Rick DePonte President Ahwatukee Foothills Rotary Club

Ambassadorial Scholarship Update

Planting Seeds, Changing Views

“Think small. Planting tiny seeds in the small space given you can change

the whole world or, at the very least, your view of it.”

Linus Mundy

I found this quote and realized it pretty much summarizes my internship

this week. This week, I planted a couple of trees, 260 flower bulbs, and

over 250 garlic cloves. I don’t see these plants changing the world but this

week of my internship continues to shape my view of the world and my

perspective of myself in relationship to all that is around me.

Avocado Trees Avocado trees struggle to survive on the island. Root rot is the main culprit behind

this struggle as the clay in the ground prevents the roots from expanding properly.

So, I found myself planting these trees with a sense of hesitation. In an effort to

avoid root rot, I dug the ground up about twice as much for other trees. Then, the

topsoil was mixed with sand from a local beach and placed back in the ground hole,

filling it halfway. Blood and bones was sprinkled on this and then the avocado tree

was placed in the ground very gently. The remaining soil and sand mixture was

used to cover the base of the tree before more blood and bones and mulch. Finally,

a wind guard was established to protect these new trees from the ferocious winds.

One of the trees needed additional help with tree ties to keep the tree growing

straight. All of the material used for the wind guard and tree ties were made from

sheets purchased from the local opportunity shop (second-hand store).

Garlic I was born loving garlic. So, planting over 250

garlic cloves was an absolutely fantastic

experience. First, garlic bulbs were purchased

from the local organic store on the island. We purchased about 15 bulbs. Then, the

bulbs needed to be broken up and the cloves separated by not peeled. The garlic was

planted on two raised beds. My planting style for items, like garlic, is a little bit of

―chaorder‖ (chaos + order). So, I went to town spreading the garlic about six inches

apart and planting them thumbs length deep with the tip pointing towards the sky.

Tradition holds that you plant garlic on the shortest day of the year (winter solace) and

harvest them on the longest day of the year (summer solace).

Flower Bulbs Daffodils, irises, and freesias are now scattered under the orchard trees and along the

brick, terrace walls. The bulbs are relatively easy to plant digging holes, loosening the soil, and then covering with mulch.

No need to worry about watering, the rain takes care of this for me. Once again, my chaorder style of planting prevailed.

These flowers will, hopefully, bloom in spring.

One of the Orchard Trees with Bulbs around the

Base (and Seaweed) About 260 Bulbs

One of the

Garlic Beds Avocado Tree with Wind

Break (AKA Sheet)

At one moment this week, when I

was planting, I suddenly realized

that I was not going to see any of

the flowers bloom or eat the crops

from any of the other plants. It

was a strange realization, realizing

that I was never going to see ―the

fruit of my labor.‖ Surprisingly,

this did not diminish the sense of

pride and purpose I felt while

planting and, if anything, that

sense grew. Knowing that people,

including people I will never meet,

will reap the reward of my work is

both exciting and rewarding.

I recognized this is a similar

reward with sustainability. We

might not see all the impacts of

promoting sustainable practices

both in our personal lives, work,

influences, etc. However, people

reap the rewards of us learning

about and making choices to live

more sustainability. In my

opinion, the greatest reward of

sustainability is contributing

positively to the world around me.

Jobs in Sustainability: Are They out There?

The current state of jobs in sustainability is hard to quantify since sustainability is a loose term including a variety of

―green jobs‖ and ―regular jobs.‖ I recently read an interview with Van Jones, Special Advisor to President Obama and a

member of White House Council on Environmental Quality (CEQ), who discussed the state of green jobs in our nation.

He observed:

The green-jobs movement has been overhyped if people think that we’re somehow going to have a green utopia, and

everybody in America’s going to have a job putting up a solar panel everyday, and that day will be a week from next

Thursday. I mean, that’s overhyped. But the reality is that there are either going to be a whole lot more green jobs or

we’re going to have a dead planet. It’s become kind of fashionable to pooh-pooh it. I’ve never seen a movement two years

old expected to have already changed the country. The civil rights movement took several decades. The women’s rights

movement took several decades. Other environmental movements are taking several decades. We need to give the green-

jobs movement at least a chance to turn green before we declare it dead.

(Source: http://motherjones.com/environment/2008/10/qa-van-jones)

Van Jones recognizes the hyper attention that was focused on the green jobs movement. One of the issues facing the

movement is that the attention was not backed with equal financial investment. In other words, despite all the hype, jobs

were not flourishing accordingly.

The adoption of ―green practices‖ and ―environmentally friendly job aspects‖ contributed to the roadblocks against the

green jobs and solely sustainable job movement. Jobs which already existed in the market adopted sustainability

principles without necessarily hiring new staff to focus solely on these goals. By utilizing current employees to

Irises, Planted in Chaorder Style,

along the Stone Wall

accomplish goals related to sustainability, the company supported sustainability without perhaps directly contributing

positively to the current state of jobs in sustainability.

However, despite the barriers for sustainable jobs, new job opportunities in clean energy and design have opened new

opportunities for graduates. Additionally, as sustainability gains certifications and political awareness, jobs open in those

areas. The recent BP oil spills has sent people wondering if this will open more clean energy jobs? Or, if these jobs are

established, will they be outsourced?

Through my internship, I am learning about the practicality and sustainability of local food. As gas prices continue to rise,

I wonder if transportation, an expensive part of food production and the largest percentage of total pollution in the farm to

fork analysis of food in America, will force or, ideally, encourage people to buy more food locally. I think about how I

can apply what I am learning regarding permaculture, gray water usage, planting, etc. to contribute to local, urban

agriculture.

In the future, I think green jobs and jobs in sustainability will have some specialty areas but I think many of the jobs will

be taking jobs that already exist and ―upgrading‖ those jobs to be more sustainable. The interesting thing to me is that

many of the ―specialty‖ green jobs are really jobs that are not new to humanity but rooted in very ancient practices such as

utilizing solar energy and tending to the land in a positive way. These are not new concepts, maybe humanity can

remember.

Beth Anne Martin is Tempe Rio Salado Rotary Club’s nominee for the 2011 Ambassadorial Scholarship. She is in New Zealand this summer working as an intern on a self-sufficient, organic farm.

Avocado Tree with Tree Ties (Yes, The Ties Are Representing Suns’ Colors)

`

To make a contribution or if you need additional information, contact:

Patrick de Haan (Tempe Rio Salado Rotary Club) 623-326-7951 or patrick@pnacentral.org

Jan Snyder (Tempe East Rotary Club) 480-951-9250

www.sustainableltd.org

Looking for a Simple, Low-Cost, High-Impact Polio Project?

All we need is a $25 donation from 100 Clubs, Companies, or Individuals

Africa Update from Jan & Clarice Snyder

July 15th

Little Field Orphanage

(Chigamba Village near Nyenje Trading Centre), to Lilongwe, to South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

The hearing clinic at the Little Field Orphanage was well received by the villagers (morning) and all the orphans were

tested in the afternoon. The villagers crowded around the building where we slept and used for the clinic. The structure

had been used as a medical clinic in the past but for some reason it is not in use at tis time. Word had spread in the village

and many thought medications would be dispensed.

The audiology team members found numerous cases of ear infections that needed to be treated medically and others who

were fully deaf. At 11:00 we made an announcement that the testing of villagers would end at noon but when that time

came, we had to have the team disappear into the back room in order to convince the villagers there would be no more

testing. They would have stayed into the night and yet the team members needed to rest and eat before they resumed

testing with the orphans. As it was, a few villagers hung around and even protested.

That afternoon, as the orphans were being tested, Clarice and I took a walk down the dirt road toward a lake. A man on a

bicycle came along just as we started and he dismounted in order to walk along with us. Soon he asked if we were

husband and wife and when we said,―Yes‖ he immediately expressed surprise. Although we know that it is not customary

for married couples to walk along the road together, we had not, in the past, experienced such a surprised reaction to our

doing so. He repeated the verbal expression of his surprise and, on my prompting, shared it with three women who were

walking along the road in the opposite direction.

They appeared to be coming back from the fields as one carried a long blade tool that resembles a machete, while the

other a type of hoe. The one with the blade assumed a stance, with the tool across her chest, in what seemed a humorous

defense of the tradition that disallows women to walk with their husbands. A man, who is a teacher at the orphanage,

came by on his bicycle and joined the conversation and, he too, shared that such a practice, ―… cannot be done.‖ Little

else was discussed as the issue remained their focus of attention until we stopped to turn around. Only then did the first

man say that we had taught them something and he wanted for us to come to his home to meet his family.

We were not prepared to continue our walk as we had already walked for quite some time, so declined and headed back.

As we did, two young girls, carrying large bowls of flour on their heads, passed us and never stopped even though they

passed other children who asked to have their pictures taken.

The hearing clinic had finished by the time we returned so we sat and talked with on of the Malawians who had helped

with translations. Solomon is a student at the University of Maine and has been financially assisted by a woman

benefactor he happened to meet a few years ago. When asked about his future intention, Solomon was clear that he

wanted to return to become an educator. He was interested in our other projects so we showed the video of the well repair

and then the recently developed hand cycle for which he was impressed.

The next morning, Janet Littlefield came to see us as she had not been there for the hearing clinic. She and Bill had driven

to Lilongwe to drop someone off at the airport and he went on to Ntchisi Forest Lodge in order to see for himself what the

place looked like.

After saying good bye, we headed back toward Lilongwe. When we reached the Shire River, I stopped at the Hippo View

Hotel, which was familiar to us from a trip in 2004. Although we had not stayed there, it was a nice place to view the

river. Even though we did not see hippos, we did hear them from across the river.

We stopped at the Dedza Pottery Factory for lunch—another location that was familiar from previous trips—and enjoyed

the break before getting back on the road for the final leg. We arrived in Lilongwe in time to go directly to the bureau of

exchange to get more money and then stop to see Mcdonald Ganisyeje at Land and Lake. He had heard from our clearing

agent to say the shipment of medical devices had arrived and I had to go immediately to the airport to pick them up. So we

headed to the Golden Peacock to unload before Kyle and I drove to the airport.

Mathews was waiting for us and we quickly loaded the largest box onto the top carrier. It was so large that it barely fit,

while the next largest had to be pushed into the back of the Land Cruiser. I paid the duty, and Mathews fee of MK 20,000

then found that our vehicle would not start. One of the workers twisted the terminal and that was enough to re-establish

the connection—something I should have thought of—and we were on our way.

We stopped to buy some beer and then returned to the Golden Peacock for dinner. Afterward, we unloaded the boxes and

separated the devices so the one destined for Zambia was ready for the next day’s trip. There were bags of cereal and

children’s backpacks that had been added to the shipment by Vin Pizziconi and I shared some of the cereal with the

Golden Peacock workers who had helped unload the boxes. I also gave a backpack and cereal to Suleman for his young

daughter and son.

After a special breakfast at the café in front of Land and Lake Safari, we loaded the trailer, to include Anastasia’s hand

cycle, and climbed into the 9 passenger Land Cruiser for our day’s drive to the village of Mfuwe, and the Zambian, South

Luangwa National Park. The drive takes most of a day as we must pass through customs at the border, pay USD $50 to

enter Zambia, and once past the first major town (Chipata), the road is dirt.

We arrived in the afternoon and were met by one of the greeters who gave a short welcome and talk about safety issues

(don’t walk about at night as elephants, leopards, and other animals pass through the camp) and scheduling for the meals

and safari rides. Hippos come up on shore so the trail that leads from the camp to the dining area cannot be used after

dark. There was a great degree of excitement amongst our group as even then we began to see animals in the wild, along

the Luangwa River, they had only seen on TV or in zoos.

We settled into our cabin-tents, enjoyed the sunset, sounds and sights along the river, and waited until the driver brought

the specially outfitted, open aired, Land Rover to drive us to the dining area for dinner. Afterward, we returned and

headed for bed as the next morning’s wake-up would be early with a 6:00 AM departure for our first of four safari rides.

July 18th -20th

South Luangwa National Park, Zambia and Lilongwe, Malawi

Two days of safari rides into South Luangwa National Park provided many wonderful sightings of birds, mammals, and

plants. Of the latter, the most interesting was probably the orchid that grows in trees where the seed has sprouted and

taken root.

We saw many of the classic African animals to include two prides of lion, a leopard, hippo, impala, water buck, cape

buffalo, crocodiles and much more. The bird life was also tremendous.

However, in terms of our project, we were able to deliver the specially built hand cycle designed and developed for

Anastasia, a girl of 15 who is afflicted with polio while she also seems to have some other complications. She had to be

lifted onto the seat then we adjusted it to make it easier for her to reach the foot rests. Through our driver, Sly, we learned

that her first statement was that she wanted to go to church, and later said, ―Grandma will be surprised.‖ Sly told us that

she continued to demonstrate a great deal of happiness with the cycle, which her mother had to help her with.

Her uncle was also there and we talked about how she would need to practice in order to gain strength enough to power it

herself. Both the mother and uncle promised to work with her to practice riding the cycle but they were also happy that

Anastasia could now be transported without having to carry her.

We left they with extra tires and tubes for the cycle along with a hand pump so they could keep the tires inflated properly.

Afterward, we drove to see Elizabeth who had received a cycle in 2007. We had seen Elizabeth last year when we visited

her home and noted that she had clearly gained strength through use of the cycle. Even though her progress had been note

worthy, we did not anticipate the great change in her now. Due to the cycle, she had been able to return to school. That

opportunity, in turn, had allowed her to learn to speak English to the point that she could communicate with us. Further,

we found her at a shop where she now has a job—again, an outcome of the cycle as she is able to ride the 5 km to and

from work on the weekends. Elizabeth remains in a room during the week but returns home on Sundays.

She has worked up a proposal for us to help her start raising chickens and she gave that proposal to us before our

departure. She also has collected information and photos of others in the village who are also disabled in some way.

Elizabeth had the collection of information, along with photos, of each of those people and presented them in a book for

us to take home with the hope that we will be able to do something for them as well.

Later, we talked with Sly about starting a production facility in Mfuwe where there are plenty of people who have skills to

produce devices we design. That plan is something we will have to work on through correspondence in the near future.

On the 20th, we made the long drive back to Lilongwe with Ben, our driver. The road, being long and dusty, provided

good reason to shower and wash clothes once we arrived. We chose to go to Ali Baba’s for dinner; a favorite place for us

and our children on past trips.

24. INVOCATIONS AT CLUB MEETINGS

In many Rotary clubs, particularly in Judeo-Christian nations, it is

customary to open weekly meetings with an appropriate invocation or

blessing. Usually such invocations are offered without reference to

specific religious denominations or faiths.

Rotary policy recognizes that throughout the world Rotarians represent

many religious beliefs, ideas and creeds. The religious beliefs of each

member are fully respected, and nothing in Rotary is intended to

prevent each individual from being faithful to such convictions.

At international assemblies and conventions, it is traditional for a silent

invocation to be given. In respect for all religious beliefs and in the

spirit of tolerance for a wide variety of personal faiths, all persons are

invited to seek divine guidance and peace "each in his own way." It is

an inspiring experience to join with thousands of Rotarians in an

international "silent prayer" or act of personal devotion. Usually all

Rotary International board and committee meetings begin with a few

moments of silent meditation. In this period of silence, Rotary

demonstrates respect for the beliefs of all members, who represent the

religions of the world.

Since each Rotary club is autonomous, the practice of presenting a prayer or invocation at club meetings is left entirely to

the traditions and customs of the individual club, with the understanding that these meeting rituals always be conducted in

a manner which will respect the religious convictions and faiths of all members.

25. OPPORTUNITIES FOR FELLOWSHIP

Most Rotarians are successful professional and business executives because they hear opportunities knock and take

advantage of them. Once a week the opportunity for Rotary fellowship occurs at each club meeting, but not all members

hear it knocking.

The weekly club meeting is a special privilege of Rotary membership. It provides the occasion to visit with fellow

members, to meet visitors you have not known before, and to share your personal friendship with other members.

Rotary clubs which have a reputation of being "friendly clubs" usually follow a few simple steps: First, members are

encouraged to sit in a different seat or at a different table each week. Second, Rotarians are urged to sit with a member

they may not know as well as their long- time personal friends. Third, members invite new members or visitors to join

their table just by saying: "Come join us, we have an empty chair at this table."

Fourth, members share the conversation around the table rather than merely eating in silence or

talking privately to the person next to them. Fifth, Rotarians make a special point of trying to

get acquainted with all members of the club by seeking out those they may not know.

When Rotarians follow these five easy steps, an entirely new opportunity for fellowship

knocks each week. Soon Rotarians realize that warm and personal friendship is the

cornerstone of every great Rotary club.

1 ```````````````````````````aa

Your Club is invited to join Tempe Rio Salado and our Sister Club,

the Rotary Club of Islamabad, Pakistan, to become part of this important Global Peace Initiative!

NO COST INVOLVED! STAND AND

BE COUNTED!

Looking for a COST EFFECTIVE Literacy Project?

Are you working with a limited Club service budget or short of voluynteers?

Would you like to get books to hundreds of impoverished valley children for just a few cents per book?

Contact Rotarian Jack Buckles & learn about Pathway to Reading! JBuck32175@aol.com

Welcome to Butternut Farm

Butternut Farm Wildcat Sanctuary

BFWS is dedicated to the education of the public about the 36 species of wildcats of the world, especially native cats such

as the bobcat, lynx, and cougar. They also operate as a first-class zoological institution (sanctuary) for homeless and

rescued cats. The BFWS is a non-profit Ohio corporation and a 501 (c) (3) organization as determined by the Internal

Revenue Service.

The sanctuary is licensed by the State of Ohio and the USDA (Class C Exhibitor). Visits by the public are always

welcome on an appointment basis only. They operate the sanctuary through public donations and with volunteer help.

They need and would greatly appreciate your support!

Bobbi de Haan’s Born to be Wild

Celebrating the Care and Husbandry of Exotic and Endangered Wildlife

Slash and Squeekers were kept by their owner for

years in a small dog crate with no natural light.

When she wanted to feed them, she would throw

a twelve pack of donuts in through the door, box

and all. When they came to BFWS last year, they

hated all humans and human contact. Now,

keepers and volunteers can actually step in to

their cage and give them treats, marshmallows

being their favorite! Coatimundis are members of

the raccoon family. They are omnivorous and

live both arborally and on the ground. Females

live in large troupes, called bands, while males

are generally solitary. As their favorite foods

contain high levels of sugar, they are quite active

and playful.

Toby is a 7 year old big boy that came from Indiana. His

owners raised him from a cub and he was well loved and

cared for. When it was time for him to be in an outside

enclosure the community overreacted and tried to force the

family out. The owners tried to sell their house rather than

give up Toby but the community ran off prospective

buyers. The family was forced to find a new home for him.

It was very fortunate to receive such a sweet boy. He is

well loved at BFWS.

Custer and Tia

Shawnee, a 12-year-old cougar, was unwanted by her original

owner. She was kept by her new owner at a friend’s home until

his friend died suddenly. She had to be moved quickly before

the new owner took possession of the house, and BFWS was

contacted for help. Shawnee and her cage mate were moved to

BFWS in 2005. Her owner has since moved near BFWS and is

now our head animal caretaker. As a result of the move, she

became very stressed and consumed a large amount of bedding

material that was placed in her house. She stopped eating and

once the staff figured out the problem over 3 pounds of straw

was finally removed from her stomach. She is now 12 and has

been a resident here for 3 years. She is a sweet loving cat who

takes medication for arthritis.

Ayla is a special needs Cougar who is well-

loved by all females at BFWS. A 6-year-old

cougar she came form Kentucky. Ayla was

previously at a sanctuary that closed. Her owner

wanted to place her in a home where she would

receive love and the best care. Ayla is partial to

women and the female staff members adore her;

she tends to hide around the males. Ayla

currently suffers from an immune deficiency

and is on medication and steroids to keep her

healthy.

.

Mercury was the first cougar to come to the sanctuary in 1999. She was 15 months old and had been listed on the

Internet. She was living in a trailer in Alabama. Her owner had wrestled with her as a baby and as she grew she wanted

to wrestle with the owner’s children. The owner threw her out into the backyard and left her there with no food or

water. The owner’s relatives sent out a plea for someone to help before she starved to death. BFWS answered the call

and drove to Alabama to rescue her. We obtained her just in time. She is an example of what not to do with a cub.

Cubs need to be raised the way you want them to act when they are older. She will still play wrestle with anyone she

comes in contact with. At her size even play can be dangerous. Mercury is a great cat and is very happy with her

cagemate Ayla

Butternut Farm Wildcat Sanctuary

13740 Blamer Road

Johnstown, OH, 43031

Butternut Farm Wildcat Sanctuary

http://www.butternutfarmwildcatsanctuary.org/

If you like these cartoons, visit Chad’s web site - Tundra Comics

James Greene’s Timmy the Squirrel

Memorial Bizarre Pictures of Cute Little Animals

JACK BUCKLES’ TEARS OF JOY

Funny Stories, Bad Jokes, Bumper Stickers, etc.

The Waiting Room

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and

the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new

father of twins!"

The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."

The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr.

Smith's wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work

for the 3M Company."

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked

him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air. I work for 7-UP."

Can You Name

These Pictures?

ANSWERS

Green Thumb

Cupcake

Clean as a Whistle

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Month of Sundays

Bourne in a Barn

RIO MACAW’S

FACEBOOK PAGE

Rio now has 678 friends on his Facebook page.

What’s even more amazing is that more than 200 of

them are from different countries around the world,

true to the spirit of Rotary International.

Rio currently has friends in:

India

Greece

Turkey

Argentina

Portugal

Denmark

Italy

England

Venezuela

Bangladesh

Pakistan

South Africa

Brazil

Chile

Mexico

You can visit Rio at this link:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/rio.macaw?ref=name

The Future of Rotary is in Your Hands!

The 2011

WE TOUR

Walk Across America

For Special Needs Kids