SATURDAY, APRIL 19, 2OIIA J5

THE OTTAWA CITIZEN OTTAWAC ITIZE N.CO M/L I FE

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Couples coaBob and MarleneNeufeld help resolveclients' relationshipwoes using a body-centred approach

PATRICK TANGSTON

car'sjustbroken down or one ofyourchildren is ill, you're suddenly in apitched battle - yet again.

Bob and Marlene Neufeld mightbe able to help, as specialists in two-on-two couples coadring.

It's a service in which they andthe elient couple worktogether as afoursome to resolve problems in theelients' relationship.

They use a "body-centred ap-proach" to help people become awareof how they are reacting physicallyduring the coaching sessions, whatthose reactions communicate, andhowtheyqnbe usedto restore har-mony.

For example, if your foot,s tappingmadly while your partner's speak-ing, it could be a manifestation ofimpatience or disagreement, saysBob, who taught elementary schoolfor 31 years, has a master of educa-tion and began coaching with hiswife in 2O08.

Or, he adds, that jittery foot couldmean, "Tln angry but I can t tell youthat because I can't show that part ofme toyoubut I'm goingto do thingsthat show I've got a lot of pent-upenerryinside'me."'

Helping clients articulate issueslike these can go a longwaytowardrepairing rdd.tionships and nurtur-ingfteirgxdwth.

"People cemmunicate loud and

clear. They're just not communi-cating about the right thingsi saysMarlene. In her mid-60s like herhusband, she has a master's of so-cial work; her pre-coaching careerincludedwork as an earlychildhoodeducator and social services worker.

The Neufelds also offer weekend

retreats for couples who haveJradtwo-on-two coaching. Coaching bytelephone or Slgrpe is an option.

The Neufelds' website has a comu-copia of articles and tips under theNews section, on everything fromthe value of blurting to how to stoparguingabout money.

ilEUFELDS' SENUCES

SWORDSANDCAPES

Along with discussing whatthat tapping toe means, youmight be invited during asession to rummage throughthe Neufeld's trunk of toyswords, capes and helmets topick a prop that embodies howyou feel.

Slashing away with a toy sword,for example, might externalizean innertendency like extremeselFcriticism. Giving physicat 'form to the tendency makes iteasier to examine and manageinstead of allowing ittocontinue festerinj inside whereit will almost certainly spill overand sour a relationship.

WATKII{GTHETAIK"One reason we're ableto reachout to people is everything wework with is kitchen-tested.We do the process (ourselves),"Bob says.

During our interview, thecouple, who have been marriedsince 1970, occasionallyinterrupt each up other andjockey for position. Theirs,in other words, is a real-liferelationship.

THECOST

$160 per hour (freeintroductory hour). Servicesmay be covered by extendedhealth insurance plans. Findout more at, MarleneandBob.GOm.

This is the second in a seriesof stories Patrick Langston iswriting on services offeredin the Ottawa area that helpsupport people in their personaltransition.

OTTAWA CITIZEN

Therapists Marlene and Bob Neufeld provide elternative couplescounselling. Their toy trunk provides props to help discuss feelings.

ou know how it goes. youask, "Doyouwantacupoftea?" Your partner hears,"I want a cup of tea.', Al-ready on edge because the

WAYNE CUDDINGTON/OTTAWA CITIZEN