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STOP SUFFERING AND START LIVING
ByGreg Smith,
PhDwww.gregsmith.co.
za
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Suffering is…
“The state of undergoing pain, distress or hardship”
Oxford Dictionary
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“When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he
has brought his own stool.”
Prof. Chinua Achebe
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“Life is suffering”Prince Gautama Siddharta, Founder of Buddhism
“Jesus wept”John 11:35, Bible
“Sometimes pain teaches what pleasure cannot”Quran
“It was only through suffering that the children of Israel obtained three priceless and coveted gifts…”Talmud
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“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
Kahlil Gibran
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Despair = Suffering without meaning
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So…
• Life IS suffering
• Life is impermanent
• We create MORE suffering by trying to avoid suffering
• We avoid suffering through cravings or aversion
• We CAN overcome this…
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BEACH BALL
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STRESS / SUFFERING CONSISTS OF…
1. The stressor, i.e., the changes or demands
2. How this stressor is
perceived (not the event!)
3. The actual stress response in the body or mind
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ABC THEORYACTIVATING EVENT BELIEF CONSEQUENCES
DISPUTE
D
NEW OUTCOME
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“We don’t see things as they
are, we see things
as we are” Anais Nin
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Survive vs Thrive
• Negative emotions (fear, anger, despair) help us SURVIVE
• Positive emotions (curiosity, delight, interest, joy, etc) let us THRIVE
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THE
SWAMP
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FLY-FISHING
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SHIPWRECKED
METAPHOR
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Recontextualising the Problem
DepressedDepressedUnmotivatedUnmotivatedUnemployedUnemployedIndecisiveIndecisive
OverweightOverweightUnloveableUnloveable
Need therapy!Need therapy!
What I want What I want my life to my life to stand for stand for
DepressedDepressedUnmotivatedUnmotivatedUnemployedUnemployedIndecisiveIndecisive
OverweightOverweightUnloveableUnloveable
Need therapy!Need therapy!
The life I’m left withThe life I’m left with
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“I think that...”
“I’m having the thought that...”“I’m having the thought that...”
“I notice I’m having the thought that...”“I notice I’m having the thought that...”
This is This is unbearableunbearable
I notice those I notice those thoughts are there thoughts are there
againagain
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HELPFUL ATTITUDES• Non-judging
• Patience
• Beginners Mind
• Trust
• Non-striving
• Acceptance
• Letting go
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WORLD
I / YOU
BODY
MIND
Suffering
5 SENSES
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CHESSBOARD
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BEHAVIOURTOWARDSAWAY
SUFFERING VALUES
MIND
5 SENSES
AUTOPILOT
PAST FUTURE
NOW / PRESENT
ANXIETYDEPRESSION
?
Spirituality
Intimate Rels
Family Rels
Social RelsLeisure
Career
Health
Alcohol
Temper
Drugs
Smoking
Shouting
Withdrawal
I / ME
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